


Two in a Million, Once in a Life

by The_Huntsmans_Boss



Category: TXT (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, And Hobi fucks them, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Bottom Kim Seokjin | Jin, Breathplay, Dirty Talk, Dom Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Dry Sex, Group Sex, Hand Jobs, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope & Min Yoongi | Suga Are Best Friends, Light Angst, Light BDSM, Male Friendship, Male Slash, Masturbation, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Bad at Feelings, Multi, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Original Character(s), Porn With Plot, Prostate Massage, Public Blow Jobs, Public Hand Jobs, Public Sex, Sex Toys, Smut, Snark, Spanking, Spitroasting, Suicide Attempt, Switch Jeon Jungkook, Switch Kim Taehyung | V, Switch Park Jimin, The maknae line fuck each other a lot, Top Kim Namjoon | RM, Underage Drinking, Voyeurism, switching partners
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-08-23 23:56:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 205,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16628942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Huntsmans_Boss/pseuds/The_Huntsmans_Boss
Summary: Domming ain’t easy. Dom Hobi discovers this when he makes a critical mistake with new Sub Kookie causing a rift between Hobi & longtime Sub Jimin. This sets in motion a chain of events that will leave all of them questioning who they really are & what (and who) they really want.Disclaimers - TXT appears in Chapter 19 forward. Only age appropriate ships are used in their case. I’m kinky, not pervy. ;)





	1. July / Early August

**July 29, 2018**

**12:10am**

**Seoul, Korea**

It was late. Or maybe it was early. Jimin didn’t know. All he knew is Hobi wasn’t in the bed. He sighed. Hobi had taken on a new Sub & had been spending less & less time with Jimin. It was fine, he supposed. He was a Dom. It was up to him when to take new Subs. He was his Dom. Jimin heard the door open. Hobi got in bed behind him.

“Are you awake, Jiminie?”

“Maybe,” he stretched. Hobi put his nose on the back of Jimin’s neck & wrapped his arms around his hips.

“Did you need something?”

“You,”

“Anything more specific?”

“Maybe that perfect ass of yours, but I don’t know what to do to it,” he ran his hands down the front of Jimin’s thighs.

“You could pound it, sir,” _Sub mode activated_.

“I could,” Hobi slid his hands to the backs of Jimin’s thighs & up to his ass. He kissed his ear. “I could spank you.”

“You could,” Jimin arched his back & pressed his ass into Hobi’s hands.

“Why do you tempt me like this?”

“To pleasure you, sir,”

“Get on your knees,”

“Yes sir,” Jimin rolled over onto his stomach & put his ass in the air. Hobi got on his knees behind him. He ran his hand over Jimin’s ass, then gave it a solid smack. Jimin groaned. Hobi hit him again. Jimin swayed his back to push his ass up higher.

“You know me so well,” Hobi lied on Jimin’s back & stroked his sides.

“I try, sir,” Hobi smacked his ass again.

“Now it’s time to pound that perfect ass, my beautiful pet,” Jimin looked over his shoulder at Hobi & smiled at him. The smile alone could’ve made Hobi hard. He slid into him & Jimin ground his hips back into Hobi’s crotch.

“Easy now, pet,”

“Yes, sir,” Hobi started thrusting into Jimin. It felt amazing every time. Every stroke made him want to moan louder. Then he’d just hear about it from Jin about how he was being too loud. He started moving faster. Jimin’s breathing sped up.

“You like that?”

“Yes sir,”

“You want more?”

“Please,” Hobi grabbed onto Jimin’s waist & started pounding into him. Jimin grunted & groaned. Hobi felt Jimin start to twitch slightly & drop his head. He gave him one smooth, powerful thrust & Jimin came. He buried his face in the pillow & ground his hips back into Hobi. He dropped his hips when he finished.

“Good pet,” Hobi whispered in his ear. He thrust into him a few more times before finishing himself. Finishing inside of him would never get old. They settled back into bed with Jimin resting his head on Hobi’s chest.

“You’re the best,” he kissed the top of Jimin’s head.

“Am I your favorite?”

“Always,” They fell asleep like they had for years. Jimin resting on Hobi’s chest & Hobi hoping that Jimin would always be his.

**July 31, 2018**

**2:09pm**

**Seoul, Korea**

Hobi had bent over to pick up the earring that had fallen out. He felt a solid smack on his ass. He stood up slowly & looked behind him. Jimin was standing about 5 feet away.

“You think you can slap my ass & get away with it?” Hobi asked. Jimin cocked his head to one side & smiled.

“No,”

“I thought I told you to behave,” he grabbed Jimin’s shirt. He was still smiling.

“Make me,”

“I will,” Hobi got in his face so their lips were almost touching. Hobi could smell Jimin’s exorbitantly expensive shampoo. It made him all tingly. Jimin refused to break eye contact.

“In front of cameras?” Jimin asked. He had a point. Hobi let go of his shirt. Jimin smirked at him.

“Wait until they turn them off,” Hobi hissed in his ear.

“I’d expect nothing less,” Jimin replied. “Sir.”

 _Godammit._ Why did they always have to put them in tight pants?

**4:30pm**

Hobi waited until no one was looking. He put his hand on the back of Jimin’s neck.

“You’re coming with me,”

“Is that so?” Jimin hooked his thumb in the back of Hobi’s pants. Hobi pulled them into a semi-private area down one of the hallways. It had been a long time since they’d done anything in public. Obviously Jimin was feeling bold. Hobi could work with that. He pushed Jimin against the wall & kissed him. Jimin was pawing at Hobi’s waistband. He knew exactly what he was supposed to do.

“On your knees,” Hobi breathed into Jimin’s neck when he got Hobi’s pants undone.

“My pleasure, sir,” he replied. He knelt down. Hobi unbuttoned the top few buttons of Jimin’s shirt so he could feel his shoulders. Jimin flicked his tongue on the tip of Hobi’s cock. He took the tip of his tongue & licked slowly down the under side. Hobi grabbed onto his shoulders. Training could only get a Sub so far. Jimin had a gift. As much as one could for blow jobs. He grabbed onto Hobi’s hips as he took half of his dick in his mouth. He slid his index fingers up under Hobi’s shirt as he slowly licked. He moved his fingers up & down at the same rhythm.

“Fuck, Jiminie. I’m still going to have to walk after this,” he grabbed onto Jimin’s hair. He heard something that sounded suspiciously like a giggle from between his legs. Jimin started to speed up. He retracted his fingers & hung onto Hobi’s hips again. They’d notice they were missing sooner rather than later. No more games. Jimin took all of Hobi in his mouth & wrapped his tongue around the base. He rolled his tongue like kids did when they were making faces at each other. Hobi shook. Jimin carefully pulled his head back. When he got to the tip, he gave it one final flick. Hobi exploded into Jimin’s mouth. He grabbed Jimin’s head & held it into in his crotch. He almost collapsed after he finished. Jimin caught him & held him against the wall as he redid Hobi’s pants.

“Enjoyed yourself?” he asked.

“Wait until I get you home,” Hobi replied as he kissed him.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Jimin rebuttoned his shirt.

“I get to do what I want, remember?” Hobi pushed his hair off his face.

“Of course,” Jimin kissed him again. “Sir.”

That made Hobi’s knees go weak again. _Little shit._

**August 2, 2018**

**1:25pm**

**Seoul, Korea**

It was Tae’s turn to be broken in to semi-public sex acts. After his quickie on set with Jimin a few days ago, Hobi was in the mood for more risk. He decided to start off Tae a little more easily. For once. They had some down time & Hobi leaned over the back of the chair Tae was dozing off in.

“Busy?” “

"What?” he rolled his head over to one side.

“Let’s wake you up a little,” Hobi ran a finger down Tae’s neck right behind his ear.

“Sure,” he yawned as he stood up. Hobi took him to the same hallway as before. “I’m about to make the wardrobe department very, very angry,” Hobi smiled as he kissed Tae’s neck.

“What are you going to do?”

“Get a little handsy,” he unzipped Tae’s pants. “Don’t worry. You won’t have to swallow anything.”

“What do I do to you?”

“Try not to make too much noise,” Hobi pulled out Tae’s cock. “Though moaning is welcomed. And try not to bite me when you finish.”

“Okay,”

“Good pet,” Hobi wrapped one arm around Tae’s shoulders & made an O shape with his index finger & thumb around the tip. He massaged it, taking care to hit the bump on the underside with each stroke. Tae threw his head back almost banging it into the wall if it hadn’t been for Hobi’s arm. He grabbed onto Hobi’s ass & dug his fingers in.

“Maybe I’ll turn you into an ass man, too,” he sighed into Tae’s neck as he moved up the shaft. Hobi could feel Tae’s pulse echoing in his own chest.

“More please,”

“What was that?”

“More please sir,” Tae gasped.

“Of course,” he started to use his whole hand. Tae grunted. He tried to pull Hobi even closer to him.

“Easy now. I won’t be able to use my hand if you do that. You want to finish don’t you?” “

Yes, sir,” Tae loosened his grip.

“Who’s my good pet?” Hobi kissed him as he gave Tae one final squeeze. He came. All over both of their pants. And Hobi’s hand.

“Ever tasted yourself?” Hobi asked, licking his palm.

“No,” Tae was holding himself up on Hobi’s shoulder.

“Give it a try,” he held out his hand. Tae’s tongue barely touched Hobi’s hand.

“You can do better than that,” Tae licked one of Hobi’s fingers. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“Salty,” Tae said.

**7pm**

Hobi put his hand on the knob of the bedroom door & heard noises coming from the other side. He’d recognize Jimin’s ‘we need to keep it down, but I’m enjoying myself’ laugh anywhere.

_What the hell…?_

He cracked open the door & saw all 3 of his Subs on the bedroom floor. Jimin was making out with Kookie & Tae was watching with rapt attention. They were in various states of undress. Tae was still in his running shorts. Jimin was wrestling himself out of his sweatpants & Kookie was completely naked. Hobi was tempted to throw open the door & stop them, but he decided to wait.

“It’ll be fine,” Jimin told Kookie.

“Nothing to be afraid of.”

“Really?”

“I promise I won’t tell Hobi this is your first time,” he kissed him gently. Hobi had never been that reassuring for Jimin. He never knew how.

“Is he...mean?” Kookie asked. 

_Excuse you._

“He’s not mean. He just...tells you what to do. That’s what a Dominant does,” Jimin said as he ran his hand down Kookie’s chest. He was the best built of the three. That didn’t make him perfect, though.

“Yeah, you just do what he says,” Tae added.

“I want to try, but I don’t want him to get mad,” Kookie replied.

“He won’t get mad,” Jimin assured him, sitting in Kookie’s lap.

 _Excuse you squared_.

“Come on. Let’s give this a try,” he smiled.

“Okay,” Kookie seemed to relax. Jimin reached down between their legs where Hobi couldn’t see. He had a pretty good idea of what Jimin was doing. He’d done it to him hundreds, if not thousands, of times. Tae scooted over behind Kookie & started running his hands down his arms. Jimin straddled Kookie & started kissing him more intensely. Hobi was somewhere between pissed off & turned on. He was itching to stop them, but he wanted to see where this would end up. He was beginning to feel an uncomfortable heat in his crotch. Maybe he was a little more toward turned on. He didn’t move. Tae rested his chin on Kookie’s shoulder & simply watched as he made out with Jimin. Maybe he was waiting his turn or maybe he was being just as much of a voyeur as Hobi right now.

“Lie back,” Jimin told Kookie. Tae grudgingly moved out of the way as Kookie lied down on the floor among their discarded clothes.

“Relax. You’ll enjoy it more,” Hobi saw Kookie’s chest fall. Instead of Jimin going down on Kookie like he expected, he rolled on a condom & entered Kookie missionary style.

_What the hell cubed to power of what the fuck?_

Kookie held on to Jimin’s upper arms for dear life.

“Breathe,” Jimin leaned over him. “Breathe as I move.” Hobi watched as Jimin rocked back & forth never losing eye contact with Kookie. This was bizarre. And hot. He watched as Kookie’s hands relaxed & he started to get more into it. He began to grind against Jimin. His favorite Sub wasn’t a half bad teacher. Jimin leaned down & kissed Kookie again.

“There we go,” Jimin smiled. Kookie nodded. “More? Less?”

“More,”

“Of course,” Jimin didn’t speed up, he simply went deeper. That was a trick he’d learned from Hobi. Sometimes it wasn’t always about speed. It was about technique, too. He found himself nodding approvingly. Hobi heard Kookie moan. Works every time. Jimin leaned over & said something in Kookie’s ear that Hobi couldn’t hear. He saw Kookie smile. Kookie propped himself up on his elbows, arched up his back, & without Jimin pulling out, managed to get on all fours.

_Dayum._

Jimin held onto Kookie’s hips & continued at the same rate he’d been going. Kookie’s arms started to shake so he rested his forearms on the floor. He was getting close. Jimin gave him 2 solid thrusts & Hobi watched as Kookie practically jumped away from Jimin. Jimin held onto his hips the same way he held onto Hobi when he was coming after a blow job. Jimin was going to force you to finish whether you liked it or not. Once Kookie was still again, Jimin ran his hand through his sweaty hair, leaned his body onto Kookie’s back & thrust one more time. Hobi had never actually seen Jimin’s face when he had an orgasm. He’d seen the back of his head or the top of his head. At most the lower part of his face on the rare occasion he was the one giving the blow job. Like everything else about him, it was beautiful. Once Jimin stopped moving & rolled off of Kookie, Hobi carefully closed the door.

**9pm**

Yoongi leaned back & looked at Hobi as he closed the door to the balcony.

“How are the Subs?”

“Which one?” he rolled his eyes.

“All of them?” 

“Can’t leave them alone with each other. They start going at it without me,” he grunted.

“You have to train them better,” Yoongi tapped the ash off the end of his cigarette & took a sip of his drink.

“I assume you didn’t roofie me.”

“I don’t like older men,” Hobi winked taking a sip of his own drink. “Why? Did you roofie me?”

“You’re not my type,” he smirked.

“What is your type?”

“Stranded on a desert island with the nearest human 1000 kilometers away sounds pretty hot. I think I’m getting a boner thinking about it,” 

"I think I threw up a little in my mouth,” Hobi gagged.

“You asked,” Yoongi replied.

“I thought you didn’t have a gag reflex anymore.”

“Bite me,”

“No way. You’d enjoy that too much,” Yoongi put out his cigarette on the edge of the balcony.

“I guess I should see if my pets are still asleep,” Hobi got up.

“Keep it down please,”

“Now that you’ve said that I’ll just make a point of being louder,” he nudged Yoongi in the shoulder with his hip.

“Go fuck yourself,”

“Why do that when I have three other options?” Hobi grinned.

“I thought you were leaving,” Yoongi looked up at him.

“Enjoy your deserted island fantasy,” Hobi said.

“Already halfway there,” Yoongi called after him. Hobi gave him the finger. Yoongi chuckled to himself as he lit another cigarette & refilled his drink.

**9:45pm**

Hobi went back in the bedroom. Jimin & Kookie were passed out on top of each other. He’d actually enjoyed watching, but the raging case of blue balls while they slept it off wasn’t exactly enjoyable. Tae wasn’t immediately visible. Hobi crossed his arms & blew a breath out his nose. Where could he have gone? He checked the bathroom. No one was in there. He went back out into the hall & down to Tae & Kookie’s room. He found Tae on his bed. He wasn’t sure if he was asleep or just faking it. He sure as shit wouldn’t be faking anything later. He got in bed behind him, ran his hand down Tae’s bare chest, & reached his hand down his shorts.

“I know you’re awake,” he whispered in Tae’s ear. Hobi ran one finger down the length of Tae’s shaft. “Come on, don’t you want to play?”

“They finished without me,” he mumbled.

“That’s not nice. I won’t do that to you. If you’re good, I might even let you finish first,” Hobi purred as he carefully grasped his whole cock & massaged it. It didn’t really matter. Tae was already hard. _Good boy_ , Hobi thought. He knew who was in charge. He weaved the fingers of his other hand in Tae’s hair. He loved it when they’d just colored it. They actually conditioned it & it was nice & soft. Even if he hated him as a blond.

“Time to take these off,” he let go of him long enough to flick at the waistband of Tae’s shorts.

“Yes,”

“Yes what?”

“Yes sir,”

“Very good,” he kissed Tae’s ear. “Off with them.”

Tae awkwardly wiggled out of the shorts while Hobi was still holding onto his hair.

“Now my shirt,” he ordered. He let go of Tae’s hair long enough for him to roll over & face him. Tae obediently took off Hobi’s shirt.

“Shorts,”

“Yes sir,”

He felt like his balls were going to explode as Tae pulled down his shorts. He wasn’t sure he was going to be able to let Tae finish first. Yoongi had said he needed to train them better. Rewards were part of training. He grunted at the thought of waiting any longer than the next 30 seconds. This better be worth it.

“Since you were good & waited for me, you get a reward,” he kissed Tae.

“Really?” Tae looked surprised. Jimin may have been his favorite, but Tae was so blissfully naive sometimes. Jimin could get a little too smart mouthed sometimes. He would deal with Jimin later. He had more...pressing...things in front of him.

“Lie on your back,” Hobi told him.

“What’s…”

“Sssshhhhh,” Hobi pressed his finger to Tae’s lips.

“Do you want your reward or not?” Tae nodded.

“Then on your back & be quiet,” he said, maybe a bit too harshly. “I’m sorry, pet. I just want to give it to you...so badly.” _I wanted you to get me off 5 minutes ago. Be grateful_.

“Yes sir,”

“Good pet,” Hobi kissed him again. He began kissing his way down Tae’s perfectly hairless chest & stomach, stopping periodically to nip at him. He would squeak or jump & Hobi would just hold him down. He kept the palms of his hands pressed against Tae’s shoulders as he reached his throbbing erection. Tae might have had bigger hands, but Jimin had the bigger cock. No matter. It would be easier to fit the whole thing in his mouth. He curled his tongue around the base & slowly licked upward. Tae bucked.

“You have to hold still or I’ll stop,” Hobi said.

“Yes sir,” Tae squeaked.

“Good pet,” he smiled. He still kept his hands on Tae’s shoulders. He licked him again. He felt Tae strain to hold still. Oh yes. This was going to be fun. Hobi moved one hand to the center of Tae’s chest & ran his other hand down between Tae’s legs. He took just the tip in his mouth & flicked it with his tongue. At the same time, he gave Tae’s balls a gentle squeeze. More straining. He had to stop himself from cackling. He took more of Tae in his mouth & began the slow, steady licking & circling that he knew would drive him crazy. Tae whimpered. Hobi wasn’t sure if it was pain or pleasure, but he wasn’t going to stop. He started to speed up. He could feel Tae’s pulse under the hand he had on his chest. It felt like he was going to have a heart attack. He was close. Very close. He took his entire length in his mouth. In a move Hobi had perfected, he stuck a finger in Tae’s ass. That sent him over the edge. Hobi took his hand off Tae’s chest & let him thrash around while he came almost straight down Hobi’s throat. He was momentarily impressed with how much Tae had in him. Literally. He sat back & wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Tae was lying on his side panting.

“Thank you,” he gasped.

“Thank you…?”

“Thank you sir,”

“Catch your breath & then it’s your turn, pet,” he stretched out next to Tae.

“What do you want?” Tae sat up & pushed his sweaty hair off his forehead.

“Practice on me. You need to learn,” he told him.

“What you just did?” Maybe his brain had come out of his cock, too.

“Yes. What I just did,” He forgot what a pain in the ass, sometimes literally, training new Subs could be. Tae leaned over & tentatively took Hobi’s dick in his mouth. Even the slightest touch felt good. It was going to take a fair bit of self control to not blow his load immediately. Jimin & Kookie would definitely be hearing about this later.

“Use your tongue,” he instructed. He felt Tae’s tongue wrap around his painfully hard cock. “Pretend it’s a popsicle.”

It was a ridiculous image, but he’d be damned if it didn’t cut the learning curve in half. Tae licked him. Hobi pushed his hips up, forcing himself further into Tae’s mouth. He made a little coughing sound.

“We’ll cure you of that, too,” he said. “Keep going.” Tae started to get into some kind of rhythm. He seemed to be getting the hang of it.

“Now just the tip,” Tae backed off like he was told. Hobi was sick of waiting. After the second lick, he let himself go. He grabbed Tae’s hair & held his head in his crotch as he came. Boy had to learn how to swallow sooner rather than later. Or at least not choke. Tae managed to stay with him. He coughed when Hobi let go of his head.

“I think it went up my nose,” Tae made a face.

“Try to breathe out the side of your mouth. You don’t have to get it all. You’ll get it next time,” Hobi told him.

“Next time?”

“There’s always a next time, pet,” Hobi smiled.

**August 3, 2018**

**10:15pm**

**Seoul, Korea**

“Will you be a good Sub & finish me off?” Hobi asked.

“You just came from a room with two of them,” Jimin raised an eyebrow on par with Yoongi’s.

“But you do it so well,” Hobi kissed him.

“Don’t trust them?”

“You’re the best,”

“You’re sounding very un-Dom like, you know. Is that because all the blood is in your tiny head?” Jimin gave him a look.

“Thinking is virtually impossible right now,” Hobi replied.

“Then get on your back & I’ll do the thinking,”

“Thank you, Jiminie,” he smiled. “Don’t thank me yet,”

Hobi sighed happily & closed his eyes. Jimin ran his hands down Hobi’s chest & pulled down his pants. Throbbing didn’t quite do this erection justice. Jimin barely touched Hobi & he bucked.

“Don’t make me hold you down,” Jimin said.

“That’s my job,” Hobi replied.

“Mmhmm,” Jimin ran a finger up Hobi’s dick. He grasped the base firmly. Hobi squirmed. They all made fun of his small hands. Hey, if they got the job done.

“I really will hold you down,” he told Hobi.

“Don’t care,”

“Fine,” Jimin replied. He straddled one of Hobi’s legs, lying down on top of him & using his body weight to pin him down. He had his hand, and its associated contents, bolstered on his right thigh. It became like trying not to get bucked off a horse. Every stroke elicited a buck, jerk, or squirm. Jimin wasn’t as tall or heavy as Hobi so even having his entire body weight on him wasn’t entirely effective.

“I’m finishing you off now,” Jimin hissed as he gave Hobi one final squeeze. Hobi had been holding onto this one for several hours, so it took all Jimin had to not let go. He hooked his arm around Hobi’s neck to keep from actually getting bucked off. They were both hot & sticky.

“Why are you perfect?” Hobi asked as he pushed Jimin’s hair back.

“I’m not perfect,” Jimin replied.

“You’re perfect to me & that’s what matters,” he kissed him. Jimin didn’t know if it was because Hobi was tired, but the kiss felt different. It didn’t have the usual aggressive, hungry quality to it. He couldn’t describe it, but it felt...sweet. He was imagining things. Hobi was tired. He’d just come all over both of them. They’d shower together, then go to bed. Nothing was different. Nothing ever changed. Jimin wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

**August 5, 2018**

**10:40pm**

**Seoul, Korea**

“I know what happened between you & Kookie,” Hobi said. Jimin went rigid.

“He was scared about Subbing. I wanted to show him that it wasn’t bad,”

 _Liar_.

“That’s all?”

“That’s all. We didn’t play with any of your toys. I didn’t have anyone to help me. I wanted to help him,” he replied.

“You’re right. Just don’t do it again,” Hobi patted his lap. Jimin sat & rested his head on Hobi’s shoulder.

“You’ll always be my favorite.”

“You say that,” Jimin sighed.

“You don’t believe me?” Hobi tried not to sound offended.

“Are you jealous?”

“No,”

“Jiminie…”

“Yes,”

“Only because you’ve been ignoring me,” Jimin said. “I hate it that you got another new Sub.”

Hobi considered what he’d said. Jimin had been his only Sub for years. Then Kookie had gotten old enough & decided he wanted to experiment. Tae was just easy to manipulate. It had never occurred to him that he might have hurt Jimin’s feelings. Or that Jimin even had feelings about their arrangement in the first place beyond...well...the primal kind.

_Fuck._

They sat there in silence for a while, Hobi petting Jimin & Jimin slowly falling asleep. Eventually Hobi got up & helped Jimin over to the bed.

“I’ll be back,” he kissed Jimin.

“Okay,” Jimin mumbled & rolled over.

**11:10pm**

“I need help,” Hobi said as he walked out onto the balcony.

“I could’ve told you that,” Yoongi replied, not looking up from his book. He handed Hobi a glass of scotch. Ever since they’d started making decent money, Yoongi had upgraded from cheap whiskey to entry level scotch. He still smoked cheapass cigarettes. Probably would until he died.

“Shut up, asshole,” Hobi sat down.

“You’re stepping into these jokes right & left,” Yoongi grinned as he put down his book & took a sip.

“Why am I friends with you again?”

“Because I’m smarter than you. What do you require?”

“Jimin’s upset that he isn’t my only Sub anymore,” he said.

“You’re just now figuring this out?” Yoongi raised an eyebrow. Hobi was surprised it didn’t have a permanent arch.

“He told me,” Hobi replied.

“Sometimes I wonder if you get any blood flow to your brain at all,” Yoongi took a long drag off his cigarette. “How long was it just him?”

“I dunno...3 years? That sounds right,” Hobi shrugged.

“I know this will be a challenge for you, oh dominant bestie, but look at things from his perspective for a minute. You’ve been the only Sub, the apple of your Dom’s eye for years, & then he takes on not one, but two new Subs in less than 2 months. As you are acutely aware, Subs require nurturing & attention. Nurturing & attention that has now been taken away from you. Don’t you think you might be a tiny bit hurt by that?” Yoongi leaned back on the back 2 legs of the chair. He could make anything look cool.

“Maybe,” Hobi replied.

“Let me rephrase. How about if I all of a sudden decided that I wanted to hang out with someone, or two someones, more than I do with you. We’re still friends, but I spend all my time with them now instead of you,”

“I’d be pretty pissed off,”

“And that is precisely how Jimin feels. Maybe not pissed off because I’m reasonably certain he has no idea what pissed off even is, but hurt. He thinks you love him. He thinks he’s special. Now that you’ve added Kookie & Tae, you took that away from him. He’s going to act out. He’s going to go behind your back,” Yoongi leaned over & refilled the glass that Hobi hadn’t realized he’d finished.

“What do I do, Mr Smarter Than Me?”

“Make time for him. Make him feel important again. Kookie & Tae will live & so will you. You survived for years with only 1 Sub. You can take your time building your harem,” Yoongi replied. Hobi sighed. He knew Yoongi was right. Part of why you had to train a Sub in the first place was because it was a relationship. Not the kind where you took each other on dates or bought each other flowers, but there were roles. Very clear roles. Those had blurred a long time ago. He’d let Jimin get mouthy with him. And not in the good way. He’d let a lot slide. He’d let Jimin & Tae even try to push him around once. Jimin paid for it later, but it shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

“You know you could just admit you love him & be done with it,” Yoongi’s voice jolted him back into the present.

“Don’t be stupid,” Hobi said.

“You asked for my help. You got it,” Yoongi shrugged.

“I’m not in love with him,” Hobi said.

“Uh huh,” Yoongi sipped his drink & stamped out his cigarette.

“I’m not!”

“Keep it down or Jin will come out here & I’m not in the mood to deal with him lecturing us about noise ordinances,”

**11:45pm**

Hobi went back into the bedroom. Jimin was sleeping on his stomach like he always did. He thought about what Yoongi said. He’d promise to make time for him. He was his favorite even if he’d been a pain in the ass lately. He’d love to be slapping that ass right now, but he decided to let him sleep. Instead he grabbed the handcuffs out of the side table & walked down the hall to Tae & Kookie’s room. Two Subs, two fresh asses to slap. Exactly what he needed to take his mind off his conversation with Yoongi. And that tickle in the back of his head telling him that Yoongi was right.

Kookie & Tae were sitting on Kookie’s bed watching something on Kookie’s phone.

“Oh pets,” Hobi said in a lilting tone, dangling the cuffs off one finger. They looked up. “Who’s ready for a little fun?”

They looked at each other.

“Who’s wearing those?” Tae asked.

“I don’t think Kookie has been sufficiently disciplined for the other night when he went behind my back with Jimin,” he smiled.

“Will it hurt?” Kookie asked.

“That’s up to you really. Though I’m not as gentle as Jimin,” Kookie just stared at him. “You wanted to be a Sub. This is part of the deal. I say jump, you say how high. Sir,” Hobi swung the cuffs on his finger for emphasis.

“Do I need to leave?” Tae asked.

“Oh no. You’re playing, too,” he was still smiling. “Are we done talking?”

 _Please Jesus say yes_.

“Yes…?”

_Finally._

“Good. Strip. Both of you,” he said walking into the room & closing the door. They did as they were told.

“Tae, take off my shirt,” Tae stepped over & pulled Hobi’s shirt off over his head. He had slightly more confidence than last time.

“Kookie, take off my shorts,” Kookie bit his lip & quickly yanked his shorts down. This was his first time Subbing for Hobi. He was clearly second guessing this decision. Jimin had been a Sub for so long & Kookie was so inexperienced, it was basically a meeting of equals. Not this time.

“Hold out your hands,” Hobi said. Kookie held out his arms. Hobi cuffed him & turned him around.

“On the bed. You too, Tae,” Kookie pitched forward with not much to catch himself. Tae scrambled on the bed next to Kookie. Hobi got behind Kookie & pulled his head back by the hair.

“Now we’re going to do a little something I like to refer to as burning the candle from both ends. I’m going to fuck you & you’re going to blow Tae,”

“I’ve never…” Kookie started.

“Everyone has to learn sometime,” Hobi leaned over Kookie’s back & put his mouth next to his ear. 

“Pretend it’s a popsicle!” Tae piped up.

“You do listen. Good pet,” Hobi looked up at him with the same look a lion would give a gazelle. That was about to be lunch.

“Get in front of him. He won’t be doing much with his hands,” Hobi instructed. Tae positioned himself so Kookie’s face was essentially in his lap. Hobi pulled out a box of condoms from the bedside table between their beds.

“Where’d those come from?” Kookie asked.

“If you think I don’t have these stashed all over the house, you don’t know me very well,” Hobi replied as he put one on. The last thing he wanted was an infection. And easier cleanup.

“Light ‘em up,” he said as he slid his dick into Kookie’s ass. God he was tight. Kookie grunted. Again, he couldn’t tell if it was pain or pleasure. Probably a little of both. He put his hand on the back of Kookie’s head & forced him onto his elbows. Then he tilted his head forward onto Tae’s cock.

“Good boy,” he gave Kookie’s ass a solid smack. That was possibly one of the most satisfying sounds on the planet. He smacked him again.

“I don’t see any movement down there,” he said as he thrust into Kookie the first time. Tae pushed his hips up.

“No cheating,” Hobi leaned over & swatted Tae’s nipple.

“Sorry,”

“Sorry what?”

“Sorry sir,”

“He has to do it himself, don’t you? Push against me for yes,” Kookie ground his ass against Hobi. “You’re not as dumb as everyone thinks you are,” Hobi smacked his ass again. If he were to brutally honest, he could probably get off just from spanking them. But where was the fun in that? He watched as Kookie’s head started to move & Tae started to react. Beautiful. Hobi started slowly. In spite of his threat that he wasn’t as gentle as Jimin, Kookie wasn’t any good to him if he couldn’t sit down for a week. And he was really, really tight. He ran a finger up Kookie’s spine. He felt Kookie shiver all around him.

“Relax, my pet. You’ll enjoy it more,” Tae certainly sounded like he was enjoying his end. He felt Kookie relax a little. He went a little faster. He heard Kookie groan. He grabbed onto his hips & waited a few seconds in between each thrust. He groaned with each thrust. Now he was getting the hang of it. He just had to time it right. He couldn’t finish him before he finished Tae. He wasn’t sure if Kookie was a biter & the last thing he needed was one Sub biting another one’s dick.

“What did I teach you, Tae?” Hobi asked.

“Don’t let him up?” he breathed. Hobi winked. He gave Kookie a hard thrust. That forced Kookie’s head all the way down on Tae’s cock. Tae looked like he was going to knock Kookie’s teeth out as he held down his head while he came. He let go of Kookie’s head when he finished & flopped back against the wall panting. Kookie was coughing & shaking his head like he’d just pulled his head out of water.

“Your turn,” Hobi caressed Kookie’s neck. He went back to the periodic thrusting. He seemed to like that. Hobi could feel Kookie start to contract around him. He sped up. Kookie’s shoulders started to shake as he tried, and failed, to control his breathing. Hobi gave him one final powerful pound & that sent him over the edge. He wasn’t a biter, but he made a lot of noise. He would definitely get an earful from Jin later about it. Now that both of his Subs had finished, Hobi let himself release. He grabbed Kookie’s hips again & put as much of his cock in as possible. Hobi ground into him until he was satisfied. Then he pulled out & let Kookie fall into his own wet spot. Note to self - condom for him too next time.

“Good pets,” he kissed each of them. They were both half conscious. That was the way he liked to leave all of his Subs.

“Thank you sir,” they mumbled. He took the cuffs off Kookie, put his clothes back on, & stopped to admire their two naked sleeping forms before he left. Another successful training session.

**11:45pm**

**Kookie:**

Kookie & Tae were sitting on Kookie’s bed watching some YouTube videos they’d seen recommended by ARMYs online. They looked up when they heard someone lean on the doorframe. Hobi was standing there with a pair of handcuffs dangling off his index finger.

“Oh pets, who’s ready for a little fun?” he grinned. They looked at each other like the other one knew what “fun” meant. Tae took one for the team.

“Who’s wearing those?” he asked. Hobi looked at Kookie while adjusting his posture.

“I don’t think Kookie has been sufficiently disciplined for the other night when he went behind my back with Jimin,”

Kookie wanted to protest & say it was Jimin’s idea. He also didn’t want to get Jimin in trouble. He eyed the cuffs with great suspicion. However, he’d agreed, hell asked, to Sub & bondage was a given.

“Will it hurt?” he asked.

“That’s up to you really,” Hobi shrugged.

“Though I’m not as gentle as Jimin.” Kookie thought about his night with Jimin. He had been gentle. And understanding. Kookie had enjoyed it more than he thought he would.

“You wanted to Sub. When I say jump, you say how high. Sir,” Hobi swung the cuffs in a circle around his finger.

“Do I need to leave?” Tae asked. Kookie had almost forgotten he was even there. Hobi switched his attention to Tae.

“Oh no. You’re playing, too,” Kookie saw Tae squirm a little. He knew his best friend well enough to know that was a turned on squirm, not an uncomfortable squirm. If Tae could do it, so could he.

“Are we done talking?” Hobi asked. He was clearly starting to get annoyed.

“Yes…?” they replied. The question mark came from Kookie.

“Good,” Hobi smiled, closing the door behind him. “Strip. Both of you.” As they took off their clothes, Kookie looked over & noticed that Tae was already hard. Kookie, less so.

“Tae, take off my shirt,” Hobi instructed. Tae stepped over & pulled Hobi’s shirt over his head.

“Kookie, take off my shorts,” Kookie hesitated, but then did as he was told. Kookie had only seen 3 penises in his life (other than his own obviously), but Hobi’s looked to be the largest at first glance. And it was either going in his mouth or his ass.

“Hold out your hands,” Kookie held out his arms & Hobi put the cuffs on. They were a little tight, but not cutting off circulation. Hobi turned him around & Kookie could feel his cock on the back of his thigh.

“On the bed. You too, Tae,” Hobi gave him a little push & Kookie fell forward. He couldn’t really catch himself so he essentially face planted on the bed. Kookie felt someone get behind him, then grab his hair.

“We’re going to do a little something I like to refer to as burning the candle at both ends,” Hobi’s hot breath brushed on Kookie’s ear. “I’m going to fuck you & you're going to blow Tae.” Kookie’s mind went temporarily blank.

“I’ve never…” was all he could manage to get out.

“Everyone has to learn sometime,” Kookie felt Hobi’s weight heavy on his back.

“Pretend it’s a popsicle!” He heard Tae from somewhere next to him.

“You do listen. Good pet,” Hobi purred. “Get in front of him. He won’t be doing much with his hands.”

Tae lifted Kookie’s head up & got under him. Kookie was essentially staring down Tae’s erection. That was apparently what did it for him. He was hard almost instantly. Out of the corner of his eye, Kookie saw Hobi grab a box of condoms out of their bedside table.

“Where’d those come from?” he asked.

“If you think I don’t have these stashed all over the house, then you don’t know me very well,” Hobi replied. “Light ‘em up.”

Kookie felt a dick slide into his ass. He was definitely bigger than Jimin. Kookie grunted more out of surprise than anything. Hobi put his hand on the back of Kookie’s head & forced it down onto Tae’s cock.

“Good boy,” Hobi said & smacked his ass.

_Ow._

He paused for a second then smacked him again.

 _Less ow_.

Hobi thrust into him for the first time. It hurt, but it also felt good.

“I don’t see any movement down there,” Hobi said. Tae pushed his hips into Kookie’s face, getting more of his dick in Kookie’s mouth.

“No cheating,” Kookie heard a slap above his head.

“Sorry,” Tae said.

“Sorry what?”

“Sorry sir,”

“He has to do it himself, don’t you? Push against me for yes,” Hobi said. Kookie braced himself & pushed back, taking all of Hobi inside him. He was slowly getting used to the feeling of a cock in his ass. And learning to enjoy it.

“You’re not as dumb as everyone thinks you are,” Hobi smacked his ass again.

_Moderate ow._

Kookie focused on Tae’s popsicle suggestion. He began steadily licking up & down. Tae began to squirm. If Kookie was going to be honest with himself, this is what he really wanted. He wanted to be more than just friends with Tae. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to explore every inch of his body. He wanted to pleasure him however he could. When Tae told him that he’d asked to Sub for Hobi, Kookie saw his opportunity. Hobi wouldn’t turn down a new Sub & it might give him the chance to finally get what he wanted with Tae. As he listened to Tae moan & felt him writhe under him, Kookie felt like he’d made the right decision. However he couldn’t focus on 2 things at once & had tightened up around Hobi.

“Relax, my pet. You’ll enjoy it more,” _I think I’m enjoying myself pretty good now_. Hobi ran the tip of his finger up Kookie’s spine. Kookie grunted & felt himself relax a bit.

“What did I teach you, Tae?”

_Huh?_

“Don’t let him up?”

_Say what?_

Hobi thrust into Kookie & forced all of Tae’s cock into his mouth. Tae started coming almost immediately. He held onto Kookie’s hair as he thrust into Kookie’s mouth. He had no choice but to swallow. Tae let go of his head & flopped back against the wall after he finished. His chest was heaving & he was sweating like he’d just run a marathon. Kookie coughed as he tried to literally choke down what was left in his mouth & throat.

“Your turn,” Hobi caressed the back of Kookie’s neck. He pulled Kookie back up on all fours & thrust into him. He waited a few seconds then thrust again. Kookie groaned. Hobi continued like that, thrusting every few seconds. Kookie’s arms started to shake. He tried to breathe evenly, but his breaths came out ragged & short. He started to contract around Hobi. Hobi grabbed onto Kookie’s hips & gave him one final thrust. Kookie screamed & strained against the cuffs as he exploded all over the sheets. He pushed back against Hobi’s dick as he finished. While he was catching his breath, Hobi pounded into him again. He felt Hobi shake inside him & then grind into his ass. Hobi pulled out & Kookie fell forward into a wet spot.

_Ew._

Ultimately he was too spent to care. Tae was still slumped up against the wall. Kookie pulled himself over to lie next to him.

“Good pets,” he kissed Tae & then Kookie.

“Thank you sir,” they muttered. Kookie dimly registered that Hobi had taken off the cuffs before he fell asleep with his head on Tae’s chest.

**August 6, 2018**

**1:15am**

**Seoul, Korea**

“What have I told you about keeping it down?” Jin accosted Hobi in the hall.

“It wasn’t me,” he said.

“I know you were part of it,” Jin glared.

“I didn’t know he’d make that much noise. If you like, I’ll gag him next time,” Hobi smirked. Jin wrinkled his nose.

“You’re just jealous because the most exciting sex you have these days is on his side of the bed rather than yours,”

“I’m not the least bit jealous of your sex life. We don’t need gags & handcuffs to stay satisfied,” said Jin.

“But it’s so much more fun that way,”

“Just don’t be so loud next time. Some of us might want to sleep,”

“I put them to sleep,” Hobi wiggled an eyebrow at Jin. Jin held up his hand.

“Just stop,”

“Good night, Jin,” Hobi laughed as he stepped around Jin & walked down the hall.

“Good night, thorn in my side,”

“Awww, I love you too,” Jin gave him the one finger salute.

**1:51am**

Hobi cleaned himself up & got in bed behind Jimin.

“You smell like them,” he mumbled, half asleep.

“I should learn to scrub behind my ears better,” Hobi replied.

“You could bathe in bleach & I’d know,” he said. “I know your smell, Hobi- _hyung_. And I know when you don’t smell right.”

_Tell him._

“I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting you, Jiminie. I promise I’ll make time for you. For us,” he kissed the back of Jimin’s neck.

“You really promise or are you just saying that so I won’t fool around with Kookie again?” he looked over his shoulder at Hobi.

“I really promise,” he rubbed Jimin’s stomach. His perfect, toned, yet soft stomach.

“Do I get to pick when?”

“I’m the Dom,”

“I’m your favorite,”

“You’ve been out of line lately,”

“You’ve let me,”

“It’s past time for a good punishment,”

“Don’t do that to me,” Jimin squirmed.

“Do what?” Hobi did his best to sound innocent & failed as he kissed the space between Jimin’s ear & jaw.

“Get me excited at this hour. We have to get up early in the morning,” he wrapped his arm around Hobi’s head.

“Forget the morning, I’d say you’re up right now,” Hobi grinned as he ran his hand down from Jimin’s stomach to between his legs. Yup, nice & hard. “How should I punish you? Keep you awake? Make you wait? A little of both?” He lightly walked his fingers down Jimin’s thigh. He felt goosebumps rise under his fingers.

“I told you we have to be up in 4 hours,” he rolled over to face Hobi.

“And? That’s what coffee is for,” he kissed him.

“I’m tired,”

“Not tired enough to not argue with me,” he reached up under Jimin’s shorts & cupped his ass in his hand. Perfect fit. As always.

“Maybe I’m trying to earn a worse punishment,” Jimin ran his hand down Hobi’s chest. _Little bitch_.

“Fine. The collar it is,”

“That’s it?”

“And the cuffs,”

“That’s the Dom I know,” Jimin kissed him. “

You won’t be so perky in about 10 minutes,” Hobi replied.

“I’ve been a very, very bad Sub. I deserve to be punished, sir,” Jimin whispered in his ear. Hobi bit back a moan. He’d already come once tonight, but nobody did it for him like Jimin.

“Don’t move,”

“Yes sir,” he smiled as he leaned back against the wall. That smile could make him do anything. That scared him a little. Okay, a lot. He got up & got a collar that had two chains attached to it out of the closet. He pulled the handcuffs back out. Jimin lifted his chin as Hobi fastened the collar around his neck. He handcuffed him, then attached each of the chains from the collar onto each side of the cuffs. If Jimin struggled too much with his hands, he’d pull on the collar & could in theory choke himself. It was designed to keep the Sub extra compliant. He had almost choked himself the first time they’d used it. It had taken months before they worked up the guts to try it again. Now it was in the regular rotation.

“Roll over,”

“Yes sir,” He gave Jimin’s ass a solid smack. Fuck Jin’s opinion about noise. He smacked his ass again. Jimin practically purred.

“What kind of noise was that?” Hobi lied on Jimin’s back.

“Did you want a different one, sir?”

“I want one I can hear,” he licked Jimin’s ear. Jimin’s whole body shivered. Hobi sat back up & smacked Jimin’s ass as hard as he could. Jimin moaned.

“That’s better,”

“Anything for you, sir,” By this point Jimin’s ass was red & Hobi’s hand was starting to hurt. Spanking two Subs in the span of several hours was a challenge even for his hand.

“Up,” Jimin got up on all fours.

“Arms out,” He pressed his chest against the bed & extended his arms. It pulled on the collar, but not enough to seriously hurt him. Just enough for him to enjoy it.

“Now my favorite part,”

“And mine, sir,” Jimin replied. Hobi slid into Jimin. He wasn’t nearly as tight as Kookie. Kookie had been like sticking his dick in a straw. He’d loosen him up, literally, eventually. Jimin was a perfectly tailored glove. He went slowly to extend the torture. That & he may or may not have been a little sore. “I can’t hear you,” he said. Jimin grunted & grabbed onto the sheets. He ground his hips back onto Hobi’s cock.

“Please,” Jimin groaned.

“Nope. Not yet,” Hobi ran his hands up Jimin’s sides. Why did he have to be so fucking perfect? It wasn’t fair.

“I’m going to try something new, pet,” he said.

“Yes, sir,” Jimin breathed. He was about halfway there. Hobi reached around & grabbed Jimin’s cock. Jimin jumped a little.

“Don’t worry, you’ll like it,” Hobi said. He started to massage Jimin’s dick at the same pace he was thrusting. Jimin’s breathing immediately sped up. Hobi saw his arms strain & pull against the collar. He was clawing at the sheets & making noises Hobi had never heard from him before. _Damn I’m good_. He felt that telltale tickle at the tip of his dick. He had about 5 seconds before Jimin came.

3...2...1

A few seconds after Jimin started, he took Hobi with him. Don’t let go. Hobi told himself. He had to hang onto his dick until Jimin finished. It was the most intense orgasm Hobi’d had in years. He was seeing stars as he collapsed back onto the bed. Jimin had rolled over on his back practically hyperventilating. His neck was red from straining against the collar. Those would be bruises in a day or so. Hobi’s hands were shaking so badly, it took him twice as long to get Jimin out of the collar & cuffs. Jimin fell back against Hobi’s chest.

“Where the hell did you learn that?” he pushed his sweaty hair back. He looked so sexy when he was sweaty.

“It seemed like a good idea,” Hobi shrugged, putting his arm around Jimin.

“I’m going to make you do that every time,” Jimin looked up at him.

“Then it won’t be special,” Hobi kissed him.

“Plus I’m going to have to answer for those bruises.” Jimin touched his neck.

“You’ve done worse to me,” he said.

“And you’ve enjoyed worse,” Hobi agreed.

“Am I still your favorite?”

“You’re the best Sub a Dom could ask for,” Hobi kissed him. _And I love you_.

“Now will you let me sleep?”

“I’m tired, so yes,”

“Good night, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

“Good night, Jiminie,” Hobi settled in & wished things could be as simple as they were before as he drifted off to sleep with Jimin in his arms.

**6:08am**

“Late night? Or should I say early morning?” Yoongi handed Hobi a coffee as they walked down the stairs to meet their ride for their early morning appearance. Hobi simply grunted. Yoongi grinned.

“Kookie is walking like he just got off a horse & Jimin is wearing a turtleneck in August, so I just assumed…” Hobi grunted again. He took a sip of coffee & almost spat it out.

“What the hell is in here? Jack Daniels?”

“I call it the Min Yoongi Special,” Yoongi laughed as he went to light a cigarette. Jin swatted it out of his mouth.

“We’re about to get in the car,” he snapped.

“Sorry Mom,” Yoongi rolled his eyes & put the pack back in his pocket. Namjoon snickered. Jin gave him a death stare. Namjoon put his arm around Jin’s shoulders & kissed him on the cheek.

“I love how cheerful you are in the morning,” he smiled. Now it was Hobi’s turn to snicker. The van pulled up & they all groggily got in. Jimin sat next to Hobi & promptly went right back to sleep. Tae & Kookie fell back asleep on each other. Yoongi, Jin, & Namjoon sat in the first row. Hobi took another sip of the Min Yoongi Special. Now that he knew what to expect, it wasn’t half bad.

“What the hell are we even going to again?” Yoongi asked.

“Photoshoot,” Namjoon said.

“At seven in the goddamn morning?” Hobi said.

“It starts at nine. We have to get all dressed up first. And they’re going to be pissed about covering whatever is under that turtleneck,” Namjoon replied.

“It’s called Photoshop,” Hobi leaned his head back & closed his eyes.

“Yeah, I don’t think they’ll agree with you on that one,” Namjoon told him. Hobi rolled his eyes, but it lost its impact with his eyes closed. Jimin shifted & his hand fell into Hobi’s lap. That woke him up more than 50 Min Yoongi Specials.

“Please try not to flaunt your harem,” Jin said. Hobi looked down the row at the sleeping _maknae_ line. He was singlehandedly responsible for how well all of them were sleeping right now.

“You ruin literally all of my fun,” Hobi said.

“Hardly,” Jin replied. “I certainly can’t unhear some things from last night.”

“I can’t unhear your existence,” Hobi retorted.

“Children,” Namjoon sighed.

“Sorry Dad,” Hobi stuck out his tongue. Yoongi snorted. The van stopped & they stumbled out. Three of them were half asleep, Hobi had consumed the equivalent of two shots of Jack, & the other three were mostly trying to stay out of the others’ way.

 **8:15am**  

The wardrobe department clearly had it in for Hobi because they’d put Jimin, Tae, & Kookie in leather pants. _Rude_.

“You’re staring,” Yoongi came up behind him.

“I kind of can’t help it,” Hobi gestured to the three of them.

“Imagine them in monk outfits. Or something equally unsexy,”

Hobi sighed. 

“Domming ain’t easy. If it were, everyone would do it,” Yoongi bumped Hobi with his shoulder.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Hobi put his arm around Yoongi’s shoulders.

“I might even feed them for you later,”

“I have excellent taste in friends,” Hobi smiled.

“Obviously?” They laughed.

“Stop ogling their asses & go get changed. Or something,” Yoongi pulled out his cigarettes & went for one of the service entrances. Hobi shook his head.

“Hoseok! Jin! Namjoon!” The wardrobe mistress called them. He always felt like he was in trouble when someone called him by his real name. He probably was. At least with the makeup department. He ended up in tight black jeans with rips in the knees (a staple of their look), a white button up shirt, & a red military style jacket. They’d styled his hair to look like elevated bedhead. _Hell, it looked like this last night. This morning?_ He yawned as he walked out of the wardrobe area. Once his attention was somewhat refocused, he saw Kookie staring at him. With his jaw dropped.

“Close your mouth. You’ll catch a fly,” Hobi walked over & tapped his chin. Kookie snapped his jaw shut. “It’s not like you’ve never seen me dressed like this before.”

“I’ve never seen you dressed like that...after...you know…” he lowered his voice.

“So what you’re saying is you enjoyed it?” Hobi gave him a knowing look.

“Yes,”

“More than Jimin?” Hobi crossed his arms. The true test of a Sub. If he really knew his place.

“Yes,” It was a little too tentative for Hobi’s liking. They were the same height, but Kookie started to shrink under Hobi’s gaze.

“How about just you & me later? Then we’ll see how you feel after that,” Hobi stepped closer & ran his hand down the long earring they’d put in Kookie’s right ear. Kookie nodded mutely.

“Good pet.”

**9pm**

Kookie hadn’t been able to get that night out of a loop in his head. Tae squirming under him. The sound he made when Kookie licked him. Tae holding his head down when he came. Falling asleep on top of the one person he’d had a thing for since he realized he could have things for people. After the initial shock of having to swallow, he’d actually enjoyed it. He’d enjoyed it all. He felt in control. Hobi might have forced him to finish Tae the first time, but this time was going to be theirs. Kookie would make sure of it. They’d gotten back from a long day of practice after the photoshoot. They were tired, sweaty, & hungry. Though Kookie was hungry for more than just Jin’s cooking. He waited until after dinner & when Tae said he was going to take a shower. Kookie caught him in their room while he was grabbing his towel.

“Before you shower, I was wondering if you wanted to...try something,” he said.

“Like what?” Tae asked.

“Like what we did with Hobi. Only without Hobi this time,” Kookie brushed some of Tae’s hair behind his ear.

“Won’t he be mad?”

“I won’t tell if you don’t,” Kookie kissed him.

“Unless you didn’t enjoy it.”

“I definitely enjoyed it,” Tae kissed him back.

“So did I,” Kookie said as he ran his hands up Tae’s sides. Tae reached down & grabbed Kookie’s ass to pull him closer. He was slightly shorter than Kookie, but not by much.

“What do you want to do?” he asked. “I want you to fuck me like Hobi did. I want you to pound me,” Kookie breathed. _He_ really wanted to be pounding _Tae_ , but Tae hadn’t gotten to fuck anyone yet (so far as he was aware). Kookie wanted to be his first.

“Sounds perfect,” Tae kissed under Kookie’s chin.

“Then why do we still have our clothes on?” Kookie looked down at Tae. Tae grinned & yanked Kookie’s sweaty shirt off. Kookie unbuttoned Tae’s jeans, though not nearly as deftly as Hobi could. He could probably do it in the dark with one hand. He’d also undone a few more pairs of pants than Kookie had. They fell on the the bed in a fit of giggles & heavy breathing.

“We need to be quiet. We don’t want Hobi to hear,” Tae whispered in Kookie’s ear.

“No promises,” Kookie whispered back.

“Is that box still in there?” Tae leaned over & sure enough Hobi’s secret stash of condoms was still there.

“Give me one, too,” Kookie said remembering The Great Wet Spot Incident. Tae tossed him one.

“You ready?” Kookie asked.

“I’ve been ready,” Tae smiled. Kookie got up on all fours & looked over his shoulder. He groaned as Tae slid into him. He’d had nothing to compare Jimin to & Hobi was more pain than pleasure, but Tae was all pleasure. This was gonna be good.

“Good?” Tae asked.

“Amazing,” Kookie replied. Tae started slowly. He was easing himself into it as well. He’d never had his dick in someone’s ass before.

“Harder,” Kookie moaned.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” Tae sped up. If it was even possible, Kookie felt himself get harder.

“More, baby,” Kookie pushed his ass back into Tae’s crotch. Tae grabbed Kookie’s waist & thrust even harder. Kookie was having trouble breathing. Hell, he was having trouble thinking. His whole body was starting to shake.

“As hard as you can. Don’t hold back,” he leaned his head back. Tae grabbed his hair & went full force. He could hear Tae starting to grunt & groan behind him. Tae let go of Kookie’s hair & put his hands on his shoulders for leverage. Kookie started coming before he even realized what was happening. Tae slapped his hand over Kookie’s mouth to keep him quiet. He collapsed on the bed taking Tae with him.

“Can you handle more?” Tae asked.

“Finish yourself,” Kookie panted. Tae took a few long, slow strokes & Kookie felt him shudder inside him. Tae buried his face in Kookie’s back & clawed at his chest. The feeling of Tae’s nails in his skin almost got Kookie aroused again. Almost. Tae extracted his hands from under Kookie & rolled over onto his back.

“That was…”

“Mind blowing,”

“Everything blowing,” Kookie laughed.

“Can I call you ‘baby’?” he looked serious.

“Just not in public,” Tae replied.

“Then I love you baby,” Kookie propped himself up on his elbows & kissed Tae softly.

“I love you more,” Tae smiled.

**August 7, 2018**

**8pm**

**Seoul, Korea**

“I think I broke him in a little rough,” Hobi replied.

“It’s amazing he could sit in that case. Or have you forgotten how you broke me in?” Jimin replied.

They were talking about Kookie. Hobi was going to fulfill his promise of just the two of them.

“Don’t try & tell me you didn’t like it,”

“I couldn’t sit for two days,”

“Only two?” Hobi grinned.

“If you don’t leave soon then I’m going to make you use all those old tricks on me,” Jimin told him.

“You don’t make me do anything,” Hobi replied.

“Depends on how long I act up,” Jimin grinned.

“Go harass Jin or something. I’d like some privacy,”

“Fine. Have fun,” Jimin got up. Hobi slapped his ass as he walked away. Then he got up & went back down to Tae & Kookie’s room.

“Out. We need some one on one time,” he looked at Tae. He got up & left like the room was on fire. Hobi had to keep himself from laughing. Kookie put his phone away & looked up at him.

“No handcuffs?”

“Not this time,” he said. “I might have been a little too harsh with you last time.”

“No...it was fine…” Kookie said. Hobi sat on the bed & gave him a pointed look.

“Never lie to your Dom. I’m here to hurt you, but not injure you. If you want me to stop then there’s something called a safe word,”

“Why can’t I just say stop?”

“Because part of the fun is a little bit of role play. A safe word is a word that makes no sense in context,” he said.

“What’s the safe word?”

“Parsnip,”

“Parsnip?”

“Parsnip. I hear you say that & I’ll stop. You understand?”

“Yes,” Kookie sat there like he was considering his options. Hobi could wait. It had taken months to wear down Jimin. He could wait 5 minutes.

“Okay,”

“Okay?”

“Okay sir,” A grin worthy of The Grinch curled on Hobi’s lips.

“Then let’s start,” He grabbed Kookie’s shirt, pulled him up, & shoved him against the wall. Hobi kissed him passionately with one hand behind Kookie’s neck & the other one hooked in the waistband of his sweats. It took Kookie a second to react, but he kissed Hobi back, putting his hands up his shirt. For all his complaining about not having abs like Kookie or Jimin, he was still pretty solid. He pulled off Hobi’s shirt. Hobi pinned Kookie against the wall with his forearm.

“Not yet, pet,” he breathed. He reached behind Kookie & put his hand down his pants. He gave his ass a good squeeze, released his forearm, & pulled Kookie into him.

“Did I mention I’m an ass man?”

“What does that mean?” Kookie asked.

“Some men like arms, some like abs, some like legs. I like a perfectly toned ass. I haven’t gotten to get my hands sufficiently on yours yet,” he put his mouth next to Kookie’s ear as he slid his other hand down his pants. If Jimin’s was the gold standard, then Kookie’s was a close silver. Like it would be gold if Jimin didn’t exist.

“What do you like?”

“I don’t know…”

“You have to have an idea of what turns you on,”

“I guess...arms? Shoulders?” he ventured. _Tae_.

“Touch mine,” Hobi said. Kookie slowly ran his hands down Hobi’s arms. Hobi could tell he’d lost his virginity recently. He wasn’t just breaking in a new Sub. He was giving sex lessons. He grudgingly let go of Kookie’s ass & put his hands on top of Kookie’s. He placed Kookie’s hands on his shoulders.

“Don’t just pet me. Feel me. If this is something you’re into, you’ll know,” Hobi told him. Kookie started over. Hobi watched him carefully. He didn’t trust himself. Domming ain’t easy.

“Get on the bed,” Hobi sighed. Kookie sat.

“I’m sorry sir,”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” _Half lie._

“We just need to build your confidence.”

“Okay sir,”

“You’re going to fuck me,”

“WHAT?!”

“All my Subs do it at least once,” _Total lie_. “You remember what I did before?”

“Yes sir,”

“Do that,” Hobi took the liberty of putting on a condom as well just in case he had to take over at some point. It had been a long time since he’d been the bottom. Probably when he was learning how to Dom 5 or 6 years ago. Who knows? He might enjoy the role reversal. Or he might wish he’d asked for bamboo shoots under the fingernails.

“Enter slowly. It’s not a race,” he said. He felt Kookie enter him. He was actually bigger than he expected. This could get interesting.

“Now in & out. Use my hips if you need leverage,” he looked over his shoulder.

“Will I hurt you?”

“I can use the safe word, too,” he reassured him. Kookie held onto his hips & began to rock back & forth. Decent start.

“Am I doing it right?” he asked.

“You’re on the right track,” Hobi said. “You can speed up a little.”

“Okay,” He felt more of Kookie’s cock go in & out. It was actually starting to feel good.

“More,” Hobi said. Kookie sped up again. Hobi remembered how aggressive his Dom had been with him. If he was going to breed a Sub who could keep up with him, he was going to need Kookie to play rough. Hobi ground his ass into Kookie’s crotch.

“Harder,”

“Are you sure?”

“Are you sure…?”

“Yes sir,”

“Good pet,” he grunted. Kookie was almost pounding him with full force at this point. Hobi felt himself getting close.

“Remember what I did,” he growled. Kookie reached down & grabbed Hobi’s hair. He pulled his head back & that was all Hobi needed. He bucked & fought as he came. He thought he felt Kookie come, too, but he couldn’t tell. He was too busy focusing on his. Hobi pitched forward & almost didn’t catch himself. Kookie fell backwards & would’ve fallen off the bed if Hobi hadn’t grabbed his wrist. They were both sweaty & panting.

“Thank you sir,” Kookie huffed.

“You’re welcome, pet,” Hobi kissed him.

“Feel better?”

“Yes sir,”

“Just yes is fine after ‘you’re welcome’,” Hobi told him.

“Okay,”

“You’ll learn the rules,” he smiled. He got up & grabbed his clothes.

“I’ll tell Tae he can come back.” Kookie gave him a weak thumbs up.

**9:49pm**

“Outside. Now,” Hobi stuck his head in Yoongi’s door before he’d even finished putting his shirt back on.

“Ummm...k…” Yoongi put down his notebook & followed Hobi out onto the balcony.

“YOU DID WHAT?!”

“Keep your voice down,” Hobi hissed.

“Christ on a pogo stick, Hobi. Do you have any clue how Jimin is going to react when he finds out?”

“Where the hell did you get that saying?”

“The internet. And don’t dodge the question,” Yoongi reached under one of the chairs & pulled out a bottle.

“You have one there?”

“You stash condoms, I stash booze. And I’m classy enough to drink it out of the bottle,” he took a swig for emphasis & held it out to Hobi. He took it & drank.

“I don’t know what to do,”

“You have to tell him before he finds out from Kookie or Tae,”

“Tae wasn’t there,”

“You honestly think Kookie won’t tell him? And Tae couldn’t keep a secret if his life depended on it,” Yoongi took the bottle back. He had a point. There were days he wished he hadn’t taken Tae as a Sub. He was just so goddamn compliant.

“What do I say?”

“I don’t know - Sorry honey I let the Sub you deflowered have his way with me even though I never even considered it with you?”

“He didn’t have his way with me. I was still telling him what to do,” Hobi grabbed the bottle & took another drink.

“You see my point,” 

“I can’t believe I did this. It’s a rookie mistake,”

“It was a mistake period. Do you think he’s going to believe he’s your favorite after this? Do you think he’ll believe a word you say?” Hobi flopped down in the chair & put his head in his hands. Yoongi was right. As always. Jimin was already upset about having to share & this would completely erase any progress they’d made over the past few days.

“I’m an ass,”

“Ya think?”

“I need time to think,” Hobi sighed. “Alone.” 

“Alright. Just don’t do anything else stupid,” Yoongi squeezed his best friend’s shoulder & walked back inside. Hobi leaned back & looked at the Seoul skyline. It was 10pm & still hot. Or maybe he hadn’t cooled off yet. He reflected on the day he met Jimin. It had been about this time of year in 2013. Hobi was 19 & Jimin was 17. Jimin had charmed him almost from the very beginning. He was a little naive, but not completely clueless like Tae. He was talented as all hell. Probably more talented than Hobi. He was a little shy & he was gorgeous. He wasn’t overtly masculine & Hobi found himself staring more than he should have. As they got to know each other, Hobi learned how to push Jimin’s buttons. They were encouraged to play fight for the cameras. It made more interesting viewing. Somehow Hobi always ended up wrestling with Jimin. By 2015, he’d finally worked up the guts to ask Jimin to Sub for him. He’d learned how to Dom before he’d joined BTS, but it was something he figured wasn’t in the cards for him. Something he knew how to do, but probably never would. It took him 6 months to actually do it. In retrospect, he should’ve just asked Jimin out like a normal person would for a normal relationship. He chose this path because it seemed safer. It was a transaction. It was a deal that could be broken with no hard feelings. Except that line had blurred a long time ago. He wasn’t sure where Dom & Sub ended & Hobi & Jimin started. They’d probably been too young. 21 & 19 was really young to have a successful Dom / Sub relationship. Not that 24 & 22 was much better. Now he had Kookie & Tae to consider. He had more experience & might be able to separate Dom & Subs into Hobi, Tae, & Kookie with fewer issues. He’d get it right this time. The lines wouldn’t blur. He wouldn’t hurt someone. Not this time. Hobi took a deep breath, got up, & walked back inside.

**10:15pm**

Jimin stared at him blankly for a second. Then he slapped Hobi across the face. Hobi reached up & rubbed his cheek. It had hurt a hell of a lot more than he expected. It would also probably leave a mark.

“Why Hobi? Why?”

“I told you. I thought he needed a confidence boost,” Hobi replied. Even he didn’t believe him.

“After everything that’s happened between us? After all I’ve let you do to me? Even things I didn’t want to do because I thought it would make you happy? Then you go & do this? Years, Hobi! It’s been years! You’ve had him for 2 weeks. If you wanted to replace me then you could’ve just told me. I may have gone behind your back, but I didn’t do anything like this. I saved you from having to completely break in a second new Sub in as many months. At least he’d gone one round with somebody before you,”

“I made you do things you didn’t want to do?”

“You’re not just my Dom. You’re also my _hyung_. I can’t tell you no. You know that,”

“Yes, you could have,”

“Maybe now, but not then. Not in the beginning,” Jimin replied.

“I’m sorry,” Hobi said.

“For what?”

“All of it,” he sighed.

“I don’t believe you,” Jimin crossed his arms over his chest.

“What do you want me to do, Jiminie? Beg?”

“Don’t call me that,” he snapped. Jimin might as well have slapped Hobi again.

“Get out,” Jimin said.

“This is my room, too,”

“Find somewhere else to sleep tonight. Maybe with one of your other pets,” Jimin practically spat out the last word. In an uncharacteristic show of anger, Hobi threw his arm across the desk & knocked everything off of it. Then he turned around & stormed out, slamming the door behind him. He briefly considered going down to Tae & Kookie’s room. Not to sleep there, but to have someone (or two) to take out his frustrations on. The thought of choking Kookie unconscious sounded vastly appealing. But there were rules. Never Dom when you were angry. That’s when you really could injure your Sub. His Dom had showed him a scar where his Dom had gone too far & not listened to their safe word because he’d been angry. Hobi knew if he actually hurt Kookie or Tae, he’d never forgive himself. Instead he stormed back out onto the balcony. He fished out the bottle that Yoongi had hidden there & uncapped it. He heard the door open.

“Your plan went stunningly well, as you heard,” he said, not bothering to look behind him.

“It could’ve been worse,” Jin said. Hobi turned around.

“Come to lecture me about yelling?”

“No. I came to see if you wanted to talk,” Jin sat down & looked at him.

“Not particularly,” Hobi took a long drink.

“I remember my first fight with Namjoon. I don’t remember what it was about, but I remember how it felt. It felt like someone repeatedly kicked me in the nuts for days. I just felt...bleh. I know he felt the same way. Neither of us would cave on the issue. Finally I decided I was sick of feeling like shit & sleeping on the floor. We talked whatever it was out & most of our disagreements these days don’t get that far,” Jin told him.

“Except we aren’t in a relationship,”

“And that is where you’re fooling yourself. Both of you are,” Jin replied. Hobi took another drink & looked at Jin. This was the second person in his life to point this out. It was getting annoying.

“What am I supposed to do? He’s ready to rip my throat out,”

“First you need to let him calm down. And give him space,”

“So I should get used to the idea of sleeping on the couch?”

“Probably,” Jin said.

“How did you know Namjoon was the one?” Hobi asked.

“I could give you the laundry list of obvious reasons. It was the intangibles. He seemed to get me. Nobody in my life understood me before. Even my family. They got bits & pieces, but not all of me. Joon understood me almost from the very beginning. He understood my frustrations, my quirks, my sense of humor. He GOT me. He cared about me. He cared if I was homesick or tired or felt like I was falling behind. The same things were happening to him. It was like I’d known him all my life after only a few weeks. It never even occurred to me that the person I would spend the rest of my life with was a man,” Jin looked out at the skyline. “But I guess that’s life for you.”

“It never occurred to me that I’d want to spend my life with only one person,” he looked down at the mostly empty bottle in his hands.

“That doesn’t surprise me,” “Should I get rid of Kookie & Tae?”

“Do you think that will solve your problems?”

“I don’t know,” Hobi sighed.

“I think you know what will solve your problems & you don’t want to do it,” Jin told him.

“That is?”

“Tell him you love him,”

**10:40pm**

Jimin stooped over & started picking up everything Hobi had knocked off the desk. Nothing had broken, but there was stuff all over the floor. As he went to pick up the pen cup, a hand with a distinctive silver “S” diamond studded ring handed it to him. Yoongi sat down in front of him.

“Come to tell me to forgive him?” Jimin asked.

“No,” Yoongi said. “I wanted to help clean up my best friend’s mess.”

“I can do it,” Jimin reached up & put the pen cup back on the desk along with a handful of pens.

“That’s not what I was talking about,” Yoongi said, putting some papers back on the desk.

“It’s not your mess,” Jimin replied.

“You didn’t let Kookie fuck you.”

“Nor would I,” Yoongi smiled. “I was the one who told him to tell you the truth.”

“Thank you,” Jimin hugged his knees to his chest.

“Doesn’t look like it turned out that great,” Yoongi looked around at the debris on the floor.

“Better I hear it from him,” Jimin shrugged. “I just can’t believe he did that. After all the things I’ve done for him. All the things I let him do to me.”

“Did he hurt you? Like actually hurt you?” Yoongi asked. Jimin shook his head. “What happened?”

“It doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago,”

“It matters if it upset you,” Yoongi told him. Jimin stared at the floor for a minute, then started crying.

“Hey, it’s okay. Tell me what happened,” Yoongi got up & sat next to him. Jimin leaned over & cried into Yoongi’s shoulder.

“It was when we first started. I’d never had sex before. At all. I hadn’t told him that. I don’t know if he assumed that I had or because I agreed to Sub that I had more experience than I did. He wanted to use a mask. I didn’t want to. I don’t like things covering my face. I couldn’t tell him no. He’s my Dom. He’s also my hyung. I let him do it. After about 2 minutes, I panicked. He had to take it off, we had to stop completely. I was so embarrassed. It took me a week to even work up the courage to try anything again. He doesn’t remember it that way. I don’t let him remember it that way. He only remembers the second time,” he wiped his eyes. Yoongi hugged him.

“Do you even like being a Sub?”

“Now I do. At first I didn’t. I didn’t know what to expect. I’m jealous of Tae & Kookie because they have it so much easier. Hobi knows what he’s doing now. They have me. I didn’t have anyone. I didn’t know what was normal & what wasn’t. Now it’s second nature,”

“Have you ever told Hobi any of this?” Jimin shook his head again.

“He wouldn’t listen,”

“Now this is where I have the advantage. He would listen. He lost his temper tonight, but I know he’s willing to listen. I might have to duct tape his mouth shut to keep him from interrupting you, but I know for a fact he cares what you think,” Yoongi looked at him.

“I don’t want to talk to him,”

“No one is making you. Take your time. As the rational one of him & me, I’m saying don’t do or say anything until you’re ready. Okay?”

“Thanks Yoongi,” Jimin hugged him.

“What are best friends for if not to clean up after their asshole other halves?” he smiled. “I’ll help you pick this up so at least you won’t step on a paperclip in the middle of the night.”

“Can you tell Hobi something for me?”

“I will deliver any message verbatim, though I do draw the line at slapping him,” Yoongi replied.

“Tell him I love him,”

**August 9, 2018**

**11pm**

**Seoul, Korea**

Hobi felt someone poke his shoulder. He popped open an eye & saw Kookie standing over him.

“What?” he grumbled.

“Why did you lie to me?”

“About what?”

“About...what you let your Subs do to you,” he said. His tone sounded off.

“Do you want an apology? I’m already sleeping on this damn couch because of it,” Hobi snapped. He never did well with being woken up & sleeping on the couch was making his back stiff. There was only one part of his anatomy that he wanted to be stiff with any regularity.

“You said we shouldn’t lie to each other,” Kookie said.

“I said you shouldn’t lie to me,” Hobi corrected as he sat up.

“Why do you get to lie to me?”

“Does it really matter? You don’t lie to me because if you do, I could hurt you. Actually legitimately hurt you. You lie to me & you end up with scars. Real ones,” he said.

“Why couldn’t you have told me the truth?”

“Why? Would it have changed anything?”

“I wouldn’t have done it,”

“Even if I told you to?” Hobi crossed his arms. Kookie didn’t reply.

“Go away & let me go back to sleep. I don’t want to keep beating this particular dead horse,”

“So I’m not allowed to have feelings about this?”

Not again. Hobi rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. Yoongi’s deserted island fantasy was sounding more & more appealing by the second. 

"Fine. Let’s take this outside,” he sighed. Goddamn needy Subs. Kookie led as they went out onto the balcony.

“You wanted to talk so talk,” Hobi gestured like he was opening a door.

“You didn’t just lie to me. You lied to Jimin. I’m sure you’ve lied to Tae,” Kookie started.

“I lie to everybody,” Hobi said.

“You don’t lie to Yoongi,”

“How do you know?”

“Because he knows everything about you. He knows everything about us,” Kookie gestured between them.

“There is no us, Kookie. Don’t make it sound like this is anything more than a Dom / Sub relationship,” Hobi replied.

“So you can do to me what you did to Jimin?” Hobi was getting sick of feeling like his Subs were slapping him around. He clenched his fist. _Don’t do it. You’ll hurt him. You’ll really hurt him._

“Go ahead Hobi- _hyung_. You know you want to. Do it,” Kookie looked down at Hobi’s fist.

“Don’t call me that,”

“Why? Only your favorite can call you that? Do you even know who your favorite is anymore?” Hobi grabbed Kookie around the throat & shoved him against the wall. He let go & pinned him across the shoulders with his forearm.

“Do not talk to me like that. Ever,”

“Don’t lie to me,” Kookie said.

“You don’t make the rules around here,”

“You don’t even know what the rules are. You just like to push us around,”

“You’re going to tell me that you don’t like being pushed around? You asked me not the other way around,” Hobi said staring Kookie down. Kookie wasn’t even struggling. He was stronger than Hobi & could’ve easily gotten loose if he’d wanted to. Hobi felt Kookie’s pulse under his arm. He might have been scared. Or maybe he was turned on.

“Figured me out yet?” Kookie smiled.

“You little shit,” Hobi let go of him.

“Don’t try to tell me you didn’t enjoy it for at least a second,” Kookie leaned over & put his lips to Hobi’s ear. He put one hand up Hobi’s shirt.

“I know what you want,”

“What’s that?”

“To punish me for what happened. Put your hands around my neck & squeeze. Hit me. Spank me. Make me blow you. The handcuffs won’t be enough for you. Not this time. Not with how you feel right now,” Kookie put his other hand up Hobi’s shirt & pulled it off. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Hobi felt himself getting hard. He slid a hand up Kookie’s chest & wrapped it around his throat.

“You’re not wrong,” he leaned his face into Kookie’s so their lips were almost touching.

“I told you. Do it. Do it all. Make yourself feel better,” Kookie breathed.

“Get inside,”

“Yes sir,”

Hobi picked up his shirt & led Kookie back inside. Hobi felt a pinch of guilt as he walked by the closed door of his & Jimin’s room. He wondered if Jimin missed sharing a bed with him as much as he missed sharing a bed with Jimin. It had only been 2 nights & he was truly realizing how much he cared about Jimin. Which made him all the more inclined to punish Kookie. A lot. For something that was wholly his fault.

“Can you give us some time, Tae?” Kookie said when they got back to his room.

“Sure,” Tae yawned.

“It might be a while,” Kookie said.

“I’ll be on the couch,” Tae replied.

“Thanks love,” Kookie kissed him as he left.

“Anything for you, baby,” _I really can’t leave them alone. Good god_.

“What?” Kookie shrugged at Hobi.

“I’ll deal with that later,” Hobi sighed.

“Just one more thing to hit me over,” Kookie kissed him. “Please don’t hold back.”

“How do I know you aren’t lying?” Hobi asked. Kookie pulled up his shirt & showed Hobi scratch marks on his chest. “I really liked it when Tae did that to me a few days ago. He was on top,” Kookie told him. Kookie was turning out to be kinky as fuck. And he looked so innocent. Hobi pulled Kookie’s shirt off. He went over to the closet & pulled out a belt.

“What’s that for sir?”

“You’ll see,” Hobi snapped the belt to test its strength. “Show me that almost perfect ass of yours.”

“Almost perfect?”

“Jimin’s is better,” Hobi came up behind Kookie & looped the belt around his neck. He pulled the end through the buckle like he was putting it around Kookie’s waist. Except it was around his neck.

“Ass. Now,”

“Yes sir,” Hobi held on to the end of the belt like a leash as Kookie got out of his pajama pants. He pushed Kookie over so his upper body was on the bed, but he was still standing on the floor. Almost perfect ass in perfect swinging distance. Hobi smacked him as hard as he could. Kookie moaned. Music to Hobi’s ears. He hit him again. He was careful to not tighten the belt too much. He wouldn’t be any fun passed out. When he hit him a third time, Kookie swayed his lower back to angle his ass up toward Hobi’s hand.

“You want more?” Hobi leaned over, not letting go of the belt.

“Yes sir,” Kookie said.

“No,” Hobi gave the belt a quick jerk. “Get up.” Kookie stood back up & Hobi pulled his arms behind him.

“Are you going to fight me?”

“No sir,”

“Why not?” 

"Because I deserve to be punished sir,”

“Good pet,” he released his arms. “Sit.” Kookie sat & looked up at him. He really did look deceptively innocent. The belt had been digging into his neck & starting to leave marks.

“What have you been doing with Taehyung?”

“You want details?”

“Don’t leave out a single gasp,”

“I let him fuck me. I blow him almost every night. Sometimes twice. He thinks we’re equals. He’s wrong,”

“Why?”

“He doesn’t do anything without me telling him. He doesn’t come if I don’t tell him to,” Kookie answered leaning back & looking as smug as possible with a belt around his neck. “Sir.”

“Now I need to punish you twice. You’ve caused problems with both of my other Subs now,”

“What if I want to be the only one?”

“What if I won’t let you?”

“Then you’ll be choking me a lot,”

“You say that like you don’t enjoy it,” Hobi straddled him & pushed him back. He pinned him down & put his face next to Kookie’s.

“I hate to burst your kinky little bubble, but you’ll always be second place. Doesn’t mean you aren’t still fun to play with, though,”

“Then do to me what you can’t do to him. What you won’t,” Kookie hissed. “I know you hold back with him. I’m not stupid. You don’t have to do that with me. You wanted a Sub who could keep up with you. Be careful what you wish for.” Hobi knew Kookie was right. There was a line, several lines, he refused to cross with Jimin. It didn’t mean the desire wasn’t there. He simply cared about Jimin more than he cared about getting off.

“I never should’ve let you fuck me,” Hobi picked his head up.

“Too late,” Kookie looked up at him. Hobi let go of the belt & kissed him. They clawed at each other, Kookie scratching Hobi’s shoulder. Hobi bit Kookie’s lower lip. Not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to make a point. Kookie arched his back. Hobi kissed his way down to Kookie’s shoulder then bit him again. Harder this time. Kookie wrapped his fingers in Hobi’s hair & pulled. He wasn’t a biter, but he liked being bitten. Good to know.

“Get up against the wall,” he told Kookie. Hobi got off him & Kookie sat with his back against the wall, the belt still dangling around his neck. Hobi kissed his way down Kookie’s chest toward his throbbing cock.

“I thought I was supposed to blow you, sir,” Kookie looked down at him.

“Part of being a Dom is torturing your Subs. And I’ve been giving blow jobs since before you even knew what one was,” Hobi finally felt all powerful. _Tae doesn’t come without your permission? Watch_ _this_. Hobi started at the base & dragged his tongue up as slowly as he could. Kookie started to squirm.

“You get the same rules as Tae. You move, I stop,” he said when he got to the tip.

“Yes sir,” Kookie breathed.

“Good pet,” Hobi rested his forearms on Kookie’s thighs. He started again. When he got to the tip, he closed his lips & made a circle around the head with his tongue. Kookie clenched his jaw in an effort to not move. Hobi went halfway down & used Jimin’s trick of rolling your tongue. Kookie started breathing harder. Hobi looped his tongue around Kookie’s cock again.

“Fuck, Hobi. Just finish me,” Hobi licked him again.

“Please,” Hobi shook his head. Kookie put his hand on the back of Hobi’s head & pushed it all the way down on his cock. Hobi reached up & took Kookie’s hand off. He sat up.

“You moved,” he said.

“No I didn’t!” Kookie protested.

“Using your hands isn’t moving?”

“Shit,”

Hobi grinned.

“One more. If you move again, no more tries,” he said.

“Okay,” Kookie breathed.

“Okay…?”

“Okay sir,” he said.

“Good pet,” Hobi kissed him & put his forearms back on Kookie’s thighs.

“Remember, don't move.” Kookie nodded. Hobi took all of Kookie in his mouth & tickled the base with the tip of his tongue. Kookie whimpered. Hobi decided that he’d tortured him enough. He quickly pulled back & sucked lightly on the head. That sent Kookie over the edge. Right as he started coming, Hobi reached up & grabbed the end of the belt. He pulled on it as Kookie thrust into his mouth & almost down his throat. When Kookie settled down, Hobi let go of the belt. Hobi sat up. Kookie ran a shaking hand through his hair. Then he started laughing.

“God damn you’re good,”

“I told you I was,” Hobi gave a little shrug.

“I need to piss you off more often,” Kookie smiled.

**August 10, 2018**

**3:05pm**

**Seoul, Korea**

“What do you want?” Jimin glared at Kookie when he opened the door. He’d probably looked at cockroaches with more charity.

“I wanted to make a suggestion,” Kookie said.

“You & the power of suggestion are not 2 things I’m inclined to deal with,”

“Will you give me 2 minutes?” Jimin ground his teeth as he thought.

“One minute thirty seconds,” he opened the door enough to let Kookie in.

“We’re the same,” Kookie said.

“We are NOT the same,” Jimin bristled. 

"We’re both Subs. We’re both competing for the favorite. Except right now you’ve rejected him & that leaves the door open for me,” Kookie leaned against the wall.

“I liked you better when you had no idea what it meant to Sub,” Jimin crossed his arms.

“And I appreciate your help. I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful for what you did for me. I think if Hobi had been the one to take my virginity, we’d be having a very different conversation right now,”

“Or not at all,” Jimin replied. “Do you have a point?”

“You can let me do what I’m good at & you can do what you’re good at. A Sub for every occasion,” he said.

“And what are our particular skill sets?”

“I like pain. I like letting him slap me around. He won’t cross that line with you. You’ve got him wrapped around your finger. You’re not a Sub anymore, Jimin. You’re his boyfriend. He just orders you around in the bedroom,” Kookie told him.

“You’ve got a lot of balls coming in here & talking to me like that,”

“Why? Because you’re my _hyung_? You’re the favorite? He won’t let me call him Hobi- _hyung_. That’s strictly your territory. Doesn’t that tell you something?” Kookie walked over & got in Jimin’s face. Jimin & Yoongi were the shortest & slightest. Kookie had gotten off on trying to intimidate Jimin from the second he outgrew him. Jimin hadn’t backed down yet.

“It tells me that I still outrank you. I always will,” Jimin replied narrowing his eyes. Without warning, Kookie kissed Jimin. Jimin jumped, but didn’t pull away. _Ah, revenge sex_.

“What do you want from me, Kookie?” he asked.

“An orgasm?”

“I promised Hobi I wouldn’t go behind his back again,” Jimin replied.

“If he finds out, I’ll tell him that I Roofied you or something. I don’t plan on saying anything, though,”

“Aren’t you & Tae together?” “I’m lowkey his Dom & he’s lowkey my Sub. He’ll believe anything I tell him. You know how gullible he is,” Kookie replied trailing a finger down the front of Jimin’s neck. God, how he wished he could put his hands around that beautiful throat & squeeze. To leave marks to show Hobi that his favorite wasn’t safe without him. Hobi may have had lines. Kookie didn’t.

“I know that look,” Jimin said, snapping Kookie back to the moment.

“What look?”

“Hobi gets it when he’s deciding what to do to me. I didn’t start Subbing yesterday,” Kookie tried to hide a blush.

“I won’t let you Dom me, Jungkook. No matter how badly you want to,”

“I won’t Dom you,” Kookie pulled Jimin closer.

“You won’t be able to stop yourself,”

“I can,”

“No, you can’t. You’re not a Sub, Kookie. You’re an untrained Dom with a violent streak. You’ll get carried away & hurt me whether you mean to or not. Are you really willing to risk that?” Jimin cocked his head to one side & gave Kookie a pointed look. Kookie still hadn’t let go of him.

“Then teach me,”

“A Dom trains a Dom, not a Sub. You said yourself that you like being slapped around. I can’t help you with that. If you want to learn how to Dom, then you need to tell Hobi & he’ll teach you,” Jimin carefully extracted himself from Kookie’s arms.

“Please Jimin? I won’t hurt you,” Kookie asked. Jimin turned around & looked at him. He’d known Kookie since he was a kid. He knew every tell. Kookie was telling the truth. He wanted Jimin to teach him & he wasn’t going to give up until he got his way. On some level, Kookie would always care about Jimin’s feelings. He’d been so patient & kind with him when he was a fumbling, inexperienced mess. He’d never made fun of him or made him feel bad about himself. Kookie’s desire to inflict pain for his own pleasure may have been in the front of his mind (and the middle & most of the back), but there was a tiny corner reserved for his concern for Jimin’s health & safety. Hopefully it wouldn’t get lost in all the noise. Jimin sighed.

“Take off your clothes,”

Kookie sat on the bed & watched Jimin unbutton his shirt. He understood why Hobi was attracted to him. His shoulder muscles rippled under his skin as he put the shirt back on the hanger. Jimin looked over his shoulder at Kookie.

“See something you like?”

“A lot,” Kookie smiled. Jimin smiled back. The smile that stopped a million hearts. Kookie took a deep breath. I can’t hurt him. I won’t. Jimin stood in front of Kookie & ran his hand through Kookie’s hair.

“What do I say that will make you stop?” he asked.

“Safe word…?”

“Correct,”

“Parsnip?”

“That’s Hobi’s. You’ll need one of your own,”

“How do I pick?” Jimin shrugged.

“I have no idea how Hobi picked his. I guess whatever makes sense to you. Or doesn’t as the case may be,” he said.

“When do you stop if I use the safe word?”

“Immediately,”

“Very good,” Kookie reached up & put his arms on Jimin’s shoulders.

“Now what?”

“We start,” Jimin leaned down & kissed him. Kookie felt a shot of electricity go down his spine. Hobi was a stupid, selfish bastard. He didn’t deserve Jimin. Jimin was too good for him. Kookie would be a good Dom to him. He wouldn’t take on another Sub without asking. Kookie thought about what he’d said to Jimin about the door being opened for him to take the role of the favorite. A door had been opened, but it was to steal Jimin from Hobi. _Unless you hurt him. Then what?_ Kookie pulled Jimin down onto the bed. He pinned Jimin’s arms over his head as he kissed him harder. He ran his other hand down his chest. Hobi had been right about one thing. Kookie would never measure up to Jimin. No one could.

“You have an unfair advantage over me,” Kookie said.

“What’s that?” Jimin asked. Kookie ran his hand under Jimin’s back & felt his ass. Hobi had been right about that, too. “You’re perfect. So. Fucking. Perfect,” he punctuated the last 3 words with a kiss on either side of his neck & the space between his collarbones.

“If I’m so perfect, why can’t anyone stay with me?”

“We can’t keep up,” Kookie got on top of him. He separated Jimin’s wrists & held each one down under each of his hands. He stared down at him.

“What do I do now?” he asked.

“What do you want to do?” _Choke you_.

“What can I do to you that he doesn’t? What can I give you that he can’t?” _Bite marks_.

Jimin looked up at him. Kookie could tell he was carefully considering what he was going to say. Was it because he didn’t want to say something bad about Hobi? Or was he about to ask for something he’d never said out loud before?

“He never let me fight him. He never wanted a challenge. Not from me,” he said finally. _Oh no_.

“I can’t do that. I don’t even have a safe word. I’ll hurt you. I can’t hurt you. I want to. I mean, not like actually want to. You know what I mean,”

“It’s a test. I’m not going to let these tendencies get any worse. I want to nip this in the bud. You need to learn your limits,” he sounded disturbingly confident. Like he’d decided he was done dealing with bullshit. He was responsible for Kookie & he wasn’t going to let him have a Sub when he couldn’t control himself.

“What’s my safe word?”

“That’s up to you,” Kookie thought for a second.

“Pizza,”

“Pizza,” Jimin repeated. Kookie nodded. Then Jimin tried to pull one of his hands out from under Kookie’s grip. Kookie pushed down harder. Jimin rocked his hips to one side to try & flip Kookie over. Kookie pushed harder on Jimin’s wrists & leaned more into his hips. Jimin curled his fingers around Kookie’s hands & dug his nails in. Kookie pulled back his hands in surprise. With his hands free, Jimin grabbed Kookie’s waist. He bent his knees & turned them onto their sides. Kookie got his bearings back & pushed Jimin on his back again. He put his forearm across Jimin’s upper chest & leaned on him. He didn’t put a lot of weight on him. Jimin’s eyes were full of fire & spite. This was so hot. He rolled on top of Jimin, forcing his arms above his head again. He started slowly kissing down his jaw over to his mouth.  
“You haven’t hurt me so far,” Jimin told him as he licked Kookie’s lower lip. _Give it time_.

“Still want to fight me?”

“Still want me to put up a fight?”

“Yes,” Jimin arched his back to try & get his arms loose. Kookie was too heavy, so he barely moved. Kookie laughed. Jimin wrapped his legs around Kookie’s at the same time he picked his head up to kiss him. He’d managed to trick him again & was able to move Kookie enough to get out from under him. He got his wrists out of Kookie’s grip. Kookie hooked his arm around Jimin’s neck & pulled him up to his knees. They were both on their knees. Kookie had Jimin’s back pressed against his front & was holding him in a modified headlock. Jimin was breathing heavily from the effort of getting loose.

“Safe word?” Kookie asked.

“No,” Jimin replied. Kookie tightened his grip. Jimin reached behind him & started scratching at Kookie’s thighs. It felt so good.

“Safe word?” Jimin shook his head. He dug his nails into Kookie’s thighs. _Let up, you idiot. You’re going to make him pass out_. Kookie held his grip.

“One more time. Safe word?” Jimin shook his head again. _LET GO_.

Kookie released him. Jimin fell forward gasping for air. “

Good job,” Jimin coughed.

“Good job? I was choking you!”

“You asked me for the safe word & I told you no. You gave me an out & I didn’t take it,” he sat down, rubbing his neck. It probably wouldn’t leave a mark. Probably. Kookie noticed his hands were shaking. He’d passed the test. This time.

“Can we have sex now?”

“Yes, yes we can,” Jimin replied, reaching over & starting to massage Kookie’s dick. He felt his entire body relax.

“You can take me,” he said.

“You’re not only at risk of hurting someone during foreplay. You have to take me,” Jimin told him. Kookie put a shaky hand on Jimin’s face.

“I’m still a threat?”

“You’re always a threat, Kookie. You can’t control what turns you on, but you can control whether or not you hurt people in the process. Not choking me until I pass out once isn’t cured. Not even close,” Jimin sat in Kookie’s lap just like he’d done the first time. “Tell me what turns you on. Tell me what you want to do to me. Tell me what makes you dangerous.”

“I want to put my hands around your throat & squeeze. I want bite you. I want to scratch you. I want to pound you so hard that you can’t sit. I want to spank you before I pound you. I want to leave marks. I want to show the world you’re mine. I want you to bite me. I want you to scratch me. I want you to choke me. I want you to blow me & I’ll hold your neck down while I come in your mouth. I want to do so, so much to that beautiful neck of yours,” Kookie was completely hard & practically drooling by the time he was done.

“And your neck fetish is the problem,” Jimin took one of Kookie’s hands & placed his fingers loosely around his throat. “Now don’t move.”

One of Kookie’s fingers twitched. All he wanted to do was tighten his grip. All he had to do was close his fingers. He wouldn’t squeeze that hard. Just enough. Just enough to feel good. Not enough to hurt him. Another finger twitched. He felt Jimin’s skin warm under his hand. His flawless skin. He could feel his pulse. It was even & steady. Jimin wasn’t scared of him. He trusted him to not do it. Don’t trust me. Please don’t trust me.

“There you go. You’ve got this,” Jimin encouraged. He adjusted himself & slid down onto Kookie’s cock. They were facing each other, legs wrapped around each other, with Kookie’s hand placed precariously over Jimin’s throat. Jimin put his arms around Kookie’s shoulders & started to grind against him.

“Keep your hand there,” he said. Kookie bit his lip. One finger. He could press in one finger. That would be okay.

“Look at me, Kookie,” Jimin instructed. Kookie looked into Jimin’s eyes. They weren’t fiery anymore. They were steady. Intense. Kookie felt like Jimin was staring into Kookie’s core & willing him to not move.

“Don’t think about your hand. Think about what I’m doing to your crotch,” Jimin started to push down harder & more intensely. Jimin was good. He was barely moving & Kookie felt it all the way to the base of his skull. What will happen when I come? I’ll choke him. I know it.

“Breathe,” Jimin lightly brushed his fingers against the side of Kookie’s face. “You can do this.” Kookie swallowed hard & nodded. He felt himself getting closer. His hand was still sitting around Jimin’s throat.

“I’m scared,” Kookie breathed.

“Even if you fail, I forgive you,” Jimin said. That broke something in Kookie. He dropped his hand & grabbed Jimin into a bear hug. Then he started sobbing.

“Why?”

“You never wanted to hurt me & you tried your best not to. That’s why I’d forgive you,” he replied.

“This is embarrassing,”

“What is?”

“Crying during sex,”

“I won’t tell anyone. If they find out, I’ll claim I Roofied you,” he smiled. Kookie gave a little laugh. Jimin kissed the side of his head.

“Pizza,” Kookie said quietly.

“Of course,” Jimin replied. He slid off Kookie & lied him down. Jimin got behind him & wrapped his arm around Kookie’s waist. He petted Kookie’s hair with his other hand.

“It’ll be okay. You’ll learn,” he nuzzled the back of Kookie’s head.

“I want to hurt you,”

“I know,”

“I can’t,”

“No, you can’t,”

“I don’t know what to do,” Kookie held on to Jimin’s arm tighter.

“Learn when it’s appropriate to let those desires out & when it isn’t. You can’t hurt your Sub, Kookie. A Dom / Sub relationship is just as much about trust as any relationship. I trust my Dom to hurt me, but not injure me. He trusts me to tell him when he’s going too far. If you hurt your Sub, they won’t trust you. You can’t enjoy a relationship where your Sub is waiting for the next time you’ll hurt them. Hobi & I were probably too young to start when we did. We had a few missteps, but he never genuinely injured me. I could trust him with that much. If you need to Sub with someone else to get that out, then so be it. There are no rules saying you can only be one or the other,” Jimin explained.

“How long will you help me?”

“Until I’m confident that you won’t hurt a Sub,”

“How long is that?”

“I don’t know,”

“I’m sorry,”

“For what?”

“Taking Hobi away from you,”

“It’ll all work out. These things always do,” Jimin gave Kookie a little squeeze. “Go to sleep for a little while. It’ll make you feel better.”

“Okay,”

Jimin lied there holding Kookie for hours. It was going to be a long, long road. He was determined to make it work. He had no choice.

**August 12, 2018**

**7pm**

**Seoul, Korea**

They’d put the choice of the final song to an online poll. It was a bunch of their older stuff that hadn’t been in regular rotation for a while. Blood, Sweat, & Tears won by a landslide.

 _Horny bitches_ Yoongi thought.

The venue wasn’t huge since it was televised & they were only performing 5 songs. Several other groups would also be appearing. Whatever charity had organized this had made a fortune. They had one costume change during the show. Their first three songs would be their standard uniform of tees & ripped jeans. Their second costumes involved…

Scarves. Short ones. That looked like chokers. _Oh no_.

Jimin’s heart dropped in his stomach. They might as well have let an alcoholic loose in a liquor store unattended. Forget putting them on. Kookie would start getting all hot & bothered at the very idea of seeing them around someone else’s neck.

“Who’s wearing these?” Jimin asked.

“You, Taehyung, & Jungkook,” the wardrobe master replied.

 _Fuck a duck_.

“Are they absolutely necessary? Won’t the costumes look just fine without them?”

“They’re part of the costume,” he said flatly.

“I know, but they’re...the fabric irritates my skin,”

“It’s the same as the shirts,” Jimin wasn’t going to win this fight. He needed a new plan. Maybe he could hide them. He had to do something. He had three songs & about 30 minutes to think.

“You okay?” Namjoon asked, seeing Jimin looking off into middle distance.

“I’m fine. Just refreshing the choreography for Blood in my head,” he said.

_Oh. My. God. No._

There was part of the choreography where Yoongi & Hobi put their hands on Tae’s neck. Directly in Kookie’s line of sight. He wasn’t completely sure what the status of Kookie’s relationship with Tae was, but seeing him fake choked by his current Dom might make him come right then & there. If it didn’t, then he’d be dying to attack someone’s neck like a crazed vampire later. This was not good. In fact, it was an unqualified disaster. Tae came out of the dressing area in their second half costumes. Complete with the choker.

“Take that off,” Jimin hissed.

“What? Why?”

“Just do it. Please,”

“Okay…” Tae took off the choker. Jimin wasn’t going to put his on. Now he had to find Kookie & dump a bucket of ice water on him. He found him admiring himself in the mirror.

“Where’s your choker?” Kookie asked, looking almost disappointed.

“I’m not wearing it,” Jimin replied. “Neither is Tae.”

“Why would you ruin my fun?”

“I’m not ruining anything. I’m protecting all three of us,” he said. “Come on. We’re on soon.” Jimin went to touch Kookie’s shoulder to turn him around & Kookie grabbed Jimin by the shirt, shoving him into the back wall. He pinned him there with his body & one of his hands right next to Jimin’s head.

“What if I took you right now?”

“You can’t because we have to be somewhere,” Jimin kept his voice even. Kookie’s breath was hot on his face. His pulse was racing. He felt a bulge in his pants against his leg.

“I can be quick,”

“Stop,”

“That’s not the safe word,”

“You’re not my Dom & I’m not your Sub. Right now I’m your _hyung_ & you listen to me when I tell you to stop,” Jimin reached up at lightning speed & undid the choker. After years of having to do & undo pants quickly, it was hardly a challenge. He lobbed it across the room.

“Remember what I told you about being unpredictable & dangerous? What do you think you’re doing right now?”

“Later,” Kookie breathed.

“No. Not when you’re this wild,” Jimin didn’t even flinch.

“What’s going on?” Hobi walked in.

“Nothing,” Jimin said, still staring at Kookie. “Your Sub has forgotten his place.”

“Get off him,” Hobi snapped at Kookie. Kookie waited a few seconds. “Now.”

“Yes sir,” Kookie let go of Jimin.

“We’re on in 5 minutes,” Hobi said. Kookie picked up the choker & left. Hobi looked over at Jimin.

“Did he hurt you?”

“I’m fine,” he replied.

“You sure?”

“Positive,”

“I’ll take care of him later,” Hobi reached to touch Jimin’s arm. Jimin pulled his arm away. Hobi tried not to look hurt.

“He’s going to be a handful,”

“I can handle him. Don’t worry,”

“It’s not you I’m worried about,” Jimin looked in the direction Kookie had gone. _And it’s only going to get worse_.

“We’re almost on,” Hobi said. _Say something. Say anything. He’s right here, you idiot_.

“Let’s go,” Jimin walked past him before he could formulate a single word. _Smooth. Real smooth_.

As Jimin took his place in the center of the opening formation, he prayed to whatever god that was listening that they’d make it through this. They still had one song to do after this (Fake Love), too. He was reasonably confident that Kookie wouldn’t lose his cool on stage, but he had no idea what would happen the second they got off. As the music started, he shut off that part of his brain. He had a job to do. He watched Kookie out of the corner of his eye as Yoongi & Hobi put their hands on Tae’s throat. Kookie held still about a second too long. _Shit._ To the untrained eye, nothing looked out of place. To Jimin’s eye, the train had gone completely off the rails. Make it through the next 8 minutes. Then we can stop this. The lights went out 8 minutes later & they ran off stage.

Jimin had to weigh his options. If he approached Kookie, he risked being the object of his pent up sexual frustrations. If he didn’t, someone else who had no idea what was going on might get it. _You’ve survived worse_. Jimin waited until they were milling around waiting to be picked up & go home.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“They were choking him,” Kookie replied not looking at Jimin.

“I forgot that was in there,”

“I wanted it to be me,”

“I know,”

“I have to get it out,”

“Hobi said he’ll Dom you later,” Jimin told him.

“I don’t want to be Dommed,” he looked at Jimin.

“No, Kookie. You can’t control yourself. You know that. Let Hobi get it out of your system,” he replied. Kookie snapped out his hand & grabbed Jimin by the throat. He pushed him into the wall & held him there. Jimin clawed at Kookie’s wrist to get him to let go. Kookie didn’t budge. Jimin was starting to have trouble breathing. He kicked the wall to make enough noise & attract attention. Hobi & Tae came over to see what the noise was. When they saw Kookie pinning Jimin against the wall, they ran over & pulled Kookie off of him. Jimin doubled over coughing & gasping.

“What the hell was that?!” Hobi demanded.

“I couldn’t...stop myself,” Kookie looked at Jimin who still had his hands on his knees.

“I told you,” Jimin coughed. They stared at each other. By that point, the other 3 had come over.

“I feel like this is an interesting story,” Yoongi said. Hobi & Tae hadn’t let go of Kookie. Jimin finally straightened up.

“Trust me, it’s better if you don’t know,” he said.

“Let’s just go home,” Jin said. They all nodded in agreement.

**10:38pm**

“So he was choking Jimin?” Yoongi had cracked open the window in their room & was sitting on the windowsill smoking out the window. He’d invited Hobi to stay in his room since they couldn’t have their best dancer screwing up his back from sleeping on the couch.

“I caught him with him pinned to a wall earlier,” Hobi said. “Jimin didn’t seem overly inclined for my help.”

“You must have really screwed the pooch if he didn’t want your help getting way from Kookie,” Yoongi tapped some ash off the end of his cigarette. Hobi stretched out on his bed.

“I told him that I’d take care of Kookie when we got back & I still found Kookie choking him. I think I created a monster,” he sighed.

“I hardly think sticking it in your ass once turned him into a monster. Maybe it just gave him permission to behave that way, as it were,” Yoongi stamped out his cigarette, picked up his drink, & sat on his own bed.

“You think our Golden Maknae has always had a kinky streak?”

Yoongi shrugged.

“Were you always into Domming people?”

“I don’t remember what I was like before. I don’t know if I’ve ever had normal sex,” he replied. “I know what I’m into.”

“Jimin?” Yoongi winked.

“Shut up,”

“Where is the lie?”

Hobi glared at him.

“I feel like I need to get Kookie back in line, but if he fights me, I’ll lose,”

“I think all of you need to sit down with your clothes on & figure out what the hell is going on. And keep your clothes on for the duration of the conversation,” Yoongi took a sip of his drink.

“That might be a bit much to ask given Jimin only spoke to me because he had no choice,” Hobi held out his glass & Yoongi filled it.

“You’re not as smart as me, but you’re reasonably intelligent. You’ll figure something out,”

“Let me know if you come up with any brilliant ideas,”

“Of course,”

**11:15pm**

Jimin examined his neck in the mirror. He’d have bruises in a day or so. It wouldn’t be the first time he had bruises on his neck. It would be the first time they were hand shaped, though. Better him than someone else. What would it have done to Tae? Or even Hobi? He knew Kookie hadn’t meant to do it. He also knew he couldn’t let him get away with it. He’d agreed to train him even though Hobi really should’ve been the one doing it. Jimin knew something that would have more of an impact on Kookie than any of Hobi’s collars, handcuffs, or belts. Jimin’s words. He steeled himself & went down the hall to Kookie & Tae’s room. He knocked softly on their door.

“Come in,” he heard Tae. Kookie was sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. Tae was curled up next to him hugging him.

“Jimin’s here,” Tae said, poking his face in Kookie’s elbow.

“No,” Kookie sniffed.

“We need to talk,” Jimin said.

“He hasn’t stopped crying since we got home,” Tae said. They’d been home for several hours. Jimin nodded.

“If you can’t talk, then listen,”

“Do I need to leave?” Tae asked.

“You can stay. He needs you,” Jimin said. Jimin pulled over Tae’s desk chair & sat across from them. “

You hurt me tonight. You hurt me in public. You hurt me because you couldn’t control yourself. I know, deep down, you didn’t mean to. This isn’t like before, though. I can’t forgive you instantly. I didn’t put your hand around my neck. I didn’t give you an out. You grabbed me. You left marks. You didn’t let go when you knew you were hurting me. Someone had to pull you off me before you choked me to the point of passing out. I can’t let that slide. Neither should you. Remember the feeling you had when you realized what you did. Hang onto that. It’ll help you. It doesn’t feel good. It’s painful, but it’s powerful. Now you know what it feels like to hurt someone you care about. I hope you never experience that feeling again,” He could hear Kookie sniffling into his hands. Tae was rubbing his shoulders.

“It’ll be okay, baby. Everything will be okay,” he said supportively. Jimin smiled.

“If I hurt you, I don’t know what I’d do…” Kookie wiped his eyes.

“That’s why I’m not letting you do anything until I feel like you can control yourself,” Jimin said. “If you don’t mind, Tae.”

“No, I don’t mind,” he kissed Kookie’s ear.

“I’ll take good care of him,” Jimin told him.

“No. No, please,” Kookie grabbed onto Tae when he realized what was going on.

“You said it yourself, you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if you hurt me,” Tae hugged him back. “I still love you.”

“I love you, too,” Kookie sobbed into Tae’s chest. Jimin fought back tears. This is what he & Hobi should’ve been. This is what they’d missed out on. His heart cracked.

“Everything will be fine. We can still sit together on the couch. You can still kiss me. You just...can’t sleep in here for a while,” Tae said. Kookie shook his head.

“I don’t wanna,”

“If you love him, you have to do it,” Jimin said. “Or you’ll do to him what you did to me & there won’t be anyone to pull you off of him. You know that.” Kookie knew Jimin was right. He loved Tae so much that it hurt. The thought of not being able to touch him whenever he wanted, making him come, falling asleep next to him, waking up next to him (or more often with him half on top of him because Tae was a stomach sleeper) - all of it made him hate himself. It was forcing him away from the one person he loved most. If anyone could “fix” him, though, it was Jimin.

“Time to go,” Jimin got up.

“Can’t I spend tonight in here?”

“Not after what’s already happened,” Jimin shook his head.

“Go on. I’ll be okay,” Tae encouraged. He got up & pulled one of his shirts out of the dresser. “Here. It won’t fit you, but it smells like me. You can put it on the pillow or something.” Kookie took the shirt & clung to it like a security blanket.

“I love you,” Tae kissed him.

“I love you more,” Kookie kissed him back. Jimin put his hand on the small of Kookie’s back & led him out of the room.

“It’s for the best,” Jimin said. “I know,” he sniffed. Kookie smoothed the shirt over the pillow before he lied down. Jimin lied down facing him.

“I hate myself,” Kookie said.

“Don’t hate yourself. You can’t change what arouses you. You can hate what you do because of it, but it doesn’t make you a bad person,” Jimin told him.

“I’m sorry for hurting you. It was like one second I was standing there talking to you & the next second I was choking you,” he said.

“And that’s why you can’t stay with Tae right now. You’d hurt him & not even realize it,” Jimin said. “And apology accepted.”

“Thank you,” Kookie turned his head & smelled the shirt.

“Do you miss Hobi?”

“Yes,”

“Then why haven’t you forgiven him yet? You forgave me for trying to kill you, basically,” Kookie said.

“We have a lot of history. There’s a lot more to us than I think either of us wanted,”

“You don’t want to be with him?”

“I love him,”

“That didn’t answer my question,”

“I don’t know,” Jimin sighed. “That’s why I haven’t forgiven him. I don’t want to decide in 6 months that I don’t want to be with him anymore. I want to be sure before I let him back in my life like he was before.” Jimin brushed the hair back off Kookie’s forehead.

“You’re lucky. You & Tae never doubted each other. I wish I’d had that,”

“And I’m sleeping with another guy until further notice,”

“Because he loves you. And you love him. Don’t worry, I have no intention of coming between you,” Jimin gave him a half smile.

“Just coming in me?” Jimin laughed.

“That’s the Kookie I know,” Kookie brushed his fingers over the red marks on Jimin’s neck.

“One day I’ll do this because you want me to, not because I can’t stop,”

“I believe in you,”

“I trust you,”

“Good,” Kookie kissed Jimin like he was something that might break. Jimin lightly ran his fingers down Kookie’s arm.

“Nice & easy,” he whispered. Kookie put his hand on Jimin’s cheek & kissed him again.

“Don’t let me hurt you,”

“Right now I’m your Sub, so I know how to stop you,” _Now isn’t the time to bring this up, dumbass_.

“I want to be your Dom,” Jimin didn’t miss a beat.

“We’ll talk about it later,” _Well, it wasn’t no…_

He ran his hands up Kookie’s back. “Tell me what to do,”

“Ummm, get on your back,” Jimin rolled over.

“Now what?”

“When’s the last time someone gave you a blow job?” Jimin smiled.

“I’m afraid I don’t remember,”

“You’ll need to start counting again,”

“Well then,” Jimin went to sit up.

“No, stay on your back. I like to feel you squirm,” Kookie told him. Jimin lied back down. Kookie rolled over on his stomach & starting massaging Jimin’s cock. “I can’t wait to feel you squirm. To feel you move under me. To feel you grab my hair because you can’t stand how good it feels. I can’t wait to feel you come. But I’m going to take my time. I’m going to torture you. How does that sound?”

“If this is what Tae gets every night, I’m jealous,” Jimin replied.

“Every. Single. Night,” Kookie was careful to not kiss Jimin’s neck. He kissed his upper chest instead. “Sometimes twice if we get in bed early enough. Or I wake him up.” “

Are you going to wake me up?”

“Depends on how badly I want to hear you scream,” Kookie kissed him. Jimin was almost rock solid in his hand.

“You’re a dirty, dirty boy Jeon Jungkook,” he said.

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it Park Jimin,” Kookie replied. “I hope you’re ready for this.”

“We’re about to find out,” Kookie slithered down Jimin’s body like a snake. He gave Jimin a devious look right as he put him in his mouth. While the popsicle analogy had stuck with Kookie, he’d modified it slightly. He took all of Jimin in his mouth immediately & licked his way up to the tip. He stopped periodically on his way up or down to draw figure 8s with his tongue. Jimin had started writhing & groaning. Kookie took one hand & gently squeezed his balls. Just enough pressure to make a point. Tae loved it so he figured it was worth a try. Jimin’s breathing sped up. _Check_. Kookie started rhythmically flicking just under the head. Jimin grabbed his hair. Kookie smiled.

“You like?” he picked his head up.

“Yes,” Jimin gasped.

“You want more?”

“Please,”

“If I must,” Kookie put all of Jimin back in his mouth again. His cock was shaking. He wasn’t ready for Jimin to come yet. He moved to the middle of the shaft & used his whole tongue to lick him. If Kookie hadn’t had his mouth on his dick, Jimin probably would’ve crawled away by this point. _Are you really willing to risk this after you almost strangled him earlier?_ Kookie reached up & scratched down Jimin’s sides. It wasn’t strong enough to draw blood, but it might leave temporary marks. Couldn’t ruin that perfect stomach. Jimin arched his back & let out a tiny scream. It was time. He plunged down on Jimin’s cock so it was almost down his throat. Using the trick Hobi had used on Tae, he stuck a finger in his ass. Jimin exploded down Kookie’s throat, clawing at his shoulders, & making more noise than Kookie had ever heard from him as he came.

“Good?” Kookie asked when he slithered back up to Jimin’s head. His whole body was shaking.

“Where did you learn that?”

“I kinda took a little bit from everyone & made my own,”

“Well done,” Jimin smiled.

“Thank you. And I didn’t even hurt you,”

“No more than Hobi would’ve,” _Why’d you have to bring him up? Way to ruin the moment_.

“I’ll let you sleep tonight. Being your first time in a while & all,” Kookie said.

“How thoughtful,”

“I’m trying,” Kookie held Jimin the way he held Tae before they went to sleep. He missed him already.


	2. Mid / Late August

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background music (if you’re so inclined):
> 
> “Danger” BTS  
> “Chances” Backstreet Boys  
> “Personal Jesus” Depeche Mode (original) / Marilyn Manson (cover)  
> “Edge of Glory” Lady Gaga

**August 15, 2018**   
**4:15pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

“We need to talk,” Hobi stopped Jimin outside what used to be their room & was currently his & Kookie’s room.  
“About?”  
“Everything,”  
“That’s a lot to talk about,”  
“We’ll start with Kookie,”  
“Fine,” Jimin agreed.  
“Shall we?”  
They walked out on the balcony.  
“Go ahead,” Jimin said.  
“I made a mistake. I had no idea he was going to turn out the way he did. I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe me on that at least. I wanted him to be a more aggressive Sub & I got what I wanted. If I’d known he was going to hurt you, I would’ve stopped it immediately,”  
“No you wouldn’t,” Jimin said. “I’d gotten too boring for you so you moved on. Then you got more than you could handle.”  
“You’re not boring. I didn’t move on. You’re perfect. I guess I just wanted to prove to myself that I could handle multiple Subs. I can’t. It blew up in my face,” he took a step closer. Jimin didn’t back up.  
“You can’t Dom Kookie anymore even if you wanted to,”  
“Why?”  
“He’s learning how to Dom,”  
“From who?”  
“Me,”  
Hobi’s jaw dropped.  
“You can’t do that! He tried to kill you!”  
“He wasn’t going to kill me & we’re working being able to recognize his limits,” Jimin replied.  
“Doms train Doms,”  
“He didn’t want to learn from you. He asked me,”  
“Why the hell not?”  
“I didn’t ask & he didn’t say,”  
Hobi was somewhere between angry & offended. Offended that Kookie didn’t want to learn from him. Angry that he might hurt Jimin & Hobi wouldn’t be there to help him.  
_Go to hell, Jungkook. Straight to fucking hell._  
“Send him to me. I’ll finish training him,”  
“He won’t listen to you. You’ll just bulldoze your way through it when he needs a calmer presence. He’s already mad at himself for his preferences. You know full well that the minute you get frustrated with him or he doesn’t do what you want him to do that you’ll start yelling,” Jimin replied.  
“I don’t do that,”  
“You did it to me,”  
Jimin might as well have kicked him in the nuts.  
“I never yelled at you,”  
“Have you forgotten the first 6 months of our relationship? You were constantly yelling at me when I didn’t do something exactly the way you wanted. It’s a miracle I stayed with you. Once I figured out that was the only way you knew how to communicate, I let it go. You’re not much better now if you’re wondering,” Jimin told him.  
Hobi tried to remember the early days. All he remembered was how happy he was that Jimin agreed to Sub for him. He didn’t remember yelling at Jimin. He didn’t remember getting frustrated with him. All he remembered was happiness. Apparently his memories were wrong.  
“I love you Hobi, but you're either my Dom or my boyfriend. You can’t be both,”  
“You love me?”  
“Yoongi didn’t tell you?”  
“No,”  
“I told him to tell you the day of the fight,”  
Why would Yoongi hide that from him? Yoongi had a reason for everything he did. He must have known something Hobi didn’t. His best friend wouldn’t do that to him.  
“I love you, Jiminie. I’ve loved you almost since the day I met you. I was too afraid to ask you out, so I asked you to Sub for me instead. If I could go back & do it again, I’d just take the risk & ask you out. This was a royal fuckup,” he flopped down in the chair. Jimin sat in Hobi’s lap.  
_What?!_  
“We can’t change the past. You can kick yourself for the rest of both of our lives, but it won’t do any good. All we can do is decide to move forward & be different. Be better,” he put his hand on Hobi’s chest. Hobi put his hand over Jimin’s.  
“I’m so sorry, Jiminie. Will you let me try & be better?”  
“As what?”  
“Your boyfriend,”  
“Yes, Hobi- _hyung_ , I’ll give you the chance to be better. As my boyfriend,” Jimin kissed him. It was the kiss he’d been dying for since he’d first kicked Hobi out of their room. He knew he’d missed him. He knew training Kookie hadn’t been a replacement for his relationship with Hobi. Their relationship was messy, but it was theirs. They loved each other & that was a good place to start over.  
“Is anyone in the room?”  
“Shouldn’t be. I let Kookie take a day trip to have a nap with Tae,”  
“Then if you don’t mind, I’d like to take you to the bedroom,”  
“I thought you’d never ask,” Jimin smiled & kissed him again.  
Jimin hopped up & led Hobi back to the (their) room.  
“God, I’ve missed it in here. I’ve missed you,” Hobi buried his face in Jimin’s hair & breathed in. He remembered what Jimin had said about knowing his smell even if he bathed in bleach. Hobi didn’t realize that he knew Jimin’s smell, too. It wasn’t just his shampoo or his conditioner or any other body product. It was *him*. He wrapped his arms around Jimin’s waist. He wanted to grab his ass. He wanted to throw him on the bed. He wanted to pin him down & take him. But he’d told him he would be better than that. He wouldn’t Dom him.  
“I’ve missed you, too,” Jimin rested his arms on Hobi’s shoulders.  
“I don’t know what to do. I feel like a virgin,” Hobi gave a little laugh.  
“You kind of are. We’ve never been normal. We can’t go from Dom / Sub to boyfriends in five minutes,” Jimin rested his forehead on Hobi’s.  
“What do I do?”  
“Kiss me,” he said.  
Hobi tilted his head & kissed Jimin like they were two 14 year olds sharing their first kiss. Jimin brushed his hand against Hobi’s cheek.  
“You’re doing fine,” Jimin whispered. “Take off my shirt.”  
Hobi unbuttoned Jimin’s shirt with shaky hands.  
Get it together. You’ve done this hundreds of times  
Except that he hadn’t. He’d never taken it slow. It was always clothes being torn off, bodies being pushed into walls or furniture, & orders being given.  
He pushed Jimin’s shirt off his shoulders. Jimin slowly pulled Hobi’s shirt over his head.  
“Take off your pants,”  
It wasn’t an order. It was a gentle request. Jimin took his off as if to show Hobi it was okay. Jimin ran his hands down Hobi’s chest.  
“I think I have all of you memorized,” he smiled as he traced a circle around Hobi’s navel.  
“I feel like I don’t know you at all,” Hobi put his hand on the back of Jimin’s head.  
“You’ve got time. I locked the door & Kookie won’t leave Tae until I make him,” Jimin nuzzled Hobi’s neck.  
“Mmmmm,” Hobi noised.  
“Come on,” Jimin pulled Hobi toward the bed. Hobi rested on top of Jimin, that familiar feeling of their whole bodies touching. He still wanted to take his arms & pin them. Or roll him over & spank him. To get his hands on that perfect ass. He didn’t know how to do anything else.  
“You’re doing fine, Hobi- _hyung_ ,” Jimin kissed him again.  
“I love you. And I feel like an idiot because all I know is how to Dom you,” he replied.  
“Don’t forget I’m used to Subbing. You’re not the only one who has to learn,” Jimin poked Hobi’s nose. “And I love you, too.”  
“I want you to take me,” Hobi breathed.  
“Are you sure?”  
“Absolutely. I want to feel you inside me,”  
“Are you ready?”  
“More than ready,” he kissed the spot between Jimin’s neck & jaw then rolled off of him. He got up on all fours & waited. He felt Jimin slowly slide into him. It felt just as perfect for Jimin to be inside him as it did for him to be inside Jimin. That was the word that kept repeating in his head about Jimin. Perfect. Hobi couldn’t stop himself from moaning. He heard Jimin do the same.  
“I’m afraid Jin is going to have to give us both a lecture on noise ordinances,” Jimin leaned over toward Hobi’s ear.  
_Oh god yes._  
“Just what I needed,” he said.  
Jimin began slowly moving in & out. Hobi hadn’t become that aroused that fast...ever. With each stroke, he found himself having to fight the urge to force himself back onto Jimin.  
_I promised. I promised._  
Jimin ran a finger lightly down Hobi’s spine. His whole body shuddered. Jimin had refused to speed up. He was taking his time with Hobi. Not to torture him, but because he loved him. He wanted to make him feel like they both should’ve felt the first time. Or at least once over the past 3 years. That slow burn, the spontaneous sounds of pleasure - that’s what he wanted.  
Jimin reached around & started massaging Hobi’s dick. Hobi squirmed.  
“I want you to feel how I felt. I want you to enjoy it the way I did,” he said.  
All Hobi could do was grunt. Jimin kept the slow, steady pace going. He began to feel a twitching around his cock & Hobi quiver in his hand. Almost there. Jimin increased the pressure, but not the pace. Hobi was barely able to hold still. Jimin grabbed onto one of his hips to keep him from pulling himself off completely.  
One more.  
Hobi came in a fit of screaming & thrashing unlike Jimin had ever seen. He dug his fingers into the sheets & threw his head back so far that Jimin wasn’t entirely sure that he wouldn’t break his neck. He caught Jimin by surprise when he arched his back. Jimin grabbed onto Hobi’s shoulders to stay inside of him as he started to come. He could barely breathe. It felt like it wasn’t going to stop. Hobi finally collapsed forward when his arms gave out. Jimin landed on Hobi’s back, rolling almost immediately off him & onto his side. When Hobi looked over at him, he couldn’t even form words. All he could do was laugh. Hobi laughed & smiled back. He scooted over toward Jimin & kissed him.  
“I love you, Jiminie,”  
“I love you too, Hobi-hyung,”  
“I’m glad I’m your boyfriend,”  
“I’m glad you are, too,”

**5pm**

Kookie & Tae were woken up by sex noises.  
“What the hell?” Tae rubbed his eyes.  
“Sounds like Jimin & Hobi made up,” Kookie yawned. Kookie had been sleeping on his back with Tae half on top of him on his stomach. Kookie rubbed Tae’s hair.  
“Maybe more than made up,” Tae rested his head back on Kookie’s chest. Kookie laughed a little.  
“I’m happy for them,” he said.  
“Maybe if they’re back together Jimin will let you come back,” Tae said hopefully.  
Kookie sighed.  
“I don’t think so. He still doesn’t trust me. I still don’t trust myself,”  
“Where would you sleep?”  
“I dunno. I’m sure Jimin has something in mind. He always does,”  
“I miss you so much,”  
“I miss you, too,” Kookie kissed the top of Tae’s head.  
“What’s it like with him?”  
“Nothing like being with you. Nothing will ever be like being with you,”  
“Can’t we do something?”  
“What if I lose control? What if I hurt you? I still hurt Jimin sometimes. I’d never forgive myself if I hurt you,”  
“I’m not ungrateful because he trusts you to be alone with me, but it’s almost worse because I can’t do anything with you,” Tae sighed.  
“I know what you mean,” Kookie leaned down & kissed him. The feeling of Tae’s skin against his was enough to make his heart race. Kissing him set off fireworks under his skin. He wrapped his arms around Tae’s back as he kissed him harder. Kookie focused on keeping his arms below Tae’s shoulders. He couldn’t risk it. He wouldn’t. Tae took Kookie’s arms & moved them to his hips.  
“You can do this. I know you can,” Tae whispered.  
“I’m scared,” Kookie whispered back.  
“Don’t be. I trust you, Kookie. You’ve never hurt me before,”  
“I didn’t know what I was before,”  
“Ssshhhh. You’re still you,”  
“I get off on choking people, Tae. And biting them. And spanking them until my hand hurts,”  
“That’s okay. Let me take you. Let me be where you can’t get to me, but we can still do something. I don’t care if I don’t come. I just want to feel you,” Tae sat up & rubbed Kookie’s back. Kookie pushed himself up & looked down at Tae. He looked at his neck. The things he wanted to do…  
“No, Kookie,” Tae said following Kookie’s eyes. Tae ran his hand down Kookie’s chest. “Just let me do this for you, baby,”  
“Please. I want you so badly. We have to be quiet. Jimin can’t know,”  
“I can do that,” Tae smiled.  
Tae got behind Kookie & watched his body language before he entered him. He could see Kookie shaking a little. Someone else might have missed it. Tae wasn’t someone else.  
“Do you not want to do this?” Tae asked.  
“I do. I promise,” Kookie replied.  
Tae slid into him & waited. Kookie was tighter than usual. Tae rested his upper body on his back & wrapped his arms around his lower abdomen. He turned his head to one side & rested his cheek on Kookie’s back. And he waited again. He could hear Kookie’s heartbeat. He could feel him starting to sweat. Tae tried to match his breathing to Kookie’s, but it was shallow & uneven. After what seemed like eternity, but was probably only a few minutes, he felt Kookie relax.  
Tae slowly sat back up & took slow, long strokes.  
“It’s gonna be fine, baby,” he rubbed Kookie’s back. Kookie just exhaled. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”  
He kept it slow. He could tell how scared Kookie was. It wasn’t the “first time” scared. Tae had seen Kookie’s first time. Even though the only part of Tae Kookie could reach was his thighs, he was still scared of what he could do. He knew his own strength. He knew Tae was no match for him. Even though Tae was the almost the same height, he didn’t have the same bulk.  
“Faster,” Kookie said.  
Tae sped up, but only slightly.  
“Again,”  
Tae sped up again. Kookie ground his ass back onto Tae’s dick. That was the Kookie he knew. Tae went with longer strokes, the kind he knew Kookie loved. Kookie started to pant.  
“There you are,” Tae ran his palms up Kookie’s thighs. He leaned down & kissed him between his shoulder blades. “You want it all?”  
“Please,”  
Tae sat back up & started thrusting as hard as he could. Kookie bit back a moan. It didn’t take long. Kookie swayed his back, fell down onto his elbows, & buried his face in the bed to smother his yelling. Tae stayed up on his knees as Kookie fell off of him. He rolled over & held out his arms to signal for Tae to lie down. Tae smiled & lied back onto Kookie’s chest.  
“You did it,” he said.  
“Let me do something for you,” Kookie said.  
“I’m fine. This was about you,” Tae rubbed Kookie’s stomach.  
“I want to,”  
“Sure,” Tae replied.  
“Lie down,”  
Tae took off the condom & lied down on his back. Kookie kissed his way down Tae’s stomach & then around his thighs. He took the tip in his mouth & used his whole tongue to lick around it. He gently squeezed Tae’s balls. Tae wiggled under him, trying desperately to stay quiet. He took long licks up Tae’s entire length. He loved feeling Tae move under him. He wasn’t afraid of hurting him anymore. He only wanted to keep pleasuring him. To keep feeling him move. To breathe in the musky smell of sex off his skin. With one final triumphant lick, Tae came. He wrapped his fingers in Kookie’s hair & held down his head. Kookie relished in the feeling of Tae taking control. Tae finally let go of his head & Kookie came up for air.  
“I think I need to go back to sleep now,” Tae smiled.  
“Me too,”  
“DINNER!” Jin’s voice echoed down the hall.  
“Or not,” Tae kissed Kookie.  
“Guess we shouldn’t miss dinner,”  
“Don’t want to make Mom mad,”  
They both laughed.

**7:45pm**

“Why didn’t you tell me that Jimin said he loved me?” Hobi asked as they went outside for their usual after dinner drinks & Yoongi’s after dinner cigarette.  
“You weren’t ready to hear it,” Yoongi said as he lit his cigarette.  
“I would’ve been fine,”  
“Yeah right. You were way too emotional. You would’ve gone running right back to him & he had zero interest in talking to you,” Yoongi replied.  
“You’re assuming an awful lot,” Hobi took a sip of his drink.  
“It’s not much of a leap. You’re a little high strung my friend,” Yoongi leaned back in the chair. Hobi huffed at him. “Besides wasn’t it far more rewarding to hear it from him rather than me?”  
Yoongi had a point. Hearing it from Jimin was more satisfying than any secondhand report ever could be. It made him warm & fuzzy thinking about it.  
“You’re right,” he conceded.  
“Of course I am,” Yoongi smiled. “You don’t want to hear me tell you I love you anyway.”  
“You don’t love me?” Hobi poked him in the arm.  
“It’ll ruin my street cred,” he replied.  
“Since when do you have street cred?”  
“Since right now,”  
“You can’t just decide you have street cred. Do you even know what it is?”  
“I was an underground rapper. Of course I know what street cred is,” Yoongi poked him back.  
“I’m a rapper. Don’t I have street cred?”  
“No,”  
“No?”  
“Why not?”  
“Because I said so,”  
“That’s not how it works,” Hobi refilled his drink.  
“It works however I say it works,” Yoongi grinned.  
“Whatever jackass,” Hobi rolled his eyes.  
“You know you love me,”  
“Slightly,”  
“I’ll take it,”  
“And…?”  
“Street cred,” Yoongi put out his cigarette. They both laughed. Hobi knew that no matter what happened between him & Jimin or him & Kookie or him & any other guy he might sleep with, he’d always have Yoongi. And he'd always be there for Yoongi because that’s what best friends did.

**8pm**

“Well, Jimin & Hobi have made up, Tae & Kookie are joined at the crotch, & Yoongi is Yoongi,” Namjoon said as he passed Jin a plate.  
“That about sums it up. And it sounds like a brothel in here 24 / 7,” Jin scraped the leftover food into the trash & rinsed the plate. Namjoon laughed.  
“You know there was a time when we couldn’t keep our hands off each other,”  
“We were never that loud,” Jin replied.  
“You were a screamer in your younger days,” Namjoon bumped Jin with his hip as he handed him another plate.  
“Oh hush,” he swatted at him with the wet dish towel. Namjoon dodged. He stood behind Jin, wrapping his arms around his waist & resting his chin on Jin’s shoulder.  
“Have I told you I love you today?”  
“No,”  
“I love you, Kim Seokjin,”  
“I love you too, Kim Namjoon,”  
“You know if we ever could actually get married neither of us would have to change our last name,” Namjoon said.  
“I guess not. I hadn’t really thought about it much,” Jin put the last plate in the sink & turned to face Namjoon.  
“I think about it all the time,”  
“Getting married?” Jin asked.  
“Yeah. I mean, I know it can never happen, but it’s just something I think about when I can’t sleep or we’re on a long trip. When we aren’t in this life anymore. Not that I want this to be over or I’m unhappy. I dunno maybe move somewhere it’s legal & end up being Mr & Mr. Adopt a kid or two. Get a dog. It’s just a silly fantasy,” Namjoon shrugged.  
“It’s not silly. It’s sweet. I’d like that. A couple of kids & a dog. It’s not like either of us is ever going to be with anyone else,” Jin smiled.  
“I wasn’t planning on leaving you for anyone else,”  
“Me either,”  
“Good,” Namjoon kissed him.  
“Get a room!” Yoongi yelled as he came in the room. Namjoon didn’t stop kissing Jin & gave Yoongi the finger. Yoongi cackled.

**10:37pm**

“Looks like I’m your roommate now,” Kookie came into Yoongi’s room carrying his pillow that had one of Tae’s shirts as a pillowcase. Yoongi looked up from his notebook.  
“Ah, now that there’s no longer trouble in paradise, but you still can’t keep your hands to yourself I get to babysit,”  
“It’s not babysitting,” Kookie huffed, throwing his pillow on the bed.  
“You got a better name for it?”  
“No,” Kookie sighed. Yoongi closed his notebook & hopped out of the windowsill. He pulled 2 glasses & a fresh bottle of scotch out of the closet. He filled them & handed one to Kookie. Kookie sniffed it & wrinkled his nose.  
“You’ll drink it & you’ll like it,” Yoongi said sitting on his bed across from Kookie.  
“What are you, the Alcohol Dom?”  
“I like that name. I’m keeping it,” Yoongi smiled & took a sip. Kookie took a sip & coughed.  
“You’ll swallow semen like it’s no big deal, but you can’t handle a little scotch? I’ll never understand any of you. I say that with the deepest love,”  
“If I have to deal with this then I’d rather sleep on the couch,”  
“Nah. Just ask Hobi how comfortable it is. Consider putting up with my snark as rent,” Yoongi told him.  
“Great,” Kookie rolled his eyes.  
“All the more reason to learn to not strangle people. Maybe you’ve been sent in here as punishment,” Yoongi said.  
“It feels like it,”  
“In all seriousness, which I know is a shock, we all want to see you succeed. None of us want to see you stuck being constantly watched to make sure you aren’t going to hurt someone. I don’t care what you’re into. That’s between you & whoever you’re with. I care when you hurt somebody. I saw what you did to Jimin because you couldn’t control yourself. That can’t happen again & you know it. I’ll do what I can to help you. Even if that’s just making sure you don’t sneak out of here in the middle of the night. You feel me?” Yoongi looked at him.  
“Yeah,” Kookie replied.  
“Cool. Finish that & don’t snore too loud when you go to sleep,” Yoongi finished his drink & went back to his notebook. Kookie looked at the amber liquid in the glass. He wasn’t on his own. He felt like it a lot of the time, but if cranky Yoongi was on his side then he wasn’t alone. He downed the drink, shook his head like he’d just taken cough syrup, & put on his headphones. He’d get there. Somehow.

**10:45pm**

Tae sat in the living room staring at a TV that wasn’t on. Everyone else had gone to bed. He couldn’t quite bring himself to go to his room yet. Now that Hobi & Jimin were back together, Kookie had moved into Yoongi’s room. Tae knew that Jimin wouldn’t let Kookie stay in their room. He’d hoped, but it had been futile. He was starting to resent Jimin. It wasn’t Jimin’s fault. Kookie had asked him to train him to Dom & when he got out of control, Jimin had to take more extreme measures.  
It had been Tae’s idea for Kookie to talk to Jimin in the first place. He knew Jimin had treated Kookie well before & maybe they could work something out again. He didn’t trust Hobi to teach Kookie. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Hobi. He liked Hobi just fine. Something had nagged at Tae & he’d insisted that Kookie talk to Jimin instead. Then it blew up in Tae’s face. Jimin was keeping Kookie away from him. He’d waited so long for his chance with Kookie. Ever since his high school leaving ceremony, he’d wanted him. He’d bided his time & had finally gotten his chance. Then this happened.  
Tae picked at the hem of his shorts. Surely Kookie wouldn’t actually hurt him. They’d had sex earlier & been fine. Nothing bad had happened. Why couldn’t he at least sleep in the room?  
But he couldn’t reach your throat.  
He sighed. He kept having to tell himself it was for the best. Once Jimin taught him how to Dom, then everything would be fine. He could have Kookie back, everyone else would be with who they were supposed to be with, & Yoongi was Yoongi.  
“Didn’t realize anyone was still up,”  
Namjoon’s voice made Tae jump.  
“I can’t sleep either,”  
“At least you have Jin in the bed with you,” Tae sighed.  
“True, but I’ve always had trouble sleeping,” Namjoon sat down next to him. “What’s on your mind?”  
“Kookie,”  
“Ah, of course. Dunno why I even asked,” Namjoon smiled.  
“I hate sleeping without him,” Tae said.  
“I always sleep worse without Jin in the bed. When I can sleep,”  
“I want him back. I know he won’t hurt me. We had sex this afternoon & we were fine,” he told Namjoon. “Don’t tell Jimin.”  
“Your secret is safe with me,” he assured Tae. “How can you be sure he won’t hurt you? That fetish is pretty strong.”  
“Because he can’t bring himself to hurt me unless he knows I want it,” Tae said.  
“What if he thinks you want it & goes too far?”  
Tae hadn’t considered that option.  
“Safe word?”  
“Maybe. Maybe not,” Namjoon shrugged. “I know it sucks right now, but it’s not forever. He’ll get there.”  
“I hope so,”  
“I know so,”

**August 19, 2018**   
**5:36pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

“I think we’re going to try something a little different today,” Jimin said.  
“Like what?” Kookie raised any eyebrow.  
“Hobi has a little prop that might be just the thing for you,” Jimin told him as he rooted through the closet.  
“Oh god,” Kookie said.  
“Don’t worry, it’s nothing that can penetrate you. Or me. Aha!”  
Jimin pulled out the collar with the two chains on it that attached to the handcuffs. Kookie’s eyes went wide. Jimin could tell he was getting excited simply looking at it.  
“Is that for you?”  
“I normally wear it. This time it’s for you. We’re going to see how you handle choking yourself. Within reason,” Jimin said. He got the handcuffs out of the bedside table.  
“You keep handcuffs in your bedside table?” Kookie asked.  
“That’s what happens when you live with your Dom,” Jimin replied, not looking Kookie in the eye.  
_I promise I’d be a better Dom than he’s been. Just give me a chance._  
“Chin up,” Jimin said. He might as well have been ordering lunch or something equally benign, not putting a collar around someone’s neck. “Arms out.”  
Kookie complied. Jimin put the cuffs on him & hooked the chains on the collar to the cuffs. He turned Kookie’s head to check the tightness of the collar.  
“Can you still breathe?”  
“Yes,”  
“This delightful contraption is designed to keep the Sub in line. The more you struggle with your hands, the more it pulls on the collar. The more you struggle against the collar, the more it pulls on the cuffs. You can choke yourself, but I should have it loose enough that you won’t do that,” Jimin explained.  
“Don’t sound so excited,” Kookie said.  
“I almost choked myself with it. I’ve always been a little suspicious of it since,” he told Kookie.  
“You don’t like it?”  
“I do what I’m told,”  
_Way to treat him like shit, Hobi._  
“Take it off,” Kookie said.  
“What?”  
“If you do what you’re told, then take it off,” Kookie said.  
“Okay,” Jimin was well & truly stumped. It was exactly the kind of thing Kookie should love. And he wanted him to take it off? Jimin took it off & Kookie threw it to the side.  
“Why’d you do that?” Jimin asked.  
“Because fuck something that upsets you. I do enough to scare you,” he said.  
“It’s not about me,”  
“If I’m going to be a decent Dom, I have to respect my Sub, right?”  
“Ideally,”  
“Then if you don’t like it, I’ll find something else,” he got up on his knees & kissed Jimin. “There’s plenty I can do that will get me off without a single chain or handcuff. Do you trust me yet?”  
“The real question is do you trust yourself?” Jimin leaned back to look at him.  
“There’s a safe word & I promise to listen,” Kookie put his face in Jimin’s hair & breathed in his scent. There was something about how he smelled that made Kookie crazy. He loved Tae, but he wanted to fuck Jimin. A lot.  
I’ll show you I can do this.  
“Alright. Let’s try,” Jimin said. “Ready when you are.”  
Kookie pushed Jimin over & got on top of him. He buried his face in Jimin’s neck. He could feel his pulse. He could feel the heat from his body rising up into his. Jimin’s pulse was fast, but even. He wasn’t scared of him.  
Kookie ran the tip of his tongue up the side of Jimin’s neck. Logically, he knew skin was skin. Unless you were sweating, which Jimin wasn’t yet, it didn’t really have a taste. Kookie swore that Jimin’s neck tasted sweet. Like those pure sugar lollipops they used as props sometimes. He kissed under Jimin’s jaw. Jimin tilted his head back & Kookie kissed his way across to the other side of his neck. He licked up the other side. He briefly contemplated biting him, but backed off. He had something to prove.  
He picked his head up & ran a finger down Jimin’s windpipe. Jimin watched him steadily. He looked like he was trying not to smile. Kookie took his index & middle fingers in a V shape back up Jimin’s throat.  
“If you like it, I want to know,” he tilted his head down.  
“What if I don’t & you have your fingers at my throat?”  
“What if you do & I have my fingers on your throat?”  
“A good Dom can read his Sub,” Jimin smiled at him. Kookie put his lips next to Jimin’s ear.  
“You’re loving this & if you try to tell me otherwise, you’re lying,” he hissed.  
“Smart boy,” Jimin whispered back.  
“Which is better? Not knowing if I’m going to hurt you or hoping I do?”  
“What did I teach you about hurting your Subs?”  
“So that would be option 2. Fine,” Kookie said. Kookie lowered his head to where Jimin’s neck went into his shoulder. He put his teeth carefully on Jimin’s sugary skin. He licked once.  
“Do it,” Jimin told him.  
“Who’s the Dom here?” Kookie picked up his head again.  
“Who’s the teacher?” Jimin countered.  
“Fair,”  
Then Kookie bit him. Jimin jumped & made a squeaking sound. Kookie hadn’t drawn blood, but it had been a solid bite. Jimin would have teeth marks.  
“Do it again,” he breathed.  
“Yes professor,” Kookie moved to the other side & bit him again. Jimin panted partially from pain, but more from pleasure.  
“More?”  
“You can’t leave any more marks,” he said.  
“Well that’s no fun,” Kookie pretended to pout. He kissed his way back up Jimin’s neck & wrapped his hand around his throat.  
“Do you trust me?” His breath was hot on Jimin’s face.  
“Yes,”  
“That’s dangerous,” Kookie kissed him. Jimin grabbed Kookie’s cock. Kookie jumped.  
“So am I,” Jimin replied.  
“You little bitch,”  
“I’ve been called worse,” Jimin smiled as he took a few long strokes down Kookie’s entire length. Kookie squirmed & breathed into Jimin’s neck.  
“Let’s see what happens when I get you off, shall we?”  
“You’re evil,” Kookie said.  
“You love it,” Jimin gave him a solid squeeze & Kookie groaned. “Hands where I can see them.”  
Kookie put his hands on either side of Jimin’s head. Jimin licked his nose with the tip of his tongue as he moved to short, quick strokes.  
“Fuck,” was all Kookie could manage.  
“Later,” Jimin replied. “Off you go.”  
Kookie came. Jimin watched as he clutched the sheets instead of going for Jimin’s neck. He was pounding against Jimin’s hand & hip.  
“Good boy,” Jimin said as he was coming. Kookie finally stopped moving & landed on top of Jimin in a sweaty, spent mess. Jimin rubbed his back with his clean hand.  
“Please let me be your Dom,”  
_Shit. I said that out loud._  
“We’ll talk about it later. I need to take a shower,” Jimin told him.  
“Okay,” Kookie mumbled. Even though he was only half awake, he swore Jimin took a minute before leaving. He wasn’t sure if he was thinking about what Kookie said or if he was simply admiring his handiwork. Regardless, it was out there now. The rest was up to Jimin.

**August 20, 2018**   
**8:43am**   
**Seoul, Korea**

“What's that on your neck?” Hobi asked as Jimin was changing his shirt to leave for the day. The bite marks Kookie had given Jimin yesterday had started to bruise. Jimin looked at it in the mirror.  
“It’s fine,” he said. Hobi came over & looked at it.  
“He bit you?”  
“I told him to,” Jimin replied flatly.  
“Why?”  
“It was that or try to choke me again,”  
“He’s being too rough with you,” Hobi said.  
“He’s a Dom, Hobi. It’s part of the job description,” Jimin sighed.  
“I never bit you,”  
“I’ve had plenty of bruises,”  
“It’s not the same,” Hobi insisted. The bruises were slightly visible under the neck of Jimin’s tee shirt. He stood behind Jimin & hugged him around his hips then kissed the back of his head. “I don’t like it.”  
“He asked me to train him & I’m doing the best I can to keep him in check,” Jimin told him.  
“You need to send him to me,”  
“Going to you is part of what got us into this in the first place,” Jimin turned around to look at him. Hobi wanted to say something, but he bit his tongue. They’d only been back together less than a week. The last thing he wanted was to start another fight that might last longer than the previous one.  
“What is it?”  
Jimin was staring at him.  
“What?”  
“I know you want to say something. I know that look,”  
“I wish he’d come to me instead. I don’t like that he bit you. I understand bruises, but I don’t like the biting,” he tried to choose his words carefully.  
_Don’t be the bulldozer._  
“I’ll discourage the biting. I can’t promise he won’t do it, but I’ll do my best to discourage it,” Jimin replied.  
“Okay,” Hobi sighed. “I’m trying my best, Jiminie. I really am.”  
“I know, Hobi- _hyung_. That’s all you can do,” Jimin rested his head on Hobi’s shoulder.  
“Just please be careful. I don’t trust him,”  
“I’ll be careful,” Jimin gave him a squeeze.  
“I love you,” Hobi kissed him.  
“I love you, too,”

**August 22, 2018**   
**8:13pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Yoongi heard the balcony door open. He didn’t turn around.  
“You’re late,” he said.  
“You were expecting me?” Kookie asked. Yoongi turned around.  
“Thought you were Hobi,”  
“No, definitely not,” he replied.  
“Can I help you with something?” he asked.  
“I just wanted to come out here &...think,” Kookie said.  
“Step into my office,” Yoongi pointed to the chair. “What’s on your mind?”  
“I miss Tae,”  
“You see him all the time,”  
“It’s not the same. I have to sleep in a different room. I spend half the night awake thinking about him. I hardly get any sleep. I’m miserable,” he sighed.  
“You haven’t been cleared by the boss to leave?”  
“He’ll let me take naps with him. Sometimes,”  
“So what’s the difference?”  
“What’s the difference what?”  
“What’s the difference between taking a nap & sleeping the whole night?” Yoongi sighed. Kookie thought about it.  
“I don’t know,”  
“Try a few hours. Jimin is testing you. He’s a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them. You think he doesn’t know you’re fucking around while you’re in there?”  
Kookie blushed. Yoongi took a long drag off his cigarette.  
“So what do I do?”  
“Prove you can last longer than 2 hours. And I’m not talking sex,” Yoongi told him. Kookie considered what he said.  
“I think I know what to do,” he said.  
“Then off you go,” Yoongi picked up his drink.  
“Can I?” Kookie nodded toward the bottle. Yoongi handed it to him. Kookie took a sizable swig & handed it back.  
“Thanks,”  
“Good luck,”

**9:21pm**

Jimin heard a knock on the door.  
“Come in,”  
Kookie stuck his head in the door.  
“It’s time,” he said. Hobi gave Kookie a death stare as he got up.  
“No biting,” he got in Kookie’s face.  
“Fine,” Kookie said flatly. Hobi purposely hit Kookie with his shoulder as he walked out of the room. Jimin leaned back in the chair.  
“It’s time for what?” he asked.  
“I’m going to show you that I can control myself. That I can sleep in the bed with Tae,”  
“Okay,” Jimin replied. He stood up & walked over to Kookie. He took Kookie’s hand & put it around the base of his neck. “Let’s begin.”  
Kookie ran his index finger up the side of Jimin’s throat. He felt his pulse stay steady. Jimin stared at him.  
“Take off your clothes,” Kookie whispered.  
“You’re going to have to move your hand,” Jimin replied. Kookie ran his hand down Jimin’s chest. Jimin didn’t break eye contact with Kookie as he stripped.  
“Take off my clothes,”  
Jimin still watched Kookie as he took of his shirt & shorts. Kookie’s heart started to race the longer Jimin stared at him.  
_I can do this. I want him back._  
“Now what?” Jimin asked. Kookie put his hand on the back of Jimin’s neck & kissed him. He put his other hand on Jimin’s ass & pulled him into him. Jimin kissed him harder. Jimin bit Kookie’s lip. Kookie jerked his head back.  
“I’m not going to make this easy for you. You have something to prove,” Jimin told him.  
“What can I do?”  
“Remember your limits. Remember what’s too far,” Jimin put his lips next to Kookie’s ear. He ran a finger up his spine & felt Kookie shiver. “Ask yourself every time you want to do something, would you do it to Tae? I’m going to push you. I’m going to push you hard.”  
_Oh god._  
Kookie’s breathing sped up. Jimin led him over to the bed. He leaned back & looked up at Kookie.  
“Ready to play?”  
Kookie nodded.  
“Get what’s in that drawer,” Jimin nodded toward the bedside table. Kookie opened it.  
Handcuffs.  
“Put them on me,” Jimin told him. Kookie froze.  
“What are you doing?”  
“I told you. I’m testing you. Do you want Tae back or not?”  
That got under Kookie’s skin. He leaned over & shoved Jimin onto his back. He crawled on top of him & buried his face in Jimin’s neck.  
“I’ll get him back,” he breathed.  
“Will you?” Jimin tilted his head back to expose more of his neck. Kookie licked his neck.  
“Yes, I will,”  
Jimin ran his nails up Kookie’s back. He gasped & ground his hips into Jimin. Jimin felt Kookie’s teeth lightly pressed on his neck.  
“You sure you want to do that?” Jimin asked. Kookie retracted his teeth.  
“Good boy. You going to get those handcuffs now?”  
Kookie reached over & grabbed the handcuffs. He sat up & cuffed Jimin’s wrists in front of him.  
“Now what?” Jimin gave him a look. Kookie leaned back over so their lips were almost touching.  
“Blow me,”  
“Of course,”  
Kookie got off Jimin & sat up against the wall. Jimin slowly crawled toward him, but not because he couldn’t move around in handcuffs. He could move around in handcuffs just fine. He was drawing it out for Kookie. Kookie squirmed as he watched Jimin come toward him. He put his elbows on Kookie’s thighs & rested his hands on his stomach.  
Kookie felt Jimin take all of him in his mouth. He flicked the base with his tongue. Jimin slowly traced circles as he worked his way up to the head. He extended his index fingers & started running them up & down his lower abdomen.  
“Holy fuck,” he gasped. Jimin alternated licking & lightly tickling. He wrapped his fingers in Jimin’s hair. Jimin curled his tongue around Kookie’s cock & slowly pulled his head back.  
“Enjoying yourself?”  
“God yes,” Kookie groaned. Jimin circled the tip with his tongue.  
“I’m going to need you to put on a condom,”  
“Why?”  
“Because I’m going to make you come while I’m in handcuffs with your hand on my throat,” Jimin told him.  
_I want him back. I can do this._  
“Okay,”  
Kookie did as he was told. Jimin slid down onto Kookie’s cock. He put his arms behind Kookie’s head.  
“Put your hand on my throat,”  
Kookie wrapped his fingers around Jimin’s neck. Jimin started grinding against him. One of Kookie’s fingers twitched.  
No.  
Jimin watched him just like the first time they’d tried this. Kookie had given up before he’d finished. He wasn’t going to give up this time.  
“How badly do you want it?”  
“So badly,”  
Jimin sped up.  
“Don’t move your hand,”  
Kookie felt another finger twitch.  
_I need to get him back._  
He felt himself getting close. He started to pant. Jimin went deeper.  
“Oh god,” Kookie threw his head back.  
“Don’t let go,” Jimin told him. Kookie kept his hand where it was. Jimin pulled the cuffs against the back of Kookie’s neck at the same time he ground onto him one last time. Kookie came & yanked his hand back like he’d been burned. Instead he put his hands in Jimin’s hair & pulled. He thrust up into Jimin & locked his jaw shut. He wasn’t going to bite him. When Kookie finished, he collapsed forward onto Jimin’s chest. He kissed the side of Kookie’s head.  
“Congratulations. You passed,”  
“Thank you,”  
“Don’t thank me. You stopped yourself,” Jimin smiled.  
“Can I go home now?”  
“Yes, you can go home now,”

**11:19pm**

Tae was about to turn out the light when he heard someone at the door. Kookie was standing there with his pillow.  
“Hey, baby. I’m home,”

**August 24, 2018**   
**2:46am**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Kookie stirred when he felt Tae roll over on top of him. He’d been back in his room for 2 nights & it was the best he’d slept in months. He was also acutely aware of every time Tae changed positions. Kookie was on his back & Tae had rolled over on his stomach. He’d flopped an arm across Kookie’s chest & wrapped one of his legs around Kookie’s. He snuggled in closer to him & nested his face in Kookie’s shoulder. It always got hot in their room for some reason & they’d long since kicked off the covers. Kookie was sweating from having Tae on top of him, but he didn’t care. He hugged him.  
“I missed you so much, baby,” he whispered.  
“Mmph?” Tae picked up his head.  
“I didn’t mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep,” he petted Tae’s hair. He was sweaty, too.  
“It’s fine,” he mumbled. Kookie gave him a squeeze. He nuzzled Tae’s hair. Tae yawned.  
“I love you,” Tae said, though it sounded more like “I uv you”.  
“I love you more,” Kookie replied. Tae ran his hand down Kookie’s chest & into his pajama pants.  
“What's this all about?” he smiled.  
“What you get for waking me up,” Tae replied.  
“I’m being punished?”  
“Uh huh,”  
“Okay,” Kookie laughed. He pulled down his pants & Tae massaged his cock. It didn’t take much. Kookie was already hard. Kookie took in a sharp breath as Tae used his whole hand. He worked his way up in a ripple motion with his fingers. When he got to the tip, he lightly rubbed the underside with his thumb. Kookie gasped. Tae smiled.  
“I may or may not have solicited some tips while I was stuck by myself,” Tae kissed him.  
“You’re going to kill me,” Kookie huffed.  
“Not yet,”  
Tae worked his way back to the base. Kookie started to squirm. Tae sped up. Kookie bit his lip to try & stay quiet. Tae repeated the ripple motion. Kookie thrust against Tae’s hand.  
“You’re gonna want to hold still to really enjoy the end,”  
Kookie grabbed onto the sheets. Tae took a firm grip on his shaft & massaged the base of the tip with his thumb. Kookie was panting & grunting. Tae made one quick stroke up & Kookie came. He thrust against Tae’s hand & made all manner of strange noises to stay quiet. Tae smiled down at him once he finished.  
“That’ll teach you not to wake me up again,”  
“Sure,” Kookie reached up & touched Tae’s face.  
“Let’s get cleaned up,” Tae said.  
“I’m not sure I can stand up,” Kookie laughed.  
“Then I did it right,” Tae kissed him.  
“You’re amazing,”  
“So are you,”  
Tae helped Kookie up & they went down the hall to shower.

**3:26am**

Jimin heard the shower turn on & he smiled to himself. At least for the moment, all was right with the world.

**August 25, 2018**   
**9:52pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

They were getting ready for bed when Hobi finally worked up the guts to say something to Jimin.  
“How did Kookie’s session go?”  
“Fine,” Jimin said as he took off his shirt. “I sent him back, didn’t I?”  
“And he didn’t hurt you?”  
“No. I pushed him & he did fine,” he replied. Hobi was silent. “What’s the real issue here?”  
“I’m not comfortable with you being alone with him,”  
“I trust him to behave himself,” Jimin said.  
“I don’t,” Hobi said. “And I don’t want him to come back to you.”  
Jimin crossed his arms.  
“You think I can’t take care of myself?”  
“No, but I know what he likes. I know what he’s capable of. I...started it,”  
_You have to tell him sooner or later._  
“Letting him fuck you once didn’t exactly create a monster,” Jimin replied.  
“When we were fighting, he purposely picked a fight with me so I’d hit him. He practically begged me to choke him. I did it. That’s why I’ve been terrified of him being alone with you. I know you won’t do it to him & you’ve taught him a lot, but he can’t contain that part of himself. Not forever. I can give him what he wants. Let me handle it sometimes,” Hobi explained. Jimin thought about what Hobi told him.  
“What did you do?”  
“I choked him with a belt when he came,”  
“And he liked it?”  
“He loved it,”  
Jimin sighed & rubbed his forehead.  
“What have we done?”  
“We?”  
“I’ve been trying to undo what you did that can’t be undone. He probably doesn’t know his ass from his elbow,”  
“So we’re stuck?” Hobi asked.  
“We might be. I let him go because he was able to stop himself. If what you’re saying is true, then he’s a ticking bomb. Somebody is going to get seriously hurt when it goes off,”  
“We’re so screwed,” Hobi sat on the bed.  
“I hope not,” Jimin sat next to him & rubbed his back.

**10:14pm**

Down the hall, as Tae was blowing him, Kookie found himself wishing for a belt around his neck.  
_Oh please god no._

**August 27, 2018**   
**7:36am**   
**Busan, Korea**

Jimin stepped off the train & the smell of the ocean hit him instantly.  
Home.  
They were spending the week filming at the beach which also happened to be in the area Jimin was from.  
“Happy to be home?” Hobi came up behind him.  
“It’s not really home, is it? Won’t have time to see anyone,” Jimin replied.  
“You didn’t tell them you were coming, did you?”  
“I didn’t want to make everyone else feel bad,” he told Hobi. Hobi put his arm around Jimin’s shoulders & gave them a squeeze.  
“Nobody would’ve minded. You need to take the chance when you get it,” Hobi said. Jimin just shrugged. Hobi’s heart sank a little. That was typical of his Jiminie, though. He cared more about other people’s feelings than his own. “If you aren’t careful, I’ll call them myself & let them know you’re here.”  
Jimin simply sighed.  
“Really, it’s fine. You know how busy we get when we’re shooting something,”  
“Okay then,” Hobi said. “Will you at least try to enjoy being at the beach?”  
“Sure,” Jimin replied.  
“I’d kiss you right now, but too many people are looking,”  
“Maybe we should tell them all to close their eyes,”  
“I’m sure once it gets really sunny, that won’t be an issue,”  
“I’ll just look forward to getting back to the hotel in the meantime,” Jimin smiled.  
“Sounds good,” Hobi squeezed his shoulders again & they caught up with the others.

**10:35am**

Tae & Kookie sat on the beach in between takes sunning themselves. As much as they could with buckets of sunscreen on. Tae leaned back & looked up at the sky.  
“Jimin used to live here?”  
“I was born here, but we moved before I started middle school,” Kookie said.  
“Glad you did or I might have never have met you,” Tae said.  
“That would’ve been awful,”  
“Agreed,” Tae looked over at him. “Though it’s pretty awful that I can’t be making out with you right now.”  
“And get sand in your hair?” Kookie smiled.  
“And yours. Sex on the beach is appealing until you realize how sticky sand is,” Tae picked up his hand & examined it. Kookie laughed.  
“So we won’t be sneaking out with a beach towel in the middle of the night?”  
“Maybe just open the windows,”  
“I’m okay with that,”  
“Maybe one day we can come to the beach just the two of us,” Tae suggested.  
“When they give us more than one day off sometime in 2020?”  
“It’s a dream,” Tae smiled back at him.  
“It’s a good dream. We’d have to be willing to leave the hotel room, though,” Kookie replied.  
“I suppose that is part of going on vacation, isn’t it? Actually doing something wherever you go,” Tae said.  
“Generally,”  
“Then it will take until 2020 to work up the interest in leaving the hotel room,” he laughed.  
“Back to work!” they heard.  
“It was good while it lasted,” Kookie said.

**10:48am**

Yoongi sat on the tailgate of the truck smoking. Hobi came over & sat next to him.  
“Is that safe?” he asked.  
“Is what safe?”  
“Smoking near an exhaust pipe,”  
“It’s not on, idiot. I’m not going to blow us all into the next incarnation,” Yoongi kicked him.  
“Just checking,”  
“Whatever. I know you didn’t come over here to inquire about my safety,”  
“Jimin didn’t tell his family that we were here this week,” he told Yoongi.  
“Why not?”  
“He said he didn’t want to make the rest of us feel bad,”  
“We understand. I’d like to think he would understand if Tae & I told our families we were there if we were in Daegu,” Yoongi said.  
“Are you kidding? He’d want you to tell them & see them if you could,” Hobi said.  
“But he didn’t do it?”  
“Nope,”  
“And they aren’t fighting or anything?”  
“Not so far as I’m aware,” Hobi replied.  
“Huh,” Yoongi tapped some ash off the end of his cigarette.  
“Having a thought?”  
“Your boyfriend has some serious self esteem issues,”  
“I mean, he’s never been super confident…” Hobi said.  
“He thinks he isn’t important enough to deserve to see, or even ask, if he can see his family. Yet if it were any of us, he’d be the first one to encourage us to do it,” Yoongi said. “Think about that.”  
Hobi swung his legs back & forth. Yoongi was right. Jimin would’ve insisted that any of them see their families if they could. Kookie’s family lived in Seoul, but he didn’t see them mostly by choice. Jin & Namjoon had basically raised him along with the rest of them. Kookie had been more excited to see them at his high school ceremonies than his actual family. As Hobi thought about it, he was closer to Yoongi than he was his own sister. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his sister. He did. He & Yoongi had shared experiences that he would never share with her.  
“What if he’s afraid?” Hobi said.  
“What do you mean?”  
“That he won’t have anything to talk about with them,”  
“There’s always something to talk about. I recommend politics, sex, & religion,” Yoongi smiled.  
“Very funny. I’m serious,” Hobi poked him.  
“Maybe? It’s not like we have meaningful conversations regularly,” Yoongi put out his cigarette.  
“I’m trying to be a good boyfriend & I don’t think I’m doing a very good job,” Hobi sighed. Yoongi slapped him on the back.  
“You’re doing fine. You can only do your best. You want him to be happy. That’s all anybody can do,”  
“Thanks Yoon,”  
“Talk to him. You might learn something,”

**6:45pm**

“Did you have a good day?” Hobi asked Jimin as they got changed for dinner.  
“It was fine,”  
“Just fine?” Hobi came up behind him & hugged him around his shoulders. “What’s wrong, Jiminie?”  
“The last time I was here, I didn’t leave on the best terms with my parents,”  
“What happened?”  
Jimin turned around & hugged Hobi.  
“I guess I had some bruises on my neck or something that hadn’t gone away completely. They asked about them & I told them it wasn’t anything they needed to worry about. They kept pushing me about it so finally I said my boyfriend did it to me during sex & it was none of their business. I think they were more upset about the fact that I came out than the bruises after that,” he replied.  
“You said I was your boyfriend?”  
“Well, the whole Dom / Sub thing added a layer of complexity that would’ve made it even worse. Saying you were my boyfriend made it sound better than you were just using me for sex,”  
Hobi looked down at him.  
“I never just used you for sex, Jiminie,” he said.  
“I know, Hobi- _hyung_. I wasn’t saying that you were. They would see it that way, though,” Jimin replied.  
“Is that why you didn’t tell them you’re here?”  
“We all left that dinner pretty pissed off & that was over a year ago,”  
“I’m sorry,”  
“It’s not your fault,”  
“I gave you the bruises,” Hobi idly trailed a finger across Jimin’s neck.  
“You weren’t the one who kept pushing me when I said drop it & I was forced to say something I wasn’t ready to say yet,”  
“They didn’t know you were gay?”  
“I didn’t know I was gay. Not until I met you at least,” Jimin replied.  
“I can only imagine what you thought of me,” Hobi laughed a little.  
“That you were cool. I wasn’t sure how to talk to you,” he said.  
“You thought I was cool?”  
Jimin nodded.  
“I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me all week,”  
“It’s Monday,”  
“Then it’s a high bar,” Hobi kissed him. Jimin smiled.  
“What did you think of me?”  
“The same thing I think every day. That you’re beautiful. And you’re talented. And how I’m going to get you out of those pants,”  
Hobi hooked his thumbs in Jimin’s belt loops for emphasis.  
“We’re not at home. We can’t miss dinner,” Jimin kissed him again.  
“After dinner?”  
“Sure,”  
“I love you, Jiminie. For exactly who you are,”  
“I love you, too Hobi- _hyung_. And thank you,”

**August 29, 2018**   
**12:20pm**   
**Busan, Korea**

“And cut!” The director called. Jin hit the brakes & almost threw the _maknae_ line & Hobi out of the back of the pickup.  
“Watch it, lead foot!” Hobi banged on the roof of the cab.  
“Clearly my plan failed,” Jin stuck his head out the window. Hobi glared at him. He heard Namjoon & Yoongi laughing inside the cab.  
“Break for lunch,” the director said. They all hopped out & headed toward the covered pavilion where they set up breakfast & lunch during the day.  
As Tae walked up the hill brushing sand off himself, he noticed an unusually large number of people standing around. As he got closer, he recognized one of them.  
“Mom?”  
“Taehyung!”  
Tae hadn’t been home in almost 2 years & hadn’t seen his family in well over a year. He dispensed of any dignity he might have had & ran over to hug her. She cried into his shoulder.  
“I miss you,” he told her.  
“We miss you, too. We’re so proud of you,”  
Then Tae started to cry.  
Kookie had seen Tae bolt ahead of him & when he got to the top of the hill, he saw Tae hugging a woman about a head shorter than him.  
“Jungkook!”  
Kookie turned around when he heard his name. His parents & his brother were standing behind him.  
_What was going on?_  
“Hi,” he hugged them.  
Jin & Namjoon were next. Jin’s dad & brother & Namjoon’s dad & sister waved when they saw them. Jin started to cry when he saw his brother. Namjoon knew they’d always been close & the hardest thing on him was leaving his family. He hadn’t let go of the hope that maybe one day they could have a family. As he hugged his sister, Namjoon thought about being Dad to more than just their 5 obnoxious brothers.  
_Don’t be stupid. You can’t even get married in this country._  
Yoongi, Hobi, & Jimin were the last ones up the hill. Hobi hung back a little to watch Yoongi’s reaction.  
“What’s everyone getting so excited over?” Yoongi asked. Then it seemed to register. He felt a solid tap on his shoulder. He turned around & saw his dad standing behind him.  
“Dad?”  
“Hi Yoongi,” he said. Yoongi hugged him & Hobi could see him fighting back tears. Hobi walked over & hugged his mom & sister. He had started working on this almost from the minute they arrived in Busan. He got as many family members out as he could. He’d actually paid out of his own pocket to get Tae’s mom & Yoongi’s dad out there.  
“What are you staring at?” Someone put their arm around Jimin’s shoulders. He looked over & saw his brother.  
“What are you doing here?”  
“Just because Mom & Dad don’t agree with your, lifestyle, or whatever doesn’t mean you aren’t my brother,” he told him. “Your boyfriend called me when you got in town & told me what he was planning. They still aren’t over the fact that you aren’t going to give them grandchildren, but I’m always up for a party.”  
“Thank you,” Jimin wiped his eyes.  
“Of course,” his brother hugged him. “Now where’s the food?”  
Jimin laughed.

**11:09pm**

“Well done with the impromptu beach party,” Yoongi told Hobi as they sat out on his balcony. They could hear the waves as they drank & Yoongi smoked.  
“You’re welcome, by the way,” Hobi said.  
“Thank you,” Yoongi replied. “It was good to see my dad.”  
“I think everyone was pretty happy. Except maybe Kookie. He didn’t look too thrilled,” Hobi said.  
“Now that’s one situation even I can’t decipher,” Yoongi said.  
“That’s saying something,”  
“Even I have limits,”  
“Thank god I’m sitting down when you say that,” Hobi laughed.  
“Don’t get used to it,”  
“Wasn’t gonna,”  
“Jimin’s brother was pretty cool. At least you’d have one good in law,” Yoongi said.  
“So now I’m going to marry into their family?” Hobi gave him a look.  
“It’s the inevitable next step,”  
“In case you haven’t noticed, that’s not exactly one of the options here,”  
“I dunno, do a commitment ceremony or something. Those are a thing, right?”  
“Have you been Googling this or something?” Hobi raised an eyebrow.  
“Maybe I just want to see my best friend make it official. It’s not like you’re going to leave him for anyone else,”  
“So you actually think we should get married?”  
Yoongi took the last few puffs off his cigarette before putting it out.  
“I just think it’s worth looking into. That’s all,”  
“I never would’ve pegged you for a romantic, Yoon,”  
“Maybe you roofied me after all,”  
“It had to happen eventually,”  
They laughed.

**11:15pm**

Two balconies away, Kookie & Tae were making out in the shadows of theirs. Tae was giggling as Kookie put his hands up his shirt. Tae’s fingers were wrapped in Kookie’s sea sprayed hair. Kookie ground his hips into Tae’s. That made Tae giggle more.  
“Are we going to take this inside?” he asked.  
“In a minute. How often do I get to kiss you to the sound of the ocean?”  
“Never?”  
“Exactly,” Kookie went back to kissing him. In reality he was feeling reckless. Seeing his family had put him on edge. It wasn’t that he didn’t love them. He did. He thought he did anyway. He’d gone through his awkward teenage years in front of cameras & his family hadn’t helped him navigate that. His brothers had. They taught him everything they knew. That’s how he became the _Golden Maknae_ in the first place. Anything they wanted to teach him, he was willing to learn. Then perfect. His family lived in Seoul & he’d turned down several opportunities to see them because he felt like he didn’t belong to them anymore. He belonged to them. He belonged to Tae.  
As Kookie fiercely kissed his boyfriend, he almost *wanted* to get caught. Then he remembered it would embarrass Tae. Calculated risk was one thing. Openly courting danger was another.  
_This is bad. This is very bad._  
“Let’s take this inside,” he kissed Tae’s ear.  
“Sure,”  
They walked back into the room & Kookie had to stop himself from throwing Tae on the bed.  
“What do you want to do?” Tae asked.  
_Pound you._  
“I dunno,” Kookie lied down on the bed & stretched out. Tae lied next to him on his stomach.  
“I know something that always relaxes you & I can tell you’re stressed,” he said.  
_Stressed. Violently horny. Same thing._  
“What's that?” Kookie looked up at him. Tae walked his fingers down Kookie’s stomach & into his shorts.  
“Oh it’s that game, is it?” he smiled.  
“Am I wrong?”  
“You’re never wrong, baby,” Kookie kissed him.  
“I’ll get that recorded some day,”  
“Mmhmm,”  
Tae pulled down Kookie’s shorts & started the ripple motion with his fingers up Kookie’s shaft. He started squirming & groaning almost immediately.  
“Fuck, baby. You’re so good at this,”  
“Thank you,” Tae kissed him as he rubbed the underside of the tip with his thumb. He stroked him a few more times just to hear him moan & watch him squirm. Tae settled into a steady rhythm of the ripple motion & stopping to massage the tip. Kookie was scratching at the sheets & his chest was starting to heave.  
“You ready?” Tae whispered, bumping his nose into the side of Kookie’s head.  
“Yes,” he breathed.  
“Okay,” Tae smiled. He rolled on top of Kookie & gave him a firm squeeze. He almost bucked Tae right back off when he came. Kookie heaved & thrashed around. Tae was somehow still on top of him when he finished. He wiped his hand off on his shorts.  
“Good?”  
“I love you,” Kookie breathed.  
“I love you, too,” Tae smiled down at him.  
_Tick, tick, tick..._


	3. Early September

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background Music (if you’re so inclined):  
> “War of Hormone” BTS  
> “Get Ur Freak On” Missy Elliot  
> “Shots” LMFAO  
> “Boys of Summer” Don Henley (original) / The Ataris (cover)

**September 1, 2018**  
**9pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

Kookie jumped as he turned on the lights & the rest of the boys hopped out from various hiding places in the living room.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t want to live to see 25,” he said. They laughed.

“It’s overrated,” Jin said. He was 3 months away from 26.

“I’d like to have you around longer than that,” Tae put his arm around Kookie’s shoulders & kissed his cheek.

“Gag,” Yoongi said.

“Here,” Hobi handed him a glass with a clear liquid in it.

“What’s this?”

“Birthday Boy is a vodka drinker,” Hobi nodded in Kookie’s direction.

“I don’t drink it straight,” he said as Tae put a party hat on him.

“Don’t worry, we took care of that,” Jimin handed him a mixed drink. Yoongi shrugged & downed his like a shot.

“Not bad,”

“We didn’t get that swill that you like,” Hobi said.

“I like my swill & if you keep insulting it I won’t share anymore,” he poked Hobi in the ribs.

“And he says we’re an old married couple,” Jin looked at Namjoon.

“HEY!” they said. More hysterical laughter.

“Cake!” Jimin came out of the kitchen carrying a cake that was big enough for the 7 of them if they didn’t leave it alone with Kookie for too long.

“Make a wish,” he put it down in front of Kookie.

_Good thing you aren’t supposed to say your wishes out loud._

He blew out the candles & they clapped. Tae scraped off a glob of frosting with his finger & ate it.

“Frosting stealer,” Kookie said.

“And?”

Kookie just gave him a look. Hobi put a dot of frosting on Jimin’s nose. Before Hobi could get to it, Kookie jumped over & licked it off.

“Excuse you,” Hobi said.

“Birthday boy,” Kookie smiled.

_Smug little shit._

Kookie put frosting on Hobi’s nose. Jimin licked it off.

“I’m not drunk enough for this,” Yoongi said.

“Go for it,” Hobi tossed him a bottle of vodka.

“Don’t mind if I do,” he cracked it open & pulled a shot glass out of the cabinet.

“Did you bring enough for the whole class?” Namjoon said.

“Seriously?”

“Our baby can legally drink in every country now. I think we need more booze than cake tonight,” Namjoon said hugging Kookie.

“Let’s do it,” Yoongi said.

An hour & four bottles of vodka among them later, they were all sufficiently intoxicated. Except Yoongi. Because Yoongi was Yoongi. Jimin, Jin, & Tae were laughing at any little thing. Hobi kept falling over when he tried to get up which triggered massive giggles from Jin, Jimin, & Tae. Kookie couldn’t keep his hands to himself. If they weren’t on Tae, they were on Jimin. Namjoon was sitting back surveying the scene.

“I’m going to bed. Happy birthday, Golden Maknae,” Namjoon got up & patted Kookie on the head.

“G’night Joonie,” Kookie said. He currently had his arms around Jimin’s waist.

“I guess I’m going, too,” Jin said. Namjoon helped him up as Jin giggled the entire time.

“I’m out, too,” Yoongi said. “Before I see something I can’t unsee.”

“Bye Yoongi!” Tae waved, pitching himself over into Kookie’s lap.

“Don’t be too loud,” he yelled as he walked down the hall.

“I think that was permission to do something,” Kookie said.

“I think so, too,” Jimin agreed. He leaned over & kissed Kookie, sliding his hand down his pants.

“Move, Tae,” Jimin muttered. Tae picked up his head. He looked over at Hobi. By this point, Hobi’d had enough to drink that he wasn’t pissed off that his boyfriend (former Sub) was fooling around with one of his (former?) Subs. He was more interested in watching. Hobi waved him over. Tae crawled over because walking was too much of a challenge. Tae, on the other hand, was jealous that his boyfriend was fooling around with another guy right in front of him. Jimin straddled Kookie, not taking his hand out from Kookie’s pants. Kookie put his hands up Jimin’s shirt. Jimin looked over his shoulder devilishly.

“Are you going to just sit there & watch or are you going to play, too?”

_Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck._

Hobi was hard almost instantly. Jimin glanced down at Hobi’s crotch like he knew exactly what happened.

“Come here you nasty thing,” Hobi pulled Jimin off Kookie’s lap & onto the floor. Jimin laughed & kissed him.

“That’s more like it.”

“Well?” Kookie leaned back giving Tae a pointed look. Tae pulled off his shirt & crawled back over to Kookie.

“Stop it,” Kookie said, grinning at him.

“Stop what?”

“Looking so goddamn sexy,” he tackled Tae & their hands went all over each other. Tae’s hands went down Kookie’s pants & onto his ass. Kookie’s hands were under Tae’s head.  
Jimin had pulled off Hobi’s shirt & Hobi had unbuttoned Jimin’s jeans. Jimin sat up & leaned against the couch. He looked at Tae & Kookie over Hobi’s shoulder.

“I think they’re having too much fun without us,” he said. Hobi looked at the tangle of arms & legs on the floor behind them.

“I think you’re right,”

Hobi rocked back on his heels & sat next to their heads.

“I’d say I hate to interrupt, but I don’t,”

“What did you have in mind?” Tae asked as they sat up. Jimin flopped over on his stomach next to Tae’s head.

“Want to play with me?”

Tae looked at Kookie. Subbing was one thing. Switching partners? He wasn’t so sure even though he was drunk.

“You’ll love it,” Kookie kissed him. “He’s all yours.”

“Thank you, birthday boy,” Jimin gave Kookie his smile that broke a million hearts.

“Guess that means I get the birthday boy,” Hobi smiled. His looked more like a snake than seduction.

“Can’t wait,” Kookie smiled back with equal venom. Kookie jumped on Hobi & kissed him intensely. Hobi grabbed the back of Kookie’s neck & pulled him closer. He pulled at Kookie’s pants. Kookie tore equally violently at Hobi’s pants. Hobi won even though Kookie was stronger. Hobi had more practice.

“Going to get them off?” Hobi asked from under Kookie.

“Oh, is that what you want?” Kookie leaned down.

“You’re the birthday boy. It’s all about you tonight,” Hobi taunted.

“In that case,” Kookie ran his hand up Hobi’s neck. “How about you suck my cock?”

“Oh, is that what you want?” He wrapped his legs around Kookie & flipped them over so Hobi was on top. Hobi sat up & ran his hand down Kookie’s chest.

“You’re good. You’re very good. You almost had me fooled,” he leaned down so he was right next to Kookie’s ear. “If you wanted to fuck my boyfriend, you could’ve just asked.”

“You fucked mine. Payback’s a bitch,” Kookie hissed back.

“Now here’s the million dollar question - are we going to fuck each other?”

“I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty turned on right now. It’s kind of nice to meet an equal,”

“We’re not equals, Baby Dom. But I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t hot,”

“Let’s save our boyfriends the trouble & go at each other,” Kookie licked Hobi’s ear.

“If you insist, Baby Dom. Roll over,” Hobi sat up & took off his pants. Kookie rolled over, put his arms & chest on the floor, & stuck his ass in the air. Hobi gave it a solid smack.

“Should I give you 21? 22 for luck?” Hobi asked.

“Surprise me,” Kookie said. Hobi smacked him again. By this point Jimin & Tae had stopped what they were doing to see what Hobi & Kookie were doing.

“Should we…” Tae started. Jimin shook his head.

“You might not want to watch,” he said. Tae jumped when Hobi smacked Kookie again.

“Now for the fun part, Baby Dom,” Hobi leaned over & grabbed his shirt. He rolled it up like a rope. He looped it around Kookie’s neck like reins for a horse. Kookie didn’t look upset or scared. He looked excited.

“Happy birthday to me,” he said. Hobi entered him & held the ends of the shirt in one hand. He held onto one of Kookie’s hips with the other hand. Jimin pulled Tae’s head into his shoulder so he couldn’t see what was happening. Hobi didn’t bother starting slow. He started pounding Kookie almost immediately. Kookie strained against the shirt. He started gasping.

“Hobi,” Jimin said. Hobi loosened his grip a little. Kookie went from gasping to grunting & moaning. He bucked against Hobi. Hobi refused to let up. Kookie clawed at the floor & ground against Hobi’s cock. He wanted this. He was enjoying every second of it. Which is exactly why Jimin was hiding Tae’s view. He didn’t need to see this Kookie.

“Do it,” Kookie huffed.

“What was that, Baby Dom?”

“Do it,” he repeated.

“Happy birthday to you indeed,” Hobi pounded into him one more time & when Kookie came, he crossed the ends of the shirt like he was trying to strangle him. Kookie kicked & fought. When he finished, Hobi dropped the shirt. Kookie rolled over & looked at him.

“Thanks,”

“Anytime,”

**September 2, 2018**  
**Midnight**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Tae threw up for the third time in 20 minutes. He knew some of that was the vodka. He’d never been much of a drinker. Most of it was what he’d seen Hobi doing to Kookie. Jimin had told him not to look & kept trying to block his view, but he’d seen enough. He’d seen Hobi fuck Kookie before. But never like this. Never this violent. And Kookie liked it. The thought turned Tae’s stomach again. Was this what he did with Jimin? Was this what he did to Jimin? This wasn’t the Kookie he knew. He didn’t like this Kookie. He was afraid of this Kookie.  
He heard a knock at the door.

“Tae?”

It was Kookie.

“What?”

“Can I come in?”

Tae didn’t respond.

“Please?”

Tae hugged his knees to his chest.

“Come on, baby. Please let me in?”

Tae leaned over & opened the door. Kookie was in his usual house clothes of running shorts & an old tee that was bordering on falling apart. He didn’t look at all like the person he’d seen on the living room floor a few hours ago. He sat across from Tae.

“Who are you?” Tae asked quietly.

“That’s the part of me I’m afraid of. That’s the part of me I’m afraid I can’t control. That’s the part of me that I’m afraid will hurt you,” Kookie told him. “I’m actually better than I was before. Which is scary.”

“Have you hurt Jimin?”

“No,”

“Have you hurt yourself?”

“Only when I wanted to,” he replied.

“I can’t do that to you,” Tae said.

“I know,” Kookie said. “I would never ask you to. Or expect you to.”

“What if you need that & I can’t give it to you?”

“I guess I’ll have to find a Sub,” he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

“You’ve already got one,” Tae said.

“No. I kind of asked & he kind of dodged the question,” Kookie replied. “I want you to be okay with it. I need you to be okay with it. If I ignore it...I could hurt you when I don’t mean to.”

“I love you. I hate the idea of sharing you,” Tae wasn’t sure if he needed to puke again or cry. Or both.

“You wouldn’t be sharing me like that. It would be like going to the gym or something. I go, I work out, I come back. It’s not like I’d go every day. I didn’t see Jimin every day,”

“But that’s like a training thing, right? You don’t need to do that every day,” Tae said.

“No,” Kookie shook his head. Kookie saw that stray piece of hair sticking out from the side of Tae’s head. He wanted to fix it, but he didn’t want to touch him. He felt like he’d betrayed him. Like he was dirty & Tae was clean. He wanted to touch him, but couldn’t. He wouldn’t let himself.

“I’m so sorry. I wish you’d never seen that. I wish you never knew...what I was,” he said quietly.

“You’re not a what, Kookie. You’re a person,” Tae said. Tears ran down Kookie’s cheeks.

“You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve you,” he leaned against the wall.

“I picked you, Jeon Jungkook. Don’t insult me like that. I have impeccable taste in men,” Tae risked leaning forward to rest his forehead on Kookie’s. Kookie laughed a little.

“I love you too Kim Taehyung,” he smiled.

“This floor is cold, I’m 99% sure I’m done puking, & I’m exhausted. Let’s go to bed,” Tae said.

“You still want to get in bed with me?”

Tae gingerly got up & held out his hand.

“I’ll always want to get in bed with you,”

Kookie took his hand & stood up. He hugged Tae.

“Thank you,”

“For what?”

“Loving me anyway,”

“Stop being stupid. We’ll figure this out one way or another,” he kissed the side of Kookie’s head. “Bedtime.”

They walked down the hall still a little unsteady, but determined to make it work. Even if it killed one of them.

**9:15am**

“All of you look like shit,” Yoongi said when he came into the living room. Jimin was curled up in a semi-fetal position with his head in Hobi’s lap. Hobi had a pillow propped against the wall for his neck. Kookie & Tae were half passed out on top of each other on the other couch.

“Stop yelling,” Tae mumbled.

“Bunch of lightweights,” Yoongi got his coffee & laughed a little as he went to leave.

“Not funny,” Hobi said without opening his eyes.

“How come you’re hungover? You drink almost as much as I do,”

“Not vodka shots I don’t,”

“Uh huh. Should’ve properly hydrated,”

Hobi gave him the finger.

“You’re fine,” Yoongi patted his friend on the shoulder.

“If I didn’t have him in my lap, I’d hit you,”

“All part of my evil plan. Stop looking pathetic & go back to bed,”

All 4 of them groaned in unison.

**11pm**

“You got a minute?” Tae poked his head in Jimin & Hobi’s room. Jimin was sitting up reading something. Hobi was asleep.

“Sure,” Jimin said.

“Outside?”

“Ah, one of those conversations,” Jimin got up.

“What’s on your mind?” Jimin asked when they got onto the balcony.

“I wanted to talk about what happened with Hobi & Kookie,” Tae said.

“Sit,”

Tae started picking at his shorts again.

“You weren’t supposed to see that. Really neither was I,” Jimin told him.

“Why’d they do it?”

“It’s...complicated,”

“Try me,”

Jimin sighed.

“Hobi & I have to take the blame for what happened. He probably always had these desires, but we gave him an outlet. Hobi made him fuck him. That opened the door. Then he saw what it did to Hobi’s & my relationship. He started to test Hobi & Hobi pushed back. Hobi just encouraged those aggressive tendencies. He couldn’t see what Kookie was becoming. I could. When he asked me to teach him, I was very hesitant. Doms usually train Doms. While I’ve taught him a lot about limits, I may have encouraged some bad behavior when I shouldn’t have. What you saw was the culmination of months of both intentional & unintentional training. I admit, that’s the most violent I’ve seen either of them. Maybe that got some it out of their systems for a while. I didn’t want you to see what can get them off. Some things are better if you don’t know,” Jimin said.

“Did Hobi ever do that to you?”

“He was never that violent with me. He knew I couldn’t handle it,”

“What about Kookie?”

“What about Kookie what?”

“Did he ever do that to you?”

“No. I wouldn’t let him. It’s part of what we work on,” Jimin replied.

“Would he do that to me?” Tae asked.

“I highly doubt it,” Jimin said.

“But he could,”

“If he went a long time without Domming someone then he might do something stupid. I’m trying to get him to the point that he can keep his most dangerous tendencies in check,”  
Tae swallowed hard.

“He needs a Sub, doesn’t he?”

“Yes,”

“I don’t know if I can do that. Share him, I mean,” he said. Jimin leaned back.

“I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell as a Sub & a boyfriend, it’s something you have to accept about him. I told Hobi I wasn’t going to Sub for him anymore. He’s a ‘quit anytime’ kind of Dom. He doesn’t need it. A little role play & he’s happy. Kookie needs to Dom someone. He loves you. He adores you. He worships the ground you walk on. For the sake of your relationship & your happiness, he needs to have a Sub. I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, but I Subbed for a long time. I know the difference between someone who enjoys Domming & someone who needs to. That was a lot of pent up aggression you saw. They both should be fairly calm for a while. When the itch comes back, though, he’s going to have to scratch it,”

Tae considered what Jimin said.

“What would you do?”

“Remember that he always comes home to me,”

“Thanks, J,” he said.

“Did that help?”

“It did,”

“Good. I try to be helpful,” Jimin stood up. “Now go to bed with your boy. He’s probably figured out you’re gone by now.”

“G’night,”

“Good night, Tae,”

Jimin stood on the balcony for a few minutes wondering if he’d made the right decision or if he’d just dug them all in deeper.

**September 3, 2018**  
**8:17am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“We need to talk about Kookie,” Jimin said.

“I’ve barely woken up,” Hobi rubbed his eyes.

“It can’t wait. He still needs training,”

“Didn’t you just determine that he was capable of controlling himself?” Hobi said.

“Not as a Dom. As a Sub,” Jimin said.

“What?”

“I’ll train him to replace me as your Sub,”

“No! Not if it’s going to be like it was two nights ago,” Hobi protested.

“So you do remember,”

“I wasn’t that drunk,” Hobi huffed.

“The thing is he can’t know. He has to think that I’m letting him become my Dom,” Jimin said.

“That doesn’t make any sense,”

“Ultimately, he is more Dom than Sub. That said, he’s not going to find a Sub that he can be as rough with as he can with you. I’m the one who can keep him in check long enough until you can Dom him. We’re in this together, Hobi,”

“Why can’t Tae do it? He’s Subbed before,”

“Tae was almost in tears when he saw what you were doing to Kookie. There’s no way he’s capable of doing this. I am,”

“What if he hurts you?”

Jimin put his arms around Hobi’s shoulders.

“I was confident enough to let him go once. If things get out of hand, I’ll tell you. I’ll let you know if he actually injures me,” Jimin told him.

“I thought we were past this. I thought I didn’t have to see you with bruises anymore,” Hobi rested his head on Jimin’s chest.

“I know. I thought we were too,” he replied.

**10:39am**

Jimin knocked on Kookie & Tae’s door.

“Come in,”

Tae was nestled under Kookie’s arm. Neither of them looked particularly happy to see Jimin.

_Sell it._

“Hobi & I talked about what happened on your birthday, Kookie. We decided that it would be best if you had a permanent Sub. Since I have the most experience & I’ve already been working with you, I’ll do it. If you’re okay with that,” he looked at Tae.

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“You do,” Kookie said. Tae was silent for a minute.

“If it’s what’s best,”

Kookie felt like he’d been punched in the nuts.

“We’ll talk about this later,” Jimin said & quickly left.  
_Caning would’ve felt better._

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Kookie looked down at Tae.

“Are you?”

“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I thought this was over. I thought we were done with this. Jimin let you go. We all had a little too much to drink on your birthday & did stuff that maybe we shouldn’t have, but does it have to go beyond that?” Tae sat up & looked at him.

_Tell him the truth._

“Before my birthday, I started having...urges. After I was allowed to be back with you. I wanted stuff around my neck. I thought it would just go away. It didn’t. It only got worse. Then when Hobi...gave me what I wanted, I felt better. I didn’t want to scare you & I didn’t want Jimin to make me leave, so I didn’t say anything,” Kookie said. “Jimin taught me how to not hurt my partner, but he couldn’t take that away.”

“So what, you’re going to choke Jimin instead of me?” Tae asked.

“I don’t know,” Kookie said quietly. “I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“Did you ever come close to hurting me?”

“No! Never! Before I wanted you back so badly & then there was my birthday that I didn’t feel like I was risking anything. If I thought I was going to lose control, I wouldn’t do anything. You know that,” Kookie went to touch him & then stopped himself. That dirty feeling crept up again.

“What?” Tae asked, seeing Kookie’s hand hovering in midair. Kookie drew his hand back.

“I can’t,”

“Can’t what?”

Kookie got up, walked to the bathroom, & threw up. He started to cry.

“Sorry, didn’t realize this one was taken,”

He looked up when he heard Yoongi’s voice.

“I think I’m done,” Kookie wiped his mouth & sat back.

“Eh, I can hold it,” Yoongi sat next to him on the floor. “What’s up?”

“I don’t even know where to start,”

“Would it have something to do with all that noise I heard on your birthday?” Yoongi asked.

“Yeah,”

“I don’t need to know the details, nor do I want to, but whatever it was, it’s not the end of the world. The great thing about life is the only thing that’s permanent is death. I’m sure they’ll figure out a way around that eventually, too,”

“I’m stuck like this,” Kookie said.

“Like what?”

“A freak. Who can’t even be with one person even though he wants to,”

“I’ve had the dubious pleasure of hearing what Hobi’s into over the years. I’m pretty sure you’re not as bad as him,” Yoongi put his arm around Kookie’s shoulders.

“Yeah, sure,” Kookie snorted.

“How about you start by telling Tae why you’re doing this? And that you aren’t actually enjoying it?”

“How’d you know?”

“I have ears,” Yoongi smiled. “Communication is always key. The more you talk, the better things will turn out. At least, that’s the idea.”

“What if he doesn’t believe me?”

“At least you tried,”

“Thanks, Yoongi,”

“No problem. Can I pee now?”

“Sure,” Kookie got up.

“Good luck,”

“Thanks,”

Kookie walked back down the hall determined to make it right. Or as right as he possibly could.

**September 9, 2018**  
**9:15pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Tae saw Hobi sitting out on the balcony by himself. He cautiously walked outside.

“You got kicked out, too?” he asked.

“Yup,” Hobi said. “He made it a whopping 8 days.”

“I thought it would be longer,” Tae said.

“You & me both,” Hobi handed Tae a drink.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with him?”

“By that logic, there would be something wrong with me,” Hobi looked at him.

“I don’t mean like that. I mean because he really, truly likes to hurt people,” Tae replied.

“Has he hurt you?”

Tae shook his head.

“If anything, he avoids doing anything with me because he doesn’t want to hurt me,”

“I did things to Jimin that I had no idea he didn’t want to do. He never told me,”

“He never used the safe word?”

Now it was Hobi’s turn to shake his head.

“He should’ve told me up front & he didn’t,”

“Why not?”

“He said he couldn’t. I didn’t realize I was that big of an asshole,” he sighed.

“You can be kind of an asshole,” Tae said.

“Okay then…”

“It’s true. You don’t mean to, but you get...snippy,”

“Snippy?”

“That’s the best way to describe it. Impatient maybe?”

Hobi sighed. He was an asshole. Great. Not even a lovable one.

“All of this is bullshit,” Hobi said.

“I’m not going to disagree,” Tae said, folding his legs in the chair.

“Our boyfriends fuck each other instead of us when, logically, there’s no reason it should be happening,” Hobi put his beer down.

“I think that’s how Jimin felt when you had Kookie & me as Subs,” Tae pointed out.

“You’re not exactly being supportive here,”

“It’s not always about you, Hobi,”

Hobi stopped. He skimmed through how he’d treated Jimin, Kookie, & Tae. They were his Subs, but they were also his friends. He loved Jimin with everything he had. He’d never asked how they felt. If they were okay. He’d only told them what to do & assumed they’d say something if they didn’t like it. He’d been shocked when Jimin told him that he’d done things for Hobi that he didn’t want to do. Hobi knew, in his gut, that Jimin didn’t have it in him to stand up to him. He’d tried to mold Kookie into the “perfect Sub”, but instead created a Dom who couldn’t resist hurting his partners. Jimin was the only one who could rein him in & Hobi knew that. No one else could undo what Hobi had done. It was why he loved Jimin. Nothing seemed to phase him. Until Hobi betrayed him. Tae was right. He was a self centered asshole. He didn’t deserve Jimin. Jimin deserved someone so much better than him.

“You’re right,” he looked at Tae.

“What?” Tae almost dropped his beer.

“I am a selfish asshole,” he sighed.

“Can I get that on tape?”

“Don’t get too excited,” Hobi gave him a look. Tae smiled.

“It’s okay, Hobi. You can change. Everybody can change,”

“I can’t go back & not treat him like shit,”

“No, but you can stop treating him like shit. Like ask him how he’s feeling & stuff,” Tae said.

“Is that what you & Kookie do?”

Tae nodded.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little jealous of your relationship,” Hobi told him.

“It’s hard. Sometimes he flat out turns me down because he’s afraid he’ll hurt me. I trust him, but he doesn’t understand that. He’s convinced he’s some kind of monster that will destroy everything in its path. I keep trying to convince him that he’s not,” Tae looked down at his lap.

“I’m sorry,” It was all Hobi could think of to say.

“Thanks. I’m sorry about you & Jimin, too,” he replied.

“A little late for that, but thanks for the thought,” Hobi sighed & looked up at the sky. It was cloudy & starting to get chilly.

“I’m sorry if I treated you like shit,” he looked over at Tae.

“Apology accepted. Though you give a pretty good blow job,” he laughed a little.

“You’re welcome?”

“Your advice did help my technique,”

Now it was Hobi’s turn to laugh.

“My Dom taught me that. Never forgot it,”

“You were a Sub?”

“For a little while. I was like Kookie in that I wasn’t cut out for it. I think I lasted all of 6 months as an actual Sub. Then I started learning how to Dom. I stuck with my Dom until I came here,” Hobi told

him.

“Did you like your Dom?”

“He was fine. He treated me well. He could be pretty rough sometimes. I think that’s why I can get a little too rough sometimes,” he took a drink.

“You don’t have to be like him. Just like kids don’t have to turn out like their parents,” Tae said, finishing his beer.

“You’re a hell of a lot smarter than I gave you credit for Taehyung,”

“That means a lot coming from you. Really,”

“Guess I’m trying to be less of an asshole,” Hobi smiled.

“Everyone has to start somewhere,” Tae replied.

They sat there staring at the city lights for a moment, then heard the door open.

“We’re done,” Kookie said.

“Okay,” Tae looked at Hobi.

“Good talk,”

“Good talk,” he agreed.

**September 11, 2018**  
**10pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Tae rolled over on Kookie’s stomach & Kookie wrapped his arm around him. They’d just found out that day that they’d be going on a 3 month tour of the US. A little over 40 shows in 31 cities. It was their biggest US tour yet & one of the biggest they’d ever done. Consequently, they’d been given the set list & had spent 12 hours going over it. Which is why they were all in bed & actually asleep by 10 at night. Tae was sore in muscles he didn’t know he had. They worked hard, but this was the hardest they’d worked in a long time. He felt Kookie stretch under him which meant he was sore, too.

“You can move, you know,” Tae mumbled.

“But then I’d have to let go of you,” he replied.

“And your back will be stiff in the morning,”

“Along with something else,”

“Gross,” Tae said, but giggled nonetheless.

“We were sore like this all the time before. Brings back fond memories,” Kookie yawned.

“Of leg cramps?”

“Of you,”

“Oh really?”

“I remember when I first realized I liked you as in liked you. It was my high school leaving ceremony. You were the one who gave me the flowers. I knew they were from everyone of course. It felt like they were from you to me, though. I thought it was silly at the time, but I couldn’t let it go. When I was having a bad day, I’d think about those flowers & pretend it was just you & me,” Kookie told him.

Tae laughed a little.

“That’s when I knew I felt something for you. The whole evening I wanted to kiss you & hold you & tell you how proud I was, but I couldn’t. I took what I could where I could get it. I figured it would never happen. Then it actually did,”

Kookie put his face in Tae’s hair.

“I want to only be yours,”

“You are mine. You come home to me,” Tae said. “And it’s not like we both haven’t been with other guys before.”

“Hobi was different. And we weren’t together then. I feel like I’m cheating on you every time I’m with Jimin. I try to shut down that part of my brain & let the monster out,” Kookie was on the verge of tears. Tae picked up his head.

“I don’t know how many times I’m going to have to tell you that you aren’t a monster before you listen to me,”

“I guess it helps me feel better about that part of me. Like it isn’t part of me,”

Tae rested his chin on Kookie’s chest.

“I love you & I’ll do anything I can to help you. If that means you have to be with someone else sometimes so our relationship can survive, then we need to be okay with that,” he said. “Both of us.” Kookie ran his hand through Tae’s hair.

“I can do that,”

“Good,” Tae kissed him. “Now roll over before you get a back cramp & can't move in the morning.”

“Bossy,” Kookie said.

“I get to take charge sometimes,” Tae replied as he rolled onto his side.

“I love it,” Kookie nestled behind him & put his arms around Tae’s waist. “And I love you.”

“I love you too, baby,” Tae replied.

And they went back to sleep.

**September 12, 2018**  
**6:18pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“Okay kids, Mom & Dad are going out,” Namjoon said to the other 5.

“You’re going to let the lunatics run the asylum?” Yoongi asked.

“If you’re a lunatic, then yes. You’re in charge until we get back,” Jin told him.

“Oh great,” Tae sighed.

“And our phones will be off so please don’t burn the house down,” Namjoon said.

“Awesome,” Hobi rolled his eyes.

“Bye,” they waved as they left. Jin had “borrowed” one of the staff members’ cars & was taking Namjoon to a somewhat decent restaurant for his birthday. It wasn’t a major milestone, 25, but it was worth celebrating. Jin thought all birthdays were worth celebrating.

“So what is this surprise you’ve got?” Namjoon asked.

“You’ll get it at dinner,” he replied. Jin was almost as bad as Tae at keeping secrets so Namjoon wondered how long he’d been keeping this one.

“I know I could’ve just cooked for you, but I wanted to do something special. And we can have cake with the kids later,” Jin said as they sat down.

“No, this is nice. Birthdays are supposed to be special,” Namjoon agreed.

“I’ve managed to keep this a secret for a week & I had to get Hobi, of all people, to help me, but I can’t wait anymore,” Jin reached into his pocket & pulled out a small box. Namjoon raised an eyebrow.

“Happy birthday,”

He opened the box to reveal a gold ring. It was a simple gold band about half the length of his knuckle.

“Okay…”

“I thought about what you said about getting married & I know we can’t do anything legit like you said. What I do know is I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else & I wanted you to have something to signify that. So I guess it’s an engagement / wedding / life partner ring?” Jin laughed his famous windshield wiper laugh. Namjoon pulled it out of the box & gave it a closer look. The inside was engraved with their initials & a date.

“August 25, 2013,” he read.

“The day we met,”

Namjoon was trying not to cry. He thought back to their previous conversation & how Jin had seemed largely uninterested in the whole concept of getting married. He guessed he was wrong.

“May I?”

Namjoon nodded.

Jin took it & put it on Namjoon’s finger.

“I love you, Joon,”

“I love you too, Jin,” he kissed him. He didn’t care who saw. He adored his someday husband. Someday.

**9:22pm**

They looked up from their video games when they heard the door slam.

“Sounds like the grown ups are home,” Hobi said. Namjoon had finally allowed himself to cry on the ride home. He was still wiping his face when he got up the stairs.

“What’d you do? Take him to the wrong place?” Yoongi asked. Namjoon simply held out his hand. They looked at his hand then looked at each other (except Hobi who had been in on it the entire time).

“Does this mean…?” Jimin started.

“It’s nothing really official, but Mom & Dad are unofficially Mom & Dad forever now,” Jin said. “Officially unofficial?”

“Congratulations!” Jimin jumped up & hugged Namjoon. Tae practically tackled Jin.

“I can get your ring out of my dresser now,” Hobi smiled as he hugged Jin.

“Thank you. Can’t have people thinking he belongs to someone else,” Jin smiled back.

“Congratulations,” Kookie hugged Namjoon.

“Thanks,”

“We got you a cake & I didn’t eat it all while you were gone,” he said.

“I’m so proud,” Namjoon laughed.

“You’re welcome,” Tae said.

They all laughed.

**11pm**

“So what do I call you now?” Namjoon was facing Jin in the bed. Cake had been eaten, toasts had been made, & now they were settled into bed.

“My name?”

“No, smartass. I guess you’re not my boyfriend anymore. Husband? Life partner? Fiance for life?” he poked his nose.

“I hadn’t really thought about it,” Jin replied. He twisted his ring around his finger with his thumb. They wore rings all the time as part of costumes or for events. Yoongi even had a set of rings that read “SUGA” specially made. They’d have to cut his finger off to get this one off, though.

“I like husband. Even if it isn’t...official,” Jin replied.

“It’s official to us,” Namjoon said. “And all the people who really matter.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Jin said.

“I am right,” Namjoon kissed him. “Besides it’s really official when you consummate the marriage anyway.”

“Are you suggesting we engage in some consummation?”

“Maybe,” Namjoon put his hand down Jin’s pajama pants. Jin giggled.

“Did I mention how much I love it when you do that?”

“What?”

Namjoon squeezed Jin’s crotch & he giggled again.

“That,”

“Shut up,” Jin said.

 

“It’s cute,” Namjoon pushed his pants down. “Like you.”

Jin kissed him & rolled on top of him. Namjoon ran his hands down Jin’s back & gave his ass a pinch. Jin swatted at him. Namjoon laughed.

“You know you liked it at least a little,” he smiled.

“You’re making it difficult to keep it down,” he replied.

“It’s our wedding night. I don’t give 2 shits,” Namjoon kissed his neck. “And my birthday.”

“So that’s one shit for your birthday & another one for our wedding night?”

“Correct,”

“Fine,” Jin kissed him harder. Namjoon had imagined this night for years. Love at first sight may not have been a thing, but he knew early on that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Jin. He was 19 & Jin was 20 when they met. The longer they were together, the more confident he was that he’d met his husband. Or life partner. Or whatever. Now as he felt Jin’s hands all over him & occasionally the cold spot that was his ring, Namjoon felt like he was going to pop from happiness. They’d promised to stay with each other forever. Just like he’d imagined.

“It’s your birthday, top or bottom?” Jin whispered.

“Bottom. You proposed after all,” Namjoon replied.

“I thought so,” Jin kissed him again. Namjoon rolled over. Jin entered him slowly. He leaned over & rested his body on Namjoon’s back.

“I love you, Joon,”

“I love you, Jin,”

“Thank you for saying yes,”

“Thank you for asking,”

“Of course,” Jin slowly slid in & out of him. Namjoon shivered. Jin kissed his back & sat back up. He moved slowly, timing his movements with Namjoon’s responses. He knew every muscle twitch & every sigh.

“You said you didn’t care about making noise,” Jin leaned down. He sped up. Namjoon groaned loud enough that I could definitely be heard through the wall. Jin smiled. He still had it. He relaxed into the feeling. He wasn’t sure when he’d started to care about being quiet, but it had been a long time. He started to breathe harder. Namjoon was squirming under him. He ran his hands down Namjoon’s chest & down to his cock. He gasped when Jin grabbed it.

“A little something I picked up from the kids,” he said. He took long, careful strokes down his entire length. Namjoon shoved his ass onto Jin’s cock & started panting.

“The fuck…” he managed to breathe.

“Mmmm?”

“Don’t you dare stop,”

“Okay,” Jin continued alternating thrusting & massaging. Namjoon had started to sweat & was having trouble holding himself up. Jin wrapped his free arm around Namjoon’s chest.

“Ready?”

All Namjoon could do was nod. Jin simultaneously thrust & squeezed. Namjoon fell down on his elbows as he came. His face fell into one of the pillows. Even muffled by the pillow, Jin could still easily hear him. He bucked against Jin & Jin managed to wait until Namjoon finished. He fell down on Namjoon’s back & partially covered his mouth between his shoulders. It was still noisy.  
_Oh well._

Jin rolled off Namjoon so he could catch his breath. Namjoon looked over at him & smiled.

“I married the right man,”

“So did I,” Jin smiled back.

**September 15, 2018**  
**3am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Hobi felt a hard nudge on the side of his head & something wet on his cheek. He rolled over & opened his eyes. Jimin was lying next to him grinning. He’d bumped Hobi in the head & kissed him to wake him up.

“Can I help you?” he yawned.

“You’re not the only one who can wake someone up in the middle of the night,” Jimin replied. It took Hobi a second to register what was happening.

“Is that so?”

“You’re awake, aren’t you?”

“That is a truthful statement,” he kissed Jimin. “What does that dirty little mind of yours want?” Jimin pulled Hobi closer & put his lips to his ear.

“I want your hands all over me. I want you inside me. I want you to fuck me. That’s what I want,”

Hobi tried to stop himself from shivering. This sounded like the old Jimin. Like Sub Jimin.

“Are you sure?” Just in case one of them was sleep walking. (Sleep sexing?)

“Yes, Hobi-hyung. I’m sure,” Jimin kissed his ear.

“As you wish, Jiminie,” Hobi kissed him. He slowly ran his hands down Jimin’s back. Jimin had commented that he had all of Hobi memorized. Hobi felt like he barely knew Jimin’s body. Ever since, he’d been taking his time to catalog every muscle, curve, & inch so he could feel Jimin in his hands even when he couldn’t touch him.

Jimin was resting his hands on Hobi’s ass while he kissed him. He’d always known Hobi was an ass man. It was pretty difficult not to. However Jimin had never really gotten to explore what he did & didn’t like. He’d never been with anyone else until he deflowered Kookie about 6 weeks ago. What he’d learned from that was simple. He couldn’t pick one thing he loved about Hobi. He loved it all.  
Hobi took off Jimin’s shorts, then his own. Jimin wrapped his arms around Hobi’s neck & kissed him harder. Hobi wanted desperately to grab Jimin’s ass, but he was trying to keep his promise. This may have sounded like Sub Jimin, but he didn’t want to (figuratively) blow it because he got carried away. Jimin pulled back & looked at Hobi.

“Fuck me,”

“Absolutely,”

Hobi held on to Jimin’s hips & entered him. Jimin immediately pushed himself back on Hobi’s cock.

“Is that what you want?” he looked down. Jimin looked over his shoulder & gave Hobi a devious smile.

“I can spell it for you, if you’d like,”

“No need,”

Hobi dispensed with the usual slow start & began pounding him almost full force. He watched Jimin’s fingers curl in the sheets & listened to him growl & grunt.

“More,” Jimin tilted his head back.

 

“Yes dear,”

Hobi went as hard as he could & felt that tickle at the end of his dick.

_That was quick._

He grabbed Jimin’s shoulders & with only a few more thrusts, Jimin came. Hobi held onto him as he writhed & panted. Jimin would’ve done the same for him. Somehow Jimin managed to stay on all fours after he finished. Hobi leaned over & kissed between Jimin’s shoulder blades.

“Finish yourself,” Jimin huffed.

“I don’t have to,” Hobi replied.

“Do it before I fall over,”

“Bossy,” Hobi gave him a squeeze & sat back up. He wrapped his arms around Jimin’s waist to help hold him up. Hobi took it slow because he didn’t want to make Jimin any more sore than he’d already be. He wanted to relax into it. He had a solid grip on Jimin so he wouldn’t fall over. When Hobi finally came, it was abnormally quiet & gentle. He lowered Jimin down & got off him.

“What you wanted?” he asked. Jimin nodded. Hobi pushed Jimin’s hair off of his face.

“Thank you, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

“For what?”

“For listening to me,”

“I’m trying,”

Jimin reached over & ran his hand through Hobi’s hair.

“You’re doing great,” he smiled. “Though I’m going to be sore for a few days.”

“I’m sorry,”

“Don’t be. I wanted it. I promise,”

Hobi kissed him gently.

“I love you, Jiminie,”

“I love you, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

“Let’s go back to sleep,”

“Sweet dreams,” Hobi rolled over behind Jimin & hugged him around his waist.

“And you,”

Jimin snuggled into Hobi’s chest & fell happily back to sleep.


	4. Mid / Late September

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background Music (if you’re so inclined):
> 
> “Blood, Sweat, & Tears” BTS  
> “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” Backstreet Boys  
> "Fucking Perfect" Pink  
> “Sorry” Meg Myers

**September 17, 2018**  
**3:55pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“Your other left, Jin,” Hobi sighed. They were on Hour 8 of 12 of Day 6 of rehearsals for the US tour. It was to the point they only got one day off a week (Sundays) & they left 2 weeks from today. They were focusing on blocking & Jin was having one of his “dyslexic” days where he couldn’t figure out his left from his right if you paid him. Hobi was getting increasingly frustrated & Jimin could smell a tantrum brewing. And sweat. A disgusting amount of sweat. The pecking order at home went out the window during rehearsals. Hobi & Jimin were by far the best dancers & they frequently ended up running the show. Jin was more than happy to slap Hobi into line at home, but he did everything he could to not incur Hobi’s wrath in the rehearsal room. Almost all of them stayed quiet & did what they were told during rehearsal. Even Yoongi. Jin moved & went to his right again. Hobi blew a breath out his nose. Jin backed up.

“It’s not that hard. Seriously. Stop whacking into Tae every 2 seconds because you can’t remember a routine that learned literally months ago,” he snapped. Jimin decided it was time to step in.

“Let’s take a break. I think we all need one,” he said, putting his hand on Hobi’s shoulder. “15 minutes?”

The others were more than happy to leave. Hobi shrugged Jimin’s hand off his shoulder.

“This is the perfect example of what I’m talking about,” Jimin said.

“What do you mean?”

“Bulldozing people & yelling when they don’t do what you want them to do,” he said.

“I didn’t raise my voice,” Hobi protested.

“You didn’t have to. You’re bullying him & you know it,”

Hobi didn’t reply.

“You did a pretty good job of intimidating me when I did something you didn’t like. Or I did it differently than you wanted. I was a virgin when we got together. I admit it’s my fault for not telling you. I didn’t have a reference point for anything. You’d been with at least one person before. My lack of experience aside, you knew I’d never Subbed before. When you should’ve been patient with me, instead you got frustrated & yelled. Like I said, once I figured out that was the only way that you knew to communicate I was able to let it go. That doesn’t make it okay, though. You need to learn how to get your point across without being an asshole,” Jimin told him.

“You think I’m an asshole?” Hobi felt like Jimin had slapped him.

“No, but you can act like one. I know you’ve got it in you to do better,” he replied. That seemed to be the recurring theme since they got back together.

_Do better._

Jimin wasn’t asking him to be perfect. He knew Hobi’s limits. He’d always be an aggressive personality. He only wanted him to try to treat people better.

“What do I do?”

“Apologize. Then stop yourself before you say something when you’re frustrated. Pretend he’s me. Would you talk to me that way? If the answer is no, then either don’t say it or think of a different way to say it,” Jimin said.

Hobi put his hand on the back of Jimin’s neck.

“Why are you so smart?”

“Years of experience,” he looked up at him. “I know you, Hobi- _hyung_. Inside & out.”

Hobi kissed him softly.

“How long has everyone been gone?” he asked.

“About 10 minutes,” Jimin said.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I’m pretty sure that closet isn’t occupied,” Jimin smiled through the kiss.

“Come on,”

Hobi grabbed Jimin’s hand & they snuck toward a storage closet outside the rehearsal room. It was the first place they’d ever made out 3 years ago & their favorite quickie spot.

“Shall I?” Jimin asked as Hobi flicked on the light.

“Do that thing with your fingers,” he said.

“You might have a hard time dancing after,”

“Don’t care,”

“Alright then,” Jimin kissed him, then pulled down his shorts. Hobi leaned up against the sink & waited. He felt Jimin’s mouth warm & wet on his cock. He felt his tongue move in perfectly orchestrated movements up & down. Then he felt his hands slide up his hips & his index fingers extend on either side of his lower torso. Jimin moved his fingers in time with the licking. Hobi wasn’t hugely ticklish & never had been. There was something about this spot that made the whole experience more intense. It had just enough tickle to add to the glorious feeling of Jimin licking him. He was having trouble catching his breath & started to squirm. Jimin held onto him tighter. He kept moving his fingers with each movement of his mouth.

“Fuck, Jiminie,” he gasped. Jimin stopped moving his fingers & focused all of his attention on Hobi’s dick. Hobi started to catch his breath. Then Jimin started moving his fingers again. Jimin was extending the 5 minute torture as long as he could.

_I love him._

Hobi was losing his grip on the sink. Jimin moved his head back & was lightly sucking on the tip. Jimin looked up at him. He gave him as much of a smile as one could with a dick in their mouth. He put all of Hobi’s cock in his mouth, gave him a very well timed lick / tickle combo & Hobi came. Hobi grabbed Jimin’s hair & held his face in his crotch. He forced himself to stay quiet as he thrust into Jimin’s mouth. When he finished, his hand slipped off the sink. Jimin was holding onto him. He pulled Hobi’s shorts back up as he stood up.

“I fucking love you,” he said.

“I’m flattered,” Jimin smiled as he kissed him. Some people might have been grossed out by kissing their partner immediately after oral sex. Hobi actually enjoyed the idea that he was tasting them mixed together. Yes, he knew he was a freak.

“Back to work?” Jimin said.

“Back to work,”

“Are you going to be better?”

“I’ll do my best to be better,” Hobi said.

“Good,” Jimin kissed him again.

**September 19, 2018**  
**10:25pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“I think you need some private time with Kookie,” Jimin told Hobi.

“Oh?”

“He’s getting a little...antsy,”

“Ah. I see,” Hobi nodded.

“I’ll be in the living room,” Jimin said.

“Sounds good,” Hobi kissed him.

Hobi caught Kookie outside the bathroom. He blocked the hall with his arm at about the height of Kookie’s throat.

“I heard you might want to play, Baby Dom,”

“Did you?” Kookie looked at him.

“I did,”

“My boyfriend is expecting me,” he said.

“He can wait a little while. Just tell him you & Jimin had a...surprise visit,” Hobi looked down at Kookie’s crotch.

_Gotcha._

“Can I trust you to keep your mouth shut?” Kookie leaned into him.

“The only mouth that’s going to be shut is yours because I’ll gag you if you aren’t careful,” Hobi’s lips brushed Kookie’s as he talked. Kookie’s breathing got faster.

“Get in my room,”

“If I must,”

“You must,” Hobi got right up on Kookie. He felt a hot, hard bulge on his thigh. He moved his arm so Kookie could get past him. When they got in the room, Hobi went to the closet & pulled the collar with the chains.

“I believe you’re familiar with this?”

“I am,”

“We’re going to use it as it was intended to be used. With your hands behind your back, Baby Dom,” Hobi grinned.

“Oh really?”

“I told you. I went easy on Jimin. I’m not going easy on you,”  
“I’d expect nothing less,” Kookie put his hand down Hobi’s pants & licked his neck. Hobi felt himself getting hard. Then Kookie bit him where his neck met his shoulder. Hobi grabbed his hair & pulled his head up.

“Did I tell you that you could do that?”

“No,”

“Looks like it’s time to tie you up,”  
Kookie just smiled.

“Down,”

Kookie sat on the bed & waited. Hobi fasten the collar, cuffed Kookie’s hands behind his back, & attached the chains.

“Over,”

Kookie rolled on his stomach & Hobi pulled his shorts down. Hobi grabbed the back of Kookie’s shirt & pulled him up to standing.

“Now let’s see how much fun you have choking yourself,” he hissed in Kookie’s ear.

“Plenty,” he replied. Hobi pushed him back on the bed so his chest was on the bed, but he was still standing on the floor. He gave his ass a few hard smacks before thrusting into him. Kookie strained against the collar & groaned.

“Liking it already?”

“What do you think?”

“I think it needs a little more work,” Hobi started to thrust into him again & Kookie wrestled against the cuffs, pulling on the collar. He pushed his hips back into the Hobi’s crotch.

“More already? You are impatient,”

Hobi grabbed Kookie’s hips & started to pound him harder. Kookie started to wrestle more, moaning & grunting while he did. Hobi loved watching Kookie fight him. He’d never gotten to use the collar the way it was supposed to be used. After the first time Jimin had almost choked himself to the point of passing out, Hobi knew he couldn’t use it the way it was intended. Until now. Kookie shoved his ass back onto Hobi’s cock.

“You have to ask me for it, Baby Dom. And you already bit me without my permission,” Hobi stopped.

“Finish me,”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Please,”

“Please…?”

Kookie waited a moment.

“Please sir,”

“That’s more like it, Baby Dom,” Hobi smiled. He adjusted his grip on Kookie’s hips & started thrusting again. Kookie buried his face in the sheets as he ground against Hobi. Hobi stopped, counted to 3, & then gave one final thrust. Kookie threw back his head as he came. His shoulders strained against the tension between the collar & cuffs. The collar dug into his neck as he thrust back against Hobi. Once he finished, Hobi pounded into him a few more times & finished himself. He scratched Kookie’s sides through his shirt.  
Kookie was still panting as Hobi took off the collar & cuffs.

“How’d you do?”

“That...wow,” he rubbed his neck.

“Then I’ll save it for you,” Hobi smiled.

“So there will be a next time?”

“There’s always a next time, Baby Dom,”

**September 23, 2018**  
**10:59am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

It was their last day off before they left for the US on October 1. All of them were determined to enjoy it. Kookie opened his eyes when he felt Tae kiss his nose.

“Do we have to get up?” he asked.

“No,” Tae replied.

“Good,” he said.

“Are you going back to sleep?”

“If we don’t have to get up then it means I can spend all day in bed with you,” Kookie kissed him. Tae ran his hand through Kookie’s hair.

“What do you want to do?”

“I’m happy lying here right now,” Kookie shrugged.

“Me too. Are you excited for the trip?”

“I don’t know. We’ve never been there that long before. Or anywhere really,”

“I think it might be fun. We’ll see more places,” Tae said.

“If they let us out. You know they never let us out,” Kookie sighed. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Sure,”

“Or not talk at all,”

“Are you upset?” Tae looked concerned.

“If we’re going to spend all day in bed, then maybe less talking & more kissing?”

“I’m okay with that,” Tae smiled & kissed him. Kookie put his hands behind Tae’s head. Tae wrapped his arms around Kookie’s waist. Kookie kissed him deeply. Nothing would ever satisfy him the way being with Tae did. He may have enjoyed being choked & spanked, but buried under all of that was just a normal boy who loved his equally normal boyfriend. As he felt Tae’s hands on his body, he hoped that someday he’d be able to let all of that go. Someday it would just be them. Someday.

**11:20am**

Hobi was sitting up looking at his phone with Jimin still asleep next to him. Jimin had been overworking himself again. The closer they got to the start of the tour, the harder Jimin had been pushing himself. Hobi had been subtly monitoring his eating, but that fortunately hadn’t changed. When they were supposed to be taking breaks, Jimin was still working, finding the smallest error, or even errors that didn’t exist in the first place. When they got home, he barely made it through dinner & showering before falling asleep.

Hobi always harbored a hatred for Jimin’s early training. He was a classically trained Contemporary dancer. With that training came a great deal of baggage. If he wasn’t too fat then he couldn’t turn quickly enough or get his leg high enough or he was too short. He wasn’t exactly diminutive at 5’8”, but he didn’t have the long lines of professional dancers. All of that had settled in over the years & made his beautiful boyfriend think he wasn’t worthy. Hobi wanted to strangle them all. Not in the fun way.  
Jimin stirred next to him. Hobi scratched his head.

“Go back to sleep, Jiminie,” he said softly.

“Don’t we have practice?”

“Not today. Last day off,” he looked down at him. Jimin picked up his head.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure, silly. Go back to sleep. You need your rest,” Hobi put down his phone & got behind him. He hugged Jimin to his chest.

“Okay,” he replied.

“Good. Don’t make me tie you to this bed to make sure you stay in it & get some rest,”

Jimin laughed a little.

“You’d enjoy that too much,” he said.

“Maybe,” Hobi kissed the back of his head. “Have I told you how perfect you are?”

“I’m not perfect,”

“You’re perfect to me & my opinion is the only one that matters,” Hobi squeezed him.

“Fine,”

“And I love you,”

“I love you too Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

“Now go back to sleep,”

Jimin squeezed Hobi’s hand & was back to sleep in a few minutes.

_Don’t ever leave me, Jiminie._

**12:07pm**

Yoongi sat out on the balcony smoking. It was a little early to start drinking even though it was their day off. Jin had briefly come out of their room to make breakfast only to immediately put it in the fridge when it became apparent that no one would be coming out of their rooms today. Yoongi didn’t mind. He rarely had the communal spaces to himself. He could watch whatever he wanted on TV. He didn’t have to share a couch. There was also a surprising lack of noise. They were all either too tired to be screwing each other or still asleep. Whatever. It was quiet. For once.  
He put out his cigarette & went back inside to get some food out of the fridge & find something to watch.

**12:19pm**

“Sounds like Yoongi is enjoying his day off,” Namjoon said when he heard the TV turn on.

“Might as well,” Jin replied. “I can’t remember the last time I was this tired.”

“We’re getting old, my love,” Namjoon looked at him.

“We’re not that old,”

“You're old,” Namjoon grinned. Jin swatted him in the arm.

“If I’m so old, then why did you marry me?”

“I never said it was a bad thing. I like older men,” Namjoon kissed him.

“I’m the only man you’ve ever been with,”

“Thus proving my point,”

“You’re starting to be as annoying as the kids,” Jin said.

“I’ll never be that bad,”

“You’re working on it,” Jin poked him.

“Hey!”

Namjoon grabbed Jin’s wrists & wrestled him onto his back on the bed.

“No poking,”

“Oh really?” Jin looked up at him.

“With your fingers,” Namjoon clarified.

“You just said no poking. I can not poke you if you want,” he smiled.

“Now who’s being annoying?” Namjoon said.

“You started it,”

Namjoon looked down at Jin then let go of his wrists & kissed him. Jin pulled Namjoon down on top of him.

“God, I love you,” Namjoon said when they finally came up for air.

“I love you, too,” Jin replied. He put his lips next to Namjoon’s ear. “Now fuck me.”

**12:45pm**

Yoongi finally heard the noises he’d been waiting to hear all morning. Except they were coming from behind the wall on the other side of the TV. He laughed to himself.

“Well played, Joon. Well played,” Then he poured himself a drink. It was almost 5 o’clock somewhere.

**September 25, 2018**  
**8:02pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

They were almost there. They’d just entered Hour 12. They could go home in 58 minutes. They left for the US in 5 days. They were all tired, sore, & starting to get cranky. The last hour was always the worst. It was the least productive & most prone to spats, especially between Hobi & Jin. At this point, though, if one of them looked crosswise at another one there was at least a 50% chance of a disagreement.

They were running through show order (again) & Hobi was leaning up against the wall grinding his teeth in frustration. He & Jin had just had a disagreement (again) over blocking. They’d moved on to the solo sequence & Jimin’s was first. He was only half watching Jimin, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Jimin’s legs start to shake. Hobi barely made it over to catch him as his legs gave out.  
_Please not this again. We might not survive it this time._

He lowered them to the floor & put Jimin in his lap. Jimin curled up into Hobi’s chest.

“Did you eat today?”

Jimin nodded.

“When?”

“I don’t remember,”

“He had lunch with us,” Tae said. Lunch had been about 7 hours ago.

“No snacks?”

Jimin shook his head. Hobi looked up at Tae.

“Do you remember what he had for lunch?”

“A sandwich? Maybe?” He looked at Kookie.

“That sounds right,”

“Just the sandwich? Nothing else?”

“Maybe a drink? I don’t really remember,” Kookie said. Hobi looked down at Jimin.

“Did you take a break today? Other than for lunch?”

He shook his head.

“Jiminie…”

He didn’t reply.

“We’ll give you a minute,” Namjoon said. He led the others out of the room.

“I’m fine,” Jimin said.

“People who say they’re fine aren’t fine. If you were fine, we wouldn’t be sitting on the floor right now,” Hobi told him.

“I’m eating,”

“Not enough. You’re pushing yourself too hard. I know you want to do well, but not at the expense of your health,”

“I want to be perfect,” he said quietly.

“You are perfect. Whoever made you believe that you aren’t needs to be punched,” Hobi kissed the top of his head. “You’re no good to anyone if your legs are so overworked that you can’t stand.”

_Or if you aren’t eating enough to support your body._

“This is so big. I don’t want to disappoint anybody,” Jimin sniffed.

“You won’t. I know it’s big. I know it’s scary. I’m scared, too. We’ve got each other. We’ve got our brothers. You’re not alone, Jiminie. You’re never alone,” Hobi hugged him closer to his chest. Jimin cried into Hobi’s shoulder.

“I have to be perfect,”

“You are perfect. You always have been,”

“I’m tired,”

“Let’s take you home, get you some dinner, & get you in bed,”

“It’s not time to leave yet,”

“Half an hour won’t make a difference. Up we go,”

Somehow Hobi managed to stand up without putting Jimin down. He carried him out into the hall.

“Is the van here yet?” he asked Namjoon.

“Not yet,”

“Can you call them please?”

Jimin had stopped crying & was simply resting his head on Hobi’s shoulder. He looked exhausted & completely uninterested.

**9:06pm**

They eventually made it home & Hobi put Jimin in bed.

“Let me get you some dinner,” he kissed him & went back to the kitchen.

“I can make some soup,” Jin suggested.

“Do we have any of that ramen that he likes?”

“We should,”

“Thanks Jin,” Hobi patted his arm.

“No problem,”

Hobi went out on the balcony to make a phone call that would inevitably turn into a shouting match.

“We’re taking tomorrow off,” he said.

“You leave in 4 days. You can’t afford to take a day off,”

“Can you really afford us so tired & sore that we can’t move?”

“You knew how demanding this rehearsal schedule was going to be well in advance,”

“And I’m telling you that we are taking tomorrow off,” Hobi had to speak slowly to keep his voice steady.

“Do you want to get fired?”

“Do you want to replace all 7 of us?”

“I hardly think you’re that dedicated to taking a day off,”

_But I am that dedicated to the person I love_.

“If you want us there tomorrow, then you will have to come into this house & drag us out. I won’t let you overwork us,”

_I won’t let you overwork him._

Silence on the other end.

“Fine. Back to work on Thursday,”

“Fine,”

And Hobi hung up.

“I tried no to make it too hot,” Jin said as he handed Hobi the bowl. Hobi gave him a weak smile as he took it. Jin tried to smile back & failed. Jimin had already fallen asleep. Hobi hated to wake him up, but he needed to eat. He put the bowl on the bedside table & kissed Jimin’s cheek. He stirred.

“Dinner. Jin found some of that ramen you like,”

“I’m not hungry,” he mumbled.

“Just a few noodles? For your mean ex-Dom?” he smiled down at him.

“You’re not mean,” Jimin replied.

“I’m not? Then I’m doing something wrong,” he nuzzled Jimin’s neck. Jimin put one hand on the back of Hobi’s head & Hobi heard his breathing change. He knew that breathing.

“Eat a little bit for me & take a shower first,” Hobi told him.

“You promise?”

“No, because if you’re too tired then we aren’t doing anything,” he replied. “I’m not making a promise I can’t keep, Jiminie.”

“Okay,” Jimin kissed Hobi as he sat up. Hobi held the bowl as Jimin took a few bites.

“I hope it’s the right flavor. It’s the only one Jin could find,”

“It’s good,” Jimin replied.

“Look at that! You finished it!” Hobi smiled.

“I guess I was hungry,” he said.

“Let’s get you cleaned up. Can you stand?”

“I think so,”

Hobi helped Jimin up & they made their way to the bathroom. They showered together almost all the time, but this time was different. Jimin’s legs were still shaking, but he could stand. The muscles were beyond fatigued. Jimin could barely feel anything from his waist down. Hobi started the shower & got them undressed.

“Hold on to me,” he told Jimin once they got in. Jimin hooked one arm behind Hobi’s neck. He put Jimin under the water to keep him warm. He could deal with being cold for a little while.

“I’m sorry,” Jimin told him as Hobi scrubbed his back.

“What for?”

“For putting you through this again,”

“It’s not the same. You’ve just pushed yourself too hard. Besides, I managed to get us a day off out of it,” he smiled.

“You didn’t have to do that,”

“Yes I did. You need to rest. We all need to rest,”

“Are you going to threaten to tie me to the bed again?”

“I might if you try to get up when you aren’t supposed to,”

“I might like it,” Jimin kissed him.

“Nice try. You can barely move your legs,”

“Who said anything about using my legs?”

Hobi raised an eyebrow.

“How can you possibly be this horny when you were barely conscious 2 hours ago?”

“Maybe it’s just you, mean ex-Dom,” Jimin put his face in the crook of Hobi’s neck.

“Fine, dirty boy. You can show me how you can get what you want without using your legs,” Hobi ran his hand down Jimin’s back.

“I hope you don’t mind me being inside you,”

“When would I ever mind that?” Hobi kissed him.

“Are we done here?”

“Sounds like we’re just gonna need another one anyway,”

Jimin giggled. Hobi couldn’t help but smile. He’d feared the worst & it hadn’t come to pass. So far.

**10:12pm**

Jimin had to use his hands to help cross his legs. He tried not to wince too much because he knew Hobi was watching. He wanted Hobi more than his legs hurt.

“So what I am doing?” Hobi asked.

“Sit on top of me & put your legs around me,”

“This is all very intimate,” he smiled.

“I know, a real stretch for you,” Jimin said.

“Especially for a mean ex-Dom,” Hobi slid down on Jimin’s cock & wrapped his legs around his hips. Jimin rested his arms on Hobi’s shoulders. Hobi kissed him slowly.

“I love you, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

“I love you too, Jiminie,”

Hobi ground his ass into Jimin’s lap. It was an entirely different feeling. Like he’d said, more intimate. More erotic. More personal. Jimin put his hands behind Hobi’s head & kissed him harder. That made Hobi unconsciously grind harder. Jimin groaned. He reached down & started stroking Hobi’s dick. He sucked in a sharp breath.

“Relax. You know I’ll take care of you,” Jimin whispered.

“All too well,” Hobi replied as he sunk into the feeling of Jimin all around him. There was nothing Jimin couldn’t do well. Jimin watched Hobi as he pushed against his cock. He felt at home inside of him. As he massaged Hobi, he felt him contract around him. That only got Jimin closer. He leaned into Hobi’s shoulder.

“Do you want me to finish you?”

“Not yet,”

“Why?”

“I want to finish you first,” Hobi whispered back. He trailed a finger up Jimin’s chest & rested it in the space between his collarbones. He kissed the side of Jimin’s neck. Jimin shivered.

“Now it’s time,” Hobi ground against him & bit him on the shoulder. Jimin shoved his face in Hobi’s shoulder to try & stay quiet as he came. He didn’t let go of Hobi’s cock. Before Jimin even finished, Hobi came. He grabbed Jimin into a hug & resorted to panting to stay quiet. He had his fingers wrapped in Jimin’s hair. They looked at each other once they were both finished.

“Thank you, Hobi-hyung,”

“You’re welcome, Jiminie,”

“Time to go to sleep now?”

“Time to go to sleep now,”

**September 27, 2018**  
**10:18pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Kookie slammed his hand into the wall, blocking Hobi’s path down the hall.

“Can I help you?” Hobi asked.

“Yes, actually, you can,” he said. It had been a little over a week since their last session, but Kookie hadn’t seen Jimin in the meantime since he’d been too tired to do anything other than eat & sleep.

Tae had been giving him all that he was capable of, but the itch was there & was about to drive him insane. Hobi saw the look in Kookie’s eyes like an addict who was well past needing his next fix. In a way, he was.

“Well, Jimin is asleep, so looks like you’re going to have to give your boyfriend the boot,” Hobi told him. Kookie had been afraid of that. But he needed this. If not, he didn’t want to imagine what he might do to Tae.

“Fine,”

Hobi followed Kookie down the hall to their room. When Tae saw Hobi, he knew what was coming next.

“I’ll be on the couch,” he sighed.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Kookie kissed him as he left.

“I know,” Tae didn’t look at him. Part of Hobi felt bad for them. A larger part of him was ready to pound Kookie’s ass until he couldn’t sit.

“What does the Baby Dom want today?”

“Do you actually want to know or are you just pretending to care?”

“I guess it depends on if your answer matches what I had in mind,” Hobi walked behind him. “So what will it be?”

“How about a revisit of my birthday?”

“Wrestling match & all?” Hobi asked as he held Kookie’s arms behind his back & rested his chin on his shoulder. “Or do you just want to get straight to the fucking?”

“Not even a little foreplay?”

“Don’t tempt me, Baby Dom. I might have been going easy on you because I was drunk,”

“Oh really?”

“Mmhmm,” Hobi tightened his grip on Kookie’s wrists.

“Then show me what not going easy is,” Kookie leaned his head back.

“Just keep in mind that pretty little neck of yours has to remain unspoiled since we’re about to go on tour & all,” Hobi told him.

“I guess that’s just more of a challenge for you, isn’t it?” Hobi put his face in Kookie’s neck & breathed out. Kookie shivered when he felt the hot breath on his skin.

“Sure. We’ll call it that,” he pushed Kookie forward & he landed on his hands & knees on the floor. Hobi knelt behind him & flipped him over to unbutton his jeans. Kookie grabbed his wrists & pinned them to either side of his hips on the floor.

“Nice try,”

Hobi leaned forward & kissed Kookie, putting his whole body weight onto him. Kookie pushed down harder on Hobi’s wrists to keep himself upright. Hobi got into a squatting position, then slowly straddled Kookie. The change in weight caused Kookie to lose his balance & release Hobi’s arms. Hobi put one hand in Kookie’s hair & pulled back his head & put the other hand around his throat.

“Silly Baby Dom. You think brute force will win every time. Maybe one day you’ll learn that being sneaky is better than being strong. Though being strong isn’t so bad when one is looking for a good pounding,” Hobi leaned his face over, letting his lips brush Kookie’s. He tightened his fingers around Kookie’s throat as he kissed him again. Kookie pushed his hips up between Hobi’s legs.

“I know how to get you every time,” he smiled. He licked down Kookie’s jaw without moving his hand. He felt his breathing start to get more shallow. Hobi let go of Kookie’s neck & released his head.

“Are you going to be a good Baby Dom & take your clothes off or am I going to have to take them off you?”

“What do you think?” Kookie replied.

“It’ll be a shame to rip those pants,” Hobi reached down between his legs & undid Kookie’s jeans. He pulled out Kookie’s cock & started stroking it.

“Take off my shirt,”

Kookie sat up more & pulled off Hobi’s shirt.

“Now yours,” he sped up & Kookie gasped.

“I said take off your shirt,”

Kookie clumsily pulled off his shirt as Hobi continued to massage his dick.

“Now let me sit here & think,” Hobi said. Kookie squirmed under him. “Problem?”

“No,” Kookie replied.

“Okay. I thought you might be...uncomfortable,” Hobi stopped to massage the underside of the tip with his thumb. Kookie threw his head back & groaned.

“There it is. Now that I’ve got you all worked up, I’m going to pound you so hard that you’ll be sore until we leave. Sound good?”

“Stop talking & start fucking me, Hobi,” Kookie looked at him.

“Don’t make me finish you like this Baby Dom because I will,” he said, massaging Kookie’s cock again.

“Fine. Fine,” Kookie breathed. Hobi let go & got off Kookie. He grabbed his shirt & rolled it up. Kookie was on all fours waiting for him.

“You better not come until I tell you to,” Hobi leaned next to Kookie’s head after he thrust into him. Kookie ground his ass back onto Hobi’s cock.

“Then make it good,” he replied. Hobi looped the shirt over Kookie’s neck.  
“Have I ever not?” he slapped Kookie’s ass & began pounding him. Kookie clawed at the floor & kept grinding his ass back onto Hobi. Hobi pulled on the shirt & Kookie dropped his chin to increase the pressure.

“Harder,” Kookie grunted.

“Nope,” Hobi replied. Kookie started pounding his ass back onto Hobi’s cock.

“If you don’t like my technique, I can stop. Then you’ll just be left hanging & what about poor Tae?” Hobi said. It was a low blow.

“Don’t talk about him,” Kookie looked over his shoulder.

“Then behave yourself,” Hobi jerked the shirt for emphasis. He started pounding him again, but sped up nonetheless. Kookie went back to moaning & fighting. Ultimately this was for Tae. Kookie just refused to think about it when he had someone else’s cock in his ass. Hobi reached down & grabbed Kookie’s cock.

“Hold still,” he hissed. Kookie stopped moving. His chest was heaving, he was sweating, & was teetering on the edge of coming. Hobi loosely held on to Kookie’s cock & put the tip between his index & middle fingers. He slowly alternated moving one finger up then the other. Kookie gasped & his arms almost gave out.

“Fuck,” he panted.

“Now you can come,” Hobi let go of his dick, thrust into him one last time, & tightened the shirt around his neck. Kookie violently came. He pounded his ass against Hobi’s cock. His shoulders shook from how hard he was scratching at the carpet. He’d arched his back to increase the pressure on the shirt. He was making noises that Hobi had never heard come out of a human being during sex. He collapsed completely off Hobi’s dick when he finished. Hobi knelt there watching the panting, spent mess on the floor. Kookie had caught him on the way to the shower. He’d just jack himself off in there before he went to bed. Kookie was useless now. Hobi picked up his shirt & patted Kookie on the back.

“Good talk,”

Then he left to go shower.

**10:25pm**

Tae walked past Hobi & Jimin’s room on his way to the living room. The door was closed, but the light was still on. Kookie had obviously caught Hobi either coming or going from the bathroom. Tae pushed the door open. Jimin was asleep. Tae quietly walked toward the bed.

“J…” he whispered.

Jimin stirred & looked up.

“What is it, Tae?”

“Can I get in bed with you for a little bit? Kookie & Hobi are...you know,” he said.

“Sure,” Jimin pulled the covers back & Tae got in next to him. He hugged Jimin & rested his head under Jimin’s chin.

“It’s not easy,” Jimin said, rubbing his back. Tae shook his head.

“Why does it have to be like this?”

“He doesn’t want to hurt you. Ironically, it’s because he loves you,”

“Hobi never did this to you,” Tae said.

“Hobi did his fair share of things he wishes he could take back,” Jimin replied.

“What does Hobi do when he & Kookie finish?”

“Showers & then comes to bed. Why?” Jimin looked down at him.

“Kookie cries sometimes. Not all the time. I know he enjoys it, but it’s like he doesn’t when it’s over. I can’t explain it,” Tae said.

“I don’t think he likes that he likes that stuff,” Jimin said.

“Do you like it?”

“Being choked? No,”

“What does he do with you?” Tae looked up at him.

“How much do you want to know?”

“All of it. I guess,”

“The worst he's ever done is bitten me. He’s never choked me. I made him handcuff me before I let him go back to you,” he said.

“Why handcuff you?”

“So I couldn’t easily defend myself if he tried to choke me. I made it hard on him before I let him go. He fought every last instinct to get you back. That’s why he cries when he comes back to you. He can’t fight it all,” Jimin gave him a squeeze.

“You & Hobi have it easy,”

Jimin laughed.

“We’re a mess. I think you & Kookie are better off than we ever were,”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You two are what Hobi & I should’ve been. Or what I wanted us to be,” Jimin replied. Tae settled with his head back under Jimin’s chin. Jimin hugged him back.

“I’m sorry you don’t feel good,”

“I’ll be fine. I’m sure once we get there, I’ll feel better,” Jimin said.

“Well if you ever want to talk,” Tae said.

“Thank you,”

**11:42pm**

When Hobi came back into the room after his shower, he saw Jimin & Tae asleep in the bed. Jimin was sleeping on his back with his arms wrapped around Tae. Tae had his head under Jimin’s chin & his arms around Jimin’s shoulders. Hobi smiled to himself. Jimin really could fix anything.

He turned out the light, pulled the door closed, & went down to Yoongi’s room for the night.

**September 28, 2018**  
**7:20am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“You didn’t come to bed last night,” Kookie said to Tae when Tae walked back into their room.

“I fell asleep in Hobi & Jimin’s room,” he replied.

“You said you were going to be on the couch,” Kookie said.

“Maybe I decided to talk to Jimin instead since you were busy,” Tae snapped.

“Was there something you wanted to talk about last night?”

“No,”

“Then why are you snapping at me?”

“I don’t know! I’m frustrated & tired & upset & have no idea how I feel about anything anymore!” Tae balled up his shirt & angrily threw it into the closet.

“Does that include me?” Kookie asked quietly.

“I love you, Kookie. I just don’t like you very much right now,”

“What does that mean?”

“I didn’t appreciate getting kicked out of my room with no notice last night,” Tae told him.

“I’m sorry, but Jimin was already asleep & you know he isn’t doing well,” Kookie said. Then he stopped. “You know what? Nothing I say is going to change it or fix it so, I’m sorry.”

“Fine,” Tae said & went to look for clean clothes.

“You know what I had him to do to me? I had him fuck me on the floor. I had him choke me. I made him pound me as hard as he could. He started to jerk me off while he was fucking me, but he wouldn’t let me come without his permission. Yes, I liked it. Yes, I asked for it. I did it for you. If I didn’t do it, then the next time we had sex, I might not have been able to stop myself. I might have done something to you that I couldn’t take back. I love you more than I love myself, Tae. I wasn’t willing to risk that. At all,” Kookie was shaking by the time he finished talking. Tae was stunned.

“What would you have done?” Tae asked slowly.

“I don’t know. Nothing good,” he replied. “You may not like me very much right now, but I did it to keep you safe.”

Tae didn’t know what to say. He simply stood there & stared at Kookie.

“You love me that much?”

Kookie nodded. Tae stepped over & kissed him.  
“Why?”

“You’re amazing. You’re wonderful. You’re sexy. You’re everything I wish I was. Is that enough?”

“Sure,” Tae smiled. “You think I’m sexy?”

“So fucking sexy,” Kookie put his hand on the back of his neck & kissed him. “And standing there without your shirt on isn’t helping at all.”

“What are you implying?”

“Would you please fuck me before we have to leave?”

“Is this what make up sex is?”

“I dunno. We haven’t had it yet,” Kookie grinned.

“Aren’t you sore?”

“I’ll live,”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive,” Kookie kissed Tae’s nose. Tae put one hand on the back of Kookie’s neck & the other one on his hip. He kissed him with the fire of someone who was still slightly mad at his partner, but more inclined to forgive him. Kookie grabbed Tae’s ass & picked him up. Tae wrapped his legs around Kookie’s waist & his arms around his neck. Kookie shifted to holding him with just one arm & ran a hand down Tae’s back. The feeling of Tae’s skin under his hand made Kookie moan a little. God, he loved his body so much.

“Are you sure you don’t want to fuck me instead?” Tae whispered in his ear. Kookie felt his knees go weak.

“Don’t do that to me, baby,” he whispered back.

“What?”

“Get me even hotter,” he deeply inhaled the scent of Tae’s hair.

“But I love it so much when you’re so hot that you can’t stand it. When you can’t wait to take me. When I know you want me,” he breathed.

“I always want you,”

“When you want to fuck me. When you want to have complete control over me. I love it when you want me like that,”

“Fuck, baby, you’re going to make me come right now if you keep that up,”

“Then put me down & fuck me like I know you want to, baby,” Tae kissed him. Kookie moaned again. He put Tae down.

“Get on the bed, you sassy bitch,”

“Of course,” Tae took off his shorts & dropped them on the floor. Kookie could feel his pulse in his cock he was so hard. Tae got on the bed & waited for Kookie. Kookie entered him & leaned over.

“I assume you don’t want me to hold back?”

“You heard me. Fuck me like you know you want to,” Tae smiled.

“Okay,” Kookie replied. He grabbed Tae’s waist & started pounding him. Tae started groaning & ground his ass into Kookie’s crotch. Kookie sped up & he saw Tae grab the sheets & start panting.

“That’s it,” he gasped. Kookie tightened his grip on Tae’s waist & went as hard as he could. Tae squirmed & pushed below him. He felt himself getting close. Tae was starting to twitch around his dick. He reached down & grabbed Tae’s cock. He tried the 2 finger trick that Hobi had used on him the night before. Tae made a coughing sound, then came. Kookie switched to using his whole hand on his dick while he thrust into him as he was coming. Tae shook & screamed. If anyone in the house was still asleep, they wouldn’t be after this. Tae’s arms gave out completely when he finished & he fell forward. Kookie caught him with one arm & lowered them down. He thrust a few more times then came. He pushed his face into Tae’s back to try & muffle himself. He wasn’t sure how successful he was. He rolled off once he finished. Tae was smiling at him.

“Better than me fucking you?”

“So much,”

“I love you, baby,”

“I love you more,” Kookie replied.


	5. Early October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background music (if you’re so inclined):
> 
> “Silver Spoon” BTS  
> “America’s Sweetheart” Elle King  
> “Like a G6” Far East Movement  
> “Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time” Panic at the Disco!

**October 2, 2018**   
**7:45pm**   
**Los Angeles, California**

The front desk person handed them 7 keys inside of 4.

“Why are there 7?” Tae asked Namjoon. He repeated the question. She looked at him like he had 3 heads.

“You all have your own rooms,” she replied. Namjoon translated for them. This was going to be a long trip.

They looked at each other. Own rooms? How was that possible? They’d always shared rooms. Hell, at one point they’d all been in the same room.

“Excuse me,” someone said behind them. They moved their flabbergasted selves out of the way.

“Own rooms?” Kookie repeated.

“I didn’t know we could afford that,” Namjoon said.

“Let’s go,” Jin said. They went over to the elevators. Jimin pushed the button for their floor. The elevator beeped angrily at him. He pushed it again.

“You need to swipe your card,” the other person in elevator said. Namjoon leaned over & swiped his card. They went all the way to the top floor.

“What the hell…?” Yoongi said as they got out of the elevator. Not only did they have their own rooms, they had the view from the top. Hobi had the first key, so they went into that room first. It was bigger than their living room at home. Forget being in a different country. They were in a different world. Tae went over to window.

“Kookie! Look at this!”

Kookie hung back. He was holding onto Jimin’s hand so hard his knuckles were turning white.

“What’s wrong?” Jimin asked.

“I don’t like heights,” he scooted closer to Jimin.

“It’ll be fine. The windows aren’t going to give out,” he said. Kookie shook his head.

“Tae,” Jimin said. Tae turned around & saw that Kookie had gone almost completely white. Tae came bounding back over to Kookie like a puppy to his new owner.

“It’s okay. You can sleep by the door,” Jimin handed Kookie over to Tae. Kookie grabbed him & Tae grunted.

“What if I want this room?” Hobi said.

“I’m pretty sure they’re all the same,” Yoongi said.

“You don’t know that,”

“It’s a hotel, genius. Of course they’re all the same,”

“Children,” Jin said.

“Sorry Mom,” Hobi stuck his tongue out at Jin.

_I can’t wait for that tongue to be on me_ Jimin thought.

“I don’t know about the rest of you, but I need a nap,” Namjoon said. They’d spent 11 hours on a plane & were contending with an even longer time change in reverse. It was 8pm on Tuesday night, but their internal clocks were telling them it was noon on Wednesday.

“I don’t care what room I have as long as it has a bed. And none of you in it,” Yoongi said.

“Shut up,” Hobi said. Jin glared at them.

“I’ll stay in here since Kookie is clearly convinced the window is going to eat him,” Hobi said.

“Be nice,” Tae snapped. Kookie was still hanging onto Tae for dear life.

“That’s fine with me,” Jimin stepped in.

“See you jackasses later,” Yoongi waved as he left. Hobi flipped off his back.

“Let’s go,” Tae said to Kookie. He worked an arm loose & put it on the small of Kookie’s back. Kookie nodded.

“Feel better,” Jimin said as they left.

“Good night,” Namjoon said. Hobi & Jimin waved as he & Jin left.

“Finally,” Hobi kissed Jimin. Jimin giggled.

“You’re not tired?” he asked.

“I am, but I want you more,” he replied.

“How about a shower? I feel like plane,” Jimin suggested.

“Sounds amazing,” Hobi slid his hands down Jimin’s back toward his ass.

“Not yet Mr Handsy,” Jimin poked his nose.

“Tease,” Hobi moved his hands back to Jimin’s hips.

“Soon. I promise,” he replied. He kissed Hobi again.

“I’m going to warm up the water. Can’t have my prince taking a cold shower. In the meantime, you have too many clothes on,” he kissed Jimin’s jaw.

“Do I?” Jimin asked, giving Hobi his best troublemaking smile.

“Don’t make me take them off you. I love those pants on you & I’d hate to rip them,” Hobi began unbuttoning Jimin’s shirt.

“I’m not overly fond of those pants on you. You always dress like a slob when we travel,” Jimin hooked his thumbs in the waistband of Hobi’s sweats.

“Rude,” Hobi said as he tossed the shirt on the bed.

“Aren’t you supposed to be warming up the water for your prince?”

“My prince won’t let me leave to do it,” Hobi smiled.

“Fine,” Jimin sighed as he took off Hobi’s pants. “Off you go.”

“Thank you,” he went into the bathroom. Jimin took off the rest of his clothes & went into the bathroom.

“Check this shit out,” Hobi said. Jimin looked in the shower. It had 2 shower heads.

“Wow,” Jimin said.

“We’re not going to know what to do with ourselves when we get home,” he said.

“We are not,” Jimin agreed. They got in the shower & Jimin noticed the sides were different temperatures.

“I made one side not scalding hot,” Hobi said.

“You will be spoiled,” Jimin was notorious for taking all the hot water.

“Like you,” Hobi kissed him.

“Whose fault is that?”

“I guess Doms aren’t mean all the time after all,” Hobi replied.

“Apparently not,” Jimin ran a finger down Hobi’s chest. He kissed him deeply. He took Hobi’s hands & put them on his ass. Hobi groaned.

“I love you,”

“You just love my ass,”

“That too,” Hobi gave it a squeeze for emphasis. “What does my prince desire?”

“Use those hands for something other than grabbing my ass,” Jimin flicked his tongue on the tip of Hobi’s nose as he leaned against the wall.

“Mmmm, I love the way you think, too,” he moved one hand up next to Jimin’s head & grabbed his cock with the other one. Jimin was already hard. Jimin stared straight at him. Hobi wrapped his entire hand around the shaft. He moved slowly, staring back back at Jimin. Jimin’s breathing had already sped up. Hobi made an O with his fingers & made short strokes on just the tip. Jimin twitched & grunted, but didn’t break eye contact. This wasn’t just hot, it was full on erotic. Hobi ran one finger along the underside & stopped to massage the bump right below the tip. Jimin gasped & had to hold onto Hobi’s arm, but refused to stop looking at him.

“Stubborn, aren’t you?” Hobi smiled.

“You know it,” Jimin breathed.

“Should I finish you now?”

“I don’t know. Should you?”

“I love it when you get sassy,” Hobi kissed him & with a few powerful strokes, Jimin came. He didn’t have to worry about Jin yelling at them for being too loud. He dug his fingers into Hobi’s arm & maintained eye contact until he couldn’t anymore. Hobi held him up after he finished.

“You’re gorgeous when you’re coming,” he said.

“No one looks good when they’re coming,” Jimin leaned his head against the wall.

“Well you do,” Hobi nuzzled the side of Jimin’s head. “And you won’t convince me otherwise.”

“Fine,”

“Feel less like plane now?”

“You don’t want anything?”

“I’m good. Watching you is enough. Or I’ll wake you up,” he grinned.

“I think you know better than to do that,” Jimin replied.

“True. Regardless, I’m ready to go to sleep now,” Hobi said.

“Me too,”

They got out & dried off. Hobi went back into the bedroom to get the bed ready. When he went back into the bathroom, Jimin had a towel wrapped around his waist & he was drying his hair. Hobi leaned against the doorframe & marveled at how someone so beautiful, so perfect could love him. He’d treated Jimin like crap for most of their relationship. He hadn’t meant to. Yoongi had shared an adage with him - “The road to hell was paved with good intentions”. He’d always meant to treat Jimin well. He’d never really succeeded. Jimin loved him anyway. He was lucky that Jimin had stuck with him. Jimin had said that Hobi’s method of communication was to yell when he got frustrated with someone. Jimin had learned to accept it & move on. Hobi had never seen it in himself. Maybe Jimin saw that Hobi had the best intentions. Or maybe he was just as crazy as Hobi was.

“You’re staring,” Jimin said, looking at him in the mirror.

“Just admiring how beautiful you are,” Hobi smiled. He walked over & wrapped his arms around Jimin’s waist.

“You flatter me,” Jimin said.

“Only telling the truth,” Hobi kissed his ear. He started slowly rocking side to side. “I hope to always have you, Jiminie.”

“I hope to have you, too, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

**8:10pm**

Tae led a shaking Kookie to the room across the hall. Tae rubbed his back.

“I didn’t know you were afraid of heights,” he said.

“Neither did I,” Kookie replied. The balcony at the house was only 1 floor up. If you jumped off of it & landed correctly, then you’d probably only have sore knees for a few days. They were 35 floors up with a clear view of the Los Angeles skyline & the ground below it.

“Here, sit down,” Tae managed to get Kookie on the bed & went over to close the curtains. “There we go.”

Kookie curled up & hugged his knees. Tae sat next to him & kissed his ear.

“We can leave the curtains closed. There are plenty of lamps,” he said. Kookie nodded. “Come on.”

Tae kicked off his shoes & took off his shirt. He patted the bed. Kookie took off his shoes & shirt & lied down. Tae got behind him & hugged him.

“What’s the matter, baby?”

“I don’t like it here,”

“I can ask if they can put us on a different floor,”

“No, here here,” Kookie said, burrowing closer into Tae’s body.

“We’ve only been here for 2 hours,” Tae said.

“I don’t like that I can’t understand anybody. I don’t like not being able to read stuff. I don’t like feeling like I don’t know what’s going on,” he replied.

“Namjoon can help us. We can learn,” Tae rested his chin on Kookie’s shoulder.“I feel stupid. And I’m afraid of heights,” Kookie sighed.

“It’ll be okay. Like I said, we can get Namjoon to help us. You know he’s been trying to get us to learn English anyway,” Tae told him.

“I know, but people already think I’m stupid,”

“Then they think I’m stupid, too. We can be stupid together,” Tae kissed the back of Kookie’s neck.

_Oops_. Kookie turned his head to look at Tae.

“Don’t get me started on that,” he said.

“I know. I wasn’t paying attention. I’m tired,” Tae replied.

“I’m too upset to enjoy it anyway,” Kookie sighed. “Any of it.”

“That’s okay. We don’t have to do anything,”

Kookie rolled over to face Tae.

“I love you,”

“I love you more,” Tae kissed him. Kookie pulled Tae toward him. He wrapped one leg around Tae’s leg.

“I thought you didn’t want to do anything,”

“Making out with you doesn’t count. It makes me feel better,” Kookie replied.

“In that case,” Tae kissed him harder. He ran his hands down Kookie’s arms. His crazy solid & toned arms. Jimin may have gotten to borrow them, but they were his. All of Kookie was his. And he was Kookie’s. Kookie put one of his hands on the back of Tae’s head & the other one on his ass.

“Hobi can keep Jimin’s ass. I like yours better,” Kookie breathed.

“I’m keeping your abs,” Tae replied.

“You know no one has abs like mine,” he said.

“Exactly,” Tae smiled. He rolled over on top of Kookie.

“Don’t ever let anyone tell you’re stupid, baby. You’re amazing,” Tae kissed his nose.

“Thank you,” Kookie tucked that unruly piece of hair behind Tae’s ear.

“Feeling better?” Tae asked.

“You tell me,” Kookie took Tae’s hand & put it on his crotch. He was almost painfully hard.

“What do you want to do?”

“What do you want to do?” Kookie countered.

“I want you to make love to me. Not fuck me. Not have sex with me. Make love to me,” Tae put his lips next to Kookie’s ear, lowering his already deep voice even more.

“How do I do that?” Kookie asked.

“Remember that thing Jimin did your first time?”

“Yeah…”

“Do that,” Tae told him.

“Of course,” Kookie kissed him. Tae got on his back & Kookie took a second to figure how Jimin did it. There was a lot to move out of the way. He didn’t want to squish anything. _Just don’t lean over too far_. He slid into Tae. It was completely different angle & a completely different feeling. Tae smiled up at him.

“You okay?” Kookie asked.

“Perfect,”

Kookie started slowly. He had to use his arms which he wasn’t used to. However, he got to look at Tae & he never got to do that. He kept going slowly. He wasn’t 100% sure of the definition of “making love”, but he figured keeping it slow was a safe bet. He’d felt like complete & utter shit an hour ago. Now he was looking down at the love of his life who’d made him feel better just by being who he was. He didn’t need to Dom him. He didn’t need him to Sub for him. All he needed was to be with him. Tae moaned & adjusted himself on Kookie’s cock. He’d obviously done something right. He grabbed onto Kookie’s arms.

“I have no idea what you’re doing down there, but keep doing it,” he pressed his head back against the pillow.

“Of course, baby,”

Kookie had no idea what he’d done, but he kept going at the same pace. Tae’s perfect dick was right below him, begging for attention. Kookie shifted his weight & wrapped his hand around his shaft. Tae gasped.

“Oh god,”

“Good?”

“Yes,” he grabbed the pillows around him. _Why did hotels have so many damn pillows?_

Kookie’s arm was getting tired from holding most of his weight. He was determined to make Tae come before his arm gave out. With one well timed thrust & squeeze, Tae came. Kookie came at the same time. He was vaguely aware of the concept of a simultaneous orgasm, but he didn’t think they were real. Until he was very much in the middle of one. Through some minor miracle, he hung onto Tae until he finished. He pulled out & fell to the side.

“Was that what you wanted?” he asked.

“Everything & more,” Tae reached over & squeezed Kookie’s hand. Kookie smiled.

“Good,”

**11pm**

“I thought I’d give one of these a try since we’re not paying,” Yoongi said lighting the cigar. “Want one?”

“I’m good,” Hobi said as he sat down. “What’s that?” There was a fancy glass bottle sitting on the table next to Yoongi.

“The most expensive scotch I could find on the room service menu,”

“And you’re drinking it out of a paper cup?”

“Adds a certain caché, don’t you think?”

“You are literally the only person who could drink $300 scotch out of a paper cup & not look like a complete idiot,” Hobi said.

“And that, my good man, is the Suga Charm hard at work,” Yoongi pointed at him as he took a sip. Hobi rolled his eyes.

“How is it?”

“Eh, I wouldn’t pay $300 for it,” he shrugged & handed a cup to Hobi. “Where’s your better half?”

“Asleep. He’s still getting over the time change,” Hobi took a sip. “You’re right. I wouldn’t pay that much money for this.”

“Maybe we’re both just classless bastards,” Yoongi took a drag off the cigar.

“We have an entire song about it. Minus the bastard part,”

“I suppose we do,”

They sat there in silence for a few minutes. The LA skyline wasn’t that different than the Seoul skyline in the grand scheme of things. Hobi hadn’t gotten over the time change either, but he was powering through it. He was surprised Yoongi was actually awake.

“Ever wonder how you ended up here?”

“No. We took a plane,” Yoongi said, giving the cigar a suspicious look.

“You know what I mean,”

“You mean having no money to smoking cigars on the penthouse level of a hotel in LA?” he asked.

“Yeah. Why us? Why not someone else?”

Yoongi shrugged.

“It’s not like we sat on our asses. In fact, we work them off. I’m amazed you have enough energy for the amount of sex you have after some of our workdays,” Yoongi put the cigar down & pulled out his pack of cigarettes to light one.

“Not worth it?”

“Nope. Just an uncultured swine,” he grinned.

“Is that part of the Suga Charm, too?” Hobi asked as he put the drink down.

“It’s a whole package really,”

“I’m amazed no one has snapped you up,”

“Haven’t found the perfect desert island yet,” Yoongi winked.

“Right. How could I forget?”

“Dehydrated from all the sex?”

“Shut up,” Hobi glared at him.

“It’s a perfectly reasonable assumption,”

“Why am I friends with you again?”

“Why do you always ask me that?”

They looked at each other & laughed.

**October 3, 2018**   
**11:47pm**   
**Los Angeles, California**

“Here’s to a successful first show!” Hobi popped open the bottle of champagne. They’d all congregated in Jin & Namjoon’s room. Yoongi, being Yoongi, had ordered 7 bottles of champagne up to their room.

“What is it they say over here? Cheers?” Tae opened his bottle.

“Cheers!” the rest of them yelled. Kookie took a giant swig out of his bottle & half of it ran down his chin. They laughed.

“You didn’t say it would be this bubbly!”

“It’s champagne. Of course it’s bubbly,” Yoongi rolled his eyes. Jin & Namjoon were on the couch. Namjoon had his arm around Jin’s shoulders. Jimin was sitting in Hobi’s lap in one of the chairs. Kookie & Tae were stretched out on the floor & Yoongi was in the other chair. Jimin took a delicate sip out of his bottle after seeing Kookie’s mishap. Hobi absentmindedly rubbed Jimin’s back as he drank his.

“I can’t remember the last time we did this,” Namjoon said.

“Drank champagne out of the bottle?” Tae said.

“No. Sat around like a family. We always seem to go our separate ways these days,”

“Blame these horndogs,” Yoongi pointed in the maknae line & Hobi’s direction.

“I’m not blaming anybody. Just making an observation,” Namjoon said.

“I miss it, too,” Kookie said, taking a much smaller sip this time. Tae scooted over & pulled Kookie’s arm over his shoulders. Kookie kissed the side of his head.

“Well, we’re doing it right now,” Jin said.

“Did you hear how nuts everyone went when Kookie lifted his shirt?” Hobi said.

“I thought the floor was going to give out,” Kookie laughed.

“If only they knew,” Tae looked up at him.

“That’s what makes it fun,” he said.

“They seemed to like it when I put my hand up my shirt,” Jimin pointed out.

“Also true, but what's under that shirt is mine,” Hobi gave him a squeeze.

“We don’t have to worry about that,” Jin looked at Namjoon.

“Not my style,” he took a sip & kissed Jin’s cheek.

“I’m going to barf & it’s not from the champagne,” Yoongi said. They all burst out laughing.

“It’s okay Yoongi. We still love you,” Tae said.

“Then keep your cutesy shit in the bedroom,” he poked Tae with his foot. More laughter. They were all starting to get a little drunk. They hadn’t had much to eat since they got back & they’d never had champagne before. Namjoon was right. It had been a long time since they sat around as a family just shooting the shit. It felt good to poke fun at each other & laugh over the smallest thing. Life was good in that moment.

**October 4, 2018**   
**7:15am**   
**Los Angeles, California**

“Where are we going?” Hobi yawned. He & Jimin had another late night / early morning after the show. Sleep had been an afterthought. Yoongi handed him a disposable coffee cup. They’d gathered in Jin & Namjoon’s room again. It had become the unofficial meeting place.

“Min Yoongi Special?” he asked.

“What else would it be?” Yoongi gave him the ‘Are you a complete idiot?’ look. Hobi took a sip. He was actually starting to enjoy the combination of coffee & whiskey. Kind of.

“The Ellen Show,” Namjoon checked his notes. “Now, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but things are a little different over here.”

“How do you mean?” Tae asked.

“Not that anyone is more accepting of our...life choices...at home, but we can’t be seen touching each other,” Namjoon said.

“Like at all?” Kookie said.

“No holding hands, no back rubs, no sitting on each other unless we’re told to, definitely no kissing,” he listed. They all looked at each other.

“So nothing,” Jimin said.

“Unfortunately yes,” Namjoon confirmed.

“Great. You’re all going to fuck like rabbits the second we get back,” Yoongi pulled out a cigarette.

“Hey, not in the room,” Jin pulled it out of his mouth.

“I’m going to need another Min Yoongi Special,” Hobi said.

“No. You’re a handsy drunk,” Jimin said. Hobi smacked Jimin’s ass as if to illustrate the point.

“I can’t sit next to him & not hold his hand,” Tae said.

“I’ve put together a seating chart that should hopefully solve that,” Namjoon said. Jin checked his phone.

“Ride is here,” he said.

“This blows,” Kookie muttered.

“You would know,” Yoongi said. Hobi punched him in the arm. Yoongi did his version of a giggle.

“There is one perk to no one understanding us,” Hobi said.

“What’s that?” Jimin asked.

“We can talk shit about them,” he grinned.

“Why do you have no manners?”

“It’s one of the reasons you love me,” he kissed him.

“Everybody get the kisses & groping & such out of your system now,” Namjoon said.

“Gross,” Yoongi averted his eyes.

“We’re gonna be late,” Jin said.

They spilled into the van trying not to touch their partner either intentionally or accidentally. Hobi finished his coffee in one gulp & leaned his head back on the headrest. Kookie was right - this blew. And not at all in the fun way. Everyone else looked equally miserable. Even Yoongi looked crankier than usual.

“Look, we have to at least pretend we’re happy to be here,” Namjoon said. “Stop looking like a bunch of sulky kids.”

“We don’t have a show tonight. We can go back to the hotel after we’re done filming this,” Jin added.

“Fine,” came 4 annoyed sighs.

“You’d think somebody was threatening to cut your dicks off. It’s not a big deal,” Yoongi huffed. When they got there, Namjoon got out first.

“Please *try* to smile,” he said. Hobi smirked at him. Namjoon heaved a sigh. It was going to be a very long trip indeed. When they walked in, one of the crew was standing next to a petite blonde. Even in heels she was half a head shorter than Jimin & Yoongi.

“This is Julia Candler. She’ll be your translator for the show,”

“You can call me Jac,” she extended her hand to Namjoon.

“Jac?”

“Julia Anne Candler. I’m not exactly a Julia Anne,” she smiled. Namjoon shook her hand. “The rest of your merry band?” she added in Korean. They all looked at her like she turned into a newt right before their eyes.

“Yeah…” Jin said slowly.

“And?” she looked at him.

“Kim Seokjin, But you can call me Jin,”

She looked at Jimin.

“Park Jimin,” He looked like she might bite at any second. And not in the fun way.

“Min Yoongi,” He looked right at her. She looked right back.

“Jung Hoseok. Or Hobi, if you like,”

“Hobi,” she repeated.

Tae unconsciously moved toward Kookie & brushed his hand. Kookie pulled it away.

“Jeon Jungkook,”

“Ah, the _Golden Maknae_ ,” she said.

“How’d you know that?” he asked.

“I can use Google just as well as the next person,” she smiled. She looked at Tae.

“Kim Taehyung. Or Tae. I guess,”

“You guess or you know?”

“Tae is fine,”

“Tae it is then. I don’t believe I caught your name,” she looked at Namjoon.

“Kim Namjoon. I suppose you could call me the leader,” he told her. Jac surveyed them with a raised eyebrow. It rivaled Yoongi’s.

“Awfully non-committal, aren’t you?” she said. They all looked at each other.

“We aren’t used to being interrogated by a tiny American,” Yoongi said. Jac laughed. It sounded like it was coming from someone twice her size.

“You’ll get used to it,” she said.

“How old are you even?” Tae asked.

“Tae!” Jin elbowed him in the ribs.

“It’s fine. I’m 27. In human years. I’m well aware of your wackyass age system,” she said. “By the way, I cuss a lot.”

“No problem,” Yoongi shrugged.

“How’d you end up as a translator for a show like this when you’re not even 30?” Hobi asked.

“Money, but that’s another story for another time. I believe it’s time to get yourselves prettied up,” she turned around & started walking away. They had to scramble to catch up with her. They didn’t really associate with many women in Korea for a number of reasons. This was their first real interaction with a woman of any origin who wasn’t either on the staff or working on a set of some kind. They all couldn’t help but feel like they’d been thrown in the deep end.  
She stopped & looked at them.

“Your dressing room is that way,” she pointed down the hall.

“Thanks,” Namjoon said.

“See you out there,” she smiled & disappeared into the room.

“I...who...what?” Kookie asked as they got out of earshot of the door.

“I like her. She’s feisty,” Hobi said.

“She’s lucky she’s not a dude or you’d be all over her,” Yoongi said. Hobi glared at him.

“Does she talk to everybody like that?” Tae asked.

“Probably,” Namjoon said.

“This is going to be interesting,” Jimin said.

“No shit,” Yoongi added.

When they were ushered out on the stage, Jac was already there. She was dressed in a black knee length skirt, a white blouse, & the heels she’d been wearing earlier. Her hair was pinned up in a bun & she’d crossed her legs at the ankles. If they didn’t know any better, they would’ve assumed she was just another translator. They knew better. She flashed them a demure smile as they sat.

“She’s good,” Hobi leaned over to Yoongi.

“Yes, yes she is,” he agreed.

The seating arrangement Namjoon came up with was him, Tae, Hobi, & Yoonji on the couch & Jimin, Jin, & Kookie on the stools behind them. They let the crowd in a few minutes later & the screams were bordering on deafening. Hobi smiled a little to himself. _The joke is truly on you, ladies._

Ellen came out & introduced herself to Namjoon. She explained some of the interview process to him & he passed it along to the others. Then the filming started.

“If you could introduce yourselves,” Ellen said.

“I’m RM,” Namjoon waved. He looked over & saw Jac raise an eyebrow.

“I’m V,” Tae flashed what looked like a reverse peace sign.

“I’m your hope. Your my hope. I’m JHope,” Hobi put on the cheesiest grin he could muster. Jac almost choked from laughing. She masked it with a cough.

“I’m Suga,” Yoongi gave an uninterested half wave.

“I’m Jimin,” he gave an awkward wave.

“I’m Jin. Worldwide Handsome,”

Jac coughed again.

“I’m Jungkook,” Kookie looked bored as shit.

“Now I brought a translator, but I understand you speak English,” Ellen looked at Namjoon. She asked them a few more questions with Namjoon lobbing a few at the others.

“Now the one everyone wants to know. Have you ever hooked up with a fan?” she asked.

“We don’t really get to meet many fans,” Namjoon replied, knowing full well what she meant.

“You know what I mean,” she said. He looked at Jac. She sighed.

“Have you ever hooked up with a fan?” she repeated. They all just stared at her.

“You know what I mean,” Ellen looked at her. Jac looked at Namjoon.

“Have you ever fucked a fan?”

Six looks of abject horror.

“No!” Tae about threw himself off the couch to deny it. The rest of them vigorously shook their heads. Jac smirked at Namjoon as if to say ‘You threw the wrong girl under the bus’. Namjoon inclined his head.

_Well played._

They finished the interview & Jac got up to leave.

“Not going to watch the performance?” Kookie asked.

“You actually want me to stick around?”

“Everyone wants to watch us,” he said.

“I bet they do,” she smiled. “Sure. I’ll watch.”

**6:15pm**

Namjoon had just gotten Jin’s shirt off when the phone rang.

“Ignore it,” Jin kissed him.

“It’s the front desk,” Namjoon looked down at the caller ID.

“If it’s that important, they’ll call back,” he put his hand down Namjoon’s pants.

“Fine,” Namjoon said. He pulled Jin closer. “I didn’t think I’d be this horny not being able to touch you today.”

“Even old married couples have to get it on periodically,” Jin replied.

“Are we that old?” Namjoon asked as he kissed Jin’s neck.

“Everything’s relative,” he squeezed Namjoon’s dick.

The phone rang again.

“Goddammit,” Namjoon sighed. He leaned over & picked up the phone. Jin tickled the under side of Namjoon’s cock. “Stop it.”

“Am I interrupting something?”

It was Jac.

“Actually yes,” Namjoon replied.

“Well, have your fun & call me back. I wanted to take y’all out to dinner,” she said.

“I don’t have your number,” he said.

“I left it at the front desk,” she replied. “Tell Jin hi for me.”

“How did you…?”

“See ya,” And she hung up.

“Who was that?” Jin asked.

“Jac. She wants to take us to dinner. All of us,” he said. “She says hi by the way.”

“How did she know?”

“I have no idea,” he shook his head.

“Regardless, I’m not done with you,” Jin told him.

“Is that so?”

“Nope,” Jin unzipped Namjoon’s pants.

“That’s better,”

“Agreed,” They wrestled out of the rest of their clothes & Jin got on top.

“I don’t think we’ve ever had sex in an expensive hotel,” he said.

“I don’t think we’ve had sex in a hotel at all,” Namjoon replied.

“Finally, something exotic for us!” Jin laughed.

“Hush. I like boring,” Namjoon kissed him.

“Me too,”

“Over you go,” Jin said.

“Oh is that how we’re playing it?”

“There are plenty more hotels,” Jin smiled. “And I’m older.”

“You win. This time,” Namjoon said as he rolled over.

“Good,”

He didn’t care what the others said. They really didn’t need handcuffs or spanking to have a fulfilling sex life. They just needed each other, Jin thought as he entered Namjoon. He heard Namjoon purr.

“Ah, I’ve missed that sound,” Jin said.

“I’ve missed this feeling,” Namjoon replied. Jin started rocking back & forth & Namjoon followed. They kept time with each other, simply enjoying the feeling. Jin felt himself start to twitch. He gasped as he came, forcing himself to not make any noise. Namjoon followed, but didn’t try as hard to stay quiet. Once they were lying down again, Jin gave Namjoon a look.

“What? We’re in a hotel. We don’t need to be quiet. Like I said, you were a screamer in your younger days,” he smiled. Jin wrinkled his nose. That meant he thought Namjoon was right.

“Next time,” he said.

“You better,” Namjoon rolled on his stomach & kissed him.

“You gonna call Jac back?”

“Why not? We could use a little fresh air & sunshine,” he said.

“It’s 7pm,”

“Stop being logical. You know what I mean,”

“I love you too, Joon,” he blew him a kiss.

**7:38pm**

Half an hour later, they met Jac in the hotel bar. She’d changed from her all business look to jeans, sneakers, & an Auburn University tee. Her hair was down & fell to almost her bra line. She was really short without the heels.

“I didn’t expect to see *that* much sex hair,” she said. Six of the seven immediately started fussing with their hair. She laughed.

“I’m going to guess we aren’t going anywhere fancy,” Jin said looking at her outfit.

“No, but the food is good & I doubt you’ll be jumped by paparazzi,” she replied. She finished her drink in one shot.

“Whatcha drinking?” Yoongi asked.

“Bourbon. Though I went to school in Alabama so it should probably be moonshine,”

Hobi nudged Yoongi in the ribs. Yoongi glared at him.

“Problem?” she asked.

“Yoon likes his scotch. Cheap scotch,” Hobi said.

“Ah. Classy,” she smiled. “Ready?”

“Sure,”

She started walking & once again they struggled to keep up.

“Where’s the car?” Tae asked.

“We can walk there,” she said.

“Okay,”

“How do you walk so fast when you’re so short?” Kookie asked.

“I had a lot of tall friends,” she said. “Gotta keep up somehow.”

They walked about 3 blocks & stopped in front of a burger place.

“Burgers?” Namjoon said.

“Not just burgers, fearless leader. DIY burgers,” she said.

“DIY?” Jimin asked.

“Do it yourself,” she said. “Build your own? Put whatever you want on it?”

“Oh,”

“And we’re going to practice your English,” she said once they got in line.

Yet again, six looks of abject horror.

“It’s just a menu. I’m sure you can read that,” she said.

“Don’t give them too much credit,” Namjoon said.

“If they fuck it up, I’ll jump in,” she replied.

“We’re right here,” Hobi said.

“I know,” she smiled. She stepped up to the counter.

“Hey Jac. Who are your friends?” one of the guys at the counter asked.

“They’re from out of town. Forgive any humorous mispronunciations,” she looked over her shoulder at them.

“Your usual?”

“For their benefit, I’m going to say it anyway,” she waved them over. “Double cheeseburger. Cheddar cheese. Fried egg. Bacon. Mushrooms. Onions.” She pointed to each item on the menu as she said it. “Fries.”

“You can eat all that?” Namjoon said.

“Wait until you see the size of my Coke,” she winked. “Alright Jin. You’re up.”

He squinted like he was struggling to read it.

“Cheeseburger,” he said slowly.

“Okay,”

“What’s that?” he pointed.

“Guacamole? Uh, avocados with jalapeños & tomatoes,” she said. That didn’t seem to help.

“Can he try some?” she asked. He handed her a spoon with some on it.

“Here you go,”

He ate it & made a face. Jac laughed.

“No,”

“Guess we’ll be skipping that,” she said. “Keep going.”

“Tomato. American cheese. Bacon,” he said.

“There you go!” _Thank god we’re the only people in here._

“Just get us all fries & sodas,” she said.

“Yoongi,” she said. He just stared at her.

“If you want dinner then you’re speaking English,” she said. He rolled his eyes. Hobi cut in line & made his attempt at ordering. The rest of them tried their best, some succeeded more than others. Jac & Yoongi were still having a staring contest. It was funny to watch this tiny woman squaring off with Yoongi.

“C’mon Yoongi,” Hobi said.

“Fine,” Yoongi huffed. He turned around & looked at the menu.

“Cheeseburger. Cheddar. Bacon. Lettuce. Tomato,” he rattled off then looked back at Jac.

“Well done,” she smiled. She went over to the drink machine & filled up her cup the size of a popcorn bucket to the top. “Part of why I like this place is they have Coke products. I hate Pepsi. I’ve lived here for almost 6 years & still can’t stomach it.”

Eight of them crammed into a booth made for 6.

“So what about you?” Tae asked.

“What about me?” she replied.

“You can Google us. We can’t Google you,” he said.

“You kind of can. My family name is on about a million buildings in Atlanta. My however many times great grandfather founded Coca Cola so, cheers,” she held up her cup.

“So we’re sitting with an heiress,” Namjoon said.

“Sure,” she laughed. “I kind of peaced out on that life.”

“Peaced out?” Kookie asked.

“Left behind. Eschewed. Rejected,” she said. “If my parents had their way, I would’ve married some stuffy guy from an equally old rich white family & started popping out babies when I was 23.”

“Why’d you come to LA?” Jimin asked.

“Because Alaska was too cold & I don’t like the beach,” she said. “So it’s as far away as I could get.”

“Where are you from?” Tae asked.

“Atlanta, Georgia. It’s on the east coast,” she replied as their food came. “I went to Auburn in case you couldn’t tell from my shirt. I wasn’t in a sorority. I do love football, though. And it’s football season. Not your kind of football, though.”

She popped a fry in her mouth.

“How’d you learn Korean?” Yoongi finally spoke.

“Same way bored rich girls do anything. Hired a private tutor. I also speak Spanish, French, & German,” she said. They looked impressed. Except Yoongi. Yoongi never looked impressed.

“Do you like it here?” Jimin asked.

“It was a little bit of a shock at first, but I got used to it. My friends still make fun of my accent. And some things I say,” she said.

“Like what?” Jin asked.

“Y’all. They think it’s hilarious,”

“What does it mean?” Namjoon asked.

“It’s a contraction of you all. It’s unique to the South,” she told them. “There’s a lot unique to the South.”

“Do you ever miss it?” Tae asked.

“Sometimes. Then I remember I’ll go back to incessantly being called Julia Anne & bugged about when I’m getting married. When I do talk to my parents, the first thing they ask me is if I have a boyfriend. I should tell them I’m a lesbian,” she rolled her eyes.

“A what?”

“Seriously?”

“What?”

“Y’all are your own gay pride parade & you don’t know what a lesbian is? It’s a female gay person,” she sighed.

“We’re not…”

“Don’t even try. I knew all of you were gay the second I met you. Except you,” she looked at Yoongi.

“It was just figuring out who was with who. Tae gave himself & Kookie away.” Tae blushed furiously.

“Then when Namjoon answered the phone while engaged in recreational activities & I heard a giggle, I figured you two out. That left Hobi & Jimin,” she went around the table. “The sex hair didn’t help.”

“I told you she was good,” Hobi looked at Yoongi. She looked proud of herself.

“Are we done?”

Her plate was the only empty one.

“How’d you eat all that?” Hobi asked.

“Girls in Korea don’t eat? No wonder they don’t have boobs,” she said. They all looked scandalized. “What? You can’t handle the mention of boobs? You can’t be THAT gay.”

“We don’t spend time with girls,” Namjoon said.

“Clearly,” she said. She pulled her hair up into a ponytail. “Do I have to get you back for your after dinner roll in the hay?”

“Huh?”

“Sex,”

More blushing & looking at the floor. She laughed.

“Y’all are hysterical. If you’re waiting for your food to go down first, there is a really trashy karaoke bar down the street,” she said. “With very strong & very cheap drinks. Or are you lightweights in addition to prudes?”

“We are NOT prudes,” Hobi said.

“Suuuure you aren’t,” she smiled.

_If you had a penis, I’d show you. I’d show you a lot._

“So you up for it?”

“Why not?” Kookie shrugged.

“Isn’t this a violation of professional ethics or something?” Jin asked.

“Consider me your cultural ambassador. Also, you’re stuck with me until you leave our fine continent,” she told them.

“What?!”

“I’ve been put on retainer as your official translator. So get used to it, boys,” she grinned.

_Shit._

_Fuck._

_Huh?_

_Seriously?_

_Goddammit._

_Okay…_

_Yes._

“Welcome to the family,” Hobi put his arm around her shoulders as best he could for being 7 inches taller than her. It was more of a drape.

“Thanks JHope,” she teased.

“Don’t make me call you Julia Anne,”

“That’s fighting dirty,” she said.

“Exactly,” he replied.

**October 5, 2018**   
**11:37pm**   
**Los Angeles, California**

“What do you think of her?” Hobi asked, putting his feet up on the table on the balcony.

“It would’ve been nice if they’d consulted us before hiring her full time,” Yoongi lit a cigarette.

“When have they ever consulted us about anything?” Hobi asked. They’d ordered less expensive scotch & were drinking out of real glasses this time.

“Yeah, but she’s going to be like...talking for us,” he said.

“Or you could stop being so goddamn stubborn & learn English,” Hobi said.

“Which will be half past never,” Yoongi replied. Hobi rolled his eyes.

“I like her,”

“Yeah, I got that part,”

“What?”

“You’re not gonna go straight for her?”

“No. I just like her as a person,” Hobi said. “I’m allowed to like women.”

“How would you know? We never spend any time with them,” Yoongi pointed out.

“I’m not attracted to her. I think she’s cool,”

“Okay,” Yoongi took a long drag on his cigarette.  
“You still haven’t answered my question,” Hobi said.

“She’s fine. I guess,”

“You don’t like her because she doesn’t put up with your bullshit,”

“That has nothing to do with it,”

“Really?”

Yoongi refilled his drink & glared at Hobi.

“I’m reserving judgment until I get to know her better,” he said.

“Okay,” Hobi said.

“What?”

“Nothing,”

“Spit it out,”

“You’ve already decided how you feel & you don’t want to tell me,” Hobi looked at him.

“No idea what you’re talking about,” he said.

“Nice try. You scratch the side of your face when you’re lying,” Hobi said. Yoongi pulled his hand away from his face. Hobi grinned.

“I might be reconsidering my deserted island fantasy,” he said. “Don’t you dare tell anyone or so help me I will cut you into tiny pieces & feed you to sharks.”

Hobi started laughing.

“Min Yoongi has a crush! What alternate universe have we been tossed into? Has the world stopped spinning?”

“It’s not funny,”

“It’s a little funny,”

“It’s not funny at all ever,” Yoongi glared at him. “This includes Jimin. Not a word to anyone.”

“Fine. I promise,” Hobi said, struggling to keep a straight face.

“Go fuck yourself,” Yoongi snapped.

“No, I just never thought this day would come. I’d resigned myself to being your platonic life partner,” Hobi told him.

“I’m flattered,” he said.

“You should be. Not everyone gets the honor of my company regularly,” he said.

“Go bother Jimin,” Yoongi said.

“Is that code for tie him up?”

“No details,” Yoongi held up a hand.

“I’ll let you fill in the gaps. When you aren’t fantasizing about Jac,” Hobi got up. Yoongi swatted at him.

“Good night platonic life partner,” Hobi said.

“Fuck you,”

“I love you too, Yoon,” he called as he walked away.

**October 7, 2018**   
**3:08pm**   
**Phoenix, Arizona**

Yoongi ultimately decided to keep his distance. He’d never had a crush on anyone before. Was this how Hobi had felt about Jimin when he met him? How Jin felt about Namjoon? How Tae felt about Kookie? If it was, it wasn’t the least bit pleasant. It felt like a single hair being pulled. Constantly. He felt like he was always trying to find a comfortable position when he saw her to unpull that single hair. Hobi gave him a look when he caught Yoongi looking at her. Yoongi had to resist giving him the finger every time.

Maybe Hobi was right. She didn’t put up with his bullshit. She’d stared him down in the restaurant & won. No one ever beat him. That was part of who he was. She’d grown up the exact opposite of him. More often than he cared to admit he had to choose between using money for the bus or for lunch. Her family founded a company that spread around the world. She had earrings that cost more than the house he grew up in. Probably more than his entire town. Yet she walked away from it. In designer heels, but the point stood. She was chameleon. She could cross her legs at the ankles & smile like she’d never said a dirty word in her life then drink him under the table three hours later while calling him a “damn lightweight”. He was pretty transparent. They might dress him up in different clothes, but he was always the same. Her smile rivaled Jimin’s & her laugh was almost as loud as Kookie’s orgasm. Almost.

_Fuck this shit._

“I need help,” Yoongi caught up with Hobi as they were walking into the lobby of their hotel in Phoenix.

“I could’ve told you that,” Hobi smiled.

“Not funny,” he said.

“Hilarious,” he smiled.

Jac was standing at the front desk translating for Kookie & Tae. Kookie could probably pick her up with one hand. He saw her roll her eyes at Kookie. There went that pinch again.

“Might I give you some advice that you gave me?” Hobi said.

“What?”

“Tell her you love her & be done with it,” he said.

“I don’t love her. I’ve barely talked to her,” he hissed.

“Then maybe you should,” Hobi suggested.

“What would I even say?”

“Well I can tell you that the Dom / Sub route isn’t the best opening line,” Hobi slapped him on the back.

“That is so not my thing,”

“She’d be the Dom anyway,” Hobi laughed. Yoongi narrowed his eyes.

“Just ask her out. You know she drinks. Ask her to get a drink with you. The worst she’ll say is no,” he said.

“I’m not a superfan of being turned down,” he said.

“I don’t think she will. I think she likes you. Like someone likes a pet blowfish,”

“You’re not helping,” he punched Hobi in the arm.

“Use your words,” Jac’s voice from behind them made Yoongi jump. How did she get behind them?

“He’s not very good at that. Limited vocabulary,” Hobi said.

“Bite me,” Yoongi said. She laughed.

“Don’t make me separate you,”

“They’re always like this,” Namjoon said. “I’d be worried if they weren’t.”

“I’m an only child. I’m not used to brothers. Yet,” she said.

“Give it time,” Jin said.

“Yeah. Wait until the first time you hear one of them coming. You’ll wish you never took this job,” Yoongi said.

“You say that like I’ve never lived anywhere where I didn’t hear all kinds of obscenities & noises I can’t unhear while in the throes of passion,” she backed into the elevator.

_Okay then._

She stood against the back wall between Namjoon & Kookie. She’d propped one leg up against the wall while she was talking to Namjoon in English. Yoongi caught a word here & there, but nothing appreciable. Even though it was still hot, she was wearing jeans. Her concession for being in the desert was wearing a tank top instead of a tee shirt. One of her bra straps was peeking out from under the arm of the tank. She clearly gave zero fucks about that. At least she was wearing one? Her hair was up in something that resembled a bun on top of her head.  
He was getting really sick of that pinch.

“Here’s our stop,” Jin said.

“Penthouse. Nice,” she said.

“Except for Kookie. He’s afraid of heights,” Hobi said.

“Why’d you have to say that?” Kookie glared at him. Hobi shrugged. He put his arm around Jimin’s waist. Jac looked down.

“Ah. You have fun,” she smiled. “I’ll be at the end of the hall, horndogs.”

Kookie & Tae took the room across from Hobi & Jimin. Jin & Namjoon took the room in the middle. That left Yoongi either next to Kookie & Tae or...across the hall from Jac.  _No seriously. Fuck this shit._ He walked down the hall.

“What were you & Yoongi arguing about?” Jimin asked as he took off his shirt.

“What do we always argue about? Everything? Nothing?” Hobi took off his pants & got on the bed next to Jimin.

“It didn’t seem like your usual bickering, that’s all,” he said.

“Don’t worry about it,” Hobi kissed him.

“I’ll get the truth out of you one way or another,” Jimin walked his fingers up Hobi’s chest.

“I’d like to see you try,” he said.

“Let’s see...if I can make you come in less than 3 minutes then you have to tell me the truth,” Jimin smiled.

“Three minutes? Not two?”

“Oh Hobi- _hyung_ , don’t make me do that to you,”

“If you can make me come in 2 minutes or less, I’ll tell you the truth,” Hobi licked his lips.

“Set the timer,” Jimin positioned himself between Hobi’s legs.

“Go,” Hobi said. Jimin took all of Hobi in his mouth. He licked up in short, flicking motions. He slowly made circles around the tip. Hobi bucked. Jimin rolled his tongue & licked.

“90 seconds,”

Jimin pulled back & flicked the underside. Hobi bucked again. Jimin reached down & used his hand to follow his mouth up.

“Jesus, Jiminie,”

Jimin did it again. He took his mouth off & looked up at Hobi while massaging his cock.

“Time?”

“30 seconds,” Hobi breathed.

“Okay,”

He did the synchronized licking & massaging until he knew Hobi was ready. He let go & licked the tip one more time. Hobi thrust into Jimin’s mouth. He pulled on Jimin’s hair as he came. Jimin would probably have a little bit of a headache later. Oh well. He looked up at Hobi.

“How much did I beat it by?”

“10 seconds,” Hobi tried to catch his breath.

“Don’t challenge me,” Jimin sat up & kissed him.

“But it’s so much fun,” he sighed.

“And you call me a little bitch,” he laughed. “So what’s going on with Yoongi?”

Hobi lied down & Jimin nestled into his chest.

“He has a crush on Jac. I told him to ask her out. He’s too chicken to do it,” he said.

“Seriously? Yoongi interested in someone? Is that even possible?”

“Apparently,”

“Damn,”

**3:54pm**

It took him nearly half an hour, but Yoongi finally worked up the balls to knock on Jac’s door.

“Hey. What’s up?” she asked when she opened the door.

“I was wondering...do you want to come see the show tonight? I know you came on late in LA, but it’s pretty cool. There’s fire & shit,” he said.

“Fire & shit? Well with that ringing endorsement, you’ve sold me,” she smiled. “Come in. As my mother would say, was I born in a barn?” She opened the door for him.

“What does that mean?”

“It means you have no manners,” she said. She sat on the bed & crossed her legs. He sat on the couch in the corner.

“Ah,” he said.

“Feeling left out?” she asked.

“Huh?”

“I feel like inviting me to a show that I could invite myself to is a pretty flimsy excuse to talk to me. You could’ve just said you were bored,” she said.

He’d give anything to stop that pinch. Literally anything.

“I’m not used to talking to girls. Like I said, we don’t really deal with them at home,” he said.

“Spoiler alert - we’re just like boys except that our bits are on the inside,” she said. “Don’t feel obliged to make excuses to talk to me. I don’t bite. Much.” He must have looked horrified because she laughed.

“I’m kidding!”

“Right,” Cue awkward silence.

“Mind if I smoke?”

“Mi balcony es su balcony,” she said.

“Huh?”

“Out,” she said. They went out on the balcony & sat. Yoongi tried to hide the fact his hands were shaking as he lit his cigarette.

“So what’s it like being the only celibate in the house?” she asked.

“Eh, I’m used to it. Jin & Namjoon paired off almost immediately. Hobi & Jimin...were complicated. Tae & Kookie only got together recently. Then there’s me,”

“Don’t feel left out?”

“Of having a dick in my ass? No thank you,” he replied.

“I have to say, I don’t see the appeal. However I have an orifice designed for that,” she said, leaning her head back & closing her eyes.

Please don’t talk about that. Please. Forget the pinch. His pants were starting to get tight.  _Fuck this shit squared._

“Dating isn’t really a...thing...for some of us,” he said.

“Would that someone be you?” she turned to look at him.

“It was never a priority. That’s all,” he said.

“I have a few notches in my bedpost,” she replied.

“Do I want to know what that means?”

“Probably not,”

_C’mon. Say something. Anything_.

“You want to get a drink sometime?”

There. He could tell Hobi he did it. He was waiting for her to say no.

“Like go drinking or get a drink?” she asked.

“Ummm...there’s a difference?”

“Yes. A very distinct difference. One involves two people & certain expectations. The other one can involve multiple people & very few expectations,” she told him.

“What...expectations?”

“Anything from a kiss all the way up to sex. Though a lady never gives it up on the first date,” she smiled. “I’m not a lady.”

Yoongi almost fell out of the chair. What was going on?! What had he gotten himself into? She laughed.

“You should’ve seen your face! Oh my god I wish I’d gotten a picture!”

“That’s not funny,” he got flustered.

“It was pretty funny,” she smiled. Her smile could break a million hearts. Her smile could break his heart. Then he reminded himself that it would only ever be temporary. When they left North America, they’d leave her, too. They were here for almost 3 months. It was early October & they’d crisscross their way through the US & Canada until the end of December. They flew home on Tae’s 23rd birthday. They didn’t need a translator at home. He’d have to let her go when they left. He couldn’t do that to either of them. He had no idea how she felt about him, but he refused to hurt her. He’d rather hurt himself.

“I meant the first one,” he said. “The one with a lot of people.”

“Sure. We can watch Hobi grope Jimin all night,” she said.

“You get used to it. I don’t even notice anymore,” he said.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” she said.

“Perspective,” Yoongi replied. He stamped out his cigarette. “Thank you for letting me borrow your balcony. Now that I know I don’t need an excuse to say hi, I may come bother you more when they’re all doing their thing. And by that I mean each other.”

“Anytime. I don’t mind the company,” she got up & they walked back into the room.

“I’ll get you when we’re leaving,”

“Wouldn’t want to miss the fire & shit,” she said.

“See ya,”

“Later,”

_Fuck this shit_ , she thought as she closed the door behind him.

**5pm**

“You look...nice,” Yoongi said when Jac opened the door. She’d changed out of her jeans & tank top into a short, cap sleeve dress & heels. She’d put her hair up again & was wearing the diamond teardrop earrings she’d had on the day they met. Yoongi didn’t know why that stuck with him, but it did. Her outfit was probably all designer. So was she.

“Thank you. It’s mostly because I refuse to wear heels with pants. I’m now a towering 5’5” instead of a mere 5’2”,” she told him. “Ready?”

“Yeah,”

_Stop. Staring._ The others were waiting by the elevator as they came down the hall.

“No sex hair, I see,” she teased.

“I made sure to brush it just for you,” Hobi said.

“You’re too kind,”

“Why are you all fancy?” Kookie asked.

“Because someone has to make you look good,” she grinned.

“Hey!” said Tae.

“I think you look lovely,” Jimin said.

“See? At least one of you isn’t blind,”

_I kind of wish I were right now_. Yoongi thought. The elevator dinged & Yoongi purposely positioned himself as far away from her as he could. Hobi gave him a look.

“Later,” he mouthed & hoped she didn’t notice.

The thing about the music industry, much like the military, is it was a lot of hurry up & wait. They got there 2 hours before the show with a whole lot of nothing to do. They’d done the sound check earlier in the day & couldn’t really warm up until closer to time. Kookie, Tae, & Jac had started to entertain themselves by trying to get a wadded up piece of paper into a plastic cup from the couch to the coffee table. Jimin had his headphones in & Jin & Namjoon were dozing off on each other. Yoongi pulled Hobi aside.

“Well?” Hobi asked.

“I asked her to get a drink & then she said something about going drinking instead of getting a drink & how getting a drink meant you wanted more. I got flustered & told her I meant going out in a group,” he said. Hobi facepalmed.

“Seriously? How do you know she wasn’t messing with you?”

“I don’t know!” Yoongi lowered his voice. “I don’t know. She said something about sex on the first date.”

“She was totally messing with you. You suck at this,” Hobi said.

“It’s not like you’re an expert,”

“No, but I wouldn’t have fallen for that,”

Yoongi glared at him.

“So now what do I do?”

“Try again. Maybe be a little more straightforward? I’ve never known you to be subtle,”

“I feel like she already said no,”

“You said no because you backed off. She might say yes if you grow a set,” Hobi crossed his arms & gave his friend a pointed look.  
“Then there’s the whole thing about us leaving,”

“What do you mean?”

“We leave in December. Why try when it won’t even last 3 months?”

“Why give up before you even try?”

They stared at each other.

“I don’t know what to do,” It was bordering on physically painful to say that out loud. He’d just admitted defeat. He never gave up. Never. He powered through a broken shoulder to get into BTS. He climbed up from nothing. He had all the answers. He was the one giving the advice, not the one taking it. Nothing ever bothered him. Not orgies in living room, not Hobi’s dysfunctional relationship, not Jin swatting cigarettes out of his mouth, nothing. This got under his skin in the worst way. He felt completely powerless. He hated it, but he couldn’t make himself stop caring about her.  
“Can’t you say something to her?” he asked.

“No. You are Min Yoongi - taker of no bullshit, future desert island dweller, can make drinking $300 scotch out of a paper cup look cool, spiker of your best friend’s coffee all around grown ass man. You can do this. I know you can,” Hobi grabbed him by the shoulders & looked him in the eyes. Hobi was right. This wasn’t him. He wasn’t afraid of anything. He wasn’t going to let her bring him to his knees unless it was in the bedroom.

“Thanks,” Yoongi patted Hobi’s arm.

“You got this,”

Yoongi nodded & they walked back out into the green room.

**8:45pm**

Jac decided to watch from the wings. It was hazardous because they frequently came off stage at speed for costume changes. At the same time, it was kind of fun to try & dodge them.

“ _Merde_ ,” she would tell each of them as they went on for their solos.

“Huh?” Jin asked.

“It’s French for shit. You can’t tell a dancer to break a leg, so you say _merde_ ,” she said.

“ _Merde_ ,” Jin repeated. She gave him a solid hit on the back as he went out for his.

She was right at the edge of the stage, so Yoongi couldn’t avoid her when he was going on. She did the same thing & he jumped a little when she hit him. Partially because he wasn’t expecting that hard of a hit & partially because she touched him. When he turned around during part of his choreography, he caught her dancing enthusiastically out of the corner of his eye. She gave him a thumbs up & kept dancing.  
_Don’t fuck this up._  
He got through his solo & jogged past Kookie as they swapped off.

“Catchy tune,” she said.

“Thanks,” he wiped the sweat off his face with the back of his hand. “Gotta change.”

“Don’t let me stop you,” she stepped out of the way.

Several songs later, Kookie lifted his shirt & the crowd went wild. From the wings they heard -

“Take it off!”

They looked over (as subtly as possible) & saw Jac laughing.

_I’m glad she thinks she’s funny._

Every time a shirt got lifted, something was yelled or whistled from the wings.

“More tits!”

*wolf whistle*

“Where dem abs?”

*more whistling*

“We cannot take you anywhere,” Namjoon said, though he was trying to hide a smile.

“I know, a woman yelling at you isn’t nearly as appealing,” she winked.

“Shut up,” Tae said. Kookie squatted down, picked her up, & threw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She squealed in surprise.

“You know if my ass is hanging out, it’s your fault,” she said. Kookie responded by giving her a quick slap on the ass & pulling her skirt down.

“Problem solved,” he said.

“Was the slap really necessary?” she asked as he carried her back to the green room.

“Payback’s a bitch,”

“Jackass,”

“I prefer asshole, but I’ll take it,”

**11:45pm**

Kookie texted Jimin.

_I need you. Empty room across from N & J._

 

Jimin sent back a thumbs up.

“What do you need?” Though Jimin had a pretty good idea of what he was going to say.

“When I picked up Jac & slapped her, I wanted to...do things to her. I didn’t even think I liked girls,”

“You haven’t Dommed in a while, have you?” Jimin asked.

“Tae can only give me so much,” Kookie said. “I know he wants to give me more, but he can’t.”

“So you need me,” Jimin finished.

“Please,” Kookie stepped forward and put his hand behind Jimin’s head.

“Okay,”

“Thank god. Get on the bed,”

Jimin slid on the bed backwards. It was like someone flipped a switch & he became a different person.

“What do you want to do to me?”

“That beautiful neck of yours is so, so tempting,” Kookie crawled on top of him. He put his face in the crook of Jimin’s neck & inhaled. He licked up the side of his neck to his jawline.

“Take off your shirt,” he whispered.

“Of course,” Jimin slowly pulled off his shirt. “Pants too?”

“You’re so smart,”

Jimin slid out of his shorts.

“Can I get something off for you?”

“Take off my shirt,” Kookie said as he kissed him. Jimin slowly unbuttoned Kookie’s shirt, running his hand down his chest as he went. He pushed the shirt off & threw it to the side.

“Now the pants,” Jimin pushed down Kookie’s sweatpants.

“Lie down,” Jimin lied on his back & put his arms above his head. Kookie straddled him & ran his hands up Jimin’s arms. He pinned down his wrists with one hand & put his other hand around Jimin’s neck.

“Have I told you how much I love your neck?” he said as he ran his index finger up & down the side of his windpipe.

“You haven’t,” Jimin replied.

“It’s soft,” he kissed one side. “And beautiful.” He kissed the other side. “And perfect.” He kissed right under his chin. He kissed his way down to the fleshy part of Jimin’s shoulder. Kookie pulled his arms down & pinned them by his sides. He rested his teeth on Jimin’s candy flavored skin. Then he bit down. Jimin thrust his hips.

“You liked that?”

“Yes,”

He moved to his other shoulder & bit him again. Jimin moaned.

“I love to make you do that,” Kookie smiled.

“I love it when you make me do that,” Jimin breathed.

“Roll over & show me that ass so I can pound it,” he said. Jimin grinned at him, then did as he was told. He assumed the usual position & waited for Kookie.

“I’m going to enjoy this,” he hissed right after he entered him.

“Me too,” Jimin replied, looking over his shoulder. Kookie started with a few slow strokes to warm up, then began to go faster. He grabbed Jimin’s hair & pulled him up on all fours. Jimin grunted & fought as Kookie thrusted which was exactly what he wanted. It was what he needed. He needed someone to fight him. He needed to not hold back. He needed to feel powerful. Jimin was more than equal to the task as he pushed his hips back onto Kookie’s cock. Kookie let go of Jimin’s hair & with one final powerful thrust came like he hadn’t in days. Jimin leaned forward & grabbed Kookie’s thighs. He pushed his hips as far back as they would go while he came. They finished in a pile of sweat & submission. Jimin rolled on his back & Kookie looked down at him from kneeling.

“Thank you,”

“Of course,”

“You know it’s okay to like girls too, you know,” Jimin said.

“Is that possible?” Kookie asked.

“Yes, but I wouldn’t go after that girl if I were you,” Jimin said.

“Why?” Kookie asked.

“Just a hunch,” Jimin replied.

**October 10, 2018**   
**2:19pm**   
**Somewhere between Phoenix, Arizona & Las Vegas, Nevada**

Instead of flying from Phoenix to Vegas, they’d opted to drive instead. Jac was riding with them on the principle that 2 translators were better than one. Kookie was rapidly wishing that they’d flown or sent Jac some other way instead. Her method of entertaining herself was to either poke him with her foot when he wasn’t looking or toss Skittles at the back of his head. Hobi, on the other hand, thought it was hilarious. He’d lean over & give her the signal when to throw one.

“I swear to god if you don’t stop…” Kookie turned around after about the 50th Skittle hit its mark.

“You’ll eat the whole bag? Someone needs to fatten you up anyway,” she grinned, popping one in her mouth for emphasis.

“If you spit that at me,”

“Don’t give me ideas,” she replied as she chewed. Kookie gave a frustrated sigh & got up. She poked him in the ass with her foot as he walked away. Tae got up & followed him.

“Just ignore her,” Tae said.

“Easy for you to say. She isn’t bugging you every 5 seconds,” he replied.

“Come on, you need to relax,” Tae took his hand & pulled him into one of the bathrooms. He wrapped his arms around Kookie’s neck & kissed him.

“You always know what I need,” Kookie felt his shoulders relax.

“Of course I do,” Tae grabbed Kookie’s ass & pulled him closer. He could feel Kookie’s heartbeat echoing in his own chest. He kissed him harder as Kookie ran his hands down Tae’s back. Tae loosened his grip & unzipped Kookie’s pants.

“Oh you dirty thing,” Kookie laughed into Tae’s ear as Tae pulled out Kookie’s cock.

“I know this is going to be a challenge for you, but you need to be quiet,” Tae looped his arm over Kookie’s shoulders & leaned back against the wall. Kookie put his hands on either side of Tae’s head.

“Our little secret,”

Tae wrapped his fingers around the shaft & slowly massaged back & forth. Kookie had to bite his lip to stay quiet. Tae was sure to get every part with each stroke. He took his time & watched Kookie intently. Kookie was fighting to stay quiet & relatively still. He let himself fall on top of Tae who was now forced to angle upwards. Kookie was panting violently in Tae’s ear.

“I love hearing you do that,” Tae whispered. All Kookie could do was breathe harder.

“We’re going to have to change after this,” Tae licked Kookie’s ear. He squeezed one final time & Kookie came all over both of them. In his passion, he bit Tae’s shoulder. Tae didn’t even notice. Kookie fell onto Tae, resting his forehead on the shoulder he’d just bitten.

“You’re amazing,” he breathed.

“Thank you,” Tae wiped his hand on his jeans & hugged Kookie.

“Don’t ever leave me,”

“Never,” Tae kissed him.

They cleaned themselves up & Kookie went back to his seat in front of Jac. She’d stretched out over both seats in her row & was finishing off the bag of Skittles while watching something on her phone. She didn’t bother to take her headphones off when she saw him. She just winked & left him alone the rest of the trip.

**October 13, 2018**   
**10am**   
**Las Vegas, Nevada**

“So a little birdie told me that today is our beloved Jimin’s birthday,” Jac said as they sat down in Namjoon & Jin’s room for breakfast.

“Birds don’t talk,” Tae said, stuffing a forkful of eggs in his mouth.

“It’s a saying, genius,” she rolled her eyes. “Anyway, since we happen to have the night off & we’re in Sin City itself, I may have taken a few liberties to plan some activities to commemorate your 23rd trip around the sun.”

“We’re in Las Vegas,” Kookie said.

“I need to give y’all a tutorial in nicknames for cities. Lord,”

“What did you have in mind?” Jimin asked warily.

“This girl knows how to plan a party & it starts right now,” She pulled out bottles of champagne & orange juice from the lower shelf of the food cart.

“Getting day drunk. Cheers bitches,” she grinned. “And Yoongi.” She popped open the bottle & poured champagne into glasses. The orange juice was incidental.

“You opened that bottle way too easily,” Hobi said.

“You forget how I was raised my dear Hoseok. I was popping bottles of champagne when I was 14,” she tapped the glass on the tip of his nose.

“I’m kind of terrified as to where this is going,” Jin said as she handed him a glass.

“Keep an open mind. You might even have fun,” she grinned.

“He hasn’t had fun since 2015,” Yoongi said.

“Hey!”

“Sit back, relax, & let me be in charge of the troublemaking. Isn’t that what birthdays are for?”

Jimin, Hobi, Kookie, & Tae shifted uncomfortably at the memory of Kookie’s birthday. If they were going to get as hammered as Jac was implying, god only knows what would happen.

“Why not?” Yoongi shrugged & raised his glass.

“That’s the spirit,”  
By the time they were each about 3 Mimosas in, they’d all started to get a little goofy. Tae was trying to catch melon balls in his mouth that Jac was tossing at him. They were all over the floor because he kept missing. Jin was telling every bad joke he knew, messing up the punchline, & then laughing at himself. Kookie was sitting on the floor behind Tae with his arms around his waist. The fruit that missed Tae’s mouth ended up in Kookie’s face. Hobi & Jimin had started making out. Yoongi had surreptitiously scooted closer to Jac on the couch. Namjoon had to keep Jin from pitching himself off the other couch when he started laughing too hard.

“What time is it?” Jac asked after Tae missed the last piece of fruit.

“About noon,” Namjoon checked his watch.

“Time for Phase Two!” Jac downed the rest of her 4th Mimosa in one gulp. She got up & nudged Jimin & Hobi with her foot.

“Stop trying to suck each other’s faces off & put on real clothes. We have to go,” she said. Jimin looked up.

“Don’t I get to pick what I want to do on my birthday?”

“Nope. Up,” she pulled on one of his arms.

“Everybody get changed & meet by the elevators in half an hour,” she told them.

“I can’t stand up,” Tae said.

“That’s what your boyfriend is for. Don’t be late,”

Yoongi followed her out of the room. The unofficial sleeping arrangements involved his room being across from hers.

“What should I wear?” he was feeling a little tipsy. He wasn’t used to drinking champagne.

“Clothes?” she suggested.

“Yeah, I got that part,”

“Something you don’t mind getting wet,” she grinned & went into her room.

_What was she planning?_

**12:30pm**

The giggling mess fell into the elevator & out onto the Strip. There was a limo waiting for them.

“Where are we going?” Jimin asked. He had his hand firmly on Hobi’s ass.

“You’ll see,” she smiled. Yoongi was learning that smile meant trouble. He got in behind her & had to resist staring straight at her ass. He blamed the champagne. He did put his arm on the back of the seat behind her when they sat down. That wasn’t putting his arm around her shoulders, right? Tae sat in Kookie’s lap, Jimin couldn’t stop kissing the side of Hobi’s face & Hobi had his hand in Jimin’s lap, & Jin was still giggling at nothing with Namjoon as a human seatbelt. Jac popped another bottle of champagne & drank straight out of the bottle. She passed it to Yoongi.

“Sobriety is strictly prohibited today,” she said.

“Okay then,” he took a swig & handed it to Tae.

“Don’t get it all over your face this time,” Yoongi said when Tae passed the bottle to Kookie. They all burst out laughing.

“Just because I got it down my face once doesn’t mean I’ll do it every time,” he said. They started laughing again. Kookie took a smaller drink nonetheless. It made it around the circle twice by the time they made it to their destination.

“Here we are,” Jac said as they stepped out in front of The Venetian.

“What are we doing here?” Namjoon asked.

“Gondola rides,”

“Gondola rides?” Hobi repeated.

“Yup. Just us. I rented the whole place for an hour & a half,” she replied.

“How’d you pull that one off?” Yoongi asked.

“Heiress, remember?” she patted his chest & smiled.

_Please do that again. Please._

“It’s 4 in each boat. I, personally, don’t want to sit with Handsy McGroperson & his boyfriend,” Jac said.

“We will,” Namjoon said. He was holding his liquor surprisingly well. That left Yoongi, Jac, Kookie, & Tae in the other one. It was a miracle none of them fell in trying to get into the boats. The gondoliers looked at them with great anxiety.

“So what do we do?” Kookie asked.

“Enjoy riding around through fake Venice with just enough time to slightly sober up before we move on to our next destination,” she leaned back & stretched her legs out. They barely touched Tae’s legs on the other side. She was wearing her version of the BTS Uniform. They’d given her one of the tour shirts & even a small was too big. She’d cut the neck off & let it fall off her shoulder with a cami underneath. Her jeans, however, were intact & Chucks that were at least 10 years old. Her hair was up in a ponytail & she’d put on some bright pink aviator sunglasses. She still wore the diamond earrings. Yoongi once again put his arm on the seat behind her. Kookie has his arm around Tae’s shoulders. Jac carefully leaned over & splashed Tae.

“Hey!”  
She cackled maniacally. He leaned over & splashed her back. She squealed & curled over into Yoongi’s lap to dodge. She’d leaned on him. That was okay, right? Kookie leaned over & splashed them both. Yoongi waited until Kookie wasn’t looking & then splashed him.

“Gotcha!”

“What’s going on up there?” Namjoon called from the boat behind them.

“Wet tee shirt contest!” Jac yelled back.

_I should be so lucky_. Yoongi thought.

That, of course, got the second boat started. Yoongi was almost certain the gondoliers were thinking they didn’t get paid enough for this shit. But he supposed it also wasn’t every day a socialite bought out the place to ferry around drunk KPop stars. Everyone had a price. They rode around for the next hour intermittently splashing each other. By the time they got out, they were all decently wet.

“I told you,” Jac looked at Yoongi.

“That you did,” he replied. They had sobered up enough that no one was swaying too noticeably. Jac would fix that. They got back into the limo & headed back toward their hotel.

“What’s next?” Jimin asked. He’d stopped making out with Hobi long enough to actually ask.

“I hope y’all brought some gambling money,” she popped open another bottle of champagne.

“What did you do this time?” Yoongi asked.

“Private blackjack table,” she replied.

“We don’t know how to play,” Namjoon said.

“Perfect time to learn,” she handed him the bottle. He took a drink.

“Right. When you’re keeping us drunk,” he grinned.

“It’ll make you better players. Don’t worry. You all have your wives to blow on your dice. Or is that Craps?” she gave him a suggestive look.

“You’re a terrible influence,” he said as they got out.

“One of the many reasons you love me,”

_Yup._

She led them across the casino to a roped off area. She flashed her perfect smile at the guard.

“Candler,”

“Welcome Miss Candler. Are these your guests?” he nodded to her.

“Yes. And our birthday boy is right here,” she tried to unglue Jimin from Hobi with almost no success.

“Enjoy your afternoon,” he pulled back the rope.

“Thank you,”

The table was set up with 5 seats.

“Who isn’t playing?” Kookie asked.

“I already know how to play & Jin & Tae have no poker faces. Or should I say blackjack faces?”

“What if I want to play?” Tae asked.

“Then sort that out with your boyfriend,” she pinched his cheek.

“I’ll just watch,” Jin kissed Namjoon.

“Never knew you liked to watch,”

“Stop!”

“Sit!”

Yoongi, Namjoon, Kookie, Hobi, & Jimin sat down. Jac put in a complicated drink order, but she’d somehow memorized everyone’s drink of choice. She stuck her head between Hobi & Jimin’s chairs.

“At least try to play. You can fuck each other before dinner,”

“Birthday Dom,” Hobi said.

“That’s me,” she kissed them both on the cheeks. “I’m watching.”

She moved back & stood next to Yoongi’s chair. She handed him a drink off the tray.

“A level up from your usual swill,” she said.

“What’d you get?”

“Bourbon. Champagne is fun, but I’m a hard drinking Southern girl at heart,”

_One of the many reasons I love you._

“Feeling it yet?”

“I think my tolerance is a little high,” he took a sip of his drink.

“I’ll get you drunk. Don’t worry,” she smiled.

_Then what are you going to do to me?_

She & Namjoon translated the rules & Jac gave suggestions on how to play. None of them really understood how to play & lost every hand. They still had fun. Jac thanked the dealer when they finished.

“I have been kind enough to schedule a break to, yet again, sober up a bit. Be ready to leave for dinner at 6. Look nice please,” she told them. Jimin & Hobi didn’t need any further goading. Half their clothes were off before they even got the door closed. Jac laughed to herself as she walked down the hall. Yoongi caught up with her.

“What are you going to do for the next 2 hours?”

“Drink & watch football. Care to join me?”

“Football?”

“Not that sissy game of soccer. A sport where large men hit each other. I think my team is even playing,” she told him.

“Sure,” he said.

“You’re about to see me in my natural habitat,” she smiled. She turned on the TV, fished out a bottle of bourbon, & glasses. Sure enough, the Auburn game was on.

“They’re losing?” she groaned. “I’ll definitely need to drink.”

She kicked off her shoes & sat on the bed. She patted the spot next to her.

“Sit,”

He took off his shoes & sat next to her at what he deemed a safe distance. She handed him a glass.

“So how do you play this game?” he asked. She tried to explain the rules, but he only understood about half of them. He settled for just watching & listening to her reactions.

“Good thing we have to leave. I don’t want to watch them lose,” she said. She got up off the bed & looked at him. “Drunk yet?”

“Eh,”

“Tipsy?”

“Eh,”

“Anything?”

“I think I might need more champagne,” he told her.

“You get drunk off fancy wine?”

“Apparently,”

“Then I’ll keep your glass full of champagne until you’re good & hammered,”

Yoongi had heard Hobi talk about how beautiful & perfect Jimin was for years. To the point he didn’t even really hear it anymore. It was just background noise. Looking up at Jac, he started to understand what Hobi meant. Even with no makeup in a ripped up tee shirt & jeans, she was beautiful. It wasn’t just the blonde hair & boobs. It was who she was. Though the blonde hair & boobs didn’t hurt.

“Is that a promise or a challenge?” he asked.

“A little of both,” she said. He got up.

“Do I have to wear something that can get wet to dinner?”

“Not unless you plan on spilling champagne on yourself,”

“I wasn’t,”

“Then look nice,”

“That I can do,” he replied. His hand brushed hers as he went to leave. It was like being shocked. She obviously felt something too because she looked at him like she didn’t know what to do.

“Meet you at the elevators,”

“Yeah,” she said. He’d never seen her blink & for a split second she was flustered. At least he wasn’t the only one.

**6pm**

“Do you own anything that *doesn’t* have sequins on it?” Hobi asked.

“No,” Jac said. She came walking down the hall in a black sequined halter top jumpsuit. “But you don’t exactly have room to talk.”

“Costumes don’t count,” Kookie said.

“Jimin looks like a damn disco ball,” Jac replied.

“And?” he said.

“You’re always so much more amenable after you’ve had an orgasm,” she kissed him on the cheek. The others made disgusted noises & covered their ears. Except Hobi of course.

“Off we go. There is alcohol to be consumed & steak to be eaten,” she said.

“Steak?” Jin perked up.  
“Another little birdie told me I had a bunch of carnivores on my hands,” she smiled. They got back into the limo & more champagne was opened. She handed Yoongi the bottle first. She opened another one & handed it to Jimin.

“Happy birthday, Jiminie,” Hobi kissed him.

“Gag,” Yoongi said. They laughed. Yoongi took a decent drink & handed the bottle back to Jac. She gave him a look & took a larger drink out of it before passing it to Tae.

“Don’t get it on your face,” she said.

“You’re confusing me with Kookie,” he said.

“Hey!”

Both bottles were finished by the time they got to the hotel where the steakhouse was. Once again, Jac walked up like she owned the place. Hell, maybe her family did & they just didn’t know it. They were led back to a private dining room.  
“Your best champagne,” she said. “And keep it coming.”

“Do you want them to have sex on the table?” Namjoon asked, looking at Hobi & Jimin. She laughed.

“If all goes according to plan, you’ll be too drunk to care. And they’ll be too drunk to get it up,” she winked at them. That was Jac. Never afraid to make the crass comment at the dinner table.

As promised, Jac refilled Yoongi’s glass whenever she saw it getting low. She wasn’t slowing down, either. None of them were. When an intricate cake was brought out, Jac raised her glass.

“I know I haven’t known you that long, but thank you for accepting me as one of your own. And to Jimin for letting me turn your birthday into an exercise in debauchery that is not yet over. So cheers & happy birthday,”

“Happy birthday!”

Kookie was responsible for consuming a good portion of the cake. They were back to being giggly as they left. Yoongi was starting to feel something.

“I think you’ll particularly enjoy our next stop,” she told them. “And yes, we’re still drinking.” She tossed a peanut in Tae’s direction & he actually successfully caught it in his mouth.

“He was always good getting nuts in his mouth,” Hobi said. More laughter. Yoongi put his arm around Jac’s shoulders this time as he got the bottle back. Her skin was warm probably from the drinking & it was a little hot in the limo. She just smiled as he passed her the bottle.

“What is that?” Jin asked when they got out.

“The Thunder From Down Under,” she smiled. “I thought we all would appreciate a little after dinner eye candy.”

“Seriously?” Yoongi looked at her. She just laughed. The rest of them looked at each other & shrugged.

“We are, of course, VIP,” she led them in.

“What exactly is this?” Kookie asked.

“Strippers. Male strippers,”

Tae & Jin dissolved into giggles.

“You can look, but don’t touch,” Hobi said to Jimin.

“Can I cover my eyes?” Yoongi asked.

“Nope,” she replied.

“Thank god we met you after my birthday,” Namjoon said.

“Don’t worry. I’ve already got Jin’s on my calendar,”

“Oh Lord,”

She cackled. They sat down in the front row.

“I hate you,” Yoongi looked at her.

“Keep drinking & no you don’t,” she smiled.

_Goddammit._

She handed him a glass of champagne & patted his knee. She’d lost track of how many bottles of champagne they’d consumed since 10am, but each of them had probably had at least 2 each. Maybe 3. Yoongi could handle the pelvic thrusting & body rolls that they did on stage, but he wasn’t overly keen on having some guy toss his pants in his face. They were the only men in the entire theater & he was sure he was the only straight one. This was going to be awkward. Jac was right. Keep drinking.

The lights went out & it was almost as noisy as their shows. In this case, it was a bunch of shirtless, oiled up beefcakes in jeans who stepped on stage. Kookie may have had abs, but these guys had ABS. Jac made just as much noise as she did at their shows.  
At least she’s equal opportunity?

“And I understand we have a birthday in the audience tonight?” One of them said after their opening number. Another one went to help Jac on stage & she pointed to Jimin. They looked at each other, momentarily confused, but then pulled Jimin on stage.

“You’re gonna want to watch this,” Jac leaned over to Yoongi.

“I really don’t,”

Jac refilled his glass.

“Your loss,”

They sat Jimin in the chair like they would a woman. Jac saw a little smile working its way on the corner of his mouth. She leaned over to Namjoon.

“This is going exactly where I think it’s going, isn’t it?”

“Yup,” Namjoon took a drink & leaned back.

They started giving him a lap dance & Jimin sat there for about a minute just watching. Then he quickly pulled the one in front of him down, put him in the chair, & started dancing. The crowd went wild. Before anyone could register what was happening, Kookie jumped up on stage behind Jimin. Jac was laughing so hard that she was crying. Jin had made himself cough. Namjoon was just shaking his head. Yoongi had actually cracked a smile. Then Hobi & Tae joined them. It was Hobi, Jimin, Tae, & Kookie against the actual strippers. The cheering was almost deafening. Jac stood up & started cheering for the boys. When the song ended, the strippers applauded the boys & they took a bow. The boys hopped back off the stage & fortunately didn’t break anything given their level of intoxication.

“I think they might offer you jobs,” Jac leaned down.

“Always good to have a backup plan,” Hobi said, buttoning his shirt.

“Do you really have to do that?” Jimin asked.

“Yes, my little lap dancer,” he kissed him.

“There will be more opportunities for dancing. Though not stripping,” Jac said.

“Oh?”

“We’ll need to swing by the hotel & change. Something you don’t mind sweating in, but still looks good,”

“That’s vague,” Jin said.

“Bust out those leather pants. We’re going clubbing,” she smiled.

Yoongi was almost drunk by this point. He wasn’t sure he *could* change. Eh, the suit would be fine. He’d just take off the jacket.

**11pm**

Jac took the longest to change. All 7 jaws dropped when she finally walked out.

“I purposely looked for more sequins,” she said to Hobi. She was in what could best be described as gold sequined shorts, a black silk sleeveless top that was backless & almost plunged to her navel in the front, & gold heels. She’d pinned her hair up on top of her head.

“I’d go straight for you dressed like that,” he said.

“Thank you. Ready for the grand finale, birthday boy?”

“Hell yes,” Jimin replied.

“Then let’s do this thing,”

Yoongi still couldn’t form words by the time they got to the limo. If she was beautiful in jeans & a tee shirt, then she was ethereal in this outfit. Namjoon helped her out of limo & Yoongi just stared. Hobi bumped him with his shoulder.

“It’s rude to stare,”

“I can’t not,”

“Then stop staring & start doing,” Hobi grinned at him as Jimin was kissing his neck. They were led up to a private area above the main club floor. The music was so loud that you had to be right next to the other person’s ear to hear them talk. More champagne was waiting for them. Tae, who was enough of a spaz when he was sober, looked even sillier dancing with Jac. Kookie joined in & soon Jac was the meat in a maknae sandwich.

_Stop staring & start doing._

Yoongi finished his glass of champagne & stepped over to them.

“May I?” he held out his hand to Jac. They shrugged. She took it & he pulled her to him. He wasn’t a great improvisational dancer. Jac hooked her fingers in his belt loops & pulled him as close as he could get. She wrapped one arm around the back of his neck & kept the other one on his hip. Then she kissed him. He kept his hand on her back as he kissed her back. She untucked his shirt. He looked down at her.

“Wait until I get you back,” she said in his ear. He ran his hands down her sides.

“Tease,”

She kissed him again. There was a little nagging feeling in the back of his head. It had taken probably 6 bottles of champagne between them to get to this point. What if she didn’t really want it? What if

she was just drunk & he was the only only straight guy around? Even if she did, he wasn’t sure he was capable of giving her what she wanted. On several levels.

_Shut up & kiss her._

She was sweaty & tasted like champagne. He was probably wearing her lipstick by this point. He didn’t care. He couldn’t let himself care.

It was 2am when they finally stumbled back into the hotel sweaty, exhausted, & birthday-ed out.

“Thank you for the wonderful day,” Jimin kissed her on the cheek.

“You’re very welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it,” she smiled. “Everybody remember to drink lots of water & take Advil before you go to sleep. It’ll help with the hangover.”

“You speak from experience?” Namjoon asked.

“Painful experience. Good night, my lovelies,” she took off her shoes & carried them with her down the hall. Yoongi lagged behind her.

“You coming in?” she asked when she opened her door.

_Stop staring & start doing._

“Sure,”

She pulled her hair down & shook her head.

“Did you still want to…” he started.

“What did you have in mind?” she looked over her shoulder.

“I’m not ready for that yet,” he told her. She got on the bed & sat across from him.

“That’s fine. What are you ready for?”

“Kissing you,”

She smiled.

“And never stopping.”

She laughed her booming laugh.

“We can do that,”


	6. Mid / End of October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background music (if you're so inclined):
> 
> “Run” BTS  
> “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” Backstreet Boys  
> “Lollipop” Lil Wayne (original) / Framing Hanley (cover)  
> “National Anthem” Lana Del Rey

**October 16, 2018**  
**6pm**  
**Seattle, Washington**

“Why is it cold?” Hobi asked.

“And wet?” Yoongi added.

“Because it’s Seattle,” Jac replied as they got out of the van from the airport.

“That’s not an answer,” Hobi said.

“I’m not a meteorologist. Google it,” she said. “On the upside they’re supposed to have really good coffee.”

“A good base for a Min Yoongi Special?”

“A Min Yoongi Special is only as good as its whiskey,” Yoongi replied.

“Then you’ll have to wait for Tennessee for that,” Jac told them. They tromped into the lobby & Jac & Namjoon got them checked in.

“Penthouse, as always,” Jac handed out the keys. Namjoon kept the extras. When they got upstairs, Jimin pulled Namjoon aside.

“I’ll need one of those,”

“You & Hobi have a fight?”

“No, but I’d rather not continue to pickpocket you when Kookie’s...needs...arise,” he explained. “It’s been 10 days.”

“Maybe he’s getting better. Maybe he & Tae worked something out,” Namjoon suggested. Jimin looked over his shoulder.

“He only made it 8 days in the past. I’m concerned,”

“Shouldn’t you be talking to him about this & not me?”

“I can’t talk to Hobi about it because he’ll panic & I don’t want to push Kookie if he genuinely doesn’t want it. However, someone needs to know,” Jimin replied.

“Are you afraid he’ll hurt you?”

“I don’t know. I’d like to think that he’s gotten to the point where it won’t get out of hand. It’s the time that’s worrying me. Without going into detail, what happened on his birthday should’ve satisfied him longer than it did. We’re 2 days past that now,”

Namjoon studied Jimin.

“Are you sure this is a good idea? This whole arrangement which I freely admit I don’t completely understand,”

“It’s this or he does something he regrets to someone who isn’t equipped to handle the situation. The lesser of 2 evils,” Jimin told him. Namjoon handed him the keycard.

“Trust your gut,”

“I will,”

**10:15pm**

Kookie made it through the rest of the evening. He made it through dinner. He made it through watching a TV show with Tae in English that he barely understood. The itch wouldn’t stop. It had been there for days. He’d been trying to ignore it. He’d been having sex with Tae every chance they got. Ever since the bus, Tae had let Kookie bite him. Kookie never bit him as hard as he wanted, but it had been enough to keep his urges at bay. Until now.

“I have to,” he told Tae, running his hand through Tae’s hair.

“I understand,” Tae replied.

_But that doesn’t mean I have to like it._

Kookie texted Jimin & Jimin told him to meet him in one of the empty rooms.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Kookie kissed Tae.

“I might be in Hobi’s room,”

“That’s fine,”

Kookie got up & left. His hand twitched at the idea of wrapping it around Jimin’s throat. He started to salivate at the thought of tasting his lollipop skin. He was ready. Kookie knocked on the door & Jimin greeted him wearing one of the hotel bathrobes.

“I hope you don’t mind I took the liberty of saving you a step,”

“As long as you don’t mind me taking it off you, like, now,” Kookie closed the door & untied the bathrobe. Jimin just watched him.

“Take off my clothes. Now,” Kookie hissed in Jimin’s ear.

“Of course,” Jimin pulled off Kookie’s shirt & pants. Kookie shoved his face into the crook of Jimin’s neck & inhaled. He kissed his way down to the fleshy part of Jimin’s shoulder & bit him. He bit him about twice as hard as he bit Tae. Jimin moaned & put his hands on the back of Kookie’s head.

“Get on the bed,”

Jimin slithered back onto the bed. Kookie pulled the tie out of the bathrobe & examined it. For the first time since he started training Kookie he was concerned.

“I want you to do to me what Hobi did to me,” he looked at Jimin intensely.

“I’m not sure I can be that aggressive,” Jimin told him. Kookie threw him the belt.

“Do your best,”

Kookie got on the bed & got on all fours. Jimin got up behind him.

“Hit me,” Kookie said. Jimin gave his ass a moderate slap.

“Harder,” Jimin winced as he hit him harder.

“That’s better. Again,” Jimin did it again. _Don’t do this, Kookie. Don’t go down this road._

He knew what he had to do. And Kookie would hate him for it.

“Pizza,” Jimin dropped the belt & raised his hands in surrender. Kookie looked over his shoulder at him.

“What?”

“You heard me,”

Kookie sat down & stared at Jimin.

“Why?”

“If you make me do this, if you do this to yourself, then you’ll never come back from it,” he said.

“What are you talking about?”

“This is too far & you know it. I’m not going to choke you. Hobi might have done it to you, but I won’t. I’ll let you live dangerously with me. I’ll let you bite me. I’ll let you hold your hand to my neck. I’ll let you fuck me as hard as you want. I won’t let you become a flat out masochist,”

“I’m the Dom,”

“Are you?”

Kookie thought about what Jimin said. Jimin taught him everything he knew. He did everything Jimin told him to do. He trusted Jimin to control the monster. Jimin was right. Kookie wasn’t in control of anything. Especially himself. Lacking anything else to do, Kookie let out a yell that sounded like a wounded animal. Jimin put his arms around Kookie & held him to his chest.

“Why? Why am I like this? I even screwed it up with you,” he cried.

“No, you didn’t. I’ll still help you. I won’t let you hurt yourself like that. Not when I know I can stop you,” he said.

“What would’ve happened?”

“Nothing good,”

Kookie was too upset to be embarrassed. His whole body shook with sobs. Jimin sat there & held him.

“I love you. Not like Tae loves you, but I love you,”

“I love you too,” Kookie sniffed. Jimin gave him a squeeze.

“Go back to your boy. You need him more than you need me right now,”

Kookie nodded into Jimin’s chest.

“I’ll be better next time,”

“We can only do our best,” Jimin kissed the top of Kookie’s head. “Off you go.”

Kookie got dressed & went back to his room. Part of him was hoping Tae had gone to see Hobi so he’d have time to clean himself up. No such luck. Tae was flipping through the channels looking more & more confused with each one. He looked up when he heard the door open.

“What happened?” Tae sat up straight when he saw Kookie’s puffy tear stained face. Kookie just ran over & threw himself into Tae’s lap.

“Hey, whatever it was, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” Tae rubbed his side.

“I wanted Jimin to hurt me,”

“Okay,”

“Like Hobi hurt me,”

“Okay,”

“He wouldn’t do it,”

“He did the right thing,” Tae said. Kookie sobbed into Tae’s lap.

“And you’re still going to tell me I’m not a monster?”

“I’m going to put an app on my phone that’s an air horn. Every time you call yourself a monster, I’m going to set it off,” he said. Kookie gave a little laugh.

“Why do you love me?”

“I love you because I can’t imagine a world without you. A world without your smile, your laugh, your voice, your kindness, your thoughtfulness, your silliness isn’t a world worth living in. You accept me for who I am & never tried to change me. So many people have tried to change me. You never did,” Tae leaned over & kissed Kookie’s shoulder. “You’re my other half for better or worse.”

“I love you too,” he sniffed.

“I think it’s time to sleep. You’re tired & it’s been a long day,”

“Every day is a long day,”

“Then you’re tired,”

“Fair,”

They got undressed & climbed under the covers. Kookie nuzzled his face into Tae’s neck. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he didn’t feel the urge to bite it.

_Thank you, Jimin._

**October 18, 2018**  
**11:30pm**  
**Seattle, Washington**

“Come on, losers. Midnight snack time!” Jac banged on Namjoon & Jin’s door. She’d already rousted Yoongi, Kookie, & Tae. Jin opened the door looking annoyed.

“It’s called room service,”

“It’s called I’m sick of hotel food & being cooped up in a hotel,” she replied. “I saw a 24 hour diner down the street. I’m sure they have steak.”

“It might be fun,” Tae said. Namjoon came up behind Jin.

“Are you suggesting we sneak out?”

“We’re going like 2 blocks. That’s hardly sneaking out,” she replied. Namjoon thought for a second.

“Fine,”

Jac hopped up & down.

“I’m going to interrupt Hobi & Jimin. I guarantee they’ve already hit third base,”

“Third what?” Kookie asked.

“I’ll explain later,” she replied as she trotted down the hall to Hobi & Jimin’s room.

“Well, she’s certainly made our lives more interesting,” Namjoon said.

“Yup,” Yoongi said as he watched her grab Hobi’s arm & pull him out of the room. Jimin walked out behind them laughing.

“What happens if we’re caught?” Jin asked.

“I’ll claim I spiked your water & tempted you out with the promise of hookers & blow,” she replied.

“What & what?”

Jac just rolled her eyes. It was raining when they got outside. None of them had thought to bring raincoats. Fortunately the hotel kept umbrellas by the door. They grabbed 4 & split off into their usual pairs.

“I always liked rain,” Jac commented to Yoongi. “There’s something relaxing about it.”

“I don’t like it because it means I have to smoke out the window,” he replied. She laughed.

“Has it ever occurred to you to quit?”

“Plenty of times. I just choose not to,” he looked down at her.

“Not a quitter?”

“Nope,”

They shook off the umbrellas as they walked into the diner. It was fairly quiet for almost midnight on a Thursday. Once again, they crammed into a booth made for 6. Though they all had skinny asses, so it wasn’t as big of a squish as it could’ve been. The menus were already on the table & the other 6 immediately started competing for Namjoon & Jac’s help reading them.

“What’s that say?” Kookie pointed to something.

“Pancake,” Jac replied.

“A what?”

“It’s like a squished cake without the frosting,” she said.

“That doesn’t sound very good,” he said.

“It’s better than it sounds,” she told him. Kookie wrinkled his nose.

Eventually they sorted through the menu to the point everyone had figured out what they wanted. The waitress only gave them slight sideeye as Jac & Namjoon did all the verbal heavy lifting. Or maybe she recognized them. They got too distracted by each other to care.

“So the game is called Never Have I Ever. One person says something they’ve never done & if you have done it, then you have to drink,” Jac said. She had one butt cheek propped up on Yoongi’s leg & he was trying to look nonchalant about it. It wasn’t working.

“Like what?” Tae asked.

“If I said Never Have I Ever had butt sex all of you would have to drink. Except you. I assume,” she looked at Yoongi.

“You would be correct,” he said.

“Never Have I Ever gone up the down escalator?” Jin ventured.

“No. It has to be something sexual or sexual-ish. Or something you know someone else has done,” she said.

“I’ve got one!” Tae said. “Never Have I Ever dropped my pants in public.”

Jin glared at him & took a drink.

“That was not my fault,”

“Still counts,” Tae grinned.

“Okay pervs. I’ve got one,” Jac said.

“Oh no…”

“Never Have I Ever been put in handcuffs during sex,”

Kookie, Jimin, Hobi, & Namjoon drank. They all looked at Namjoon.

“I thought you said you didn’t need handcuffs to have a fulfilling sex life!” Hobi looked at Jin.

“Need & enjoy are two entirely different things,” Jin casually took a sip of his soda. They laughed.

“Never Have I Ever stolen anyone’s underwear,” Kookie said. Yoongi grudgingly took a drink. So did Jac.

“Never pegged you for the panty raid type,” she looked at Yoongi.

“I did it to piss off Kookie. I wore it, too,”

“You wore it?! You asshole!” Kookie threw a fry at him. Yoongi snickered.

“Never Have I Ever given a blow job,” Yoongi said. All of them drank.

“That one was too obvious,” Jac said.

“I’m at a little bit of a disadvantage here,” Yoongi pointed out.

“Okay fine. Never Have I Ever participated in group sex,” he said.

Hobi, Jimin, Kookie, Tae, & Jac drank. They all looked at Jac.

“You’re surprised? Really? I went to college,” she said.

“Technically so did I,” Jin said.

“The internet doesn’t count,” Jac said. “Unless you were having cyber sex instead of doing your homework.”

Jin gave her a blank look.

“You’re so clueless it’s bordering on painful,” she said.

“And yet you’re still here,” Hobi said.

“What can I say? I’m a glutton for punishment,” she smiled.

“You’ve definitely come to the right place,” Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“Too bad I have the wrong plumbing,”

“Too bad indeed,” Hobi agreed.

“You gonna go straight for me, Hobes?”

“Nope,” he kissed Jimin on the cheek. “Even if blondes are my type.”

“I wasn’t always blond,” Jimin said.

“Well you’re gorgeous as one,” Hobi kissed Jimin again.

“Barf,” Jac & Yoongi said in unison. The others laughed. They got up, grabbed the umbrellas, & went back outside. The rain had gotten even harder. Jac put her arm around Yoongi’s waist.

“You’re swinging that thing around like a sword. I’d like to not get wet,” she said.

“Sorry,” he said.

“I need to give you umbrella holding lessons or something,” she said.

“Then you need to grow about 6 inches,” he said.

“Gee thanks,”

They got back upstairs & 6 of the 8 of them were yawning.

“Good night pervs,” Jac said as they all filtered into their rooms.

“Good night Jac,”

“Mind if I come in? I’m not ready to go to sleep yet,” Yoongi asked.

“Inviting yourself into my room at this hour? I might get the wrong impression,” she teased.

“I don’t have to…”

“I’m kidding. Of course you can come in,” she smiled.

“Drink?” she held up a bottle of wine & 2 glasses.

“No bourbon?”

“Eh, thought I’d mix it up. This was the most expensive bottle of white wine I could find on the menu,”

He laughed.

“What?”

“I did that with some scotch the first night we were in the US. Wasn’t worth it,” he told her.

“This probably isn’t either, but it’s a $150 bottle of wine so,” she shrugged. She filled both glasses, handed him one, & sat on the bed. He sat next to her.

“We’re not going to keep playing that game, are we?”

“Nah. I know the extent of your sexual escapades unless you’re hiding something from me,” she looked at him.

“Nope. You’re the third girl I’ve ever kissed in my life. And the only one as an adult,” he told her.

“What about boys?”

“You’re funny,” he rolled his eyes.

“Funny haha or funny weird?”

“Both,”

“I’m not going to push you. Guys push girls all the time. It sucks,” she said.

“Did somebody push you?”

“Not really. I guess you could say I pushed myself? I dunno. I think I did it for all the wrong reasons,” she looked in her glass. “I had to be first. I always had to be first.”

“How old were you?”

“Fifteen. He was 18. Definitely illegal,” she told him. “If I could do it again, I’d wait. Not for marriage or anything like that, but maybe until I was older.”

“You just seem like you’re proud of it,” Yoongi said. She smiled at him.

“I seem like a lot of things,”

“So do I,” he said.

“Guess that’s something we have in common,” she said.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“So polite,” she laughed. “Sure.”

Yoongi put his drink down & leaned over. He remembered kissing her the night of Jimin’s birthday, but it was a little hazy. Maybe someday he’d kiss her completely sober. Or maybe not. She tasted like wine & fried food. He put his hand on the back of her neck. Loose pieces of her hair tickled his fingers. She moved closer to him & sat in his lap as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He put his other hand on the outside of her thigh.

 _Remember this_.

She ran her hand through his hair onto his back.

“Anything else?” she asked. He shook his head.

“This is fine,”

“Only fine? I think I’m insulted,” she smiled.

“It’s exactly what I want,”

“That’s better,” she said & went back to kissing him.

**October 19, 2018**  
**12:50am**  
**Seattle, Washington**

“I think we scandalized them,” Jin said when they got back in the room.

“If they only knew,” Namjoon laughed.

“They’d die if they knew our first time was backstage before a show,”

“They probably thought we were just fooling around,” Namjoon took off his shirt.

“I don’t think we had sex in a bed until we hit the double digits,” Jin smiled at the memory.

“Yeah, but that look less than a week,”

“Ah, the early days,” Jin rested his arms on Namjoon’s shoulders.

“Nothing saying we can’t revisit those,” Namjoon rubbed Jin’s sides.

“What did you have in mind?”

“I don’t have handcuffs on me, but…”

“Uh huh,”

“You were a screamer,”

“Joon,”

“You promised,” he said in a lilting tone. “You know how I love it when you beg me to finish you.”

“You’re horrible,” Jin said.

“And you love me for it,”

“You got me,”

“So what do you say? Pretend we’re on our first date?”

“Sure,” Jin kissed him.

“Don’t forget your promise,” Namjoon said in his ear.

“I won’t,”

Jin pulled Namjoon on the bed with him & started kissing him. He thought about when they first met. They hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other. Their first kiss had been in the rehearsal room. Everyone else had left to get dinner. They’d stayed behind to practice longer. The tension had been building for days. When they realized they were alone, they practically attacked each other. The only reason they didn’t have sex was neither of them had a condom readily available. They made sure that didn’t happen again. At some point they’d settled into the comfort of a long term relationship. Maybe they didn’t have sex in public anymore, but that didn’t mean they didn’t still want to sometimes. Namjoon popped Jin on the ass.

“Up you go, love muffin,” he said.

“What kind of a name is that?” Jin asked as he rolled over.

“Yours now,” Namjoon grinned.

“Remind me to give you a stupid pet name at some point,”

“The stupider the better,” Namjoon got behind him. Jin rolled his eyes as Namjoon entered him. He let himself sink into the feeling & moan.

“There’s the sexy boy I fell in love with,” Namjoon smiled.

“Where’s the sexy boy I fell in love with?” Jin asked. Namjoon thrust into him.

“Right here,”

“Hello love,”

Namjoon thrust into him again. It felt good to let go. Sometimes he got sick of being the responsible one. Or one half of the responsible pair in the house. It felt like everyone else got to have all the fun & he was stuck making sure everything was running smoothly. Sometimes he just wanted to fuck his husband like they were a pair of horny teenagers & to hell with everyone else. He began to pound Jin like they used to. Jin squirmed & groaned under him. He couldn’t help but smile. He still had it. Jin shoved his ass all the way onto Namjoon’s cock.

“Do you want me to finish you?”

“Yes,”

“What do you say?”

“Please,”

“Yes dear,”

He grabbed Jin’s waist & ground into him. As promised, he didn’t try to be quiet when he came. Namjoon relaxed & followed him. He dug his nails into Jin’s chest. Jin lowered them both down when he finished. Namjoon stayed on his back.

“Good?”

“Wonderful,”

“We should do this more often,”

“We’ll upset the kids,” Jin laughed.

“Eh, they’ll get over it,”

“I love you, Joon,”

“I love you, Jin,”

They fell asleep that way. Namjoon on Jin’s back, still inside him.

 **October 20, 2018**  
**11pm**  
**Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada**

Kookie waited in the room anxiously. He jumped when he heard the door click open.

“You rang?” Jimin said.

“I wanted to apologize for the other night. You were right to stop me. I shouldn’t have tried to make you do that,” he said.

“I’m sensing there’s a ‘but’ in here,” Jimin said.

“I didn’t fully get it out of my system. I freaked & that slowed me down, but I need you really bad,” Kookie stood up.

“That’s fine. It’s what I’m here for,”

Kookie walked over to him & put his face in the crook of his neck & ran his hands down Jimin’s arms. The smell of his skin made Kookie uncomfortably hard.

“I just don’t want to get too rough because I’m desperate,” he licked Jimin’s neck.

“Since when have I let you get away with that?”

“Since never,” Kookie slid his hands around Jimin’s hips & grabbed his ass. “Strip.”

“That requires letting go of me,”

“Sadly,”

Kookie released Jimin just long enough to get his clothes off. Instead of throwing him on the bed, he pushed him down on the couch. Kookie pulled off his shirt & climbed on top of him. He pushed Jimin’s head back & licked up the front of his neck.

“Do I bite you? Should I mark you where the world can see? Should I leave a little note for Hobi that he can’t do this to you anymore?”

“You’ve left him plenty,” Jimin replied.

“But none where the whole world can see. None to show that you’re mine,” he grazed his teeth down Jimin’s neck. “Do I do it?”

“Would you listen if I said no?”

“No,” Kookie shrugged & bit the side of Jimin’s neck. He bucked under Kookie. Kookie snickered as he kept his teeth where they were. He grunted & leaned into Jimin’s thigh.

“You’ve still got your pants on,” Jimin whispered.

“So I do,” Kookie got up & took off his pants. He stared down at Jimin like he wasn’t sure what to do next. Jimin was trying to ignore the pain on the side of his neck. He needed to power through this. One bite wasn’t the end of the world.

“What would you do if you were me?”

“I’m not the Dom,”

_Except that I am._

And thus the gauntlet was thrown.

“I think I’ll take you on the floor. Maybe a little rug burn will remind you of your place,”

Jimin leaned back on the couch & smirked.

“Maybe. Maybe not,”

“Get on the floor. Now,”

Jimin kept smiling as he got on his hands & knees on the floor. Kookie slid into him & grabbed his hair.

“Don’t forget your place, Sub,”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Jimin replied. Kookie let go of his head & put his hands on Jimin’s shoulders. He didn’t bother to start slow. Jimin pushed & fought against him. _I know you want this. I know you need this_. The more Jimin fought, the more Kookie gasped & groaned. Jimin dropped his head, arched his back, & gave one final push back onto Kookie. That finished him. He clawed & thrashed as he came. Jimin hadn’t seen (heard) him come this hard since his birthday. Jimin’s sides would definitely show the aftermath of Kookie’s orgasm. Kookie fell backwards, panting & sweating. Jimin sat & looked at him.

“Better?”

Kookie nodded.

“Good,”

“Thank you,” Kookie breathed.

“Of course,” Jimin smiled. He got dressed & left Kookie to catch his breath. He needed to ice his neck soon to minimize the mark.

**11:45pm**

Hobi didn’t look up when he heard the door open.

“Everything okay?” He asked the same question every time.

“Fine,” Jimin replied, pulling a water bottle out of the fridge & putting it on his neck.

“What happened?” Hobi asked when Jimin sat on the bed with the bottle to his neck.

“He bit me. No big deal,”

“Of course it’s a big deal. Let me see,” Hobi moved the water bottle to examine the mark. “I thought he was supposed to stick to places that could be covered by clothes.”

“I had to let him do it,”

“You don’t have to let him do anything,”

“It could’ve been a lot worse in the grand scheme of things,” Jimin put the bottle back on his neck.

“This needs to stop,” Hobi said. “Right now.”

“We’ve talked about this already,”

“That was before he bit you where everyone can see it,”

“I’ll cover it with makeup,” Jimin said.

“I didn’t like this idea to begin with & I really don’t like it now. I told myself that I had to trust you. I had to accept that you knew what you were doing. I think it’s gone too far,”

“What if he hurts Tae because I end it? Then what? I can handle it. I always have. At least I know what I’m doing. Tae was a Sub for, what, 2 months? You created us both Hobi. Now you have to deal with the consequences,”

Hobi stood up.

“Don’t put this on me! You could’ve left anytime. You didn’t have to stay,”

“I stayed because I loved you & because I believed that you could be better than you were,”

“Loved? Past tense?”

“Love. I love you, Hobi, but you’re acting an awful lot like I’m a thing & not a person right now. You agreed to be better if you became my boyfriend. Treating me like I’m a possession isn’t being better,”

“I don’t think you’re a thing,”

“Then respect my decisions,”

“And you need to respect my feelings. I’m not thrilled to be sharing you to begin with, but when he starts to go too far then I’m done. Let him figure out what to do,”

“And if he hurts Tae?”

Hobi was silent.

“I thought so,”

“Please Jiminie, just consider ending it. You’ve done all you can do for him. Don’t forget about your own safety in the name of someone else’s. I don’t know what I’d do if he really hurt you,” Hobi sat back down & rested his forehead on Jimin’s. “Think about it. Please.”

Jimin knew Hobi was right. At some point, there would be nothing more he could do for Kookie. He’d have to let him go & hope that he’d given him enough training to be okay. Maybe he & Tae could work something out that would keep him satisfied. Or maybe it would be a catastrophic failure.

“I’ll consider it,” Jimin put his hand on top of Hobi’s.

“Thank you,”

“I love you, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

“I love you, Jiminie,”

**11:45pm**

Kookie felt like a complete asshole. He’d bitten Jimin. Hard. On the neck. He hadn’t been able to stop himself. Jimin had let him do it. Kookie angrily yanked on his shirt as he walked back to his room. He didn’t feel better. He felt worse. He slammed the door to their room. Tae jumped.

“What’s the matter? Did it not go well?”

“I bit him,”

“You bite him all the time. You bite me,” Tae said.

“I bit his neck. You can see it. I couldn’t stop myself,” he hung his head.

“It’ll be okay. Jimin’s smart. He’ll figure out a way to cover it up,” Tae got up.

“He shouldn’t have to,”

Tae hugged him & Kookie buried his face in Tae’s shoulder.

“How about we do something different? There’s a big bathtub in there. Let’s take a bath. Maybe that’ll help,” he suggested. Kookie nodded.

“You shouldn’t have to take care of me every time I come back,” he said.

“Hush. I’ll take care of you until the day we die because I love you. I can tell this is hard for you & I want to help you. I know you’d do it for me,” he kissed Kookie’s cheek.

“Okay,”

“I’ll get the water going,”

Kookie sat numbly on the bed. Is this what crazy people felt like? Was he crazy? He had to be. No sane person would do would do what he did. Like what he liked. Right? Jimin & Tae kept telling him that he wasn’t crazy & he wasn’t a monster. Then what was he? Jac called them pervs. She was only joking, but it still hurt. He wanted to tell her to shut up. That she had no idea. Maybe hurt her too just to prove a point. None of it would do any good. He’d still hate himself in the morning.

“Bath’s ready,” Tae popped his head out of the bathroom. Kookie got up & trudged into the bathroom. Tae was already naked.

“Come on,” he gently took off Kookie’s shirt & pants. He sat in the tub & patted his stomach. “In.”

Kookie got in & rested his back against Tae’s chest.

“It’s nice,” he said.

“We might need to get one at home,” Tae scratched Kookie’s head.

“Yeah, if we knock out a wall,”

“Do we really need the balcony?”

“Yoongi would kill us,”

“True,” Tae laughed.

“This sucks,” Kookie sighed.

“What did Jimin say?”

“Nothing. He just got up & left. I think he’s mad,”

“Maybe you can ask him tomorrow,”

“I know Hobi will be pissed at me,” Kookie sighed.

“He does realize it’s kind of not your fault, right?”

“Except that it is. I didn’t have to bite him there. I could’ve bitten his shoulder. Or his thigh. I didn’t have to bite his neck,” he splashed the water a little.

“But it’s the neck thing you can’t control,” Tae said.

“Yeah,”

“What if you bit me?”

“I couldn’t do that,”

“I’d let you,”

Kookie sat up & looked at Tae.

“No. The second you made a noise I didn’t recognize, I’d assume I hurt you & stop,” he said.

“Isn’t that a good thing, though?”

“No! That means I hurt you!”

“It’s okay. It was just an idea. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” he kissed Kookie. “Relax, baby. It’ll be fine.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell,” Kookie rested back against Tae’s chest. Tae put his arms around Kookie.

“I know. You forget how long I’ve known you. You can get a little shrill when you’re upset. You’re like Jin that way,” he smiled.

“He’s more than a little shrill,” Kookie said.

“True,”

“Have I told you that I love you today?”

“Not that I recall,”

“I love you,” Kookie said.

“I love you more,” Tae kissed the top of Kookie’s head.

“Let’s go to bed. I need to sleep this off,”

“Sounds good to me,”

They got out of the tub & collapsed into bed on top of each other.

“Someday,” Tae said.

“Someday,” Kookie repeated.

 **October 23, 2018**  
**3:38pm**  
**Calgary, Alberta, Canada**

Jac stepped outside into the 40 degree wet parking lot behind the venue. Yoongi had probably found some alcove to smoke under & she’d been tasked with finding him.  
“Yeah, send the Georgia girl out in this effing weather. They probably think this is hysterical,” she grumbled. She pulled up the hood on her raincoat & pulled it around her as tight as she could. She saw someone standing about 50 yards away, but it was too tall & broad shouldered to be Yoongi.

Kookie. They were probably looking for him too so she decided she shouldn’t come back empty handed. She sighed & hopped around puddles as she walked toward him.

“Don’t tell me you started smoking, too,” she came up beside him.

“Nope. Just my breath,”

“Any particular reason you’re standing out here in shitty weather when you don’t smoke?”

“Needed to clear my head,” he replied.

“Jeon Jungkook, thinker of deep thoughts,” she said.

“If you’re going to be annoying, then leave,” he still refused to look at her.

“Seriously. Why are you out here?”

“Do you ever think you’re crazy? Like legitimately need medication crazy?” he looked down at her.

“I am,” she said. Kookie raised an eyebrow.

“Severe clinical depression with generalized anxiety & toss in mild OCD just for shits & giggles,” she told him. “I take an impressive array of pills every day.”

“Why would you be depressed? Your life is perfect,”

“Brain chemistry discriminates against no one my dear boy,” she replied. “Why? What makes you think you’re crazy?”

“It’s embarrassing & you’d just call me a perv,” he said.

“I promise I won’t call you a perv. I’ve done some pretty kinky shit too,” she said. He sighed.

“I like to choke people. During sex. And bite them. I bit Jimin’s neck really hard a few days ago. He’s had to cover it up with makeup or shirts. I like to be choked, but Jimin refused to do it. Hobi has done it a few times, but not regularly. It’s like I turn into a different person when I’m turned on. I haven’t hurt Tae. Yet. But that’s because I do all the kinky shit with Jimin first,” he told her.

“Just to confirm I heard you right - you’re into erotic asphyxiation, so you sleep with another dude instead of your boyfriend because of it?” she asked.

“Eroto-wha?”

“Erotic asphyxiation. Supposedly cutting off the oxygen supply to your brain makes the orgasm more intense. Or something. I’ve never tried it because I like breathing, but that’s what I’ve heard,” she said.

“It was definitely more intense when Hobi did it to me,” he thought about it. “But I want to do it to other people. I almost choked Jimin out once because I couldn’t control myself after a show.”

“Was it a strip show?”

“Scarves. And Hobi & Yoongi putting their hands around Tae’s neck. It’s part of the choreography,” he looked down at the ground. “I feel dirty. And crazy. I almost always cry after I leave Jimin & go back to Tae. I know that’s not normal.”

Jac thought for a minute.

“You’re not crazy. Biting? Plenty of people are into that. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been bitten or bitten people. The erotic asphyxiation? If I’ve heard of it then clearly enough people are into it that it made it on the internet. Is that the only way you can get off? There’s literally no other way for you to get off?”

“No. I’ve gotten off plenty without it,” he said.

“So it’s nice, but not necessary,” she said.

“I can only go so long before I can’t stop myself. I’m like an addict or something,” he looked down at her.

“Which is where Jimin comes in?”

“Yeah,”

“Why is he different than Tae?”

“He’s been a Sub for a long time. He took my virginity. He can handle it. Tae can’t,” he said.

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe this isn’t a Dom / Sub thing but a backwards way of sticking it to Hobi? I mean you’re sleeping with his boyfriend on a regular basis. I don’t claim to know your dynamics because I haven’t been around you for that long, but it’s pretty obvious to me that you’ve got some kind of unresolved issue with Hobi. You’re hurting yourself & Tae in the process, but somewhere along the way you decided that this was more important than your own relationship. Clearly a bigger part of you isn’t okay with it if you have a meltdown every time you go back to Tae. Am I wrong?”

Kookie considered what she said. He’d always been mad at Hobi for the way he’d treated Jimin. He knew he could do better. Hell, anyone could do better. Jimin was stuck on Hobi, though. Kookie loved Tae, but part of him felt bad for Jimin & knew he could be a better partner to him. He’d gotten what he wanted, but at the cost of his integrity. Jimin truly believed he was doing the right thing. Hobi was getting more pissed off by the minute. Tae put on a brave face, but it hurt him, too. Kookie was a monster, but not for the reasons he’d thought.

“What have I done?” he asked her.

“Fucked up a lot of shit?” she suggested.

“What do I do?” he asked.

“Put on your big boy panties, admit that you were wrong, & move on. You & Tae will figure something out. Sex isn’t that complicated,” she slapped him on the back.

“And if I choke him out?”

“You won’t,” she said.

“You don’t know that,” he said.

“I spent a lot of time around horses. You can’t show any fear or they’ll buck you into the next county without a second thought. Show no fear. If you’re afraid of that part of yourself, then it’ll win. Don’t be afraid of it,” she told him.

“Does that really work?”

“I have a lot myself that I used to be afraid of. I didn’t let the fear win,” she smiled. “Let’s go inside. It’s cold as balls out here.”

He just looked at her.

“I’ll tell you someday,” she looped her arm in his & led him back toward the door. Maybe she was right. Maybe it was time to stop being afraid.

 **October 24, 2018**  
**10:47pm**  
**Denver, Colorado**

Kookie & Tae were half watching another English language TV show. They’d yet to find Korean subtitles, so they mostly relied on body language & the few words & phrases they knew. Jac had been teaching them using football games & restaurant menus. Namjoon had tried to be a little more formal. They could say a few more things, but mostly just parrot back what Jac or Namjoon said. They had no idea what they were actually saying. Tae had his head resting on Kookie’s chest with his arm over his shoulder.

_Now’s as good a time as any._

“I wanted to try something,” Kookie said, struggling to keep his voice even.

_Don’t let the fear win._

Tae looked up at him.

“What did you have in mind?”

“I wanted to try & see if we can have sex without me...seeing...Jimin first,”

“You sure?” Tae sat up.

“Not entirely, but I was told I need to stop being afraid of myself. If I’m not afraid of myself, then maybe I can control it better,” he said. “Instead of it controlling me.”

Tae stared at him.

_Please say yes. Please let me try._

“Okay. We’ll try. But you have to stop if you feel like you’re getting out of control,” he said.

“The safe word is pizza,”

“Pizza?”

“It was the first thing that popped into my head,”

“Now I want pizza,” Tae laughed.

“Maybe we’ll get Jac to sneak us out to get pizza if this works,” Kookie smiled.

“Sounds good,”

Kookie was shaking as he took off his clothes. He kept telling himself that he wasn’t afraid. There was nothing to be afraid of. He wasn’t going to hurt him. Or himself.

“You sound like you’re going to hyperventilate,” Tae said as he kissed him.

“I’m a little nervous,”

“Don’t be scared,” Tae pulled him down on top of him. “You can do this, baby. I know you can.”

Kookie buried his face in Tae’s neck. It didn’t smell sweet like Jimin’s. It smelled like...home. Tae rubbed his hands down Kookie’s back reassuringly. Kookie ran one hand up Tae’s chest & rested his fingers on his neck. Tae’s pulse didn’t change. He trusted him.

“I know you won’t hurt me,” he whispered into the side of Kookie’s head. Kookie lightly curled his fingers back into a loose fist. Tae reached up & gently put his hand in Kookie’s. Kookie breathed heavily into Tae’s neck. He didn’t know what to do. He could bite him. But he didn’t want to bite him. He could lick him. But he didn’t want to lick him. He wanted to stay there inhaling a smell that he couldn’t put his finger on, but calmed him down. He wasn’t even hard. Neither was Tae. Tae took his free hand & scratched Kookie’s head.

“You’re doing so good. Not even a scratch yet,” he said. Kookie just breathed on him. Tae kissed the top of his head.

“Can I just stay here?” Kookie asked.

“Of course,”

Kookie didn’t understand why he didn’t want to bite Tae. He didn’t understand why he didn’t want to choke him. It had been 4 days since he’d bitten Jimin. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe he just hadn’t gone long enough to feel that overwhelming urge. He should’ve felt something. He had his face in Tae’s neck. There was literally nothing stopping him. All he wanted to do was lie there & feel his heartbeat & smell whatever magical elixir his skin was emanating.

“I love you,” Kookie sighed.

“I love you too, baby,” Tae smiled. Kookie finally picked up his head & kissed him. Tae kissed him back like it was their first kiss. Kookie grabbed Tae & pulled him on top of him in a giggling mess. He pushed that stubborn hair behind Tae’s ear. Even though they’d all had their natural hair color when they met (dark brown to black), Kookie loved Tae as a dirty blond the best. He didn’t know why, but there was something about it that charmed him. Tae had always said he liked Kookie with black hair best & Kookie was inclined to agree.

“What are you in the mood for?” Kookie rubbed his nose on Tae’s.

“Since you’re feeling brave, how about you take me?”

“You trust me?”

“With my life,” Tae kissed him.

_You shouldn’t._

“Over you go,” he smacked Tae’s ass.

“Yes love,”

Tae rolled over & assumed the proper position. He peeked over his shoulder & saw Kookie take a few deep breaths as he was putting on the condom. He still didn’t trust himself. Tae felt Kookie’s hands shake a little as he rested them on his waist.

“You got this,”

“I got this,” he repeated.

He entered Tae & Tae breathed out. Kookie started slowly & hesitantly. He felt like it was his first time. Tae reacted when he moved & pushed his hips back onto Kookie’s crotch.

“You want more?”

“Yes please,”

Kookie took a deep breath & started going more smoothly.

“That’s it,” Tae encouraged.

Kookie smiled & sped up. Tae moaned & swayed his hips along with Kookie’s.

“I want to try something,” Kookie said. “Jimin taught me.”

“Okay,” Tae said. Kookie leaned over & grabbed Tae’s cock. He began massaging it at the same rate he was thrusting. Tae gasped.

“Good?”

All Tae could do was grunt.

“Perfect,”

He felt Tae begin to shake. Kookie wasn’t far off himself. He gave Tae one final thrust/ squeeze combination & he practically jumped off Kookie’s dick as he came. Kookie had to grab one of his shoulders to keep him in place. Kookie waited until Tae finished & then came with one final thrust. He kept his hands on Tae’s shoulders. He didn’t feel the urge to bite or choke him. He only wanted to feel him. He only wanted to be in him. He only wanted to protect him. He only wanted him.

**11:32pm**

Jac heard a knock on the door. She figured it would be Yoongi bored & coming to smoke on the balcony.

When she opened the door she saw Kookie & Tae standing there looking slightly flushed & grinning.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“Can you sneak us out for pizza?” Kookie asked. She laughed.

“Sure,”

 **October 27, 2018**  
**2pm**  
**Dallas, Texas**

Kookie knocked on Hobi & Jimin’s door. He’d been dreading this conversation for days, but he knew Jac was right. This had to stop.

Jimin opened the door.

“Did I miss a text?” he looked confused.

“No. I need to talk to Hobi,” Kookie said. Hobi came up behind Jimin & put a protective arm around his shoulders.

“What do you want?”

“Can we talk in private?” Kookie asked.

“Anything you have to say to me you can say in front of him,” Hobi glared at him.

“Please, Hobi. It won’t take long,” he said.

“Fine,” Hobi kissed Jimin. “I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,”

Jimin knew nothing good was going to come of this.

Kookie & Hobi walked to one of the empty rooms. Before Kookie could even open his mouth, Hobi punched him in the gut. Kookie doubled over & coughed. Hobi shoved him back into the wall & pinned him there with his entire body. Kookie felt himself getting turned on.

**No. Focus.**

“I’m sorry,” he coughed.

“For what?” Hobi asked.

“For what I did to Jimin,”

“What did you do to him?”

“I bit him,”

“And?”

“I held him down. I fucked him. I made him beg me to finish him. I did everything you used to do to him. I did it because he wanted me to. I’m trying to tell you that I want to end it. It’s not worth it. I can’t do this to Tae anymore. I think you treat Jimin like shit, but I can’t change that or him. I tried. He only wants you. I could give him the world. I could give him mind blowing orgasms. He’ll only ever want you. I don’t get it, but that’s the way it is,” Kookie wiggled under the weight of Hobi’s body.

_No. Calm down._

“That’s your expert assessment? I treat him like shit?” Hobi stared at him.

“The only reason you got better was because you let me fuck you & he forced your hand. So you’re welcome,”

“And if I fucked you right now?”

“Have fun explaining it to him. Again,”

“Somebody has to tame you, Baby Dom,”

Kookie felt himself getting hard.

_Fuck. This was not how this was supposed to happen._

“I thought you quit the Dom life?”

“You never quit. You just...take a break,” Hobi breathed into Kookie’s ear. Kookie’s pulse hammered in his ears. Think of Tae. Think of Jimin. Think of how upset Tae was when he saw them on his birthday. Of how it convinced Jimin that Kookie needed a permanent Sub.

 _Think. With your big head_.

Hobi had put one of his hands on Kookie’s crotch.

“Thought so,”

“I’m trying to tell you that I don’t want to fuck your boyfriend anymore,” Kookie breathed.

“And I appreciate that very much. That’s very thoughtful of you,” Hobi slid his hand down Kookie’s pants.

“What will you tell Jimin?”

“Nothing,” Hobi licked Kookie’s neck. “And neither will you Baby Dom.”

“What if I tell Tae?”

“Tell him what? That I choked you again? The way you like it? While I’m fucking you?”

Kookie unconsciously pushed his crotch into Hobi’s hand.

“So you’re telling me you want that?”

_Don't do it, you idiot._

“Yes,”

“You’re so beautifully predictable,” Hobi kissed him. “Get on the floor.”

He released Kookie. His lizard brain had taken over. Hobi was going to give him what he wanted. What he couldn’t get from anyone else. He didn’t need a Sub. He needed to be the Sub. Hobi came out of the bathroom with the tie from one of the robes.

“Good enough?” he dangled it in front of Kookie.

“Yes,”

“Very good. Ass. Now,”

Kookie complied. Hobi looped the belt around his neck. Kookie felt himself get goosebumps. His chest heaved as Hobi thrust into him. Kookie grunted & arched his back. It felt amazing. Hobi watched the pressure on the belt as he pounded Kookie. He’d pulled a little too tight initially last time. He’d learned from last time. He loved having sex with Jimin. He loved Jimin. The 8 days he’d spent away from him had been some of the worst of his life. But Jimin had lines & Hobi respected those. Kookie didn’t. He’d fight. He’d thrash. He’d buck. And they’d both enjoy every second of it.

“More,” Kookie grunted.

“What Baby Dom?”

“More,”

Hobi pulled the belt tighter. Kookie dug his fingers into the carpet. He shoved his ass harder into Hobi’s crotch. Hobi put one of his hands in between Kookie’s shoulder blades & pushed his chest onto the floor.

“Stay,”

Kookie coughed & Hobi loosened the belt. Hobi thrust as hard as he could manage. He reached down & grabbed Kookie’s cock.

“Ready Baby Dom?”

Kookie nodded. Hobi stopped thrusting, gave his cock a few quick strokes until he felt him start to shudder. He went back to thrusting & when Kookie started to come, he wrapped the belt around his neck & pulled. Kookie made as much noise as he could with the belt around his neck. Hobi smiled to himself. He let go of the belt & finished himself. Kookie pitched forward, gasping & Hobi rolled over & off onto his back.

“Well?” Hobi said.

“I’ve been fucking the wrong person,” he rubbed his neck.

“You’re welcome,” Hobi sat up.

**2:58pm**

Jac, Jimin, & Tae were sitting on the couch in Tae & Kookie’s room drinking another one of Jac’s stupid expensive wine selections when Kookie came back in. Kookie stopped dead in his tracks.

“Good talk?” Jac asked.

“Uhhh, yeah. We worked it out,” he said.

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” she smiled, taking a sip of her wine. Jimin & Tae sat there with blank expressions. Then Tae started to smile.

“You set me up!” Kookie said.

“Technically the three of us did,” Jimin said.

“Why would you...what the hell?”

“You’re a match made in kinky heaven, n’est pas?” she looked at Jimin & Tae. Kookie had no idea what to say.

“You’re not...breaking up with me…” Kookie looked at Tae. Tae got up & hugged Kookie.

“Of course not. It was obvious that everyone was unhappy with the current arrangement. Jac told me about her conversation with you. We approached Jimin with the idea & he agreed. We just...didn’t tell you,” he explained.

Kookie was stunned. He didn’t like that he’d been played, but it had been for the right reasons. Tae didn’t want him to worry about upsetting him anymore & both Hobi & Kookie could work out fantasies they couldn’t with their boyfriends because they loved them too much to hurt them.

“And enter Hobi stage left,” Jac said when they heard a knock. She got up & opened the door. “We were just about the get to the good part.”

“The part where I was in on it, too,” Hobi said.

“Was everybody in on this?!”

They all looked at each other.

“Pretty much,”

“Well?” Hobi said.

“Sure,” Kookie replied.

And so the true Match Made In Kinky Heaven was born.

 **October 28, 2018**  
**4pm**  
**Dallas, Texas**

Yoongi looked up from his notebook when he heard a knock. They weren’t leaving for another hour & he always went to get Jac, not the other way around.

“Hey,” Kookie said when he opened the door.

“Wasn’t expecting to see you,”

“You’re kind of the only one I feel comfortable talking to. Can I come in?”

“Of course,”

Yoongi poured him a drink.

“What’s going on?”

“I...um...Jimin, Tae, & Jac set me & Hobi up. Well, mostly me. Hobi was in on it, too. I’m not sure how I feel about it,”

“Set you up how? Like on a date?”

“Not exactly,”

“Can I get the PG 13 version?”

“I’ve been sleeping with Jimin again since a couple days after my birthday. Not, like, all the time. Just to get some of my...urges...out before I do something to Tae. I talked to Jac a couple days ago & she told me that I should try to not be afraid of that part of myself. So I tried with Tae & it went fine. When I went to tell Hobi that I wanted to end it with Jimin, he punched me. I said some shitty stuff to him & then that just got me turned on,” he said.

“You can stop there,” Yoongi held up his hand.

“What do I do?”

“Well, there’s the obvious first question. Do you want to sleep with Hobi?” Kookie looked down into his glass.

“Be honest with me, Kookie,”

“Yes,”

“And?”

“I love Tae. I’d never, ever do what I do with Hobi to him,” he swallowed hard. “What kind of boyfriend does that make me? What kind of person does that make me? I mean, I guess I already know the answer to that.”

“What does Hobi give you that Tae doesn’t?”

“Do you really want details?”

Yoongi sat down across from him.

“I might as well live dangerously at this point,”

“He chokes me when I come. And I love it. I beg for it, actually. I can be as rough with him as I want. I love it. He loves it. I just wish they hadn’t tricked me. I’ve been tricked enough,” he looked at Yoongi.

“Did you tell them?”

“That I’m upset with them for ultimately giving me something I wanted?”

“If you’re upset, you need to tell them. You can’t go back & change it, but they need to know,” he said.

“Have you ever lied to me?”

“Nope. Too much work,” Yoongi took a long drink. “And you know how lazy I am.”

Kookie laughed a little.

“Thanks,” he said.

Kookie finished his drink & stood up. He impulsively hugged Yoongi.

“Never change, Yoongi,”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Yoongi hugged him back. Kookie wiped tears out of his eyes with the back of his hand.

“It’ll be okay. It always is,”

“I hope so,” Kookie left & went to have another unpleasant conversation.

**4:30pm**

“Why did you have to trick me?” Kookie asked Tae.

“I didn’t want to. I wanted to say something, but I was outvoted,” he replied. “They were all convinced this was the best way.”

“What did Jac tell you?” Kookie asked.

“Nothing specific at first. Just that you were still upset with yourself about what you liked. I told her she needed to talk to Hobi & Jimin. That’s when they came back to me. They told me they’d been working together for months to train you as a Sub for Hobi, but they couldn’t figure out how to transition you full time to Subbing. That’s when Jac told them that she suggested that you needed to end it with Jimin. If we’d approached you straight away, would you have really gone for it?”

“Maybe,”

“No. I know you. You wouldn’t want to feel like you lost that control. That you weren’t a Dom anymore. I know you’re afraid of yourself, Kookie, but you also identify yourself by it. If we approached you directly about it, then you would’ve fought us on it. Am I wrong?”

“No,” Kookie said after careful consideration.

“If I’m being honest, this is the arrangement I’m most comfortable with,” Tae told him. “I don’t like it by any stretch of the imagination, but I like it better than what was there before.”

“Really?”

“It feels less...personal. I don’t know. I can’t explain it,” he said.

“It is,” Kookie agreed.

“I wish it didn’t have to be this way,” Tae sighed.

“Me too,” Kookie agreed. Tae rested his head on Kookie’s shoulder.

“I’ll never stop loving you, Kookie. No matter what,”

“Not even because of this?”

“Never,”

“I’ll always love you too, Tae,” Kookie kissed him.

“Good,”

**4:33pm**

Jimin & Hobi were half watching TV & half falling asleep. _Say it._ Hobi started rubbing Jimin’s arm & looked down at him.

“One of the things Kookie said to me was I treated you like shit & he thought that he could do better. He could give you everything & you’d still pick me. Was he right?”

Jimin looked up & smiled at him.

“Yes. He could give me everything & I’d still pick you,”

“Why?”

“Do you remember how sick I was? Do you remember how you did everything you could to get me to eat? How you told me I was perfect & I didn’t have to hurt myself to be beautiful? How you held onto me when I was too weak to walk on my own? I know how badly you wanted to have sex & you just held me. You didn’t let me give up. You didn’t let me starve to death. Yes, you treated me poorly sometimes. But you were also there for me when I was at my worst. That’s when I knew you loved me. You could’ve moved on to someone healthy. You could’ve left me. You didn’t. I remember one night when I’d spent all night purging & you carried me to bed. You thought I was asleep. I heard you praying. I heard you asking God to help you figure out how to help me. You don’t believe in God, Hobi,”

Hobi let out a tiny sob. He’d done his best to block out Jimin’s eating disorder. He wanted nothing more than to forget feeling ribs instead of flesh when he hugged him. He was always watching him out of the corner of his eye during rehearsals to make sure he didn’t pass out. He threw away all the laxatives he found in the house. He begged Jin to make all the foods he knew Jimin liked to get him to eat. They didn’t have sex for 7 months while he was fighting it. Jimin was too weak & Hobi couldn’t stomach seeing the boy he loved wither away. Hobi grabbed Jimin into a hug & sobbed into his hair.

“I love you so much,”

“I love you, too,” Jimin hugged him back. “I want you to be happy. I want you to be able to enjoy yourself. You don’t have to worry about hurting me or me getting hurt anymore.”

“I’ll always enjoy it with you the most,” he sniffed.

“I know,”

“You’re my life, Jiminie,”

“And you’re mine, Hobi- _hyung_ ,” Jimin kissed him.

 **October 31, 2018**  
**8:48pm**  
**Houston, Texas**

Jac dressed Kookie as Leatherface, Tae as Jason, Jimin as Freddy Krueger, Hobi as the girl from The Ring (he was perfectly fine wearing the dress), Yoongi as Ghost Face from Scream, Namjoon as Michael Myers, & Jin as Pennywise from It. She was Maleficent.

“I’m not sure how I feel about this,” Jin said.

“It’s just a haunted house,” Jac said.

“Yeah & Yoongi almost punched a zombie the last time we went through one,” Hobi said.

“No punching,” she said as they got in the car.

“Will it be scary?” Tae asked.

“I guess that depends on your definition of scary,” she said.

“We all know Jin & Hobi are the scaredy-cats,” Namjoon said.

“HEY!”

“Just because I jump when something jumps out at me doesn’t mean I’m a scaredy-cat,” Hobi said.

“Yeah sure,” Jac said. She popped open a bottle of champagne.

“You’re almost as bad as Yoongi,” Jin said.

“Almost?” Yoongi said.

“He wishes he could keep up with me,” she grinned, taking a drink out of the bottle. She passed it to Yoongi.

“Girl’s got a point,” Namjoon said. They finished the bottle by the time they got to the haunted house. The line to get in was ridiculously long.

“We’re going to wait in that?” Kookie asked.

“Yup. Don’t worry, they’ve got a bar for refreshments while you wait,” Jac replied.

“Of course there is,” Jin said.

“Maybe it’ll keep Yoongi from punching someone,” Jimin said.

“Or make him more likely to punch someone,” Hobi nudged Yoongi in the shoulder.

“Shut up,” Yoongi glared at him.

“Don’t worry. I’ll hold your hand,” Jac batted her eyes at him. She & Kookie went to get them all drinks for while they waited in line.

As they were waiting in line, Jac felt someone blow on the back of her neck. All the boys were in front of her. She turned around & saw one of the Krampus monsters standing behind her.

“Sup?”

He huffed & walked off. They watched as he scanned the line & saw a group of girls who looked to be mid-teens. He did the same thing to one of them. She screamed, whipped around, & ran into one of the police cars parked nearby for crowd control. She hit it so hard that it actually moved. They all doubled over laughing.

“That totally would’ve been Hobi!” Namjoon laughed.

“I don’t think I would’ve made the car move!”

“She’s like half your size!”

Jac was wiping tears out of her eyes as she tried to stop laughing. They eventually made it to the front of the line & entered the actual haunted house. Tae stepped on a floor switch that activated a hat rack that started flailing. Jin practically jumped into Jac’s arms.

“I’m the last person who can catch you,” she laughed. He hung onto her anyway. The first room had fake limbs hanging from the ceiling that they had to navigate through. Then one of them moved. Yoongi swatted at it.

“Stop it!” Jac swatted back at him with her free arm. Jin was still hanging onto her. The second room was a dusty parlor with a maid going around it. They waited for her to jump out at them, but she didn’t. Extra creepy. The next few rooms had various characters jumping out at them or appearing out of nowhere. They had to navigate a mirror maze & kept getting turned around. Finally they got out of that & reached the end. Then Jac heard it.

As they stepped outside, they were chased down a ramp by 2 guys with chainsaws. Jin nearly took Jac down when he started to run. Hobi may or may not have set a world land speed record getting down the ramp. Tae & Kookie giggled as they ran. Jimin, Yoongi, & Namjoon were trying not to trip over each other.

“Fun?” Jac asked.

Jin & Hobi - “No.”

Everyone else - “Yes!”

“Time for more punch & then we’re going through the second one,” Jac told them.

“There’s a second one?!”

**10:39pm**

Hobi caught up with Kookie, put his hand down the back of his pants, & grabbed his ass.

“Up for a little playtime later, Baby Dom?”

Kookie was already drunk & this just made him even dizzier. Hobi ran his other hand up Kookie’s chest & slowly wrapped his fingers around his throat.

“Always,” Kookie breathed. Hobi gave his throat a little squeeze. Kookie squirmed under him. “Do it now.”

“What?”

“Play now,”

“Okay then,”  
Hobi didn’t see any of the others. They might have gone back to the bar or to get food. Jac was always talking them into getting food. He put his hand on the back of Kookie’s neck & walked him over to the bathrooms. They were individual toilets rather than a communal bathroom.

“Perfect,” Hobi smiled. When they got in there, Hobi put his arms around Kookie’s neck similar to a headlock. His back was pinned to Hobi’s front.

“Unzip your pants,” he hissed. Kookie did as he was told.

“Hopefully you aren’t too drunk to get it up,” Hobi said as he held onto his opposite shoulder to keep his arm around Kookie’s neck & free up one of his hands.

“Guess you’ll find out,” Kookie hissed back. Hobi grabbed Kookie’s cock & started massaging it.

“I appreciate your adventurous spirit, Baby Dom. It’s hot,” Hobi licked behind Kookie’s ear as he got him hard.

“Just in the bedroom was getting boring,” Kookie pushed his hips back against Hobi’s crotch.

“I’ll fuck you later. Right now, you’re just getting a little something to keep you satisfied until then,”

“Better make it good,” Kookie replied.

“Watch your mouth, Baby Dom,”

“Or what?”

“I won’t give you what you want later,”

Hobi squeezed Kookie’s dick & Kookie jumped.

“Good. Not too drunk,” he smiled. He adjusted his arm around Kookie’s neck & began making strong, quick strokes down the whole shaft. Kookie strained against him. He reached back & started clawing at Hobi’s sides. Hobi moved faster & slightly tightened his arm.

“More,” Kookie groaned.

“Not yet,” Hobi kept going at the same rate. Kookie kept struggling.

“You can keep fighting me. I’ll just stop if you do,” he whispered in Kookie’s ear. Kookie stopped moving. Hobi focused on the tip & Kookie sounded like he was about to hyperventilate.

“You want more now?” Hobi asked. Kookie couldn’t catch his breath, so he nodded. Hobi went back to using his whole hand & adjusted his arm again. He could tell Kookie was fighting to hold still.

“You can fight me,” Hobi told him. Kookie immediately started thrusting in Hobi’s hand & trying to get out of his grip.

“You don’t like my technique? I can stop,” Hobi breathed on Kookie’s ear. Kookie shook his head.

“Smart move, Baby Dom. Time to mess up those pants,” Hobi finished him & tightened his grip around Kookie’s neck as much as he was comfortable with. Kookie almost got loose, but Hobi managed to hang onto him. He came all over his pants, Hobi’s hand, & the floor in front of them. Mostly the floor. Hobi had pretty much perfected aiming to keep bodily fluids off clothing as much as possible. He released Kookie & Kookie fell forward. It took him a minute to catch his breath.

“Enjoy your playtime?” Hobi asked. Kookie nodded.

“Good. Now you can blow your boyfriend tonight instead of blowing him off,”

_Touché_

Kookie zipped his pants & they went to the sink to clean themselves up.


	7. Early November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background music (if you’re so inclined):
> 
> “We Are Bulletproof pt. 2” BTS  
> “In A World Like This” Backstreet Boys  
> “Speakers” Sam Hunt  
> “Off To The Races” Lana Del Rey

**November 3, 2018**   
**3:18pm**   
**New Orleans, Louisiana**

It was raining. Again. It had started raining when they left Texas & hadn’t stopped since. Jac had gotten sick of sitting in the room. Yoongi had his nose in his notebook scribbling away, so she’d gone downstairs to the hotel bar. It had a covered area so you could sit outside without actually sitting outside. No one else was out there. She sipped her bourbon in peace. Another thing she never got these days was time to herself. She felt like she was always chasing after the boys, they had to be somewhere 5 minutes ago, & she had to decipher 5 people talking over each other then pass it along. She didn’t know how Namjoon did it. She would’ve murdered half of them a long time ago. Not really. It was just frustrating on a regular basis. She acted like it didn’t bother her. She smiled. She laughed. She drank. Probably too much. But she’d been drinking too much since she was a teenager. It was part of her just like being short. At least she’d kicked the cocaine habit. And all the friends she’d made along with it. They didn’t have anything in common other than doing lines in club bathrooms or expensive hotels anyway. The boys were the first friends she’d made since she tried to become a contributing member of society. Her dad had made about 50 phone calls & gone over just as many heads to get her the job in the first place. It was on one condition - if she didn’t keep the job, then they’d drag her back to Atlanta if they had to. Then she’d live by their rules. Her “little adventure” would be over. She’d gotten the gig with the tour outright. She’d been so proud when she called her dad to tell him. It hadn’t all been in vain. She got to stay where she was. At least for a little longer. She took another sip of her drink.

“Is this seat taken?” She looked up & saw Kookie standing in front of her.

“Go ahead,” she said. “Should I call the waiter over?”

“I’ve got a drink coming,” he replied. He sat across from her. “Thinking deep thoughts?”

“Something like that,” she said.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“You remember how I told you there were parts of me I was afraid of?”

Kookie nodded.

“You’re afraid of yourself when you’re turned on. I was afraid of myself when I was high,” she told him.

“You did drugs?”

“Lots of them. A lot. I figured out later that I was self medicating mental illness. I almost died once. I was at a party a couple years ago. I tried this thing called a speedball where you mix cocaine & heroin,”

Kookie looked confused.

“Anyway, I stopped breathing. Fortunately somebody called 911 & I lived, but it’s when I realized that I scared myself. What I was willing to do to myself. Once I got on actual medication, I was able to quit pretty much everything. I didn’t quit cocaine until last year. I’d been doing that since I was 17. Some marriages don’t last 9 years.”

“Why’d you do it?” Kookie asked.

“Because I could? Because I thought it was fun? Because I was the cliché rich girl? Why does anyone do anything?” she shrugged.

“You say kind of mean stuff about yourself,” Kookie said, picking up his drink.

“How so?”

“Just because you grew up rich doesn’t make you a bad person. You make it seem like you’re less good rather than better than people. If that makes sense,” he told her.

“I guess I don’t want people to feel weird around me when they figure out who I am. My family is all over the damn world. Our net worth is the GDP of some countries. People used to look at me differently when they realized how much money my family has. Like I wouldn’t understand them or wasn’t worth really being friends with. So I started to make fun of myself. I guess I eventually started to believe it,” she replied.

“We’re your friends. Right?”

“Yes, you’re my friends,” she smiled.

“So that’s 7 friends,” he said. He took a sip of his drink.

“Wait a sec, I wasn’t with you when you ordered that,” she said.

“I did it all by myself,” he said proudly.

“Ha! I can finally tell Namjoon that my restaurant menu method worked!”

Kookie laughed.

“Have you ever seen our videos?”

“You record yourselves?” she looked at him while she took a sip of her drink.

“Our music videos,”

“It hasn’t been on my to do list. I got the basics on all of you & some of your music, but I never went that in depth,” she replied.

“You need to see them! We’ve got this whole storyline & alternate universe,” he told her.

“You mean like you’re in space?”

“No,” he sighed. “It’s us, but different.”

“Okay…”

“Come on, you have to watch them,” he pulled her up out of the chair excitedly.

“These must be some pretty impressive videos,” she said.

“I think they’re pretty cool,”

**4:23pm**

“Hi Jac,” Tae looked confused when he saw her.

“I’m going to show her the alternate universe,” Kookie explained.

“Oh, okay. We all die in the end,” Tae replied. Jac laughed.

“No seriously. Both Yoongi & I die. And possibly Jimin, but that hasn’t been revealed yet,” he said. Jac looked at Kookie.

“You want me to watch something where you die?”

“I don’t die,” he said.

“Well that makes it all better then,” she rolled her eyes. Kookie went to YouTube & pulled up all the videos for her to watch. They’d barely made it through the fourth video when Jac started crying.

“It’s okay, Jac. It’s not real,” Tae hugged her shoulders.

“This is horrible! Why would you do that!” she wiped her eyes.

“Here, wanna watch Namjoon with bad hair & all of us lift our shirts at once?” Kookie was feeling guilty for upsetting her. Tae was still hugging her.

“Sure,” she sniffed. Kookie started “We Are Bulletproof Pt. 2” for her.

“I can’t watch,” Tae buried his face in her neck.

“You’re babies!” she said.

“I wasn’t even 16 yet,” Kookie said.

“You don’t look so bad, Tae. OH MY GOD JIMIN’S BABY CHEEKS!” she pointed at the screen.

“I’m telling him you said that,” Kookie told her.

“What is Namjoon’s hair? And the pimp cane? Oh my lord,”

“We had zero input into this,” Tae said.

“Okay, real quick,” she hit pause. “For future reference ‘nuttin’ is when someone hits you in the balls. The word they were look for was ‘nothin’.”

“Ouch,” they said.

“Yeah,” she hit play.

“I think that was the moment Hobi fell in love with Jimin,” Tae said.

“What, when he jumped over him?”

“You should’ve see how anxious he was in rehearsals over that. He was terrified that Jimin was going to hurt himself. He tried to get it taken out, but Jimin refused. Obviously it turned out okay,” he told her.

“I actually did that thing with the hats. It wasn’t CGI or anything,” Kookie said.

“Nice,” she said.

“We got you to laugh,” Tae smiled.

“Even if it was painful for us,” Kookie said.

“Thank you,” she squeezed Tae’s arms.

“Should we show her BS&T?” Kookie asked.

“It’s better than that,” Tae replied. “Come on.”

Kookie unplugged the laptop & they all sat on the bed. Tae kept hugging Jac’s shoulders. Kookie rested his chin on her other shoulder.

“I can’t wait to hear what you think of this one,” Kookie said when he hit play.

“I’m mildly afraid,” she said. “Why are you all wearing pajamas?”

“Jin isn’t,”

“Are you in a museum?”

“Just watch,”

“I hate you as a blond,” she said to Tae.

“Me too,” he agreed.

The song started & she started laughing.

“What?”

“Jimin trying to be sexy. Love it!”

“He is...I guess…” Kookie said.

“He’s a goofball. All of you are...okay what the hell? All y’all are trying to seduce the audience now?”

“Is it working?” Tae asked.

“No, not this audience,” she laughed. “But I also know which team you bat for.”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind,”

“Did Jimin seriously try to flick his jacket off?”

“He claimed it was an accident,”

“Sure it was. Slut,” she said.

“That was a...bad time for him,” Tae said quietly.

“Ah, I see,” she said. _I drugged myself, you starved yourself. We’re the same, you & me. _“Okay, what was that?”

“I’m a fallen angel. I don’t have my wings anymore,” Tae said.

“Holy fuck that thing is terrifying,” she jumped.

“You love horror movies & you’re afraid of that?” Kookie said.

“I’m also afraid of spiders. Hush your mouth,” she poked him in the ribs.

“I don’t love you anymore,” he said.

“I’ll live,” she grinned at him.

“You’re mean,”

“Maybe I was a Dom in a previous life,”

“Makes sense,” Tae said. She laughed.

“Thank you,”

“What’d you think?” Kookie asked.

“Very good. Even if I didn’t feel seduced,”

“Well shit,” Tae said. Jac laughed.

“Sorry. Your homosexual charms don’t work on me,”

“Oh well,” he hugged her harder & leaned his head on her shoulder.

“What’s the matter, TaeTae?”

“Just need a hug from my big sister,”

“I can do that,” she hugged him around his neck & ruffled his hair with her nose.

“I want one, too,” Kookie said.

“Sure,” Jac hugged him & he almost knocked the wind out of her. “I love you, maknaes.”

“We love you, too,” they replied.

They fell asleep with Kookie & Tae under each of Jac’s arms.

_Welcome to the family._

**November 4, 2018**   
**5:36am**   
**New Orleans, Louisiana**

“Why the ever loving hell are we up this early?” Hobi groaned.

“Because you are expected to grace the fine denizens of this failed land reclamation project with your presence on a morning show,” Jac replied. She was in what she called her “translator costume” of a black pencil skirt, white blouse, plain black heels, & demure hairstyle. Everything would be touched up when they got there, but she was too much of a control freak to let anyone do much.

“Don’t forget the rules. No grabby, no touchy, no kissy, no nothing. I don’t care if two of you are married-ish,” she said as they walked through the lobby to the van.

“Min Yoongi Special?” Yoongi handed her a travel cup.

“Thank you,” she said as he helped her in the van.

“Where’s mine?” Hobi asked. Yoongi handed him another cup.

“I never thought you’d warm up to these,” he said.

“Pet blowfish, Yoon. Pet blowfish,” he replied.

“Huh?” Jac looked between them.

“Nothing,” they said.

One of the major networks was in town & they had arranged for the interview. Namjoon & Jac would be tag teaming translation. The boys had gotten better, but their English was still pretty bad. Yoongi’s was all but nonexistent. Jac finished her spiked coffee in about 3 gulps before they got out.

“I am so not a morning person,” she grumbled. Yoongi helped her back out & like Jimin could activate Sub Mode instantly, Jac activated Trained Translator Closed Course Mode. She went from looking like she was going to murder someone to smiling & perky.

“How’d she do that?” Tae leaned over to Kookie. Kookie shrugged. She bustled in front of them. One of the producers was waiting just inside the stage door.

“Good morning. I’m Julia Candler their official translator. If you need anything, let Kim Namjoon,” she gestured to Namjoon who was just now catching up with her. “Or myself know. Their English isn’t good enough to hold a conversation without a translator. I assume we’ll get a tour prior to getting dressed?”  
The producer looked a little stunned. They had to keep from laughing because that’s how they felt the first time they’d encountered Jac. Nothing was a question or request. It was an order delivered with a flawless smile.

“We can arrange for a tour. We were going to let the crowd in soon,” he replied.

“We won’t be long. Right, boys?” They nodded.

“Also, I’ll need to review a seating chart if you have one. We have a very specific seating order due to their various language proficiency,” she smiled at him.

“We had one, but you can look at it,” he handed her a clipboard. She showed it to Namjoon. It was Grope City. Tae & Kookie were next to each other & Hobi was directly behind Jimin.

“I’m sorry, we’re going to have to change this. You understand,” she smiled as she handed it back to him. They would stick to the order they used on Ellen. It had worked the best so far.

“That should be fine,” he said slowly.

“Perfect. Do you mind showing us the green room & stage now?”

Now they were really having a hard time not laughing. She’d started to lay the Southern accent on thick. You were going to do what Jac Candler wanted whether you liked it or not.

“Right this way,”

They got a quick tour & then taken back to the dressing rooms.

“If they dress you like clowns, I’m going to hit someone,” she said in Korean before they split her off to the women’s dressing room.

“I’ll do my best to keep it understated,” Namjoon replied.

“Please do,” she smiled so it hid the threat to the casual observer. “I’ll see you out there.”

“You behave, too,” Jin said.

“Always,” she smiled over her shoulder.

She spent 20 minutes arguing with the makeup artist about lipstick color & the amount of blush she wanted to use. The one on Ellen had been so much better. Read: amenable. She eventually won & was led onto the stage. The crowd had been let in & Jac was pretty sure she’d never gotten as many death stares at once in her life. _Bless their hearts_. She’d be sitting next to Yoongi instead of across from them. It was unorthodox, but it would help her hear them better. Her chair was far enough away that she could easily be removed from the shot on camera. She introduced herself to the hosts, then took her seat. She wouldn’t see the boys until they were introduced. She devoutly hoped that Namjoon had been able to keep the wardrobe department in line.

The cameras started rolling & the crowd started screaming. The hosts quieted the crowd down long enough to announce them. Jac looked over & held her breath.  _Please don’t look like idiots. Please._ Namjoon appeared to have won. He, Hobi, Tae, & Kookie were in black jeans with no rips. Jimin, Jin, & Yoongi were in blue jeans of various washes. They had either tee shirts or button up shirts & some iteration of a jacket. Tae had his beloved Gucci bandanna. They were all wearing some type of boot with a heel to give the illusion that they were taller. She made eye contact with Namjoon & he gave her a look that said “You’re welcome”.

They sat down & gave their usual introductions to varying levels of noise. It was obvious who had the largest fanbase. She felt bad for Namjoon, Jin, & Hobi. They got the least noisy response. It was still bordering on deafening, but the other 4 definitely had more enthusiastic responses. She hadn’t noticed during Ellen because she’d been too focused on their silly introductions. Now she heard the difference & it pissed her off.  _I bet you have no taste in shoes either._

They asked them the usual questions. Namjoon & Jac alternated translating & directing questions to each of them. Then it was Yoongi’s turn. And Jac’s turn to translate.

“What do you think about becoming so popular so quickly? How much has it changed you?” Jac translated.

“What the fuck kind of question is that? It’s not like I’m using $100 bills as toilet paper,” he said.

“It hasn’t really changed my daily life. It really is an honor to see people react so positively to our music & our message, though,” Jac replied without missing a beat.

“That’s not what I said!” Yoongi’s English might not have been great, but he knew she hadn’t repeated what he said.  
“Seeing all this love is the best part,” she smiled. The others were going to choke from holding in their laughs. Yoongi glared at her.

_When these cameras go off I swear to god…_

The rest of the interview proceeded as normal & they went to commercial to change the stage so the boys could perform. When they stepped backstage, they were finally able to laugh.

“I can’t believe you did that!” Tae said.

“She got you good, Yoon!” Hobi said.

“You know the one person who speaks English & Korean is going to put that on the internet,” Namjoon said.

“So worth it,” Kookie laughed, wiping his eyes. Jac looked at Yoongi smugly. He kept glaring at her.

“You’re fired,” he said.

“Above your pay grade,” she smiled.

“You're on in 5,” One of the producers yelled back. Namjoon translated.

“You can trust him,” Jac replied.

“I hate you,” Yoongi said. Jac pinched his cheek.

“No, you don’t. Now go make the girls scream,”

“Girls?” Hobi feigned innocence.

“I know. You’d rather have Jimin screaming,” Jac batted her eyes at him. Jimin blushed.

“You gonna watch?” Tae asked.

“Always,” she smiled. “Merde, my loves.”

“Merci!” they called back as they ran back out on stage. Jac situated herself in the corner so she could see them & not block too many of the cameras. She smiled to herself as she watched them.  
She’d been with them a month to the day. It felt like a lifetime. In a good way. She told herself that she shouldn’t get attached. This was a temporary gig. When they left, the contract was over. She wouldn’t be going back to South Korea with them. She couldn’t help herself, though. Jin’s laugh. Namjoon’s endless patience with the others. Jimin’s selflessness. Hobi’s dual personalities. Tae’s innocence. Kookie’s smile. Yoongi’s...everything. There was so much more to each of them, but they’d made it impossible not to love them. It was obvious how much they loved each other, too. She was an only child with a small group of friends growing up. Now she had 6 younger brothers & a...something. She still wasn’t quite sure what to do about Yoongi. They’d made out a few times. She’d wanted to sleep with him on Jimin’s birthday, but he wasn’t ready. He obviously felt something for her. He was constantly in her room unless he was asleep. She’d had several boyfriends & hooked up with more guys than she cared to count, but she was completely clueless about how to handle this. Maybe it was because she knew it wasn’t going to last or maybe she felt different about him altogether. He was a stubborn jackass, but he was incredibly talented. He may have acted like he didn’t give a shit, but he actually cared very deeply about his brothers. She saw how he interacted with them, especially Hobi, when he thought she wasn’t looking. He’d made himself into something from nothing. She’d had the world handed to her since she was an embryo. He was different & that’s what made him special. That’s what made her want him. More than she’d ever wanted anyone before.

“Did you like it?” Tae’s voice made her jump.

“It was awful. I fell asleep standing up,” _Nice save._

“Mean,” he said.

“You know you love me,” she grinned.

“A little,” he draped his arm around her shoulders.

“Ugh. You’re sweaty & stinky,” she said.

“In that case,” he looked over her head at Kookie. They grabbed her into a giant sweaty hug. She squealed. They laughed.

“That’s what you get for messing up what I said,” Yoongi said when they put her down.

“Is that so?”

“Karma’s a bitch,” he said. She just shook her head.

**11:42pm**

They all yawned their way back to their rooms after the show. As usual, Yoongi walked Jac to her door even though his room was right across the hall. He’d forgiven her at some point during the day.

“G’night Jac,” he said.

“Do you want to sleep in here tonight?” The words came out of her mouth before she’d really thought about them.

“Uhhh, sure. You don’t sleep naked, do you?” he replied.

“No,” she laughed.

“I’ll get my stuff,” he said.

“Let yourself in,” she handed him the keycard. He took it & went back to his room. Jac changed as fast as she could. She was taking off her makeup when he came back in. He tentatively sat on the bed & watched her in the bathroom.

“It’s rude to stare,” she said.

“I wasn’t staring. There was blinking involved,” he replied.

“You see my point,” she told him. He smiled. She pulled her hair back & came back out. She stood in front of him & rested her arms on his shoulders. Even sitting down, he wasn’t that much shorter than her. He put his hands on her hips.

“I’m not expecting anything,” she said. _Even though I want it._

“I believe you,” he replied. _Please just take me_.

“I’m exhausted,” he said. “Do you have a preferred side of the bed?”

“Not really,”

“I’ll take the door side. In case anyone tries to get in,” he said.

“Big, tough Min Yoongi going to protect me from the big scary monsters?” she smiled.

“I can hold my own in a fight,” he told her.

“I’m sure you can,” she slowly leaned down & kissed him. He kissed her back & pulled her down on the bed. She locked her arms behind his head & pulled herself up. That forced his hands to the tops of her thighs. She felt his breathing change.

“Too much?” she asked.

“I’ve...never done this before,” he replied.

“Surprise, surprise,” she smiled. “You can grab my ass if you want to.”

“I...uhhh...not yet,” he breathed. She felt a bulge on her thigh. He looked guilty.

“It’s okay, virginal pop star. Just biology at work,” she kissed him & rolled off of him.

“I’m sorry,” he told her.

“Hush. It’s fine,” she got under the covers & encouraged him to get in with her. They lied in bed facing each other.

“How can I want it, but not?”

“You were raised to be a good Korean boy who waits until he wants a good Korean wife & not to fuck your American translator in a hotel room somewhere in the US,” she replied.

“That’s not entirely inaccurate,” he laughed.

“I’m ready when you are. Like I said, I’m not going to push you,”

“What was your first time like?”

“Sucked. It lasted all of 4 minutes & I was sore for like 3 days. Yes, girls can be sore, too. He finished himself, rolled off me, & was like see ya. I didn’t have an orgasm during sex until I was like 20. Even then it was hit or miss. I’m rarely envious of guys, but y’all can get off a lot easier than we can,” she said.

“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try to make sure you come first. Literally,” he said. She smiled.

“Thank you. I appreciate the thought,”

They were silent for a few minutes.

“Jac?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for understanding,”

“Thanks for being honest,” she replied.

She rolled over & he tentatively scooted behind her. She took his arms & wrapped them around her.

“Sweet dreams, Yoongi,”

“You too, Jac,”

**November 5, 2018**   
**7:36pm**   
**Memphis, Tennessee**

“I feel like we never do this anymore,” Hobi said as he filled up his glass. He & Yoongi were sitting on the balcony of Yoongi’s room after they’d gotten settled at their hotel in Memphis. Yoongi lit a cigarette.

“Seems like we don’t,” he agreed.

“I miss my platonic life partner,” Hobi looked over at him. Yoongi just grinned at him.

“Street cred,”

Hobi rolled his eyes.

“So what’s going on in the world of Yoongi?”

“I slept in Jac’s room last night,” he replied.

“Slept or slept?”

“Door number 1, jackass. I was a gentleman,” he said.

“Uh huh. Or she saw you take your shirt off & was like pass,” Hobi poked him.

“Shirts remained on thank you very much,”

“So all you did was sleep in the same bed?”

“Correct,”

“Ugh, I was hoping for some juicy details. The Great Deflowering of Min Yoongi,” Hobi grinned.

“Like you’d want to hear about straight sex,” Yoongi gave him a look.

“How dare you presume what I do & don’t want to hear about,” Hobi replied.

“Really?”

“Okay, maybe not all the details,”

“Told you,”

“Seriously, though, what are you going to do?”

Yoongi shrugged.

“I’m not sure. I want it. I really want it, but I can’t seem to make myself go any further than kissing her. She isn’t pushing me, but I’m worried she’ll get fed up after too long. We don’t have forever. I have to do something,”

“If she really likes you, then she’ll wait. Jimin & I didn’t have sex for over 6 months at one point,” Hobi said.

“Yeah, but he was sick. We’re both perfectly healthy. I’m just a chicken,” Yoongi sighed.

“You’re not a chicken. I mean, the biggest risk I take when I’m having sex is an infection or maybe some overstretching, if you will. You can actually make babies. That’s no joke. Maybe part of you is afraid of that?” Hobi suggested.

“Maybe? I really don’t know & you know how much I hate not being able to figure out a problem,” he sighed.

“You might just have to make yourself try something. I don’t know what you straight people do, but put your hands up her shirt? Let her put her hands down your pants? I can only be so helpful,” Hobi said.

“What if I do the wrong thing?”

“It’s not like she doesn’t know you don’t have any experience. I’m pretty sure she’ll give you a pass,” he finished his drink. Yoongi sighed again & stamped out his cigarette.

“I’ll try. I don’t know what, but something,” he ran his hand through his hair.

“You keep that up & I’ll confuse you for Jimin,” Hobi said.

“Dude if you try to kiss me, I’ll punch you,” Yoongi said. Hobi laughed.

“You sure? I’ve been told I’m a really good kisser,” he started making kissing noises at Yoongi.

“No! Stop!”

Hobi hopped up & gave Yoongi a big, wet kiss on the cheek. Yoongi swatted at him, but started laughing.

“See, that wasn’t so bad,” Hobi said. Yoongi wiped off his face, then wiped it on Hobi’s sleeve.

“Why am I friends with you again?”

“Because I’m awesome. Obviously,” Hobi replied.

They looked at each other & laughed again.

**10:17pm**

Yoongi walked into Jac’s (their?) room & found her already in her pajamas on the bed channel surfing. She’d just stopped on a channel when he closed the door.

“What’d you pick?” he asked.

“Tiny House Hunters. These people are nuts,” she replied.

“Tiny What?”

“Just come watch,” she waved him over to the bed. He stretched out & she took one of his arms & put it around her shoulders. Then she rested her head on his chest.  _I can do this. This isn’t so scary._

She took his other hand & put it on her stomach. **Over the shirt. Not so bad.**

“Am I that scary?” she asked.

“No, why?”

“Your heart is pounding,” he replied. He stopped to focus on his heartbeat. It was definitely faster.

“Guess I’m still getting used to being in bed with a girl who wants me to touch her,” he said.

“Or being in bed with a girl at all,” she said.

“Also a likely scenario,” he agreed.

“Do you want me to move?” she asked.

“No, I want to touch you. I want you to touch me. I’ll...get there eventually,” he said.

“Like I said, I’m ready when you are,”

“You’re also older than me. Not only are you not a good Korean girl, you’re an older woman,” he told her.

“You’re making me sound like a cougar,”

“A what?”

“Nevermind. Is it frowned upon to be with someone older?”

“I never really got that far. I guess I always assumed it would be someone my age or younger,” he said.

“We’re only a little over 2 years apart. It’s not like I’m 40 & you’re 25,” she said.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that it never occurred to me that I might end up with someone older. Or someone at all,” he sighed.

“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” _Shit._

“Do you want to be?”

She smiled.

“Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend,” she kissed him.

There was no going back now. He’d set them down a path that could only end in heartbreak. And he hated himself for it.

**November 6, 2018**   
**11:52am**   
**Memphis, Tennessee**

Yoongi caught Hobi as they were leaving for lunch.

“Okay I know I’m into bondage, but you’re legit going to leave bruises,” Hobi said when Yoongi grabbed his arm.

“Jac agreed to be me girlfriend,” Yoongi told him.

“I’m sorry what?!”

“We were watching TV last night & got to talking about age & how I thought I’d never be with someone older or with someone at all. Then she asked was I asking if I wanted her to be my girlfriend. So I said yes,” he said in practically one breath. Yoongi never talked fast. Ever. Hobi stared at him for a second then hugged him.

“That’s great!”

“Is it?”

“Why wouldn’t be? This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“Well, yeah, but this makes it real. We’ll be forced to break up in 7 weeks,” he picked at the skin on the edge of his thumb.

“How about you just enjoy it. Don’t think about that. Enjoy being with her. Now that she’s your girlfriend, you don’t need to feel guilty when you finally do have sex with her,” Hobi grinned.

“Do you ever think about anything else?”

“Sometimes I think about food,”

Yoongi rolled his eyes.

**4:13pm**

Jac was napping on top of the covers before they had to get ready for an awards show that night. She was sleeping on her side with her hair covering half her face. Yoongi was continually amazed at how long her hair was. Another thing to add to the fairytale princess list. All princesses had long hair. Right? She’d taken out her earrings & put them on the bedside table. They glittered in the afternoon sunlight. He told himself he’d ask her about them at some point. Why did she wear them all the time? Did they mean something? Or were they just pretty? There was still so much about her that he didn’t know. He couldn’t possibly learn it all in less than 2 months. Then again, did anyone really know anyone else? He checked his watch. They’d have to leave soon. He got up & went over to the bed. He brushed Jac’s hair off of her face & kissed her.

“Five more minutes,” she yawned.

“Sorry Sleeping Beauty. We have to go,” he smiled. She was prettier than Sleeping Beauty.

“Fine,” she stretched. She reached up & pulled him on the bed with her.

“Hey!”

She giggled as she kissed him. She pulled him on top of her & wrapped one of her legs around him.

“What part of we need to leave didn't you understand?”

“The leave part,” she kept kissing him.

“We’ve been together less than 24 hours & you’re already causing trouble,” he tilted her chin up to look at him.

“You knew that already. I’m not responsible for your poor judgment,” she kissed his nose & rolled over on top of him.

“At least I don’t make Hobi level poor decisions,” he replied.

“True,”

She started kissing him again. _Maybe now. Maybe this time._

  
He tentatively put one hand on her back. _No. We have to leave._

He put his fingers under the hem of her shirt. He felt her smile through the kiss.

“Look at you getting bold,”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Nope,” _No really. We have to leave._

He put his whole hand on her back under her shirt. He felt himself getting anxious again. She braced her elbows against his shoulders & pulled herself up. He kept his hand where it was. She ground her hips into him. _Whoa. Brakes._

“No seriously. We have to go,” he told her.

“We’ll pick this up later,”

“Yes,”

“I’m holding you to it,” she smiled.

“Okay,”

_Oh boy._

**7:33pm**

Jac kept a “respectful distance” from the boys as they got out on the red carpet. Translation - don’t be seen in any of the pictures. They’d put her in an autumn red fitted dress with gold heels. Her hair had been curled & then pinned up so some of it fell down like a waterfall of curls. She’d been wearing down their stylists to put them in less loud & obnoxious clothes. Jac Candler always won. It was simply a matter of how quickly. Yoongi kept looking over his shoulder at her. She kept having to wave at him to turn around & pay attention. Someone was trying to interview them & he was acting like he hadn’t taken his Ritalin that day. Finally Jac sighed & walked behind the interviewer to in front of them. That at least got him facing forward.

“You realize that the same rules apply to us as them, right?” she said when they caught up with her.

“I know, but you look so nice,” he said. _Beautiful. She looks beautiful._

“Thank you,” she smiled.

“You do look lovely,” Jin said.

“You have excellent taste,” she replied.

“Clearly,” Namjoon said. They laughed. They were seated in the second row & split up each couple into every other seat. Jac was on the inside next to Jimin.

“What are we nominated for again?” Kookie leaned over & asked.

“Best Video & Best Social Artist,” Namjoon replied.

“Do you ever pay attention?” Yoongi asked.

“No,” said the rest of them.

“Do you think we’ll win?” Tae asked.

“Who knows?” Hobi shrugged.

“Guess we’ll find out,” Jac said.

Both of their awards were toward the middle of the show. Social Artist came first. They were up against some pretty heavy hitters. Jimin was cutting off circulation in Jac’s hand. Namjoon couldn’t stop bouncing his leg. Yoongi & Hobi were hanging onto each other. Tae was staring straight at the stage & Kookie & Jin were holding their breath.

“And the winner for Best Social Artist is…”

Worst pause of their lives.

“BTS!” They jumped up & started screaming. Jimin hugged Jac & picked her up off the floor.

“Go! Go!” She shooed them up toward the stage. They all looked happy & stunned. Jac was trying not to cry. She pulled out her phone & started recording.

“We’d also like to thank Julia Candler who has helped us get around in the US,”

Jac jerked her head up when she heard her name. They waved at her & the camera panned over to her. She smiled & waved back. Yoongi gave her look. _Payback’s a bitch._ They came back & sat back down.

“You think you can embarrass me that easily?” she leaned over to look over at Yoongi.

“Maybe I’ll try harder next time,”

“Except that you don’t speak English,” she stuck out her tongue.

“Children,” Jin said.

“Sorry Mom,”

Then Best Video came up. They were more relaxed this time. They’d won an award. They were happy.

“BTS!”

“What?” They all looked at each other. That’s what you get for not paying attention. They stumbled back toward the stage again. Jac gave them a thumbs up. They all smiled back at her.  
Let the world think what it wants. _They’re mine. And I’m theirs._

**November 7, 2018**   
**12:22am**   
**Memphis, Tennessee**

“To the newly crowned Best Social Artists & creators of Best Video,” Jac raised her mini bottle of champagne.

“Cheers!”

They’d changed out of their fancy clothes & were sitting around the living area in Jin & Namjoon’s room. Jac’s hair was still curly, but she’d pulled it down.

_She looks like an angel._ Yoongi thought.

“Who gets to keep the trophy?” Kookie asked.

“I’m pretty sure we have to ship them home,” Jin said.

_I never want to go home._

“That sucks,”

“Like you?” Jac smiled.

“Shut up!”

They laughed.

“I think it’s time for bed for us,” Hobi said as Jimin hopped off his lap.

“I feel myself turning into a pumpkin, too,” Jac yawned.

“Then I guess I must escort the lady back,” Yoongi said. Hobi winked at Yoongi as they left the room.

“You told him?” she asked.

“Should I not have?”

“It’s fine. I wasn’t sure how public you wanted to make it,” she replied.

“If Hobi knows, then Jimin knows,” he told her.

“I’m fine with however you want to handle it. However, I believe you were in the middle of handling me before we left,” she gave him a devilish grin. She & Jimin shared more traits than Yoongi cared to admit. While Jac was loud & had a mouth like a sailor & Jimin was quiet & rarely said anything negative - they had the same smile, made the same face when they laughed, histories they’d rather forget, & had complete control over the men in their lives.

“And you did say that we’d pick up where we left off,” she closed the door behind them.

“Which was?”

“I believe you were considering putting your hand up my shirt," _Oh boy. Squared._ She kissed him & pulled him on the bed.

“I also don’t have a bra on this time,” she said. They were lying on their sides looking at each other.  
_Breathe._ He kissed her & put his hand on her lower back under her shirt. He propped his other arm up under his head. She put her fingers under his shirt & felt around his sides to his back. He jumped a little.

“You okay?”

“I’ve never…”

“I know,” she smiled. She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t frustrated. She genuinely cared how he felt.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” he breathed.

“I’m not going to take your shirt off. Don’t worry,”

“Okay,”

She put her whole hands on his back & pulled herself closer. Her hands were warm, but not hot. They felt smooth against his skin. He felt like his hands were too rough to be touching her skin. It wasn’t like he’d done hard labor, but he’d developed a few calluses from playing guitar. Her skin was soft & smooth like her hair. He held his hand where it was. _Remember this._

“You can move it, you know,” she looked at him.

“I’m okay like this,”

“Okay,” she rubbed her hands on his back.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“For what?”

“For not knowing what to do. For being awkward,”

“Hush. You’re fine. I can’t remember the last time I took it slow with a guy. It’s kinda nice,” she smiled.

“You’re not just saying that?”

“When have I lied to you, Yoongi?”

“Never?”

“Correct,”

“But I leave in 7 weeks. I can’t wait forever. We can’t wait forever,” he told her.

“Don’t do it before you’re ready. I’ll be more upset with you if you force yourself to do something when you really wanted to wait,” she ran her hand through his (red) hair.

“You sure?”

“Positive,”

“Then keep touching me,”

“No problem,” she giggled & rolled on top of him.

The timer on his phone ticked down to 7 & a half weeks.

**November 10, 2018**   
**4:50pm**   
**Chicago, Illinois**

They’d gotten a rude awakening over the past few days. They’d gone from the largely rainy, but not very chilly South to the freezing or below freezing Midwest. They’d just arrived in Chicago from Cincinnati & were already over wearing heavy coats, hats, & scarves. Especially Jac.

“This weather sucks,” she grumbled as they got out of the elevator.

“Kinda reminds me of home,” Namjoon said. The others nodded.

“It gets this cold there in November?”

“Well not in November, but it gets cold,” he said.

“Ick,” she wrinkled her nose. They filtered into their usual room arrangements. Hobi & Jimin went into their room & Jimin immediately began unbuttoning his shirt.

“And what are you doing?” Hobi asked.

“I need a hot shower. I’m cold & tired,” he threw his shirt on the bed & kissed Hobi.

“You could’ve fooled me with the tired part,” Hobi smiled.

“Okay, I’m a little stiff from sitting on the plane. That’s more accurate,” he told him.

“A little stiff, eh?” Hobi felt Jimin’s crotch.

“Maybe,” Jimin kissed him again. He pulled Hobi’s shirt off & pressed his chest against Hobi’s as he kissed him.

“So my prince wants a hot shower? What about a nice hot bath with his mean ex-Dom?” Hobi kissed his forehead.

“I like the way my mean ex-Dom thinks,” Jimin smiled.

“I thought you would,”

Jimin stretched out on the bed while Hobi got the bath ready. They’d been back together almost 3 months as boyfriends. Hobi had been working hard to be the person Jimin knew he could be. Jimin was proud of him. He’d wanted to be his boyfriend from the beginning, but Hobi hadn’t asked him out. He’d asked him to be a Sub. Jimin had no idea what that was. He’d stalled to try & figure out what he might be getting himself into. When he’d exhausted what few resources he could find, he finally agreed. The first 6 months were rough. Jimin had almost no experience & Hobi was overbearing to the point of being mean sometimes. Once he finally figured out that was the only way Hobi knew how to communicate, Jimin’s life became infinitely easier. He’d learned to decipher what Hobi really meant when he said or did certain things. Jimin didn’t remember exactly when he fell in love with Hobi. Maybe he always had. When Jimin’s eating disorder was at its worst & he could barely walk or even stand Hobi would hold him up or carry him. He’d shield him from cameras & onlookers as much as possible. He used his JHope persona to distract the world from seeing just how frail Jimin had become. Behind closed doors, he told him he was beautiful. He held onto him for hours. He wasn’t Jimin’s Dom for that year. He was his boyfriend.

“Your bath awaits, my prince,” Hobi stuck his head out of the bathroom door. Jimin shook his head to rattle the memories out & got up.

**5:15pm**

Hobi felt himself get the warm fuzzies when Jimin rested against him in the tub. He kissed the back of his head & wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

“Good?” he asked.

“Very good,” Jimin cuddled into his chest. **God, I love this boy**.

“What do you want to do on our night off?” Hobi asked.

“I want to spend all night in bed with you & when Jac comes knocking, tell her to go away,” Jimin replied.

“I assume there’s a strict no clothing rule?”

“Very strict,”

“What happens if I violate it?” Hobi asked.

“Then you don’t get to enjoy some of my more impressive skills,”

“Is that a threat?”

“Simply a statement,” Jimin smiled.

“And what impressive skills did you plan on showing off?” Hobi kissed his neck.

“It might involve both my tongue & my fingers,”

“Don’t tease me like that,”

“Don’t violate the no clothes rule,” Jimin ran his hands over Hobi’s thighs.

“I promise I won’t. Anything for my prince,” he rested his chin on Jimin’s shoulder & floated a hand between his legs. He slowly wrapped his fingers around his entire length & lightly squeezed.

“Do you mind if I dirty up the water?” he whispered.

“Please do,” Jimin leaned back. Hobi moved in long strokes until he loosely held on to his cock. He held the tip between his index & middle finger. He gently alternated moving them up & down making sure to get the entire tip. Jimin let out a gasp & almost slipped off Hobi’s chest deeper into the water.

“Here,” With his free hand, he took Jimin’s arms & wrapped them around his neck. As Hobi kept moving, Jimin would twist & groan under him.

“Does my prince like?”

“Yes,” Jimin breathed.

“Perfect,” he rested his other hand on Jimin’s stomach & sped up. He rarely got to feel Jimin’s abs move. It was so sexy. It was sexier knowing that they were his. And his (what little he had) were Jimin’s. Hobi felt himself get hard as he focused on the feeling of Jimin’s abs contracting & stretching under his hand. He switched to using his whole hand so he could enjoy the feeling of Jimin’s stomach moving. Every movement he made translated into a contraction, release, or stretch. _God, I love this boy_.

“You ready?”

Jimin nodded. Hobi formed an “O” with his index finger & thumb. With two quick strokes on the tip, Jimin came. Hobi kept his hand on Jimin’s abs as he came. He felt every jerk, twist, & deep breath he took. Jimin let go of Hobi’s neck & rolled his head over into his shoulder when he finished.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” Hobi kissed the side of his head.

“Mmmm,”

“And I love you,”

“I love you, too,” Jimin mumbled.

**7:46pm**

Jac banged on Hobi & Jimin’s door for the third time.

“Come on, it's time for dinner!” she called through the door. She heard her phone go off. It was Hobi.

_It’s dinner in for us tonight._  
Jac: _Oh really?_  
Hobi: _Yup._  
Jac: _What's stopping me from knocking until you come out? (LOL)_  
Hobi: _I’ll send you a dick pic._  
Jac: _*barf emoji*_  
Hobi: _Are you leaving now?_  
Jac: _Maybe._  
Hobi: _I’m looking for ideal lighting right now…_  
Jac: _FINE. See you rabbits tomorrow._  
Hobi: _Love you._  
Jac: _Bite me._  
Hobi: _*laughy face emoji*_

Jac put her phone away & smiled. Maybe happy endings did exist after all.

**November 14, 2018**   
**10am**   
**Minneapolis, Minnesota**

“We’re going on another little adventure today,” Jac announced as they finished breakfast.

“The staff is getting sick of your adventures,” Namjoon told her.

“You’ll like this one,” she said.

“Oh?” he raised an eyebrow. She looked at the others.

“You can tell them,” Hobi said.

“Well, I had myself ordained online, we’re taking you down to the courthouse to fill out the paperwork, & we’re officially getting you two hitched today,” she said proudly. Jin & Namjoon looked at each other.

“I’m sorry, what?” Jin said.

“You, my loves, will be legally married in at least one country in the world,” she pinched his cheek. “And I will be officiating.”

“You all knew about this?” Namjoon surveyed the rest of them.

“Well, we knew that you wanted to be actually married & that can’t happen at home. We asked Jac to look into it & she came up with this,” Tae said.

“I would’ve done it in Vegas, but these knuckleheads didn’t tell me until after. It took quite a bit of research to find a state that would accept the various constraints we’re working under,” she told them.

 

“So?”  
Jin took Namjoon’s hand & squeezed it. It was something they genuinely wanted. They’d been referring to each other as “husband” for months, but there was that nagging voice in the backs of their heads reminding them that it wasn’t on the books anywhere. It was only between them & their brothers. And Jac. Now it could be real. Somewhere in the world would recognize them for what they already recognized themselves as. It would probably never be recognized in their lifetimes at home, but this was something. Namjoon nodded.

“We’ll do it,” he said. Jac squealed happily.

“Everybody get dressed. We’re having a wedding!”

**11am**

They ran up the courthouse steps bundled up in coats, hats, & scarves. It was barely above freezing & cloudy.

“Please tell me we aren’t getting married outside,” Jin said as they got in the door.

“God no. I’ve found a beautiful venue that is befitting of a wedding for 2 international pop stars,” she replied. They walked to the clerk’s office in their formal wear attracting a fair few strange looks. A tiny blonde & 7 Koreans walk into a courthouse sounded like the beginning of a bad joke. The boys were all in the only black suits they owned with purple ties that Jac had bought. She was in a tea length amethyst purple silk cap sleeve dress. As always, she led the way at her bustling pace in 3 inch heels. And she was still 3 inches shorter than Yoongi & Jimin. She handed them cash when they got to the door.

“Nothing is free, including the right to file a piece of paper. We’ll be here when you’re done with the boring part,” she told them. Namjoon took a deep breath.

“Thank you,”

“Don’t thank me yet. You ain’t wifed up yet,” she smiled. They went through the doors & she sighed happily.

“Never would’ve pegged you as a romantic,” Yoongi said, putting his arm around her shoulders.

“Everybody deserves to be happy,” she replied. She looked over & saw Hobi & Jimin & Kookie & Tae looking at the door Namjoon & Jin had just gone in.

“Will I be performing three ceremonies today?” she grinned at them.

“Nah. Just happy for them,” Kookie said as he hugged Tae.

_I wish._

“We’ve got time, right?” Hobi kissed Jimin.

“Sure,” he laughed.

_There’s never enough time_. Yoongi thought.

**12:30pm**

They pulled up in front of the gate to the Botanical Gardens.

“It says it’s closed,” Kookie pointed to the sign.

“Oh really?” Jac got out of the car & went up to the guard house. She spoke to the guard briefly & the gate opened. She walked back to the car & got back in.

“How do you do that?” Hobi asked.

“Heiress, remember?” she smiled. The limo stopped in front of the solarium.

“Boys,” she said. Yoongi helped her out of the car. It had been decorated with intricate string lights overhead & a variety of lilies, orchids, & roses. An arbor decorated with purple & copper fabric stood at the far end of the room. Jac led them down toward the arbor.

“Have we decided who’s who?” she asked.

“I’ll take the rings,” Hobi said. “I did help pick them out.”

Namjoon & Jin reluctantly took off their rings & handed them to Hobi.

“Namjoon, would you care to select your best man?” Jac asked. Namjoon thought for a second.

“Yoongi,”

“Me?”

“I’ve always been proud to call you a friend & I learn something new from you every day. Even if you’re a snarky bastard about it. I’d like you to be my best man,” he said.

“Uhhh, sure,” Yoongi said. “What do I do?”

“Stand there & catch him if he passes out,” Jac smiled. Yoongi looked momentarily alarmed.

“Kidding. You just have to sign the certificate after the ceremony,” she said. “Maknae line, you get to be the guests.”

“I’ve never been to a wedding before,” Tae said.

“Me neither,” Kookie & Jimin agreed.

“Then I’ll make it interesting,”

“Oh no,”

She laughed. She situated Namjoon & Jin in front of the arbor with Hobi behind Jin & Yoongi behind Namjoon. Jimin, Tae, & Kookie sat in the chairs that had been put out a few feet back from where the _hyung_ line was standing. Jac stood directly under the arbor.

“Gentlemen & gentlemen, we are gathered here today to join in matrimony Kim Seokjin & Kim Namjoon. Please join hands. If you would like to say a few words to each other before the exchange of the rings?” They nodded.

“Jin?”

Jin took a deep breath & Hobi put a steadying hand on his back. Kookie had taken out his phone & was recording.

“Namjoon, I’d say I remember the day we met like it was yesterday, but I don’t remember yesterday very well sometimes. I remember walking into the rehearsal room & seeing you sitting on the floor talking to Yoongi. Your hair was blond & you had that ridiculous mohawk thing. When you noticed me, you got up to greet me. I was nervous as hell. I couldn’t get my hands to stop shaking. You made me feel less nervous almost immediately. Then as I got to know you, I realized how much you really got me. I hoped that you felt the same way. I don’t think I’d ever wanted anything that much in my life. The first time I kissed you, I knew. I never wanted to be with anyone else ever again. Over the past 5 years, that’s only gotten stronger. I promise to be the best husband, friend, & co-parent,” everyone laughed “that I can be.”

Namjoon wiped away a tear. Yoongi put his hand on his shoulder.

“I remember that day, too. I saw you walk in reflected in the mirror. You looked really nervous. I was really nervous because I was the last one left of the original group. I knew Yoongi a little, but not much. I learned not to let my nerves show because you can’t do that in the rap world. When I shook your hand, I felt something. I didn’t know what it was at the time, but later I realized it was a sign of what was to come. I wanted to kiss you after the first day, but I was too embarrassed. I never thought that I could feel that way about another guy. When I figured out that you felt the same way, I stopped caring what other people thought. I only cared what you thought. When I kissed you the first time I knew that some way, somehow, someday I’d marry you. And here we are. I promise to be the best I can for you for the rest of both our lives,”

“Do you have the rings?” Jac looked at Hobi. He pulled them out of his pocket & handed them to her.

“Jin,” she handed him Namjoon’s ring. “Repeat after me.”

“Okay,”

“I, Kim Seokjin, take you Kim Namjoon to be my husband for better or worse, ‘til death do us part,”  
Jin repeated it.

“Now put on the ring,” she said. Jin put the ring on Namjoon’s finger. Both of their hands were shaking.

“Namjoon,” she gave him Jin’s ring.

“I, Kim Namjoon, take you Kim Seokjin to be my husband for better or worse, ‘til death do us part,”

Namjoon repeated it & put Jin’s ring on.

“By the power vested in me by the Church of Eternal Sunlight, I now pronounce you husband & husband. Seal your union with a kiss,” Jac smiled. They kissed as the others cheered & clapped. Jac pulled out her phone & scrolled through her music. She settled on “In A World Like This” by Backstreet Boys. Only she & Namjoon could understand it, but it was perfect for the occasion. Namjoon translated for Jin.

_In a world like this where some back down_   
_I know we're gonna make it_   
_In a time like this where love comes 'round_   
_I know we're gonna take it_   
_In a world like this where people fall apart_   
_In a time like this where nothing comes from the heart_   
_In a world like this, I've got you_

If nothing else, they could appreciate the beat & dance to it. Kookie took Jac & spun her around to Yoongi. Tae was being his usual spazzy self dancing with Jimin. Hobi was doubled over laughing. Namjoon & Jin were staring at each other trying not to cry & failing. Kookie put his arm around Jin’s shoulders & hugged him.

“I love you, Mom,”

“I love you, too, horrible child,” he wiped his eyes & laughed. Kookie snort laughed.

The song ended & they all tried to collect themselves from various stages of laughing, crying, & dancing.

“Ready for the reception? There’s steak,” Jac said.

“This girl. She’s perfect,” Jin said.

“Hey! You’re married now!” Namjoon said. They all laughed as they walked back to the car.

**2:15pm**

“You got another place that’s normally closed right now to open for you?” Kookie said as they walked into the steakhouse.

“I told them it was for a wedding. No one can say no to that,” Jac replied. “And maybe preordering a few pricey bottles of champagne & having a cake sent over.”

“You had a cake made?” Namjoon said.

“Of course. It’s not a wedding without cake,” she said.

“You didn’t even know we’d go for this,” Jin said.

“Really? Really?”

“Okay, fine,” Namjoon conceded.

“Exactly,” she smiled. They walked into the private dining room set for 8. The champagne was already poured & waiting.

“We’re getting drunk again, aren’t we?” Tae said.

“Is it a Jac Candler event if you aren’t drunk?”

“Fair point,” Hobi said.

“The happy couple won't be the only ones getting handsy,” Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“I thought you were used to it,” Jac said.

“Eh, still,”

They sat down & Hobi was the first one to get up to toast.

“I know I make fun of y’all for being old & boring, but I think you have a really great relationship. It’s obvious how much you really love each other & I’m happy that you got to do this & I got to be part of it. I hope you have a long & happy marriage & we can all be here to enjoy it with you,” he raised his glass.

“Cheers,”

“Did you just say y’all?” Jac asked.

“I guess I’ve been spending too much time with you,” he laughed.

“There’s no such thing as too much time with me,”

_There’s not enough time_. Yoongi thought. He put his hand on her knee. She smiled at him & acted like nothing was amiss. Then Tae got up.

“Hobi said a lot of what I was going to say, but I wanted to say that I look up to you. Kookie & I haven’t been together that long, but I hope that we can turn out like you,”  
Kookie nodded enthusiastically.

“Here’s to a long & happy marriage. From your two favorite kids,”

They laughed.

Yoongi looked at Jac then got up.

“I was actually there the exact time you met. I’m no expert, but I felt like there was something between you two. Namjoon got this goofy grin on his face that I’d literally never seen him get before. I obviously don’t know Jin at the time so I couldn’t judge, but now I know he got an equally goofy grin on his face. I’m not sure how much I believe in fate or destiny or whatever, but I think you two were meant to be together. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get into a fight. I know I’m literally the odd one out, but you’ve set an example for me for what I want out of a relationship. I know someday this crazy ride will end, but I’d like to think we’ll always be part of each other’s lives. I love you two & wish you the best,”

“Did Yoongi just say I love you?” Kookie looked down the table.

“Guess you have to get married to hear it,” Jin smiled.

“Good to know,” Hobi laughed.

“Shut up,” Yoongi looked at Hobi. That only made him laugh harder.

**8:58pm**

Jin & Namjoon stumbled back into their room.

“We’re married. We’re actually, really married,” Namjoon put his hand on the side of Jin’s face.

“We are,” Jin laughed. Namjoon kissed him.

“I don’t think it’s sunken in yet,”

“It hasn’t,” Jin agreed.

“I never thought this would happen,” Namjoon thought he might cry again. It would be the 4th time that day if he did. Jin shook his head.

“Me either,”

“I love you so much,” Namjoon told him. “Husband.”

“I love you too,” Jin replied. “Husband.”

“Of course now we can consummate an actual marriage,” Namjoon untucked Jin’s shirt.

“I’m surprised it took you this long,” he laughed.

“I was distracted,” Namjoon kissed his neck. Jin unzipped Namjoon’s pants. He started lightly stroking his cock. Namjoon groaned into Jin’s neck.

“We might be an old married couple, but I’ve still got it,” he grinned.

“Yes, yes you do,” Namjoon kissed him.

“Perhaps we should get on the bed before your knees give out,” Jin said.

“Good idea,”

Jin let go of Namjoon & all of their clothes made it off in the 2 feet from where they were standing to the bed. Jin got on top of Namjoon & started kissing him again. Namjoon wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Jin ground his hips against Namjoon’s.

“What do you want tonight, hubby?” Jin asked.

“Whatever you want to give me,” Namjoon smiled.

“Do you remember our first time?”

“Quite vividly,”

“How about that?”

“We aren’t exactly near the concert venue,” Namjoon laughed.

“I meant the position,” Jin bumped his nose against Namjoon’s.

“Ah. I can’t remember the last time we did that,”

“The last time I fucked you on a table?”

“So about 5 years ago,”

“We’re not going to use that desk, right?”

“Just throw a sheet over it,” Namjoon winked. They looked at each other, started giggling, then cleared off the desk. Jin threw a sheet over it. Namjoon got up on it & lied down on his back. Jin stood in front of him & slid into him from standing. Namjoon wrapped his legs around Jin’s waist. Jin leaned over & put his hands on either side of Namjoon’s shoulders.

“Ready for a little trip down memory lane?”

“Oh yes,” Namjoon smiled. Jin started thrusting into him. It took him right back to that hot, sticky back room backstage at their show in early September of 2013. They’d finally found an opportunity to sneak away. It was a small storage room that had several tables, chairs, & other stuff that might be used for a banquet. They’d only really had time to drop their pants. Namjoon had impulsively hopped up on one of the tables & told him to take him standing. Jin had been skeptical, but done it anyway. He’d loved being able to watch Namjoon when he made him come even if he had to cover Namjoon’s mouth when he did. Jin’s knees had almost given out when he came. Needless to say, neither of them were on their A-game dancing that day. Five years & a bit later, they were doing it again. This time as husbands in a hotel room in Minnesota. Jin couldn’t help but smile as he watched Namjoon move under him. It had been a long road, but it had been worth every step. As he gave Namjoon one final thrust & he arched his back & clawed at Jin’s arms as he came, Jin’s heart felt full. He didn’t need anything else in the world right now. Namjoon relaxed & looked up at him.

“What are you smiling at?”

“You,”

“Why?”

“Because I get to spend the rest of my life with you,” Jin leaned over & kissed him. He thrust a few more times, then came. Namjoon held onto him as he shuddered into him. When he finished, he looked up at him.

“Happy wedding day, Joon,”

“Happy wedding day, Jin,”

Namjoon helped him up & they swayed over to the bed. They fell asleep on top of each other without even getting under the covers. They were all the other one needed.

**9:09pm**

Yoongi & Jac sat on the balcony after they got back to the hotel. There was a heater installed out there so they were only chilly as opposed to completely freezing. Yoongi was smoking & having his usual scotch & Jac was drinking champagne out of the bottle. She’d kicked off her shoes & put on fuzzy boots & a coat, but still had her dress on. Yoongi had untied his tie & changed out his suit jacket for an actual coat. She moved her head & her earrings sparkled in the winter night.

“Why are those special?” he nodded toward her earrings. “You wear them all the time.”

“They were my grandmother’s, my dad’s mom. She’s the Anne I was named after. I think she got them from her mother. They’re about 100 years old or so I’ve been told. They’re supposed to have belonged to the original Mrs Candler. I’m the only girl in my generation which is why they passed to me. My dad only has 1 brother & my 2 cousins are boys. My grandmother refused to give them to my mom. I never found out why. I’m supposed to pass them on to any daughters I might have,” she replied.

“That’s nice,” he said. “That they get passed down.”

“It is,” she idly flicked at one. “If I ever have kids.”

“You don’t want them?”

She shrugged.

“I dunno. I never pictured myself as someone’s mom. My mom would love it. I know she’s already salty that I didn’t marry who she wanted me to marry when I graduated college,” she said.

“You were engaged?”

“Nothing that serious. She just wanted me to marry the son of this friend of hers who was equally rich, white, & boring,” she looked over at him.

“You’re not boring,” he said.

“Which is why I told her I wasn’t interested,”

“I guess I’m glad you did?”

“That makes two of us,”

Yoongi put out his cigarette.

“Let’s take this party inside. I’m freezing,”

“Sounds good to me,”

They got up & took their drinks back inside.

_But would you ever marry me?_

**November 17, 2018**   
**1:41pm**   
**Detroit, Michigan**

Much to Jac’s shock & horror (“Are they trying to get you killed?”), they were doing a signing as part of a deal with one of the local radio stations. They’d had some kind of raffle & 100 ARMY had won the chance to come to the signing. Jac tagged along to translate. Though they would be ushering people through so quickly there would only be time for “Hi”, “Thank You”, & “You’re welcome” all of which they were able to say. She was there more to communicate with the staff.  
The seating arrangement had gotten a little more lax now that they’d all proved they weren’t going to fondle each other in public. Namjoon was always on an end. Jin was next to him. Jimin & Hobi were next to each other with Yoongi between Tae & Kookie. Tae still couldn't be trusted not to go for Kookie’s hand when he got nervous. This was their first signing on the tour which meant it was their first interaction with fans outside of the very strictly controlled meet & greets. Tae would've immediately gone for Kookie’s hand. Yoongi periodically gave him a pat on the back to calm him down.  
By the time they made it to ARMY 85 or so, Hobi noticed Jimin’s shoulders start to shake. He shook his head & pinched the bridge of his nose. Hobi knew exactly what was coming next.  
_Fuck the code of conduct._ He put his arm around Jimin’s shoulders & pulled his head into his shoulder.

“What’s the matter, Jiminie?”

“I’m tired,” tears started to run down Jimin’s face. _Goddammit._

When Jimin said he was tired, it meant he’d been working himself too hard. Probably when Hobi wasn’t looking. He never complained about being tired unless he was completely exhausted. He’d lost weight, but it wasn’t uncommon for all of them to lose weight on tour. Hobi hadn’t been overly concerned since he’d lost about 5 pounds, too. Though thanks to Jac’s late night junk food trips, it was a lot less than he normally lost. Hobi was kicking himself for not noticing, but at the same time if Jimin didn’t want you to see it then you’d finally see it when it was a lot harder to fix.

Everyone had stopped to look at them. Even Jac had gotten up out of her seat to see what was going on.

“Just a few more & then we can leave, okay?” Hobi told him. Jimin nodded & wiped his nose with his sleeve. Jac came up behind him with some tissues. He thanked her & took them.

“It’ll be okay. Whatever it is,” she patted his shoulder. Hobi kept Jimin nestled under his armpit for the rest of the signing. It would be all over the internet later, but so be it. He refused to let go of him when Jimin needed him.

**3:29pm**

Hobi put Jimin in bed immediately when they got back to the hotel.

“But it’s almost time to leave,” he protested.

“You are not going anywhere,” Hobi told him.

“But we have a show tonight,”

“And if you’re telling me that you’re tired & you’re bursting into tears in public, then you need the night off,” Hobi sat on the bed next to him. “I’ll come up with something. I’ll say you’re sick. Because you are.”

“I am not!”

“Working yourself to exhaustion isn’t making yourself sick?”

Jimin didn’t reply. He knew Hobi was right.

“Take tonight off, we’re off tomorrow, & then stay in bed until the show on Monday. As in when we leave for the show. So help me I will tie you to the bed & you won’t enjoy it,” Hobi told him. Jimin dropped his head & started to sniffle again. Cue feeling like an ass.

“I’m sorry, Jiminie. I didn’t mean to yell. I’m just worried about you. I don’t want you passing out on stage & hurting yourself when I can do something about it. I know you want to be perfect. It just backfired, though. Now you’re going to miss a show because you’ve worn yourself out,” Hobi put his hand on Jimin’s cheek. “I love you & I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Even if you hate me for it.”

“I don’t hate you, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

“Good,”

“I’m tired to my bones. No matter how much sleep I get, I’m still tired,” he said.

“Then you need to stay in & rest. You will fall & you will hurt yourself. I can’t have my beautiful Jiminie cracking his head open on the stage because he worked himself too hard,” Hobi gently kissed him.

“I promise I’m doing this because I love you.”

“I know. I love you too, Hobi-hyung,” Jimin replied. “Can you do one thing for me?”

“As long as it doesn't involve anything strenuous, then of course,”

“Will you nap with me until you have to go?”

“Of course,”

Hobi took off his shirt & got in the bed behind him. Jimin scooted back & cuddled into Hobi’s chest. Hobi wrapped his arms around Jimin & kissed the back of his head.

“Sweet dreams, Jiminie,”

“You too, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

**5:07pm**

“Guess who gets to keep you from sneaking out tonight?” Jac’s voice woke Jimin up from dozing off. Hobi had left about 10 minutes ago.

“Hi Jac,” he rubbed his eyes.

“I’m glad to see you, too,” she smiled. “I have very strict instructions to make sure you eat a good dinner, stay in bed, & sleep as much as possible.”

She sat on the bed next to him. He realized he didn’t have a shirt on & pulled the covers up a bit.

“Really? I’ve seen like 90% of your chest already. Along with 20,000 of my closest friends,” she poked him in the ribs.

“It’s not the same,” he said.

“Fine,” she picked up one of the shirts off the floor. “This might actually be Hobi’s, but I assume it’ll fit.” He quickly put it on & then sat up.

“Or is it just because I’m a girl?”

“What?”

“You don’t want to be seen topless because I’m a girl,” she repeated.

“No. I'm just more comfortable with a shirt on. I lift up my shirt on stage because I have to. It’s part of the job. If I don’t have to do it at home, then I’m not going to,” he told her.

“You find yourself lifting your shirt at home frequently?”

“Like going swimming or something,” he sighed at her.

“Hey, I don’t live in the house. I dunno,” she replied.

“What do you think goes on in our house?” he looked at her.

“I could guess,” she grinned.

“I’m going back to sleep,”

“I’ll wake you up for dinner,”

**7:28pm**

Jac had ordered them steak, an obscene amount of side dishes, & wine for dinner. (“Why wine?” “Because it’s full of empty calories. Cheers!”)

“Yup, it’s already on the internet,” Jac scrolled through Twitter as she ate some of the mac & cheese they ordered.

“Great,” Jimin sighed.

“The cover story is an illness of indeterminate origin that began at the signing today. You have lots of well wishes &...oh my sweet baby Jesus,”

“What?”

“Nothing,”

“No seriously, what?”

“A tweet I can’t unsee / unthink / unread,” she said. “I think I need eye bleach.”

“What does it say?”

“I’m not sure you want to know,” she told him.

“You can’t say all that stuff & then not tell me,” he said.

“Okay fine. ‘I want to lick those tone ass thighs until my tongue gives out’,” she read. Jimin’s eyes went wide.

“See! I told you that you wouldn’t want to know!”

“Who writes these things?”

“This is from jiminluver29, lover spelled with a u,” she wrinkled her nose. “This appears to be inspired by a picture from the Chicago show. Pleather pants, as always.” She showed him the picture from her phone.

“I don’t think I’m hungry anymore,”

“Oh lord, there’s a worse one,”

“From the same person?”

“Different one,” Jac replied.

“Just read it,”

“‘Happy Hump Day, if only I were the floor from last night’s concert’. And it’s a gif from your solo from the same Chicago show,” she showed him the gif & the tweet.

“Remind me to stop doing that,” Jimin took a very large drink of wine.

“Seems like it’s a hit with the ladies,” Jac laughed a little. “Ack! Here’s one for Kookie!”

“Oh no,”

“‘Someone asked me what I want for my birthday. I told them putting my face between BTS’ Jungkook’s legs’. I think part of my soul just died,”

“Is there one for Hobi?” Jimin asked.

“Uhhh, hold on,” she scrolled down more. “Got it!”

“I’m afraid,”

“It’s not so bad. ‘I’ll put my ass on JHope anytime. He doesn’t need to ask”,” she read.

“I don’t get it,” Jimin said.

“It’s a misheard lyric to English speakers in ‘DNA’ during Hobi’s part. It sounds like he’s saying ‘Put your ass on me’,” she told him.

“Why do people put this on the internet?” he asked.

“Because they have even less of a filter than I do? I guess I might as well find ones for everyone else,” she said.

“I need another glass,” Jimin held out his glass.

“Me too,” she agreed.

For Tae - “Who do I have to fuck to be able to fuck him?”

For Namjoon - “Netflix & chill to K-dramas? Asking for a friend.”

For Jin - “He puts the Daddy in Dad Joke.”

For Yoongi - “Augst D can put the D in me.”

“I’m not sure I’ll recover from this,” Jimin said.

“I knew Twitter was a cesspool, but good lord,” Jac said.

“I’m going to have nightmares,”

Jac laughed.

“Don’t worry. Hobi will be here for you. He’ll be fine with you putting your ass on him,”

“Don’t start,”

“You know you love me,”

“Kind of,”

**11:18pm**

Hobi came back into the room when they got back & Jimin was asleep. Jac was watching something on her phone with her headphones in. She waved when she saw him.

“How’d it go?”

“Fine. He ate, only got up to go to the bathroom, & we read dirty tweets about y’all,” she replied.

“Huh?”

“I’ll let him tell you about that,” she grinned.

“Thanks for staying,” Hobi said.

“Of course. I’m happy to pitch in,”

“I’m glad you’re here, Jac,” he hugged her.

“Glad to be here,” she hugged him back. “You have a good night.”

“You too,”

Hobi took a quick shower, then got in bed.

“Hey,” Jimin rolled over.

“Hey,” Hobi kissed him. “Jac said you had a good a night.”

“We did,” he replied.

“I missed you tonight,” Hobi kissed the side of Jimin’s head.

“I missed you, too,”

“It’s for the best, though,” he said.

“If you say so,”

“It is. I can stay with you the next 2 days, too. It might be kind of nice to spend 2 days in bed,” he smiled.

“Maybe,”

“Just think of all the cuddles we can catch up on,” Hobi nuzzled Jimin’s ear.

“That’s true,” Jimin rolled over to face him.

“I can’t remember the last time we stayed in bed & just snuggled for hours,”

“Probably when I was sick,”

“Because we wanted to not because we had to,” Hobi clarified.

“Then I don’t remember either,” Jimin conceded. “Maybe never.”

“Then this will be something to look forward to. Hours & hours of Jiminie cuddles,” he smiled & kissed him.

“I like that,” Jimin hugged Hobi. “Only Hobi- _hyung_ cuddles.”

“I’ll take care of you, Jiminie,” Hobi ran his hand through Jimin’s hair.

“I know, Hobi- _hyung_. I know,”


	8. Mid / Late November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background Music (if you’re so inclined):  
> “Boy in Luv” BTS  
> “Secrets” One Republic  
> “Dublin Crow” Butch Walker  
> “Pompeii” Bastille
> 
> I know it's not Monday, but I won't have access to an actual computer tomorrow or Tuesday & it's a royal pain in the ass to post from my iPad. Consider this an early Christmas gift. Happy reading!

**November 19, 2018**  
**7:45pm**  
**Louisville, Kentucky**

Hobi came up behind Jimin & hugged his shoulders before they went on.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Jimin replied.

“Don’t push yourself too hard,” he told him.

“I’ll try,”

“I’ll be watching you & not because I can’t resist looking at your ass in those pants,” Hobi kissed his ear.

“Okay. I’ll take it easy,” Jimin squeezed Hobi’s arms.

“Good. I love you, my beautiful Jiminie,”

“I love you, too, Hobi-hyung,”

**11:35pm**

Tae caught up with Jimin when they got back to the hotel.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Uh, sure,” he replied. They walked to one of the empty rooms.

“You remember those tips you gave me a couple months ago?” Tae asked.

 "Yeah,”

“Do you have any more?”

“It depends on what you want, but I’ve learned a lot over the years,” Jimin replied.

“I just want to maybe try & give Kookie what he wants sometimes,” Tae told him.

“Are you sure? Don’t do it because you think you have to. This stuff is no joke,” Jimin replied.

“I think it didn’t work with Hobi because Hobi & I didn’t click or whatever. I mean, I learned stuff from him. The time I used what you told me we both really enjoyed it. Of course he saw Hobi the night before & we fought a little before we had sex, but what you told me worked. He was really into it & I stopped him from hurting himself,” Tae replied.

“So you want me to help you learn to Sub?”

“I don’t want to sleep with you to do it. Could you still help me?”

“Only if you promise you’re doing this because you want to & not because you feel like you have to,”

“I want to do this,” Tae affirmed.

“Okay then. We’ll get started tomorrow,”

“Thanks J,”

“Anytime,” Jimin smiled.

 **November 22, 2018**  
**10:51am**  
**Nashville, Tennessee**

“Welcome to the Tennessee Whiskey Tour,” Jac said as they walked up a gravel drive toward a rustic looking wooden building. A tour bus was parked outside.

“Seriously?” Tae said

“We’re in Tennessee. We have to have whiskey,” she replied, looping her arm through his.

“Yoongi, I think she’s trying to impress you,” Namjoon said.

“Oh please. I can do that without booze,” she smiled. Yoongi had to admit it was true.

“So what do we do?” Jimin asked.

“Get on the bus, get off, drink, lather, rinse, repeat,”

“I hate whiskey,” Kookie said.

“This is the good stuff. At least try not to make a face when you drink it,” she told him. Kookie rolled his eyes. Jac greeted the tour guide & they got on the bus.

**7:11pm**

They got back to the hotel giggly & varying levels of intoxicated. Jac & Yoongi were only a little tipsy. Namjoon kept having to catch Jin when he’d start laughing & almost fall over. Hobi & Jimin, as usual, couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Tae was leaning on Kookie periodically tripping, then laughing at himself. Jimin & Hobi stopped outside their room & Jimin whispered something in Hobi’s ear.

“You want to come in?” Hobi asked Kookie & Tae. Kookie looked at Tae. The last time the 4 of them had been left alone, things had gotten a little out of hand.

“Sure,” Tae said. Kookie was surprised.

“Are we going to swap partners again?” Kookie asked.

“Isn’t that part of the fun?” Hobi said. “But maybe we’ll mix it up a little. You want to play with me, Tae?”

Kookie’s hackles went up.

_Don’t touch him._

“I’ll play,” Tae replied. “Sir.”

“Good,” Hobi kissed him. He looked over at Jimin & Kookie.

“You two have fun,”

“We will,” Jimin smiled. He put his hand on the back of Kookie’s neck & kissed him. “Relax.”

Hobi ran his hands down Tae’s sides & wrapped his hands up under his ass. Tae kissed him harder.

“What do you want from me, sir?”

“Let’s see what little tricks that pervy boyfriend of yours has taught you, shall we?”

“Maybe I picked up a few on my own,” Tae replied.

“Then show me what you can do, Little Sub,” he put his lips next to Tae’s ear as he squeezed his ass.

“Yes sir,” Tae put his hands under Hobi’s shirt.

Kookie couldn’t stop looking over his shoulder. Jimin kept having to turn his head to face him again.

“What's he doing?”

“They’re fine. Calm down,” Jimin unzipped Kookie’s jeans & pulled out his dick. He began carefully massaging it. “Look at me.”

“He’s going to hurt him,” Kookie fidgeted.

“Tae is fine. Trust me,” Jimin increased the pressure & Kookie started to squirm.

Hobi got all of Tae’s clothes off & they got up on their knees facing each other.

“Show me something,” Hobi said. Tae ran his hand up Hobi’s chest & wrapped his fingers around Hobi’s throat.

“Now what?”

Tae took his other hand & grabbed Hobi’s cock. He began the ripple motion starting at the base.

“For this to work right, you either need to lie down or I need to get behind you,” Tae told him.

“You think I trust you behind me, Little Sub? You’ll make it work or you’ll show me something else,” Hobi pulled Tae closer toward him. Tae started running his index finger up Hobi’s neck.

“Is this what you want? Kookie loves it. It drives him crazy,”

“No, Little Sub, it’s not. It’s a good trick, though,” Hobi smiled.

“What do you want?”

“Can you still handle it hard?” Hobi asked.

“I can handle Kookie,” Tae grinned.

“Then let’s have some fun,” Hobi pushed Tae over & got on top of him.

Kookie whipped around when he heard the thud. Hobi was on top of Tae kissing him ferociously. Tae was arching his back & clawing at Hobi’s back. Kookie moved to push Hobi off of Tae. Jimin grabbed his arm.

“After all the times you hurt him, are you going to do this & show him that you don’t trust him to handle himself with someone he’s already been with?” he asked.

“He’ll hurt him!”

“Will he?”

Kookie looked at them. He knew Tae. He loved Tae. Tae was enjoying this. He watched as Tae bit Hobi’s lip & Hobi ground his hips into Tae. Jimin was watching as well.

“Trust him,” Jimin said. Kookie looked at them one more time then turned around to face Jimin.

“Fuck me. Hard,”

“I can do that,”

Hobi groaned when Tae bit his lip. The clawing had only gotten him hotter.

“Turn over, Little Sub,”

“Of course, sir,” Tae rolled over. Hobi thrust into him & Tae grunted. It had been a long time since Hobi had fucked him. He’d forgotten what it felt like to have Hobi inside him.

“You ready, Little Sub?”

“Yes sir,” Tae replied. Hobi leaned on Tae’s back & blew out a hot breath on his ear. Then he thrust into him. Tae groaned.

“Good Little Sub,” Hobi smiled. He sat back up & held on to Tae’s waist as he started pounding him. Tae pushed back on Hobi’s cock.

“You going to fight me?”

“Will it please you?”

“It will,”

Tae wrestled against Hobi’s grip on his waist. Hobi moved his hands up to Tae’s shoulders. He smacked Tae’s ass as he changed his grip.

“Behave yourself,” he said. Tae ground his ass against Hobi’s dick.

“If it pleases you, sir,” Tae replied.

“For the moment,” Hobi kept pounding him. Tae groaned & squirmed under him. “Good Little Sub.”

Kookie refused to look in Hobi & Tae’s direction. He tried to focus on the feeling of Jimin’s cock going in & out of him. Jimin took his nails & raked them down Kookie’s sides. He jumped a little.

“Stop thinking,” Jimin told him. Kookie responded by pushing back against Jimin.

“That’s better,”

Tae felt himself getting close. Hobi leaned down & grabbed his dick.

“Now, do you know what good Little Subs say when they want to finish?”

“Tell me,” Tae breathed.

“You say ‘finish me, sir’,”

“Finish me, sir,”

“Good Little Sub,” Hobi smiled & squeezed Tae’s cock at the same time he gave him a powerful thrust. Tae fell down on his elbows as he groaned & writhed. It wasn’t as good as when he was with Kookie, but it was still a good orgasm. Hobi pulled out when he finished & looked down at Tae.

“Well done,”

“What about you?” Tae pushed himself up to sitting.

“I think your boyfriend has an opinion about that,” Hobi kissed him.

When he heard Tae coming, Kookie immediately stopped moving. Jimin waited for Kookie’s reaction. He looked back at Jimin over his shoulder. Jimin pulled out & sat down. It took everything Kookie had to not shove Hobi off Tae when he saw them kissing. He stared at Hobi.

“You want your turn, Baby Dom?”

“I’m fine. He didn’t hurt me,” Tae said. Kookie didn’t say anything. “Baby, I’m fine. Really.”

“I’ll take my turn,” Kookie kept staring at Hobi.

“I thought you might. Though it would behoove you to believe your boyfriend when he tells you something,” Hobi grinned. Jimin looked at Tae & gave him an almost imperceptible nod. Tae moved to sit next to Jimin.

“Is this the part you told me about?” Tae whispered as Kookie & Hobi continued their staring contest.

“Yes,” Jimin replied.

_Are you going to show him that you don’t trust him?_

“Tae,” Kookie said.

“Yes?”

“Finish me,”

“Yes baby,” Tae replied & crawled over to Kookie. Hobi sat back with Jimin against the couch & put his arm around Jimin’s shoulders. Kookie leaned with his back against the bed & Tae positioned himself next to him. He put his face in Kookie’s neck & began the ripple motion up his cock. Kookie immediately started to gasp & squirm. Tae breathed out onto Kookie’s neck while he massaged the tip with his thumb.

“Oh, fuck baby,” he groaned. Jimin & Hobi watched intently. Tae straddled one of Kookie’s legs without stopping. He wrapped his arm around the back of Kookie’s neck & kissed him. Kookie was continuously moaning & squirming at this point. Tae leaned over & said something in his ear that Jimin & Hobi couldn’t hear. Kookie nodded & tilted his head back. Tae loosely rested his hand on Kookie’s neck, squeezed one final time, & Kookie came. Tae had to fight to stay sitting on him as Kookie pushed his head down & toward Tae’s hand. Tae didn’t let go until Kookie finished.

“I’m sorry,” Kookie looked at him.

“You come all over both of us all the time,” Tae said.

“No,” Kookie said. “For not trusting you.” Tae smiled.

“Apology accepted,” he looked over at Jimin & Hobi. “Can we borrow your shower?”

“Go for it. It’ll give us time to take care of business,” Hobi winked. Jimin swatted him.

“Thanks,” Tae helped Kookie up & they headed to the bathroom.

**8:35pm**

“Our turn,” Hobi grinned when the bathroom door closed. He kissed Jimin so hard that he tipped him over.

“Sorry love,”

“I enjoy your enthusiasm,” Jimin looked up at him.

“How would my prince like it tonight?”

“Does my mean ex-Dom have an itch to scratch?”

“Nah. You know that was all show,” Hobi got on top of him.

“Just thought I’d ask,”

“But…”

“Go ahead,” Jimin laughed.

“I love you, Jiminie,”

“I love you too, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

Hobi forced Jimin’s arms over his head & kissed him aggressively. Jimin strained against his grip as he kissed him back.

“Roll over,”

“Of course,” Jimin rolled over & put his ass up in front of Hobi. He ran his hand across Jimin’s ass before stopping to give it a solid hit. Jimin moaned. Hobi did it again.

“I love it when you make that sound,” Hobi ran his hands up & down Jimin’s back.

“Anything to please you,” Hobi shivered.

“Don’t make me come before I even get inside you,” Jimin laughed again. Hobi changed out the condom & slid inside him. Jimin groaned & swayed his back.

“Ready, my prince?”

“When you are, mean ex-Dom,” Jimin looked back at Hobi. Hobi started thrusting into him & Jimin pushed back against Hobi’s crotch. They’d both warmed up a little with Tae & Kookie, especially Hobi. He was determined that Jimin would (literally) come first. He put his fingers in Jimin’s hair & pulled his head back. Jimin started panting & wrestling against him. Then the tickle. The noise of the shower may or may not have muffled the sound of Jimin coming. He shoved his ass back onto Hobi’s cock & ground against it as he came. The grinding finished Hobi. He let go of Jimin’s hair & grabbed onto his waist. The noise from both of them was definitely loud enough to be heard in the shower.

_Oh well._

Hobi wrapped an arm around Jimin’s chest as he lowered them to the floor. They lied there facing each other.

“Thanks for helping me with Tae,”

“Of course. He definitely learned from the best,” Hobi smiled.

“You flatter me,”

“Just the truth,” Hobi kissed him. “You need to start a BDSM school. You’ve trained a Dom & a Sub. Well...one is a little of both.”

“Yeah, if this whole idol thing doesn’t work out then I have an alternate career path,” Jimin laughed.

“You’re amazing, Jiminie,”

“So are you, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

 **November 24, 2018**  
**6:45pm**  
**Auburn, Alabama**

Jac bounded ahead of them toward the stadium gates. When Jac had finally looked at the tour schedule, she realized they’d be in Atlanta the weekend of Thanksgiving. The Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend was the Iron Bowl or the annual meeting of Auburn & the University of Alabama. She’d convinced, or rather forced, them to come with her. She’d introduced them to plenty of things unique to the US, but this was wholly unique to the South. Not only that, it was wholly unique to football fans. They’d never seen her this bouncy or enthusiastic. If she was willing to sneak them out to another state for something other than food, it had to be worth seeing.

“Hurry up!” she yelled in Korean. People around them stared as one did not often hear Korean in Auburn, Alabama. She turned around & grabbed Yoongi’s arm. A warm, fuzzy feeling came over him when she touched him.

“Is this really this important?” Jin was still baffled by the whole concept. She’d been making them watch games with her to try & teach them the rules. She’d been moderately successful.

“Keep an open mind,” Namjoon said. They’d all had their hair dyed either blue or orange (Auburn colors) & she got them all shirts. The staff had been pretty pissed off when she’d gone behind their backs to change their hair color, but the staff was pretty much pissed at her 24 / 7. They were disposable. She wasn’t. They got settled into their seats, which were really just bleachers, & got ready for kickoff.

“My parents have box seats, but this is way more fun,” she said as she stood on the bleachers as opposed to the others who could stand normally. She leaned on Namjoon’s shoulder & took a sip of her beer. They were near the (very rowdy) student section.

“It’s gonna get real loud in here,” she smiled. They all looked at her.

“Is that a…?” Tae pointed up.

“Fighter jet? Yup,”

They all looked stunned.

“Welcome to the SEC, boys,” she laughed. They stared when the teams ran out to fireworks & loud music. She told them when to cheer & when to boo. She tried to teach them the chants, but some things flat out get lost in translation. Auburn won with a field goal in the last 10 seconds. The students rushed the field. It was Alabama’s only loss.

“Did you have fun?” she asked. They all nodded, still trying to process what they’d seen.

“I haven’t been to a game in years. I forgot how much fun they are,” she laughed, mostly to herself.

“I’ll drive,” Jin said as Jac had more than a few beers. Yoongi fell in step with her.

“It was fun,” he said.

“Good,” she smiled. She took off her baseball cap & put it on his head. “Not a bad look.”

“I think my head is a little bigger than yours,” he said.

“Your head is bigger than a lot of people’s,” she grinned.

“Did you just insult me?” he asked.

“Probably. Blame the beer,” she said.

“I blame the beer,” he said. He took the hat off & put it back on her head. She took his arm & put it around her shoulders. They stopped behind the van & she turned to face him.

“Hey Yoongi,”

“Yeah?”

She popped up on her toes & kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her waist & picked her up. He shouldn’t be kissing her in public. Someone could see them. Someone could take a picture & post it on the internet. It could get him fired. It could get him blacklisted from the entire industry if he pissed off the wrong person. Yet he didn’t care. Somewhere along the way, he’d stopped caring what would happen to him. He had lost his mind over a girl whose way of showing affection was insulting you. Yoongi never wanted to be with anyone else ever.

“Thank you,” he said.

“For what?”

“Being you,” he held her hand. She laughed.

“Sure, no problem,”

They all piled back in the car to head back to Atlanta & likely to a significant tongue lashing. Jac fell asleep with her head on Yoongi’s shoulder.

The countdown on his phone ticked down to 5 weeks.

 **November 25, 2018**  
**12:30am**  
**Atlanta, Georgia**

“Lift with your legs,” Kookie said when they got back & Yoongi was trying to get Jac out of the car without waking her up. “It’s not like she’s heavy.”

“For you, maybe,” Yoongi glared at him.

“Do you need me to take her?”

“No, I can do it,” he insisted. His shoulder was killing him from the weight. She was only about 100 pounds, but Yoongi didn’t work out nearly as much as the rest of them because of his jacked up shoulder. He’d gotten into an accident when he was a trainee & never got it fixed. It didn’t heal correctly so it would give him trouble periodically. He refused to admit defeat. He hoped he didn’t drop her before he got her in their room. He was huffing & puffing pretty good when Kookie helped him open the door.

“Thanks,” Yoongi said.

“Need anything else?”

_Yeah. Leave._

“I’ll just get her in bed,”

“Okay. See you tomorrow,”

“G’night,” Yoongi nodded. He put her down on the bed & immediately started rubbing his shoulder. He knew someone would have the good pain meds. Right now he needed something to take the edge off. He checked the fridge & pulled out 2 mini bottles of vodka. Not his first choice, but he couldn’t afford to be picky. He also grabbed a water bottle & put it on his shoulder. He drank both bottles then flopped down onto the couch. Hopefully he’d be able to lift his arm by tomorrow night.

“Yoongi?” he looked over & saw Jac had picked her head up.

“Didn’t want to wake you up,” he said.

“What’d you do to your arm?”

“Old injury. I should’ve let Kookie carry you,” he laughed a little. “I can’t carry a bag of rice.”

“At least I know you aren’t calling me fat,”

“You are definitely not fat,” he said.

“Do you want to lie down?” she asked.

“I’m good. Still gotta ice this a bit,”

Jac got up & went to sit next to him on the couch.

“Have company anyway,” she burrowed under his good arm. The water bottle had started to get wet & soak his shirt. He put it down & winced as he moved his arm.

“Are you sure you don’t want to lie down? You look like you’re in a lot of pain,” she looked up at him.

“Waiting for that vodka to kick in,” he said.

“Why didn’t you get your drug of choice?”

“It's in the other room,” he replied.

“Do you want me to go get it for you?”

“I’ll be fine. I just need to sit up for a little longer,” he told her.

“If you’re sure,” she sat up.

“I am,” he kissed her & put his hand on her back. He kept the bad shoulder propped up on the back of the couch. She put her hands in his (Auburn Blue) hair. She tasted like beer & mustard. She smelled like gardenias. He’d never smelled a gardenia until she’d had them smell her perfume. She said it reminded her of home. Her hair tickled his arm. He moved his arm off the back of the couch & on to her thigh.

“You sure?” she asked, noticing he’d moved.

“I’ll have someone get me the good stuff later,” he told her.

“Okay, but I’m keeping an eye on you,” she said.

“Deal,” he replied. She straddled him, placed his hands on her hips without a word, & she kissed him again. She braced her arms on the back of the couch as she kissed him. She ground her hips into him.

_I can do this._

He held onto her hips harder. She pulled back & looked at him.

“You ready?” she smiled. He knew that smile. That meant trouble would arrive in about 0.003 seconds. Then she took off her shirt.

“May I?” she looked at his shirt.

“I’ll do it. Bad shoulder,” he replied. She watched him intently. He gingerly took off his shirt. He hated showing off his chest & abs. He’d lifted his shirt only a handful of times & hated each & every time. Kookie & Jimin had the abs. He was a rapper. He didn’t need to show off anything. He didn’t want to show off anything. Now he had a girl sitting in his lap telling him to take off his shirt because she wanted what was underneath it.

“See? Nothing to be afraid of,” she said. This time when she kissed him, her bare stomach touched his bare chest. The feeling took his breath away. He felt like he was drowning & floating at the same time. If this is how Jin felt with Namjoon or Hobi felt with Jimin or Kookie felt with Tae then he understood why they did what they did. This girl - this crazy, foul mouthed, hard drinking, football loving, gorgeous rich girl - showed him what that was like. He ran his hands up her sides. He wanted to remember every inch of her. He needed to.

“Why don’t you ever lift your shirt?”

“Nothing to see,” he said.

“I disagree,” she ran her hands down his chest & stopped right below his navel. She hooked the tip of her finger in his waistband & slowly ran her finger across his abdomen.

_Okay, maybe not totally ready. 95%?_

“Give me one more day?”

“Sure,” she smiled. “All the time you need.”

“Let’s go to sleep,” he said.

“Okay,”

“I won’t wear a shirt,” he told her.

“Mmmm positively scandalous,” she kissed him again & got off him. He kissed her when he stood up. Their bare skin touched again & he felt like he’d been punched. All the air had been knocked out of his lungs. If this was a preview of having sex with her, he might die.

_I’m okay with that._

“I’m gonna have a smoke before I get in bed, okay?”

“Sure,” she stretched. “I’ll go change.”

Yoongi went out on the balcony to smoke. He could barely lift his right arm. He’d have one of the staff pick up the good pain meds in the morning. He leaned his head back & looked up at the sky. It was too bright to see many stars. He could always see the stars at home. Not in Seoul, but his actual home. He hadn’t been back in years. When they did get breaks, it was never for very long. He missed his family, but BTS had become his family. A very horny family, but a family nonetheless. Jac had left home, too. She hadn’t said why. He hadn’t asked. It wasn’t really his business. Maybe someday she’d tell him. Maybe he’d never know. A song started to form in his head & he grabbed his notebook before it disappeared back into the rest of his thoughts.

**8pm**

Fortunately for Yoongi between the pain medication & resting his arm most of the day, his shoulder was almost normal by the time the show started. Jac was dressed up as usual. This time it was the black sequined jumpsuit she’d worn for Jimin’s birthday.

“How long does it take you to get out of that?” he asked.

“Already thinking of how to get me out of this?” she smiled.

“It was a purely academic question,” he said.

“How about I make you figure it out later?”

“Maybe I will,” he stepped closer to her & put his hand on the small of her back.

“Careful. You don’t want to be performing with a boner the entire time,”

“That would make it harder to get into the pants,” he consented.

“When really you just want to get into mine,” she smiled.

“I was always too transparent,” he kissed her.

“Get a room!” Hobi yelled when he walked backstage to their places. Jac flipped him off. Hobi laughed.

“Merde,” she said.

“Merci,” he replied. Her hair swung over her shoulders as she walked away. She’d stopped watching from the wings & had moved to the monitors in the green room.

“I’m happy for you,” Hobi said.

“Thanks,” he said.

“Don’t sound so excited,”

“I’m a little distracted,” Yoongi said.

“Ah. Say no more,” Hobi said.

“You do it to me all the time,”

“It’s a figure of speech,”

“I might do it to you anyway,” Yoongi smiled at him.

“This is karma, isn’t it?”

“Yup,”

**11:49pm**

“No seriously, how the hell do you get out of this thing?” Yoongi asked as he looked at Jac’s outfit. She pulled the halter over her head & unzipped one of the sides. It fell down around her waist.

“Is all women’s clothing this complicated?”

“Not all of it. The bra might still slow you down, though,” she smiled as she put her hands under his shirt. He took the hint & pulled off his shirt. She took his hands & wrapped them around her back & helped him unhook her bra.

“Will you faint if you see boobs?” she teased.

“I’ve seen porn, thank you. It’s not like I’ve never seen a boob in my life,” he said.

“Yes, but these are real,” she pointed out.

“Fair,”

He sat on the bed & even standing she wasn’t that much taller than him. She let the bra fall to the floor. He wasn’t sure what boobs were supposed to look like, but these looked pretty damn perfect. She pushed down the rest of the jumpsuit until she was just in her underwear.

“I think you’ve got too many clothes on,” she said.

“Apologies,” he took off his pants, then grabbed her & pulled her down on the bed with him. He ran his hand down her back as he kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

“Now what?”

“Still too many clothes,” she smiled. “But I’m guilty of that, too.”

She took off her underwear & flicked it over her shoulder. Maybe like he made everything look cool, she made everything look sexy. Or maybe it was because he’d been waiting for this moment for what felt like forever. When they were both naked, she got on top of him.

“I’ll be gentle. Unless you don’t want me to be,” she traced figure 8s on his chest.

“I trust you,” he told her.

“Good choice,” she smiled. She lowered herself onto his dick & waited there for a minute.

“You good?” she asked. He nodded. She leaned over & held herself up over him. Jac ground her hips against him & he started to move.

“Yes? No? Better? Worse?”

Yoongi couldn’t even think. The feeling of being inside her was overwhelming. He’d imagined it more than he would ever admit, but the real thing was nothing like the fantasy. It was so much better. He wanted to stay like this forever. She leaned over next to his ear.

“If you don’t start talking, I’m just going to have my way with you,” she said.

“Please do,” he whispered back.

“That’s risky. You don’t know how much time I’ve been spending with the Doms,” she kissed his ear.

“Do whatever you want to me, Jac,”

“That’s really the way to a woman’s heart,” she kissed him. She kept kissing him as she moved up & down his cock. The grinding was satisfying, but this was more fun. Especially fast. He ran his hands up her arms, down her sides, & grabbed her ass.

“You do love your asses around here,” she kissed his jaw & slowed down. She felt his chest start to rise & fall faster. She ran her hands up his chest & braced them just above his shoulders. While he was still holding onto her ass, she sped up again. She felt him start to twitch inside her. She stopped for a second.

“Ready?”

He simply panted at her.

“I’ll take that as a yes,”

She ground against him as hard as she could. She lied down on top of him & with a couple well placed hip contractions, he came. He grabbed her into a bear hug & thrust into her. He buried his face in her shoulder. Jac could feel his hot breaths in the crook of her neck. When he finished, he still hung onto her.

“Good?” she asked.

“Perfect,” he kissed her. “What about you?”

“I’m fine,”

“It’s not fair that I get to have all the fun,” he said.

“Oh I had fun,” she kissed his nose.

“You know what I mean,”

“If you insist,”

She rolled off of him & put his hand between her legs.

“There’s one little spot that’s sole purpose is pleasure,” she put his index finger on her clit. “You might do well to remember it.”

_I’ll remember it all._

“What do I do?”

“Rub it until I come. Gently, mind you,” she told him. He started to move his finger in a circle. She immediately started to squirm. It wouldn’t take long at all. She’d been close when she finished him. He watched her intently as he moved his finger. Which movements caused what reaction. Then he seemed to find the perfect spot. She grabbed onto his arms as she came, trying not to scratch him. She twisted & writhed under him. What she’d just done to him he was able to do for her. He wanted to do everything for her. Always.

 **November 27, 2018**  
**1:50pm**  
**Atlanta, Georgia**

Hobi approached Tae when they were both headed to the elevator.

“So, you up for trying again?” Hobi asked. “I thought last time went quite well.” Tae thought for a moment.

“Will Jimin be there?”

“I can arrange that. You going to bring your boyfriend? He caused a little trouble last time,” Hobi stepped forward & ran a finger across Tae’s chin.

“We’re a package deal,” Tae replied.

“Then I’ll bring Jimin,”

“It’s a date,” Tae said. Hobi just smiled.

**2:24pm**

They met in Tae & Kookie’s room. Kookie shifted uncomfortably. He wished he’d had at least one shot. They were all sober & they were all going to participate in what Hobi referred to as “playtime”. Hobi had started making out with Tae. Tae had his hand behind Hobi’s head. Hobi had his hands firmly on Tae’s ass.

“Good Little Sub,” he hissed. Tae tilted his head back & Hobi held his hands behind his back. Hobi nipped at Tae’s shoulder & Tae jumped a little. Jimin came up behind Kookie.

“Try & think how Tae felt,” he whispered as he lightly stroked Kookie’s neck. Kookie’s breathing got more shallow. Jimin kissed his neck.

“Okay,” Kookie replied.

“He needs to see you trust him,” Jimin put his arms around Kookie’s hips & snaked his hands down the front of his pants. Kookie squeaked.

“Do you trust me?” Jimin asked. Kookie nodded.

“Then let’s get started,”

Tae watched Jimin & Kookie out of the corner of his eye. Jimin seemed to be keeping Kookie distracted.

_Good._

“You ready, Little Sub?” Hobi brushed his lips against Tae’s ear.

“Yes sir,”

“Get on your knees. Let’s see what you’ve learned in the past few months,”

“Yes sir,” Tae smiled as he took Hobi in his mouth. He wrapped his tongue around the underside of his cock & closed his lips. He moved the tip of his tongue side to side at the base of the shaft. Hobi coughed a little. He put his hands on Tae’s shoulders. Tae methodically worked his way to the tip. He used his whole tongue on the bump at the tip. Hobi groaned.

“Good Little Sub,” he breathed. Tae grabbed Hobi’s ass & took as much of him as he could. Hobi put his hand on the back of Tae’s head & held it there. Tae continued to run his tongue back & forth at the base. Hobi was having trouble standing.

“Finish me,”

Tae reached up & took Hobi’s hand off his head. He pulled his head back & lightly sucked on the tip. Hobi came & pushed Tae’s head back all the way on his cock. Tae tightened his grip on Hobi’s ass. He thrust hard into Tae’s mouth. When Hobi finished, he balanced himself on Tae’s head. Tae put his hand on Hobi’s chest & pushed him up so he could get out from under him.

“Did I please you, sir?”

“Yes Little Sub. You did well,” Hobi kissed him.

“You’re welcome, sir,”

Jimin unbuttoned Kookie’s pants. He licked the side of Kookie’s neck as he pushed down the top of his pants & curled his fingers around his dick. Jimin felt Kookie’s pulse increase in his chest.

“What are you going to do to me?” Kookie gasped.

“What do you want?” Jimin asked, taking a long, slow stroke down Kookie’s entire length.

“Fuck me,”

“That didn’t work so well last time,” Jimin moved his head to Kookie’s other shoulder. He kept massaging Kookie’s cock.

“I’ll do it this time,” Kookie & Jimin were facing away from Hobi & Tae. They could hear Hobi groaning behind them.

“Do you trust us?” Jimin’s lips tickled Kookie’s ear.

“Yes,”

“Then take off your pants & get on the floor,”

Kookie got on his hands & knees & Jimin eased into him. He rested his hands on Kookie’s back & slid in & out of him. He made slow, deliberate strokes. Kookie moaned under him. Jimin went deeper.

“Oh god,”

“Glad you like,” Jimin traced circles down Kookie’s spine.

“Harder,” Kookie groaned.

“Is that what you really want?”

“Yes,” he breathed.

“Okay,” Jimin sped up. He could still hear Hobi behind them. It sounded like he was close. Jimin knew every sound Hobi made. He went harder into Kookie. Kookie started to push back against Jimin’s dick.

“Get ready,” Jimin put his hands on Kookie’s shoulders.

“Please,” Kookie moaned. Jimin started pounding into him then moved one of his hands around his neck. He lightly tapped his fingers on Kookie’s throat. Kookie bucked, screamed, & thrashed as he came. Jimin held his hand in place while Kookie came. Kookie shook his head so his neck rubbed against Jimin’s hand. He fell forward onto his elbows when he finished. Jimin pulled out & looked down at him. Kookie rolled over & looked up at him.

“I told you,”

“Well done,” Jimin smiled.

**3:09pm**

Hobi collapsed on the couch & Kookie crawled up next to him. Jimin & Tae were still on the floor.

“Well?” Hobi looked at them. Jimin looked at Tae.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Tae impulsively leaned over & kissed Jimin. He crawled in between Jimin’s legs & kept kissing him.

“Can I try some things on you?” he breathed.

“What I taught you?”

“Maybe,”

“Go for it,” Jimin replied. Tae lied down on his back & put his arms over his head. Jimin lied down on top of him & held his arms down.

“What can I do for you?” Tae asked.  
“Show me your neck,” Jimin said. Tae tilted his head back. Jimin put his face in the crook of Tae’s neck & blew out a breath. Goosebumps rose on Tae’s arms. Jimin pulled his head up & kissed Tae aggressively.

“Roll over,” he let go of Tae’s arms. Tae rolled over & put his ass in the air. Jimin changed the condom & got up on his knees.

“You ready?” Tae nodded. Jimin ran his hand across Tae’s ass & then smacked him. Kookie & Hobi jumped. He repeated it on the other side. Jimin thrust into him & Tae grunted.  
“Breathe,” Jimin told him. Tae breathed out & Jimin felt him relax.

“Good,” Jimin went hard & deep. Tae groaned.

“Keep breathing,” Jimin said. Tae nodded & exhaled again. Jimin tickled Tae’s sides. He started panting & writhing.

“Now what?” Jimin asked.

“More,” Tae breathed.

“More what?” Tae pushed himself back on Jimin’s cock as far as it would go.

“Do you want me to finish you?”

Tae nodded.

“Okay,” Jimin reached down & grabbed Tae’s dick. He alternated massaging & thrusting. Tae moaned & clawed at the floor. Jimin leaned down next to Tae’s ear.

“Come for me, baby,”

Tae did as he was told. He threw his head back & thrust back onto Jimin’s dick. After the second thrust, Jimin came. Tae fell forward & Jimin fell backward when they finished.

“Did I do it right?” Tae asked.

“Well done,” Jimin pushed his hair off his face.

“Thanks,” Tae kissed him.

Hobi got off the couch & went over to Jimin.

“Time to get you cleaned up,” he kissed him as he helped him up.

“Can I at least put my clothes back on?”

“Sure. I can’t have anyone else staring at that hot body of yours,”

They got dressed & left. Kookie & Tae were still staring at each other.

“Baby, I’m…” Tae started.

“That was so fucking hot,” Kookie got on the floor & kissed him. Tae was shocked.

“What?”

“I never thought I’d say that about seeing you fucking someone else, but fuck baby,” Kookie kissed him again. Tae kissed him back.

“That didn’t bother you?”

“If you ever do it again, I’m watching,”

“Okay sure,”

“Let’s get cleaned up. I’m sure we’re supposed to be somewhere,” Kookie put his hand on the side of Tae’s face. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too,” Tae replied.


	9. Early December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background music (if you’re so inclined):  
> “The Truth Untold” BTS  
> “Out of My League” Fitz & the Tantrums  
> “Outside” Calvin Harris feat. Ellie Goulding  
> “PDA” Backstreet Boys
> 
> Happy final day of 2018! Have a safe, awesome, & festive New Year's Eve!

**December 1, 2018**  
**8:50pm**  
**Orlando, Florida**

Jac leaned against the wall obscured by shadows. She knew he’d see her. The dress, the earrings, they’d both catch the light. He knew the way she stood. Now she waited. She didn’t have to wait long.  
They came thundering off stage for the costume changes for the solos. Yoongi’s was second to last. It was enough time. He skidded to a stop when he saw her & Hobi almost crashed right into him.

“Careful!” he said.

“Sorry,” Yoongi moved out of the way. She turned & looked back at him over her shoulder. She’d scoped out several spots before the show. She knew which one she wanted. He looked to see if anyone was watching, then followed her. She hurried down a short staircase & pulled him into an unlocked supply closet.

“Are we really going to do this?” he looked nervously over his shoulder.

“Did you change your mind?”

“What if we get caught?”

“We won’t. Don’t think I don’t see that bulge in those exceedingly tight pants,” she whispered in his ear. “We have 20 minutes.”

“Okay. Help me out of these,”

“With pleasure,”

There were all kinds of secret zippers & snaps to undo. His hands pawed at her thighs as she pulled down his pants.

“Are you seriously not wearing underwear?” he said as his hand went between her legs.

“It would’ve just slowed us down,” she kissed him while unbuttoning his shirt. He unzipped her dress & pulled it down around her waist.

“You think of everything,” he leaned down & kissed her collarbone.

“One of us has to,”

He pushed her against the wall, hiked up one of her legs, & slid inside her. She braced her arms on his shoulders & wrapped her hands in his hair.

“Fuck me like you’ve wanted to since you met me,”

“Well when you put it that way,” he thrust up hard into her.

“Good boy,” she grunted.

“Thought you wanted a bad boy?”

“Prove it,”

He thrust up again & she bit back a moan. They may have been well hidden, but that didn’t mean she wanted to draw any attention to them. She tried not to leave any marks as she finished. The last thing they needed was any hints that he’d been engaging in recreational activity in between sets. He braced himself against the wall & slammed into her one more time before finishing himself. She looked at her watch. He had 7 minutes to get upstairs & get changed before his song was up.

“At least I know I won’t have to hide anything in tight pants for the rest of the show,” he said as he dressed as quickly as he could.

“Just wait until we get back,” she kissed him as she pulled her dress back up.

“You’re horrible,” he smiled.

“You know you love it,” she kissed his neck.

“I have to be changed & ready in 5 minutes. Stop it,” he wasn’t trying very hard to get her hands off of him.

“Sorry. I just can’t stop myself,” she pinched his ass. Yoongi didn’t want to let go of her.

“You can have your way with me tonight if you let go,” he told her.

“Fine,” she kissed him one more time & let go.

**9:07pm**

Yoongi came running up the stairs toward the dressing room. Jac followed behind him at a much more leisurely pace. Hobi gave her a knowing look.

“And you thought you were the only one who could have sex in public,” she smiled.

“Well done,” he said.

“Would I do it any other way?”

“Of course not,” he laughed. Yoongi came flying back in his solo costume.

“Merde,” she told him.

“Merci,” he huffed. Hobi put his arm around Jac’s shoulders.

“I love you,” he said.

“Love you too, Hobes,”

**December 4, 2018**  
**9:30am**  
**Miami, Florida**

“Happy birthday, Jinster!” Jac tossed a bottle of champagne at Jin as he came out of the bedroom. He barely caught it. “I wouldn’t open that immediately.”

“Do you ever just hand things to people?” Namjoon asked.

“Nope,” she grinned. She was sitting on the couch with her legs across Yoongi’s lap. Tae was pouring mimosas for everyone. Hobi & Jimin were sprawled out on the other couch. Kookie had settled on the floor with his back leaning on the couch that Jac & Yoongi were sitting on.

“Dare I ask what you have planned for today?” Jin asked, picking a piece of bacon off a plate.

“Yet another day of constant intoxication, various states of undress, & plenty of steak for our cow product loving birthday boy,”

Tae handed out the champagne flutes.

“Cheers, bitches!” she yelled.

“And Yoongi!” they replied as they clinked glasses.

“We’re going to have to watch Hobi & Jimin make out all day again, aren’t we?” Yoongi asked.

“Well I’m not going to make out with you,” Hobi said.

“Appreciate it,” Yoongi said, taking a sip of his drink & rubbing Jac’s back. They laughed.

“Everyone eat enough to soak up booze for a solid few hours. We are going to enjoy the private heated rooftop pool to start our day. Hope you brought your bikinis,”

“Did you?” Kookie asked.

“I live in California. I have a very impressive collection of bikinis. You can borrow one if you want,” she patted him.

“Yoongi already stole my underwear. I don’t want someone’s used bathing suit,” he said.

“You’re just mad because it was new,” Yoongi said.

“Yes! That’s exactly why I’m mad!”

“Somebody get this boy drunk stat,” Jac said.

“On it,” Tae sat in Kookie’s lap & topped off his glass.

**10:15am**

“Why are we going swimming in the morning?” Hobi asked.

“Because if we go any later, we’ll be too drunk & might drown,” Jac replied.

“I’m not sure how I feel about this,” Kookie eyed the edge of the roof suspiciously.

“Once you’ve had enough to drink you won’t care,” she said. “In you get.”

The pool was waist deep (on most people) with multi colored lights reflecting into the water. Even though it was 70 degrees outside, the water was still heated. Jac had decided to take full advantage of the fact they weren’t in sub zero temperatures. They all got in & Jac passed out the iconic Red Solo Cups.

“What’s this?” Jin asked, looking in the cup.

“We’re in South Florida so it’s all rum all the time,” Jac smiled.

“What’s it taste like?” Tae asked.

“You could drink it & find out,” she rolled her eyes. Tae took a sip & miraculously didn’t spit it out.

“Kinda tastes like sugar,”

“But not Suga,” Hobi said. Yoongi shook his head.

“Only I know what that tastes like,” Jac winked.

“Oh god, you’re disgusting,” Namjoon said.

“Consider it revenge for all the sex noises I’ve been subjected to over the past 2 months,” she waded over to Jin. “That includes you.”

She gave him a big, sloppy kiss on the cheek. That was quintessential Jac. She had one hand on the opposite cheek to keep him from getting away & a drink in her other hand.  
Yoongi snapped the picture.

_Now I’ll always have you._

**12:22pm**

They’d just finished passing around the second bottle of champagne when the limo stopped in front of the steakhouse.

“Let me guess, they’re normally not open for lunch,” Namjoon said.

“You would be correct,” Jac smiled as Yoongi helped her out of the limo.

“I want to be you in my next life,” Hobi said. He had his hand firmly on Jimin’s ass. If there was anywhere they could get away with groping each other, it was Miami.

“A straight chick who constantly has to get everything tailored because it’s too long?”

“How about just the rich & influential part?”

“Can’t help you there,” she said.

“Why do we keep you around again?” he asked.

“Because I’m adorable & you love me,” she smiled as they walked in.

“Look what the cat dragged in!” An older man came striding over & hugged Jac.

“And she brought kittens!”

They all looked confused.

“This is my dad’s cousin, Bobby,” she said in Korean.

“Bobby, these are Kookie, Tae, Jimin, Hobi, Yoongi, Namjoon, & our birthday boy Jin,” she said in English. “Collectively BTS.”

“Glad to help celebrate,” he said, waving them in. “I pulled all of our best options.”

“Hopefully for the steak, too,” Jac laughed. They sat at a long table where they could see the kitchen. Several bottles of wine were brought out & baskets of bread. Tae & Kookie immediately went for them.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t want that finger,” Hobi stuck out his tongue.

“You’d think we never fed them,” Namjoon said.

“Or they never learned any table manners,” Jin added.

“Clearly we’ve all sobered up too much,” Jac started pouring the wine & passing it around.

Jin took forever deciding which steak he wanted. Jac ordered practically every side dish on the menu. They were back to being giggly drunk. Jimin had his nose in Hobi’s ear & was kissing his cheek. Kookie kept trying to throw shrimp in Tae’s mouth & missing. Yoongi had one arm around the back of Jac’s chair & the other hand on her thigh. Jin & Namjoon were smiling as they watched their “kids” misbehave. Jac thanked Bobby for his hospitality & apologized for getting food on the floor. He simply laughed & hugged her as they left.

“What’s next?” Jin asked.

“Cake back at the hotel, then whatever booty y’all want to get until tonight,” Jac replied.

“Mmmm, birthday booty,” Hobi said as he put his hand between Jimin’s legs. Jac leaned over & swatted him.

“I said at the hotel, horndog,”

“You’re no fun,”

“The last thing I want to see is your pasty white ass,” she replied.

“I like your pasty white ass,” Jimin kissed him.

“Good lord,” she groaned. They laughed.

**8:35pm**

They got out in front of one of the many neon lit buildings in South Beach. Jac’s dress, more sequins of course, reflected the lights.

“Where are we?” Kookie asked.

“Is this another strip show?” Yoongi asked.

“Nope,” she smiled. She led them in & they were split into 2 tables of 4. Jac & Yoongi & Kookie & Tae were at one & the others were at the one next to them. Jac ordered more fruity, cloyingly sweet drinks. The lights dimmed & a very tall, broad shouldered woman stepped out on stage. She was dressed like an Old Hollywood starlet even though she was well over 6 feet tall. The boys looked slightly confused because they’d never seen a woman that large before. Jac smiled to herself.

“Good evening ladies & gentlemen, my name is Lady Ornacia Foxxx & welcome to the Foxxx Hunt Club,”

Everyone cheered & clapped.

“That’s a really big woman,” Jimin commented.

“Honey, that’s a man,” Jac said, leaning over toward him.

“What?” Jimin said.

“And they say we dress like girls,” Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“This is a drag club. Men dress like women & perform. It’s quite good,” she said, taking a sip of her neon pink cocktail. Tae took a sip of his blue drink & wrinkled his nose.

“What is this?”

“A Blue Hawaiian. Should be right up your alley,” Jac replied.

“Why is it so sweet?”

“Because you are,” she leaned over & pinched his cheek. He rolled his eyes at her.

They watched the first 2 acts - a Britney cover & a Gloria Estefan cover (it was Miami after all).

“How do you not see any...you know?” Kookie gestured to his crotch.

“They tape it between their legs,”

“All of it?!”

“Yup,”

“Doesn’t that hurt?” Hobi asked.

“Dunno. All mine is inside,” she shrugged.

The finale was all of them coming into the audience singing “We Are Family” by The Pointer Sisters. They pulled them up to start dancing.

_We are family_. Jac thought. _God help us._

**11:48pm**

Namjoon pushed Jin against the door as it closed. He started furiously unbuttoning Jin’s shirt as he kissed him. Jin unzipped Namjoon’s pants & pulled out his dick. Namjoon almost bit Jin’s lip when he hit the right spot on his cock. Jin let go & threw his shirt to the side. Namjoon pulled off his own shirt, kicked off his pants, & tossed Jin on the bed.

“God I love it when you’re a horny drunk,” Jin laughed as he slightly bounced.

“It’s your birthday. Your husband needs to give you some of that birthday booty that was previously mentioned,” Namjoon lied on top of Jin, kissing his collarbone.

“Anything you had in mind?” Jin asked.

“It’s your birthday,” though Namjoon’s smile said otherwise.

“What is it?”

“I may have borrowed something from the kids without their knowledge,” he grinned.

“You didn’t,” Jin said. Namjoon leaned over & pulled a pair of handcuffs out of the bedside table.

“If you’re interested…”

Jin thought for a second, then smiled.

“I’m very interested,”

“Perfect,” Namjoon put his face in Jin’s neck & ran a hand up his side.

“You better make stealing those worth it,” Jin pushed his hips up into Namjoon’s crotch.

“Have I ever disappointed you, my love?”

“No,”

“Then I don’t intend to start on your birthday,” Namjoon reached up & cuffed Jin’s wrists. Jin sat up slightly, hooked his arms behind Namjoon’s head & pulled him down to kiss him. Namjoon wrapped his arms around Jin’s back as he kissed him.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he breathed.

“Thank you,” Jin replied, pulling Namjoon closer. Namjoon could feel the cuffs digging into the back of his neck. It only made him kiss Jin harder.

“On your stomach, birthday boy,” he hissed in his ear. Jin slowly pulled his arms over Namjoon’s head & rolled over.

“Don’t tease my like that,” Namjoon kissed down Jin’s chest as he arched himself up.

“Don’t give me the chance to,” he smiled. He rested his chest on the bed & left his ass in the air. Namjoon got up on his knees behind Jin. He smacked his ass.

“Another thing I learned from the kids,” he smiled.

“Just one? Don’t you have 25 more to go?” Jin replied.

“Oh really?”

“I thought that was the point of a birthday spanking?”

“You’ve been spending way too much time with the kids,” Namjoon leaned over on Jin’s back & kissed his neck.

“I’m the responsible parent,” Jin replied.

“Fine, but if anyone asks, I was just doing what I was told,”

“You’re a good husband,”

“Of course I am,” and he gave Jin another smack. Namjoon’s hand started to get tired around slap 13 or so. He refused to give up. Jin was still gleefully counting. If Namjoon didn’t know any better he’d say Jin was genuinely enjoying being spanked. He finally made it to 26.

“One more,” Jin said.

“What?”

“For luck,” he smiled. Namjoon shook out his hand & hit him one more time.  
“Thank you, honey. Ready to fuck me yet?” Namjoon has been so focused on the feeling in his hand, that he hadn’t noticed how hard he was. It had been a long time since they’d done anything even remotely kinky.

“Always,” he thrust into Jin & Jin pushed back against him. He used the handcuffs as leverage to push himself backwards onto Namjoon’s cock. Namjoon grabbed Jin’s waist & pounded him. Jin moaned & writhed under him. This was a far cry from the Jin who scolded the kids for being too loud. This Jin made the kids look like amateurs. Namjoon slowly wrapped his arms around Jin’s waist.

“Happy birthday, my love,” and he thrust into him. Jin came, bucking, squirming, & screaming underneath Namjoon. After he finished in a panting mess, he heard -

“Do it,”

“Yes dear,” With a few well timed thrusts, Namjoon came hard. He couldn’t stop himself from thrusting into Jin some more while he came. All he could do was roll his head back & enjoy it. When he finished, Jin lowered them down. Namjoon was still catching his breath when he looked over & saw Jin with the handcuffs off.

“How’d you do that?”

“I saw where you put the keys,” he smiled. “I always know where you put the keys.”

“I love you, Jin. Happy birthday,” Namjoon kissed him.

“Thank you, Joon. I love you too,”

**December 7, 2018**  
**Montreal, Quebec, Canada**  
**9:30pm**

Kookie pushed his sweaty hair off his face & looked over at Hobi as they ran around to change positions during “DNA”. Hobi smiled back at him. Kookie knew that smile.

_Get ready, Baby Dom._

As if these damn pants weren’t tight enough.

Jimin saw what was going on & gave them a small nod. Tae hadn’t noticed anything yet. Typical Tae. Kookie was already slightly out of breath, but this made it worse. The thought of something around his neck, Hobi behind him, he had to keep himself from gasping. Hobi “accidentally” brushed the back of his hand across Kookie’s ass.

The show couldn’t end soon enough.

**11:30pm**

“I have to go for a little while,” Kookie told Tae when they got back to the hotel.

“Oh, okay,” he said.

“Did you want to do something?”

“I dunno. I thought maybe we could get Jac to sneak us out for food,” he said.

“Can you wait? We can sneak out once I’m... done,” Kookie said.

“Sure. I’ll go see if Jimin wants to go, too,” he said. Kookie couldn’t help but feel guilty. He knew he’d hurt Tae’s feelings. But he needed this. They both needed this. He resolved to make it up to Tae.

“Whatever you want later, baby. I promise,” he kissed Tae.

“You really promise?”

“Absolutely,”

“Off you go then,” Tae kissed him again.

Hobi was already waiting for him.

“Took you long enough,” he said.

“I had to make dinner plans,” Kookie replied.

“Is that code for something?”

“Nope,”

Hobi grabbed a handful of Kookie’s shirt & threw him on the bed. He pinned one of his legs under his knee. He put his face in Kookie’s.

“Ready to play, Baby Dom?”

“Always,” Kookie licked under Hobi’s chin. “What is it this time?”

“I believe this was your favorite?” Hobi pulled the belt they’d used the first time off of his pants.

“Nothing like your first time,” Kookie grinned & grabbed the back of Hobi’s neck. He kissed him viciously. He unpinned Kookie’s leg & straddled him. Kookie reached up & yanked off Hobi’s tee shirt.

Hobi unzipped Kookie’s jeans. Kookie grabbed Hobi & flipped them over. He pulled off his shirt & clawed at Hobi’s biceps. Hobi leaned up & bit Kookie’s shoulder. Kookie groaned.

“That all you got?”

“I can make you bleed, Baby Dom, but I think those pretty shoulders have to remain mostly intact,” Hobi breathed onto Kookie’s neck. He lightly bit his neck. He felt Kookie shiver. “Unfortunately this has to remain intact, too.”

“Sooner or later,” Kookie said.

“Patience, Baby Dom. You’ll have plenty of fun,” Hobi grabbed the belt & looped it around Kookie’s neck. “Up.”

Kookie stood up & Hobi walked behind him.

“What to do, what to do. Should I blow you? Should I fuck you? Should I have you blow me?” he snapped the belt at the end of each question. Kookie’s chest was heaving & he was so hard that it hurt.

“I think I’ll have you blow me. I like that idea,” Hobi smiled.

“I can work with that,” Kookie looked over his shoulder at Hobi. Hobi sat on the edge of the bed.

“Off you go, then,”

Kookie sat on the floor & took a long, slow lick up the underside. Hobi grunted. He put one hand in Kookie’s hair.

“Good, Baby Dom. Very good,”

Kookie took all of Hobi in his mouth & traced circles up the shaft. He carefully watched Hobi. He’d leaned his head back & wrapped his hand even tighter in Kookie’s hair. He held the belt in the other hand. When he got to the tip, Kookie put his hands on Hobi’s knees & forced them further apart. Hobi jerked the belt. He played with the tip a bit before putting his entire head between Hobi’s legs. He wrapped his arms around Hobi’s hips & had his entire length in his mouth. It was almost touching the back of his throat. Hobi ground his hips into Kookie’s face. Hobi’s legs started to shake. He was making noises that turned Kookie on even more (if that was even possible). He didn’t back off. He curled his lips over his teeth & very lightly bit down. Hobi came straight down Kookie’s throat. He pulled on the belt as he came. After the third or fourth yank, Kookie came. He remembered Jac saying it was possible to get off just from the choking. And he’d just done it. When they both finished, Kookie looked up at Hobi.

“Was it as good for you as it was for me?”

“Better,”

He took the belt off from around Kookie’s neck.

“Thanks for getting my legs wet, Baby Dom,”

“You have no one to blame but yourself,” Kookie stood up & kissed him.

“Bitch,”

“Fucker,”

**11:40pm**

Tae knocked on Hobi & Jimin’s door.

“Needed someone to talk to?” Jimin asked when he opened the door.

“Yeah,”

“We were about to try the $200 French red,” he said.

“We?”

Jac waved from the couch.

“Care for a glass?”

“Sure,” he sighed.

“What’s on your mind, my beloved Taehyung?” she asked as she poured the wine.

“Kookie,”

“Why did I even ask?” she looked at Jimin. He shrugged.

“Sit,” she patted the spot next to her. Tae sat down & curled in on himself. Jac put her arm around him. “Whatever it is, it won’t leave this room.”

“What if I broke up with him?”

Cue record screeching.

“What?!”

“Like tonight, I wanted to see if you could take us out for food & he’s...with Hobi. First it was you,” he looked at Jimin. “And now Hobi. I feel like I’m the second choice.”

“Tae, you were, and are, his first choice. Every decision he makes, he makes with you in mind. I’m not going to tell you what to do because you deserve to be happy, too. I’m just not sure breaking up with him will solve your problems. I think you need to talk about it with him,” Jac said.

“Agreed,” Jimin said.

“Then why does it hurt so much?”

“Because you love him & it’s going to hurt. I guarantee it hurts him, too. I know it hurts Hobi. He’s disappointed me before because of it. He makes it up to me. He reminds me how much he loves me. I know how much he loves me. Again, it’s up to you. If you want to end it then that’s what you should do. My suggestion is to think long & hard about it before you do anything. The 8 days I spent away from Hobi were some of the worst of my life. It showed me that I really did want him in my life. I was angry & hurt, but I missed him. I missed him so much. I don’t want to watch you & Kookie go through that if you don’t have to,” Jimin told him.

“What would you do?” Tae looked at Jac.

“I’d stick with him. He loves me. He does his best. He’s always honest with me. That’s a lot more than a lot of people have. You’re lucky to have him. He’s lucky to have you. I think you’d be miserable without each other,” she said, squeezing his shoulders.

Tae thought about what they said.

“I’ll take you out for pizza when he gets back even though it’s like 5 degrees outside,” she told him.

“I don’t want pizza,” he hugged her.

“What do you want?”

“Burgers,”

“I’ll see what I can find,” she ruffled his hair & pulled out her phone.

**December 8, 2018**  
**Midnight**  
**Montreal, Canada**

Jac went back into their room. Yoongi was already asleep. Jac shook his shoulder.

“What?” he grumbled.

“I’m taking the kids out for burgers. You want to come?”

“It’s the middle of the night & freezing. I’ll pass,” he rolled over.

“Okay. I’ll bring you back something,” she kissed the side of his head.

“Mmph,”

“I dunno how long we’ll be gone,” she said.

“Can’t you just come to bed?” he asked.

“I promised,” she sat on the edge of the bed. He rolled back over to face her.

“They can go by themselves,”

“Honey, they don’t speak English or French,” Jac pointed out. She paused. “We only have 3 weeks left.”

He didn’t dare look at the countdown on his phone for the exact time.

“Let me get dressed,”

Jac smiled.

“We’ll meet you in the hall,”

**1:55am**

“I didn’t think I could feel like I was freezing to death walking 5 blocks,” Jac took off her coat & put her hands next to the heater.

“It’s Canada in December,” Yoongi said flatly.

“Who pissed in your corn flakes?” she asked.

“Nothing. I’m going back to bed,” he replied.

“It’s not nothing,” she said. Yoongi crossed his arms & heaved a sigh.

“Why couldn’t you have just come to bed? You didn’t have to take them out,”

“I promised that I would take them out. I’m not going to be the person who breaks her promises,” she insisted.

“You said it yourself. We only have 3 weeks left,”

“Which is why I came to get you. I didn’t want you to feel like I just left without inviting you,” she told him. “As much as we both would love to, we can’t hide in bed for the next 3 weeks. We have to live.

Do you want to have your last memories to be going to shows, coming back, & getting straight in bed?”

_Yes._

“No,”

“Then there’s not much point in getting pissed off about going out for burgers in the middle of the night,” she hugged him over his crossed arms. “You might be able to fool your brothers & the world, but you can’t fool me.”

He was completely helpless when she hugged him. If he was being brutally honest, he was helpless when she touched him. He uncrossed his arms & hugged her back.

“I’m tired,” he said.

“Then we’ll go to bed,”

“I’m tired from all this work,” he replied. “But I don’t want to go home.”

“I know,”

He put his nose in her hair & took a deep breath. He smelled gardenias & cold air.

“We have to be on a plane in 4 & a half hours. Time to get in bed,” she told him.

“We can sleep on the plane,”

“We need to sleep now or you’ll be extra cranky,” Jac gave him a squeeze.

“Fine,” he kissed her.

“You do listen,”

“Sometimes,”

They got in bed & Yoongi held onto her. And didn’t let go all night.

**2:09am**

Kookie just stood there holding Tae. There was nothing he could say or do that would make it better. He felt like he was being stabbed every time Tae sobbed. And then the knife got twisted for good measure. Tae had gotten halfway through telling him how he felt about what happened earlier that night before he started crying. It didn’t help that they were also worn out from traveling, performing, & being in a foreign country for 2 & a half months. They left the US in 22 days. Kookie was ready to be home. He was ready to sleep in his own bed. He was ready to spend a quiet night in with his boyfriend. He was ready to celebrate Tae’s birthday just the 2 of them. He was also ready to stop feeling like a colossal asshole on a regular basis. So he stood there & held him to his chest while he cried. Everything he thought about saying sounded hollow & pathetic. He nuzzled the side of Tae’s head. He settled on the only thing he knew was true. That he’d always known was true.

“I love you, baby,”

“I love you too,” Tae hiccuped. Kookie held him tighter. He could never lose him. He refused to. He slowly started rocking side to side. Partially because his knees were getting stiff & partially because he found it comforting.

“Can we go to sleep?” Tae asked.

“Sure,”

“I got your shirt all wet,”

“You’ve done worse. Shirts can be washed,” he kissed him. Tae sniffed.

“I want to go home,”

“Me too,”

They crawled into bed & faced each other. Tae had stopped crying, but his face was still red & puffy.

“I’m so sorry about tonight. I should’ve told Hobi no. We should’ve just had Jac take us out. I’m a jackass,” Kookie said. “I should’ve listened to you.”

“You did what you had to do,” Tae replied.

“If it hurts you, then it was wrong. I know I won’t hurt you. You always come first,” Kookie kissed him. “I hope you can forgive me.”

“I will,” Tae said. They lied there in silence for a few minutes. “Do you have another round in you?”

“I always have a round in me for you. I always have something for you,”

“Turn over,” Tae whispered.

“I love it when you talk dirty to me,” Kookie smiled. Tae gave Kookie’s ass a squeeze. Kookie rolled over. He rested his chest on the bed & kept his ass in the air. Tae slid into him & Kookie relaxed. He may have told one more lie. Jimin wasn’t perfect. Tae was.

“Make love to me, Taehyung,” Kookie said.

“Of course, Jungkook,” Tae lightly ran his fingers down Kookie’s thighs. He moved slowly & Kookie moved with him. There was no fighting, bucking, or clawing. They breathed together. Tae put his hands on Kookie’s chest & held onto him. He felt Kookie start to shudder & pant.

“I love you, baby,”

“I love you more,” Kookie managed to get out. Then Tae finished him. Kookie didn’t make noise like he usually did. He gasped & pushed his ass back onto Tae’s cock. Tae managed to hold onto him as he came. When they fell on the bed, Tae went to get off & Kookie grabbed his arms.

“Not yet,”

“Okay,”

Tae kissed the back of Kookie’s head & rested his cheek there.

“I’m sorry for every time I’ve hurt you. You’re perfect,” Kookie said.

“You don’t mean to,”

“It still hurts,”

“True,”

Kookie held onto Tae’s arms.

“Please don’t leave me,”

“I won’t,” Tae cuddled into Kookie’s back. Even though I thought about it.

Kookie let go of Tae’s arms & they both rolled over. Tae fell asleep almost immediately, but Kookie stayed awake for hours wondering what he could do to make it better.

**December 10, 2018**  
**9pm**  
**Boston, Massachusetts**

Jac had opted to start watching from the wings again. She enjoyed trying to dodge them as they ran on & off. Plus, it was getting toward the end of the tour & those would be better memories than sitting in the green room. The rap line had gone down to under the bump out stage for their song. The vocal line had taken their places for their song. It was one of Jac’s favorite songs. It was depressing as all hell, but it sounded pretty. She watched as Kookie sang his part:

_You know that I can’t_  
_Show you me_  
_Give you me_  
_I can’t show you a ruined part of myself_  
_Once again I put a mask on and go to see you_  
_But I still want you_

He started to tear up. Jac looked more closely & saw Kookie looking at Tae out of the corner of his eye. She saw Jin & Jimin’s body language change, too.

_Keep it together. You can do this._

Kookie started to lose it when Tae sang his part:

_I am afraid_  
_I am shattered_  
_I’m so afraid_  
_That you will leave me again in the end_  
_Once again I put on a mask and go to see you_

Tears were streaming down Kookie’s face. His voice shook as he sang the next part. Jin & Jimin jumped in & bailed him out. Kookie had to stop completely. He turned off his mic & pinched the bridge of his nose. They somehow made it through the song & the lights went out. They jogged offstage & Jac went over to Kookie. He grabbed her & started sobbing into her hair.

“Hey, it’ll be okay,” she patted his back.

“No it won’t,”

“You can tell me all about it when the show is over, okay? You can make it through another hour,” she told him. Tae was also looking like he was 10 seconds away from falling apart. Jin was comforting him.

“One more hour,” she said. He nodded. “You have 4 minutes to clean yourself up. You can do this.”

Kookie nodded again. He took a deep breath. This would be all over the internet before the show was even over. The world could never know why.

**11pm**

This time Jac was the one to meet Kookie in one of the unoccupied rooms. He was sitting on the bed staring down at his hands.

“What’s the matter?” she asked as she sat next to him.

“When we were in Canada, I chose to spend some time with Hobi instead of go with Tae to get dinner with you,” he said.

“I know. What’s the catch?” she asked.

“I came just by Hobi choking me. He hadn’t done anything else to me,”

“Okay,”

“That’s not normal,” he said.

“I dunno. I’ve heard of people coming without even touching themselves,” she shrugged.

“Seriously?”

“They do yoga or something, but it's possible. Your biggest sex organ is your brain,”

Kookie looked back down at his hands.

“What’s the real issue here, Kookie?”

“I’m a horrible boyfriend. I’m constantly begging Tae to stay with me. I hurt him so much. He saw that part of me once & I never want him to see that part of me again. What do I do?”  
“If he wants to do something, give him priority. Trust me, Hobi will wait around for sex. You’re young. Your rebound time is basically nonexistent. You could have sex with Tae & less than 2 hours later be going at it with Hobi. Make Tae feel like he’s your top priority. You might know that, but he needs to know it. Now you know that you won’t hurt him. There’s no reason to bail on him anymore,” she said.

“Then can you help me with something?”

“Sure,”

**11:45pm**

“Well thanks for helping me look. I can’t believe it was in the bottom of my purse the entire time,” Kookie heard Jac’s voice outside the door.

“No problem,” he heard Tae reply. Kookie lit the candles when he heard the door open. Tae flipped on the lights.

Kookie had taken the top sheet off of the bed & put it on the table as a tablecloth. Jac had helped him find a couple candles & order from the expensive restaurant in the hotel. He’d put on some of his nicer clothes.

“Surprise,” Kookie said.

“What’s the occasion? My birthday isn’t for another 3 weeks,” he asked. Kookie walked over & put his arms around Tae’s waist.

“I wanted to do something nice for you. To show you that you’re special,” he replied. “I got your favorite.”

“Panda Express?” Tae asked. Kookie laughed.

“Your other favorite,”

“Salmon?”

“With that weird sauce,”

“It’s not weird. It tastes good,” Tae said. “Should I change?”

“It’s up to you,” Kookie told him.

“The clothes will just be coming off later,” Tae kissed him.

“Is that so?”

“Or did you get me a fancy dinner out of the kindness of your heart?”

“Can it be both?” Kookie ran his hands down to Tae’s ass.

“It can be whatever you want,” Tae moved his arms up to Kookie’s shoulders. “Let’s enjoy dinner, then worry about dessert.”

“Sounds good. Jac picked the wine, so if nothing else it’s expensive,” Kookie pulled out the chair for Tae.

They ate, drank, & laughed. Kookie finally felt like he’d done something right. When Tae smiled, Kookie got butterflies in his stomach.

“What?” Tae asked.

“What what?”

“You’re staring. Do I have something in my teeth?”

“No. I just forget how hot you are sometimes,” Kookie smiled. Tae blushed a little.

“Now what are we going to use for sheets since you used that one as a tablecloth?” Tae asked.

“We still have the blanket. I won’t let you freeze, my love,” Kookie kissed him as they got up from the table. “I can always steal one from another room.”

“Sounds good,” Tae grinned.

“Now what to do for dessert,” Kookie said, hugging him.

“So many choices…”

“There’s another big bathtub here,” Kookie suggested.

“Mmmm, that sounds romantic,” Tae smiled.

“I’ve been known to be romantic sometimes,”

“Though if we’re going to do anything else, maybe we should save the bath for after,”

“What did you have in mind?” Kookie smiled at him.

“Maybe live a little dangerously,” Tae kissed Kookie’s neck. Kookie shivered. “I’m not afraid of you, Kookie. You know that.”

“What if I hurt you?”

Tae put his hands down the back of Kookie’s pants & squeezed his ass.

“You won’t,” Tae breathed into his neck as he pulled his hands back & untucked Kookie’s shirt. He felt Kookie’s heart start to race. “Come on, baby. You know you want to.”

Kookie had no idea what to do. He hadn’t seen this Tae in months. The one who seduced him. The one who gave him the chills. The one who made him so hard that he was convinced his pants would rip. Tae kissed him deeply while he unbuttoned Kookie’s shirt. Kookie thrust his hips into Tae’s.

“So you want it?” Tae smiled.

“I want you,” Kookie replied, putting his hand down Tae’s pants.

“Then take me,” Tae pushed his crotch into Kookie’s hand.

“I fucking love you, baby,”

“Or you just fuck me,” Tae kissed under Kookie’s jaw.

“Who are you & what have you done with my boyfriend?”

Tae simply giggled. He pushed Kookie’s shirt off & put his hand behind his neck.

“Do it,”

“Yes, baby,” Kookie smiled & pushed Tae on the bed. He climbed on top of him & unzipped his pants. Tae nipped at Kookie’s bottom lip as he wiggled out of his pants.

“You do want to live dangerously,” Kookie said.  
“Yup,” Tae pulled off his shirt. Kookie buried his face in Tae’s neck & inhaled. He still wasn’t able to put his finger on Tae’s scent. It was comforting, but erotic at the same time. It wasn’t sweet like Jimin’s. Kookie groaned.

“Show me that ass,” Kookie sat up.

“Of course,” Tae arched his back & rolled over. Kookie ran his hand down Tae’s back & rested his hand on his ass.

“May I?”

“You may,” Tae looked over his shoulder. Kookie smacked his ass. He didn’t hit him as hard as he would’ve hit Hobi or Jimin, but it was a solid hit.

“Now the other side. They can’t be uneven,” Tae told him. Kookie hit him again.

_This is so hot._

Tae stuck his ass in the air & left his chest & arms on the bed. Kookie slid into him. He ran his hands up Tae’s sides.

“Do I pound you?”

“Yes, you do,” he replied.

“If you say so,”

Kookie wrapped his hands around Tae’s thighs & started thrusting into him. Tae moaned & writhed under Kookie’s hands. Kookie held on to Tae’s thighs tighter to keep him deep inside him. He switched to grinding against Tae’s ass. Tae arched his back & moaned some more.

“Come on, baby,”

Kookie let go of Tae’s thighs & grabbed his hair. He pounded into him as hard as he could. Tae wrestled against him & started panting. Kookie felt him start to shake. He pulled harder on Tae’s hair & he came. He thrashed & screamed as he came. Kookie grabbed Tae’s waist to keep him in place. Tae was barely able to hold himself up when he finished. Kookie held him up as he came. Tae collapsed when Kookie let go. Kookie flopped off of him.

“God you’re amazing,” he said. Tae smiled.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, baby,”

“Did you?”

“I always enjoy it when you can’t wait to fuck me,”

Kookie laughed.

“I think I need that bath now,”

“I think I do, too,”

**December 11, 2018**  
**5:37pm**  
**Newark, New Jersey**

“Another day, another hotel room,” Jimin sighed as he & Hobi walked into their room.

“Are you ready to be home yet?” Hobi asked.

“Oh god, yes,” Jimin replied, flopping down on the bed.

“I thought you only said that when you were in bed with me,” Hobi jumped on the bed next to him.

“Now you are in bed with me,”

“We’re on bed,”

“What’s the difference?”

“We have too many clothes on & the sheets are still in place,” Hobi told him.

“Then we are indeed on bed,” Jimin agreed. Hobi looked over at him.

“Are you okay with me & Kookie?”

“I think I’m more okay with it than you were with me & Kookie,” Jimin said.

“He was too rough with you,”

“He’s pretty rough with you,”

“I’m not the one with the belt around my neck,” Hobi said. He took one of Jimin’s hands. Jimin always wore a silver chain ring on his right index finger. Hobi ran his thumb over it.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Us,”

“And?”

“Are we too young to get married?”

Jimin picked up his head. He propped himself up on his elbows.

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it since Jin & Namjoon got married. Namjoon is 7 months younger than me,” Hobi said.

“I think there’s more to consider than age,” Jimin said.

“If we did, then I’d end it with Kookie. I’d only be yours,” he said.

“Is this a way to get out of being Kookie’s Dom when you could just end it outright?”

“No. I’m trying to say if we ever did get married, then I wouldn’t be with anyone else. I guess it didn’t come out right,” he sighed.

“You never did have a way with words,”

“I try,”

“And you’ve gotten better. You’ve gotten better about a lot. I’m proud of you,” Jimin smiled.

“Really?”

“You’ve kept your promises. You’ve listened. You’ve done your best. I’m glad I gave you the chance to try. You’re a great boyfriend,”

“I think that’s the best thing I’ve heard from you since the first time you told me that you loved me,” Hobi beamed. Jimin couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Hobi smile that big.

“We’ve survived a lot. We could’ve left each other so many times. Maybe we were stupid to stay. Maybe we loved each other from the beginning. Jin & Joon had a different life than we did. We stumbled around like a pair of blind idiots. I know you didn’t mean to treat me poorly. You didn’t know any better. I didn’t know any better. You kept me alive, Hobi. There were days I wanted to give up especially when I was really sick. I thought if I could get my hands on some of Yoongi’s painkillers then I could go to sleep & not wake up. Then I thought of what it would do to you. Would you blame yourself? How badly would you hurt? I couldn’t do that to you. So I stayed. I let you take care of me even though I wanted to push you away. You gave up so much for me. I never gave up anything for you,”

“You wanted to die?” Hobi said. Jimin nodded. Hobi pulled him to his chest & hugged him. “Why?”

“I hurt too much. I was tired. I was frustrated. I thought I wasn’t good enough. The same reasons I starved myself,” he replied.

“You’re perfect. If you’re ever tired, frustrated, or hurting, I’m here. I’ll always be here,” Hobi refused to let go of him.

“I know that now. I didn’t then. I know a lot now that I didn’t know then. It’s okay, Hobi-hyung, I’m not going anywhere,” Jimin kissed him. Hobi nuzzled the side of Jimin’s head. Jimin kissed him again. He reached down & pushed himself on top of Hobi. He wrapped his hands in Hobi’s hair. Hobi rested his hands on the small of Jimin’s back.

“You can grab it if you want,” Jimin breathed. Hobi didn’t need to be told twice. He grabbed Jimin’s ass & boosted him up a few inches. Jimin giggled.

“Go ahead,” he smiled.

“Go ahead what?”

“Spank me,” Jimin licked down Hobi’s jaw.

“Seriously?”

“Call it an early Christmas present,”

“Marry me,” Hobi adjusted himself.

“I thought that was a given?” Jimin grinned. Hobi looked up at him. Jimin was still smiling.

“I repeat - seriously?”

“Yes, Jung Hoseok. I’ll marry you,”

“Get out of those pants right now,” Hobi said. Jimin laughed as he stood up & took off his pants. Hobi was pretty sure he set some kind of record getting out of his clothes. Jimin got back on the bed & assumed the position they’d used so many times over the past 3 years. Hobi slapped his ass & Jimin moaned. Hobi hit him again & Jimin swayed his back. He hit him 3 or 4 more times & Jimin reacted every time. Hobi didn’t want to hit him too much because they were both out of practice.

“Now what?”

Jimin sat back on his heels.

“You tell me,” he looked up at Hobi. Hobi simultaneously loved & hated that smile. That smile could make him fall in love with him even more. It could also convince him to jump off a bridge.

“Tell you or tell you?”

The grin only got bigger.

_You fucking tease._

“On your back,” Hobi said. Jimin slowly lied back down & put his hands above his head. He watched Hobi intently. He lied on top of him & slowly ran one hand up Jimin’s arm to his wrists. He still had the other hand on his ass.

“Why do you do this to me?” he kissed his neck.

“Because I like to watch you squirm,” Jimin tilted his head back to give Hobi easier access to his neck.

“You’re getting what you want,” he replied.

“I know,” Jimin pushed his ass into Hobi’s hand.

“I liked you better when you were a Sub who knew his place,” Hobi pushed harder on Jimin’s wrists.

“No, you didn’t,”

_Busted._

Hobi let got of Jimin’s wrists & kissed his way down to between his legs. He flicked the tip of Jimin’s cock with his tongue & Jimin jumped.

“Hello beautiful,”

“Are you talking to me or it?” Jimin asked.

“It’s part of you, so I guess both,” Hobi replied. Jimin laughed. “I have been a bad boyfriend when it comes to one thing.”

“What's that?”

“I can’t remember the last time I gave you a blow job & my prince deserves the best,” he smiled.

“You think awful highly of yourself,” Jimin replied.

“I learned from the best,” he tickled just inside Jimin’s hip bone. Jimin giggled & squirmed.

“Ready?”

“Let’s see what you learned,”

Hobi rested his forearms on Jimin’s thighs & took just the tip in his mouth. He drew a circle around the base of the head & Jimin started to squirm more. He worked his way down the shaft using his whole tongue. Once he got to the base, he held on to Jimin’s hips & started running his index fingers up & down his sides at the same rate he was licking.

“Jesus Hobi,” Jimin gasped & grabbed onto the sheets. Hobi laughed, but didn’t stop. He felt Jimin writhe & gasp under him. He stopped tickling him & rolled his tongue around Jimin’s dick. By this point, Jimin couldn’t hold still. Hobi put one hand on Jimin’s chest to hold him down. His pulse was hammering under Hobi’s hand. It was time. Hobi tickled the base with his tongue one more time, then pulled his head back. Jimin came in a fit of thrusting & screaming. He didn’t grab Hobi’s head, so Hobi held onto his hips while he came. He was proud of himself. He’d done well. If he did say so himself. Jimin finally stopped moving & lied on his back panting. Hobi lied down next to him.

“You like?”

“You did learn something over the years,” Jimin smiled as he caught his breath.

“It was bound to happen sooner or later,” Hobi brushed Jimin’s sticky hair off his face. He was still irresistibly sexy when he was sweaty. Which was a lot. Hobi kissed him.

“I’m happy you enjoyed it,”

“Anything you want from me?” Jimin pushed himself up to sitting.

“You already gave it to me,” Hobi replied.

“What?”

“You said yes,”

Jimin gave him that sleepy smile he got when he was happy.

“I did,”

“I may take you up on your offer later, though,” Hobi took Jimin under his arm. “Those hands of yours are very gifted.”

“I’ll be sure to keep them loose,” Jimin looked up at him.

“I love you, Jiminie,”

“I love you, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

**10:19pm**

“Bedtime children,” Namjoon said. They’d all gotten together in Jin & Namjoon’s room after dinner to drink more, half watch TV, & talk.

“Fine…”

As they filtered out of the room, Hobi & Jimin caught up with Jac.

“Can we borrow you?” Hobi asked.

“Uhhh, sure,” she looked back at Yoongi. “I’ll be in soon.”

“Okay,” he yawned. Jac followed them back to their room.

“What do you require?” she asked.

“We...umm…” Hobi looked at Jimin.

“Well I know neither of you are pregnant,”

“We got engaged,” Jimin said. Jac’s jaw dropped.

“I’m sorry what?”

“We got engaged,” Hobi repeated. Jac was stunned. She’d never suspected Hobi to be the marrying type or either of them, really.

“And you need me to sort everything out for you,”

“Please?” Hobi said.

“I’ll have to check the schedule & see what states we’re going to be in & find a venue…” she went to walk away & Jimin grabbed her wrist.

“No,”

“What do you mean no? You want my help, don’t you?”

“No venues or fancy clothes or expensive dinners. Just us. All of us,” Jimin said.

“So what? You want to get married in a hotel room in your sweatpants?”

They looked at each other.

“Pretty much,”

“Brings a whole new meaning to the term casual attire,” she said.

“Will you help us?” Hobi asked.

“Of course I’ll help you. On one condition,” she said.

“What's that?” Jimin asked.

“We can have at least one bottle of champagne?”

They laughed.

“You can have all the champagne you want,” Hobi replied. She smiled.

“Come here, you crazy lovebirds,” she held out her arms. They hugged her & picked her up in the process.

“Thank you, Jac,” Jimin kissed her on the cheek.

“You’re welcome. You were always my favorite anyway. Don’t tell Yoongi,” she smiled.

“Not a word,” he said.

**December 13, 2018**  
**3:08pm**  
**New York City, New York**

“Stop being so nervous. I’ll take care of it,” Jac told Jimin & Hobi as they walked into the courthouse to get their marriage license. They’d managed to sneak out without the others noticing. No one would question not being able to find Jimin & Hobi, but they might start to ask questions when they couldn’t find Jac. They hadn’t told anyone about their plans until they had the paperwork in hand. Jac had come along to translate everything for them.

“Are you sure this is legal?” Hobi asked.

“There are plenty of American citizens who don’t speak English. No one will care,” she replied.

“And you’re sure,” Jimin said.

“I’m absolutely sure. Everything is going to be fine. You will get your casual wedding as requested,”

They held hands like their lives depending on it as they got in line.

“I just want this to work,” Hobi sighed.

“I know. I’ll make sure it will. Even if I have to jump over the counter & grab the paperwork myself,” she patted his arm. Jimin rested his chin on Hobi’s shoulder.

They got to the front & Jac spoke to the clerk.

“They need your IDs,” she said. They handed her their passports.

The clerk looked at the passports, then up at them, then back at the passports.

“Is there a problem?” Jac asked.

“Are those…?”

“As far as you’re concerned, no. If you even think of saying anything to anyone ever, that’s a violation of professional ethics. Should anything come out regarding this matter, I’ll know it was you & your head will be on a platter sooner than you can say ‘BTS’. Am I clear?”

The clerk nodded emphatically & handed Jac the paperwork & the passports.

“Thank you,” Jac smiled.

She helped the boys fill out the paperwork & (“Are you related? What?”) returned it to the still intimidated clerk.

“Now one of the most important parts. Rings,” she said.

“We haven’t really thought about it,” Hobi said. Jimin twisted his chain ring around his finger.

“What about these? I have another one that’s too small for this finger,”

He’d gotten it when his eating disorder had been at its worst & his hands had thinned out.

“Try it,” he took it off & handed it to Hobi. Hobi put it on his ring finger.

“It’s a little tight, but it fits,” he said.

“We can always get it sized,” Jac told him. Hobi went to take it off & Jimin stopped him.

“Keep it. It’s your engagement ring,”

Hobi smiled.

“Thank you,” he kissed Jimin as they were leaving the courthouse. Jac felt herself get the warm fuzzies.

“So, who’s ready to get married?”

**5:28pm**

“Can y’all come down to my room for a sec?” Jac said when Tae opened the door.

“Uhhh, sure?”

Namjoon & Jin were already behind her. Kookie & Tae followed her down the hall.

She opened the door & confetti was sprinkled on the floor in the main sitting area. Hobi & Jimin were standing by the window. Hobi was in a tee shirt & sweatpants. Jimin was in ripped jeans & a button down shirt. Yoongi was sitting on the couch with a champagne flute & 7 more were on the table in front of him.

“What’s going on?” Namjoon asked.

“We’re throwing wedding #2!” Jac replied.

“Wait what?” They all did cartoon double takes among each other.

“When did this happen?” Namjoon asked.

“Two days ago. We wanted to surprise everyone,” Jimin said.

“We’re definitely surprised,” Kookie said.

“So you’re getting married right now?” Tae said. They nodded.

“And Jimin is in need of a best man,” Jac said. “Have you picked the lucky winner?”

“Tae,” Jimin replied.

“Me?”

“I have to have my fellow ‘95er, right?” he smiled.

“Uhhh, sure,” Tae stepped behind Jimin. Yoongi was, obviously, Hobi’s best man.

Jac took her place by the window after properly positioning everyone. She gave the introduction.

“You’ve prepared some vows?”

They nodded again.

“Hobi,” she nodded at him. Yoongi put a steadying hand on his best friend’s back.

“Jimin, I know I haven’t always been the best partner to you. The last 3 years have brought some of my highest highs & my lowest lows. What’s always been constant is how much I’ve loved you. I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I’m happy that I finally did. Not only can I not imagine my life without you, I wouldn’t want to live my life without you. Even if I told you every day how perfect you are, it wouldn’t be enough. Even if I told you every day how much I love you, it wouldn’t be enough. You’re my life, Jiminie & I love you more every day,”

“Hobi-hyung, you may not have been the best at communicating over the years, but you were there for me when it mattered. They say actions speak louder than words & yours certainly have. You took care of me when I was sick. You literally carried me when I couldn’t walk. You didn’t have to do that. It was then I knew you loved me. I can’t remember when I didn’t love you. I think I always knew I’d marry you. Our relationship has never been normal, but it’s ours. You’re all I’ve ever wanted & I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you as your husband,”

Everyone was not so subtly wiping their eyes.

“Rings?” Jac asked, batting her lashes against her finger. Yoongi handed her the rings.

“Hobi,”

He nodded at her.

“I, Jung Hoseok, take you Park Jimin to be my husband, ‘til death do us part,”

Hobi almost dropped the ring trying to put it on Jimin’s finger.

“Jimin,”

He looked like he was going to faint.

“I, Park Jimin, take you Jung Hoseok to be my husband, ‘til death do us part,” Jimin managed to get the ring on Hobi’s finger without a bobble.

“By the power vested in me by the Church of Eternal Sunlight, I pronounce you husband & husband. Seal your union with a kiss,” Hobi grabbed Jimin & kissed him in a dramatic dip. They all laughed. Jac put on “Out of My League” by Fitz & the Tantrums. She & Namjoon translated for them.

_Cause you were out of my league_  
_All the things I believe_  
_You were just the right kind_  
_Yeah, you are more than just a dream_  
_You were out of my league_  
_Got my heartbeat racing_  
_If I die don't wake me_  
_Cause you are more than just a dream_

Yoongi passed out the champagne flutes. Jac had the glass in one hand & was dancing with Kookie with the other. Tae grabbed Yoongi’s hand & forced him to dance. The newlyweds were holding each other & crying. Jin had his head on Namjoon’s shoulder & they watched everyone else dance, laugh, or cry. Kookie spun Jac over toward Hobi & Jimin.

“You happy?” she asked. All Jimin could do was nod. Hobi dried his eyes on his sleeve.

“Thank you,”

“Of course, my loves,” she kissed them both on the cheek.

They ordered room service up to Jac & Yoongi’s room for the wedding dinner. It wasn’t a wedding Jac would’ve thrown, but they were happy. They couldn’t stop staring at each other & either laughing or crying. Jac found herself smiling watching them. Yoongi put his arm around her shoulders.

“You did good,” he told her.

“I did well,” she corrected.

“Picky,”

“Yup,” she kissed him.

**9:41pm**

Jimin & Hobi walked back into their room full & happy.

“Congratulations Mr Jung Hoseok,” Hobi kissed Jimin.

“You too Mr Park Jimin,”

They flopped down on the bed & looked at each other.

“We got married, didn’t we?” Hobi said.

“We did,” Jimin laughed.

“Did you really think you were going to marry me?” Hobi asked.

“I did,”

“Why?”

“I told you. You were there when it mattered the most. You fought for me. You wouldn’t let me die. You might suck at communicating, a lot, but you’re a good person. I knew you always cared about me. I knew I never wanted to be with anyone else. So I waited until you figured it out too,” he replied.

“Thanks for waiting,” Hobi smiled. Jimin rolled over & kissed him.

“I would’ve waited forever,”

Hobi kissed him back.

“What did you want to do on our first night as a married couple?”

“I assume going to sleep isn’t an option?” Jimin teased.

“It is not,” Hobi kissed him again.

“Show me how much you love me,”

“That could cover all manner of sins,” Hobi smiled. “Let me take you slowly. Draw it out.”

“Sounds wonderful,” Jimin stretched, revealing a sliver of his stomach. Hobi tickled it. Jimin swatted him & curled up. He’d always been absurdly ticklish. That just made Hobi tickle him more. Jimin squealed & swatted at him. Hobi ended up on top of him.

“You’re so cute,”

“Jackass,”

“I love you too,” he kissed him. He pulled off his shirt & started to unbutton Jimin’s shirt. Jimin put one hand on the back of Hobi’s head & rested the other one on his hip. Jimin wiggled out of his shirt & Hobi unzipped his jeans. Jimin wrapped his fingers in Hobi’s hair while Hobi pulled his jeans off. Hobi kicked off his sweatpants. He put his hands under Jimin’s back & pulled him up closer to him.

“You ready?” Hobi pushed Jimin’s hair off of his face.

“Always,”

Jimin rolled over & Hobi slowly slid into him. Jimin breathed out. Hobi stayed there simply enjoying the feeling of being inside his husband. He put his hands on the bed on either side of Jimin’s waist & leaned over. He rested his upper body on his back & began to move slowly. Jimin swayed his back.

“You like?”

“Mmhmm,”

“Good,”

He kept moving at that pace listening to Jimin’s breathing & feeling him move. Hobi found himself purring. He didn’t need to be pounding him at full force to enjoy it. He was perfectly happy resting on him & moving together. But he knew something that would make their wedding night memorable. He reached over & grabbed Jimin’s cock. He grunted. Hobi smiled.  
He slowly massaged Jimin’s cock as he moved. Jimin started moaning & grinding against Hobi. Hobi felt the tickle. He grabbed Jimin across his chest & with a firm stroke, he came. Hobi hung onto him & reveled in the feeling of Jimin writhing & groaning under him. When he finished, Hobi kissed between his shoulder blades. Jimin went down to his forearms.

“Your turn,” he breathed.

“Of course,”

Hobi finished himself slowly. He felt like he’d been punched in the chest when he came. It took his breath away. There had been so much buildup, physical & emotional, that he was caught completely off guard. He fell forward when he finished & landed heavily on Jimin’s back. He lowered them both down. Hobi managed to roll off & onto his side. Jimin was smiling at him from his stomach.

“Happy anniversary, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

“You too, Jiminie,”

Hobi got on his back & Jimin crawled up under Hobi’s arm. They fell asleep for the first time as husbands, forgetting the long road it took to get there.

**December 15, 2018**  
**10:24am**  
**New York City, New York**

Jimin & Hobi caught up with Kookie & Tae as they dispersed after breakfast.

“Do you mind if we talk?” Jimin asked.

“About?” Tae asked.

“Kookie’s & my...arrangement,” Hobi said.

“Oh,”

They went into Tae & Kookie’s room. Kookie & Tae sat on the bed & Jimin & Hobi sat on the couch.

“Now that Jimin & I are married, I want to remain monogamous. I want to end our arrangement,” Hobi said as he held Jimin’s hand.

“What?” Tae said. “Jimin tell him…”

“I agree with him, Tae. We talked about it & decided that we didn’t want this to be part of our marriage,” Jimin’s voice didn’t waver. Kookie was sitting there staring at the floor.

“What’s the difference? You were fine with it a week ago when you were just dating. Now it’s not okay because of a piece of paper?” Tae stood up.

“You’re not going to change my mind,” Hobi told him.

“Thanks for hanging us out to dry. You’re a real friend, Hoseok,” Tae snapped.

“Just stop, Tae,” Kookie said quietly.

“No! They’ve been telling us, you’ve been telling me that this is necessary for our relationship to survive. Now you’re just going to take it away?”

“Please, just stop,” Kookie didn’t look up from the floor.

“We’ll talk about this more later,” Jimin said. “I think we all need to calm down a bit.”

“Fine. Leave,” Tae crossed his arms over his chest. Hobi & Jimin got up & walked out.

“I can’t believe them! After months of telling me what I had to do for us to survive as a couple & then they go & do this? Have they been lying the whole time?” Tae started pacing back & forth. Kookie looked up at him. His eyes were red like he was trying not to cry.

“I don’t know what to do,”

“I’m ready to throttle them,” Tae grumbled.

“I need a minute to clear my head. I’ll be back,” Kookie got up & walked past Tae without saying anything else.

**10:43am**

Jac opened the door & saw Kookie standing there trying not cry.

“What's the matter? Did you & Tae have a fight?” she asked.

“I need my big sister,” he hugged her.

“Okay. Come in. I’ll fix it,”

He hung onto her as they walked into the room.

“Yoongi, my dear, I need a some privacy with my little brother if you don’t mind,”

“Sure. I’ll be across the hall,” he got up & kissed her as he left.

Jac got on the bed & patted her lap. Kookie curled up in a ball & put his head in her lap.

“So what’s the matter with my favorite little brother?” she scratched his head.

“Hobi broke off our arrangement because he & Jimin got married & Tae got all mad & I don’t know what to do if I don’t have Hobi,” he hiccuped out.

“Do you remember what I told you about not being afraid of yourself?”

“Yeah?”

“Start there. You’ve had sex with Tae plenty of times without hurting him or yourself,” she said.

“But it still gets bad. I still want to choke or be choked or be spanked or spank & it’s stuff I know he’s not up for,” he sniffed.

“Is he?”

“What do you mean?”

“Have you ever asked him if he’s willing to try?”

“He kinda freaked when he saw what happened between Hobi & me on my birthday,” Kookie told her. “I bite him sometimes, but that’s as far as it goes.”

“Maybe you should ask him & see if he’s interested in trying any of that. You might be surprised,” she said. “But I think there’s more to it than that.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you look in the mirror, what do you see?”

“Myself?”

“Do you see yourself as you are right now? Do you see 21 year old Jeon Jungkook the adored Golden Maknae of BTS or do you see someone else?”

“I see someone else,” he said it like it had just occurred to him in that moment.

“Who do you see?”

“Younger me. Like me when I started here. You saw. I was awkward & average,” he said.

“And why does that bother you?”

“Because I worked really, really hard to learn everything that I’m good at. The rapping, the dancing, the hat trick thing you saw, anything they were willing to teach me, I was willing to learn. I worked really hard to get good at it. Then when I got older, I was able to run fast & hit balls easily because I’d practiced other stuff that was kind of similar. It bothers me because people look at me now & think ‘Oh here’s this good looking guy who’s great at everything’ & I’m not,” he buried his face in her lap.

“You’re not what?”

“A good looking guy who’s great at everything,”

“Sit up for a second,” she lifted him up by his shoulders. “Look at me.”

He wiped his nose on his sleeve & looked at her.

“You are not defined by other people. You are defined by yourself. Objectively, you are good looking. Objectively, you’re very good at a lot of things. None of that matters if it doesn’t ring true to you. You’re willing to let people choke you & hit you in bed because you don’t know how else to get those feelings out. You want to choke people & hit people to assert a level of dominance that’s missing somewhere in there,” she poked his chest right over his heart. “Is this who you really want to be?”

Kookie shook his head.

“Then when you see that boy in the mirror, smile at him, tell him you love him, & then go on about your day. The rest will sort itself out,” she smiled.

“Does that really work?”

“It did for me,”

“Who did you see?”

“Me, but like I’d been dug up from a grave or something. Dirty, skinny, stringy hair, like something straight out of a horror movie,” she replied.

“And you told her you loved her?”

“I started a little smaller, but now when I see her I can. I don’t see her very much these days,”

“So you think I’m into BDSM because I hate myself?” he asked.

“I think you got into BDSM for the wrong reasons. It’s not for the insecure or faint of heart. I think you figured out the latter at least,”

“Should I quit? What if I hurt Tae? I’ll never, ever forgive myself if I hurt him,” he told her.

“I think you need to talk to him about it & agree on something. I can’t tell you what to do there,” she replied. Kookie lied back down & put his head back in her lap.

“I’m scared,”

“I know,”

“Can I stay here for a little bit?”

“Sure. Yoongi can keep himself entertained,” she scratched Kookie’s head & texted Yoongi.

“Get some rest, little one. You need it,”

“I’m like 8 inches taller than you,”

“And I’m 6 years older. Now hush & go to sleep,” she leaned down & kissed the side of his head.

“I love you, _nuna_ ,”

“I love you, too, _maknae_ ,”


	10. Mid / Late December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background music (if so inclined):  
> “I Need U” BTS  
> “State Line” Butch Walker  
> “Incomplete” Backstreet Boys  
> “Look What You Made Me Do” Taylor Swift

**December 17, 2018**   
**3:45pm**   
**Philadelphia, Pennsylvania**

Tae had been stewing for 2 days after their (largely one sided) conversation with Hobi & Jimin. Kookie hadn’t said much about it. He hadn’t said much at all. The tension was getting unbearable. Tae decided to take matters into his own hands.

He angrily banged on Hobi & Jimin’s door.

“You lied to me,” he said when Jimin opened the door.

“About what?”

“About all this shit that I had to put up with for our relationship to survive. That Kookie had to sleep with someone else or that he would hurt me. It was all a lie so you two could fuck around with him & cut me out of it,” he pushed past Jimin into the room.

“It wasn’t a lie, Tae. He was an untrained Dom with a violent streak. There was a time where he could have hurt you. He could’ve hurt anyone. You saw what he did that night after the concert. I couldn’t risk him doing that to someone who wasn’t prepared for it. You weren’t an experienced Sub. When I saw your reaction on his birthday, I knew I had to do something. I got him to where I was comfortable that he could control himself only to find out that Hobi had already discovered his fixation on being choked. Then we had to start all over again. If I lied, then it wasn’t intentional. Please understand that,” Jimin replied.

“Why did you change your mind?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why did you change your mind about letting Hobi fuck him?”

“That was Hobi’s idea,” Jimin told him. “He told me that he wanted to only be with me now that we’re married.”

“What do you want?” Tae asked.

“I’ve only ever wanted to be his only one. I took Kookie’s virginity because I knew Hobi would be too hard on him. I didn’t want him to have the same experience I did. That doesn’t mean I was okay with it. I slept with you because Hobi asked me to & you wanted to. This is what I wanted all along. I just had to wait around until Hobi caught up,” Jimin replied.

“Do you regret what we did?” Tae asked. Jimin sat on the bed.

“Regret is a strong word. If it had been left entirely up to me, I probably wouldn’t have done it,”

“I don’t know what I would’ve done. Kookie really liked watching us. I’m pretty sure he would’ve gotten off watching us if he hadn’t just gotten off a few minutes before,” Tae sighed.

“Oh really?” Jimin raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. I was ready to apologize & he was all over me. I didn’t get it,” Tae replied.

“I may have a solution to your problem. Let me talk to Hobi when he gets back & then you & I will talk some more,” Jimin told him.

“Why? What did I say?” Tae was mystified.

“I’ll tell you once I’ve talked to Hobi,”

“Okay…”

“I’ll text you when I’m ready,” Jimin shooed him out of the room.

**4:56pm**

Tae felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

_Ready to talk._

“I’ll be right back,” he told Kookie.

“Sure,” he was barely paying attention.

Tae knocked on Jimin & Hobi’s door.

“Other room,” Jimin walked him down the hall.

“So what was your brilliant plan?”

“Swinging,”

“Huh?”

“It’s when couples switch partners. It’s usually more of a party thing where you randomly switch, but we’ve kind of already been doing it,” Jimin explained.

“Doesn’t this negate your whole monogamy thing?” Tae asked.

“It’s not out of necessity. It would be for fun,”

“Fun?”

“It’s simply a suggestion. Hobi is open to it if you two are. I thought about what you said about Kookie getting turned on by watching us. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing,” Jimin said.

“But you said you regretted sleeping with me!” Tae felt like his head was going to explode. Why couldn’t he have a normal relationship?

“The circumstances weren’t ideal, but I don’t regret sleeping with you,”

“So you’d do it again?”

“Yes, if you were open to it. I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do. All of this is just an idea,” Jimin said. “Kookie & Hobi still get their dose of kinky & we can keep any eye on them. No one does anything behind closed doors with someone they aren’t in a relationship with.”

“So what? A sexual open door policy?”

“I guess you could call it that,”

“Let me see what Kookie says. I don’t want this to turn into them watching us fuck all the time,” Tae said.

“I’m inclined to agree with you on that,” Jimin said. They looked at each other for a painfully long moment.

“He gave you permission before you came in here, didn’t he?”

“Yes,”

Tae thought for a second.

“Fuck Kookie & his bullshit,” Tae grabbed Jimin & kissed him deeply. Jimin kissed him back, wrapping his fingers in Tae’s hair. Tae put his hands up Jimin’s shirt & pulled it off.

_God damn he has perfect abs._

Jimin shoved Tae’s pants down & grabbed his cock.

_God damn he has a perfect cock._

“Fuck me,” Jimin said in between kisses.

“I thought I was the Sub,” Tae breathed.

“The Sub does what he’s told,” Jimin gave Tae’s balls a squeeze.

“Yes,”

“Yes…?”

“Yes, sir,”

“Good boy,” Jimin licked Tae’s bottom lip. Tae kissed his way down Jimin’s neck to his chest. Tae grabbed Jimin’s ass.

_God damn he has a perfect ass._

He picked Jimin up slightly & dropped him on the bed. He crawled on top of him & kissed him the way he wanted to kiss Kookie. Kookie was too afraid of himself to let Tae kiss him like he wanted to. Like tongues attacking the other person’s mouth. Kookie was afraid he had a hair trigger & while Tae respected that, he had needs too.

Jimin lightly ran his hands down Tae’s back as he kissed him. He could feel every muscle move & twist as he held himself up. Jimin never really took the time to feel his partner move as they made out. He couldn’t think of why not.

_God damn he has a perfect back._

“Show me your ass,” Tae breathed.

“Are you ordering me around, Sub?”

“Please show me your ass, sir,”

“That’s better,” Jimin rolled over.

“How would you like it, sir?”

“Pound me, Sub. Show me what you’ve learned,”

Tae tentatively entered Jimin. He almost, almost, felt as good as Hobi. If Hobi didn’t exist, Tae would be a perfect match. Tae couldn’t stop himself from moaning as he entered Jimin.

“Fuuuuuuck,”

_God damn this is perfect._

“Anytime now,” Jimin told him. Tae started slowly because he was enjoying being inside Jimin so much. He hated himself for it, but it felt better than being inside Kookie. Kookie had no one to blame but himself. He’d gotten to fuck both Jimin & Hobi & left Tae behind more times than Tae cared to count. It wasn’t Tae’s fault that Jimin felt so damn good. In Tae’s mind, it was Kookie’s fault that he was fucking Jimin in the first place.

“Jesus, Jimin. Why does this feel so fucking good?”

“I don’t know, but I may have rethought my pounding instructions,” Jimin replied. Tae moaned again as he slid in & out of Jimin.

“Fuck,” Jimin groaned. “If I weren’t married, I’d have you on speed dial.”

“I’m not married. Does that count?” Tae could barely talk. The whole experience was taking his breath away.

“I wish. This is amazing,” Jimin started to move with Tae. Tae grunted.

“If you keep that up, I’m going to come in about 5 seconds,”

“I’m not far off,”

Jimin stopped moving & let Tae do the work. They both moaned & squirmed as Tae rocked back & forth.

“Move with me. I’m ready,” Tae managed to huff out.

“Me too,” Jimin pushed his ass back onto Tae’s cock & ground into him. Tae came & Jimin came about 5 seconds later. They both thrashed & screamed like they never had before. Neither of them had ever felt this good. They’d never felt this intense. They’d never begged for it without actually begging for it.

_God damn this is perfect._

When they finally finished (after what felt like forever), they fell off of each other. Jimin pushed Tae’s hair off of his face. Tae laughed & kissed Jimin.

“Can we do that again?”

“I think I need time to recover,” Jimin smiled.

“Women have it easy,” Tae said.

“At least with this they do,”

“I think I can talk Kookie into this,”

“Good. That was the best sex I’ve had in years,” Jimin replied.

“You’re welcome,”

Jimin just laughed.

**6:15pm**

“How’d it go?” Hobi asked when Jimin came back.

“You’ll get what you want & I’ll get what I want,” Jimin replied.

“You’re a sneaky bitch, Park Jimin,” Hobi kissed him.

“It’s why you married me, Jung Hoseok,”

“Ready for some husband time?” Hobi was already playing with the hem of Jimin’s shirt.

“Absolutely,” Jimin giggled as he put his hand down Hobi’s pants.

**December 20, 2018**   
**10:37pm**   
**Philadelphia, Pennsylvania**

The longer the show went & the more Tae watched Jimin, the more distracted he got. Tae wanted to hold Jimin’s hand & run his thumb over his knuckles. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to feel every inch of him touching him. He wanted to breathe him in. Jimin came over & jumped on Tae’s back. That wasn’t the least bit unusual during shows. Tae almost didn’t catch him because he was so distracted. Jimin kept singing his part while Tae held him up piggy back style around the stage. While Jimin was smiling & singing, Tae could hear the struggle in his voice & feel the strain in his body. He’d already missed one show due to exhaustion & he was teetering on the edge of missing another. Tae could feel it. In his gut, he knew it wasn’t his place to help him. He wasn’t his husband. He was more than his friend. He was wedged between a rock & a hard place. It sucked. Not in the fun way.

_God damn I’m falling in love with him._

**11:39pm**

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Jac huffed as she got up to answer the enthusiastic banging on the door. Tae was on the other side looking completely wild eyed. Yoongi looked up.

“I’ll be across the hall,” he sighed.

“Thanks,” Jac kissed him.

“I think I’m in love with Jimin,” he blurted out.

“Whoa, whoa slow your roll there,” Jac held up her hand. “What the hell is going on?”

“I confronted Jimin about Hobi ending it with Kookie. I told him that Kookie got really turned on when he watched us having sex. Then he talked to Hobi & suggested swinging. Hobi said yes, but Jimin & I had sex without Hobi or Kookie there after we talked. I haven’t asked Kookie about the swinging yet. The sex with Jimin was amazing, though. It was better than with Kookie. Jimin told me it was the best sex he’s had in years. I could tell at the show tonight that Jimin is getting tired. I want to take care of him, but I’m not his husband. I feel like I’m falling in love with him & I have no idea what to do,” Tae said it all in practically one breath.

“Okay, sit,” she said. Tae sat on the bed.

“If what you’ve told me is even remotely accurate then I don’t think you’re in love with Jimin,”

“What?”

“I think you’re confusing love with the release of getting back at Kookie for months of blowing you off,” she told him. “Which doesn’t surprise me at all.”

“I don’t understand,”

She sighed & sat down next to him.

“How long has Kookie been sleeping with Hobi and or Jimin?”

“Since August,”

“How many times has he blown you off to sleep with one of them?”

“A lot,”

“Now you get the chance to sleep with someone else, you take it, he tells you it was a great fuck, & now you’re not sure what to do with it so you interpret it as love,” she said.

“I love Kookie, but with Jimin I just…” Tae sighed.

“Found a really good fuck,” Jac finished.

Tae’s shoulders slumped.

“But I know he’s sick. What do I do about that?”

“Talk to him as a friend. I assume you’re still friends,”

“Yeah,”

“If you’re really that uncomfortable approaching him directly then talk to Hobi. You know he won’t fight Hobi on it,” she said.

“Why does he love Hobi so much?” Tae asked.

“Why does anyone love anyone else deeply? I doubt any of us would understand the reasons they love each other. Would people understand the reasons you still love Kookie when he’s hurt you as much as he has?”

“Probably not,”

“If y’all want to swing from the chandeliers every night, that’s between you as couples. If you think someone else’s husband is a better fuck than your boyfriend, you better speak up. Keeping your mouth shut in these situations only gets you in trouble,” she explained.

“So I’m not in love with him?”

“I mean, it’s possible, but given the circumstances I don’t think it’s likely,” she shrugged.

“Now what?”

“Talk it out. Ideally with all your clothes on,” Jac said. Tae hugged her.

“Thanks Jac,”

“It’s what I’m here for. One of the things anyway,” she gave him a squeeze.

Tae got up & was determined to do something about this mess.

**December 21, 2018**   
**12:36am**   
**Philadelphia, Pennsylvania**

“We need to talk,” Tae said when he got back in their room.

“About?” Kookie asked.

“Jimin & Hobi want to try swinging. I told Jimin how you reacted when you saw us have sex. That’s what they came up with,” Tae told him.

“Okay,”

“Jimin & I had sex again after we talked,”

“Okay,”

“Ummm, it was really good,” Tae looked at the floor.

“How good?” Kookie asked warily. Tae was silent. “Tae, how good?”

“Better than with you,” it was barely audible. Kookie had to strain to hear him. “I don’t know what else to say.”

It had finally happened. He’d finally lost Tae to someone else. Jimin was married, but it didn’t matter. Tae had found someone he’d rather be with. He’d pushed his luck for months. Now the only person he’d ever loved was standing in front of him telling him that he found someone who satisfied him more. Kookie dropped his head. He wanted to cry, but he couldn’t. He felt like his heart had been torn out.

“I understand if you want to leave me. I deserve it,”

“I never said I was going to leave you,” Tae told him.

“But now you know there’s something better out there. Why stay with me when you can have better?”

“Because I don’t want to be Jimin’s side piece. Yes, it was amazing sex. It was probably the best sex I’ve ever had. There’s more to a relationship than that. I have so much more with you than sex. I just wanted you to know the truth. I love you, Kookie. I don’t want to leave you,” Tae sat in Kookie’s lap. He kissed him gently. “I love you so much, baby.”

“I love you too,” Kookie ran his hand through Tae’s hair.

“I want you,” Tae whispered.

“Are you sure?”

“I told you, you give me so much more,” Tae kissed him again. He leaned over & got on top of Kookie. He ground his hips into Kookie’s as he kissed his way down his neck. Kookie put his hands under the back of Tae’s shirt. Tae nuzzled Kookie’s neck. Kookie rubbed Tae’s back feeling him move under his hands. Tae kissed Kookie’s neck.

“Trust yourself, baby. Trust me,” Tae breathed. He felt Kookie relax under him. “Breathe.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I’ve loved you forever,” Tae smiled down at him. “Now grab my ass & show me the Dom I know you can be.”

“You’re so damn sexy,”

“All for you,”

“Why do we still have our clothes on?”

“No idea,”

They giggled uncontrollably as they took off each other’s clothes.

“You want me to Dom you?”

“I want to Sub for you,”

“So yes?”

“Yes, so much yes,” Tae put his hand on the back of Kookie’s neck & kissed him.

“You remember those mind blowing orgasms I talked about?”

“Uh huh,”

“I’m going to give you one of those,” Kookie walked his fingers up Tae’s thighs. He tickled the inside of his hips. Tae squirmed & thrust his hips up. Kookie slipped one hand under Tae’s ass.

“Lie down,” Kookie whispered in his ear. Tae slowly lied down extending his arms above his head. Kookie took Tae’s arms & pinned them by his sides. He put his face in the crook of Tae’s neck & ground his hips into him. He traced circles on Tae’s neck with his tongue. He heard Tae suck in a breath. He put his teeth on Tae’s neck, but didn’t put any pressure on him.

“Are you going to bite me?”

“Maybe,”

“Will it pleasure you?”

“Yes,”

“Then do it,”

Kookie moved his mouth down to Tae’s shoulder. He kissed his shoulder, opened his mouth, & bit down. Tae grunted & arched his back. Kookie kissed his way to Tae’s other shoulder & did the same thing. Tae tried to pull his arms loose. Kookie pushed down on his arms harder. He kissed him intensely.

“Sit on my cock,”

“Of course,” Tae bumped Kookie’s nose with his. Kookie sat up & crossed his legs. He was unbelievably hard. Tae slowly slid down onto Kookie’s dick.

“What do you want from me, baby?” Tae wrapped his arms around Kookie’s head & hissed in his ear.

“I want you to come for me. And I want to hear it,”

“Yes, baby,” Tae breathed. Kookie started thrusting into Tae. Tae threw his head back & started moaning. Kookie grasped Tae’s dick & started using the ripple motion that Tae used on him.

“Oh fuck, baby,” Tae panted. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“I promised you a mind blowing orgasm. You’re getting a mind blowing orgasm,” Kookie kissed under Tae’s chin. He stopped to massage the tip of his cock. Tae squeaked.

“Did I find a good spot?”

Tae nodded. Kookie switched from thrusting to grinding & kept massaging the end of Tae’s dick. Tae’s chest was heaving & he was scratching Kookie’s biceps. Kookie stopped, smiled at Tae, then thrust into him. Tae came clawing at Kookie’s arms & screaming. He thrust against Kookie’s hand as he came. When he finished, he fell forward onto Kookie’s chest.

“Did I give you what I promised?” he wrapped one arm around Tae’s shoulders & pushed his hair back with the other hand. Tae nodded.

“I’ll never leave you, baby,” he said.

“Thank you,” Kookie kissed the top of his head. “I love you, too.”

**8:45pm**

They were about to start the solo sequence. As Hobi turned, he saw an unusual movement. It took a second to register that Jimin’s legs had given out & Tae had somehow managed to catch him before he hit the stage. The whole arena went dead silent.

“Jiminie, what happened?” Hobi asked when he got over to him. He already knew the answer.

“It’s fine. My legs are just tired,” he looked up at Hobi. By this point Jac had run out on stage & was yelling up at the tech crew in English.

“Kill the lights! Cut the sound!”

They looked at her like she had three heads.

“Do I have to come up there & do it myself? Shut off the system!”

The stage lights went off & all of their mics went off.

“Jesus, did I have to fucking spell it for them,” she grumbled in Korean as she walked back over. She squatted down in front of Jimin between Hobi & Tae.

“Let’s take this party backstage, shall we?”

Hobi & Tae helped Jimin up. Jac led them off the stage & the other 4 followed. They carefully put him down on one of the couches in the green room.

“What just happened?” she asked. Hobi sat next to Jimin & started rubbing his back.

“I might have pushed myself a little hard,” he said quietly.

“A little? Your legs just gave out in front of 20,000 people. You’re lucky Tae has good reflexes or we’d be checking you for a concussion right now,”

“Why are you so pissed off?” Kookie asked.

“Because you’re my brothers & I love you & I can’t stand to see you hurt yourselves,” she blurted out. “And in 9 days I won’t have you anymore.”

“We love you too, Jac,” Jin said, hugging her.

“We’ll go finish the show without Jimin & then have some family bonding time later. Whatever that might be,” Namjoon said.

“Okay,” they all agreed. The rest of them went back onstage & Jac & Jimin stayed behind. Jac heard some kind of announcement, but couldn’t discern any specific words.

“I can’t believe this is happening again,” Jimin sniffed. Jac adjusted him so he was lying down & she cuddled up next to him.

“You push yourself too hard,” she said. He wrapped an arm around her.

“I want to be perfect. I need to be perfect,” he told her.

“You want some unsolicited advice from a recovered perfectionist?”

“Sure,”

“Life is messy. Life is gross. Life goes the way you plan about 1% of the time. You have to just go with it. No amount of purging or drugs or shopping will fix it. I know that’s a million times easier said than done, but it’s true. There is literally no such thing as perfect. You can be good. You can be excellent. You’ll never be perfect. You know how much your body can handle. I know you do. You wouldn’t be at this level if you didn’t. When you hit that point then you need to stop. Part of you knows that. The part of you that fought to stop purging knows that. Don’t ignore it. Listen to it. If you can’t listen to it then listen to me. I’m telling you to go easy on yourself. I’m telling you to be kind to yourself. You’re my brother, I love you, & I’ll sit on you to make you take a break if I have to,” she said.

“I could just stand up to get you off my lap,” he said.

“You underestimate my determination to stay in someone’s lap,” she smiled.

“I suppose underestimating you is a poor life choice,” he looked down at her.

“You’ll lose every time. Let’s watch some of your early videos so you can hear my scathing commentary on your fashion choices & swoon over those baby cheeks of yours,” she pinched his cheek.

“Ugh, seriously?”

“It’s either that or more dirty tweets,”

“Early videos,”

“I thought so,” she rolled over & pulled out her phone so they could settle in & watch.

**11:38pm**

“So what constitutes family bonding time?” Jac asked. She had her legs flung across Yoongi’s lap on one of the couches in Namjoon & Jin’s room. Her back was propped up on Hobi’s shoulder who had Jimin in his lap.

“I think you’ve taught us enough drinking games,” Jin said.

“Fail,” she replied. “Spin the bottle?”

“No,” Namjoon said. She stuck her tongue out at him.

“What about our first impression of you,” Hobi looked at Jac.

“Why me?”

“You’re our newest member. You get roasted,” he said.

“You all met me at the same time,” she protested.

“Fine, the thing that stuck with us the most after we met you,” Namjoon said.

“Oh great,”

“Oldest first - Jin,” Namjoon said.

“Other than being one of the most intimidating people I’ve ever met,” he started. She laughed. “You weren’t really trying to scare anyone. You’re just confident. Without you, I wouldn’t have my husband & wouldn’t have even had the guts to try.”

“Awww, thank you,” she smiled.

“Me next!” Tae raised his hand.

“Oh no,” she said.

“You’re really smart. You always know what to do when I need help. Even though you think you're mean, you’re actually nice,” he said. She laughed again.

“Dammit, I guess I have to try harder,”

“My turn,” Kookie said.

“Okay _Golden Maknae_ , bring it on,”

He took a deep breath.

“Tae kind of said what I was going to say already. You were the first person I thought of when I really needed help. More than my brothers even. You didn’t make fun of me. You hugged me like it was something we’d always done. I don’t have a sister & I didn’t realize how much I needed one until you came along. I love you, _nuna_ ,” Jac was fluttering her lashes against her finger.

“I’m not crying, I have something in my eye,” she said. They all smiled at her.

“After that I feel bad calling you a heartless bitch,” Hobi said. She elbowed him. “Thank you for taking care of my Jiminie when I couldn’t,” he nuzzled Jimin’s ear. “We’ve been through a lot & I don’t trust a lot of people. I knew I could trust you to help him when I couldn’t be there. So thank you.”

“And thank you for helping me. Even if you read me gross tweets & make fun of my baby cheeks,” Jimin leaned back to look at her.

“You’re welcome. Both of you,”

“Your baby cheeks were adorable,” Hobi kissed Jimin’s cheek.

“Thank you for being creative enough & stubborn enough to give me my husband. That’s a debt I can never repay,” Namjoon squeezed Jin’s hand & looked at Jac.

“Be happy. That’s my price,” she smiled.

“We can do that,” he replied.

They all looked at Yoongi.

“Well?”

Yoongi looked down at his hands in Jac’s lap.

“Come on, Yoon. Everyone else did it,” Hobi said.

“I, ummm, the first time I really got to look at you it felt like the air got sucked out of the room. I never looked twice at anyone ever. They were people. They came & went. Then I saw you in that tee shirt & jeans & I needed to look twice. I couldn’t look away. When we were getting dinner, I stared because I felt like I had something to prove. It wasn’t to anyone else. It was to myself. If I could stare you down, then nothing was different. It was a fluke. I couldn’t. It wasn’t a fluke. I didn’t know what to say or what to do. All I knew is I wanted to look at you all the time. I wanted to see you. I thought that made me seem creepy so I fought it. Now I wish I’d given in sooner. That’s all,”

The only noise in the room was the heater.

“Wow,” Tae broke the silence.

Jac stared at him completely speechless. She was never speechless. Then she kissed him. She didn’t hear any of the usual snarky comments or gagging sounds. She didn’t hear anything other than the echo of what he’d said.

_All I knew is I wanted to look at you all the time_.

“If you don’t mind, I think we’re going to leave now,” Jac said, not looking away from Yoongi.

“Don’t let us stop you,” Namjoon said.

**December 22, 2018**   
**12:38am**   
**Philadelphia, Pennsylvania**

Jac practically slammed the door to their room. Yoongi pushed her hair behind her ears as he kissed her. She hooked her arms around his neck & he picked her up. They tumbled onto the bed & she pulled off his shirt. He rolled her on top of him as she threw her shirt to the side. As their chests touched, he felt the air go out of his lungs. She made him feel like he was drowning & he was content to let her do it.

“You’re beautiful,” he looked up at her.

“So are you,” she kissed his nose. They wrestled out of their bottoms & she slid down on his cock. He thrust up into her as she ground against him. She leaned over & her lips tickled his ear.

“Don’t go stealing my thunder,”

“Huh?”

“Let me fuck you,”

“Yes ma’am,”

“Honey, I’m too young to be a ma’am,”

“Then yes, dear,”

“That’s better,” she kissed him. She made long, deliberate strokes up & down his cock. He reached up & ran his hands down her chest. He wrapped his hand in her hair & pulled her head down to kiss her. She started moving faster. She heard him grunt & felt him twitch.

“Are you ready?”

“You first,”

“How polite,” she leaned down so their chests were touching & braced her arms on his shoulders. She pounded against him & he couldn’t resist anymore. He thrust into her & she came. She buried her face in his shoulder & he felt her contract around him. He felt her breath on his shoulder as she ground against his dick. When she finally finished, she flopped down on him & nuzzled the side of his head.

“Cheater,”

“You loved it,”

“Your turn,”

“Yes dear,” he smiled. He held onto her & rolled over. She smiled up at him as he moved in & out of her. He was close, but he wanted to extend it as long as he could. Then she contracted around him & he came. He fell on top of her & she hung onto him as he thrust into her. She refused to let go. He finished & dropped his head into the pillow.

“Don’t suffocate yourself,” she laughed.

“Not trying to,” he turned his head.

“Good,”

_All I knew is I wanted to look at you all the time._

The countdown on his phone ticked down to less than 8 days.

**December 25, 2018**   
**6pm**   
**Williamsburg, Virginia**

None of them could remember the last time they’d really celebrated Christmas. For one reason or another, it had passed them by over the years. Jac, being the resident party planner, decided that would be different this year. She’d rented a private room at the Williamsburg Inn in Colonial Williamsburg for them to have dinner, exchange gifts, & drink too much. She’d booked rooms so they could simply stumble upstairs after one too many Poinsettias. She also insisted everyone dress up.

The boys were all waiting outside the room.

“How long does it take to get ready?” Kookie asked.

“She kicked me out after I put my suit on,” Yoongi shrugged.

“This must be one hell of an entrance,” Hobi said.

“That’s the idea,” she said from behind them. They turned around to see her standing in an emerald green sleeveless full length gown. Her hair was in an elaborate updo & she had her signature teardrop earrings.

“I might go straight for you,” Jin said.

“Hey! You’re married!” Namjoon said. She laughed.

“I’m flattered,”

Yoongi couldn’t form words. She looked like the princess he always imagined her to be. His suit may have been Gucci, but he was still a boy from a small town who refused to believe in fairytales. Hard work & stubbornness got you ahead in the world. Princesses weren’t real & they sure as hell weren’t for him. Yet there she stood.

“I’m going to assume the staring means you approve?” she looked at Yoongi.

“You...wow,”

“Thank you. Now let’s eat a stupid amount of food & get drunk,” she smiled.

“On it,” Hobi said.

They sat down & the waiters began pouring the champagne. Jac held up her glass.

“Merry Christmas, my lovelies,”

“Merry Christmas, Jac,”

“We got you a present,” Jimin said.

“You didn’t have to do that. I’ve already had your absurdly expensive gifts sent to your rooms,” she said.

“We did it anyway,” he said handing her a long box. She opened it & there was a charm bracelet inside. There were 7 rose shaped charms & 1 shaped like a stargazer lily. She took it out & looked at it more closely.

“KNJ - Doc”  
“KTH - Dopey”  
“MY - Grumpy”  
“PJ- Bashful”  
“JHS - Happy”  
“KSJ - Sneezy”  
“JJK - Sleepy”  
“JAC - Snow”

She looked up at them.

“We kinda felt like you became our princess. A foul mouthed, pain in the ass princess, but our princess nonetheless,” Namjoon said.

“I think I’m gonna cry,” she said. Yoongi took it from her & put it around her wrist.

“Thank you,” she got up & hugged all of them. “How did you know a stargazer lily is my favorite flower?”

“Yoongi did a little recon for us,” Kookie said.

“So THAT’S why you were asking me about flowers,” she said.

“I might still get you flowers!” he held up his hands. They laughed.

**11:30pm**

“Good lord, I’m stuffed,” Jac said as she & Yoongi got back into their room.

“I’m drunk,” Yoongi laughed.

“Perfect. My evil plan worked,” she grabbed the lapels of his jacket & kissed him.

“Do you ever have not evil plans?” he asked.

“Nope,” she shook her head.

“Is that on the list of reasons I love you?”

“Yes. Along with great hair & I’m good in bed,” she grinned.

“All reasonable,” he kissed her again. She pushed his jacket off.

“Before you get too handsy, I have a present for you,” he said.

“You got me a present,”

“That was from all of us. This is from me,” he told her. He handed her a small box. She unwrapped it.

“A flash drive? Did you get me porn?”

“No, silly. Put it in your laptop,”

She plugged it in & an audio file popped up. She clicked on it & a song she didn’t recognize started playing. It was slow with the kind of melody that resonated into your core.

_The shadows of your tears reflect upon my face_   
_I wait inside your shadow for my time_   
_The lights above your head cast shadows in empty space_   
_For when the day comes I lose you_   
_Your shadows will always hide mine_

She sat there stunned as it came to an end.

“I wrote it for you. I called it ‘Shadows’,” he said.

“You wrote a song for me?”

He nodded.

“That’s the best present I’ve ever gotten. One year I literally got a pony for Christmas,” she wiped tears out of her eyes. “Thank you, Yoongi.”

“You’re welcome, Jac,” he kissed her.

“Help get me out of this dress so I can thank you properly,” she smiled.

“Of course,”

“Merry Christmas,”

“Merry Christmas,”

Yoongi tried to ignore the fact that the countdown on his phone had ticked down to less than 5 days. He’d given her the best gift she’d ever gotten & he had her tonight.

_For when the day comes I lose you._

That day was too close for comfort.

**December 29, 2018**   
**12:01am**   
**Washington DC**

Jac rolled over & noticed she was in the bed by herself. She got up & saw a light on the balcony.

Yoongi was sitting out there smoking. He had a sweatshirt on, but was still in shorts & bare feet.

“What are you doing out here? It’s the middle of the night & it’s literally freezing,” she said.

“Thinking,” he replied, not looking at her.

“You can think inside. Come back to bed,” she put her hand on his shoulder. He jerked it away.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“We leave in less than 48 hours,” he said. Jac bit her lip.

“Is that what this is about?”

“Yes, it is,” he snapped. She jumped. He’d never raised his voice at her.

“Can we please talk about this inside? I’m freezing,” she said. He stamped out his cigarette & stood up. He walked inside without looking at her. He couldn’t make himself look at her. If he looked at her, he’d lose what little composure he had left.

“You knew this was going to happen. We knew this was going to happen,” she said.

“It doesn’t mean I have to like it,” he replied.

“I can’t come with you,”

“Why not? You ran away from your life before,”

“I didn’t run, Yoongi. I can’t just up & move to another country. There are laws & protocols. You can’t just stick me in your suitcase & hope they don’t notice me when your bag goes through security,” she told him.

“Don’t give me ideas, Jac,” he replied. She put her head in her hands.

“You accepted this when we got together. At least, I thought you did,”

“So did I. Now I’m looking at the countdown on my phone & the takeoff time on the boarding pass & I’d rather die,” he put a shaking hand on her cheek.

“That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?”

“Then you don’t know me very well,”

Jac felt horrible. She didn’t want to lose him either, but she’d resigned herself to that fact a long time ago.

“I love you, Jac Candler,” he said.

“I love you too, Min Yoongi,” she replied, kissing him. It only took them until less than 2 days before being forced on opposite sides of the world to admit what they both already knew. Yoongi pushed Jac’s sweater off her shoulders. Jac pulled Yoongi’s sweatshirt over his head. He put his hands on the small of her back & pulled her closer to him.

_Hold on to this. Hold on to her._

He ran his fingers lightly down her arms as he kissed her neck. She pulled down his shorts & grabbed his crotch. He cupped his hands under her ass & picked her up. Fuck hurting his shoulder. This mattered more. He slid off her bottoms & lied on top of her.

“I don’t know what to do,” he brushed her hair off of her face.

“Do whatever you want to me, Yoongi,” she smiled up at him.

“Of course,” he kissed her. He slid into her & she breathed out. She wasn’t as noisy as his brothers & he appreciated that. He wanted to feel her rather than hear her. He loved to see her react to him. He started to move & she moved with him. She stared up at him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He could still smell her perfume even though she’d had a shower. He didn’t have to pound her or thrust until they were both sore. Being inside her was enough. It was what he wanted to remember. It was what he wanted to keep. They looked in each other’s eyes as he slid in & out of her. He breathed with her. He put his lips next to her ear.

“Don’t let go,”

“I won’t,” she kissed the side of his head.

Yoongi sped up & Jac curled in around him. Her breath was hot & uneven on his ear. He took long, smooth strokes. He felt her start to contract around him. He kept going. She held onto him & ground her hips into him as she came. Then she bit his shoulder. That finished him. He refused to let go of her as he came. If this was their last time, he was keeping as much of her as possible.

“What was the bite for?” he asked when he lied on top of her.

“A little something to remember me by,” she replied.

_I’ve memorized you. I’ll always remember you._

“Good night, Jac,”

“Good night, Yoongi,”

And he fell asleep inside her.

**3:36pm**

“Hey Jac,” Tae caught up with her in the hall.

“What’s up?”

“I know you like to do big parties for our birthdays & stuff, but since we’re leaving tomorrow, I wanted to stay in,” he told her.

“Okay,” she said slowly.

“I want us to just...be a family. That’s what I want for my birthday,”

“So I guess I should cancel the strippers & keep all the party drugs for myself then,” she smiled. It wasn’t her usual smile. This one was forced. Not because she was disappointed that they wouldn’t be going out, but because she knew they’d be gone in less than 2 days.

“Sorry. I’ll owe you the deposit,” his smile was equally forced.

“Let me know what you want & I’ll make it happen,”

“I’ll do that,” he hugged her.

_Come with us._

_Don’t leave me._

**9:30pm**

Tae’s birthday party was about as far from a party as one could get. They practically sat in silence the entire time with the occasional comment on the food or drinks.

“I’m kinda tired,” Kookie said.

“Me too,” Jimin agreed. No one made any effort to get up & leave.

“How many KPop idols can you fit in one bed,” Jac laughed a little.

“Seven,” Jin said.

“And one tiny American,” Yoongi added.

“It’ll be like old times. All of us in one room,” Namjoon looked at them.

“Even more personal. All in one bed,” Hobi snorted.

They all got up & went into the bedroom. They somehow arranged themselves so no one had a foot or ass in the face.

“I love you,” Jac said from on top of the pile.

“We love you too,” they replied.

And they fell asleep in one messy dogpile, trying to forget what tomorrow would bring.

**December 30, 2018**   
**10:22pm**   
**Dulles International Airport**

They stood at the top of the jetway where the private plane waited. It would fly them to New York & then they’d fly back to Seoul. Jac would fly back to LA early tomorrow morning. Namjoon broke the silence first.

“It’s been an adventure,” he said.

“Yes, yes it has,” Jac replied. “Bet you never thought you’d end up with an honorary 8th member.”

“I didn’t, but of all the 8th members we could’ve picked up, you’d be my first choice,”

“Thank you. I appreciate the compliment,” she hugged him. He kissed her on the cheek.

“Remember what I said about being happy. I’ll come back & charge you for your wedding if you aren’t,” she looked at Jin.

“I don’t think that’ll be an issue,” he hugged her & almost knocked the wind out of her.

“You gonna miss my sequins, Hobes?”

“Is water wet?”

“Maybe you can just pretend it’s me when Jimin is wearing that ridiculous shirt,” she smiled. They all laughed a little.

“If I were gonna go straight, it would be for you,”

“I love you, too,” he picked her up when he hugged her.

“Go easy on yourself. I will be checking up on you,” she said to Jimin. “And forwarding dirty tweets.”

“Oh no,”

“You secretly love them,”

“No I do not,” he hugged her & kissed her cheek.

She turned to Tae. He’d started crying.

“Have a good 23rd trip around the sun,”

“Thank you,” he sniffed.

“I love you,”

“I love you, too,” he cried into her hair.

“You’ll be okay. I’ll still talk to you. All of you,” she gave him a squeeze.

Kookie had started crying, too.

“I love you, _nuna_ ,”

“I love you, _maknae_ ,”

Kookie refused to let go.

“I wish I could, little one. More than anything,”

“Me too,”

That only left Yoongi. Any words Jac had dissolved in her throat. All she could do was stare at him. He stared back. Then he kissed her.

“Take care of yourself,” she whispered.

“I love you, Jac Candler,”

“I love you, Min Yoongi,”

“We need to leave or you’ll miss your connection!” Someone yelled from the jetway.

“Be good,” she said. “All of you.”

“You too,”

She hugged them all one more time before they walked down the jetway & disappeared onto the plane.

Jac made it as far as a bench right inside the main doors before she sat down, dropped her head in her hands, & sobbed.


	11. Early January

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background music (if you’re so inclined):  
> “Seesaw” BTS (Yoongi’s solo)  
> “Sometime Around Midnight” Airborne Toxic Event  
> “Signs” Bloc Party  
> “idfc” blackbear 
> 
> Trigger / Content Warning: This month contains drug & alcohol abuse, a suicide attempt, & self harm.

**January 1, 2019**   
**5pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Yoongi sighed as he unzipped his suitcase. They’d been back for 2 days & he was just now getting around to unpacking. He hadn’t talked to Jac. He’d ignored her calls & snarky texts about “Happy New Year from the past!” He winced every time he heard her text tone. She was 16 hours behind them. Sometimes he tried to calculate what time it was there. Most of the time he didn’t.

As he pulled out one of his shirts, a small bag fell onto the floor. He picked it up & opened it. A piece of paper & Jac’s diamond teardrop earrings fell into his hand.

_I didn’t think these were your style, but I always saw you watching. I hope you love them as much as I did. I love you. - Jac_

Yoongi tightened his hand around them & walked across the hall to Jimin & Hobi’s room. Hobi looked up from the computer when he heard something at the door.

“What’s going on?”

Yoongi opened his hand.

“She hid these in my suitcase,” he said. Hobi got up & looked in his hand.

“Her earrings?”

“She always wore them. They’d been in her family for decades. She just...gave them to me,” he said.

“That was thoughtful,” Hobi said.

“I don’t know why she’d do that,”

“Because she cares?” Hobi suggested.

“She loves me,”

“I know,”

“I love her,”

“I know,”

“And I lost her,” he looked down at his hand.

“I’m sorry,” Hobi put his hand on Yoongi’s shoulder. Yoongi looked down at the earrings one more time & started to cry. Hobi stood there holding his best friend wishing desperately that he knew how to heal a broken heart.

**7pm**

“I don’t know how to help him,” Hobi swirled the liquid around in his glass.

“I don’t think you can,” Jin replied. They were bundled up sitting out on the balcony. Yoongi had retreated back into his room & was now refusing to come out.

“I can’t watch him suffer like that,”

“Has Jac tried to talk to him?”

“I’ve heard her text him. He just ignores it,” Hobi took a drink.

“It’s not for lack of trying on her part,” Jin said.

“Why doesn’t he respond? Wouldn’t that make him feel better?”

“Why does Yoongi do anything? You know he’s stubborn as all hell. He obviously decided he doesn’t want to talk to her. Nothing any of us say or do will change his mind,”

“I worry that he’ll crawl back in that hole & we won’t be able to get him out again,”

“I hope it doesn’t come to that,” Jin sighed.

“Me too,” Hobi agreed.

**January 1, 2019**   
**Midnight**   
**Los Angeles, California**

“Hey Yoongi. Happy New Year from the past! I think it’s still today there. I dunno. My time zone skills suck. I hope Hobi didn’t kiss you at midnight. You know where he’s been. Anyway, I hope you actually listen to this before 2020. Or, you know, ever. I love you. Bye,”

Jac hung up the phone & stared out window. She’d turned down 3 party invitations. New Year’s Eve was her second favorite holiday after Halloween. She always liked the idea of a whole new calendar & a whole new set of possibilities. Tonight she just wanted to change the past. She took a drink of champagne out of the red solo cup in front of her. She looked back down at her phone.  
She had no idea what to do.

**January 4, 2019**   
**9:45am**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Tae knocked on Yoongi’s door.

“Yoongi we have to go. We’re going to be late,”

He’d already ignored Jin, Namjoon, & Hobi. Yoongi had always had a soft spot for Tae because they were both from the same region. Hobi may have been his best friend, but Tae was his baby. The one he went out of his way to protect or build up when they were younger. If anyone could get him out of the room, it would be Tae.

“Please Yoongi? I don’t want you to get in trouble,”

He heard shuffling behind the door. Tae was shocked by what he saw when Yoongi opened the door.

His eyes were bloodshot. It looked like he hadn’t changed his clothes in days. His face was puffy from crying. He reeked of alcohol. His hands were shaking. He looked at Tae like he was barely registering what was even going on.

“Guys, a little help,” Tae called down the hall. “We can fix this. We can fix this.” That was mostly to himself. Hobi & Kookie came jogging down the hall. Hobi’s heart dropped straight into his stomach when he saw Yoongi. Kookie let out a squeak.

“Sit him down,” Hobi said. “Get some ice & some juice or something. Anything to hydrate him a little.”

Tae got Yoongi sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Is he...with it?” Kookie asked. Hobi ignored him.

“Yoon, can you hear me?”

“Of course I can hear you,”

“What day is it?”

“Monday,”

“It’s Friday,”

“Why does it even matter?”

“Because you can’t hide in here forever. You still have a job to do. You still have a life to live. I know it hurts, but you have to keep moving. You’ll kill yourself if you keep this up,”

“You don’t know shit about what I’m feeling! You & Jimin fought for, what, a week? And you were still in the same house! You didn’t have to watch him walk away from you in another country knowing that you’d probably never see him again! Don’t you dare tell me that you know it hurts! I’m fine with dying in this room because I don’t have a whole lot to live for right now!”

That hit a nerve.  
“So we aren’t worth living for? Your brothers? You’d kill yourself over a girl you met 3 months ago, but we aren’t worth getting out of bed for? Excuse the hell out of me! Have you forgotten how much shit we’ve been through together? How we dragged ourselves up from nothing? Yet she waltzes into your life & all of a sudden we’re disposable? That isn’t how this is going to work, Yoongi. You know full well that she wouldn’t want you putting her before us. She may have loved you, but she understood where she fit in our lives. If you think anything else, then you’re lying to yourself,” Hobi yelled back.

Yoongi stood up & took a swing at Hobi. He only grazed him because he was still drunk & his vision was blurry. Hobi caught Yoongi’s fist & held it.

“Don’t do this to yourself. You’re better than this,” Hobi told him. “I love you, Yoongi. You’re my best friend.”

“I love you, too, Hobi,”

Yoongi fell into his best friend’s chest & started sobbing. Hobi held onto him & let him cry. Because that’s what best friends did.

**January 6, 2019**   
**2:17am**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Yoongi stared at the pill bottle. Could bottles stare back? He felt like this one was. It was taunting him. His shoulder felt fine. Everything else hurt. It would be okay to take a couple because the rest of his body hurt. Right? He was in pain. That was reasonable. The pills were for pain. Maybe he shouldn’t wash them down with scotch, though. Maybe he should at least get some water instead. That’s what he would do. He’d get some water then take the pills.

“Didn’t know anyone else was up,” Namjoon’s voice made him jump as he walked into the living room.

“Just came to get some water,” Yoongi cleared his throat.

“Finally got dehydrated enough?”

“Something like that,”

“Why aren’t you talking to her? I know she’s still texting you,” Namjoon asked.

“It’s easier this way,”

“To hide in your room & destroy what little liver you have left?”

“What good would it do? It’s not like she can move here. Or I can move there. If I ignore her, maybe she’ll give up,”

Namjoon snorted.

“When has Jac Candler given up on anything ever?”

Yoongi knew he was right. Jac wouldn’t stop until he told her to. He couldn’t make himself tell her to.

“Just something to think about,” Namjoon said.

“Thanks,” Yoongi filled up a glass & walked back to his room. He opened the bottle & took 3 of the pills. He rarely took more than 1. Then he got in bed & prayed he wouldn’t wake up.

**10:10am**

Kookie had been anxious for over a week. Ever since they’d left the US, and Jac, he’d been fighting the urge to have Tae choke him. Like Hobi used to choke him. He’d looked up ways he could possibly do it himself, but the general consensus was the odds of accidentally killing yourself were higher than the success rate.

He went into the bathroom to finish getting ready & when he looked in the mirror, he saw _him_. He tried to focus on what she’d said. Smile at him. Tell him you love him. Move on. As he stared at his reflection, he couldn’t form words. All he could see was the gawky, average, desperate to make something of himself 15 year old kid. So he did the only thing he could think to do.

He punched the mirror.

The sound of glass shattering got everyone’s attention. Tae, naturally, was the first one there.

“Kookie, your hand,”

Kookie looked down & saw he was bleeding.

“We probably need to check for glass fragments,” Jin said. He & Tae led Kookie out of the bathroom & into the living room. Jin helped him clean it up, periodically checking for glass, but fortunately not finding any. He wrapped Kookie’s hand in a towel until he could find actual bandages.

“What happened?” Tae asked, putting his arms around Kookie’s shoulders.

“I couldn’t take it anymore,”

“Take what?”

“The pain,”

Jin came back & wrapped Kookie’s hand.

“I don’t think he’ll need stitches,”

Kookie just hung his head.

“Let’s go back to bed,” Tae helped him up & walked him back down the hall. He took off their shirts & rested Kookie up against his chest so he could hear Tae’s heartbeat

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“I hate myself,” he replied.

“Why? You’re perfect,”

“I’m a fake,”

“How are you fake?” Tae rested his chin on the top of Kookie’s head.

“I’m still that same awkward kid. I just grew up to be good looking,” he said.

“Why should you hate yourself for that? I loved that awkward kid. I may not have realized that I wanted to have sex with you until we were older, but I always loved you. I always loved your smile. I always loved the look you got when you were thinking really hard about something. I always loved how you never bragged about how good you were at everything. We did that. We built you up. Don’t hate yourself for who you were. You’re not a fake. You’re not lying to anyone. You just grew up to be unbearably sexy after you worked that amazing ass off to learn all those things,” Tae rubbed Kookie’s arms.

“You really think that?”

“I know it, baby. I’ll believe it until the day I die,” Tae told him. Kookie sat up & kissed him.

“Thank you,”

“I’m simply telling the truth,”

Kookie kissed him harder.

“Careful with that hand,” Tae said.

“I will be,” he breathed. He got up & straddled Tae, kissing him like his life depended on it. Tae put his hands down the back of Kookie’s pants & hooked his thumbs in the waistband.

“What do you want?” Tae whispered.

“I don’t know. Just you,” Kookie went back to kissing him.

“I’m here, baby,”

Kookie ground his hips into Tae’s.

“You want that? It’ll hurt your hand,”

“We can do that thing we did before that won’t hurt my hand,” Kookie said. “And I can feel you inside me.”

“Then show me,” Tae kissed him.

“Take off my pants,”

Kookie got Tae positioned with his legs crossed & slowly slid down onto his dick. He wrapped his arms around Tae’s shoulders.

“See? My hand is fine,”

“Okay then,” Tae smiled as he slowly ground into Kookie’s ass. He stared at him & Kookie stared back. Kookie started to move with him trying to keep the same pace. They watched each other as they moved like they were trying to find a secret the other one was hiding.

“I love you, baby,” Tae said quietly. “I always will.”

“I love you, too,”

Tae crept one hand up Kookie’s chest & wrapped his fingers around his neck. Kookie gasped & jumped.

“This is what you really want, isn’t it?”

“Yes,”

“Then let me try to give it to you,” Tae ran a finger up the side of Kookie’s neck. He leaned back & moaned. Tae let go of his neck & leaned forward. He kept grinding into Kookie as he put his face into Kookie’s neck. Tae carefully licked the side of his neck to up under his chin.

“Oh god,” Kookie groaned.

“Am I doing it right?”

“Fuck yes, baby,” he put his hand on the back of Tae’s head. Tae kissed his way under Kookie’s chin to the other side of his neck. He licked his way back down to Kookie’s shoulder. Kookie was moaning & squirming underneath him.

“Do it,”

“Are you sure?” Tae asked.

“Do it hard,” he breathed.

“Okay,” Tae bit him as hard as he was comfortable with.

Kookie came. Tae had to hold him down to keep him from jumping off of his cock. He threw back his head & panted in a largely failed effort to stay quiet. When he finished, he curled forward into a heaving, shaking mess.

“Thank you,” he breathed.

“I love you for exactly who you are, baby. Never, ever forget that,” Tae hugged him & kissed the side of his head. Then Kookie started to cry.

**11:25am**

Tae walked in to Jimin & Hobi’s room. Jimin was on the laptop looking intently at the screen. Tae walked up behind Jimin.

“Did it work?” he looked up.

“It worked,” Tae confirmed.

“Good,” the image of Jac said from the screen.

**January 8, 2019**   
**10:31pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Tae leaned back on the couch & scrolled through the pictures from their time in the US. He laughed a little at one taken on Jin’s birthday. It was Jin, Jimin, Jac, & him outside the drag show. Jac called them “The Wives”. At the time, only Jin & Namjoon had been married. Hobi & Jimin got married 9 days later. Had that meant that Jac wanted to marry Yoongi? Or was she being her usual goofy self? If she really wanted to marry Yoongi, she would’ve made more of an effort to come with them. Right? That’s how things worked. In the movies. This wasn’t the movies. This was real life. He scrolled to another picture.

It was Kookie holding Jac on his shoulder like a parrot. It was taken in Chicago. They were bundled up & Jac looked like a bright blue marshmallow in her puffer jacket. They’d gone ice skating after that. Tae could barely stay upright. Jin was the only one worse than him. Jac was practically doing triple axels. She was the female Kookie. She was good at everything.  
He scrolled to one taken in Phoenix right after they met. Tae wasn’t sure why he’d taken the picture. It seemed like a completely random shot of people milling around backstage. Jac was talking to Namjoon & Yoongi was standing in the corner of the shot. If you looked at his face, it was obvious he cared about her. Maybe it was fate that Tae had taken it. Yoongi loved her from the beginning & he was looking at the proof. No wonder he hurt.  
Tae rested his chin on his knees. He missed her, too. He missed having someone else to talk to other than his brothers. He missed her laugh. He missed her rude comments. He missed her hugs. He missed how her accent got thicker when she was tired. He missed her dancing to their music because she made it bad on purpose. He missed everything. He’d talked to her once a couple days ago, but it was almost impossible to coordinate times to talk. They were 16 hours apart. They’d exchanged a few texts. Tae suspected she was trying to let them go slowly. She’d send fewer & fewer messages until she faded out of their lives completely. If that were true, then she should’ve ripped the bandaid off & been done with it.

The last picture he looked at was all of them from their time in Nashville. It was all 8 of them. They’d taken it after they got back from the whiskey tour. They were all holding Jac up sideways. She had her arms flung out & was barely missing Hobi’s face. They were all laughing either because they were drunk or because she’d made them take the picture. He changed it to his lock screen. Now at least he’d always have that memory when he looked at his phone. He furiously wiped away the tears that were running down his face. He hadn’t even realized that he started crying.

“I miss her, too,” Jimin said from the door. Tae looked up, wiping his face on his sleeve.

“Do you think we’ll ever see her again?”

“I don’t know,” Jimin sat next to him.

“I want to,”

“Me too,” Jimin agreed, putting his arm around Tae’s shoulders. Tae rested his head on Jimin’s chest.

“I can hear your heart,” Tae said.

“I do have one,” he smiled. He rubbed Tae’s arm. “Let’s get in the bed.”

“Hobi won’t mind?”

“He weaseled his way into Yoongi’s room for the night. I’m still not sure how he pulled that one off,” Jimin told him.

They got up & went into Hobi & Jimin’s room. Tae nestled himself under Jimin’s chin & Jimin wrapped his arm around Tae’s back.

“Are we going to have sex?” Tae asked.

“That depends. How would Kookie feel about that?”

“He’d want to watch,”

“I’m not going to go get Hobi. Yoongi needs someone to keep an eye on him,” Jimin replied.

“So no,”

“Probably not,” Jimin rubbed his arm. “And self medicating with sex is a thing.”

“Huh?”

“Yoongi drinks & takes pills, you want to have sex outside your relationship, I starve myself, we all hurt ourselves because we hurt & don’t know what else to do,”

Tae picked up his head.

“You’re not…”

Jimin didn’t respond.

“How could you do that? You worked so hard to get better,” Tae sat up.

“Don’t tell Hobi. Please,”

“Of course I’m going to tell him. He’s your husband. He needs to know,”

“I did this to him once. I don’t want to do it to him again,” Jimin looked desperate. Tae’s heart broke for him.

“Jimin, you can't do this to yourself. You worked so hard,” Tae rested his forehead on Jimin’s. Jimin squeezed his eyes closed.

“I can’t stop myself,”

“Then let someone help you. It doesn’t have to be Hobi. I can do it. Don’t torture yourself. Not again,” Tae kissed him. “Let me help you.”

“No one can help me,” he replied.

“You have to let us. Let me, J. Let me in,”

Jimin kissed him back. He slid into Tae’s lap as Tae kissed him harder.

“Please, J,” he whispered. Jimin looked down so he didn’t have to look Tae in the eyes. He felt every ounce of guilt, shame, & self loathing in that moment. He wasn’t willing to tell his husband what he was doing to himself even though that’s part of what marriage was. He’d never fully forgiven himself for what he’d put Hobi through the first time he’d let his eating disorder get out of control. He knew Hobi had done it out of love. He loved Jimin more than anything. Jimin just couldn’t bring himself to admit what he was doing. Again.

“What can you do that he can’t?”

“I don’t know, but let me try? I might come up with something different,” Tae bumped the side of Jimin’s head with his nose. Jimin looked up at him. He looked broken. He looked how Tae felt. Tae kissed him again. Jimin leaned back & pulled Tae on top of him. He put his hands up his shirt & arched his back so their chests touched. Tae held himself up over Jimin.

“I love you,” Tae breathed.

“I love you, too,” Jimin replied. “Make it stop hurting.”

“I’ll do what I can, beautiful,” Tae kissed his neck. He ran his hand down Jimin’s side & hitched up one of his legs. Tae’s hand grazed the curve of his ass. He pulled down Jimin’s pants. Jimin yanked off Tae’s shirt. Tae threw his pants to the side as Jimin balled up his shirt & tossed it somewhere over his shoulder.

“Like last time?”

“Like last time,” Jimin confirmed.

They both groaned when Tae entered Jimin.

“Fuck, I forgot just how good this felt,” Tae gasped. He put a hand on Jimin’s back to steady himself. Jimin was trying to steady his breathing.

“This is perfect,” Jimin breathed.

_Shit. I said that out loud._  
“So perfect,” Tae slowly ran his hand down Jimin’s spine. Jimin moaned. Tae kept going down the curve of Jimin’s ass & down the backs of his thighs. Then he worked his way back. He hadn’t even started thrusting yet. He was just feeling Jimin’s body.

“Are you trying to make me come now?”

“No. I can’t stop touching you, though,” Tae leaned over, resting his chest on Jimin’s back. He brushed his fingers down Jimin’s chest & abs. Jimin groaned & adjusted himself under Tae.

“Getting hot?” Tae asked.

“I’ve been hot,” he replied. Tae kissed his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around Jimin’s chest & started thrusting. Jimin squeaked & squirmed. Tae almost lost his breath. Why wasn’t he fucking Jimin every day? His whole body was tingling. Every nerve was firing & it was driving him crazy.

_Oh right. He’s married & you’re basically married. Well shit._

Jimin moaned & writhed under him. Tae kept hanging onto him.

“Ready?”

“Do it,”

Tae thrust one more time & finished Jimin. Jimin pushing his ass against Tae’s cock made Tae come. Tae put his hand over Jimin’s mouth to keep him quiet. He buried his face in Jimin’s back to stay quiet. Jimin dropped down to his elbows & Tae fell off of him. They collapsed onto their backs on the bed. Tae’s chest was still heaving.

“Feel better?”

“Yes,” Jimin replied.

“Are you going to let me help you?” Tae asked.

“I’ll let you help me,”

“Thank you, beautiful. You can do this. We can do this,” he ran his hand through Jimin’s sweaty hair. Jimin squeezed Tae’s other hand.

“Okay,”

**January 9, 2019**   
**12:15am**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Kookie woke up & realized Tae wasn’t in the bed. He knew he’d sat up a little after Kookie had gone to bed, but he should’ve been in bed by now. Kookie got up & went to the living room. No one was in there. The door to Hobi & Jimin’s room was cracked & the light was on. Kookie carefully pushed it open. Tae was sleeping half on top of Jimin & Jimin was sleeping on his back. They didn’t have shirts on which likely meant they didn’t have pants on either. Kookie didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but he couldn’t help himself.

They’d had sex & hadn’t told him or Hobi. That violated their deal. All 4 of them had to be there. No fooling around behind closed doors. Then he saw the clothes on the floor. Pants included. Kookie wanted to punch something. Tae had only ever gone behind his back once. He figured that was a one off. Sometimes things happen. Tae had been adamant that he didn’t want to leave Kookie. He’d also been clear about not wanting to be Jimin’s side piece. So then what was he looking at?

“Let them sleep,” Jin said.

“I wasn’t going to…” Kookie started. Jin gave him the look.

“Would you want Tae waking you up after an extremely emotional encounter, sexual or otherwise?”

“No,”

“Then go back to bed. You can talk about it with him in the morning,” Jin told him.

“Are we really this fucked up without her?” Kookie looked at Tae & Jimin.

“I think we were always fucked up. She just helped us get better,” Jin replied.

“I miss my big sister,”

“Me too,”

**8:15am**

Tae woke up in Jimin’s arms. They’d had sex again. Without Hobi & Kookie. He’d told Jimin that he loved him. Jimin had said it back. They didn’t love each other like *that*, right? He loved Jac, but he didn’t want to sleep with her. He loved Gucci. He loved Panda Express. He could love Jimin in any of those ways other than an “I want to be your boyfriend” sort of way. That had to be it. That was the only logical conclusion.

_Except you do love him like that, dumbass._

Tae kissed Jimin’s cheek. Jimin mumbled & rolled over.

“I have to go. Kookie’s waiting for me,” Tae murmured.

“Don’t,” Jimin hugged him harder, still half asleep.

“You’re married, remember? Your husband will be back soon to give you some love,” Tae told him.

“I don’t want to be alone,” Jimin said. He started rubbing Tae’s back.

_Fuck._

“You’ll be okay for a little bit. I’m sure Hobi will be back anytime now,” Tae told him. Jimin didn’t reply.

“I can try to go get him,”

Jimin simply grunted.

“Come on, J. Kookie is gonna go ballistic & I’d rather get it over with now,” Tae sighed.

“Fine,”

“And I’ll see if I can get Hobi back in here,” Tae kissed him. Jimin kissed him back & reached a hand between Tae’s legs. He couldn’t stop himself from pushing his crotch into Jimin’s hand.

“Just a little,” Jimin brushed a finger down Tae’s shaft.

“Will you let me leave after?”

“Yes,”

“You promise?”

“Promise,”

“You want to be on top? I don’t really remember the first time you took me,” Tae said.

“Sure, though it probably won’t be as good as the other way around,” Jimin kissed him again & lightly squeezed his crotch.

“We’ll do it anyway. Show me that you love me, beautiful,”

_Shit. I said that out loud._

“Absolutely,” Jimin breathed in Tae’s ear. Tae noticed that Jimin didn’t correct him.

Tae got up on all fours & Jimin got behind him. He ran his whole hand up Tae’s back & sides before entering him. Tae took a sharp breath in.

“Do you not like it?” Jimin asked.

“I fucking love it,” Tae replied. “That was a good sound.”

“Excellent,” Jimin smiled. He began moving in & out & Tae started grunting & twisting.

“Oh god, this…” he couldn’t even finish his sentence.

“Is perfect?” Jimin added.

Tae could only nod. Jimin pushed deeper into him & began grinding his hips into Tae’s ass. Tae gasped. He gripped the sheets into balled fists as he tried to contain the noise. Jimin wrapped his arms around Tae’s lower abdomen & leaned forward.

“Ready?”

Tae gasped & nodded. Jimin gave him a couple hard thrusts.

“Come for me, beautiful,”

Tae dropped down to his elbows & bit the pillow. He pushed himself back onto Jimin’s cock. That finished him. Jimin fell over on Tae’s back & ground into him as he came. Tae’s hips gave out when he finished & he landed with Jimin on his back. They were both still shuddering a little.

“You know I’m not going to leave Hobi, right?” Jimin said.

“I know. You know I’m not going to leave Kookie,”

“I know,”

“So then what are we?” Tae asked. Jimin kissed the back of Tae’s neck.

“I don’t know,”

They lied there for a few minutes, Jimin on Tae’s back, contemplating their relationship.

“Now you can go,” Jimin rolled off of Tae.

“And now I don’t want to,” Tae kissed him.

“Just get it over with,”

“Just get it over with,” Tae heaved a sigh.

**10:25am**

“I thought we had a deal, Tae. One that didn’t include you fucking around behind my back!” Kookie yelled.

“Maybe there was a deal & maybe I decided that it was about damn time you understood what it felt like for your partner to fuck someone else,” Tae snapped back.

“You knew about it. I always told you when I was with them!”

“Did you? Did you really tell me every time you were with one of them? I know for a fact you didn’t because I found out from Hobi later. Welcome to my world, Jungkook. Enjoy your stay!”

“What does Hobi say about all of this? He was the one who wanted to be monogamous then changed his mind,” Kookie said.

“Fuck if I know. That’s between them,” Tae replied.

“After swearing up & down that you love me & you won’t leave me, you go & cheat on me? That doesn’t exactly make me feel better about the situation,”

“THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU, GODDAMMIT!” Tae picked up a pillow & threw it at Kookie. At least he had the presence of mind to pick something soft. It hit Kookie in the face because he was so stunned by Tae yelling.

“We never should’ve built you up! We never should’ve tried to make you better! The Golden Fucking Maknae. You’ve got you head shoved so far up your ass, I’m surprised you can even take a shit! If you stopped for one second to consider someone other than yourself, maybe you’d realize why I’m so pissed off. I have every right to leave you. No one would question that decision if they knew what went on between us. I’ve put up with your bullshit because I thought it would get better. I thought one day it would be over & it would finally just be us. Then I got the chance to sleep with Jimin & I thought ‘Why not? Kookie did it to me plenty of times’. And I liked it. Not just liked it, I loved it. He didn’t have to work that hard to convince me to do it more than once. But you know what I told him? I told him I would never leave you. Not just because he’ll never leave Hobi & we can’t run off together, but because for some insane reason, I love you. Even after everything you’ve put me through, I still love you. Maybe I’m crazy or stupid or some combination of the two, but I love you even though you’ve dragged me through hell. How you feel right now is nothing compared to what you’ve done to me. So you can whine & act like the victim all you want but we both know that you’re far from it. I love you Kookie, but stop being such a douchebag.” Tae was out of breath by the time he finished.

Kookie had no idea how to react. He’d never heard Tae yell, much less yell at him. Hobi yelled. Sometimes he yelled. Tae didn’t yell. He’d already taken a pillow to the face. He was afraid if he got any closer that Tae might actually punch him.

“I...have to go,” he said & left the room.

**10:30am**

Hobi jumped when he heard Tae raise his voice.

“What the hell…?” he looked at Jimin.

“Sounds like he told Kookie about our extracurricular activities,” Jimin replied.

“He’s pissed about that? He has zero rights to that,” Hobi leaned back against the wall & Jimin snuggled under his arm.

“You know how he is, though,”

“That I do,” Hobi agreed. “You’re okay that we’re not monogamous, right? I mean, I know I said I wanted our marriage to be just us. I don’t want you to feel like I pushed you into anything.”

“You didn’t,” Jimin kissed him. “You get to have your way with Kookie, I get Tae, & we still have each other.”

“If I’d known that you were eyeing up Tae, I would’ve suggested something sooner,”

“Well, your antics on Kookie’s birthday may have overshadowed things,” Jimin told him.

“I’m sorry, Jiminie. He’s just so much fun to play with,” Hobi grazed his fingers down Jimin’s bare stomach.

“Like me?” Jimin asked.

“You’re my partner, not my toy,” he kissed him.

“Took you long enough to figure that out,” Jimin pinched him.

“Hey! I got you your own toy, so hush,”

“And it’s a very nice toy. Thank you,”

“You’re welcome,” Hobi grasped Jimin’s cock as he kissed him again.

“I already came once this morning,” Jimin said through the kiss.

“But not from your mean ex-Dom,” Hobi grinned.

“No, not from my mean ex-Dom,” Jimin pushed his hips up against Hobi’s hand.

“That’s my Jiminie,”

“Where’s my Hobi- _hyung_?”

Hobi squeezed his dick.

“Right here,”

“If you insist,” Jimin tickled Hobi’s neck.

“I absolutely insist. I hope you don’t mind taking a shower after this,”

“I probably need one anyway,” Jimin smiled. Hobi straddled Jimin’s thighs.

“Let’s mix it up, shall we?”

“You’re going to make a mess,” Jimin told him.

“That’s what the shower is for,” Hobi kissed him as he started massaging his cock.

“Fine,” Jimin pretended to sound annoyed. Hobi worked his way up his entire length & stopped to massage the bump with his thumb. Jimin tried to squirm, but Hobi had him pinned.

“I may have had ulterior motives with this position,”

“I noticed,” Jimin put his hands on Hobi’s shoulders. Hobi took short strokes on the tip & Jimin dug his fingers into Hobi’s skin.

_God that feels good._

Hobi went back to moving slowly to the background noise of Kookie & Tae’s shouting match.

“Now can I finish you before they stop yelling?” Hobi had his fingers around the tip.

“Can you?”

“Always,” Hobi lightly rubbed the underside as he pulled up & Jimin came. He didn’t bother to be quiet. No one could hear him over the fight. Hobi smiled as he watched his husband try to thrash around, but Hobi had him pinned. Jimin smiled up at him when he finished.

“Thank you mean ex-Dom,”

“You’re welcome BDSM professor,”

Jimin laughed. Hobi gave them a quick wipe down, they grabbed their towels, & headed to the bathroom.

**4:54pm**

Jin walked out onto the balcony. Kookie had been sitting out there for hours. He was bundled up like he was on the frozen tundra. He’d found one of Yoongi’s secret stash out there & had almost finished the bottle.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked.

“No,” Kookie said flatly. Jin sat in the chair next to him.

“We all miss her,”

“What's that got to do with anything?” Kookie asked.

“Because you’d talk to her about it,” he said. Kookie knew he was right. He desperately wanted to talk to Jac about this. She would be honest with him. She’d give him good advice. She’d hug him. She’d make him sleep off the fight. But she wasn’t here. He could text her, but how could he explain all of this in a text? He could call her, but it was midnight her time. He didn’t want to wake her up if she was asleep. He was completely lost. It was a little mind blowing that in only 3 months, he’d become so dependent on her. They’d become so dependent on her.

“I don’t even know what to say,” Kookie sighed.

“Don’t say anything for right now. Let him calm down. He’ll talk when he’s ready,”

“What if he’s never ready?”

“He will be. He’s angry with you right now, but he loves you. He’ll be willing to talk sooner or later,” Jin told him.

“How come you & Namjoon have it so easy? You never have problems,” Kookie sighed.

“The grass is always greener if you bother to water it,” he smiled.

“What does that mean?”

“Relationships take work. Sometimes a lot of work. You have to put in that work if you want your relationship to survive,” he said. “You can only get by on sex highs for so long.”

“Was he right?”

“About what?”

“That I’m a douche,”

“I wouldn’t necessarily put it that way, but you can be self centered & short sighted. You say you love him, but you don’t act like it. I have no doubt that you love him. I doubt your ability to express it in a way that Tae understands it,” Jin told him.

“I tell him I love him all the time,”

“Maybe telling him isn’t the right way to go about it. Maybe you have to show him,”

“How do I do that?” Kookie asked.

“Give him gifts? Do something nice for him? Take him on a real date? Let him make a decision every now & then that doesn’t involve a sex position?” Jin suggested.

“I have no idea how to do any of that,” Kookie’s shoulders slumped.

“I’m sure the internet will give you plenty of ideas,”

“Thanks Jin,”

“Come inside. I’m surprised you haven’t gotten hypothermia already,” he said. Kookie finished off the bottle & followed Jin inside.

**9:07pm**

Kookie started the shower. Even after sitting inside for several hours, he still hadn’t shaken off the chill from being outside. Tae ignoring him hadn’t helped either. He looked down at his hand. It had just started scabbing over from where he’d punched the mirror a few days ago. He looked up in the newly fixed mirror. He was looking back at him. Tae’s voice echoed in his head.

_Golden Fucking Maknae_

He didn’t punch the mirror this time. Instead he took a shard of broken mirror, looked at it for a moment, then slashed it across the front of his thigh.  
_There_ , he thought _I’m not perfect anymore_.

**January 11, 2019**   
**6:58am**   
**Seoul, Korea**

The day had to come eventually. Time didn’t just stop because he wanted it to. Yoongi stared at his phone. The date stared back. January 11.  
Jac’s 28th birthday.

He wasn’t awake because he’d gotten up early. He was awake because he hadn’t gone to sleep. He hadn’t slept in almost 2 days. He hadn’t written. He hadn’t been online. He hadn’t done anything other than drink, take pills, & stare at the wall with periodic covert trips to the bathroom. He opened up his texts. The last message he’d gotten from Jac was 3 days ago.

_Happy National Bubble Bath Day! Do y’all even have a tub?_

He’d looked it up & it was one of those silly holidays that someone made up. Ever since they got back, she’d texted him at least twice a day. Since that message, he hadn’t heard anything. Jac Candler had given up on something. She’d given up on him. Why?

He dropped his phone on the floor & put his head in his hands. He should’ve responded. He should’ve said something, anything, to her. Maybe then she wouldn’t have given up. It was too late now. He couldn’t reply now & apologize for ignoring her for 2 weeks. It was his fault. She’d at least tried to hang onto him & he shoved her away. He angrily wrenched open the pill bottle, put two in his mouth, & washed them down with a hefty swig of whiskey. Who even gave a fuck anymore? He didn’t.

**10:49am**

“Yoongi, please come out. It’s been 2 days,” Tae called through the door. He was getting a little sick of being the one who had to coax Yoongi out of his room. He was the only one who’d had any remote success, though.

“Do we have to be somewhere?” Yoongi yelled back.

“No,” Tae said slowly.

“Then fuck off,”

Tae winced. Yoongi never yelled at him. He definitely never cussed at him.

“Fine. Die in there for all I care,” Tae snapped & went to walk away. He’d gone about 10 steps when he heard the door open. Yoongi peeked out at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. Tae turned around & walked back.

“If you’re not going to come out then can I come in?”

Yoongi opened the door just enough for Tae to squeeze through. The room stank. Tae couldn’t remember a room smelling that bad since all of them shared a room. He tried not to gag. Tae sat on the bed opposite Yoongi’s.

“You need to come out,” he said.

“Why?” Yoongi asked.

“Because you still have to live your life. I miss her, too. Hiding in here won’t fix what you’re feeling,” Tae told him.

“What if I don’t want to fix it?”

“You want to live in your room drinking yourself to death? Really?” he asked.

“What’s the alternative? Drinking myself to death on the couch? Backstage? In rehearsal?”

“Or not drinking yourself to death in the first place,” Tae suggested.

“I don’t want to fix it, Tae. Not right now,” Yoongi told him. Tae sighed. He was beating his head against a brick wall.

“Fine. Whatever. That’s your choice. Just remember that your actions don’t only affect you,” Tae got up.

“I know,”

“This doesn’t mean I’m going to stop knocking,” he told him.

“I know,”

“I love you, Yoon,”

“I love you too, Tae,”

Once Tae left & Yoongi closed the door, he looked at the bottles on his bedside table. He had a decision to make.

_Remember your actions don’t only affect you._

He took the pills anyway.

**1:12pm**

Hobi noticed it was oddly quiet from Yoongi’s room. Usually he could at least hear him rustling around. He didn’t hear anything.

“Yoon? You okay in there?” he knocked.

No noise.

“Yoon?”

Still nothing.

“Yoongi!”

Hobi stepped back & kicked the door. It went flying open & slammed into the wall. Yoongi was unconscious on the floor with a bottle of whiskey on his desk & an empty bottle of pills next to it.

“Oh shit,” Hobi ran in & skidded to his knees. He started shaking Yoongi. “Come on, wake up.”

Jimin came in behind Hobi with Jin & Namjoon on his heels.

“Turn him on his side & open his mouth,” Jimin told Hobi.

“What?”

“Just do it!”

Hobi rolled Yoongi over & held his mouth open. Jimin stuck his finger in Yoongi’s mouth & Yoongi started coughing. Then he threw up.

“One more time,” Jimin said. Hobi was struggling to stifle his own gag reflex. Jimin stuck his finger down Yoongi’s throat again & he threw up again. Hobi held him almost face down to keep him from aspirating. Yoongi kept coughing & looked up at them. Jimin was examining what Yoongi had thrown up.

_I think I might puke_ Hobi thought.

Jin & Namjoon supported Yoongi under either arm.

“Looks like you hadn’t totally digested them yet,” Jimin said.

“How’d you do that?” Yoongi looked at Jimin.

“Recovering bulimic, remember?” he replied.

“You should’ve let me die,”

“Sorry, no can do,” Hobi told him.

Jin & Namjoon helped Yoongi back up on the bed. He leaned his head back against the wall. He coughed some more. Hobi put a trash can next to him. He looked at the others.

“Can you give us a minute?”

“Sure,” they all looked at Yoongi as they left. Hobi sat on the bed next to him.

“Do you have any clue how bad I want to hit you right now?” Hobi said.

“I could guess,”

“But I’m not going to because you’re doing an awesome job of hurting yourself,” he told him.

“Thanks,”

“You’re my best friend, Yoongi. You’ve been with me through everything with Jimin. You’re the one person I can trust to be honest with me. In another life, I might have married you. Please let me help you. If nothing else, please let me try. I can’t sit here & watch you die. I did that once with Jimin. I don’t ever want to go through that again. I’m a selfish bastard. I want the people I love alive,” Hobi looked at his friend.

“I don’t know what to do,” he said quietly.

“For starters, don’t mix pills & booze,” Hobi said.

“She gave up on me, Hobi. She never gave up on anything before. She gave up on me,” he sniffed.

“You don’t know that for sure,” Hobi replied.

“She hasn’t texted me for 3 days. She’s texted me every day since we left,” he hung his head.

“It could be anything. You don’t know what’s going on in her life,”

“It’s her birthday,” Yoongi wiped his eyes.

“So tell her happy birthday,” Hobi told him.

“I’ve ignored her for almost 2 weeks. I can’t just text her out of the blue & tell her happy birthday,”

“Why not?”

“She’ll ignore me the way I ignored her,”

“You won’t know until you try,” Hobi said.

“I just can’t, Hobi,”

“Okay, I’m not going to force you,”

“Thanks,”

They sat there in silence for a few minutes.

“I feel like I should spoon you or something,” Hobi laughed a little.

“I’m good,”

“You could be big spoon if you wanted,”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’ll pass,” Yoongi smiled.

“Well, I’m your roommate until further notice. Jimin will understand,” Hobi told him.

“I’m not going to win that fight am I?”

“Nope,”

“Thanks Hobi,”

“For what?”

“Giving a shit,”

“You’re the first one I ever gave a shit about. Don’t tell my husband,” Hobi patted Yoongi’s shoulder. “Get some sleep.”

“I can’t sleep,”

“Just try. I’ll be over here watching porn,” Hobi smiled.

“Fine,”

**2:27pm**

Jimin came back with a bucket & some rags to clean up the vomit on the floor. It was his fault after all. The door was still off its hinges. He had no idea who was going to fix that. None of them were particularly handy. They’d probably prop it closed until they figured something out.

Yoongi was actually asleep when Jimin came back in. Hobi was sitting on the other bed watching him. Hobi got off the bed & went to help Jimin clean up.

“When did he fall asleep?” Jimin asked.

“Ten minutes? He fought me on it,”

“Of course he did,” Jimin scrubbed the carpet.

“What do we tell her?”

“I have no idea. I told him to text her & tell her happy birthday. He said it was too late,” Hobi wrung out one of the rags in the bucket.

“We can’t tell her that he tried to kill himself. Not immediately. She’d blame herself,” Jimin sighed.

“But we will tell her,” Hobi said.

“Yes, we’ll tell her,” Jimin confirmed. He tossed the rag in the bucket when he was satisfied that the floor was as clean as it was going to get.

“I’m going to stay in here for a little while,” Hobi said. Jimin kissed him.

“You’re a good friend Hobi,”

“I try,” Hobi looked over at Yoongi.

“He’s lucky to have you,” Jimin got up & took the bucket with him.

“I’m the lucky one,” Hobi said quietly.

**9:59pm**

Yoongi rolled over & opened his eyes. Hobi was sitting on the other bed with his laptop on his lap. He looked over when he heard Yoongi move.

“Morning Sunshine. Or should I say night?” he smiled. It wasn’t his usual smile. It was sad. And scared.

“How long have I been asleep?” he asked.

“About 8 hours,”

“And you’ve been sitting here the whole time?”

“Jimin gave me a break for about half an hour, but otherwise I’ve been here,” Hobi said.

“Why?” Yoongi asked.

“Because I didn’t want you to wake up alone,” he replied. Yoongi considered what Hobi said. He’d felt painfully alone since they got back. He wasn’t alone. He had his brothers. The gaping hole in his chest was still there, but he wasn’t alone. Dying wasn’t the answer, but living was excruciating. They cared about his pain. They couldn’t fix it. They couldn’t ease it. But they cared that he hurt in the first place.

“Can you...do something for me?” Yoongi asked.

“Sure,” Hobi said.

“Would you...sleep in the bed with me?” Yoongi had to swallow what little pride he had left to ask that question. Hobi got up & moved over to Yoongi’s bed.

“Big Spoon or Little Spoon?” he grinned.

“Whatever,” Yoongi said quietly.

“This is an old standby for Jimin & Tae,” Hobi said. He lied on his back, put Yoongi’s right arm over his chest, & rested his chin on top of Yoongi’s head. “Tae swears it’s extra restful because he can hear Jimin’s heart or something.”

“You don’t have a heart,” Yoongi said. Hobi laughed.

“I love you too, jackass,”

Tae was onto something. He could hear Hobi’s heart clearly. Hobi patted his best friend’s arm.

“Go back to sleep, Yoon. I’m right here,”

“Don’t you dare tell anyone,”

“I’ll take this one to my grave. Not even Jimin will know,”

“Thanks,” Yoongi squeezed Hobi.

**10:30pm**

Jimin went back to Yoongi’s room to see if Hobi needed another break. He saw them squeezed into Yoongi’s twin bed. Hobi was sleeping on his back & Yoongi was cuddled up under Hobi’s chin. Jimin smiled.

“Sleep well my loves,”

He propped the door closed & walked back down the hall.

**January 14, 2019**   
**9:20pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Jimin coughed & leaned back against the wall. He was down to just throwing up stomach acid at this point. His throat burned. His eyes were watering from getting some of it up his nose. He tried to catch his breath. This was the worst night of purging he’d had in years. Yoongi’s suicide attempt had been weighing on him for days. Hobi had been sleeping in Yoongi’s room since then. He’d pretty much been on suicide watch. Tae & Kookie hadn’t made up. Kookie was sleeping on the couch & Tae was in their room. Jimin had slept alone for 3 nights. All the tension pushed him over the edge. He’d gone from simple restricting to full on purging. He wasn’t sure that he could handle another night alone.

He turned off the shower, an old trick he’d learned to hide the vomiting sounds, & got up. He almost fell because he was so lightheaded. He could make it down the hall. He was determined to. He used the wall for support as he stumbled to Tae & Kookie’s room. The door was open & Tae was on his phone. Jimin’s shoulder hit the doorframe & that got Tae’s attention.

“J, what’s going on?”

“I need help,” he managed to cough out. Tae jumped up & put Jimin’s arm over his shoulders.

“Come on. Lie down,”

Jimin fell on the bed like a rag doll. Tae got in bed next to him & pulled him up on his chest.

“Why are you all sweaty?”

All Jimin could do was breathe hard.

“Were you purging?” Tae asked. Jimin nodded.

“What can I do for you?”

“Stay,”

“I can do that. I’m right here, beautiful,” Tae kissed the top of his head & gave him a squeeze. “Here, let’s get you a little more comfortable.”

Tae took off Jimin’s shirt & wiped off his face a little. He still hadn’t completely caught his breath. He grabbed Tae’s hand.

“Don’t tell Hobi,”

“I won’t, but you need to tell him sooner or later,” Tae kissed him. “He loves you. He knows better how to help you than I do.”

“You love me,” he said.

“I do,” Tae smiled.

“I love you,” Jimin replied.

_So it was true._

“In another life, maybe I would’ve been with you,” Jimin smiled weakly.

“In another life, I might have been a turnip. That’s your hours of purging talking. Go to sleep, beautiful. I’ll be here when you wake up,”

_That’s what Jac would say. Right?_

Tae took off his shirt & pulled Jimin into his chest.

“Sweet dreams, J,” he whispered.

“Sweet dreams, TaeTae,” Jimin whispered back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I don’t normally have notes, but I wanted to add them this time. January was very difficult for me to write. I’ve suffered from anxiety & depression since puberty (I’m in my mid-30s now. No shame in admitting I write slash fanfic as a grownass woman). This story started out as something silly & stupid, but rapidly became my escape from a very, very low point in my life. I related very closely to Yoongi & Kookie’s pain of abruptly losing a loved one, Jimin’s eating disorder, & how mental illness can take a toll on a relationship. That said -  
> What Hobi said to Yoongi is something that I firmly believe is true. There’s more than one person worth living for. I lived not only for my husband, but my mom, sisters, & friends. The boys themselves said you never walk alone. If you can’t walk, crawl. If you can’t crawl, yell & someone will come pick you up. Asking for help is never weakness. Asking someone to help you find a light switch in a dark room isn’t failure. It’s practical.  
> While these 2 chapters were difficult to write & I’m sure difficult to read, I felt they needed to be put out into the world. May you always find light in darkness, dear readers. Even if it’s only a flicker.


	12. Mid / Late January

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background Music (if you’re so inclined):  
> “Fake Love” BTS  
> “You Belong With Me” Taylor Swift (original) / Butch Walker (cover)  
> “Fighter” Christina Aguilera  
> “Kings & Queens” 30 Seconds to Mars
> 
> Content Warning: This chapter contains drug & alcohol abuse & self harm.

**January 16, 2019**  
**2:47pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Yoongi waited until Hobi went to the bathroom. He’d hidden a stash of some of his older, allegedly expired pills in the nightstand. He took 3 & quickly hid the bottle again before Hobi got back. Jimin hadn’t offered to come in to give Hobi a break, which was odd, but Yoongi couldn’t be bothered to care.

He heard the door open & Jin came in.

“Hi,” Yoongi said, a little surprised.

“Hobi needed a break, so I offered,”

“Nice of you,” he replied. Jin sat on the other bed.

“What’s on your mind?”

“That’s kind of a big question,” Yoongi said.

“I already know Jac is the big answer. What little things are going on? What’s making you do this?”

“She gave up on me,”

“What do you mean?”

“She stopped texting me on the 8th. Before that it was at least 2 texts a day. I haven’t heard anything from her since. Why’d she give up? Was it because I refused to respond? Did she move on that fast?

What happened?” Yoongi explained.

Jin knew the answer, but he couldn’t tell him.

“You know she has a reason for everything. It wasn’t because she moved on or stopped loving you. She gave you something that meant a lot to her, didn’t she?”

Yoongi had been sleeping with the earrings under his pillow since he found them. The paper of the note she’d written was going soft from how many times he’d read it. It hadn’t even been 3 weeks.

“Yeah,”

“Would she really have given you something that important if she’d intended to give up on you so quickly?”

“Probably not,” Yoongi conceded.

“You can always text her, you know,” he said.

“It’s too late,”

“It’s only too late when you’re dead & we’ve already brought you back once,” Jin replied.

“I’m not sure I’ve forgiven you for that yet,” Yoongi looked down at his hands.

“You will,” Jin said. “You will.”

**3:10pm**

Hobi walked back into their room after taking the first shower he’d gotten in 2 days. Jimin had only come to give him a break once. Finally, Jin had noticed & offered to give Hobi a break. He was grateful to shower & nap in his own bed for a little while. Jimin was also in the bed facing away from the door. He rarely napped unless he was sick or…

He got in bed behind Jimin. He kissed the space between his ear & his jaw.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Jiminie,”

“Everything,” he whispered. Hobi could hear him trying not to cry .

“It can’t be everything. You still have your mean ex-Dom & the nice toy I got you. I assume,” he could feel how cold & clammy Jimin’s skin was. He’d probably heard Hobi coming to take a shower & had to stop purging.

“He’s got a name & I love him,” Jimin replied.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I assume you still have Tae, too,”

“Yes,”

“You love him?”

“Yes,”

“Like you love me?”

“Yes,”

“More than me?”

“No. I’ll never love anyone more than you, Hobi-hyung. I’ve needed you, but you’ve been taking care of Yoongi. He needs you more than I need you. Tae has been doing his best, but…”

“We’ve done this before,”

Jimin nodded & started to cry.

“I didn’t want you to go through it again. Not when you have to take care of Yoongi,” he sobbed. Hobi hugged him harder.

“I promised to love you & take care of you in front of Jac & everybody. Yes, I want to take care of Yoongi, but you’re my husband. You always, always come first. Never be afraid to tell me you’re hurting. We survived this once. We can do it again. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything in this world, Jiminie. Never be afraid to tell me something. I’m here to be your partner, through the good & the bad. Okay?”

Jimin nodded again & Hobi pulled him as close to his chest as he could get him.

“You’re my life, Jiminie. Never forget that,”

“And you’re mine, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

**4:45pm**

Tae snapped the lid to his laptop closed. It was Day 7 of his fight with Kookie. He’d been sleeping, as in sharing a bed, with Jimin for the past 2 nights. He hadn’t been able to get him to stop purging. That only got Tae frustrated with himself. He’d told Jimin he’d help him & nothing had changed so far. The purging made him too weak to do anything other than lie down or sleep for hours. All Tae could do was hold him & hope that Jimin could hear him when he told him how beautiful he was & how much he loved him. This was on top of the fact that Kookie hadn’t apologized or made any effort to do so. Tae knew he had the (somewhat) moral high ground on this & he wasn’t going to apologize for telling the truth. Now he was stuck waiting for Kookie to get his head out of his ass. Which might be never. He put his head in his hands & sighed. He should go check on Jimin. He hadn’t seen him since this morning & there was a good chance that he’d purged since then.

As he went into the hall, he almost crashed headlong into Kookie.

“Hi,” Kookie said awkwardly.

“I have somewhere to be,” Tae said.

“Can it wait a minute? I...got you something,” he said.

“Like a present?”

Kookie nodded.

“Sure,” Tae turned around & walked back to their room.

“It might be something you already have because I didn’t really get a chance to look that hard in your closet, but I thought you’d like it,” Kookie held out a small bag. Tae took it & pulled out a Gucci bandanna like the one he already had. This one was black & silver instead of white & red.

“They told me it was a limited edition, so I thought even if you had it that you might want two of them just in case,” he explained. Tae was speechless. Kookie never seemed to notice anything. His Gucci bandanna was one of the first high end items he’d ever bought & the one he loved the best. The fact that Kookie had taken the time to find another one for him showed that he actually had been paying attention. Or at least had the sense to ask someone who did.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it. Thank you,” Tae kissed him. He was trying not to cry.

“Oh good,” Kookie was relieved. Tae carefully put the bandanna back in the bag & put it on the desk.

“I’m so sorry, baby. If you want to be with Jimin, then do it. I want you to be happy. I really, truly do,” Kookie told him.

“I love you to the ends of the earth, Kookie. You & Jimin will just have to decide what days you get me,” he winked.

“Really?”

“I love him, but I love you more. I must be crazy & stupid because I never want to live without you,” Tae kissed him again. Kookie picked him up & dropped him on the bed.

“I love you too, baby. I love you, too,”

Tae unbuttoned Kookie’s shirt as he kissed him. Kookie pushed down Tae’s sweatpants. Tae didn’t hold back when he kissed Kookie. Kookie didn’t flinch. He pulled off Tae’s shirt & put his hands in Tae’s hair as he hungrily kissed him.

“I missed this,”

“So did I,” Tae wrapped his arms around Kookie’s shoulders. “You still have your pants on.”

“Oops,” Kookie took off his pants & tossed them across the room. “Better?”

“Much,” Tae smiled. “Now fuck me like you know you want to.”

“You sure?”

“Is water wet?”

“Then show me that ass I’ve missed so much this week,” Kookie kissed his neck.

“Yes sir,” Tae whispered. Kookie got goosebumps. Tae grinned as he rolled over. Kookie lightly ran his hand up the back of Tae’s thigh, then smacked him. Tae moaned & swayed his back.

“Giving me an easier target?”

“Maybe,” he smiled coyly. Kookie did the same thing on the other side.

“Do you want to spank me?” Tae asked. Kookie carefully considered his answer.

“Yes,”

“Then do it. Sir,”

Kookie hit him again. Tae groaned again. Whatever he’d done with Jimin had turned him into a different person in the bedroom. Kookie made a mental note to send Jimin flowers or a thank you note.

“My hand is getting tired, but I’m pretty sure my cock is just getting warmed up,” he leaned over.

“Better get going then,” Tae replied. Kookie grabbed Tae’s hips & thrust into him. Tae grunted & pitched forward a little. Kookie had a brief moment of panic.

_What if I hurt him?_

“Is that all you’ve got after a week?” Tae said.

“You sassy bitch,”

“You love it,”

“I do,” Kookie grabbed Tae’s shoulders & started pounding him. Tae twisted & moaned under him. While Jimin may have been a truly perfect fit & a transcendent experience, Kookie was his first love.

Kookie knew parts of him that no one else could ever find. Kookie knew _him_.

“Fuck, baby. I missed this so fucking much,” he breathed.

“So did I,” Kookie said between thrusts. “Now come for me, baby.”

Tae shoved his ass down Kookie’s on cock as he came. He threw his head back & screamed like he hadn’t in months. He could barely breathe. He didn’t give a fuck who heard him. He had the love of his life back & he’d just fucked him like he needed to be fucked.

Kookie came when Tae took his entire dick in his ass. He put one hand on Tae’s back to steady himself & the other one on his calf. He was pretty sure he was screaming every obscenity he knew, but he couldn’t actually hear himself. He was too focused on the feeling of sheer euphoria pulsing through his entire body. He knew in his core that he would never love anyone the way he loved Tae. He cared for Jimin & Hobi. He would never care about them the way he cared about the boy he was with right now who loved him in spite of everything he wasn’t.

**January 20, 2019**  
**5:37pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

This was was their fifth major awards show & the first in Asia. It was also the first one without Jac. She wouldn’t have been able to come anyway. It was in Korea. Who needed a translator in Korea? That wasn’t the point. She wasn’t bustling around yelling about not being put in clown suits or mismatched jackets & pants. Hobi wasn’t teasing her about wearing too many sequins. She wasn’t reminding them to not grope each other & swatting at Kookie’s hand when he’d antagonize her by grabbing Tae. The house was eerily silent. Instead of being excited that they’d been nominated for 7 awards including the Grand Prize, they all felt like they were getting ready for their execution.

Yoongi had taken a handful of pills right before they left. Jimin had spent half an hour in the bathroom throwing up what little he had in his stomach. Kookie had three fresh cuts on his legs. Hobi hid a flask in his jacket. He & Tae kept passing it back & forth. Jin & Namjoon were simply trying to keep it together.

“I don’t know how we’re going to do this,” Namjoon said to Jin before they left. “Yoongi is stoned, Hobi & Tae are drunk, Jimin can barely stand up, & Kookie is going to bleed through his pants.”

“We have to. She’d want us to,” Jin replied.

“She’d be furious if she knew what we’d done to ourselves,” Namjoon sighed.

“What are we going to do? Not show up? We don’t have a choice,”

“This is going to be a disaster,”

“It already is a disaster,” Jin ground his teeth. Namjoon sighed.

“Fine. We’ll just have to pray we don’t fuck it up too much,”

“God is about the only thing that can save us right now,” Jin said.

**11:15pm**

Kookie winced as he took off his pants. They’d stuck to the cuts that had started to bleed during their performance. He’d successfully hidden the older ones from Tae. He wouldn’t be able to hide these. One of them was particularly deep. He’d practically stabbed himself.

“Shower’s free,” Tae came back in, toweling off his hair.

“Okay,” Kookie hissed.

“Are you okay?”

Kookie shook his head. He showed Tae his legs.

“What happened?”

“I did it to myself. After I broke the mirror, I found a piece of it. I kept it & I’ve been cutting myself. I don’t know why. I just have,” he had trouble catching his breath as he put pressure on the worst of the three.

“Baby, you don’t need to hurt yourself,”

“Why not?”

“The same reason Jimin doesn’t need to hurt himself. It won’t help. You know that,” Tae told him.

“I don’t know what else to do,” Kookie said.

“We’ll figure something out. Let’s get you patched up & we’ll go to bed,”

“Okay,” Kookie hugged him.

“I miss her, too,”

Kookie just cried into Tae’s shoulder. Words weren’t enough to express the pain. They never would be.

**January 20, 2019**  
**2am**  
**Los Angeles, California**

Jac watched as they stepped out on the red carpet. Namjoon forced a smile & waved. Jin was scowling. It looked like he was trying to look cool & failing. She knew he was exhausted & frustrated. Kookie & Tae were next. Kookie was walking gingerly. What had he done to himself? Tae was staring blankly. He looked over at the cameras & gave a slight nod. He’d been drinking. Yoongi, Hobi, & Jimin brought up the rear. Hobi had strategically placed himself between Jimin & the cameras. He smiled & waved. Jimin had lost weight. Hobi was hiding it. Yoongi didn’t smile, wave, or even look at anything other than Hobi’s back in front of him.

When they all lined up for group photos, she saw the full extent of the damage. Namjoon & Hobi were trying to distract from the others. Kookie kept shifting from foot to foot like his knees were bothering him. Jimin had lost at least 5 pounds. Maybe more. Tae wasn’t focused on anything in particular. Jin was still scowling. Yoongi’s eyes looked dead. It was the only way to describe it.

“No,” was all she could manage. She stifled a sob. Then she picked up her phone.

“Daddy, I need your help,”

**January 22, 2019**  
**5:39pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Hobi sat out on the balcony by himself. He looked over the empty chair next to him. Yoongi’s chair. He was still refusing to leave his room. Jin was giving Hobi a break. Jimin was sleeping & Hobi had felt okay leaving him alone for a little while. Tae knew what to listen for. Hobi took a sip of his drink & stared out at the skyline. How the hell had everything gone so far off the rails? They’d been somewhat okay until Yoongi tried to kill himself. Then things had gone to shit. It only took a pebble to start an avalanche.

Jimin had confessed to being in love with Tae. Tae & Kookie had a knock down drag out fight over Tae & Jimin sleeping together without Kookie knowing. Hobi knew better than to get upset. If Jimin & Tae wanted to fuck each other without him around, they had every right. After all, hadn’t Hobi fucked around with Tae & Kookie essentially without Jimin’s permission? He knew Jimin would never leave him. He would never leave Jimin. There was nothing saying you could only ever love one person in your life. He did, but Jimin had always been more willing to give of himself. It was who he was & one of the reasons Hobi loved him. Now he was lying in bed fighting the urge to slowly kill himself.

“I love you, Yoon, but go fuck yourself,” Hobi lit a cigarette. He almost never smoked. The smell of cigarettes reminded him of their conversations on the balcony. Before the tour, before their love trapezoid, before her. He took out his phone.

Hobi: _Call me when you get this._

Thirty seconds later his phone rang.

**January 25, 2019**  
**6:45am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Tae was sweating under the heavy comforter. He’d caught Jimin purging & brought him back to bed. He’d lost almost 10 pounds in 2 weeks. The sudden weight loss & stress on his body meant he was almost constantly cold, clammy, or sweaty. Jin had found the heaviest comforter they had & put it on Tae & Kookie’s bed. Their room was always the hottest for some unknown reason, so they kept him in there to keep him as warm as possible. Tae was holding him & sweating like he was standing in the sun in the middle of July. And that was without a shirt on.

“Talk to me, beautiful. Tell me what hurts,” he said.

“It all hurts,” Jimin replied.

“Do you miss Hobi?”

Jimin nodded.

“Do you miss Jac?”

He nodded.

“Tell me what I can do,” he pushed himself up & brushed the sweaty hair off Jimin’s forehead. Jimin slowly reached up & put his hand on Tae’s cheek.

“Kiss me,”

“You’re not strong enough…” Tae started.

“Please,”

“Okay,” Tae leaned down & lightly kissed him. Jimin kissed him back with all the energy he had.

“You need to rest, J. Your body can’t handle this,” Tae told him.

“One more?”

“One more,” Tae kissed him again. Jimin tried to reach his arms around Tae’s shoulders, but couldn’t quite get them high enough. Tae helped him & Jimin rested his arms on his shoulders.

“I love you,” Jimin whispered.

“I love you, too,” Tae whispered back. Jimin kissed him weakly like he’d exerted all the energy he had for the day in those moments.

“Go to sleep, beautiful. If I’m not here when you wake up, Hobi will be. You won’t be alone. I promise,” Tae told him.

“Thank you,” Jimin said.

“Always,” Tae kissed him one more time & then settled back behind him.

**9am**

Hobi & Tae met each other outside the door of Tae & Kookie’s room. Jin had once again offered to relieve Hobi for a little while so he could see Jimin.

“How is he?” Hobi asked.

“Asleep right now. He hasn’t tried to get up, but I’ve been too afraid to get up & try to get something for him to eat without someone else here. He doesn’t have much energy, but I don’t know how determined he is,” Tae told him.

“If he hasn’t eaten in a while then he won’t bother. You have to really watch him after he’s eaten,” Hobi looked at the lump in the bed.

“Should I get something for him?”

“I’ll get something for him later & if he doesn’t wake up before I leave then you can try. If he does eat, then don’t trust him if he says he has to get up. If he says he has to use the bathroom, tell him you’re going with him & stand outside the door. I caught him mid purge a lot that way,” Hobi sighed.

“Why did he finally stop last time?”

“Honestly I don’t know. He never told me & I never asked,”

Tae’s shoulders slumped. He was hoping Hobi had a trick he could use that would help. It looked like they were just as screwed this time.

“Well, go spend some time with him. I’ll try & find something he might eat,”

“Thanks. I know how y’all feel about each other & I appreciate what you’re doing for him,” Hobi put his hand on Tae’s shoulder.

“Did you just say ‘y’all’?”

“I guess I did,” Hobi laughed.

“You’re not mad? About how we feel about each other?”

“What am I gonna do? Tell you to stop caring about him? I’ve only ever loved him & I probably only ever will love him. If he loves me & someone else, well, I’m okay sharing him with you,” Hobi said.

“I...wow...I don’t know what to say,” Tae couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.

“Say you’ll love him & you’ll take care of him. Say you’ll help him,” Hobi was fighting back tears.

“Absolutely. I’ll do anything for him. Whatever you need me to do,” Tae replied.

“Thank you. I’m sorry I was such an asshole to you before. He says I’m not very good with words,” Hobi hugged him.

“You’re not, but you’re trying. I guess that’s all anyone can really ask,” Tae hugged him back.

“Just please don’t let him die,” Hobi sniffed.

“I won’t. Go see him. I know he needs you more than me in the grand scheme of things,”

“You’re a good man, Kim Taehyung,”

“You too, Jung Hoseok,” Tae patted Hobi’s back & Hobi let go. He wiped his eyes & pulled himself together as Tae walked down the hall to find something for Jimin to eat.

**11:28am**

Tae came back in the room & saw that Jimin was awake. Hobi had himself propped up on one elbow looking down at Jimin. They were smiling at each other. They were weak, sad smiles, but they were there. He couldn’t help but think that’s what true love looked like. If someone walked in on him in the same position, would they see the same thing? Or would they see raw passion? Even he wasn’t sure. What he did know for sure is that Jimin would never look at him that way even if they were together until the day they died. He’d come to terms with that. Mostly.

“Time for musical chairs. Unless you’re not ready,” Tae knocked lightly on the doorframe.

“I told Jin I’d be back in an hour. That was an hour & a half ago,” Hobi didn’t take his eyes off Jimin.

“Okay,” Jimin said.

“Tae is going to take good care of you. I’ll be back soon,” Hobi kissed him. “I love you so much Jiminie.”

“I love you, too Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

Hobi kissed him one more time, grudgingly got out of bed, & put his shirt back on.

“He ate about half an hour ago,” Hobi said under his breath as he walked past Tae.

“Got it,”

Tae took off his shirt & got in bed.

“Hey, beautiful,” he smiled. “Feeling any better?”

“A bit,”

“Husband time perk you up a little?”

Jimin nodded.

“He said you ate a little bit, too,”

Jimin nodded again.

“You have to keep it down. I know you don’t want to, but you have to,” Tae told him. He brushed his fingers up the side of Jimin’s face. He leaned down & lightly kissed him. “Don’t leave me, J. It’s not time yet.”

“I don’t want to,” Jimin replied.

“You will if you keep making yourself sick. What would the world be without you? I know I don’t want to live in a world without you. Your smile, your kindness, your talent, the amazing sex,” he grinned. Jimin smiled back at him.

“I wish,”

“Once you get better, I’m telling Hobi that I’m stealing you for a week so we can have hours & hours of amazing sex,” Tae kissed him again. “But you have to get better first.”

“What about Kookie?” Jimin asked.

“Let me worry about that,” Tae replied. “All you need to think about is getting better so we can have our week together.”

“You sure Hobi would go for that?”

“Hobi & I had a mature discussion about the whole situation & he’s fine with sharing,” Tae ran his fingers through Jimin’s sweaty hair. He was still cold to the touch. “Let me warm you up.”  
Tae cuddled up behind Jimin & wrapped his arms around his waist. Jimin took one of Tae’s hands & put it down his pants.

“J, you can’t even get out of bed,” Tae said. Jimin held his hand there.

“Please?”

“Then what? You go back to sleep in a wet spot?” Tae found himself running his finger down Jimin’s cock nonetheless.

“Towel,” Jimin said.

“Fine, but if you get out of this bed while I’m up getting a towel then you’re not getting anything,”

“I won’t,”

Tae got up & got a towel. He draped it on the bed in front of Jimin. He got back in bed behind Jimin & pushed down his pajama pants. Jimin was already hard.

“How can you be this sick & still want this?” Tae asked.

“I want you,” Jimin replied.

“I have one more condition,” Tae said as he ran a hand down Jimin’s side & over to his cock.

“What?”

“No purging for the rest of the day. Then I’ll give you what you want,” he kissed Jimin’s ear as he slowly wrapped his fingers around his dick.

“Okay,” Jimin said slowly like he wasn’t sure he was telling the truth.

“It’s up to you, beautiful,” Tae whispered. He felt Jimin’s breathing change.

“I won’t purge,” he said.

“Remember I’m trusting you. And I’m telling Hobi, too,” Tae lightly stroked Jimin. Jimin nodded. Tae kissed under Jimin’s jaw. He started with the ripple motion down his dick. Jimin gasped. Tae tightened his grip around Jimin’s chest. He slowly rubbed the bump under the tip.

“Oh god,” Jimin breathed. Tae kissed his neck & moved back to the ripple motion up & down his cock. He let go & ran one finger slowly up the underside, stopping right below the tip. Jimin pushed his hips toward Tae’s hand. It took almost all the energy he had.

“I won’t make you wait anymore, beautiful. Just remember your promise,” Tae held onto him harder, gave a few strong strokes, & Jimin came. He wasn’t strong enough to make noise. He just shuddered against Tae’s body. Tae couldn’t decide how he felt about it. He loved making Jimin come. He loved knowing he could do that for him. However, he was too weak to do anything other than shake in Tae’s arms. Maybe he shouldn’t have done it. Maybe he should’ve told him no. But then what? The orgasm would definitely put him back to sleep. He couldn’t purge if he was asleep.

“I love you,” Jimin breathed. Tae wiped his hand off on the towel.

“I love you too, beautiful,” he put both arms around Jimin’s chest. “Have good dreams.”

“I will,” he yawned.

“Good,” Tae kissed him & pulled up the covers.

**5:45pm**

Hobi came into the room carrying a mug of soup that he thought Jimin might eat. They were awake. Tae was on his stomach, propped up on his elbows looking down at Jimin. They were smiling at each other. The smiles were obviously forced. The way they were looking at each other was unmistakable. They loved each other. Another man might have been jealous seeing someone look at his husband like that. And his husband looking back at him the same way. If loving each other meant Jimin stayed alive, then Hobi would accept anything.

“Dinner,” Hobi said. They looked over.

“Remember your promise,” Tae told him.

“I will,” Jimin replied.

“I love you, beautiful,” Tae kissed him.

“I love you, too,”

Tae got up, put his shirt back on, & leaned over to Hobi as he was leaving.

“I made him promise not to purge the rest of the day. I’ll let him tell you why,” he said. Hobi nodded.

“I brought you some soup,” he said. “Let’s sit you up.”

He arranged the pillows & blankets so Jimin was sitting up enough that he could eat. Hobi sat next to him & wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

“Jin made it especially for you,” he handed Jimin the mug. He took a sip.

“Tell him thank you,”

“So what was this promise about not purging the rest of the day?”

“I had Tae get me off, but he wouldn’t do it unless I promised not to purge the rest of the day,” he told Hobi.

“Jiminie, you aren’t strong enough for that. You need your energy to heal,” Hobi gave his shoulders a squeeze.

“I wanted it, Hobi- _hyung_. And I’ve kept my promise,” Jimin took another sip of the soup. “He said if I get better then he’s going to steal me from you for a week.”

“When,” Hobi said.

“What?”

“When you get better, Jiminie. Not if,” Hobi told him. “And what did he say he wanted to do with you during that week?”

“What do you think?”

“Learn how to play chess?” Hobi grinned. Jimin smiled a little. “Maybe I’ll keep Kookie & try to beat some sense into him.”

“You know that won’t work,” Jimin rested his head on Hobi’s shoulder.

“It was a thought,” Hobi idly rubbed one of Jimin’s legs. Jimin handed him the empty mug.

“Well look at you, eating twice in one day & no purging. I’m so proud,” Hobi kissed him. Jimin kissed him back.

“Would you really let us be together for a week without you?”

“If he helps keep you alive, I’ll deliver you gift wrapped to him. I’m secure in how you feel about me, Jiminie. I’m not Kookie,” Hobi brushed Jimin’s cheek.

“I’ll always love you first, Hobi-hyung,” Jimin put his hand on top of Hobi’s. He kissed Hobi again & rested his hand on Hobi’s stomach.

“What are you trying to do, Jiminie?”

“I can’t kiss my husband?”

“Depends on if you want something other than kisses,” Hobi replied as Jimin kissed his neck.

“I want you in bed with me tonight,” Jimin breathed.

“Maybe Tae can stay with Yoongi,” Hobi said. Jimin put his hand between Hobi’s legs as he kissed under his jaw.

“Jiminie…” Hobi said.

“I ate,”

“You did,”

“I haven’t purged,”

“You haven’t,”

“I need some Hobi- _hyung_ love,” he buried his face in Hobi’s neck & ran his hand down his thigh.

“And you had Tae love this morning,” It was becoming harder & harder to fight Jimin. He was still weak & tired. Hobi hated feeling bones where he should’ve felt flesh.

“And?”

“I’m going to make you promise me the same thing,” Hobi said. “No purging & I’ll be in the bed with you tonight.”

“I promise,” Jimin replied. He pulled down Hobi’s shorts & pulled off his own pants. Jimin straddled Hobi & kissed him as hard as he could. Hobi held him up under his shoulders.

“I love you so much,” Jimin whispered into Hobi’s shoulder.

“I love you more, Jiminie,” Hobi replied. He barely got the condom on before Jimin slid down on his cock. Jimin ground into Hobi’s lap as he kissed him. He rested his arms on Hobi’s shoulders. Hobi pushed up into Jimin’s ass. Jimin moaned. He wrapped his hands in Hobi’s hair. Hobi ran his hands down Jimin’s back. He supported him up under his hips. Jimin ground into Hobi harder.

“Easy, Jiminie. Don’t wear yourself out,” Hobi said.

“I can’t help myself,” Jimin breathed.

“Let me,” Hobi told him. He put his hand on Jimin’s back, slowly leaned him back, & got on top of him. He brushed Jimin’s hair off his forehead. He slowly moved in & out of him. Jimin squirmed under him & his chest heaved. Hobi could feel how tired he was. He stopped & lowered himself on top of Jimin.

“Jiminie, this is too much for you,”

“I’m fine,”

“You can’t fool your mean ex-Dom. You might fool Tae, but you can’t fool me. I love you. I’m not letting you do this to yourself,” Hobi told him.

“I want my Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

“I know. I want my Jiminie, too. What I want more is for you to save your energy on being able to get out of bed & not just to purge,” Hobi looked down at him. Jimin squeezed his eyes shut. He knew Hobi was right. He knew he needed his energy to fight the voice in his head telling him that the only way to solve his problems was to throw up everything he ate. What he also knew is he needed to feel loved & this was the only way the little voice was telling him he could have it. He started to cry.

“What’s the matter?” Hobi pulled out & rolled Jimin onto his chest.

“Can I have both of you tonight?”

“What do you mean?”

“Can both of you stay in the bed with me?” he asked.

“I was going to see if Tae could take Yoongi Duty, but maybe someone else can,” Hobi nuzzled the top of Jimin’s head.

“Please?”

“Sure. Anything for my Jiminie,”

**8:15pm**

“What’s up, roomie?” Kookie rolled his eyes as he walked into Yoongi’s room.

“What are you doing in here?” he asked.

“My boyfriend would rather spend time with his new boyfriend, so you get me instead of Jin,” Kookie flopped onto the other bed.

“Huh?”

“That’s what you get for hiding in your room all the time. You miss out on everything that’s going on,” Kookie told him.

“Did you & Tae break up or something? I mean, I heard your fight. I’m pretty sure they heard your fight in Russia,”

“He & Jimin are...something. They’re more than fuck buddies, but I guess they haven’t labeled themselves yet. I dunno. Tae swears he loves me & that Jimin won’t leave Hobi, but I dunno…” Kookie took the liberty of grabbing the bottle of whiskey off Yoongi’s nightstand & took a drink. Jin had confiscated all the pills when he left.

“That’s incredibly clear. Thank you for that stunning explanation,” Yoongi said.

“Dude, I don’t have a damn clue. I wish I did. I gave him a present & we made up, but now he’s right back in there. I mean, Jimin is sick, too,” Kookie sighed.

“Sick? Like how?”

“Like purging again. That’s why he stopped coming in here to give Hobi a break. Tae started sitting with Jimin to stop him from getting up to purge & Hobi was in here with you. So I guess I kind of answered my own question,” Kookie took another drink. Yoongi thought about what Kookie said. While Hobi had been sitting with him making sure that he wasn’t going to try & kill himself again, Jimin had been out there slowly killing himself. For the first time in a long time, he felt like an ass. For the first time in a long time, he felt pain for someone other than himself. Yoongi felt awful for keeping Hobi from Jimin, even if it was unintentional. He knew if it had been him & Jac, Hobi would’ve told him to go be with her in a heartbeat. Yoongi pulled out his phone.

Yoongi: _Just found out about Jimin. Stay with him. I’ll find a new babysitter._  
Hobi: _You sure? I’m here for you._  
Yoongi: _Kookie needs to earn his keep. Hug your Jiminie & tell him I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to._  
Hobi: _Thx Yoon. Means a lot._  
Yoongi: _Don’t tell anyone._  
Hobi: _This is in writing._  
Yoongi: _Delete it immediately._  
Hobi: _Love you too, Yoon._  
Yoongi: _G’night._  
Hobi: _*kissy face emoji*_  
Yoongi: _*eyeroll emoji*_

“You’re the lucky winner,” Yoongi said to Kookie.

“Huh?”

“You are now officially on Yoongi Duty,”

“Seriously?” Kookie whined.

“Wow, nice to know you care,” Yoongi snorted. “Gimme that.” He took the bottle away from Kookie. Kookie glared at him.

“If this is what babysitting you is like then no wonder Jin doesn’t want to do it anymore,”

“In case you forgot, there was a time I was in charge of you not getting yourself into trouble,” Yoongi glared back.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t exactly the same thing. Like at all,”

“Are we going to turn this into a grief version of a dick comparing contest because in that case you can leave me alone & roll the dice,” Yoongi snapped.

“I lost her too, you know. You’re not the only one who’s suffering here. You lost a girlfriend, but I lost a sister. I never even knew I needed a sister. You might have gotten mad when she kicked you out of the room to help me, but I needed her as much as you did. I just needed her in different ways. I know exactly what time it is there. I think about texting her or calling her all the time, but I don’t want to wake her up because the only time I’m not busy is when she would be asleep. Part of me knows she wouldn’t care if I woke her up. A bigger part of me would die a little if she didn’t respond. I know how you feel, Yoongi. I may not want to have sex with her, but believe me when I say I know exactly how you feel. I love her. At first I thought I did want to have sex with her. Then I googled a lot of stuff & found out that there’s a whole bunch of kinds of love. In some ways, I love her more than I love Tae. Do you realize how damn freaky that is? To love a girl more than my boyfriend? It hurts like fucking hell without her, but I’m not hiding in my room taking pills & drinking,” Kookie stared at him. Yoongi blinked. It had never occurred to him that someone else loved her as much as he did. He knew they all loved her. He knew they all lost her. He never gave it any thought that she meant more to anyone other than him.

“I’m sorry,” is all that came out.

“I’m sorry, too,” Kookie replied.

“If you haven’t been hiding in your room drugging yourself, then what have you been doing?” Yoongi asked. He’d sniffed Kookie out.

“Cutting myself,” he replied slowly.

“I don’t see anything,” Yoongi glanced at Kookie’s arms.

“My legs,” he said. “I’ve got one that refuses to heal. Though I did basically stab myself.”

“Oh,”

“Every time I get pissed off or upset, I just...cut myself. It doesn’t make sense,”

“And washing down a bottle of pills with Wild Turkey does?”

“That's more normal...I guess?” Kookie said.

“I don’t think anything we’re doing is normal or healthy,” Yoongi sighed.

“I’m the dumb one & I could’ve told you that,” Kookie said.

“This might sound a little weird & it’s kind of embarrassing, so keep your mouth shut about it, but Hobi has been sleeping in the bed with me when he spends the night in here. I know you’re not used to sleeping by yourself & I’ve kind of gotten used to it,” Yoongi was thinking being waterboarded would feel better than saying this.

“You want me to literally sleep with you?” Kookie said.

“Yes,”

“Sure,” Kookie didn’t even hesitate. “I hate sleeping by myself.”

“Tell no one,” Yoongi said firmly.

“I won’t,” Kookie smiled a little. Maybe this babysitting thing wouldn’t be so bad after all.

**11:22pm**

Hobi & Tae stopped outside Hobi & Jimin’s room after picking up some fresh sheets & towels.

“Thanks for everything. Really, you have no idea what this means to me,” Hobi told him.

“It’s totally fine. I’m happy to help,” Tae replied. They stared at each other for a second, Hobi leaning against the doorframe & Tae standing in front of him. Before he could stop himself, Tae stepped up & kissed Hobi. Hobi kissed him back. It was a slow, deep kiss. It was the embers of the fire from two people who loved the same person with their whole beings. Tae had been Hobi’s first Sub after Jimin. It had been a failure on several levels, not the least of which was Jimin’s disapproval of Hobi having him in the first place. Tae didn’t respond to aggression. He needed to be coached & coaxed. Jimin had done it perfectly. He’d figured out all the right things to do to turn Tae into the Sub he could be. The Sub Tae wanted to be. This wasn’t a kiss between a Dom & a Sub or even an ex-Dom & ex-Sub. This was a kiss that came from somewhere much more visceral. Somewhere they couldn’t explain.

Tae took Hobi’s wrists & led him to the bed. He pulled him down on top of him without stopping kissing him. Hobi put one hand behind Tae’s head & ran the other down his chest.

“What are we doing?” Hobi breathed.

“Bonding. Jimin’s lover & his husband should know each other inside & out too, right?” Tae replied.

“You’re a smart man, Kim Taehyung,”

“Thank you, Jung Hoseok,” Tae kissed him again. “Want to see what your husband is raving about?”

“I’d love to,” Hobi kissed the crook of Tae’s neck at his shoulder.

They took off their clothes & Hobi got up on his hands & knees. Tae slid into him. Jimin was right. He felt amazing. Hobi immediately pushed his ass back onto Tae’s cock.

“You approve?”

“I do,” Hobi groaned. Tae started moving in & out. He didn’t feel as good as Jimin or Kookie, but what he lacked in initial sensation, he easily made up for with skill. As he ground his ass back onto Tae’s dick, Tae groaned.

“Oh fuck, Hobi,”

“You’re welcome,” Hobi didn’t stop grinding into him. Tae had all but stopped moving. He ran his hands & back & forth up Hobi’s sides. He felt him move & grind under him. Each movement felt like it shot straight up his spine into the base of his skull. He rested his hands on Hobi’s shoulder blades & grunted & groaned as Hobi began to thrust up & down Tae’s cock.

“You ready?”

“Oh god…”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Hobi shoved his ass all the way on Tae’s dick & bucked his hips a little. Tae came like someone punched him in the chest. He gasped & struggled to catch his breath as he clawed at Hobi’s back. Hobi kept grinding into him & finished himself. He went down on his elbows & Tae pitched off to the side when they both finished.

“Weren’t expecting that, were you?” Hobi smiled. Tae shook his head.

“Maybe next time I’ll let you drive,” Hobi kissed him deeply.

“Or I’ll leave it to the expert,” Tae smiled.

“Don’t worry. I’ll teach you,”

**11:59pm**

Jimin felt Hobi & Tae get in the bed with him & adjust him so he’d be most comfortable. He may have been 80% asleep, but he knew something was off. They smelled different. They smelled like each other. He felt the urge to vomit.

**January 27, 2019**  
**5:32am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Jimin held off for almost 30 hours. Ever since he smelled them on each other, he’d wanted to purge. He’d allowed himself to eat so he’d actually have something to throw up. He carefully extracted himself from the bed. Both Hobi & Tae were sound asleep. He crept down the hall to the bathroom. Jimin had mastered being quiet moving around the house. He quietly closed the bathroom door & turned on the shower. Then he stuck his finger down his throat.

He’d just thrown up a second time when Hobi threw open the door. He grabbed Jimin’s shoulders & pushed him against the wall. Tae was hot on Hobi’s heels.

“Jimin, stop! You don’t have to do this,” Hobi knelt down in front of him & pinned his shoulders to the wall.

“Why did you do this to me again, Hobi? Why?” he coughed.

“Do what?”

“Fuck someone else without telling me first,” tears started streaming down Jimin’s face. Tae sat down in front of him.

“It was my fault. I started it. I told him we should do it because we needed to, I dunno, know each other in bed,” he said.

“Then you’re just as bad as he is,” Jimin looked at him.

“I’m sorry, J. I had no idea. I thought since Hobi was okay with it, you would be too,” Tae replied.

“Well you were wrong,” Jimin glared at him.

_What would Jac do?_

“I was. We were. Our whole lives are fucked up & we’re all not thinking clearly & we made a mistake by not asking you first. We’ll ask you first next time, right?” Tae looked at Hobi.

“Absolutely. If we want to do it again, we’ll ask you first,” Hobi agreed.

“And if I say no?” Jimin asked.

“We won’t do it,” Tae said. Hobi nodded.

“Promise?” Jimin asked.

“I swear on our marriage that if you say no I won’t even look at him,” Hobi told him. “If I can help it.”

“We didn’t mean to hurt you. At least believe that,” Tae held one of Jimin’s hands. It was shaking. Jimin nodded.

“I believe you,”

“Let’s go back to bed,” Hobi said.

“I can sleep in the other room,” Tae offered.

“No,” Jimin squeezed his hand. “You can stay.”

“Okay,” they helped him up. Hobi picked Jimin up & carried him back down the hall. Jimin let his head rest on Hobi’s shoulder. Tae followed them feeling like shit. How had it not occurred to him to ask Jimin if he was okay with him sleeping with Hobi? Now he was just as bad as Kookie.

Kookie.

What the hell was he going to do about Kookie? He’d all but left him in favor of Jimin. In spite of saying he wouldn’t. Now Kookie was on Yoongi Duty. How long would that last? Forever? He’d heard Jin & Namjoon yelling, actually yelling, at each other last night. They were falling apart. Not just falling apart, but completely crumbling in on themselves. _What would Jac do?_ When they got back in the room, Tae looked at the clock. He did some quick math in his head & grabbed his phone.

“I’ll be right back,” he told Jimin & Hobi.

“What is it my dear Taehyung?” he heard her voice when he closed the door to Jimin & Hobi’s room. All he could do was cry.

**January 30, 2019**  
**1:19pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“Oh for the love of god, you can leave me alone long enough to shower & I won’t try anything. Unless you put the pills in the shower,” Yoongi had actually worked up the interest to leave his room & take a shower. It would be the first time in 2 weeks. He was arguing with Namjoon over whether or not he should be supervised.

“There’s plenty of other things you could try,” Namjoon said.

“I’m not the cutter,”

“Gee thanks,” Kookie said.

“I’ll stand outside the door. I’m kind of an expert,” Hobi said.

“Why are we even arguing about this? Haven’t you been trying to get me out of my room for a month?” Yoongi snapped.

“That was before you decided to chase a bottle of pills with Jack Daniels!” Namjoon yelled back.

“Everybody calm the fuck down!” Tae yelled. They all jumped.

“Hobi will stand outside the door while Yoongi is in the shower & everyone else will find something else to do instead of bitching at each other,” he huffed.

“Okay…”

No one was used to Tae raising his voice. They’d heard it once, but he’d lost his temper with Kookie. Now he’d yelled at all of them.

“This is bullshit,” he grumbled to himself as he walked back down the hall. Kookie caught up with him.

“Hey, do you need to talk?”

“About what? We’re falling apart. Can’t you see it? We’re dying, some of us literally,” Tae told him. “The only person who can fix it is an ocean away.”

Kookie wasn’t sure what to do so he held out his arms like he wanted a hug. Tae grabbed him.

“How did we end up like this?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Kookie replied. “Come on. We’re blocking the hall.”

He walked Tae into Hobi & Jimin’s room. He took off his shirt & got on the bed. Tae pulled off his shirt & lied next to him. Kookie was wearing shorts & Tae ran his hand up one of his thighs. Most of the cuts were healing except for the really deep one.

“They don’t hurt anymore,” Kookie told him.

“They hurt to look at,” Tae said.

“I guess so,” Kookie said. “So what’s going on in your life. I feel like I never see you.”

“Jimin is still fighting us. He’ll do really well, then we’ll be busting down the bathroom door at 5am. How’s life with Yoongi?”

“Not so bad actually. He drinks a lot, but he did that before. Doesn’t talk much,” he said.

“No pills?”

“Jin took them all. At least all the ones he could find,” Kookie said.

“I miss you,” Tae said.

“I miss you too, baby,” Kookie rolled over & kissed him. “When we get ourselves together, I want to take you on a date.”

“Like a real date?”

“Like go out somewhere & do something. I’m not sure what people do on dates, but I know it’s not stay in the house,” Kookie said.

“That could be a while,” Tae sighed.

“I guess we can hope,”

Tae leaned over & kissed him. Kookie ran his hands down Tae’s back. He loved Tae’s body. Every muscle, every curve, every inch of skin brought back a memory- whether it was the first time they were alone together or the time they made out on the balcony of the hotel at the beach. He didn’t want to miss out on any more memories.

“Can we start over?” Kookie breathed between kisses.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m Kookie. I think you’re really hot & I want to be your boyfriend,” he said.

“Hi Kookie, I’m Tae. I also think you’re really hot & I definitely want to be your boyfriend,” Tae kissed him.

“Hi boyfriend,” Kookie smiled.

“Hi boyfriend,” Tae smiled back. “This won’t be easy.”

“Has it ever been before?”

“No,”

“I want our old lives back. Even if it was Subbing for Hobi,” Kookie said.

“I never thought I’d agree with you about that,” Tae replied. “At least I got you out of it, though. I’ll never forget our first real kiss.”

“How do you remember it?”

“I was going to shower & you stopped me. I’d been thinking about what we’d done with Hobi constantly, but I wasn’t sure what to do or how to approach you. I was glad you made the first move. When you kissed me, it felt like someone threw open the curtains in a dark room. I didn’t even realize I was in a dark room until you kissed me & the light come in. I’ve been with Hobi, I’ve been with Jimin, I’m in love with Jimin, but none of them brought me out of a darkness I didn’t even know I was in. You did. Some days I feel like you’re all I have, Kookie. That’s why I got so angry. The one person I loved the most didn’t love me back the same way. But what could I do? I kept hearing that you were going to hurt me or something would happen, but you never even asked. Yeah, I freaked out with what happened on your birthday, but that was hardcore stuff. You never even asked if I was willing to try something a little harder than what we normally did. Part of my just assumed you didn’t love me the same way I loved you. And that hurt. Then this whole thing with Hobi & Jimin came up, I was mad at you, so I did it. Jimin made me feel loved. I understand where I fit in his life. And Hobi’s. I never really knew where I stood with you. Sometimes I’d feel completely confident that you loved me the same way I loved you, then you’d turn around & do something that made me question it. I need to know where I fit in your life, Kookie. I don’t care if I’m not your only one. I need to be certain I know where I stand,” Tae told him.

“Tell me what to do,”

“Show me you love me. Don’t just tell me,” he replied.

“So the bandanna?”

“Was perfect,” Tae rolled on top of him.

“You want more presents?”

“Not necessarily. Fucking me like you mean it helps,” he licked up the side of Kookie’s neck. “Show me. Don’t tell me.”

“Are you asking for something, new boyfriend?”

“Your new boyfriend is a bit of a slut & puts out quickly,”

“I don’t have a problem with that,”

“Good, because I’m not letting you leave this room until some serious fucking has happened,” he pushed himself up & looked down at Kookie. “I want to try something.”

“Oh really? Did you pick it up from Jimin?”

“Nope,”

“Hobi?”

“Nope,”

“A Kim Taehyung original?”

“I mean, it’s probably not original in the history of sex, but we’ve never tried it,” he said.

“Okay then,” Kookie went to sit up & Tae pushed him back down. “Take off your pants & stay on your back,”

“Oh really?” Tae simply smiled. Kookie slid out of his shorts & Tae pulled off his jeans. He straddled Kookie facing away from him & lowered himself onto Kookie’s dick. Kookie was looking at Tae’s entire back. Tae leaned forward & braced himself right above Kookie’s knees. He tried not to look at the healing cuts. Tae ground himself onto Kookie’s cock. Kookie grunted.

“Holy shit…” he ran his hands down Tae’s back as he moved. He was essentially at Tae’s mercy. Holy fucking hell, Jimin had created a Switch. And he was good. Tae walked his fingers up Kookie’s thighs.

“How you doing back there?”

“Should I be calling you sir right now?”

“Only if you want to,” Tae smiled over his shoulder at him. He ground into Kookie harder. Kookie arched his back & clawed at Tae’s back. Tae tried to remember what Hobi had done to him. He leaned forward & bucked his hips slightly. Kookie came. He thrust hard up into Tae & clawed at his sides. Tae relaxed & enjoyed the feeling of Kookie pounding into him. That made him come. His arms shook as he got off Kookie once he finished. He pushed his hair back & looked down at Kookie.

“I love you too, baby,” Kookie panted.

“I know,” Tae replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’ve made it through this chapter, then you’ve made it through the worst / most traumatic / hardest to read chapters. I want to thank you for sticking with me. I know these weren't particularly easy or fun to read chapters, but I hope they were still enjoyable on some level.
> 
> Onward to February & I promise it goes up from here. :)


	13. Early February

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background Music (if you’re so inclined):  
> “Epiphany” BTS (Jin’s solo)  
> “Coming Home” Butch Walker  
> “Drowning” Backstreet Boys  
> “Walk on Water” 30 Seconds to Mars

**February 4, 2019**  
**8:24am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Yoongi blindly clawed in the bedside table for the pill bottle he knew Jin hadn’t found. Instead his hand hit something soft. He felt the soft thing move. He realized it was a hand. The hand laced its fingers in between his. It was too small to be any of his brothers’ hands. Then he felt the bed move from someone sitting on it.

“What have you done to yourself, Yoongi?”

He knew that voice.

Jac.

He opened his eyes & looked up at her. Her hair was down & framed her face like a blonde halo. Her eyes looked unbearably sad. She knew. She knew everything.

“Jac?”

“I’m here. You’re not dreaming,” she touched his face with her other hand.

“I thought I lost you,” he croaked.

“I thought I lost you, too,”

“Why are you here?”

“I got a job here. I’m teaching English at one of the universities. Hobi called me & told me what was going on. I literally landed & came straight here. Why are you hurting yourself?”

“Because I didn’t know what else to do,” he said quietly. She lied down on the bed & faced him.

“You can stop now. I’m here. I’m not going to leave you,” she ran her hand through his hair.

“You promise?”

“I promise,” she kissed him. She tasted like plane peanuts & cheap wine. He pulled her into him & held her against his chest as he kissed her.

“I love you, Jac Candler,”

“I love you too, Min Yoongi,”

**10am**

Tae came yawning down the hall. As he turned to go into the kitchen, he swore he saw long blonde hair. No, it was a trick of the light. That wasn’t possible. Then she turned around.

“Miss me?” she smiled.

“You have no idea,” he hugged her & started crying. She hugged him back.

“I missed you too, TaeTae,”

“We’re falling apart,” he sobbed.

“Your Gorilla Glue has returned,”

“What?”

“Nevermind,”

“You’re not allowed to leave again. Ever,” he hugged her even tighter.

“I won’t. I love you jackasses too much,”

“You need to see Jimin,” Tae said. Jac’s heart plummeted into her stomach.

“Why?” Tae just took her hand & led her down to his room. Jimin was buried under the covers. Jac sat on the bed & gently put her hand on his shoulder.

“Jimin, it’s me,”

He rolled over & blinked a few times.

“Jac?”

“Hey,” she smiled. “I missed you.”

“Yoongi tried…” he started.

“I know,”

“I couldn’t stop myself,” he looked ashamed. She brushed his hair off his face.

“It’ll be okay. We’re all one big, happy, horny family again,”

“I’m so sick,” he told her.

“I know. We’ll fix it,”

“I love you, Jac,”

“I love you, too Jiminie. Go back to sleep,” she kissed his cheek. Her hair tickled the side of his face. He reached up & brushed her hair behind her ear.

“Thank you,” he said.

“For what?”

Coming home,”

“You’re welcome,” she smiled.

**10:45am**

Jac sat down with Hobi on the balcony.

“Tell me the truth. About all of you,”

“Well you know about Yoongi & you just saw Jimin,”

“Why is he in Kookie & Tae’s room?”

“We switched temporarily. Their room is the hottest in the house, literally, & Jimin is cold all the time now. Kookie has started cutting himself. Tae hasn’t been the least bit successful at getting him to stop. He’s also been trying to help me with Jimin. Kookie has proven to be a pretty decent roommate to Yoongi, but nothing is perfect. Jin & Namjoon are about ready to kill each other because they don’t know what to do about us & have started taking it out on each other. So that’s where we are,” Hobi told her.

“I don’t even know where to start,” she sighed.

“Being here is a huge first step. Not having you around was a large part of the problem,” he said.

“It spawned a drug problem, an eating disorder relapse, a cutter, & marital problems?”

“I wouldn’t place all that blame on yourself. Jimin had the eating disorder well before you ever met us. Kookie has never learned healthy coping mechanisms, Yoongi was probably ripe for abusing his pills sooner or later, & marriage isn’t all rainbows & unicorns. Or so I’m told,”

“How’s your marriage going?” Jac asked.

“Okay. I had to delegate to Tae for a while when I was the only one on Yoongi Duty. Then Jimin needed both of us & I passed Yoongi Duty to Jin then Kookie. My marriage is now three people, ” Hobi

sighed.

“That sounds like an interesting story,” Jac said.

“You have no idea,”

“Well, I am officially on Yoongi Duty, you can go back to your husband full time, & Kookie can go back to Tae,” she patted his arm.

“Thank you,” Hobi hugged her.

“Anything for you, Hobes,” she hugged him back.

“I never thought I would miss being called that,”

“You’re stuck with it now,” she laughed.

“I can live with that,” he smiled.

“I need to go wake up Yoongi & inform him I’m taking the grand tour of reuniting with his brothers. I’ve still got 3 more to go,”

“Kookie won’t be easy,”

“I know,” she said. “I know.”

**11:20am**

Kookie rolled over when he heard a knock at the door. Who knocked? At this point they just barged in on each other.

“What?” he grumbled.

“Is that any way to greet your _nuna_?”

It couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible. He was dreaming. Kookie sat straight up & looked at the door. Jac was leaning against the doorframe smiling at him.

“Want to try that again?”

“Oh my god…”

“I’ll accept that, too,”

He jumped out of bed & grabbed her into a chest crushing hug. He picked her up off the floor & started sobbing.

“Okay _maknae_ , put me down & you can tell me everything,” she grunted. He carried her to the bed & put her down. He immediately curled up & put his head in her lap. She pet his hair as he sobbed. His whole body shook. Her heart broke for him. She’d missed them every day since they’d left, but this was a different level of pain. She’d cried, but not like this. Yoongi had lost a partner when they left. Kookie had lost the only sibling he’d really, truly trusted. Jac knew about Yoongi’s pain. She hadn’t realized how bad Kookie’s was. She didn’t say anything. She simply pet his hair & let him cry. The pants could be washed.

“I didn’t mean to,” he sniffed.

“I know,”

“It didn’t even make me feel better,”

“Most of the time it doesn’t,” she replied.

“I missed you so much,”

“I missed you too, little one,” she smiled down at him.

“You can’t leave again. I don’t care what I have to do,” he said.

“How about you let me worry about that & just trust that I’ll always be here now? Other than when I’m at work,”

“You got a job here?”

“That’s how I snuck into the country. I’m teaching English at one of the universities. And I’m going to teach you pains in the ass English sooner or later,” she pinched his shoulder. He giggled a little when she pinched him. She pinched him again & he giggled more.

“Did I find a tickle spot?”

“No,” he covered his arms. She reached under his arm & pinched his side.

“Hey!” he jumped & giggled. She kept pinching him & he kept jumping & giggling until he’d stopped crying. He looked up at her.

“You’re my favorite big sister,”

“I’m your only big sister,” she replied.

“Doesn’t matter,” he said as he got resettled in her lap. She smiled.

“Where’s your other half?”

“He might be with Jimin? I don’t know,”

Jac pulled out her phone.

Jac: _Marco_  
Tae: _Huh?_  
Jac: _Where are you, dumbass._  
Tae: _With Jimin._  
Jac: _Y’all want some company?_  
Tae: _...sure?_  
Jac: _There in a sec._

“We’re going to see Jimin & Tae,” she said.

“Okay…”

“It’s naptime for the maknae line,” Jac told him. “Up you get.”

Kookie followed her down the hall to where Tae & Jimin were. Tae was holding on to Jimin who was trying not to shiver.

“Come on, my babies. Time to sleep,” Jac said. “You first Jiminie.”

Tae helped Jimin sit up & put him under Jac’s arm against her side. Jac tried not to wince when she felt how bony he’d become.

“Kookie,” she held up her other arm & he nestled against her shoulder.

“Now you, TaeTae,”

Tae draped himself across Jac & Jimin’s laps. He hoped it would keep Jimin warm enough. Jac wasn’t very big. She kissed all three of them.

“Sweet dreams, little ones,”

“You too,” they mumbled as they all drifted off to sleep. Jac strategically moved her arm that was supporting Kookie & got a picture of her with all 3 of them sleeping on her. She sent it to Hobi.

Jac: _Every woman’s dream._  
Hobi: _And some men’s._  
Jac: _Thank you for that image I won’t be able to get out of my head for a month._  
Hobi: _You’re welcome._  
Jac: _Bite me._  
Hobi: _I love you, too Jacie._  
Jac: _Jay-cee?_  
Hobi: _Jackie. You know, Jac, Jacie._  
Jac: _Whatevs._

Jac knew she wasn’t going to sleep. Her internal clock was all kinds of fucked up. She’d probably be trapped for hours. She remembered seeing them at the awards show 2 weeks ago. Tae not paying attention. Kookie limping. Jimin barely able to stand on his own. She’d been back for only 3 hours & she felt like she’d walked into a war zone. The destruction was exponentially worse in person. She could feel Jimin’s ribs. She could see the exhaustion on Tae’s face. She couldn’t see Kookie’s cuts, but she could see the slight change in how he walked.

“I’ll never leave you again, little ones,” she whispered. “Even if it kills me.”

**3:25pm**

“I thought I’d never see you again,” he put his nose in her hair & inhaled. Gardenias. They were squished into Yoongi’s bed after Jac had returned from napping with the maknae line.

“I knew about a day after you left that I didn’t want to live without you,” she said. “I just had to figure out what to do about it.”

“Why did you stop texting me?”

“A little bit because you refused to respond & a little bit because I’d figured out how to get here. It was a lot of paperwork. A lot,” she replied. He brushed his fingers over her arms.

“Why didn’t you say anything once you’d figured it out?”

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up in case something fell through. I told Hobi & Jin so at least two of you would know,” she told him.

“That explains a bit,”

“I knew they wouldn’t be able to completely keep their mouths shut,” she smiled.

“They never said anything important, obviously,” he told her.

“Or you wouldn’t have…”

“I’m so sorry, Jac. If I’d known, then I wouldn’t have,” he hugged her.

“Just promise me no matter what happens that you won’t do it again,” she replied. “There’s more people than me in this world worth living for.”

“I promise,” he kissed her. And they lied there holding each other, trying to remind themselves it wasn’t a dream.

**6:25pm**

It was the first time in over a month they were all in the living room at the same time. Hell, it was the first time in over a month they’d all had dinner together. It had been fairly plain because Jimin’s stomach couldn’t tolerate much, but he’d eaten more than anyone had seen in weeks. The next question was would he keep it down. Hobi devoutly hoped so.

Jac was sitting on one of the couches with Jimin wrapped in a blanket under one arm, Kookie lying with his head in her lap, & Tae sitting on the floor with her legs over his shoulders like restraints on a roller coaster. The maknae line had practically glued themselves to her when they were all in the common areas.

“I don’t think they missed her,” Hobi leaned over to Yoongi.

“Nope, not at all,” Yoongi smiled back. It was the first time Hobi had seen a real smile from Yoongi since Christmas. He wanted to cry.

“Ow!” Jac said.

“Sorry!” Kookie has whacked her in the side while playing a game on his phone. She poked him in the side of the head. She gave Jimin a squeeze.

“How’s my Jiminie?”

“Feeling better,”

“Good. We’ll have you back to eating Jac Candler approved birthday dinner sized portions in no time,” he kissed the top of his head.

“Thanks Jac,”

“Of course, little one,”

She scratched Tae’s head with her free hand.

“How you doing down there?”

“Fine,” he jumped a little. He’d obviously dozed off. She laughed. It was almost like she’d never left. Almost.

**9:25pm**

“I told him not to tell you,” Jac said to Namjoon. “So please don’t hold that against him.”

“Why did you tell him & not me?” Namjoon was obviously hurt.

“Because I know you. You would’ve wanted to share it with everyone & I couldn’t share it until I was sure. I know you can keep secrets, but you’d want to as the leader tell everyone that I was coming back. I wanted those papers in my hand before I did anything major. I told Jin because I needed one of you two to know. Hobi & I kept in touch, so I kept him updated on what I was doing. I wasn’t purposely cutting you out. I didn’t want you to get everyone’s hopes up on the off chance things fell through,” she explained. Namjoon considered what she’d said.

“I wish you’d told me,” he sighed.

“I would have if I could have,” she replied, hugging him. “Please stop fighting with him over this.”

“It’s more than just this,” he hugged her back.

“The kids will be okay. It’ll take time, but they’ll get there,” she said.

“I can’t stand to see them hurting,”

“I know,”

“I don’t know how to help them,”

“They have to help themselves, but we can support them,” she told him.

“You got Jimin to eat,”

“Jimin chose to eat. I happened to be in the vicinity,” she smiled.

“Thank you for coming home,”

“I’m happy to be home,” she gave him a squeeze. “Now go have make up sex with your husband or something. You need it.”

“Thank you for that,” he rolled his eyes.

“I love you too, Joon,” she grinned.

**10:30pm**

“Are you mine for the rest of the night?” Yoongi asked.

“I am. I got the babies tucked in. And Hobi,” she stretched. He laughed. “That said, all of my clothes were delivered to an apartment I have almost no intention of actually using.”

“So you’re saying the only clothes you have right now are the ones you’re wearing,” he said.

“Correct,” she put her arms around his waist.

“I hear pajamas are highly overrated,” he told her.

“Oh really?”

“I saw it on the internet,”

“Then it must be true,” she kissed him.

“Obviously,” he put his hands under her shirt.

“I remember when you almost had heart failure putting your hands under my top,” she grinned.

“I got over it,” he pulled her shirt off.

“I noticed,” she ran her finger under the waistband of his sweatpants.

“You’re such a damn tease,” he kissed her.

“Yup,” she took off his shirt.

“I missed you,” he skimmed his fingers down her back.

“I missed you, too,” she hugged him. He felt that familiar floating feeling when their skin touched. “Though while pajamas might be optional, a bigger bed isn’t.”

“I’ll see what I can do,”

“Or we’ll be sleeping on the floor until you get a new one,”

“I don’t care where I sleep as long as it’s next to you,” he smiled down at her.

“God you’re so corny,” she rolled her eyes.

“And that’s why you love me,” he took off her bra.

“Maybe,” she pulled off her jeans & got on the bed. Yoongi took off his sweatpants & climbed on top of her. His hands didn’t know where to go. He wanted to touch all of her all at once. He wanted his hands in her hair. He wanted his hands around her waist. He wanted his hands under her thighs. He wanted her.  
Jac kissed him like she’d wanted to kiss the broken boy she’d seen on TV a few weeks ago. A kiss that told him everything would be okay. A kiss that told him she loved him. A kiss that told him he didn’t have to hurt himself anymore. A kiss that could hold him together when he was ready to fall apart.

Yoongi slid into her & Jac felt herself relax.

“Welcome home,” he smiled.

“Thank you,” she smiled back. He slowly moved in & out of her, savoring every motion. She held onto his neck & moved with him. It was like they’d never been apart. They knew each other’s every twitch, twist, & sigh. Yoongi leaned down & rested his head next to hers.

“I love you,”

“I love you, too,”

Then he finished her. She held onto him like her life depended on it as she contracted around him. She didn’t scream. She didn’t even really moan. She didn’t have to. He knew he’d given her everything without a single sound. He waited until she finished & then finished himself. He buried his face in her neck as he thrust into her. He felt her stroke his hair while he came. When he finished, he rolled over & put her on top of him.

“Good night, Jac Candler,” he kissed her.

“Good night, Min Yoongi,” she replied.

 **February 6, 2019**  
**9:24pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

The house had gotten quiet early. Everyone had shifted back to their normal rooms. Jimin had gone back to eating normally & hadn’t purged in over 2 days. He hadn’t gained much weight back, but he wasn’t constantly cold & exhausted. Hobi was just happy that he wasn’t constantly monitoring when he ate & how soon he got up afterwards.

“How are you feeling?” Hobi nuzzled the side of Jimin’s head.

“Better,” Jimin hugged him.

“Good. I was so worried about my Jiminie,”

“I know, Hobi- _hyung_. I know,” Jimin kissed his ear. He put his hands up the back of Hobi’s shirt. Hobi ran his hand down Jimin’s thigh. He tickled behind his knee. Jimin jumped & swatted at him.

“Mean,” he said as he pulled off Hobi’s shirt.

“But I love to hear you giggle,” Hobi grinned. He ticked him again & Jimin swatted him again.

“Mean ex-Dom,” Jimin smiled back.

“I know,” Hobi kissed him. “What can the mean ex-Dom do to for his prince tonight?”

“Touch me,” Jimin whispered. “Touch all of me.”

“I can do that,” Hobi brushed Jimin’s cheek. They took off the rest of their clothes & Hobi propped himself up next to Jimin. Jimin lied on his back next to him with his arms stretched over his head. Hobi gently brushed his hand up his thigh. He felt the curve of Jimin’s hip & pelvis. It wasn’t as soft as it had been a month ago, but Hobi kept his face relaxed. Hobi curled up his fingers & grazed his knuckles up to his navel & lightly drew a circle around it. Jimin watched him intently as he caressed his stomach with his palm. He knew Hobi was trying not to wince when he felt ribs instead of flesh. Hobi brushed his fingertips across Jimin’s upper chest & collarbone. Hobi watched Jimin’s breathing get shallower as he lightly moved his palm up his neck to his cheek. He paused there for a moment to brush his thumb across his cheekbone.

 _I love this boy_.

Hobi ran his hand up Jimin’s arm until he reached his hand. He weaved his fingers in Jimin’s.

“I love you, Jiminie,” he whispered.

“I love you, Hobi- _hyung_ ,” Jimin breathed. Hobi gently kissed him.

“Do you want more?”

“What do you want to give me?”

“I want my prince to sleep. I want my prince to have good dreams,” Hobi told him.

“Then you know what to give me,” Jimin replied. Hobi smiled.

“I do,”

Jimin slid up the bed & Hobi rolled over between his legs. Hobi slowly closed his lips around the end of Jimin’s cock & licked across the tip. He moved his tongue up & down the bottom, pausing each time to flick the most sensitive spot. Jimin moaned & started to squirm. Hobi rubbed up & down Jimin’s sides as he licked him. He loved feeling him move under his hands with every lick or flick. Jimin twisted & groaned as Hobi used his whole tongue. Jimin put one hand on the back of Hobi’s head. Hobi went deeper. Jimin gasped & groaned louder. Hobi held on to Jimin’s hips as he quickly pulled his head back & sucked on the tip. Jimin clawed at Hobi’s head as he came. He arched his back & screamed as he pounded into Hobi’s mouth. Hobi held onto him & kept licking as he came. When he finally finished, Hobi gave him one final lick & Jimin shuddered. He crawled up & kissed his husband.

“Jesus, Hobi. I thought you wanted me to sleep well, not kill me,” he panted.

“So a good one?” Hobi smiled. Jimin nodded. “Excellent.”

“You’re amazing, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

“It’s all for you, Jiminie. Everything,” Hobi brushed his hand through Jimin’s hair. “Good dreams tonight?”

“Good dreams,” he replied.

“Perfect,”

 **February 10, 2019**  
**9:15pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“We haven’t done something all three of us,” Hobi said. “And now that Jiminie is feeling better…”

“You want us all to play,” Tae said.

“Exactly,” Hobi replied. “Jiminie?”

“Of course, Hobi- _hyung_. If it’s going to be all three of us for a while,” Jimin agreed.

“I’d hope so,” Hobi kissed Jimin while Tae wrapped his arms around Jimin’s shoulders from behind.

“But what do we do?” Tae asked.

“You remember what I did with you & Kookie?” Hobi asked. Jimin was pinned between them. His back was against Tae’s front & his legs were wrapped around Hob’s waist.

“Who gets to be in the middle?” Tae asked. Jimin leaned his head back on Tae’s shoulder.

“You want to try?”

“Sure,” Tae ran his hands down Jimin’s sides. “But if you fuck me, it won’t last long.”

“I can take care of that,” Hobi smiled. “And we can see what Jiminie thinks of your blow job technique.”

“I don’t think I’ve experienced one of those,” Jimin replied. Hobi simply smiled. He kissed Tae over Jimin’s shoulder.

“I think you’ll very much enjoy yourself,”

“Sounds wonderful,” Jimin smiled. They took off their clothes as they adjusted themselves. Tae was in the middle as they sat up against the wall. Jimin brushed the unruly piece of hair behind Tae’s ear as he kissed him while Hobi massaged Tae’s cock. Tae would periodically jump or groan when Hobi hit a good spot. Jimin put his hand behind Tae’s head as he kissed him harder. He lightly ran a finger down Jimin’s chest & around the base of his dick.

“Ready?” Hobi whispered.

“Of course,” Tae kissed Hobi intensely as he got up on all fours. Jimin leaned back against the wall & watched Tae closely. Hobi thrust into Tae, forcing his head down onto Jimin’s cock. Jimin relaxed at the feeling of Tae’s mouth around his dick. He began deliberately licking his way up the shaft until he reached the tip. He was grinding against Hobi to keep his mouth where he wanted it. He lightly sucked on the head. Jimin started to squirm & moan.

Hearing Jimin moan made Hobi want to fuck Tae harder. Tae was fighting him. He was pushing his ass down on Hobi’s dick with every thrust. Hobi held on to Tae’s waist & kept pounding him. Tae kept pushing against him. It was so fucking hot.

Tae was having trouble splitting his attention. He wanted to make sure Jimin enjoyed his blow job, but Hobi was fucking him harder than he’d been fucked in months. He opted to focus on making Jimin come first. He fought Hobi as he took all of Jimin in his mouth. He braced his hands on either side of Jimin’s hips on the bed & put all his effort into licking the bump under the head. Jimin put one hand on the back of Tae’s head & started thrusting into his mouth. Tae kept the same pace until he felt Jimin start to shake. Then he closed his lips & gave Jimin one final lick.

Hobi stopped when he heard Jimin start to come. He watched him hold Tae’s head down as he screamed & thrashed. He loved watching his husband come, even if he didn’t technically do it himself this time. When he finished, Tae picked up his head & Jimin rolled onto his side.

“Just you & me now,” Hobi said.

“Go for it,” Tae replied.

Hearing Jimin come had gotten Hobi a lot closer. He let himself slow down & groan as he moved in & out of Tae. He’d fucked him pretty hard & Tae would probably be sore for a few days. It was too damn easy when he fought back, though.

Tae relaxed when Hobi slowed down. He was going to be sore. Very sore. He was so close, though. He dropped his head & arched his back. That did it. He started to come & Hobi started a few seconds later. They ground against each other & screamed. When they finished, Tae fell on top of Jimin & Hobi fell on his side in front of them.

“Not bad,” Tae said.

“Not bad at all,” they agreed.

**10:02pm**

Jac rolled her eyes when she heard the cacophony of orgasm noises.

“Clearly they’re all feeling better,” she said.

“Didn’t you miss this?” Yoongi grinned.

“Not in the least. Maybe I’ll buy them all ball gags for Valentine’s Day,” she said.

“Charming,”

“One of my many endearing traits,” she smiled.

**10:15pm**

Kookie couldn’t get the echo of Tae’s orgasm out of his head. Someone else had done it for him. Someone who wasn’t Kookie. If this was what Tae felt like for the beginning of their relationship, then he was amazed that Tae hadn’t ended it with him. Kookie turned the piece of mirror over in his hand. It would be so easy. Just one quick slice. That wouldn’t make him feel better at all.  
Kookie got up & walked down the hall.

**10:25pm**

Jac knew that knock. It was more of a banging. Kookie never just knocked.

“What’s the matter, _maknae_?”

“I heard Tae with Jimin & Hobi & it made me want to cut myself,” he told her. Jac looked over her shoulder at Yoongi.

“I’ll be right back,”

They went down the hall to Kookie & Tae’s room. Kookie handed her the piece of broken mirror.

“Take this away from me or I’ll try to use it again,” he said. Jac nodded.

“What exactly is going on here?” Jac asked. Kookie flopped down on the bed. Jac sat down & let him cuddle under her arm.

“Tae is...with Jimin & Hobi like as their boyfriend, but we also decided to stay boyfriends. I did what Jin suggested. I got him a gift. I told him I’d take him on a real date once we all got our shit together. Where did I mess up? Was it from before? Is he still mad at me for all the stuff I did with Jimin & Hobi before? Or is he just punishing me?” Kookie sniffed.

“Why don’t you ask him all of this?”

“I don’t know when he’ll be back. They’re probably asleep,” he replied.

“If there’s one thing Tae isn’t, it’s vindictive. He may have done it once to get back at you, but he’s not the type to continually punish you for something. I, on the other hand, will punish someone for stealing my ball on the playground in third grade for the rest of our lives. He genuinely loves Jimin & that’s where he gets confused. He loves you, too. Lord knows he loves you. I have at least one shirt that’s permanently stained with Tae snot from a particularly emotional night,” she told him. He looked up at her.

“What do I do?”

“Take him on the date. Show him you love him. I know he adores you. I’m confident that didn’t change while I was gone. You’re both young. You both don’t exactly know what you’re doing. Be patient with each other. I see how he looks at you when you aren’t looking. I see how you look at him when he isn’t looking. You forget that I see everything. I want my _maknae_ & my TaeTae to be happy. I know you can be,” she kissed the top of his head.

“I love you, _nuna_ ,”

“I love you too, _maknae_ ,”

11:39pm

Tae crept quietly back into their room. Kookie was asleep on his back. Tae took off his shirt & crawled into bed with him.

“I love you, baby,” he kissed his cheek. Kookie mumbled & rolled over to face Tae.

“I love you too,”

“I’m sorry. I’m doing the same thing to you that you did to me,”

“I guess you could say I deserve it,” Kookie yawned. Tae scooted closer to him & wrapped his arms around Kookie’s waist.

“We shouldn’t be trying to one up each other,” he said quietly.

“We are,” Kookie rested his chin on Tae’s head.

“Doesn’t make it right,”

“When will it end?” Tae asked.

“I guess when we quit sleeping with other people. Given that you love Jimin, I guess that’ll be never,” Kookie sighed.

“Do you remember when you first fell in love with me?” Tae asked.

“I already told you, when you handed me the flowers at my leaving ceremony. The way you smiled at me when you handed them to me made me feel like they were just from you. I wanted to kiss you. More than kiss you, I wanted to make out with you. I wanted to feel your skin on mine. I wanted to hear you whisper my name when I touched you. I knew in that moment that I never wanted to be with anyone else. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you & I was barely 18. I told myself that was stupid. I shoved it back in a corner of my brain with other things that could never happen. I did that for over 2 years. When I was having a bad day, I’d think of the way you smiled at me that day. Then it did happen & I royally fucked it up because I listened to everyone but myself. I didn’t trust myself when I should have. Now we’re here. I still want you to smile at me like that. I still want to feel your skin on mine. I still want to make out with you. I still want to hear you whisper my name when I touch you. I still want to spend the rest of my life with you, Tae. I love you,”

Tae felt like someone had stolen his voice.

“Yes,” he finally whispered.

“What?” Kookie asked.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you, too,” he whispered back. “Kiss me like you wanted to kiss me that day.”

Kookie pulled Tae on top of him & kissed him with the passion of years of waiting. Tae ran his hands through Kookie’s hair as he kissed him. Kookie thought about that day. He thought about the feeling deep in his gut telling him to kiss Tae. He thought about the way that smile made him feel. He thought about the feeling right now of Tae’s chest touching his. He kissed him deeper.  
Tae thought about what Kookie said about knowing he wanted to be with him forever with just one smile. Tae had fallen in love with Kookie in that same moment. He wanted to hold him. He wanted to feel Kookie’s hands on his body. He wanted to taste him. He wanted to feel his breath on his neck when they were in bed together. Then he let it go. That happened to Jin & Namjoon, not them. He’d be stuck wishing for something that would never happen.

Then it did.

As he ran his hands through Kookie’s hair & felt Kookie’s pulse in his own chest, a hole opened up in his heart. They’d betrayed each other. Hundreds of times. Somewhere along the line, those two starry eyed boys disappeared & someone else had taken their place. Why? For what? It hadn’t been worth it. None of it had been worth it. Tae pulled back & stared down at Kookie. Kookie looked up at him.

“You’re all I ever wanted, Jeon Jungkook. Since I could remember,” he smiled down at him.

“You too, Kim Taehyung. You too,” Kookie smiled back. Then Tae started kissing him again.

Jac smiled to herself, pulled the door closed, & walked softly back to her room.

 **February 12, 2019**  
**11:23pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Kookie pushed Tae up against the wall. He wrapped his hand around Tae’s throat.

“Is this what you want, baby?” Tae looked at him. “Is this what you really want?” Kookie pinned Tae against the wall with his entire body.

“Yes,” Kookie’s lips brushed against Tae’s. He started to squeeze.

Kookie shot up in bed. He’d been dreaming. His heart was racing & his skin was cold. Tae sat up next to him.

“What’s the matter?”

“I dreamed I was choking you,” he breathed. Kookie flexed his hands like he was trying to get feeling back in them. Or a feeling out of them.

“I’m fine. It was only a dream,” Tae rubbed Kookie’s back. “Everything’s fine.” Kookie looked at him.

“I haven’t wanted to do that in a long time,”

“Choke someone?” Kookie nodded. Tae rested his chin on Kookie’s shoulder. “Does that mean you need to be choked?”

“I don’t know,” Kookie was still trying to catch his breath.

“Do you want me to try?” Tae asked.

“What?”

“I don’t think I can do it like Hobi can, but I can try with my hand or something,” he suggested.

“Are you sure?”

“You have the same safe word, right?”

“Yeah,” Kookie replied.

“Then let’s try,” Tae told him. Kookie nodded. Tae straddled him & started kissing him. Kookie ran his hands up Tae’s back & into his hair. Tae nipped at Kookie’s bottom lip. Kookie tightened his grip on Tae’s hair. Tae kissed him harder. Tae grazed his fingers down Kookie’s sides. Then Tae made a choice.

“Let go of my hair,” he said.

“Did I hurt you?” Kookie jumped.

“No, just trust me,” Tae replied. Kookie let go of Tae’s hair & Tae kissed his way down Kookie’s neck. He rested his teeth on the crook of Kookie’s neck & licked.

“Do it,” Kookie gasped. Tae bit him. Kookie grunted & bucked. Tae kissed & licked his way across Kookie’s chest to the other shoulder.

“Harder this time,” Kookie told him. Tae bit him as hard as he was comfortable with to not draw blood. Kookie moaned. Tae kissed him again.

“Good?”

“Very,”

“Take off your pants so I can give you what you want,” Tae hissed in his ear. “All of it.”

“Am I still dreaming?” Kookie asked.

“Then that means I am, too,” Tae replied. “Come on, baby.”

_Holy fuck, this is sexy._

Tae got off him so Kookie could take off his pants. Tae took off his pants & tossed them into the corner. Kookie rolled over & Tae smacked his ass.

“I hope this is what you want, baby,” Tae said as he slid into him.

“I trust you,” Kookie said.

“Okay,” Tae started with long, drawn out strokes. He’d considered pounding him, but he wanted to torture him. He wanted to give him what he needed. If he was feeling the urge to choke someone, then he need to come hard. This would do more toward that than pounding him would any day of the week. Tae knew him. He knew everything about him.

“Fuck me harder,” Kookie said.

“Nope,” he replied.

“Why not?”

“Because you want me to make you beg. I want to hear you beg,”

“Please fuck me harder,”

“Nope,” Tae smiled. Kookie tried to move faster on Tae’s cock, but Tae had braced Kookie’s legs at an angle where he couldn’t get the best leverage. He’d practiced it with Jimin for over a week.

“I’m in charge, baby. Patience was never one of your strong suits,” Tae leaned over & ran a finger down the side of Kookie’s neck. Then he thrust into him as hard as he could. Kookie grunted.

“You’re a fucking sadist,” Kookie breathed.

“You know how to make me stop if you don’t like it,” Tae thrust into him again. “But I know you like it. You love it.” Kookie had started to pant. Tae ran his hands down Kookie’s chest & around his hips.

He went back to the slow strokes.

“Fuck, baby, finish me,”

“Now why would I do that when I’m not done having fun with you?” Tae thrust into him.

“How much begging do you want to hear?”

“How much more can you stand?”

“If I say please?”

“Maybe,” Tae leaned over onto Kookie’s back & wrapped his fingers around Kookie’s throat. “Want to try?”

“Please finish me,”

“Okay,” Tae thrust into him a few times & Kookie came. He arched his back & shoved his neck into Tae’s hand. He ground his ass onto Tae’s cock. It took everything he had to stay quiet. As Tae felt him buck & shudder under him, he knew he’d done it right. He’d had a hard time being dominant, but he’d done it. Kookie needed it. And Tae wasn’t overly keen on being choked in the middle of the night. Kookie collapsed off of him when he finished. Tae lied down facing him.

“Where did you learn that?” Kookie heaved.

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you,” Tae smiled.

“I see,” Kookie replied.

“Feel better?”

“Much,”

“Good. No more nightmares?”

“No more nightmares,” Kookie agreed.

 **February 15, 2019**  
**6:32pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Kookie unlocked the door to Jac’s apartment. It definitely didn’t look lived in. As he recalled, she’d only been over there once or twice to pick up clothes or other things that had gotten dropped off there. A clean slate.

It wasn’t the beach trip he & Tae had talked about last summer, but it was something. He’d told Tae to meet him at Jac’s apartment at 7:30 to help her move some stuff. Instead he was planning a weekend “staycation”. He’d gotten Jin to help him with some basic recipes (and a list of good takeout places). He thought he did a decent job grocery shopping by himself. He only had to ask for help twice. Now he just had to get set up & hope Tae didn’t show up early.

**7:37pm**

Tae opened the door to the apartment & noticed the lights were off.

“Kookie? Jac?” he called as he fumbled to find the switch. When he finally found it & turned on the light, he saw Kookie waiting for him on the couch.

“Where’s Jac? I thought we were helping her move stuff?” he asked as Kookie got up.

“She may have helped me tell a little white lie. I was hoping that you’d be interested in a weekend away from everyone. Jac offered to let us use here since she isn’t,” he told Tae.

“Just us?” Tae asked.

“Just you, me, & as little clothing as you want,” Kookie kissed him. “But we don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“It sounds wonderful,” Tae smiled. “Especially the clothing optional part.”

“I have to say, you without your shirt on is one of my favorite sights on the planet,” Kookie played with the hem of Tae’s shirt.

“Really?”

“Mmhmm,”

“In that case,” Tae pulled off his shirt & kissed Kookie. Kookie tried not to groan as he kissed him back.

“Why are you so hot?” Kookie breathed.

“Good genes,” Tae replied.

“I’m about to get you out of yours,”

“Not wasting any time, are we?”

“Do you want to wait?” Kookie asked.

“Hell no,” Tae pushed Kookie down on the couch & got on top of him. Kookie unzipped Tae’s jeans & grabbed his cock. Tae kissed him harder.

“Why do you still have all your clothes on?” Tae breathed in his ear.

“I was distracted by you with your shirt off,” Kookie replied.

“Well?”

“You’ll have to get off me first,”

“Ugh,” Tae rolled off of him & sprawled on the couch as Kookie took off his clothes. Then he knelt in front of Tae & pulled his jeans off. He kissed his way up Tae’s thigh to his crotch.

“When’s the last time I blew you, baby?”  
“I don’t remember,” Tae replied.

“Now the answer is tonight,” he grinned. Tae smiled back. Kookie took the tip in his mouth & lightly licked back & forth across the bottom. He worked his way down until he had all of Tae in his mouth. Then he carefully brushed his fingers over Tae’s thighs as he licked him.

“Holy fuck, baby,” Tae practically squirmed out of Kookie’s grip. Kookie pulled his head back a little & used his whole tongue around the shaft. Tae kept squirming & gasping. Kookie took his time with long, slow licks carefully timed with brushing Tae’s thighs. Tae shoved his whole cock into Kookie’s mouth. Kookie decided to try what he’d done with Hobi. He wrapped his lips around his teeth & lightly bit down. Tae came. Kookie held onto his thighs to keep him in place. Then, without warning, Kookie came, too. He remembered what Jac had said.

Your biggest sex organ is your brain.

Trying not to let go of Tae while he was coming proved to be a challenge. Tae finished first & Kookie was able to let go. He dropped his head onto Tae’s thigh when he finished.

“What happened?” Tae asked.

“I came,” Kookie tried to catch his breath.

“From giving me a blow job?”

“I guess,”

“Nice to know I don’t have to do any real work,” Tae tipped Kookie’s chin up to look at him & smiled. Kookie got up off the floor & sat next to Tae. Tae stretched out & put Kookie’s head on his chest.

“This was a good idea,” he said.

“Thank you,” Kookie replied as he ran his hand up & down Tae’s chest. “I know it’s not the beach trip we talked about.”

“I don’t like sand anyway. Too sticky,” Tae told him.

“True,”

“I love you, baby,”

“I love you, too,”

**8pm**

“Where’d we lose Kookie & Tae?” Hobi asked.

“Couples’ retreat,” Jac replied, flipping through suggestions on how to effectively run a classroom.

“A what?”

“I sent them to my place for the weekend to work on their relationship,” she told him.

“Seemed fine to me,” Hobi said.

“Really?”

“Okay, maybe it’s been better,”

“You enjoy your understatements,” she said as she made notes.

“Are you mad at me?” Hobi asked, sitting in front of her.

“I’m not mad at you, but you can be awfully dense sometimes,” Jac put down her pen. “Did you ever really want Tae involved in your marriage? Think very carefully before you answer me.”

“No,” after a long pause.

“Do you think Tae ever really wanted to be part of your marriage?”

“No,”

“Do you love Tae?”

“Not like that I don’t,”

“Did you love Kookie?”

“Not like that,”

“So in reality you’d be perfectly happy with just you & Jimin only with each other for the rest of your lives. Again, think before you speak,” she said.

“Yes,”

“I love y’all more than anything, but you think with your tiny heads way too damn much. I’ve had both of them come to me either in tears or almost in tears over something that happened between one of them & one of you two. Usually what the other one did with one or both of you. I don’t know what happened before I came along & I’m okay not knowing. What I do know is none of you are happy with what’s happening right now,” she told him.

“You don’t know that,”

“C’mon Hobes,”

He sat there & stared at her.

“They were really crying?”

“Yes,”

“About?”

“Not my business to tell, but I think you can narrow down the possibilities,” she replied.

“Go talk to Jimin,” Hobi said quietly.

“Why?”

“He’s the only one who can stop it,”

“You’re his husband,” Jac gave him a suspicious look.

“He’ll listen to you,” Hobi looked at her. “He’s in our room.”

**8:30pm**

Jimin was dozing in bed when he heard the knock. He’d gotten a lot better, but his energy level still wasn’t great. He picked up his head & saw Jac standing in the doorway. For being only 5’2”, she had a presence around her of someone much larger. Maybe that was just who she was.

“Come in,” he yawned. She sat on the bed next to him.

“I sent Kookie & Tae to my place for the weekend. I wanted to give them a chance to work on their relationship without us all up in their business,” she said.

“Okay,” he said.

“Hobi told me I needed to talk to you about why I had to do that in the first place,”

Jimin looked down at his lap.

“It wasn’t supposed to end up like this. I thought I could control it. I’m no better than Hobi was,”

“What are you talking about?”

“Hobi & I didn’t start out as boyfriends. We started out as Dom / Sub. I was 19 & he was 21. Last summer, Tae asked him to Sub for him & he said yes. Then Kookie asked him about a month later. He never asked me if it was okay. I was furious, but I didn’t know what to do. I knew Kookie was a virgin, so I slept with him before Hobi could. I claimed it was to help Hobi not have to completely break him in. Really I was just pissed & wanted to take that away from him. I felt so guilty. I lied when he found out. I lied about being okay with sharing him. I couldn’t stop lying. Then he let Kookie fuck him & I lost it. I threw him out of our room & almost left him completely. That was the 8 days I was talking about. Then Kookie showed up & was up for it, so I slept with him again. I really did want to make sure he wouldn’t hurt Tae. That part was true. I pushed Hobi into sleeping with him again because I was hoping that would drive a wedge between Kookie & Tae. It almost worked,” Jimin told her. Jac’s jaw was hanging open.

“Why?”

“I wanted to hurt Kookie for not saying no when Hobi told him to fuck him. I wanted everyone to hurt the way I hurt. I wanted them all to feel empty & only worth who was willing to fuck them. All because Hobi didn’t ask me if he could take other Subs. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why would I do that to the people I love? To people who love me?” Jimin was barely able to get the last few words out. He was sobbing so hard that he couldn’t breathe.

“Okay, breathe. We can fix this. It’s not permanent,” she put her arms around his shoulders. He buried his face in her neck & kept sobbing. She gently rocked them back & forth. “It’s not broken forever.”

“Why did I hurt them? Why did I hurt myself?”

“I can’t tell you that, but I can tell you that nasty little voice is telling you that you’re only worth who will fuck you,”

“What?” he looked up at her.

“The same one that tells you to throw up everything you eat or you’re not good enough or you don’t deserve what you have. You are worth so much more than who will fuck you, little one,” she smiled at him.

“Really?”

“I lie to a lot of people about a lot of things, but I won’t lie to you when I tell you that you’re a gift to this world. I will never sleep with you & if I’m lucky never see you naked, so I speak from an entirely non-sexual perspective. Yes, what you did was wrong. You’re not a bad person. You’re not worthless. On the contrary, you care a little too much sometimes. You care about Hobi, you care about your brothers, you care about me, & that takes a lot of energy. Do you ever stop & take care of Jimin? Or do you constantly run around tending to our needs?” He sniffed & she held out her sleeve.

“I don’t know,”

“You don’t. That’s how we ended up here. Let your husband spoil you, but don’t forget to take care of yourself, too,”

“Do I love Tae?”

“He asked me the same question about you,” she laughed a little.

“Really? What did you say?”

“I told him that it was possible, but probably the high of finally sticking it to Kookie. As it were,” she replied.

“So you don’t think so?” Jimin sat up a little & put his arms around her neck.

“I can’t tell you how you feel. If you think you love him, then don’t let my opinion get in the way,” she said.

“I told him I loved him. He said it back. Or maybe he said it first. I don’t remember,” he thought about it. “How do I know for sure?”

“Only you’ll know that. Shockingly, I don’t have all the answers,” she ruffled his hair.

“He said when I got better then we’d spend a whole week together having sex,” he said.

“This is the point at which I accept there is no such thing as an overshare in this house. Was Hobi okay with that?” she asked.

“Yeah,”

“What about Kookie?”

Silence.

“I thought so. I suggested a staycation to them so they could figure out what they wanted between the two of them. Whatever decision they make, you have to accept. No sabotaging. No lying. No tricking anyone. I’m not getting in the middle of this. I know how hard you are on yourself & I know you’re going to beat yourself up over this. Don’t do it. Talk to Hobi. Talk to me. Don’t bottle it up. I love you, Jiminie. You’re one of my babies. You made a mistake. Move on & do better next time,” she kissed the top of his head.

Do better.

“I love you too, Jac,” he gave her a squeeze.

“I’m going to send Hobi back in here. I think you two have a lot to talk about,” she said. He nodded. Jac got up & covered Jimin back up. Hobi was waiting anxiously in the living room.

“Well?”

“Good luck,” she patted his shoulder & went back to her work.

 **February 16, 2019**  
**9:20am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Tae felt Kookie’s lips on his cheek. He flailed a hand up & heard Kookie laugh.

“I kiss you to wake you up & you hit me?”

“More sleep,” Tae mumbled. They’d had sex twice before going to sleep close to 1am.

“Fine, if we must,” Tae could hear the smile in Kookie’s voice. Kookie cuddled behind him. He kissed Tae’s shoulder & settled back in. Tae pulled Kookie’s arms around his shoulders.

“I love you,” Tae yawned.

“I love you too, baby,” Kookie gave him a squeeze. “I’ll let you go back to sleep.” Tae buried his face in the pillow. Kookie felt the rhythm of Tae’s breathing change under his arms as he went back to sleep. He’d have to thank Jac for this idea. It was the first time in a long time he’d felt like he had at the beginning. No Hobi or Jimin. No choking or spanking. No choices that left each of them hurt for different reasons. It was feeling Tae in his arms after he got to explore every part of him like it was the very first time. It was the scent of his skin that Kookie wished he could bottle & carry around with him. It was hearing Tae say his name after the words “I love you”. Kookie nuzzled Tae’s neck. It should have always been this way. They’d somehow gotten lost in transit.

Tae was hovering in the space between awake & asleep. He felt Kookie’s nose in his neck. He let out a sigh & relaxed even more. For the first time in a long time, he was content. There was a difference between happy & content. Happy was opening up the Gucci bandanna that Kookie had gotten him. Content was lying in his arms like snuggling in a blanket he’d had for years. He didn’t need anything more. He didn’t want anything more. He wouldn’t object to another gift, but he was snuggled in Kookie’s arms with nothing weighing on his mind & that was perfect.

**11:25am**

“Clearly eggs are not your strong suit,” Tae said. Kookie had just burned the second batch of scrambled eggs he’d attempted.

“I think it might be takeout the rest of the day,” Kookie sighed.

“You tried,” Tae smiled. He hugged Kookie from behind. “That’s what matters.”

“If you say so,” Kookie turned around.

“I didn’t marry you for your culinary skills,” Tae kissed him.

“Marry me?”

“Isn’t that kind of what we agreed on last week? Spending our lives together. Or did I misunderstand?” Tae said.

“No, you didn’t misunderstand. I absolutely want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Kookie put his hand on Tae’s cheek.

“I can ask you outright if you want,” Tae told him.

“You don’t have to. We’ll have Jac come up with some scheme to get us actually married when we’re back in the US,” Kookie replied, kissing him.

“That could be years,” Tae said.

“I’m not going to change my mind,”

“Me neither,”

“Then what do you want to do about Hobi & Jimin? I mean, I only really, truly want you,” Kookie said.

“I love Jimin. I think? Maybe? I mean, the more I think about it, the less sure I am. Jac thought it was because I was happy to be getting back at you. He said it back when I said I love you,” Tae sat on the couch. Kookie sat next to him.

“You have to trust your gut, baby,” he said.

“That’s just it. I don’t have a gut feeling about this. I’m just confused,” Tae sighed & looked down at his hands. “Do I sleep with him again? How do I know for sure?”

“I don’t know,” Kookie replied. They looked at each other for a moment. “How about we enjoy right now & worry about them later?”

“Sounds good,”

“I noticed you don’t have your shirt on again,” Kookie said.

“I don’t,” Tae confirmed.

“You know what that does to me,”

“What does that do to you?”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my hands off you,” Kookie ran one hand up Tae’s chest & put the other on the back of his head. He leaned him down on the couch & kissed him. Tae reached up & rested his arms on Kookie’s shoulders. He wrapped his legs around Kookie’s as he kissed him. Kookie brushed his palms up & down Tae’s sides.

“Why are you so sexy?” Kookie kissed his collarbone. Tae shrugged. “I can’t even decide what I want to do to you.”

“How about you let me do something to you?” Tae nipped at Kookie’s lip.

“What did you have in mind, you little tease?”

“Now, when’s the last time I blew you?”

“I don’t remember since you’re so good with your hands,” Kookie grinned.

“The answer is this morning,” Tae smiled back at him.

“Then I’m all yours, baby,” Kookie kissed him as he got off of him.

“You’re always all mine, baby,” Tae replied. Kookie kissed him harder.

“I always will be,”

“I love you, too,”

Kookie got on his back on the couch & Tae got on top of him. He took his whole tongue & licked a circle around the tip. Kookie grunted. Tae smiled as he did it again.

“Don’t move or I’ll stop,”

“Oh fuck, that game?”

“You don’t think you can do it?” Tae grinned.

“Challenge accepted,” Kookie put his arm behind his head & looked down at Tae.

“Okay,” Tae licked his way up Kookie’s cock watching him the entire time. He closed his lips around the head & took a long, slow lick across the very tip. He saw Kookie’s jaw clench to keep from moving. Tae moved his tongue down & drew figure 8s under the head. Kookie started to pant. Tae reached up & curled his fingers around the shaft under his mouth. He moved his hand up & down as he licked.

“Holy fucking shit, Tae,” Kookie gasped. “Fucking finish me.” Tae saw Kookie clenching & unclenching his fists around his head. He drew it out a few more times just for his own amusement, then squeezed slightly as he sucked the tip. Kookie grabbed Tae’s hair when he came, shoving all of his cock almost down Tae’s throat. He writhed & screamed as he came. Tae held onto his hips to keep him from falling off the couch. Tae rested his chin on Kookie’s thigh when he finished & smiled at him.

“Good one?”

“Fuck, baby. I’m going to sleep the rest of the day,” Kookie’s chest heaved.

“So I’m supposed to take care of myself?”

“Never,” Kookie pulled Tae up to rest on his chest.

“I’ll wake you up to fuck me later,” Tae kissed him.

“Sounds fair,” Kookie replied.

“Good because it’s not a choice,”

They both laughed.

**7:30pm**

They’d spread out the takeout on the floor like a picnic. Jac had sent along a few of her wines, so Tae was pouring a red wine with a name they couldn’t pronounce into glasses.

“To a staycation,” Kookie raised his glass.

“Cheers,” Tae clinked his against Kookie’s. They sat next to each other as they loaded up their plates. They’d grudgingly put on clothes since they were eating. Kookie fed Tae a piece of chicken.

“Can we move in here & leave them there?” Tae asked.

“Sometimes I wish we could leave it all behind,” Kookie took a bite of an egg roll.

“Like our lives?”

“Yeah & just be normal,” Kookie said. “No 12 hour days, no pictures, no videos, no feeling like a show pony.”

“But I love riding you so much,” Tae grinned.

“You know what I mean,” Kookie said.

“Are you unhappy like this?”

“No, I guess since I never got to be a normal teenager I’d like to be normal eventually,” he shrugged.

“We’ll never be normal, Kookie. We’ll always be idols. Even when we’re old,”

“It was a thought,”

“I know. It’s a nice thought,” Tae kissed him. “How about we finish dinner, drink ourselves stupid, & make out like a couple of horny teenagers?”

“Sounds perfect,” Kookie put his hand in Tae’s lap.

“I only want you,” Tae said quietly.

“I only want you, too,” Kookie replied.

“Good,”

**11:45pm**

Tae stared up at the ceiling. Kookie was asleep next to him with his arm flopped over Tae’s chest. He had his head shoved into the crook of Tae’s neck & would periodically snore. It had been a good weekend. He’d enjoyed being alone with Kookie not just to have sex whenever they wanted, but not having to work around 6 other people & the noise that came with it. The more Tae thought, the more he’d come to a conclusion about Jimin.

He didn’t love him. He felt for him.

When Tae took care of him while he was sick, he felt for him. He felt deeply for him. His pain was so unbearable that he had to hurt himself. He had to slowly kill himself. There was no denying the sex was amazing. It was the best sex he’d ever had. It wasn’t the kind of sex that would fulfill him. He wasn’t sure if that even made sense. The only sex that would ever leave him fulfilled was with Kookie. Maybe it was because he’d wanted it for so long & when it finally happened, it was everything he’d imagined & then some. Maybe he & Kookie were just meant to be. He would never feel that way about Jimin. He would never look at him & feel whole. He would never touch him & feel that tingle deep in his gut. He would never fall asleep inside him because he couldn’t stand to pull out, not because he was too lazy or too spent. Jac had been right after all.

He didn’t love Jimin. He’d been mad at Kookie.

Now as he stared at the ceiling & listened to Kookie snore, he made a decision. No one was going to take care of him. No one was going to stand up for him. The one time he had stood up for himself, he felt like Kookie actually listened to him. He was the master of his own destiny. Not Kookie. Not Jimin. Not Hobi. Him. It was time to stop accepting things at face value. It was time to start asking questions & not stopping until he was happy with the answer. He could do this. He had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I fulfill my promise of things getting better? Also what do you thing of Tae's evolution from everyone's bitch to the one who was able to keep his head on his shoulders? Let me know if I did right by y'all. :)


	14. Mid / Late February

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background Music (if you’re so inclined):  
> “Mic Drop” BTS  
> “Cigarette Lighter Love Song” Marvelous 3  
> “Safe & Sound” Capital Cities  
> “All Hands On Deck” Tinashe

**February 17, 2019**  
**6:51pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“What I said before about not lying to you, I never lied directly to you. I honestly was concerned that Kookie would hurt you. I pushed Hobi into sleeping with him more to punish him for letting Hobi fuck him. Instead I ended up hurting you. When I realized that’s what happened, I decided to try & take Kookie’s place rather than admit what I’d done. I was so angry. I can’t even put into words how angry I was with Hobi & I hurt all of us in the process. I should’ve just talked it out with Hobi. I didn’t. I wanted you to know the truth before you made any decisions about us. Don’t waste your time loving someone who lies to you,” Jimin told him. Tae felt like he’d been slapped.

“You sabotaged us?”

Jimin nodded.

“Did you ever really love me?”

“I don’t know. I think so,”

“You either know or you don’t, J,” Tae replied.

“Kiss me,” Jimin said after a moment.

“What?”

“Then I’ll know,”

“I literally just got back from a weekend where Kookie & I decided to not be with anyone else,”

“Go ask him for permission. I’m not trying to trick you. I swear,” Jimin said. Tae didn’t know what to believe. Jimin had been behind all of their problems. Now he was asking for something that could come between them again.

“I’ll be right back,” Tae told him.

A few minutes later, Tae came back in with Kookie behind him.

“I’m going to watch,” Kookie told Jimin. “Because I don’t trust you.”

“That’s fair,” Jimin agreed. A tiny part of Kookie wanted to see if he was still turned on by watching Tae fuck someone else. A larger part of him truly didn’t trust Jimin. Jimin held all the cards & Kookie wasn’t okay with that. Kookie pulled over the desk chair & sat across from the bed. Tae leaned over & kissed Kookie.

“It’ll be fine, baby. I know what I’m doing,” he whispered.

“I trust you,” Kookie whispered back. Tae sat on the bed & kissed Jimin. Jimin crept his hand between Tae’s legs. He ran his hand over Tae’s crotch & Tae pushed his hips into Jimin’s hand. Tae pulled off Jimin’s shirt & rolled over on top of him.

“You want to see if you love me? How about I remind you what it feels like when I’m inside you,” Tae hissed in Jimin’s ear. “But I want your husband to watch, too. I want him to see what I can do to you.”

“Kookie, go get Hobi,” Jimin said without taking his eyes off Tae. Kookie got up without a word. “You want to do it this way?”

“You know you can’t stop yourself any more than I can. You know you’ll beg for it without saying a word,” Tae kissed Jimin’s neck. Tae was angry. He was angry at Jimin for manipulating him. He was angry at himself for falling for it.

“And you won’t?”

“I’m not the homewrecker. If I want to scream your name, I will. If I want to make you come in 30 seconds, I will. I don’t lie, Jimin. Not out there & not inside you,” Tae replied. “So don’t lie to me. I’ll know.”

Hobi & Kookie came back into the room to see Jimin & Tae engaged in a staring contest. It was a disturbing role reversal. Hobi & Kookie were the ones supposed to be staring each other down. They were both somewhere between confused & turned on. Hobi sat in the chair & Kookie sat in his lap. It was the first sign of non-aggression between them in almost 6 months. They had better things to do. They had a better show to watch.

“Now we have no secrets,” Tae said.

“No, we don’t,” Jimin replied. Tae kissed Jimin like he had the first time. He refused to hold back. If this was some kind of test that Jimin had designed, then there was no point in playing around. He was going to show Jimin what he could do. He was going to show him what he’d created.

Jimin yanked off Tae’s shirt. He wasn’t going to lie to him anymore. He couldn’t. He had to tear down that wall he’d built. Kookie & Hobi had to see the reality. If he was going to scream Tae’s name as he came, so be it. Maybe he loved him. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe it didn’t matter. All Jimin knew for sure was he was going to let Tae fuck him & see what happened. They pulled off their pants & Tae began massaging Jimin’s cock. Jimin breathed heavily into Tae’s neck.

“I’m not going to hold back,”

“Please don’t,” Jimin replied.

“Even if you come in 30 seconds?”

“No secrets, Tae,” Jimin rolled onto his stomach & put his ass up toward Tae’s crotch. Tae thrust into him & they both moaned.

“Fuck, J,” Tae dropped his head back. Jimin could barely catch his breath. Tae started thrusting into him & Jimin clutched the sheets. Tae dug his fingers into Jimin’s hips.

“Harder,” Jimin groaned & ground his ass onto Tae’s dick.

“Whatever you say, beautiful,” Tae leaned over & started pounding Jimin. He dropped his head & moaned louder. Tae felt him start to twitch. Tae went as hard as he could. He was almost there. Tae reached down & grabbed Jimin’s cock. Jimin came with only the slightest touch. Tae came a few seconds later. They bucked & screamed against each other. Jimin felt like it would never stop. Tae couldn’t breathe. When they finished, Tae pulled out backward & landed on his ass. Jimin fell forward onto the pillow. They were both sweaty & panting. As they looked over to see their partners’ reactions, they were surprised by what they saw.

Kookie had straddled Hobi & was making out with him. They both had their shirts off & Kookie was grinding hard into Hobi. Hobi’s hands were sliding up Kookie’s back into his hair. Jimin & Tae looked at each other.

“Huh?” Jimin breathed.

“Yeah,” Tae agreed.

Kookie tilted his head & kissed Hobi’s neck. Hobi leaned his head back to give Kookie maximum access. Kookie’s hands disappeared around Hobi’s back. As Hobi tilted his head back up, he noticed that Tae & Jimin had finished.

“Sorry, we were starting to feel left out,” he told them.

“Don’t let us stop you,” Jimin said. Tae nodded as much as he could muster. Kookie looked over his shoulder.

“You don’t mind, baby?”

“Sure,” Tae said. “Enjoy.”

“Thank you,” he went back to kissing Hobi. Tae managed to drag himself to the head of the bed & collapse next to Jimin.

“I guess it’s our turn to watch,” Jimin said.

“Looks like,”

The desk chair started to creak & Kookie got up. He took off his pants & pulled Hobi to the floor. Hobi wriggled out of his own pants on top of Kookie. He ground into Kookie as he kissed him. Kookie wrapped his arms around Hobi’s neck & laced his fingers in his hair.

“What do you want to do?” Kookie asked.

“I want to end this mess,” Hobi replied.

“What do you mean?”

“Fuck me,” Hobi licked Kookie’s ear. “Then we’ve come full circle in front of our partners. If you’ll pardon the turn of phrase.”

“Then I guess you’re getting fucked,”

“No Baby Dom, no Dom, just you & me,” Hobi said.

“Deal,” Kookie kissed him. “Show me that ass.” Hobi just smiled as he rolled over. Tae was idly running his hand down Jimin’s stomach as they watched. Hobi got up on his hands & knees & looked over his shoulder at Kookie. Kookie got up on his knees & slid into Hobi. He ran his hands up Hobi’s back & grabbed onto his shoulders. Then Kookie start pounding him. Hobi swayed his back & pushed against Kookie. Kookie reached up & grabbed Hobi’s hair.

“That all you got?” Hobi asked.

“Nope,” Kookie leaned on Hobi’s back & grabbed his cock. Hobi jumped. Kookie let go of Hobi’s hair, wrapped his arm around his chest, & kept thrusting as he used one finger to massage the bump under the tip. Hobi started to pant. Kookie stopped thrusting & focused his attention entirely on Hobi’s dick.

“Time to end this,” he said. He wrapped his whole hand around the shaft & with one long stroke & powerful thrust, Hobi came. He clawed at the carpet & bucked against Kookie. Kookie didn’t stop pounding him until he came. He somehow managed to hold them both up until he finished. He lowered them to the floor & rolled onto his back next to Hobi.

“The end?”

“Unless I ask for a birthday orgy tomorrow,” Hobi smiled at him.

“Now that sounds like fun,” Jimin said from the bed. He’d sat up a little & Tae was resting on his chest. “If we hadn’t just come, I’d suggest it now. Tae?”

“I think we’re all on the same page now,” he traced a circle around Jimin’s navel.

“Then I think it’s a date,” Hobi climbed on the bed next to Jimin & Kookie got on the other side of Tae.

“I’ll tell Jac we’re using her place again. I haven’t given her the keys back yet,” Kookie said, running a finger down Tae’s neck.

“I think everyone would prefer we do it there anyway. Then we can be as loud as we want,” Hobi kissed Jimin.

“You’re getting me hot & bothered again, my dear,” Jimin said.

“I can’t help myself,” Hobi grinned putting his hand between Jimin’s legs. “The thought of being as loud as I want when I’m fucking you…”

“What if I want you to fuck me?” Kookie asked.

“My birthday lasts all day,” Hobi replied.

“Then who do I get to play with?” Tae asked.

“You still owe me a week of sex,” Jimin told him. “I haven’t forgotten.”

“I guess I do. We’ll consider it a day off my debt,” he kissed Jimin.

“Is it tomorrow yet?” Hobi asked as he wrapped his arms around Jimin’s waist.

“Only 3 more hours,” Jimin looked over Tae’s shoulder at the clock.

“Too long,” Kookie sighed as he kissed up the back of Tae’s neck.

“Definitely,”

 **February 18, 2019**  
**Noon**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“Okay, birthday boy. How do we start?” Jimin asked as they entered Jac’s apartment.

“So many choices. Anyone have any ideas?” Hobi kissed Jimin & reached his hands down the back of his pants.

“Not really,” Kookie said. He was standing behind Tae kissing his neck. “Other than we all have too many clothes on.”

“I won’t argue with that,” Jimin began slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

“You fucking tease,” Hobi said. Jimin simply smiled as he got to the last button. He untucked his shirt & let it hang open.

“Who’s next?”

“I guess I’ll go,” Tae pulled off his tee shirt. “Baby?”

“Sure,” Kookie stepped out from behind Tae & unbuttoned his shirt. He tossed it on the floor.

“I get this fantastic view. Why would I want to take my shirt off?” Hobi grinned. He walked over & pushed Jimin’s shirt off his shoulders. He pulled his own shirt off. He leaned Jimin against the wall & kissed him intensely. Hobi felt a firm tap on his shoulder.

“May I cut in?” Kookie asked.

“What do I get?” he asked. Tae waved from the couch holding a bottle of expensive champagne.

“There’s more, of course,” Tae said.

“Of you or the champagne?”

“Both?”

“I think that’s a fair trade,” Hobi let Kookie get in front of him & went toward the couch. Kookie grabbed Jimin’s ass & pulled him closer. Jimin locked his arms behind Kookie’s shoulders as he kissed him. Kookie picked him up & Jimin wrapped his legs around Kookie’s hips. Kookie braced them against the wall. Jimin laced his fingers in Kookie’s hair & pulled his head back.

“Top or bottom?” he asked.

“I know you want to save yourself for Tae. How about you blow me?”

“With pleasure,” Jimin licked the side of Kookie’s neck. Kookie almost dropped him. Jimin uncrossed his legs & gracefully hopped back onto the floor. He turned Kookie around so he was leaning against the wall. Jimin pulled Kookie’s pants down with him as he got on his knees. He smiled up at Kookie as he took all of him in his mouth. Kookie groaned when he felt Jimin’s mouth on his dick. Jimin rolled his tongue & held it there. He flicked his tongue near the base. Kookie grunted. Jimin reached up & held on to Kookie’s hips. He extended his index fingers & began running them up & down Kookie’s sides as he licked.

“Fuck Jimin. You had to do that, didn’t you?” Kookie heard a giggle. Kookie put his hands on Jimin’s shoulders to brace himself. Jimin played with the tip with his tongue as he moved his fingers to right below Kookie’s navel. He moved his finger in loops under his navel & above the base of his cock.

“Oh god,” Kookie moaned. Jimin gave the tip one more flick & Kookie came. Kookie thrust hard into Jimin’s mouth. His arms shook as he leaned on Jimin’s shoulders. He was reasonably certain that he screamed Jimin’s name while he was coming. Jimin had earned it. When Kookie finished, Jimin stood up & braced them both against the wall. Kookie kissed him.

“You’re fucking amazing,”

“You’re welcome,” Jimin ran his hand down Kookie’s chest. “Now I’m going to let your boyfriend have his way with me.”

“Only if I get to watch,” Kookie replied.

“Of course,” Jimin kissed him again.

Tae popped open the bottle of champagne when Hobi sat on the couch.

“Took lessons from Jac?” Hobi asked.

“Maybe. She wouldn’t teach me the sword trick,” he replied.

“Probably for the best,”

Tae took a drink & handed it to Hobi. Hobi took a drink & leaned back.

“So what do you feel like doing?” Hobi asked.

“I have promised myself to your husband,” Tae replied.

“I guess that means you have to get me off,” Hobi replied.

“Such a hardship. I don’t think you’ve gotten the full experience of one of my hand jobs,”

“Oh really?”

“They keep Kookie quiet for hours,” Tae grinned.

“Then by all means treat me to this amazing hand job,” Hobi unzipped his jeans & Tae pulled out his dick.

“You want me to mess up these pants?” Tae asked.

“I guess I should take them off. Can’t go home naked because my pants are dirty,”

“I won’t make you feel so exposed,” Tae took off his pants & kissed Hobi as he wrapped his hand around his dick again. He began the ripple motion up Hobi’s shaft until he reached the tip. He lightly ran his index finger under the head. Hobi moaned. Tae switched & brushed his thumb over the top of the tip. Then he began the ripple motion again.

“Fuck you are good,” Hobi groaned.

“Thank you,” Tae kissed his neck & wrapped his arm around Hobi’s shoulders. Tae straddled one of Hobi’s legs & adjusted his grip. He made long, deliberate strokes as he kissed Hobi. Hobi shifted & squirmed under him. Tae kept the same steady pace.

“I hope you don’t mind getting a little messy,” Tae pulled back to look at him.

“I’m sure there are towels here,” Hobi replied.

“There are,” Tae confirmed.

“Then I couldn’t care less,” Hobi kissed him intensely. Tae smiled through the kiss, massaged the bump under the tip with his thumb & Hobi came. He thrust hard into Tae’s hand. Tae hung onto him & kept kissing him as he came. When he finished, Hobi had come all over both of their stomachs & Tae’s hand. Tae held out his hand & Hobi licked it.

“Well?” Tae asked.

“If you’re not careful, I’m going to start looking for you when I want someone to jerk me off,” Hobi sucked on one of Tae’s fingers.

“You’re welcome,” Tae smiled. “I’ll find a towel & then take my turn with your husband.”

“Perfect,” Hobi grinned.

**12:45pm**

Hobi & Kookie settled on the couch as Tae & Jimin got on the floor. Tae pulled Jimin on top of him. He ran his hands down Jimin’s back & grabbed his ass. Jimin bolstered his elbows on Tae’s shoulders as he kissed across his jaw.

“What am I going to do to you?” Tae asked as Jimin kissed under his ear.

“What do you want to do?” he asked as Tae squeezed his ass.

“I want to be inside you. I want to make you come. I want that amazing sex we were supposed to have,” Tae ran his hand across Jimin’s ass & slapped it.

“Then get inside me & make me come,” he replied, kissing him.

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Tae smiled. Jimin rolled off him & stuck his ass up. Tae got behind him & slid into him. Jimin moaned.

“Jesus Tae,”

“You ready, beautiful?”

“Fuck me,”

“Happily,” Tae began thrusting into him. Kookie reached down & started massaging his own cock. Hobi pushed Kookie’s hand out of the way & took over. Kookie reached his hand between Hobi’s legs.

“We’ll see, but I won’t stop you,” Hobi told him. Kookie wrapped his hand around Hobi’s dick & began stroking. Jimin began moving back & forth on Tae’s cock. Tae grunted.

“Fuck, J. You’re gonna make me come in about 2 seconds,”

“Maybe I’m impatient,” he replied. Tae responded by pounding into Jimin harder. Jimin twisted & moaned under Tae’s hands.

“Come for me, beautiful,” Tae traced a line down Jimin’s spine as he gave him one strong thrust. Jimin came in a fit of screaming & bucking. He ground his ass onto Tae’s dick as deep as it would go. That made Tae come. He clawed at Jimin’s back as he thrust into him. He fell on Jimin’s back when they finished. Then they heard Kookie come. Hobi had jacked him off while they were fucking. He came all over the floor. The whole apartment was going to be covered in bodily fluids. Hobi held his hand out to Kookie. Kookie sucked on one of Hobi’s fingers.

“Good boy,” Hobi smiled. Kookie still had his hand on Hobi’s cock. “Later.”

“Okay,” Kookie replied as Hobi kissed him.

“I think I need a nap,” Jimin yawned.

“Good idea,” Hobi agreed. Tae rolled off Jimin. They got up & went to the bedroom. Tae & Jimin faced each other with Kookie & Hobi cuddled behind them.

“Be ready for more when you wake up,” Hobi said.

“Mmhmm,” they replied.

**3:30pm**

Jimin was woken up by a tongue flicking the tip of his cock. He opened his eyes & saw Hobi between his legs.

“Time to wake up, Jiminie,” he smiled.

“Already?” Jimin asked. Hobi closed his lips around the end of Jimin’s dick.

“Mmhmm,”

“Where are Kookie & Tae?” he asked as Hobi rolled him onto his back. Hobi shrugged as he licked a circle around the head.

“Hobi- _hyung_ are you trying to put me back to sleep?” Jimin asked, putting his hands in Hobi’s hair.

“You could stop talking & enjoy me pleasuring you,” Hobi picked up his head & grinned at Jimin.

“I could, but I could also want to see what they’re up to,”

Hobi snaked up Jimin’s body & held himself up over him.

“You don’t want just your husband?”

“I always want you, but it’s not your birthday every day,” Jimin kissed his nose.

“That’s true, shall we go find my other birthday guests?” Hobi asked.

“I think so,” Jimin replied as Hobi helped him out of bed & they went down the hall.

Tae & Kookie were back in the living room. Kookie was sitting on the couch with Tae in his lap facing him. Tae was grinding hard onto Kookie as he kissed him. It didn’t take long for Hobi & Jimin to realize that Kookie’s dick was up Tae’s ass. They sat on the bar stools across from the couch to watch.

“Sorry, we couldn’t wait,” Kookie breathed when he saw them.

“By all means,” Hobi waved them on. Kookie put his hand in Tae’s hair & started thrusting up into him. Tae grunted.

“Fuck baby,” Tae moaned into Kookie’s neck.

“More?”

“Yes,” he tilted his head back. Kookie licked up the front of Tae’s throat as he thrust harder. It wasn’t easy sitting down, but each thrust jarred Tae to his core. Tae began to move against him. He felt his whole pelvis start to shake. Kookie thrust into him & Tae came. He exploded over both of them. Kookie hugged him to keep him from falling backwards. Tae bit Kookie’s shoulder. That made Kookie come. He pounded into Tae even more as he came. They collapsed back on the couch when they finished.

“Think we can do better?” Hobi looked at Jimin.

“Maybe,”

“What do you say to a little throwback?” Hobi pulled Jimin up & put his lips by his ear.

“Such as?”

“You call me sir while I spank that perfect ass of yours,”

“I’d say yes sir…” Jimin grazed his fingers down Hobi’s chest. Hobi smacked Jimin’s ass.

“On the floor,”

“Yes sir,” Jimin kissed under Hobi’s jaw as he lowered himself to the floor. He rolled onto his stomach & Hobi kneeled next to him.

“How many should I give you?” he asked.

“It’s your birthday, sir. As many as you’d like,” Jimin smiled at him. “Though might I suggest 25?”

“How about 26? For luck?” Hobi ran his hand over Jimin’s ass.

“Whatever pleases you, sir,”

“This pleases me,” And he smacked him. Hobi would never get sick of that sound. He got harder with each smack. Jimin was counting for him & eventually Kookie & Tae joined in. By the time he got to 26, Hobi was convinced his cock was going to explode.

“And now I’m going to pound you,” he ran a finger down Jimin’s spine.

“Please do, sir,” Jimin pushed himself up & Hobi thrust into him. He started going almost full force. Jimin groaned & writhed against him.

“Harder,” he breathed.

“Harder…?”

“Harder sir,” he said. Hobi tightened his grip on Jimin’s hips & fucked him as hard as he could. He was trying to hold off as long as he could so Jimin would come first. They may have been playing Dom / Sub, but Jimin always came first in Hobi’s world. Literally & figuratively. Hobi reached down & grabbed Jimin’s cock. He took his index & middle fingers & alternated moving them back & forth on the head. Then he felt the tickle.

Jimin bucked & thrust back onto Hobi’s cock as he came. His chest heaved & he scratched at the carpet. Hobi finally let himself go. He came like he hadn’t in weeks. He dug his fingers into Jimin’s hips as he threw his head back. They rolled away from each other after they finished, a move they’d done hundreds over the years. Jimin looked at Hobi & started laughing. Hobi smiled & laughed back.

“What’s funny?” Tae asked.

“You’ll understand when you’re older,” Jimin replied.

**5:51pm**

“Well, well, we weren’t expecting you back before you turned into horny pumpkins at midnight,” Jac said when Hobi, Jimin, Tae, & Kookie walked through the door.

“We decided to put on clothes & spend at least a little time with you before we go back to fucking each others’ brains out,” Hobi kissed Jac on the cheek.

“Love you too, Hobes,”

“So the rest of us are an afterthought?” Yoongi gave him a look.

“I’d invite you, but…”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Yoongi held up his hand.

“Where are Mom & Dad?” Kookie asked.

“In their room with the door closed. I didn’t ask,” Jac told them.

“Are they okay?” Tae asked. “I mean they’re not going to break up, are they?”

“If this is the first trouble they’ve had in 5 & a half years, then I wouldn’t worry too much. Every couple has problems. It’s normal,” she said.

“It’s normal for us, not them,” Tae said. The others nodded.

“I’m not barging in on them to see if I need to mediate something. They’re big boys. If they ask for my help, then I’ll help them,” she replied.

“Check & see if they want cake before we leave again?” Jimin asked. Jac stared at five desperate faces.

“Fine,” she gave an exasperated sigh.

“Thank you, Jacie,” Hobi squeezed her shoulders.

“You better fucking have a cake out here when I get back,” she glared.

“Yes _nuna_ ,” Kookie nodded.

Jac walked down the hall & knocked on Jin & Namjoon’s door.

“Cake time. The pervy circus showed up wanting carbs,” she said through the door.

“One second,” she heard Jin. He cracked open the door & she could tell he’d been crying.

“Is Joon in here, too?” she asked. He nodded.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure,” Jin opened the door enough for her to squeeze through it. Namjoon was facing away from the door sitting on the bed. She saw a dent in the wall about the size of a fist. How had they not heard that?

“Not that it’s my business, but what the hell is going on here?” she asked. She was met with silence. “If you don’t tell me then I’m going to start guessing.”

“I asked for a divorce,” Jin said quietly.

“What? Why?” Jac stared at him.

“While you were gone, we couldn’t resolve anything. All we did was yell. Now you’re back & we still can’t stop yelling at each other. Why stay together if we’re both unhappy?” he said.

“I’m not unhappy,” Namjoon snapped from the corner. “I’m pissed that you won’t talk to me.”

“Okay let’s everybody take a breath & rewind. Jin sit,” Jac took his hand & sat him on the edge of the bed. “Joon, turn around.” He grudgingly turned around to look at her.

“I think I’ve done you two a disservice,” she told them.

“What do you mean?” Jin asked.

“I forgot you’re boys in your 20s who sometimes need a little love & reassurance, too. I’ve put all my energy into the maknae line & Yoongi that I forgot about you two. You missed me too & I put an unfair burden on Jin when I told him what I was planning. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that, but it’s too late now. Don’t blame Jin for that, Joon. Blame me. Be pissed off at me. I deserve it, not him,” she told them.

“Didn’t I make you promise to be happy or I’d charge you for your wedding, Jin? Not only will I charge you, I also don’t do divorces. Y’all have never really fought before. I can tell. I’m sorry I neglected you two in favor of your brothers. So now’s your chance. Cuss me out, tell me what you’ve been thinking but haven’t said, but for the love you’ve been thinking but haven’t said, but for the love of god don’t take it out on each other,”

Namjoon didn’t say anything. He jumped across the bed & tackled Jac into a hug.

“I missed you so much,” he cried into her shoulder. “I know I don’t show it very well, but I love you too. I guess because we worked together differently maybe people thought I didn’t care as much. I love you just as much as they do. Maybe I should’ve shown it more. I tried too hard to be the leader. I tried too hard to be brave for everyone else. I never got to be sad.”

“You’re squishing me,” she patted his back & he sat up a little. “Time to play Cuddle Jac’s Armpits.” She extracted herself from Namjoon’s grip & scooted up to the head of the bed. She held out her arms.

“Pick a side,” she told them. Jin leaned into her left side & Namjoon took the right. Jin hugged her waist & Namjoon rested his arms around her neck. “You may continue. Shirts can be washed.” Neither of them said anything else. They simply cried. And Jac let them.

**6:45pm**

“What’s going on in there?” Hobi looked down the hall toward Jin & Namjoon’s room. “I don’t hear any screaming.”

“Of any kind,” Yoongi added. Kookie elbowed him. “Ow!”

“Don’t say stuff like that,”

“So I get subjected to you screaming Tae or Jimin’s name regularly, but I can’t imply that they’re having sex?” Yoongi gave him a look.

“Jac’s in there,”

“Don’t want to think about your sister naked?” Yoongi poked him.

“I don’t want to think about any of them naked,” Kookie poked him back.

“And yet…”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Tae said.

“Who died & made you the grown up?” Yoongi pulled out his cigarettes & winked as he went onto the balcony. Hobi got up & walked out after him.

“Bet you didn’t count on this as part of your birthday festivities,” Yoongi said as he lit his cigarette & pulled the blanket around him.

“I guess it had to happen sooner or later. Do you really think it’s that bad? Like divorce bad?” Hobi wrapped himself up in the other blanket.

“I mean, they’ve been together a long time. Would they really toss it out the window over a couple weeks?”

“Would you?”

“Dude, I dunno. Jac & I have only been together as in on the same continent for two months total. I’d like to think I wouldn’t. I’d like to think we could look past our current issues & remember why we love each other,” Yoongi took a drag.

“I’d hope Jimin & I could. We already survived one fight. I guess Jin & Joon don’t fight like we do,” Hobi sighed.

“You mean at all?”

“Jin told me they had a fight once that resulted in one of them sleeping on the floor. He said he didn’t remember what it was about, though,” Hobi replied.

“You believe him?”

“Why would he lie?”

“Why would he forget what a fight that resulted in alternate sleeping arrangements was about?” Yoongi shrugged. Hobi couldn’t argue with that logic. He would always remember what caused Jimin to kick him out.

“Maybe it was too personal? You know Jin isn’t exactly the sharing type,” Hobi said.

“Maybe,” Yoongi replied.

“Okay, now you’re acting like you know something that I don’t,”

“I might happen to know what that fight was about & I might happen to know why it could be relevant to whatever is going on now,” Yoongi tapped the last bit of ash off his cigarette.

“Well?”

“Jin wanted to leave the group. He’d made pretty serious plans to do it. I knew because he’d asked my advice on if he should stay or go. I told him that I thought he should stick with it, but if he truly wasn’t happy then he needed to move on with his life. Joon found out that he asked my advice instead of his & lost it. He was upset that Jin wanted to leave & that he hadn’t even asked him what he thought. Jin said he didn’t want Joon to think he was trying to leave him which is why he didn’t say anything. They went back & forth for about a week until finally Jin decided to stay. I told him that he needed to talk to Joon going forward. I wasn’t going to help him if he hadn’t talked to Joon first,” Yoongi explained.

“So you think this is the same thing?”

“Somebody didn’t tell somebody else something when they should have & now somebody is butthurt over it. If you’ll excuse the expression,”

“Think it’ll be okay?” Hobi asked.

“If it’s Jac, it’ll be fine. She’s magical, remember?” Yoongi smiled as he put out his cigarette. “Let’s go back inside. I’m freezing my nuts off.”

When they got back inside, Jin & Namjoon were out with everyone else in the living room. Both of them looked like they’d been crying.

“Well?” Hobi looked at Jac.

“All is right with the world,” she said. “Horny pumpkin.”

“I love you too, Jacie,” he hugged her.

“Happy birthday, Hobes,” she hugged him back.

**11:06pm**

Jin stared at Namjoon. His whole heart hurt. He wanted to take back everything he’d said & done in the past month. So much had gone wrong so fast. He hated himself for asking for a divorce when he knew that wasn’t what he wanted. It was the only thing he could think of to say.

“Forgive me?” he asked quietly.

“Yes, I forgive you,” Namjoon whispered back. He took his husband gently in his arms & held him. “Forgive me?”

“Always,” Jin replied. Namjoon kissed the side of Jin’s head. They were both fighting back more tears.

“I love you, Jin,”

“I love you, Joon,”

“Remember our first kiss?” Jin asked.

“That almost turned into our first time?” Namjoon laughed a little.

“I don’t think I’d ever wanted to kiss someone that badly in my life,”

“Me too,”

“I think you may have even told me how badly you wanted to fuck me,” Jin rested his head on Namjoon’s shoulder.

“And then you ended up fucking me the first time,” Namjoon rubbed Jin’s back.

“Age before beauty,”

“I was not beautiful with that hair,” Namjoon told him.

“You say that like I was looking at your face,” Jin smiled.

“Kim Seokjin, did you just admit to looking at my ass more than my face?” Namjoon nudged Jin’s head with his shoulder. Jin looked up at him.

“It’s a very nice ass to look at & I was put behind you in formations a lot. I really had no choice,”

“You dirty little boy,” Namjoon kissed him. “I had no idea.”

“I still check you out. You just don’t notice. Neither do the kids,” he kissed him back.

“Does Jac?”

“I haven’t done it since she’s been here, but I’m sure she will when I do. She sees everything, remember?”

“Maybe I need to start checking you out,” Namjoon replied.

“My ass isn’t my best feature,” Jin said.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Namjoon smiled. “Right now all I want to see is you out of those clothes & on our bed.”

“Is that an order?” Jin asked.

“A very respectful request. Don’t worry, I’ll be out of my clothes & on the bed, too,” Namjoon kissed Jin passionately. He’d hated fighting with him. It cut him to the core. He’d hated sleeping facing away from each other. He’d hated not speaking to each other as they got ready for bed. He’d hated not kissing Jin’s neck while he brushed his teeth because he knew it bothered him, but not really. He’d hated not waking up with Jin’s head on his pillow instead of his own. He’d hated it all, but had no idea how to fix it.

Namjoon pulled off Jin’s shirt & Jin pushed down Namjoon’s pants. He slid his hands up the back of his shirt & tugged it off as they fell on the bed. Jin tossed his pants across the room. Namjoon lied on top of him, kissing him & touching him like the day he had in the rehearsal room. He couldn’t decide what part of him he wanted to feel the most, so he touched all of him. Namjoon felt the cold spot of Jin’s wedding ring on his back. How did they let themselves get so far off track? How did they forget how to talk to each other? When had they decided that sniping at each other was easier than admitting they were hurt or insulted? He decided he never wanted to go through that again & kissed Jin harder.

Jin pushed his hips up into Namjoon’s as he kissed him. He remembered the first time he kissed him. Namjoon had pushed him up against the mirrors instead of the wall. They were already sweaty from hours of rehearsal & they smeared sweat & handprints all over the mirror as they kissed & pawed at each other. They’d tried to clean it as best they could before the others got back & hadn’t done a very good job. Jin looked at the messy mirror for the rest of rehearsal & felt an uncomfortable heat in his pants when he did. A few days later they had sex in the storage room. That sealed it for both of them.

“I love you,” Jin breathed.

“I love you too,” Namjoon replied. He kissed Jin’s neck down to his collarbone. Jin brushed his hands through Namjoon’s hair. Namjoon started kissing down Jin’s chest.

“And where are you going?” Jin asked.

“To do something I haven’t done in a long, long time,” he replied.

“Which is?”

“Sucking that wonderful cock of yours,” Namjoon grinned. Jin put his arms behind his head.

“It has been a long time. Years?”

“Mmhmm,” Namjoon trailed his fingers around the base of Jin’s dick. “You ready?”

“If you’re as good as you used to be, I can’t wait,” Jin smiled.

“I might be a little rusty, but I’ll do my best,”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine,”

Namjoon flicked the tip of his cock with the very tip of his tongue. Jin jumped. He slowly licked all the way up the length still only using the tip of his tongue. When he got back to the head, he closed his lips & used his whole tongue to lick up & down again. Jin began to squirm & moan. Namjoon held onto Jin’s hips as he played with the tip. Jin started the thrust into Namjoon’s mouth. Namjoon responded by taking almost his entire length. He took one hand & brushed his fingers on the inside of Jin’s thigh. Jin bucked.

“Fuck, Joon,” he gasped. Namjoon did it again on the other side. Jin thrust into Namjoon’s mouth again. Namjoon backed off & played with the tip again. Jin started to pant. Namjoon felt his thighs tighten up. He was close. Namjoon grabbed onto Jin’s hips again & took all of Jin in his mouth. He put his whole tongue on Jin’s cock & slowly pressed his teeth down. Jin came. He arched his back & screamed. He pulled Namjoon’s hair as he thrashed under him. Namjoon hung onto him & moved with him. When he finished, Jin fell back onto the pillow. Namjoon pulled himself up next to Jin.

“Someone didn’t keep his voice down,” Namjoon teased.

“I couldn’t help it. That was fucking amazing,” Jin replied.

“You’re welcome,” Namjoon smiled.

“I may make you do that every night,” Jin kissed him.

“If you want me to blow you breakfast, lunch, & dinner I will. I love making you scream. Out of pleasure, that is,” he replied.

“Don’t you want anything?” Jin asked.

“Just you, my love,” Namjoon replied. “Just you.”

 **February 22, 2019**  
**7:02pm**  
**Hong Kong, China**

Jac tucked her dress under her as she sat in what she’d dubbed the “friends & family” section of the audience. She was in a Cinderella style ball gown because this was THE awards show. As such, it was the first time she wasn’t sitting with the boys at an awards show. They’d all been upset about that. They were sitting among the other groups so the cameras could get better reaction shots. She was sitting between two of the staff members who she didn’t know particularly well. At least she wasn’t stuck between two who didn’t like her. Her dress was taking up some of their leg space.

“Sorry,” she sighed. “I didn’t pick it.” They nodded placidly.

Kookie caught her eye & waved. She smiled & waved back. He nudged Tae & got the rest of their attention. She gave them all a thumbs up.

 _This blows_ she thought.

Their performance was mixed in the middle of the show. Jac rarely watched them perform from the audience. She sung along & smiled as they put on their stage personas. Kookie, her _maknae_ , hit every move hard. Tae & Jimin couldn’t keep their tongues in their mouths. Hobi & Yoongi were playing off each other. Namjoon & Jin kept to the sides, coming forward when it was their turn.  
Her heart was full as she listened to the crowd cheer for her little brothers & her boyfriend. She knew how hard they worked & what they put themselves through to get to this point. She’d only been with them for 4 months, but it felt like a lifetime. It wasn’t simply a product of being stuck with each other on planes & in hotels. She’d known when she met them that these 7 boys would change her life. When 7 confused & slightly terrified faces appeared in front of her that morning, Jac knew her life would never be the same. There was no logical reason they should’ve retained her for the duration of the tour based on a single interview. Her dad hadn’t pulled any strings or made any calls. They simply approached her after the show & asked if she was looking for a long term gig. She’d said yes & inadvertently become the 8th member of BTS. Life was weird. Life was really fucking weird.

They finished their performance, cleaned themselves up, & accepted 3 awards in a row. Then came Artist of the Year. Jac crossed her fingers. The presenter kept rambling in Chinese. She caught a few words, but not many. He finally switched to English.

“Artist of the Year goes to…”

She closed her eyes.

“BTS!”

Jac jumped up & screamed at a pitch reserved for dogs. The boys stumbled their way to the stage. They looked just as shell shocked as the first time they won. Jac applauded & cheered. Hobi took the trophy first & stared it for a moment.

“As always, thank you ARMY. We couldn’t do this without you. All your support & your love give us the strength to keep going. There was a time we never thought this was possible. We never thought we’d make it this far,” he started to sniffle. “But we did. Now we’re here & thank you for being with us. Just...thank you.” He wiped his eyes & handed the trophy over to Kookie. Jimin grabbed Hobi into a hug & Jac saw his shoulders start to shake. Kookie was blinking furiously like he was trying not to cry.

“Thank you to our families who couldn’t be here with us tonight. Also thank you to Julia Candler who has gotten us through many places in the world that we couldn’t have gone without her,” he gestured in Jac’s general direction & the camera stopped on her. She smiled & waved. “Our bond as brothers help us give the best we can to ARMY & the world.”

He stepped back & handed it to Tae. Tears were already rolling down his face. He wiped his eyes. Kookie rubbed his back reassuringly. Jac started to tear up.

“This award means so much to us that it’s hard to put into words,” he sniffed. “We hope to live up to what it means & keep being the best we can for ourselves & our fans.”

 _Fuck_. Jac was helpless when Tae cried. She tilted her head to the side & wiped her eyes to avoid smearing her eye makeup. She didn’t even hear what Namjoon said. When they ushered them offstage, Jac couldn’t stop fidgeting. She had to hug them. She had to congratulate them. She had to not be sitting here in this stupid dress. She checked her phone every 2 minutes waiting for the show to end. It finally ended half an hour later which felt more like 3 days. Like Cinderella at 11:59, she pushed her way out of the row & ran toward her princes. Tae still hadn’t quite pulled himself together. He held out his arms as she came careening toward him.

“Hey TaeTae, I’m so proud of you,” she hugged him as he held her up.

“Why are you crying?” he asked.

“Something in my contacts,”

“You don’t wear contacts,” Yoongi said.

“Then I sneezed,” she replied.

“Can we go home now?” Tae put her down, but held onto her shoulders.

“We’ll go back to the hotel soon,” she said.

“Pizza trip?” Hobi asked.

“Sure,” Jac laughed.

**10:28pm**

“Could they have put me in a bigger dress?” Jac complained as she unzipped it.

“You could probably hide at least Jimin & me under there,” Yoongi said as he took off his jacket & loosened his tie.

“Just you two? Hell, I could easily put Jin under there, too,” she pulled on her pajama pants & an ancient Auburn tee. Yoongi changed into shorts & a sweatshirt. Jac had arranged to have pizza delivered since they decided they were too tired to sneak out, but still wanted pizza. They went down to Jin & Namjoon’s room. Tae & Kookie practically pounced on Jac when she got through the door.

“Hold on. Let me get situated,” she said. She sat on the couch & they put their heads in her lap. Tae was on her right side with his face practically shoved in her stomach & Kookie was on her left side closer to her knee facing away from her. She started scratching their heads.

“Better?” she looked down at them. They nodded.

“We love you,”

“I love you, little ones,” They were asleep in less than 5 minutes.

“Whose head gets used as a table?” Hobi asked.

“Tae’s closer,” she said.

“He’s had worse things in his hair than pizza,” he said.

“Ew,”

**11:45pm**

Tae woke up when he felt Jac’s leg move.

“Up you go, little ones. Mom & Dad want to go to bed,” she scratched his head. He looked up at her. She smiled back at him. Kookie was stretching & waking up behind him.

“Stay?” he yawned.

“Let’s at least get you back to your room & my legs are asleep,” she replied. They got up & she shook out her legs. Yoongi helped her up.

“ _Nuna_ duty,” she said to him.

“Understood,” he kissed her.

“Come on,” she said to Kookie & Tae. She shook her legs every few steps as they walked down the hall. It seemed like they spent all their time in hotels. She settled on the bed with her legs stretched out & they sat on either side of her. Tae hugged her waist & Kookie put his arms around her neck.

“What’s the matter? Aren’t you happy that you won?” she said.

“They yelled at us,” Kookie said.

“They who yelled at you for what?”

“We wanted you to sit with us. We told the people running the show that you sat with us before. They said that only groups were allowed to sit there. I told them that we needed you to translate for us. They said we didn’t need a translator. I tried to get up & get you anyway because you would’ve done that. They yelled at me & told me that if I moved you into the group section that they’d disqualify us. So I sat back down,” Tae told her.

“First of all, they couldn’t disqualify you for trying to change a seat. That aside, I appreciate you trying to emulate me, but there’s something called picking your battles,” she replied.

“What does that mean?” Kookie asked.

“What’s worth fighting over & what isn’t. Having me sit next to you isn’t worth getting in trouble over. I would’ve loved to sit next to you, but sometimes I can’t. That’s okay. I’m still there. I’ll still find you & love on you when you win,” she kissed the top of Tae’s head.

“What is worth fighting over?” Tae asked.

“If they made me stay behind. I had to watch you on TV once. That was one too many times,” she told them. She ruffled Kookie’s hair with her nose.

“Don’t leave,” Tae hugged her harder.

“I won’t. You’re stuck with me,” she smiled.

“Can you sleep with us?” Kookie asked.

“I didn’t think you were the threesome with a girl types,”

“In the bed,” he huffed.

“Since when are you two so needy?”

“The last time we were in a hotel with you was the night before we left the US,” Tae told her.

“Ah, I understand,” she inched her arms around their backs & gave them a squeeze. “When you get on the plane in the morning, I’ll be with you. I won’t leave you again, little ones. I promise.”

“Good,” they said.

“You get to explain to Yoongi why he’s sleeping by himself tonight,” she said.

“Fine,” Kookie said. Jac got under the covers with Kookie hugging her back & Tae facing her. Once again, she was the meat in a maknae sandwich.

“Good night, little ones,”

“Good night, Jac,”

“I promise I’ll be here in the morning,” she said.

“Okay,”

Jac stayed awake long after they fell asleep wondering what she’d done in a previous life to end up here. And what she had to do to keep it.

 **February 25, 2019**  
**1:48pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Jimin sat on the couch & Tae straddled him. He curled his fingers in Jimin’s hair & Jimin lightly ran his hands down Tae’s bare back as they kissed.

“I guess this takes it down to 5 days,” Tae said between kisses. Jimin stopped & looked at him.

“Is this some kind of obligation? Do you not want to do this?” he asked.

“No, that’s not what I meant at all. I meant we only have 5 days left of a week of amazing sex that I promised you,” Tae replied.

“That doesn’t really clear it up,” Jimin said. Tae remembered that Jimin could & would manipulate anyone to get what he wanted. He pulled Jimin’s head back a little & looked down at him.

“What do you want, J? You said you wouldn’t lie to me again,”

“You. I want you,” Jimin replied. Tae knew he was telling the truth. He’d felt him relax under him.

“Why?”

“I love you. This time I’m sure,” Jimin replied. Still telling the truth. Tae felt like he’d taken a baseball bat to the gut. He’d put thinking about his feelings for Jimin on hold. He’d settled happily on fucking him when given the chance. He was beautiful. He was an amazing fuck. He was also willing to do pretty much anything to get what he wanted. Tae wasn’t sure he could love someone like that.

He also knew that you can’t control who you love. And the lengths you’ll go to for them.

“I don’t know,” Tae said. “I thought I knew, but I don’t.”

“How could you find out?” Jimin asked.

“I have no idea. Trusting you to not lie to me is a good first step,” he said.

“I won’t. I told you before that I didn’t want you wasting your time on someone who lies to you,”

“You were going to lie to me,” Tae pointed out.

“It wouldn’t have been for long,” Jimin replied. Tae put his lips next to his ear.

“It’s still a lie,”

“I’m trying, Tae. I’m trying to tell the truth up front. Can you believe that much?” Tae felt Jimin’s fingers moving behind him. He was twisting his wedding ring. He was anxious.

“What can’t you handle? Not lying or how you feel about me?”

“Can it be both?” Jimin asked. Tae leaned back up to sitting. He met Jimin’s eyes. Jimin’s breathing had changed & he’d started sweating. He was desperately trying not to look away. “Please believe me.”

“I believe you,” Tae said after an uncomfortably long silence. Jimin curled in on himself & rested his head against Tae’s chest.

“Thank you,” he may have been a master manipulator, but he wasn’t *that* good of an actor. Tae put a hand on his back.  
“Maybe we need to rest a bit. I think this killed the mood,” Tae said. Jimin nodded against Tae’s chest. Tae got up & helped Jimin up. He put an arm around his waist & brushed his fingers against Jimin’s cheek. “I promise I’ll have an answer for you before we leave tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Jimin kissed him & Tae felt that familiar shot of electricity down his spine.

_Shit._

**5:09pm**

When Jimin woke up, Tae was cuddled under his chin with his arm across Jimin’s chest. Jimin had wrapped one of his arms behind Tae’s back. This was their favorite sleeping position. Even though Tae was taller, he’d always preferred to rest his head where he could hear Jimin’s heart. Jimin loved feeling the weight of Tae’s arm on his chest. He loved feeling the heat of his body pressed against his side. He loved feeling Tae’s hair tickle his chin when he moved. He loved him. And he was going to lose him because he couldn’t stop himself from lying to get what he wanted. He’d tried to sabotage Tae & Kookie’s relationship once. He wasn’t going to do it again. He had to do this right. As he hugged Tae tighter Jimin made a promise to himself. He wasn’t going to lie to him. He couldn’t if he was going to keep him.

Tae stirred & rubbed his head under Jimin’s chin. Jimin rested his cheek on Tae’s head.

“Have a good nap?” he asked.

“Mmhmm,” Tae yawned. “I dreamed about us.”

“Was it a good dream?”

Tae rolled over & propped his chin up on Jimin’s chest.

“I dreamed that we were alone on a beach like the one we used to film at. You had your pink hair & I was chasing you down the beach. When I caught you, we fell over & started kissing. You asked me to marry you. I said you were already married so you couldn’t marry me. You said that you had no idea what I was talking about & you’d only ever been with me,” he said.

“What did you say?” Jimin asked.

“I don’t know. That’s when I woke up,” Tae finished.

“What would you have said?” Jimin asked. Tae pushed himself up & brushed Jimin’s hair back.

“If you’d only ever been with me & I’d only ever been with you, then I would’ve said yes. We’re not only with each other, J. You’ve got Hobi. I’ve got Kookie. You married Hobi. Someday I’ll marry Kookie,” Tae took Jimin’s left hand & twisted his wedding ring around on his finger. “You promised to live your life with someone else. If you regret that decision, I can’t help you. I’m not going to leave Kookie. I know that’s crazy & stupid, but I won’t do it. I love you, Jimin, but we can’t ever be anything more than this. Whatever this even is.”

“You love me?”

“Yes,”

“I love you, too,” Jimin pulled Tae down into a fiery kiss. Tae climbed on top of Jimin & pinned his arms over his head.

“Are we going to play that game?” Jimin asked.

“Did you want to play another one?” Tae asked as he pushed his hips into Jimin’s.

“No,” Jimin smiled coyly.

“Good,” Tae kissed his way down Jimin’s neck to the space between his collarbones. He watched Jimin as he licked him. Jimin smiled at him as he kissed over to his shoulder.

“Do it,” Jimin said.

“Now why would I give you something you want so easily?”

“Because I taught you everything you know?”

“Not everything,” Tae smiled as he licked Jimin’s shoulder.

“Oh really?”

Tae kissed & nipped his way down Jimin’s chest to between his legs.

“Your husband may have taught me a trick or two,” Tae replied as he idly ran a finger up Jimin’s cock. Jimin looked down at him.

“Then I suppose I have something to compare this to?”

“I may have added a few things,” Tae took Jimin in his mouth & lightly flicked the tip. Jimin let out a sharp breath. Tae zig zagged his tongue down until he had all of Jimin’s dick in his mouth. He ran his hands up Jimin’s thighs & rested them on Jimin’s hips. Tae took his thumbs & tickled the inside of Jimin’s hip bones as licked him. Jimin squirmed, but Tae held him in place. He slid his hands further up Jimin’s body & put one of his hands on his chest. Jimin’s heart felt like it was going to beat straight out of his chest. He was groaning & writhing as Tae played with the tip.

“Fuck,” he gasped as he arched his back. Tae reached back down to hold onto his hips as he licked his way back down. He slowly pulled his head back & took his mouth off Jimin’s cock.

“What do you want, beautiful?” he asked as he playfully flicked the tip.

“Make me come,” he heaved. Tae smiled.

“Only if you promise to scream for me,”

“I won’t be able to stop myself,”

“Good,” Tae took Jimin back in his mouth & focused on the bump under the tip. Jimin started moaning & thrashing under Tae’s grip. Tae used his whole tongue & finished him. Jimin thrust into Tae’s mouth, screaming & arching his back. He grabbed onto the sheets as he came. Tae didn’t stop licking him while he came. When he finished, Tae slowly pulled his mouth off Jimin’s cock. He pulled himself up next to Jimin. He was trying to catch his breath & would periodically shake like he had a chill.

“Good?” All Jimin could do was nod. Tae grinned & kissed him. “Glad you enjoyed it.”

“Holy shit, Tae. Did you really learn that from Hobi?”

“The basics,” Tae told him. “He’s actually pretty good at teaching blow job technique.”

“Is he?”

“I didn’t learn it from you & I sure as shit didn’t learn it from Kookie, now did I?” Tae kissed him deeper.

“You want something?” Jimin asked.

“Other than my hands all over you?” Tae replied.

“I’m not going to be much use to you for a little while,”

“On the contrary, you’re very useful when it comes to kissing & groping. I assume you can still kiss me,”

“Yes, I can still kiss you,” Jimin smiled.

“Then I’m going to kiss you & put my hands all over that amazing body of yours. I hope you don’t mind,” Tae ran his hand down Jimin’s chest.

“I do not,”

“Perfect,” Tae pulled Jimin on top of him & started kissing him. He skimmed his fingers down Jimin’s back to his ass. Jimin wrapped his arms around Tae’s neck.

“Why are you so fucking sexy?” Tae asked.

“Luck?”

“I plan on getting lucky later,” Tae popped Jimin on the ass. Jimin giggled.

“Do you?”

“I do. Very, very lucky,” he ran his hands up Jimin’s sides & onto his shoulders. Jimin kissed Tae’s neck.

“You’re awfully confident about that,”

“I’m sorry, were you not interested?”

“Who needs luck when all you have to do is ask?” Jimin licked up the front of Tae’s neck.

“As in how hard do you want me to fuck you later?” Tae traced circles on Jimin’s shoulder.

“That works or where do I want to be fucked?”

“Park Jimin, are you suggesting we engage in sexual activity not in a bed?”

“I don’t think we’ve sufficiently defiled the couch,”

“Poor couch,” Tae kissed him.

“Maybe it likes it,” Jimin said. Jimin reached down & grasped Tae’s dick. “I can’t wait to have this inside me.”

“I can’t wait to be inside you,” Tae kissed him fiercely as Jimin massaged his cock. Tae groaned. “You’ll just have to wait longer if you get me off now.”

“I know, but now that I’m feeling it & hearing you make that noise I love to hear you make…”

“You little bitch,” Tae thrust into Jimin’s hand.

“I’m sorry, do you want me to let go?” Jimin gave him an innocent look.

“If you let go then you aren’t getting anything later,” Tae replied.

“In that case,” Jimin squeezed him again. Tae moaned again. Jimin carefully moved up to the tip. He barely grazed the edge with his index finger. Jimin was still on top of Tae straddling one of his legs. Tae curled his fingers in Jimin’s hair.

“Fuck, J. What are you doing down there?”

“Making you very happy,” Jimin kissed him as he held onto his whole cock again. “Are you going to scream for me?”

“Are you going to make me want to?”

“I’m going to make you beg for it,” Jimin ground his crotch into Tae’s leg as he gave him a light squeeze. “You know I can.”

“You can do anything to me. You know that,” Tae said as he pulled Jimin’s hair. Jimin looked up & smiled at him.

“Anything?”

“Anything,”

“Then I’m definitely going to make you scream,” Jimin kissed Tae’s neck then down to his shoulder. He bit him right when he made a quick stroke up his entire length. Tae bucked & moaned. Tae pulled Jimin down into a kiss & ground his crotch into Jimin’s hand.

“Don’t get too far ahead of yourself,”

“But you make it so easy,” Tae replied.

“I know. I can’t help myself. I want to give you everything. Every. Fucking. Thing,” Jimin let go of Tae’s dick & kissed him violently. Tae grabbed him & pulled him into him as close as he could. They were a mess of limbs & kissing & groaning. Jimin hadn’t wanted anyone like this...ever. Hobi had chosen him. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Hobi. He loved him with everything he had. He wanted Tae. He wanted to feel him. He wanted to breathe him. He wanted to fuck him. Most of all he wanted to hear Tae say his name after the words “I love you”.

Tae had finally made up his mind about Jimin. He’d gone from thinking he loved him to caring for him to not loving him & now here he was. He was in bed with him making out like the world was about to end with a boner that was so hard it was bordering on painful. He did love him. He wouldn’t, couldn’t, marry him, but he could love him all the same. What Tae didn’t know was his love would cure Jimin of his lying. Not Hobi’s. Not Jac’s. His. As he pulled on Jimin’s hair & nipped at his bottom lip, he had no idea that he was changing Jimin simply by loving him.

“Fuck me now,” Jimin gasped when they came up for air.

“I thought I was supposed to be the one begging?” Tae raised an eyebrow.

“I always was a little flaky,” he replied.

“I’ll finish in about 10 seconds,”

“I don’t care. I need you,” he breathed.

“I need you too, beautiful,” Tae whispered as he sat them up. Jimin started kissing him again. “You’re going to have to move for a second, silly. You’re blocking the important part,” Tae winked. Jimin grudgingly moved so Tae could get himself ready.

“Now you can sit on me,” he teased. Jimin lowered himself down onto Tae’s dick & wrapped his legs around him. Tae grunted as Jimin kissed him & pushed himself against his lap. Tae thrust up into Jimin as he moved his hands up & down Jimin’s sides. Jimin had his arms locked behind Tae’s head as he kissed him. Tae felt himself start to twitch. He knew it would be quick.

“Come for me, beautiful,” Jimin put his lips against Tae’s ear. Tae thrust harder into Jimin as he came screaming & clawing at his back. Jimin held onto him as he thrashed against him. When Tae finished Jimin held him against his chest.

“I love you, Taehyung,”

“I love you too, Jimin,”

 **February 27, 2019**  
**11:51am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“Alright my loves, you’re going to have to survive without me for a whopping 2 weeks starting on Friday,” Jac announced when she got back from her morning class.

“What? Why?” Kookie asked.

“I will be co-leading a trip to Singapore for some of the more ambitious students. I trust you won’t burn the house down while I’m gone,” she pinched Kookie’s cheek.

“Why Singapore?” Tae asked.

“It has the largest English speaking population in Asia. We’re going immersion style. Should be fun,” she replied. “I need to see what laundry has to get done.”

“Did she just…?” Hobi said as she walked away.

“Reminds me of the day we met,” Namjoon laughed a little.

“A pocket sized Category 5 hurricane?” Jin smiled.

“Exactly,” Yoongi looked down the hall. She’d made up her mind & there was no convincing her otherwise. He had 2 days to adjust to the idea of sleeping alone & using FaceTime for 2 weeks. At least she wouldn’t be gone forever this time.

**3:45pm**

Jac tossed the last bit of laundry into the dryer & walked back down to her room. If she was being honest with herself, it would be nice to get a little break from living in close quarters with 7 boys in their 20s. She could always go stay at her apartment, but then she’d have a host of hurt feelings to deal with. It wasn’t worth it. When they’d been on tour at least they’d had separate rooms with thick walls. Now they were in a small space with poorly insulated walls. There were worse things to deal with than orgasm noises, but it grossed her out to think of them that way. Kookie was particularly loud. It wasn’t that she didn’t love them. She did. Now that they weren’t in crisis mode she had to adjust from living by herself to living with 6 younger brothers & a boyfriend in a space not a whole lot bigger than her apartment in LA. Some of those brothers were needier than others.

“Already taking my place, Hobes?” she said when she walked in & saw Hobi talking to Yoongi.

“I had him first, you know,” Hobi replied.

“I’m prettier,” she poked him in the ribs.

“I dunno, I think I’m pretty. What do you think, Yoon?”

“I think I’m not dumb enough to get involved in this,” he said. Hobi & Jac laughed.

“I shall leave you to enjoy your last few days together,” Hobi winked.

“I’m still prettier than you,” Jac called after him.

“You’re ridiculous,” Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“Me or him?”

“Both of you,” he replied.

“And yet you still love us,”

“I think that says something about me,”

“You’re a sucker for charity cases,” she grinned & kissed him. “Are you going to be able to behave yourself while I’m gone?” He knew exactly what she meant.

“Yes, I will. You’ll only be an hour behind us & I assume you can make a little bit of time to call every night,” he said.

“I’ll sneak into the bathroom if I have to,” she smiled.

“Good,” he kissed her again.

“Just remember you’re going to have to share with your brothers. I’m sure they’ll all want to tell me about their day at school,” she smiled.

“Dammit,”

“It’s not my fault I’m wonderful,”

“I guess not,” he put his arm around her shoulders. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too,”

_But maybe not as much as I should._


	15. Early March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background music (if you’re so inclined):  
> “House of Cards” BTS  
> “ET” Katy Perry  
> “Swim” Chase Atlantic  
> “Lose Yourself” Eminem

**March 4, 2019**  
**8am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

The boys filed into the rehearsal room & dropped their stuff on the floor. One of the staff was waiting for them.

“What’s going on?” Yoongi asked suspiciously.

“You’ll be going to Japan in May. You’ll be performing 10 shows in 8 cities. The set list is being finalized, but I have the tentative list,” he handed it to Namjoon. Namjoon scanned the list. It was about the same as the US tour. No big deal. Two months would be plenty of time. He handed it to Hobi. Hobi shrugged & passed it down the line. Definitely not a big deal. Two months would be more than enough time.

**2:37pm**

Jimin came out of the jump & landed on the side of his foot rather than the ball. His ankle rolled & he fell, landing on top of his foot. He felt something pop when he landed.

_Please no._

He bit down to keep from cussing. Hobi pulled him back into a sitting position.

“Jiminie are you okay?”

 _Don’t lie_.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I broke it,” he hissed through the pain. The last time he hurt this much he’d torn a tendon & it had taken months to heal. They didn’t have months. They had weeks. Hobi wrapped his arm around Jimin’s chest. Jimin was digging his fingers into his arm & trying not to cry. Tae had found some ice & put it on his ankle.

“Maybe we can get someone out here to look at you,” Namjoon said.

“Okay,” Jimin tried to breathe through the pain.

“I’m going to move your leg,” Tae said. He put Jimin’s leg in his lap & held the ice pack on his ankle. The rest of them sat down anxiously. Jimin buried his face in Hobi’s chest.

“It’ll be okay. We’ll get it fixed,” Hobi kissed the top of his head & hugged him.

“What if it’s not?”

“You probably just sprained it. No big deal,” Kookie tried to sound optimistic. He’d seen Jimin fall. It would be a miracle if he didn’t break anything. Tae absently rubbed Jimin’s shin. This was bad. This was very bad.

**6:58pm**

They got home late after a trip to the orthopedist. Jimin hadn’t torn the tendon as he’d feared, but it was only sheer luck that he hadn’t done that or broken anything. He was in a brace with strict instructions to stay off his leg unless absolutely necessary. He wasn’t too bothered by that part at the moment. His leg hurt too much to do anything right now.  
Tae got him settled in bed with his leg propped up. Hobi & Namjoon were frantically going over the set list & trying to figure out how to work around the fact Jimin couldn’t be on his feet for at least a month.

“How are you feeling?” Tae brushed Jimin’s hair back.

“It hurts,” Jimin replied.

“Do you need ice or more painkillers?”

“I’m okay for right now,”

“Okay, but let one of us know if you need something,” Tae looked him in the eyes. “Even if you think it’s not worth asking about.” Jimin nodded.

_Don’t lie._

“Can you stay with me?”

“Sure,” Tae settled on Jimin’s good side. He softly kissed him. Jimin rested his hand on Tae’s cheek as he kissed him back.

“Why did this happen to me?” he asked.

“It was an accident. It could’ve happened to any of us,” Tae told him. Jimin rested his head on Tae’s shoulder. Tae ran his hand down Jimin’s stomach.

“Don’t do that to me,” Jimin laced his fingers in Tae’s.

“Do what?”

“Get me hot & bothered,”

“So no tummy rubs?” Tae asked.

“Not as long as I can’t move my lower leg,” Jimin replied, kissing the side of Tae’s neck.

“What can I do?”

“I haven’t decided yet. I want you here, but my leg is killing me. I don’t know if I can behave myself,” Jimin wrapped his arms around Tae’s waist. Tae kissed him again.

“I won’t let you hurt yourself. You can misbehave all you want if it doesn’t hurt your ankle more,” Tae told him.

“Why are you so perfect?” Jimin looked up at him.

“Because you’re half stoned,” Tae grinned.

“Only half?”

“You’re sober enough to turn down a tummy rub,”

“Fair,” he kissed Tae again. “My ankle still hurts like a bitch, too.”

“Am I going to have to force feed you pain medication? There’s no reason to suffer, beautiful,” Tae ran his hand through Jimin’s hair.

“I don’t want to take too much,”

“And I don’t want you to be in pain,”

Jimin sighed. The pain meds they’d given him before he left the doctor had barely put a dent in his pain. He didn’t want to end up like Yoongi. He didn’t want to abuse them. He was also having a hard time sitting still because his ankle hurt so much. He looked up at Tae.

“I’ll take some,” he said.

“Good. I’ll make sure you don’t take too much,” Tae kissed him. Jimin felt tingly when Tae kissed him. Part of him wished that Tae’s dream had been real. Tae had really been chasing him on the beach, he’d really caught him, they’d really made out in the sand, & Jimin had really proposed. Most of him felt guilty for wishing to be with someone else. Hobi was his life. Hobi was his protector. Hobi carried him when he couldn’t walk. Hobi prayed to a God he didn’t believe in to give him strength to help the person he loved. Hobi had moved beyond the Dom who couldn’t admit he was in love with his Sub. Jimin had moved beyond being a Sub who was in love with his Dom. He prayed to a God he didn’t believe in that he hadn’t moved completely beyond loving his Dom. Not his Dom. His husband.

Tae leaned his head against the bathroom mirror. He felt like a cheater. He felt like a betrayer. He remembered what he’d told Jimin after he told him about his dream. If I’d only ever been with you & you’d only ever been with me, then I’d say yes. They hadn’t only been with each other. Hobi had taken Tae’s virginity. Jimin had taken Kookie’s. Then Kookie had been with him. Then Jimin. Then Hobi. Tae had been with Kookie. Then Hobi. Then Jimin. It was one big circle. Or square. Or trapezoid. He’d kept Jimin alive when Hobi was keeping Yoongi alive. Hobi had given them his blessing to screw around. Had he known they’d fall in love with each other? Had he known they’d question their lives with their partners? What would he say if he knew? What would Kookie say? Were they doing anything? Was Hobi spanking & choking Kookie regularly? Was Hobi letting Kookie fuck him? There were a million more questions running through Tae’s head with no answers. Right now he had to focus. He had to help Jimin. He’d deal with any fallout later.

**9:58pm**

Kookie anxiously approached Hobi. Hobi was sitting on the balcony by himself drinking & periodically looking down at a notepad. The last time he’d approached Hobi by himself Kookie ended up with a belt around his neck.

“Hey,” he said as he closed the door.

“Hey,” Hobi replied not looking up.

“Need some help?”

“No. I think we’ve done all we can do for right now,” Hobi sighed.

“Okay,” Kookie scratched the back of his head revealing a sliver of his stomach. Hobi didn’t miss that detail. “Then do you want some company?”

“Sure,”

Kookie sat down & poured himself a drink. He scratched the back of his head again. It was one of his tells.

“Something you want to talk about?” Hobi asked.

“I think Tae wants to leave me for Jimin,” he said slowly.

“I’ve had the same thought. Ever since Jimin’s eating disorder issues came back, I’ve suspected he wants to leave me. I told Tae I was fine with them sleeping together if it kept Jimin alive. I was fine with pretty much anything if it kept him alive. Now that his eating disorder is under control, I think I shot myself in the foot. I knew they’d screwed around before & liked it. After everyone telling me what an asshole I’ve been to Jimin over the years, I thought I’d ease off & let him do whatever he wanted. I think I may have let that go too far. Now I’m 99% sure my husband wants to leave me for someone else,” Hobi sighed.

“I can’t really blame Tae. I started sleeping with Jimin basically right after we got together. Then I was with you. I treated him like shit & now he’s moved on. He’s found someone who won’t treat him like shit. That someone happens to be married, but it doesn’t matter. I know you can’t help who you love, but I’ve loved him for years. I can’t help but think he’s the only one I’ll ever love,” Kookie replied.

“I’m pretty sure Jimin is the only one I’ll ever love,” Hobi finished his drink. “We’re quite a pair.”

“I guess so,” Kookie looked at him. They looked at each other for a moment.

“Wanna fuck?” Hobi asked.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Kookie got up out of the chair & pulled Hobi up out of his. He shoved him against the wall & kissed him deeply. Hobi put his hand down Kookie’s pants. Kookie thrust his crotch into Hobi’s hand.

“Maybe we should take this party inside,” Hobi gave Kookie a light squeeze.

“Sure,”

They practically ran into Kookie & Tae’s room. Their clothes were completely off by the time they hit the bed. Their whole bodies touched as they kissed each other. It wasn’t the warm, erotic tingle they got with their partners. It was raw, powerful lust. Hobi scratched at Kookie’s shoulders. Kookie bit Hobi’s lip. Their chests & stomachs touched rhythmically as they breathed.

“Fuck me,” Hobi hissed in Kookie’s ear.

“With pleasure,” Kookie replied. Hobi rolled over & positioned his ass right in front of Kookie. Kookie smacked him.

“That’s it?” he said. Kookie hit him harder.

“Better?”

“Yes,”

Kookie hit him a few more times then grabbed Hobi’s thighs as he thrust into him. Hobi moaned.

“If I’m Baby Dom, what does that make you?” Kookie leaned over.

“Sir. I’ll always be sir,” Hobi replied.

“Yes sir,” Kookie smiled. He thrust hard into Hobi as he sat back up. “I hope you’ll enjoy this, sir.”

“I should. If you remember what I taught you,” Hobi said. With that, Kookie began pounding him. He grabbed Hobi’s hair & pulled him up on all fours. Hobi moaned & fought under Kookie’s grip. The more Hobi fought, the closer Kookie got.

“Fuck,” he breathed. Hobi started moving up & down Kookie’s cock. He dropped his head & bucked his hips. Kookie came. He let go of Hobi’s hair & clawed at Hobi’s hips. He didn’t scream because he could barely breathe. With another buck, Hobi finished himself. He went down on his elbows as his chest heaved. Kookie wasn’t a bad fuck. He was actually a pretty good one if he knew his partner trusted him to let loose & Hobi did.

Hobi dropped completely onto his stomach when he finished & Kookie landed on top of him. He lied on Hobi’s back for a minute desperately trying to catch his breath.

“Holy fucking shit,” was all Kookie could come up with.

“You’re welcome,” Hobi smiled. Kookie flopped off of him & Hobi sat up to leave. Kookie grabbed his wrist.

“Stay? Just for a minute,”

“Sure,” Hobi tried to hide the smile working its way to his lips. It was nice to feel needed again. “Just for a minute.”

Hobi lied back down & Kookie nestled under his arm. He idly ran his fingers down Hobi’s chest.

“Why are you into this stuff?” Kookie asked.

“I can’t remember when I wasn’t. The first guy I had sex with was a lot older. He was into it. I tried it out. I was like you. I started as a Sub then trained to become a Dom. It’s all I’ve ever known really,” he replied.

“Do you & Jimin have, you know, normal sex now?”

“You mean no spanking or bondage or sir?”

“Yeah,”

“Pretty much. Sometimes we’ll role play, but mostly we’re normal. Whatever normal is,” Hobi said. He rested his hand on Kookie’s hip. His body felt completely different than Jimin’s. It was all muscle. There weren’t any soft spots. There weren’t any bones sticking out where they weren’t supposed to. Hobi wasn’t sure what to do with Kookie’s body. He wasn’t sure what to do with someone who wasn’t Jimin in his arms. Lacking any other ideas, Hobi kissed him.

Kookie was shocked when Hobi kissed him. It wasn’t the hungry, strong, ‘I’m about to fuck your brains out’ kiss. It was more like a kiss he’d get from Tae or Jimin. It was thoughtful. It was light. It was the exact opposite of the Hobi he knew. He kissed him back anyway.

“Who are you & what have you done with Hobi?” he whispered.

“I don’t know,” Hobi whispered back. Kookie kissed him again. He rolled onto his side & wrapped his arms around Hobi’s neck. Hobi pulled Kookie closer to him & rested his hands on Kookie’s lower back. Kookie wrapped one of his legs around Hobi’s.  _What the hell is happening?_ Hobi thought. He should be doing this with Jimin. He didn’t make out with Kookie. He didn’t cuddle Kookie. He fucked Kookie & walked away. Not this time. They needed each other. They needed each other more than ever because only the other one could understand their pain. “I know we just did, but…” Kookie pulled back.

“Shut up & kiss me,” Hobi ran his hand down Kookie’s back.

“Okay,” Kookie laced his fingers in Hobi’s hair. Hobi cupped his hands under Kookie’s ass & boosted him up. Kookie locked his arms behind Hobi’s head. He wrapped his leg tighter around Hobi in spite of the fact neither of them were ready for a second round. Hobi squeezed his ass & he moaned.

Hobi kissed Kookie harder. He shoved the confusion & doubt into the back of his head. He was in the moment. All he wanted in that moment was to feel wanted & needed. Hobi felt like Jimin hadn’t wanted or needed him for months. He said he did, but the passion that had existed between them seemed to have disappeared. January had fucked them all sideways with a cactus. None of them knew right from wrong or up from down. Hobi felt like a perfect example was that moment. He was making out with his Sub waiting until he could get it up again & they could fuck each other again. He should have been tending to his newly injured husband. Yet someone else was doing that. The world was upside down & Hobi had no idea how to right it.

 **March 5, 2019**  
**1:21am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Hobi woke up with Kookie cuddled up under his arm hugging him. Hobi rubbed Kookie’s arm like he would with Jimin when they woke up in the middle of the night. Jimin’s body was smooth where Kookie’s body was muscular. Kookie snored while Jimin didn’t. He’d never actually slept alone with Kookie. Kookie leaned his head back & kissed Hobi’s chin.

“What time is it?” he muttered.

“Almost 1:30. Go back to sleep,” he rubbed Kookie’s arm some more.

“I miss Tae,”

“It’s okay. I miss Jimin,” Hobi replied. Kookie kissed Hobi’s neck.

“So what? We fuck each other until our partners decide to come back to us?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know,” Hobi told him. Kookie climbed on top of Hobi. Hobi ran his fingers through Kookie’s hair. “You are really hot, though.” Kookie laughed a little.

“Thanks,”

“I don’t get paid to lie to you,” Hobi replied. _Like Jimin lied to all of us_. He picked his head up & kissed Kookie.

“I need you,” he breathed. _Shit I said that out loud._

“I need you, too,” Kookie replied. “I want you to touch me.”

“How about kissing?” Hobi asked.

“Definitely,” Kookie grinned. Hobi grazed his fingers down Kookie’s sides as he kissed him. He felt his chest expand & contract as he breathed. He felt his muscles move as he writhed on top of him. He felt Kookie’s hands twist in his hair. Kookie’s breath was hot on his lips. Hobi rested his hands on Kookie’s ass as he pushed his hips down into Hobi’s. Kookie lightly ran his teeth down Hobi’s neck. Hobi felt goosebumps rise on his arms. Kookie drew a circle on Hobi’s shoulder with his tongue then bit him. Hobi grunted & thrust his hips up into Kookie’s. Kookie licked his way over to Hobi’s other shoulder & did the same thing. Hobi arched his back & groaned. Kookie kissed him again. Hobi rolled over on top of Kookie. He ground his hips against Kookie’s as he kissed him. He looked down at Kookie.

“What the fuck are we even doing?”

“I don’t know, but I want to keep doing it,” Kookie replied.

“Me too,” Hobi went back to kissing him. Kookie reached down & slapped Hobi’s ass.

“You think you can smack my ass & get away with it?”

“Nope,” Kookie grinned through the kiss. “You going to punish me, sir?”

“I might,”

Kookie slapped his ass again.

“Now you’re getting punished,” Hobi said.

“I’ve been a very bad Baby Dom,” Kookie smiled.

“Very bad,” Hobi said as he got off the bed. He pulled the collar out of the closet.

“You hid that in here?” Kookie said as he sat up.

“I don’t use it on Jimin anymore. Might as well keep it close to the one I do use it on,” Hobi replied. Kookie stood up & let Hobi put the collar & cuffs on him.

“Not going to strangle yourself?” Hobi asked. Kookie shook his head & rolled his shoulders a little.

“I’m good,” he said.

“Then let’s have some fun,” Hobi pushed Kookie on the bed & thrust into him. Kookie started fighting almost immediately. He pushed his ass back onto Hobi’s cock as he wrestled against the collar.

Hobi grabbed Kookie’s waist & pounded him harder.

“Are we learning our lesson yet, Baby Dom?”

“No,” Kookie replied.

“You always were the stubborn one,” Hobi smacked his ass & kept thrusting into him. Kookie’s shoulders strained against the cuffs. He lowered his head onto the bed to ease up on his neck.

“Easy, Baby Dom. I don’t know CPR,” Hobi told him. Kookie stopped fighting & started panting. Hobi watched as Kookie’s chest heaved.

“Do you want me to finish you?” Kookie nodded. Hobi stopped, counted to 3, then thrust into him. Kookie fought against the collar as he came. Hobi waited until Kookie was done before finishing himself.

“Did we learn our lesson?” Hobi asked after he let Kookie loose.

“Never,” Kookie breathed as he pulled Hobi back on the bed with him. His neck was red from the collar.

“Why do you have to make my life difficult?” Hobi asked as he kissed him.

“Because I can,” he smiled. “You know I’m your favorite Sub.”

“You’re my only Sub,” Hobi said as he kissed him more.

“So I’m right,”

“Shut up & let me go to sleep,” Hobi said.

“Stop kissing me & I might,” Kookie replied as he leaned back with Hobi on top of him.

“Stop being so fucking hot & I might,”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that,” Kookie replied.

“I’ll have you right on my cock later if I get my way,” Hobi ran his hand up Kookie’s thigh.

“How are you so fucking horny? You literally just came,” Kookie rubbed Hobi’s back.

“It’s a gift,” Hobi grinned.

“Didn’t you want to go to sleep?” Kookie said.

“Behave yourself,” Hobi rolled off him. Kookie snuggled against Hobi’s side.

“Never,”

“Fine. Goodnight, Baby Dom,”

“Goodnight, sir,”

**2:23am**

Tae had been awake for hours. Jimin was asleep on his shoulder. He still had his ankle in the brace & propped up on pillows even though he was technically able to sleep without it. Tae heard Kookie & Hobi having sex earlier. Multiple times. Were they starting to care about each other, too? Or were they just fucking around? Tae’s heart sank at the thought of Kookie loving someone else. He knew that made him a hypocrite. He was in love with someone else. He didn’t have the right to be upset if Kookie fell in love with someone else. Having the right to be upset & actually being upset were 2 very different things. Tae leaned his head back against the wall & sighed. Jimin stirred, but didn’t wake up. He should try & get some sleep. Their rehearsal schedule didn’t stop because of Jimin’s injury. It just meant he was sitting in a chair instead of standing.

_Fuck this shit._

**March 7, 2019**  
**6:30pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“I think it’s time to break for dinner,” Hobi said. The rest of them stretched & wiped the sweat off their faces. Jimin simply sighed.

“Do you want to come with us, Jiminie?” Hobi asked.

“I probably should get up & move around,” he went to get his crutches.

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” Hobi said. “I can bring you back something.”

“Okay. You know what I like,” he said.

“I’ll stay with you,” Tae said. “You can grab me something, right baby?”

“Uh, sure,” Kookie replied. He looked suspiciously at them as he followed the others out to pick up food.

“I hate this,” Jimin sighed.

“I know. I know it’s hard on you,” Tae replied. Jimin pulled him into his lap & rested his forehead on Tae’s shoulder.

“I almost wish I wasn’t here at all,”

“Then what? Sit around in the house all day by yourself?”

“You’re right,”

“Of course I am,” Tae smiled. He rubbed Jimin’s arm reassuringly. Jimin sighed again. Tae tilted his head up.

“It’ll work out. One way or another, it’ll work out,” he leaned down & kissed him. Jimin pulled on Tae’s sweaty shirt & kissed him back. Tae moved & straddled Jimin.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” Tae breathed as he kissed him.

“No,”

“I should’ve gone with Kookie,”

“I should’ve made Hobi stay,” Jimin replied as he kissed Tae’s neck & put his hands up his shirt.

“We need to stop,” Tae replied as he unbuttoned Jimin’s pants.

“Definitely,”

“You first,” Jimin said as he pulled off Tae’s shirt.

“No, you first,” Tae said as he wrapped his fingers around Jimin’s dick.

“I’m older,”

“By, like, three months,” Tae squeezed him & Jimin moaned.

“You still have to listen to me,” Jimin said.

“The only listening that’s going to be going on is me hearing you moan while I jack you off,” Tae said.

“Except that you’ll get us both dirty & I can’t exactly get up quickly to clean myself up,” Jimin rested his arms on Tae’s shoulders.

“Stop being logical,” Tae stuck his tongue out at him.

“Careful or I’ll make you put that tongue on me,” Jimin poked his stomach.

“I think we need to actually spend time with our partners,” Tae bumped Jimin with his nose.

“You’re right,” Jimin kissed him. The guilt hit him worse than landing on his ankle with his entire body weight. Hobi had agreed to the week of sex. He hadn’t agreed to random makeout sessions & groping. Jimin remembered how angry he was when Hobi was with Kookie or Tae without telling him. He remembered the damage he’d done when he wasn’t able to talk about it. He’d been too afraid to say anything because it might have meant hearing that Hobi didn’t love him. It might have meant Hobi only thought of him as a Sub. So he decided to punish all of them. He decided to lie. He decided to take every opportunity he could to hurt one of them. That wasn’t love. That was hate. Pure, unadulterated hate. Jimin wanted to crawl in a hole & die.

“Fuck,” he whispered squeezing his eyes closed.

“What?” Tae asked.

“Leave,” he said.

“Where do you want me to go?”

“I don’t care. Just get away from me,” Jimin covered his face.

“J, what the hell has gotten into you?” Tae got up. Jimin just shook his head.

“Talk to me, J. Did I do something? Did I say something?”

“I hate you. I hate all of you!” he snapped. Tae jumped.

“What? Two minutes ago you couldn’t keep your hands off me,”

“I can’t explain it,”

“I’d like to know why you did a total 180 in all of about 2 minutes,” Tae yanked his shirt on. Jimin put his head in his hands & started to cry. Tae had no idea what to do.

“At least let me fix your pants so they won’t walk in on you with your dick out,” he said. Jimin didn’t fight him on that. He’d barely stepped back when the rest of them walked in.

“What’d you do?” Hobi asked.

“Nothing! He told me he hated me & started crying out of nowhere,” Tae said.

“What were you doing before that?” Hobi gave him a pointed look.

“Making out,” Tae said quietly. Hobi knelt in front of Jimin.

“Jiminie, what happened?” Jimin shook his head. “It’s okay. You can tell your mean ex-Dom. I promise I won’t get mad.”

“Make them leave,” Jimin sniffed.

“Guys,” Hobi looked at them.

“Sure,” Namjoon said. He & Jin ushered everyone out. Tae looked behind him until they closed the door.

“Here, I’m sure that chair is uncomfortable,” Hobi lifted Jimin out of the chair & rested him between his legs so Jimin’s back was against Hobi’s chest. Hobi leaned against the wall.

“What’s the matter, Jiminie,” he asked.

“I cheated on you,” he said quietly.

“How’d you do that? I told you it was okay to sleep with Tae,” Hobi said.

“You didn’t say it was okay to make out behind your back,” Jimin replied.

“I didn’t, but I kind of assumed you would,” he replied.

“I destroyed everything when you did it to me with Tae & Kookie. I was so scared that you would say you didn’t love me. Then I punished Kookie & Tae because I could. I don’t love you. I hate you,” he sniffed.

“Hush. You love us all just fine. You made a mistake. A big mistake, but you don’t hate us,” Hobi kissed the back of Jimin’s head. “I think the person you hate is yourself.”

“Me?”

“You’ve been punishing yourself since we got home. First your eating disorder. Then Tae. If you’re trying to get me to leave you, it isn’t going to work. You’re stuck with me,” Hobi nuzzled Jimin’s cheek. “Sorry.”

“What about you & Kookie?”

“What about us? You know there’s nothing there,”

“I was going to have sex with Tae while you were gone,” he said quietly.

“I know,” Hobi wrapped his arms around Jimin’s shoulders. “I’m not as dumb as you think I am.”

“And you love me anyway?” Jimin asked.

“I’ve loved you since before I knew what the hell love was. There are so many things I wish I could take back. There are so many things I wish I could change. One thing I would never, ever change is marrying you. You know that, right?” Hobi told him. Jimin nodded.

“What about me & Tae?”

“He helped keep you alive. I’ll never be able to repay him for that. Whatever you decide to do is up to you. I love you with everything I am, Jiminie. Nothing you can do will change that,”

“I love you too, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

“Maybe it’s time to get you home,” Hobi smiled.

“It’s not time to go yet,” Jimin replied.

“You forget I’m the boss in rehearsal. I say I need to take you home,” he told him.

“Okay,” Hobi lifted Jimin up & held him facing him. “I’m sorry you thought you couldn’t tell me how you felt. I never was very good with words.”

“I shouldn’t have ignored your actions. You refused to let me die before. That should’ve been all I needed,” Jimin replied.

“We’re a couple of blind idiots,” Hobi put his hand on Jimin’s cheek. Jimin smiled at him.

“That we are,”

“Let me take you home. They’ll be fine without us,” Hobi picked up Jimin & carried him over to where he’d left his crutches.

“We’ll see you at home,” Hobi said as they came back out of the room. “Joon, I leave this in your capable hands.”

“Sure, see you at home,” he replied & watched them walk away.

Hobi got Jimin settled in bed. There weren’t very many comfortable positions for his leg, so Jimin settled for lying on his right side with a pillow between his ankles. Hobi lied on his side facing him.

“How are you?” Hobi asked.

“My leg hurts,”

“What about the rest of you?”

“Equally bad,” he replied.

“You want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Jimin sighed.

“Okay,” Hobi said. “I’m ready to listen when you’re ready to talk.”

“Thank you, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

“Always Jiminie,”

“I’m sorry I didn’t make Tae leave & ask for you when I got hurt,”

“That’s in the past. I admit, it stung a little,” Hobi told him. Jimin squeezed his eyes shut again. Hobi carefully pulled Jimin into his chest. “I forgive you. Whatever your reasons, I forgive you.”

Then Jimin started sobbing.

**9:17pm**

Tae carefully pushed open the door to Hobi & Jimin’s room. Hobi was sitting up with Jimin asleep in his lap.

“Oh, sorry. I’ll come back later,” Tae said when he saw Jimin was asleep.

“If you want to talk to him it might be a while. I made him take the good stuff,” Hobi ruffled Jimin’s hair. He smiled down at him. Tae had seen that smile when Jimin was at his worst. Hobi loved Jimin with every cell in his body. Tae felt nauseous like he’d somehow stolen part of Jimin from Hobi.

“I assume you aren’t still standing there because you enjoy standing in doorways,” Hobi looked at him.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” Tae said.

“Me? How would you hurt me?”

“I dunno, if I got between you or something,” he replied. Hobi waved him over. Tae pulled over the desk chair.

“You didn’t get between us except in bed & I assume you enjoyed that,” Hobi said. Tae felt himself blush.

“I mean he told me he loves me. I love him. I had a dream where he proposed to me & I said yes,”

“And? Try waking up from a dream about having sex with Jin. It was almost as bad as dreaming I was having sex with my mom. Dreams don’t mean anything. Thank god,” Hobi replied. “I love my husband. I will love him until the day I die. I hate to burst your bubble, but you’re not going to change that.”

“What about Jimin?”

“You can ask him when he wakes up, but he wasn’t feeling very chatty earlier,” Hobi petted his hair.

“Have you ever loved anyone else?”

“Nope,”

“Do you think you could?”

“Nope. I’m very happy to spread my sexual prowess around, but only one person gets my love,” Hobi looked down at Jimin again. “I just wish I’d told him sooner.”

“Do you remember when you fell in love with him?” Tae asked.

“I don’t think I could pinpoint the moment, but I think when I realized how special he really was. He wasn’t just a dancer. He wasn’t just a singer. He wasn’t just a set of abs & a pretty face. He had to be all of that to get in the door. There was something about him that I couldn’t shake. Maybe it was the first time he smiled at me. Maybe it was the first time he touched me. Maybe it was the first time I made him laugh. He had me years before I ever even kissed him. He didn’t know it. I refused to admit it. I remember our first kiss. It was in that supply closet down the hall from the rehearsal room. It was September 15. I pulled him in there on one of our breaks. I’m sure you’re expecting that half our clothes came off in the process,” Hobi said.

“Well yeah,” Tae said.

“They did not. It was actually quite romantic. Hands stayed over the clothes. It was one of those long, slow kisses. I actually can’t remember the last time I kissed him like that,”

“I didn’t know you were even capable of that,” Tae said.

“I’ll show you sometime,” Hobi winked.

“Yeah right,” Tae rolled his eyes.

“When my husband isn’t deadass asleep in my lap, I’ll prove that I am capable of such a kiss,”

“Fine,” Tae obviously didn’t believe him.

“You’ll see,” Hobi grinned. “You’ll see.”

 **March 10, 2019**  
**10:28pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

"I told you I’d show you how I kissed Jimin the first time,” Hobi said as he sat on the bed.

“You did,” Tae replied sitting across from him.

“You won’t know what hit you,”

“You’re just stalling,”

Hobi leaned forward & put his hand on the back of Tae’s head. His lips slowly touched Tae’s as he exhaled. Hobi didn’t push or pull him. He simply kept his hand resting on the back of Tae’s head as he kissed him. Tae had kissed Hobi more times than he could count, but he’d never kissed him like this before. As Tae moved his hands up Hobi’s sides, his fingers felt like they were getting feeling back in them after they’d been asleep. His arms felt like they were floating. He was almost wondering if Hobi had put something on his mouth before he kissed him. Tae’s entire body felt light.

“That’s how I kissed him the first time,” Hobi said when he leaned back.

“I think I might be in love with you,” Tae looked at him. Hobi laughed.

“It will be unrequited,”

“Teach me your ways,”

“You still want to learn from me?”

“If you’re still willing to teach me,” Tae replied.

“Sure. Though something tells me you’ve come a long way since last summer,”

“That something might be right,” Tae smiled.

“Take off your pants, wiseass,”

“Yes sir,”

“Welcome back Little Sub,”

**10:32pm**

Jimin woke up & felt someone different in bed with him. As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he saw Kookie looking at him.

“Hobi left me in charge,” he said.

“That’s never a good thing,” Jimin yawned.

“Hey, I did just fine with Yoongi. I think I can handle you,” Kookie replied.

“Handle me, huh?”

“I don’t know what he & Tae are up to. I’m not sure I like the idea either,” Kookie said.

“Why’s that?” Jimin asked.

“I don’t like how rough he can get,”

“He’s harmless. He won’t do anything unless Tae asks him to do it. I promise,” Jimin said.

“How do you know?”

“First of all, I married him. Second of all, he’s a responsible Dom & if that is what they’re doing then he won’t do anything without Tae’s permission,”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive,”

“Okay,” Kookie sighed. Jimin reached over & brushed Kookie’s hair.

“How many times have I told you to trust him?”

“I know. I’m trying,”

“Come here. Watch my foot,” Jimin told him. Kookie scooted toward him. Jimin hugged him. “If you can’t trust Hobi, can you trust me?”

“Yes,”

“Then he & Tae are fine & you can relax,” Jimin kissed him. Jimin felt Kookie’s shoulders relax under his hands. Kookie kissed him back harder. He pressed his body as close as he could against Jimin’s. Jimin brushed his fingers on Kookie’s cheek.

“I think Tae wants to leave me,” Kookie whispered.

“Who would he leave you for?”

“You,”

“He won’t,” Jimin smiled.

“Why?”

“Because I asked him,” Kookie froze.

“You asked him to leave me?”

“It's a long story, but I asked him if he would marry me. He said we’d never be anything more than what we are,” Jimin replied. “You’re safe.”

“Why would you ask him to marry you if you’re already married?”

“I told you, it’s a long story. Let’s just go back to sleep,” Jimin told him.

“But…”

“Sleep, Kookie. Don’t make me do something to put you to sleep. My mobility is a little limited right now,” Jimin kissed him.

“What would you do to me?” Kookie asked.

“I can’t do much of anything right now,”

“Tell me what you’d do if you could,”

“If I could? I’d get behind you. I’d thrust my cock in your ass. I’d take you slowly. I’d draw it out. I wouldn’t pound you like Hobi does. I’d make you want every inch, every stroke,” Jimin put his lips next to Kookie’s ear. Kookie had reached down & grabbed his own dick.

“Tell me more,” Kookie put his free arm behind Jimin’s neck.

“I’d put my fingers around your neck. I wouldn’t squeeze, though. I’d tease you. I’d make you want to thrust on my cock, but I wouldn’t let you. I know how to hold you back. I know how to make you do what I want. I know how to make you beg,” he kissed Kookie’s ear. Kookie moaned as he got closer.

“More,”

“I’d wait until I felt you start to shake. That’s how I know you’re close. Then I’d stop. I’d leave you feeling my cock in your ass & my hands on your neck. I’d listen to you beg me to finish you. I’d make you say my name while I decided if I was going to give you what you wanted,”

“More Jimin,” Kookie gasped.

“You want to hear the end of the story?” he smiled.

“Yes,” Kookie panted.

“Then I thrust my cock into you while I squeeze your neck. I say ‘Come for me, baby’,” Jimin licked the side of Kookie’s neck. Kookie came, tightening his grip around Jimin’s shoulders, & thrusting into his hip.

“Fuck Jimin,” he grunted as he finished.

“That’s what I’d do to you if I could,” Jimin kissed him. “And now you get to clean both of us up because I can’t get up.”

“Sure, one second,” Kookie started to catch his breath. Jimin smiled.

“You’re welcome,”

 **March 13, 2019**  
**7:05pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

They were less than 10 days into rehearsal for the Japanese tour & Yoongi was already over it. He failed to see how having Jimin sitting in a chair in the corner was useful. All he was doing was sitting there & staring at them for 8 hours a day. At least they hadn’t moved to the 10 / 6 or 12 / 6 schedule yet. Then he’d be really cranky. He hated sleeping alone. Jac called every night, but he had to pass the phone around so everyone could talk to her. He was living for Saturday when they’d meet her in Singapore. It couldn’t get here fast enough.  
He parked himself on the balcony & lit a cigarette. The weather had finally gotten decent enough that they didn’t need blankets. He’d put on the Auburn sweatshirt Jac gave him for Christmas. It just made him miss her more.

“Enjoying the lovely weather?” Hobi said as he sat next to him.

“I guess,” Yoongi replied flatly.

“I got you something. I guess you could call it a late birthday present or it’s Wednesday present,” Yoongi’s birthday was the previous Saturday. He’d been about as pleasant as a hippo with a hernia. He refused to acknowledge it until he could see Jac & they could celebrate together.

“Sure,” he replied. Hobi put a bottle of the scotch they’d liked from the US on the table.

“Jac helped me find it. More like she helped me figure out how to get it through customs,” he said.

“Thanks,” Yoongi said without looking at Hobi.

“Look, I know you miss her. I know you’re upset. Could you at least pretend to be grateful? It was a pain in the ass to get this,” Hobi said.

“I’m sorry. Thank you for the thoughtful gift,” Yoongi looked over at him.

“You’re welcome,”

“I didn’t think I’d miss her this much. I feel like a total needy jerk. I text her when I know she’s busy. I really don’t want to give the phone away so she can talk to everyone else. I thought I’d be okay because I knew she was coming back. It’s only 2 weeks. She’s only an hour behind us. I’ve felt like shit for at least a week. She called at midnight on my birthday, but it wasn’t the same. I want to kick myself for feeling this way. I feel like a loser,” Yoongi said.

“You’re not a loser. You love her. It’s okay to miss her. I missed Jimin like crazy & we were in the same house. Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Hobi told him. He opened the bottle & passed a glass to Yoongi. Yoongi sighed as he lit another cigarette.

“I dunno. I guess I figured it wouldn’t be this bad,” he said.

“You haven’t really been away from her like this. How could you know what it’s like?” Hobi pointed out.

“I suppose you’re right,”

“Of course I’m right,” Hobi grinned. Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“How’s life in in the brothel?”

“Same as always. Though Jimin isn’t getting much action because of his foot,”

“Charming,”

“You asked,”

“I’m now regretting that decision,” Yoongi leaned back in the chair.

“I am not responsible for your poor life choices,” Hobi grinned.

“At least I haven’t made as many as you,” Yoongi replied.

“Gee thanks. Love you too,” Hobi poked him. Yoongi finished his drink.

“Thanks for my gift,” he said.

“You’re welcome,” Hobi replied. “I’m sorry you miss her as much as you do.”

“Thanks. I guess,”

“Need a hug?”

“I’m good,” Yoongi looked over at him.

“I’m always open to hug you, bestie,” Hobi smiled.

“Just no groping if I take you up on it,”

“No promises,” Hobi grinned.

“Great,” Yoongi said. Hobi laughed & poured them another round.

**9:48pm**

Kookie poked his head in Yoongi’s room as he was getting ready for bed.

“Hey,” he said. Yoongi jumped.

“Don’t you knock?”

“Sorry, I thought you heard me,” he replied.

“Apparently you’re stealthier than you thought,” Yoongi said as he yanked his sleep tee shirt on. Kookie walked in & closed the door. Yoongi raised an eyebrow.

“I noticed you’ve been upset & I was wondering if you wanted a bedmate. I know she’s almost home, but I thought it might make you feel better,” he said. Yoongi was floored. Kookie was the clueless one. He was the one who thought with his little head. He didn’t make thoughtful offers. That wasn’t Kookie.

“Are you just going to stare at me?” Kookie asked.

“I, um, sure. Thank you,” he replied.

“I won’t tell anyone. I’ll say I slept on the floor or something,” Kookie told him.

“Appreciate it,” Yoongi replied.

“I know you’d keep my secrets,” he smiled a little.

“The few that you have,”

“Ready for bed?”

“Hop on in,” Yoongi said. Kookie got in & lied on his back. Yoongi rested next to him with his head on Kookie’s chest & his arm across his stomach.

“Did someone put you up to this?” Yoongi asked suspiciously.

“Nope. I just remember before & how you didn’t like sleeping by yourself. I wish I’d thought of it earlier,” Kookie replied.

“What does your boyfriend think about this?” Yoongi asked.

“He liked the idea. He likes you, shockingly,” Kookie smiled.

“I like him, too,” Yoongi replied.

“I’ll be sure to tell him,” Kookie patted Yoongi’s arm. They were quiet as they drifted off to sleep.

“Hey Kookie?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks,”

“Anytime roomie,”

 **March 15, 2019**  
**11:15pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Yoongi rolled over Kookie when he heard his phone ring. He finally grabbed it & looked at the screen.

_Jac_

“What the hell…?”

“Yes, dear. You already called tonight,” he yawned.

“Who is it?” Kookie rubbed his eyes.

“It’s Jac,”

“CHECK THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW!” she shrieked.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t need hearing in that ear. What am I checking?”

“YOU WERE NOMINATED FOR A GRAMMY!”

“I’m sorry, what?” he said.

“What’s going on?” Kookie asked.

“She says we’re nominated for a Grammy,” he said.

“Wait, what?!”

“Hi, still on the phone here,” she said.

“Here, talk to Kookie,” Yoongi handed him the phone as he got his laptop started.

“Dare I ask why you’re in my boyfriend’s room after curfew?” she said.

“I’ll let him explain it,” Kookie said.

“Uh huh. Have you found it yet?”

“Best Pop Duo / Group Performance for Idol,” Yoongi read off the screen.

“Aren’t you excited?!” she squealed.

“That implies it’s sunken in,” Kookie said putting her on speaker. “This was 2 seconds ago.”

“A Grammy, y’all. Forget that shit we went to last month. This is the real deal,” she said. “Go tell everyone else.”

“I’m not going to wake up everyone else,” Yoongi said. “You yell loud enough you’ll wake them all up anyway. That doesn’t mean you can.”

“Come on. You have to tell them,” Jac purposely raised her voice.

“I’ll take you off speaker,” Kookie said.

“What’s going on in here? Some of us are trying to sleep,” Hobi came in.

“You were nominated for a Grammy, Hobes!” Jac yelled.

“Wait, what?”

“A Grammy, music award, the big one,” she said.

“Yes, I know what it is,” he said.

“What are you yelling about?” Namjoon came into the room rubbing his eyes with Jin in tow.

“You were nominated for a Grammy! Yoongi called it!” she yelled.

“Are you serious?” Jin said.

“For once, the internet doesn’t lie,” Jac said.

“Holy shit,” Hobi said.

“Go wake up Tae & Jimin,” Namjoon said. “Might as well get everyone in here.”

Hobi went to go get the other 2.

“I’m so proud of you. I wish I could hug you right now,” Jac said.

“You can hug us all tomorrow,” Kookie said.

“And I will squish you all,” she replied. Tae & Jimin joined the rest of the group in Yoongi’s room. Jac excitedly explained it to them again.

“Alright crazy person, we’ll see you tomorrow night,” Hobi said.

“You too, crazier person,” she said.

“A Grammy,” Yoongi looked at Kookie after everyone left the room.

“That’s...wow,” Kookie replied. “What if we win?”

“I might faint,” Yoongi said.

“Do you think we’ll win?”

“Did you see who we’re up against?”

“Yeah,” Kookie said.

“I wouldn’t be busting out the champagne anytime soon,” Yoongi replied. “Let’s try & go back to sleep.”

“Okay,” Kookie settled down & Yoongi settled on top of him.

“A Grammy,” he whispered.

“Who knew?” Yoongi whispered back.


	16. Mid / Late March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background music (if you’re so inclined):
> 
> “So What” BTS  
> “Run The World” Beyoncé  
> “Roar” Katy Perry  
> “Soldier” Backstreet Boys

**March 18, 2019**   
**12:30pm**   
**Singapore**

“Hurry up we’re going to be late!” Jac herded them out of the car & into the building. They were going for an interview with one of the major networks. Jac had already spent 2 weeks herding students around & now she was back to herding the boys. Just like old times.

“Where’s Tae?” she asked when she did her usual headcount.

“I think he went to the bathroom,” Kookie replied.

“Great. You go ahead & I’ll wait for him,” she said. The rest of them got in the elevator & Jac went to find Tae. He was coming out of the bathroom right as she got there.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you to pee before you leave?” she said.

“No…”

“Ugh, come on,” she dragged him toward the elevator. Jac pushed the button for the 12th floor & tapped her foot as it started moving.

“Why are you so cranky?” Tae asked.

“I’d appreciate a little time when I’m not chasing people down like errant children,” she huffed.

“Sorry I asked,” Tae said. Suddenly the elevator stopped. They looked at the display & had stopped on the 5th floor.

“Great,” Jac hit the open button, but the door didn’t move. She hit it again.

“I think we’re stuck,” Tae said as she angrily stabbed the button. She took out her phone.

“Of course, no service,”

“Try the call button?” Tae suggested. Jac poked the call button & curtly explained the situation.

“We’ll have someone up there to get you out. About thirty minutes,”

“Wonderful,” Jac sat down & grumbled. “If you hadn’t had to pee, we wouldn’t be stuck right now.”

“I didn’t break the elevator,” Tae replied.

“If we'd gone up with everyone else then the next people would’ve gotten stuck,” she snapped.

“Are you psychic now?” he asked as he sat down across from her.

“If you’re going to be snarky then just be quiet,” she glared at him.

“Seriously, why are you so upset?” Tae asked. She chewed on the inside of her cheek.

“I’m not used to this. I’m not used to living with this many people. I’m not used to living with people at all. I’m not used to being responsible for anyone but myself. I thought I’d get a break on the trip, but I was still herding people around. I was still making sure we were where we were supposed to be when we were supposed to be. I just need a goddamn break. Even just a day to myself,” she dropped her head into her hands.

“You were gone for over a month,” Tae said.

“Not by choice. I wanted to be with you, but couldn’t. Now I know I’m not going anywhere & I’m...I don’t know...overwhelmed? I love y’all more than I love myself some days. I lived a pretty solitary life before this. I didn’t have any close friends. Part of that was a choice. All of a sudden I have 6 brothers & a boyfriend in a space that’s maybe 150 square feet bigger than my old apartment. I thought about staying by myself at my apartment, but I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings,” she told him.

“You wouldn’t hurt our feelings,” Tae said.

“Really?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, Kookie & Yoongi would’ve taken it personally,” he conceded.

“What about you?”

Tae was silent for a moment.

“While you were gone, I asked myself a lot of times ‘What would Jac do?’. I wasn’t always sure about the answer, but I tried. That’s what got me through. I tried to put myself in your place. If you weren’t there then at least I could try to follow your lead. I’ve lived with these guys since I was 17. I have siblings. I don’t know what it’s like to need time or space to myself. If anything, it feels weird. I can’t relate to you at all about this. I can see how going from being an only child to living with us can be a shock. We’re loud, messy, & probably really annoying. If you need time to yourself then that’s something you need. Yoongi needs sleep. I need my boyfriend to not be such an ass. If they get their feelings hurt it’s better than you yelling at them or something, right?”

“I’ll be damned,” she said.

“What?”

“You’re a pretty smart kid, Kim Taehyung,” she smiled.

“I learned from the best,” Tae said. Jac laughed.

“Well thank you. I’ll let you in on a little secret. I don’t always know what to do or say. I pull something out of my ass that seems right & go with it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t,”

“Where’d you learn that?”

“I fucked up. A lot. I hurt a lot of people who loved me. I hurt myself. I’ve done a million things I wish I could take back. I spent a long time being angry with myself for things I couldn’t change. They were in the past. I couldn’t take back what I said when I was high. I couldn’t take back the things I did to myself to medicate a disease I didn’t know I had. The only thing I could do was learn from it & try to do it differently the next time. You’re looking at Instagram Filter Jac. You didn’t see Julia Anne Candler & I devoutly hope you never do,” she told him.

“Did you start calling yourself Jac?”

“Yeah. I know they say you shouldn’t give yourself your own nickname, but I wanted to change who I was. When I decided to start over I wanted a new name to go with it. I realized my initials spelled a different name so I went from Julia to Jac. In my family I was Julia Anne because my mom is Julia, too. I was Julia in school. I became Jac about a year before you met me,”

“They gave me the name V. I had a couple names to choose from, but it was the only one I even remotely liked. When people asks what it stands for I tell them it means ‘victory’. It’s stupid, but it’s better than saying I didn’t really have a say in it,” Tae told her.

“What would you call yourself if you had a choice?”

“My name. I like my name. I’m okay with people calling me Tae. I’m not crazy about TaeTae, but you’re my _nuna_ so it’s okay,” he smiled. Jac smiled back.

“Nice to know I get special treatment,”

“It had to happen sooner or later,” he stretched out his legs. “How long have we been in here?”

“Two hours,” Jac checked her watch.

“Wasn’t it only supposed to take half an hour?” he said.

“At least it isn’t July with no air conditioning & we’d have to explain why we were in our underwear when they pulled us out,” she laughed.

“I don’t think they’d be happy with you’re not my type,” Tae said.

“Probably not,”

“You’re too short,” he smiled. She laughed again.

“No one ever told me you were funny,”

“No one bothered to ask,”

They sat looking at each other for a few minutes. Tae had bent one knee & rested his arm on it. Jac had stretched out her legs & crossed them at her ankles.

“I see why Yoongi likes you,” he said.

“I’m short?”

“You’re fun. He needs someone fun. I think he has fun about once a month whether he needs to or not,” Tae told her.

“He’s allergic to fun?”

“You challenge him. I think I’ve seen him smile more in the last 5 months than I have in 5 years. That’s including January,” he said.

“Thank you?”

“He needed someone like you. He needed someone to drag him out of his comfort zone. He was the one who really went out of his way to help me & make me feel like I belonged here. They called us the Daegu Boys. When we’d get a break, he’d text me every day to check on me. He’s always been reserved & I eventually accepted that’s who he was. He’d have moments of laughing or goofing around, but not like us. Then you came along. You blew us all away, but you knocked him to the ground. He needed that. He needed a girl, woman, who would drag him out in the middle of the night for pizza or start a splashing contest or kiss him when he didn’t expect it. I always wanted to see him really happy. You make him happy. I’m grateful for you & I’m glad you came into our lives even if we drive you crazy,” Tae said.

“I’m glad I’m in your lives even if you drive me crazy, too,” Jac replied. They heard a metallic creaking sound.

“What the hell?”

The doors to the elevator opened just enough to fit one of them out at a time. One of the maintenance staff held out his hand.

“Up you go,” Tae gave Jac a boost & she climbed out. Tae climbed out after her.

“About damn time,” she grumbled in English.

“Shall we?” Tae held out his arm. Jac looped her arm through his & they walked up the remaining 7 flights of stairs to the studio.

**March 21, 2019**   
**2pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Kookie had lost Rock, Paper, Scissors to tell Jac about “the list”. She was sitting on the couch working on her notes for class that night. Jimin was cuddled under her left arm.

“Ummm, Jac?” Kookie almost tiptoed into the room.

“Yes dear,” she said, not looking up from her notes.

“You know how we’re going to Japan in May,” he said.

“Uh huh,” she still didn’t look up.

“Well they send out a list of everyone who goes on the tour,”

“Mmhmm,”

“Your name wasn’t on there,” he stood like he was bracing for a car crash. Jimin had grabbed onto her waist. She finally looked up.

“Really?”

Kookie nodded.

“Okay. Can you let me up, Jiminie?”

He reluctantly let go of her.

“Go sit with your husband,” she said as she got up. She found the _hyung_ line on the balcony.

“Joon, Yoongi, put on nice pants. We’re going on a field trip,” she said. The fact that her tone hadn’t changed unnerved them. She didn’t sound angry. She sounded disturbingly calm.

“Okay…”

“Be ready in half an hour,”

**3:30pm**

Namjoon & Yoongi struggled to keep up with Jac as she marched into Big Hit’s main office. Her heels clacked angrily on the wood floor.

“Miss Candler,” the receptionist said. “Do you have an appointment?”

“No,” Jac said & kept walking. Namjoon & Yoongi gave her apologetic looks as they followed her. She pushed open the door to Mr. Bang’s second in command without even knocking.

“Did we have a meeting…?” he quickly looked at his computer.

“We did not,” she replied. “However I felt this situation needed to be remedied immediately.”

_Oh shit._ Namjoon thought.

_He’s going to die. She’s literally going to murder him._ Yoongi thought.

“I don’t think I follow,” he said.

“I appear to have been left off the tour personnel list for the Japanese tour,” she said.

“We didn’t feel a translator was necessary for this tour. We’re confident that their Japanese language skills are sufficient for the requirements of the tour,” he replied.

“Uh huh,”

_Why didn’t I wear brown pants? I’m about to shit myself._ Yoongi thought.

_I'm not sure I can handle the sight of this much blood._ Namjoon thought.

“Have you ever heard of a stable pony?”

“No,”

“It’s common in the racing industry. It’s a placidly tempered horse that’s paired with a more high strung racehorse to keep the racehorse calm in stressful situations. While racehorses are expensive, good stable ponies are hard to come by. A good stable pony can be the difference between a horse winning or losing a race. Consider them your racehorses & me their stable pony. You can leave me behind & go through another shit show like you had back in January or you can add me to that list & I’ll make sure that your prized racehorses win every race,” she replied calmly. “And I speak Japanese.”

Yoongi & Namjoon were calculating how fast they could duck if she did try to take off his head. They were pretty sure they couldn’t move fast enough. Jac stared at him & waited for an answer.

“Did I miss anything, boys?” Namjoon & Yoongi vigorously shook their heads.

“Fine. You’ll be added to the list,” he replied.

“Oh I’m not leaving until you add my name & send out the revised list. They have their phones to confirm you did it,” she didn’t take her eyes off of him.

_This is what looking death in the face feels like._ Namjoon thought.

_If I weren’t terrified, this would be sexy as hell._ Yoongi thought.

He typed furiously & hit enter.

“There. You can check,” he said. Namjoon pulled out his phone & checked his emails.

“It’s here,” he showed it to Jac.

“Thank you. I feel this was a very productive meeting,” she smiled. It was full of poison. “Boys.”

She turned on her heel & they followed her out.

“You don’t speak Japanese,” Namjoon said when they got outside.

“I will,” she replied. “You bet your skinny ass I will.”

**March 25, 2019**   
**9:05pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Tae: _You got time for me?_  
Hobi: _Maybe. What do you want?_  
Tae: _Something only you can do._  
Hobi: _Give me 5 minutes._  
Tae: _K_

“I’m going to spend some time with Hobi,” Tae leaned over & kissed Kookie.

“Okay. Don’t have too much fun without me,” Kookie replied.

“We won’t,” Tae smiled.  
Hobi was waiting for him when he got into their room.

“Something only I can do, eh?” he said.

“Do to me what you do to Kookie,” Tae said.

“I’m sorry?”

“You heard me,”

“That’s rougher than you’ve ever tried,” Hobi said.

“I want to see what he likes. I want to feel it,” Tae told him.

“Alright, if you’re sure,” he said.

“I’m sure,” Tae replied. He took a step closer to Hobi. “I know how to play the game.”

“Fine. Let’s see what you can do Little Sub,”

“All kinds of tricks,” Tae got in Hobi’s face. Hobi pulled Tae’s arms behind his back & pulled him into his chest. His lips tickled Tae’s when he talked.

“The only tricks I want to see are the ones I tell you to do. Got it?”

“Understood,”

“Understood…?”

“Understood, sir,” Tae replied.

“Good Little Sub,” Hobi kissed him aggressively. He let go of Tae’s arms & shoved him on the bed. Hobi got on top of him & used his body weight to pin him. Tae kissed him back while trying to get loose.

“It won’t work,” Hobi hissed in his ear. “You move when I want you to move.” Tae stopped struggling. Hobi leaned back & unbuttoned Tae’s jeans. He pulled off his own shirt. He leaned back over.

“Finish stripping while I get Kookie’s favorite toy,” Hobi told him. Tae did as he was told while Hobi got the collar & cuffs. He cuffed Tae’s hands behind his back & put the collar on. Hobi made sure it was fairly loose. He attached the collar to the cuffs.

“Now for the fun part,” he said.

“Do it,” Tae said. Hobi pushed Tae over so his chest was on the bed, but he was still standing on the floor. Hobi ran his hand across Tae’s ass then smacked him. Then he smacked him again. Tae jumped. He hit him a few more times. Hobi pulled down his pants & thrust into Tae. He lightly ran his hands up Tae’s sides.

“That was just getting warmed up,” he said.

“Stop talking & start fucking,” Tae said.

“Don’t talk back to me,” Hobi smacked his ass again. Tae strained against the collar. Hobi started pounding into him. Tae fought more against the collar. He started coughing.

“Easy Little Sub. You’re no fun if you’re passed out,” Hobi said. Tae stopped struggling. “Good Little Sub.” He could feel Tae getting close.

“Finish me,” Tae grunted.

“What was that?”

“Finish me, sir,”

“Yes Little Sub,” Hobi thrust into him one more time & deftly unhooked the chains from the cuffs. Tae bit down on the sheets to stay quiet & arched his back. Hobi held onto his shoulders as he came.

When he finished, Tae rolled over to his side & Hobi had to catch him.

“Do you…?”

“I’m fine,” Hobi replied. He helped Tae back up on the bed & got him out of the collar & cuffs.

“That’s what you do?” Tae rubbed his neck.

“Something like that,” Hobi replied. He wasn’t entirely confident that Tae hadn’t done something to himself when he was fighting against the collar. “How about you sit here for a minute & I’ll go get Jimin.”

“Okay,” he replied.

“Just get dressed & stay here,” Hobi got up & left hoping that Jimin’s second opinion would make him feel better about the situation.

**9:50pm**

Tae stumbled into Jac & Yoongi’s room. He crashed into the doorframe, getting Jac’s attention.

“Tae?”

He swayed back in the other direction, hit the wall, & fell to his knees. Jac jumped out of the chair & ran over to him.

“Tae, what happened?”

“I...Hobi…” he sounded drunk. Jac pushed him over so he was leaning against the wall. Then she saw the marks on his neck.

“Fuck,” she muttered. “You & Hobi did what?”

“I had him do to me what he did to Kookie,” he slurred out. He wasn’t used to the oxygen deprivation & it was giving the impression he was drunk.

“Why would you do that?”

“I wanted to see what it was like,” he breathed. “What he liked.”

“Can you stand up enough to get to the bed?”

“I think so,” he replied. Jac tried to help him up as best she could & they weaved their way over to the bed. Tae collapsed over on his side. Jac stuck her head back in the hall.

“JUNG HOSEOK GET YOUR ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW!”

If she didn’t know physics was a thing, she would’ve sworn that Hobi teleported into their room.

“Explain this,” she pointed to Tae on the bed.

“He wanted to try out hardcore like I did with Kookie. I did everything I could to take it easy on him. I told him not to fight me & I unhooked the bondage collar before he finished. I even put the collar on looser than I normally would have. I don’t know why he wanted to try it, but I went as easy on him as I could given the circumstances,” Hobi told her.

“You could’ve told him no,” she said.

“He’d an adult, Jac. I know you look at us like kids, but we’re not. You’re not our mom. You’re not even that much older than us. You’re what...less than 2 years older than Jin? If he wants to try something a little more hardcore then he can. I did my part. I could’ve treated him exactly like Kookie & he’d actually be passed out right now. I know you love him, but don’t point the finger solely at me. You’re smarter than that,” he replied. Jac knew he was right. Hobi might push them around a little, but he’d never bully them when it came to bondage. Tae had asked for it & Hobi had given it to him. Then Tae came running, or swaying, to her.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“Did you just apologize to me?” Hobi looked shocked.

“Yes, now shoo before I change my mind,” she replied.

“Apology accepted,” Hobi said & scurried out of the room. Jac lied on the bed in front of Tae. She gently touched his face & he jumped a little.

“Good, you’re still alive,” she smiled.

“I’m sleepy,” he said.

“Stay up for a little longer. I want to make sure you’re okay,” she told him.

“Okay,”

“Why’d you do it?”

“I wanted to see what he liked. I wanted to know for myself,” he replied.

“Did you like it?”

“No, my head hurts,”

“That’s from trying to choke yourself. You probably killed a few brain cells in the process,” she smiled a little. Then Kookie came galloping in like a bull in a china shop except bulls in china shops were more graceful.

“Baby what happened? What’d he do to you?” Kookie skidded onto the bed behind Tae. Tae rolled over & looked up at him. Kookie touched the marks on his neck.

“I knew it! I knew he would hurt you sooner or later! I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone with him,” Kookie got more worked up with each sentence.

“I asked him to,” Tae replied. Kookie stared at him.

“I’ll give you two some space,” Jac said & left.

“Why would you do that?”

“I wanted to see what you liked. I wanted to know for myself,” he replied. Kookie didn’t know what to say.

“Let’s go back to our room,” he said. He lifted Tae off the bed & all but carried him back. He carefully took off Tae’s shirt, then his own, & lied them in the bed. Kookie hugged Tae from behind.

“Baby why’d you do that?”

“I told you. I wanted to see what you liked,”

“You could’ve done it with me,”

“You know you wouldn’t have,” Tae replied. “You’re too afraid to hurt me.”

“Hobi hurt you,”

“I asked him to, Kookie. He didn’t force me to do anything,” Tae told him. “I told him to do to me what he did to you.” Kookie hugged him harder.

“Baby I like hard stuff. It’s not stuff that you just...do,” he said.

“Now I know. Now I’ve felt it for myself. Now I can give it to you,” Tae said.

“What?”

“I know what you like, Kookie. Now I know what to give you,” he said. “Even if it isn’t for me.”

“You didn’t have to let Hobi do that to you to give me what I want. I’m happy with what you give me. I promise,” Kookie said.

“You won’t be forever,” Tae said simply. A tiny part of Kookie knew Tae was right. One day he’d need to be tied up & choked. One day he’d need to be spanked hard. One day he’d need to be ordered around. Tae gave him some of that in bits & pieces, but not what Hobi could give him. Now Tae knew exactly what Hobi did to Kookie. He kissed behind Tae’s ear.

“I’m sorry,”

“Why?”

“That you had to do that for me,”

“I didn’t have to do anything. It was a choice. It’s not like I suffered the entire time,” Tae said.

“You liked it?”

“I didn’t like being choked, but the rest of it was basically like normal sex with him,” Tae tilted his head to look at Kookie.

“What’s normal with him?”

“He only knows hard & harder. So he went with harder the entire time & he already spanks me a little so this was more I guess. I don’t know how much detail you want,” he said.

“I think I get it,”

“He’s never injured me either on purpose or accidentally. I don’t think you give either of us enough credit,” Tae told him.

“When you said you needed time with him, I figured he wanted a hand job or something. You are the best,” Kookie said. “If I’d known…”

“If you’d known, you would’ve tried to stop me. I couldn’t let you do that,” Tae replied.

“Baby, I just want to make sure you’re okay,” he grazed his fingers over the marks on Tae’s neck.

“I am okay. I know you love me & you want to protect me. What you’re forgetting is I have a little bit more experience than you. You didn’t take my virginity. You assumed you did. Hobi did. Hobi was the first person I ever blew. Hobi was the first person who ever blew me. Hobi was my first everything pretty much. Do you think he went easy on me? Do you think I got the warm, fuzzy treatment you got from Jimin? I’m not saying he abused me or injured me. He was a Dom & I was a Sub. We both knew the score. It might have been a little bit of a shock at first because I didn’t know what to expect. That doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it. I love you. I love being with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Trust me to take care of myself. Please,” Tae said. Kookie ran his hand down Tae’s arm.

“How did it feel?” he asked quietly.

“I came if that’s what you’re asking,”

“Did he use the collar?” Kookie already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from Tae.

“He let me go at the end,” Tae replied. He rolled over on his back & looked up at Kookie. “He told me to stop fighting & I didn’t listen. That’s how I almost passed out.”

“Baby…” Kookie started. Tae put his hand on the back of Kookie’s neck & pulled him down into a kiss. Kookie kissed him back.

“Trust us. He won’t injure me. I promise,” Tae breathed.

“I’ll try,” he whispered back.

“Thank you,”

“I just want to protect you from everything,” Kookie said.

“I know. I can handle myself, baby. It’s nice to know you want to want to protect me though,” Tae smiled at him. Kookie ran his hand down Tae’s stomach.

“May I?”

“You may,”

Kookie slipped his hand down Tae’s pants. He ran a finger down his whole length.

“I know I won’t be as good as you,” he nestled his face in Tae’s neck.

“I’m sure I’ll enjoy it,” he put an arm behind Kookie’s head. Kookie pushed down Tae’s pants & curled his fingers around his cock. He kissed his neck as he took a long, slow stroke up Tae’s shaft. Tae squirmed in his grip. Kookie stopped & played with the tip. He alternated using his index & middle fingers. Tae moaned & arched his back. Kookie kissed his neck again.

“You like?”

“Mmhmm,”

“Perfect,” Kookie grinned. He used his whole hand to take short, quick strokes. Tae grabbed at Kookie’s arm. Kookie kissed him as he went back to playing with the tip.

“Come for me, baby,” he whispered. Tae thrust against Kookie’s hand as he came. He clawed at Kookie’s arm & groaned. Tae flopped back against the pillow when he finished.

“Thank you,”

“You’re welcome,” Kookie laughed a little as he kissed him. “Time to sleep?”

“Time to sleep,”

**March 27, 2019**   
**9:05pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

“Do you have some time for me tonight?” Kookie asked Hobi after dinner.

“I can make some. You need some sense beaten into you?”

“Something like that,”

“You talked to Tae?” Hobi asked.

“He’s okay with it. He hasn’t spent a lot of time with Jimin since his freak out,” Kookie said.

“Then it’s a date,”

Kookie felt his heart skip a beat when Hobi said “date”. He knew he shouldn’t get excited. Hobi didn’t mean an actual date. Ever since he’d spent the night with him a few weeks ago, Kookie had been trying to figure out a way to get him to do it again. He wasn’t going to trick him necessarily, but maybe offer a strong suggestion that would result in Hobi spending the night with him. That wasn’t a trick. Right?

“So what did you have in mind?” Hobi asked when he got into Tae & Kookie’s room. Kookie scratched the back of his head. Hobi watched as his shirt pulled up revealing some of his stomach.

“I thought maybe we could do something different. Maybe not use the collar & do something else,” he said. Hobi walked over to him & brushed his fingers under the hem of Kookie’s shirt. Kookie tried not to shiver.

“Such as?”

“Just fucking?”

“The Baby Dom only wants his ass pounded?” Hobi put his hand lightly around Kookie’s throat. “Nothing special?”

“I really ne- want you to fuck me,” Kookie caught himself. Don’t sound too desperate. Don’t give yourself away. “A good, old fashioned, hard fucking.”

He reached his hand down Hobi’s shorts and lightly flicked the tip of his cock.

“Haven’t you wanted to fuck me hard? Fuck me so hard that my ass hurts for days? When’s the last time you really, truly got to fuck someone as hard as you wanted? As hard as you needed?” Kookie breathed into Hobi’s neck as he played with his cock. “I know you, Hobi. Even if you could go there with Jimin, you won’t. Tae isn’t into hardcore. You need me. You need to fuck me. I’m the only one who can give you what you need.” Kookie had gotten himself hard just by teasing Hobi.

“Only you can give me what I need?” Hobi said as he grabbed Kookie’s ass & pulled him closer.

“You know I can,” Kookie hissed. “And you want it.”

“You know me so well,” Hobi kissed him.

“Of course I do,” Kookie pulled his hand out of Hobi’s pants & moved his hands up his shirt.

“You want me to fuck you hard?”

“Absolutely,” Kookie kissed Hobi’s neck.

“How hard?”

“I told you. Make my ass hurt for days,” Kookie pulled Hobi’s shirt off.

“But if I do that, then I have to wait longer to fuck you again. And I might not want to wait,” Hobi pushed Kookie’s sweatpants down & grabbed his crotch.

“Did you have something in mind?” Kookie asked.

“Maybe I told Tae & Jimin to enjoy themselves tonight,” Hobi put his free hand on the back of Kookie’s neck. “That I had some...business to attend to this evening.”

Kookie’s pulse spiked. This was his chance.

“How many times did you want to attend to this business?”

“Depends on how hard I go the first time,” Hobi kissed him. Kookie pressed himself against Hobi as he raked his tongue on the inside of Hobi’s teeth.

“You know how much I can take,” he whispered.

“And you’re going to take all of it. Take off your shirt & get on the bed,” Hobi hissed.

“Yes sir,”

Kookie got on the bed & Hobi got up behind him.

“Down,” he put his hand between Kookie’s shoulder blades & pushed his chest on the bed.

“Yes sir,”

“Good Baby Dom,” Hobi grabbed Kookie’s waist & thrust in him. Kookie grunted when he felt Hobi’s cock in his ass. His pulse spiked again.

“Fuck me,” he breathed.

“What was that?” Hobi asked.

“Please fuck me, sir,”

“That’s better,” Hobi smacked his ass. Kookie groaned. “Good Baby Dom.”

Hobi began thrusting into Kookie & Kookie immediately started to fight him. Hobi loved it when he fought him. It made him hotter. It made him want Kookie more. Kookie had learned to associate pain & pleasure almost immediately. He could get off without the pain, but the pain made it so, so much better. Hobi was still holding Kookie’s chest on the bed. He clasped his hands together & braced his arms against the bed. It shoved Hobi’s entire dick in his ass.

“Stop it,” Hobi reached up & swatted him in the back of the head. Kookie released his arms.

“Good Baby Dom,” he said. “Up.”

Kookie got up on his hands & Hobi grabbed his shoulders. He pounded him harder. Kookie kept fighting him. He swayed his back to change the angle Hobi was fucking him.

“If you don’t behave yourself, I won’t play with your cock,” Hobi told him. Kookie straightened out his back. “You’re misbehaving a lot tonight. I may have to spank you later.”

“Maybe you will,” Kookie replied in between gasps. Later. He isn’t planning on leaving soon. Good.

“Are you going to behave?”

“Yes sir,”

“Okay then,” Hobi reached down & took the tip of Kookie’s cock in between his index & middle fingers. “You come when I tell you to come.”

Kookie nodded. His arms were close to giving out. He jumped when Hobi started moving his fingers.

“Fuck,” he breathed. His arms started to shake. “Please sir.”

“Not yet,”

Kookie felt his dick start to twitch.

“Please sir,”

“Not yet Baby Dom,”

Kookie wasn’t sure what was going to give out first, his arms or his cock. He whimpered.

“You can come now Baby Dom,”

Kookie let his arms give out as he thrust into Hobi’s hand. He could barely breathe. He dropped his head & tried to breathe as he kept coming. He’d only had sex with Tae yesterday, but it felt like he hadn’t come in a week. When he finally finished, he felt Hobi holding up his hips. He was too spent to really register Hobi thrusting into him when he came. He only noticed when he fell forward after Hobi let go of him. Hobi rolled over on his back next to him.

“Looks like you needed that more than I did,” he smiled.

_Because I need you._

“Guess so,” Kookie breathed. Hobi sat up a little & rolled Kookie on his back. He pulled Kookie into his side.

“Did I kill you?”

“I don’t know,” Kookie’s hands were still shaking.

“Maybe it will only be one round tonight,” Hobi said.

“No, I’ll be okay,” Kookie hoped he didn’t sound too desperate. Hobi patted his arm.

“If you say so,”

“I’ll be fine. Just don’t leave,” he breathed.

“Eh, Jimin is probably asleep already,” Hobi said. “Might as well stay here.”

“Okay,” Kookie replied. Hobi kissed him. It wasn’t a Dom Kiss. It was a Boyfriend Kiss. It was the kind of kiss that dangled the hope of something more in front of Kookie. Hobi curled up his fingers & grazed them over Kookie’s cheek as he kissed him. Kookie was barely recovered from the first orgasm & he already wanted Hobi in him again. He already wanted to feel him again. He wanted him again. Kookie couldn’t stop himself from rolling on top of Hobi & kissing him harder. Hobi wrapped his arms around Kookie’s shoulders.

“I’m still going to spank you later,” Hobi said.

“I’m counting on it,” Kookie replied.

“Is that why you misbehaved?” Hobi asked as he kissed him more.

“Maybe,”

“Why do I keep you around?”

“Because I’m your favorite Sub,”

“You’re my only Sub,”

“Exactly,” Kookie grinned as he ran his hand down Hobi’s body. “I’ll be ready for you again soon.”

“Don’t push yourself. You’re no fun if you aren’t 100%,” Hobi said.

“Then how about I wake you up when I’m ready for you to fuck me again?”

“Sure, but you have to let me go to sleep first,” Hobi told him.

“But that means I have to stop kissing you,” Kookie whined.

“Then I guess I won’t be going to sleep yet,”

“No, you won’t,” Kookie went back to kissing Hobi. He’d managed to get him to agree to spend the night. Now if he only he could get him to tell him how he really felt about him.

**March 30, 2019**   
**2pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

“Finally I get to use the sex den also known as my apartment,” Jac said as she & Yoongi walked in.

“It took what - 2 months?” Yoongi asked.

“Something like that,” she said.

“How many of these surfaces are covered in semen?” Yoongi eyed the couch with great suspicion.

“I made the Four Horsemen of the Fuckpocalypse deep clean it before they left yesterday,”  
she said.

“I feel slightly better,” he said.

“Jimin supervised,” she replied.

“Now I feel better,”

“Thought so,” Jac went over to the fridge & pulled out a bottle of champagne. “Happy birthday plus 21 days.”

“Thank you,” he kissed her.

“Of course,” she smiled. “What do you want for your birthday?” She poured the champagne into red solo cups & handed him one.

“You mean you don’t have every millisecond of the next 30 hours planned?”

“It’s polite to ask. Or so I’m told,” she took a sip.

“Let me guess - too much alcohol, too much food, & not enough clothes,” he put his drink down & wrapped his arms around her hips.

“Damn. You figured me out,” she said, taking another sip. He took the cup from her & kissed her.

“Excuse you,” she giggled.

“I was tired of watching your lips on that cup. I found a better use for them,” he replied.

“You know 5 months ago, if I said something like that to you, you would’ve had a heart attack,” she said.

“I got over it,” he grinned.

“I’m glad you did,”

“The birthday boy requests less clothing now,” he kissed her again.

“Just keep your package wrapped until you intend to use it. You know how I feel about external genitalia,” she patted his crotch.

“Trust me, it won’t hide much,” he pushed it against her hand.

“I know, humor me,”

“Yes dear,”

“Thank you,” she smiled that smile that could get him to commit murder for her.

“Then more champagne & I’ll outline every millisecond of the next 29 hours & 30 minutes,”

“Thank you,” he kissed her.

“Of course,”

**10:35pm**

Jac rolled over & looked at Yoongi.

“What do you want for your birthday?”

“I got it. Privacy with you,” he replied, rolling onto his stomach.

“An actual gift,” she said.

“I buy everything for myself,” he replied.

“There has to be something,”

“Nope,”

“Ball gags for your brothers?”

“They might take that the wrong way,” Yoongi laughed.

“Fair. New jeans because the ones you actually own are falling apart?”

“I like my jeans Miss Falling Apart Auburn Shirt,”

“Touché. A trip home?”

Yoongi was silent.

“What?”

“I haven’t been home in years. I saw my dad last summer. Hobi put together this picnic thing when we were in Busan. He even paid to get Tae’s mom & my dad out there. I know he did. My family couldn’t afford a trip like that. Especially on short notice. I think it’s been almost 2 years,” he said.

“So is that a yes or a no?” she asked. Yoongi took her arm & looked at the charm bracelet they’d given her for Christmas.

“Thing is I’d want to bring you. They’re pretty traditional. You know, good Korean wife & all. I don’t know how they’d react to an American especially when they accused me of this being just a phase,” he told her.

“I’m just a phase?”

“Not to me. To them you would be. I don’t think they’d like it if I told them that I want to…”

“Want to?”

“Marry you,” he said quietly. Jac propped herself up on her elbows & looked at him.

“You want to marry me?”

“Do you not want to?”

“I just never gave it much thought,” she replied.

“You officiated 2 weddings in 2 months,” he said.

“Yeah, but y’all can be seen together & it’s not weird. I work for you. I’m a girl. Wouldn’t it really suck to pretend like there’s nothing going on between us?”

“We already pretend there’s nothing going on between us,” he insisted.

“Yeah, but I’m not your wife. You’re not pretending you’re single & available to the world when you made a promise to spend the rest of your life with one person,” Jac sat up.

“Why are you getting so upset about this? You do love me, right?” Yoongi asked.

“Of course I love you,”

“Then what's the problem?”

“Marriage is a big deal & I don’t want to have to hide it,” she replied.

“I’m not saying we have to get married right now,”

“Then when? You’re an idol, Yoongi. You’re already risking your career right now. You have a contract. You have obligations. If the wrong person finds out we’re fucking each other then you’re done. Can you imagine if you got married?”

“So I’m just a fuck to you?” Yoongi sat up & faced her.

“Of course not. You’re my boyfriend & I love you,” she reached out to touch his face & he swatted her hand away. She looked stunned. Yoongi immediately looked apologetic.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,”

“Well you did it,” Jac got up & started putting on her clothes.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Going home,” she snapped.

“Jac, come on,” he pleaded.

“You have to be realistic about this, Yoongi. We have to be realistic,” she said.

“Can we not do this on my birthday?”

“You brought it up,” Jac angrily yanked on her shirt.

“I’m not asking you to marry me right this second,” he looked up at her.

“I...know,” she said slowly. “I’m terrified someone will find out & you’ll lose everything you worked so hard to get. I’d never stop blaming myself if that happened.”

Yoongi stood up in front of her.

“I know what I’m doing. I know what the risks are. I don’t care. I love you. You’re not a phase or a fling or a fuck. You’re my girlfriend & someday when this is over, I want you to be my wife. Please don’t be angry. Please,” he rubbed his hands on her arms. Jac considered what he said. She had to trust him. If she loved him, she had to trust him.

“Okay,” she said quietly.

“Now maybe take those clothes back off & get back in bed?” he kissed her.

“Sure,”


	17. Early April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background Music (if you’re so inclined):  
> “Tear” BTS  
> “Nightlight” Silversun Pickups  
> “More Than That” Backstreet Boys  
> “Desire” Meg Myers

**April 2, 2019**   
**9:10pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

“What are we?” Kookie whispered into Hobi’s neck as Hobi unbuttoned his shirt.

“I’m your Dom & you’re my Sub,” Hobi replied as Kookie pushed down his pants & ran his hands over Hobi’s ass.

“We’re more than that now,” Kookie said as Hobi kissed under his chin.

“I’m not in love with you, Kookie,” Hobi told him as he pushed his shirt off & ran his hands down Kookie’s chest.

“Why not?” Kookie asked as he pulled Hobi closer to him.

“Because I’ll only ever love one person. You know that,” Hobi said while he laced his fingers in Kookie’s hair.

“You can’t tell me that you don’t feel something for me,” Kookie replied as he kissed him.

“I feel something for you. It’s called wanting to fuck you,” Hobi hissed in Kookie’s ear.

“Just remember that everything I am is because of you. You created me, Hoseok,” Kookie rested his teeth on Hobi’s shoulder for a moment. Then he bit him. Hobi grunted. He threw Kookie on the bed & got on top of him.

“Did I tell you to do that?” he said.

“No,” Kookie smiled up at him. It had the same venom it had on his birthday.

“I may have created you, Jungkook, but my Subs know when to stay in line. What are you trying to get me to do?” Hobi asked.

“All I want is the truth. Tell me how you feel about me,”

“I told you. I don’t love you. I want to fuck you,” he replied as he kept his forearm across Kookie’s chest.

“Then why did you stay with me before? You could’ve left,”

“You asked me to,”

“Not then. Overnight,” Kookie said.

“I was too lazy to get up. Jimin was probably asleep & I didn’t want to wake him up if I kicked Tae out. It was the path of least resistance,” Hobi replied after a long pause. “If you feel anything for me that’s not my fault. I didn’t hold a gun to your head & tell you to care about me. So we can keep going or you can leave & don’t let the door hit you in that silver medal ass on the way out.”

Kookie looked like Hobi had just stolen his ice cream then kicked his puppy for good measure.

“Fine. Let me up. I’ll take my silver medal ass somewhere else. Good luck finding a Sub who can keep up with you. I quit,”

Hobi leaned back & let him up.

“That’s your right. Good luck finding a Dom who can keep up with you,”

Kookie angrily put his clothes back on & left. He stomped back into their room. Tae looked up when he heard Kookie slam the door.

“I thought you & Hobi were…” Tae started.

“I quit,” Kookie practically launched himself on the bed.

“What? Why?”

“I asked him how he felt about me & he said he wanted to fuck me,” Kookie replied.

“It’s Hobi. What were you expecting?” Tae raised his eyebrow.

“I...I think I’m falling in love with him. I thought he felt something for me, too. When I pushed him, he said he’d only ever love Jimin. We argued & I quit as his Sub,” Kookie told him.

“Baby, it’s Hobi. You can’t confront him like that. All you did was piss him off. Even if he does feel something for you, you pretty much ruined any chance of him telling you by trying to force him to say something. Also, you need to ask him to take you back as his Sub,” Tae sighed.

“Why would I do that? He doesn’t need a Sub,” Kookie replied.

“He’s a much more tolerable human being when he has a regular Sub. I can do it if you won’t,”

“NO!” Kookie nearly threw himself into Tae’s lap. “No. You don’t need to do that.”

“I will if I have to. Even if Jimin could right now, Hobi won’t go there with him. He never did & he never will. It’s either you or me & it’s not like I’ve never Subbed for him before,” Tae replied.

“He won’t take me back,” Kookie said.

“I have more than a little influence with his husband. He’ll take you back,” Tae told him.

“What about the first part?”

“What? Falling in love with him?”

“Yeah,”

“It took 3 years & a knock down drag out fight with Jimin before he told him that he loved him. Do you honestly think he’s going to readily admit he loves you after less than a year of fuck & walk away? Though I’m curious why you feel that way,” Tae pulled Kookie down on the bed with him & rested his head on Tae’s chest.

“After Jimin got hurt, we had sex like we normally do. I asked him to stay. I don’t know why. We talked, I dunno, like a normal couple not like a Dom & Sub. He spent the night with me & he told me how hot I was. He always talks about my ass or my arms or my abs. He’s never called me, as in all of me, hot. He said he needed me. Maybe I got the wrong idea, but I felt like there was something more there. He could’ve gotten up & made you leave. He said he didn’t because he didn’t want to wake up Jimin. I dunno. Then the second time he said he wanted to go more than one round so he didn’t leave. I’m just imagining things. He was nice to me twice after sex & all of a sudden I think he cares about me,” Kookie sniffed. Tae rested his hand on the side of Kookie’s head.

“How do you think he fell in love with Jimin?” Tae asked.

“What?” Kookie wiped his eyes & picked up his head.

“Just something to think about. I’ll talk to Jimin about getting you back as Hobi’s Sub. If you want to be,”

“I don’t know,”

“Okay. Then let’s lie here for a bit while you calm down,” Tae rubbed Kookie’s arm. Kookie nodded. “Good.”

**9:39pm**

“That was quick,” Jimin said when he came back into their room.

“It’s easy to be quick when you don’t actually seal the deal,” Hobi looked up at him.

“What happened?” Jimin hopped over & sat next to Hobi.

“He was trying to get me to say I love him,” Hobi put his head in his hands. Jimin put his arm around his shoulders.

“Do you?”

“If I do, I’m betraying you & everything I promised you,” he replied.

“How?” Jimin asked.

“I promised you’d be the only one I ever loved. All the rest of them are just sex. They’re nothing more than that. I love you. I love only you. If I love someone else, then I’ve betrayed you. I can’t do that, Jiminie. I won’t,” Hobi brushed Jimin’s hair back. Jimin put his hand on Hobi’s cheek.

“Oh Hobi- _hyung_. My wonderful, amazing Hobi- _hyung_ , you wouldn’t be betraying me. I know you love me. I know what you’ve done for me. I promised to be your husband. I may not be the best husband, but I’m working on it. I love someone else, but he’s not my husband. He’s not you. People tell you that you treated me poorly & maybe you did. They weren’t there when you made love to me on my 21st birthday. Maybe you don’t remember either, but you told me you wanted to try something different. I was scared because I had no idea what you wanted to try. Then you told me that you wanted to make love to me just to see what it was like. I laughed & asked if you’d had too much to drink. You swore you hadn’t. Then we made love. All night. The next morning you made me promise not to tell anyone. I’ve never told anyone. I like that it’s something between us. You showed me that you weren’t just a Dom over the years. It took me a while to know what to look for, but once I did I knew you weren’t who you wanted people to think you were,” Jimin smiled at him. “If you do love Kookie, and only you can know that, you aren’t betraying me. I’ll always be your husband. I’ll love you until the day I die. Don’t fight something like this. I did & it almost ruined us all.”

“I love you so much, Jiminie,” Hobi wiped his eyes.

“I love you, too, Hobi- _hyung_ ,” Jimin kissed him. Hobi kissed him back.

“How’s your foot?”

“Okay,”

“Make love to me,” he whispered. Jimin smiled.

“I can do that,”

Hobi lifted Jimin toward the head of the bed & carefully got on top of him. He kissed Jimin slowly. He took the time to feel Jimin’s lips on his. To listen to his breathing. To smell his skin. He felt Jimin’s fingertips brush up his arms to his back. Hobi grazed Jimin’s lips with his tongue as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

“Marry me,” Hobi whispered.

“Always,” Jimin whispered back. He took off his shorts & Hobi sat up to take off his jeans. Hobi pulled off Jimin’s shirt, then his own. He lied back on top of Jimin & reveled in the feeling of their skin touching. It felt like the first time. Their first time hadn’t been romantic or thoughtful or particularly gentle, but the feeling of their bodies touching never changed. It was always like a cross between a tickle & a light shock you might get from a doorknob in the winter. Every time Hobi thought he caught his breath, the feeling would jolt him again. This was his husband. This was his first & deepest love. It was okay to love someone else, too. He would never love anyone the way he loved Jimin. Jimin would never love anyone the way he loved Hobi.

“I love you,” Hobi breathed.

“I love you, too,” Jimin tightened his grip around Hobi’s shoulders. “And I’d love to have your cock inside me right now.”

“I love it when you talk dirty,” Hobi grinned.

“You’re welcome,”

Hobi slid into him & smiled down at him.

“What?”

“I get to spend the rest of my life with you,”

“When did you get so sentimental?”

“I guess you wore me down,” Hobi leaned down & kissed him.

“Finally,” Jimin laughed. Hobi loved that sound. Even more than he loved the sound of Jimin coming, he loved to hear him laugh. Their early flirting had been tickle fights. Though it was really Hobi tickling Jimin until Jimin begged for mercy. Hobi always grudgingly stopped because it meant he had to let go. Now he could hold onto Jimin forever.

Hobi moved in & out of Jimin slowly. Jimin moved with him. Hobi reached down & supported Jimin’s bad leg with his hand under his knee. Jimin smiled up at him.

“Still protecting me,”

“Always,”

They watched each other as they moved together like well choreographed dancers. They knew every move, twist, turn, & breath. Then Hobi felt the tickle at the end of his dick.

“Ready, my prince?” Jimin nodded. Hobi thrust into him & Jimin came. He grabbed onto Hobi’s arms & arched his back. His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath. Hobi held onto his leg to keep him from hurting himself more. He massaged Jimin’s cock with his other hand. That only made him writhe & gasp more. Jimin let go when he finished & looked up at Hobi.

“Marry me,”

“Of course,” Hobi leaned down & kissed him.

“Aren’t you going to finish?” Hobi licked one of his fingers, then wiped down Jimin’s stomach & his hand.

“I’m fine. All I need is you,” he pulled out & lied down next to Jimin.

“Let me know if I can help out,”

“Of course,”

“Do you think you love him?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Hobi replied. “When I wouldn’t tell him what he wanted to hear, he stormed out & quit as my Sub.”

“That won’t last,” Jimin said.

“Because of me or because of him?”

“A little of both. In case you haven’t noticed, you both have tempers. Then when you cool off, you regret something you said or did,” Jimin looked over at him. “If this isn’t one of those things, then I’ll be shocked.”

“Then what do I do?”

“You could do what Tae & I did. We spent a little over a day having sex & figuring out what we were to each other. Granted it didn’t start out that way, but maybe you should consider it,”

“What if he loves me & I don’t love him?”

“Then we’ll figure something out,” Jimin replied.

“You really think that’s a good idea?”

“Can’t hurt,”

**April 5, 2019**   
**8pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Kookie stood there staring at Hobi after he closed the door.

“Will you take me back?” he asked.

“Yes,” Hobi replied. “If you want to come back & not just because Jimin & Tae put you up to it.”

“I do. It was my choice,” Kookie swallowed hard. “Is my choice.”

“Then I’ll take you back,” Hobi replied.

“What about the other thing?”

“We have a little over 24 hours to figure it out,” Hobi said. Neither of them wanted to say love out loud like it would somehow summon a demon.

“I don’t know what to do,” Kookie couldn’t hold his hands still. Hobi walked over to him.

“Let me,” he said. He took Kookie’s hands & rested them on his lower back as he kissed him. He rested one arm on Kookie’s shoulder & put his other hand on the back of Kookie’s neck. He kissed him slowly & deliberately. Kookie tentatively pulled Hobi closer. Hobi let him do it.

“Is this…?” Kookie breathed. Hobi put his finger to Kookie’s lips.

“I’m not your Dom & you’re not my Sub right now. Just go with it,” Hobi trailed his finger across Kookie’s bottom lip.

“Okay,” he still wasn’t sure what was going on. Hobi kissed him again. Kookie let himself relax a little. Tae had told him it was okay. Whatever happened was okay. He’d been with Hobi dozens of times. Never like this, though. He was waiting for Hobi to shove him against the wall or onto the couch. He wasn’t used to only standing here kissing him.

Hobi was trying to remember what Jimin told him. Don’t Dom him unless he asks. Be gentle. Treat him like he wanted to treat Jimin in the early days. He’d get an answer that way. He wouldn’t get an answer if he kept him in handcuffs the whole time. That wasn’t the purpose of this exercise. Whatever the answer was would be okay. Hobi was still afraid it would be “I love you”.

“Can we...um...get in bed?” Kookie asked. He scratched the back of his head.

“Sure,” Hobi said. Be patient with him.

Kookie took Hobi’s hand & led him down to the bedroom.

“Did you have something in mind?” Hobi asked.

“Not really. I want to feel you,” Kookie replied.

“Okay…”

“I want to feel all of you,” Kookie sounded a little more confident this time.

“Okay. What do you want me to do?” Hobi asked.

“Take off your clothes,” he said. Hobi didn’t break eye contact as he stripped. Kookie tentatively took off his clothes.

“Why are you so nervous?” Hobi asked.

“I keep waiting for you to throw me down & take me,” Kookie admitted.

“I won’t Dom you unless you ask me to,” Hobi told him.

“You won’t?”

“No,”

“You promise?”

“I promise on my marriage & you know what that means to me,” Hobi said. Kookie nodded. He stepped over & kissed Hobi. Their bodies touching felt like the moment right after you get dropped on a roller coaster. Your heart feels stationary, but the rest of your body is moving. It was thrilling. Hobi put his hands on Kookie’s ass & pulled him closer. Kookie leaned back & took them both falling onto the bed. He held his hands on Hobi’s face as he ground his hips into Hobi’s. Hobi had looped his arms over Kookie’s head as he ran his tongue across Kookie’s lips.

“What do you want?” he whispered.

“I want you inside me. I want to have sex like normal,” Kookie told him.

“What’s normal?”

“No spanking, no sir, no Baby Dom, just...us,” he replied.

“Do you want my hands around your neck?”

“No,” Kookie had to think about it for a second.

“Then this might be kind of boring,” Hobi told him.

“I want to try anyway,”

“If that’s what you want,” Hobi said. Kookie nodded. Hobi sat up & Kookie rolled over. He got up on his hands & knees. Hobi got up behind him.

“Here we go,” he said. He slid into Kookie & sat there for a moment. The last time he’d really taken any time to feel Kookie had been the first time. He’d loosened up a bit since then. He was still tight.

He leaned forward & kissed between Kookie’s shoulders.

“You can relax. I’m not going to pound you unless you ask me to,” he told him. Hobi felt Kookie’s shoulders shift forward & his hips drop a little. “There you go.”

“You ready?” Kookie breathed out & nodded. “What are you so afraid of?”

“I’ve never done this before,” Kookie said quietly.

“I know full well you aren’t a virgin,” Hobi said.

“No, with you. I’ve never done this with you before,” he said.

“I won’t hurt you, Kookie. Contrary to popular belief, I can be gentle,” Hobi told him.

“Okay,” he didn’t sound convinced.

“If it makes you feel better, you can use the safe word & I’ll stop,” Hobi said. Hobi felt him relax. “Now are you ready?”

“Yes,”

Hobi moved in & out of Kookie slowly. He brushed up Kookie’s sides & ran one palm down his back. Kookie’s breathing hitched. Hobi knew that sound.

“There you go,” Hobi leaned on Kookie’s back as he kept slowly rocking back & forth. He ran his hands down his chest. He stopped at his lower abdomen. Hobi took his index finger & drew a circle around the base of Kookie’s cock. Kookie moaned.

“You like that?”

“Yes,” Kookie breathed. Hobi drew another circle. Kookie moaned again. “Grab my cock.”

“You want me to finish you like that?” Kookie nodded.

“Can do,” Hobi slowly put his hand on Kookie’s dick as he kept thrusting. He took long, carefully timed strokes in time with the thrusting. He stopped thrusting & held the tip between his index & middle fingers. He alternated brushing the tip with each finger. Kookie started panting & pushing his ass against Hobi’s cock. Hobi ground against Kookie’s ass as he played with his dick.

“Finish me,” Kookie gasped. Hobi stopped, waited, then thrust & brushed the tip at the same time. Kookie came. Hobi grabbed onto his cock with his whole hand as he came. Kookie thrust back against Hobi as he thrashed & screamed. Hobi had never seen Kookie come like this. It was like he was begging for more while he was coming. Was that even a thing? Could he give it to him? If Hobi hadn’t been holding him up, Kookie would’ve collapsed like a sack of potatoes under him.

“Finish yourself,” Kookie breathed.

“If you insist,” Hobi lowered Kookie down. He thrust into him more & Kookie still grunted & moaned. Hobi had to resist grabbing Kookie’s throat as he came. He settled for grabbing the sheets as he pounded into Kookie. That was one thing he couldn’t control. He heard Kookie gasp & moan under him. When he finished & got off Kookie’s back, he looked over at him with a raised eyebrow.

“You still liked it after you finished?”

“I didn’t want you to pull out. Now that I got to feel you, you’ve got a fucking amazing cock,” Kookie kissed him. “As if your ego needed boosting.”

“I thought I was too big?” Hobi said.

“I was a virgin. I didn’t know any better,”

“Better than Tae’s?”

“I think it’s a tie. You definitely beat Jimin,” Kookie kissed him again.

“Well then,” Hobi said blinking like he’d been exposed to a bright light. “So what you’re saying is you don’t care about me, you care about my dick.”

Kookie blushed & dropped his gaze.

“Maybe I was confused because you don’t stay with me after we have sex. You get up & leave. Not only did you stay, but you spent the night. You told me that you needed me. I thought that meant something. Maybe I wanted it to mean something. It wasn’t just a one time thing that happened because you didn’t want to wake up Jimin,” Kookie looked steadfastly down at his hands. Hobi reached down & laced his fingers through Kookie’s.

“I was kidding about the dick thing,” Hobi said.

“I care about you, Hobi. More than a Sub should care about a Dom. You’re more than just a fuck to me. I don’t know if this is something more & I want to be more than a Sub to you. I don’t know. I don’t think I’m saying any of this right. It’s all jumbled up in my head,” Kookie squeezed Hobi’s hand. Hobi gently ran his free hand up Kookie’s chest & neck. He tilted his chin to look at him.

“Tell me what is going through your head,”

“What just happened & spending the night with you & hearing you say that you needed me makes me want to be more than your Sub. I know you’re married & I know that will never change, but I want to be more than a silver medal ass in a bondage collar to you,” Kookie told him. Hobi considered what Kookie said.

“Did you enjoy what we did?” he asked.

“Yes,”

“More than Subbing?”

“The same? Maybe? I mean, it was totally different,” Kookie replied.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“Is that a thing?”

“Tae is Jimin’s boyfriend,” Hobi said.

“I, uh, I don’t know. Like I said I feel like everything is all jumbled up in my head,” Kookie said.

“How about this - how about we role play the rest of the time? We’ll pretend that we’re boyfriends & see how it goes. Sound fair?” Hobi suggested.

“What if I want you to Dom me?”

“I still Dom Jimin sometimes & we’re married. One doesn’t negate the other,” Hobi told him.

“So pretend we’re boyfriends,”

“Until we leave tomorrow,”

“I can do that,”

“Then let’s get started - boyfriend,”

**8:15pm**

“How do you think they’re doing?” Jin asked Namjoon as they cleaned up after dinner.

“I hope they’re doing okay. Hobi can be so goddamn stubborn,” Namjoon replied.

“You think he’ll admit how he feels?”

“How long did it take for him to admit he loved Jimin? He’s not going to admit he loves Kookie after a week,” Namjoon said.

“They’ve been together, as it were, for 9 months. Something had to happen in all that time,” Jin replied.

“You really think Hobi loves him?”

“I wouldn’t go that far, but Kookie is more than just a Sub to him,”

“I dunno, he’s so vocal about how he’ll never love anyone other than Jimin,” Namjoon pointed out. Jin shrugged.

“Can you really control who you fall in love with? I fell in love with a rapper with a flat top,” he smiled.

“And I fell in love with a scrawny guy with no coordination,” Namjoon kissed him. “Point taken.”

“All of them were pretty slutty to begin with. I’m not surprised at all that this is happening,” Jin said as he dried off the last dish.

“Don’t hold back, tell me how you really feel,” Namjoon laughed.

“What can I say? Most of our children can’t keep it in their pants,” Jin hugged Namjoon.

“Speaking of pants, is it time for me to get you out of yours yet?”

“Soon my dear. We have to tuck in the kids first, remember?”

“At least we know they won’t make us unwilling uncles,” Namjoon laughed a little as he grabbed Jin’s ass.

“Jac & Yoongi are our only hope there,”

“Oh lord. Mini Jacs & Yoongis running around. Maybe we’re better off not being uncles,” They both laughed.

**9:09pm**

_Just pretend he’s Jimin. Treat him like you wanted to treat Jimin in the beginning_. Hobi told himself.

_Don’t panic. DON’T PANIC. Follow his lead_. Kookie told himself.

Hobi came up behind Kookie & put his arms around his waist.

“You want some dinner? I can cook for us,” he kissed Kookie’s ear.

“You can cook?” Kookie asked.

“Yup. I’m full of surprises,” he grinned.

“Sure. I don’t know what’s here to cook though,” Kookie turned around to face Hobi.

“Jac came by earlier & stocked the fridge with more than just wine,” Hobi replied. “I think I should be able to make us some real ramen & not the instant stuff that Jimin likes.”

“You think?”

“If I screw it up, there’s a noodle place down the street that delivers,” Hobi smiled.

“Then please treat me to your cooking,” Kookie kissed him. Hobi kissed him back harder. He was about to take off Kookie’s shirt when he heard his stomach growl.

“I have my priorities,” Kookie smiled.

“That you do,” Hobi smiled back. “Let me get you an appetizer.” Hobi pulled a bottle of vodka out of the cabinet & some orange juice out of the fridge. He’d obviously been taking bartending lessons from Jac because the ratio of vodka to orange juice was impressively large.

“Are you trying to get me drunk before dinner?” Kookie asked when Hobi handed it to him.

“Maybe it’s a precaution in case dinner doesn’t turn out as well as I’d like,” Hobi smiled.

“Just don’t get me too drunk. Then you won’t get any dessert,” he replied as he took a sip.

“Oh really?”

“Maybe I was considering sucking that fucking amazing cock of yours after dinner,” Kookie whispered in Hobi’s ear. Hobi shivered.

“I guess I better make dinner good, shouldn’t I?” he replied.

“I guess you should,” Kookie kissed Hobi’s jaw. “And soon. I’m hungry.”

“Yes dear,” Hobi kissed him & went back into the kitchen.

_This isn’t so bad. I might even be getting the hang of this_. Hobi thought.

_I want you. I want all of you. Please, please want me, too_. Kookie thought.

**9:20pm**

“I’m pretty sure when my dad rented me that apartment he wasn’t counting on it becoming a sex den,” Jac said to Yoongi as they got ready for bed.

“I don’t think you were counting on it becoming a sex den,” Yoongi replied.

“Fair,”

“Think they’re doing okay?”

“I dunno. That’s a pair of pretty hot tempers,” she replied. “That’s why they got along as Dom & Sub in the first place.”

“Do you think they love each other?”

Jac shrugged.

“I was wrong about Tae loving Jimin so I’m not going to try & handicap this one,”

“I think they do,” Yoongi said.

“What makes you think that?” Jac asked as she got under the covers.

“I spent a lot of time with both of them in January. Hobi stayed up until all hours because he didn’t want me to wake up alone. When you were out of town in March, Kookie offered to stay in here with me. He noticed I was upset & stayed with me until we met you in Singapore,”

“Which is why he was in the bed with you when I called,” she said.

“I didn’t want to tell you because I was embarrassed. Both he & Hobi did it without batting an eye. They may have tempers, but they’re both really thoughtful & caring. I think, honestly, both of them have been fighting this for months. Hobi does what Hobi wants to do when Hobi wants to do it. If he didn’t want to stay with Kookie, he would’ve told him no. I’m absolutely sure of that. He wanted to stay with him, he wanted to spend the night with him, & he’s fighting his feelings for him like his life depends on it. If I had to guess, Kookie is doing something similar. Whether or not they come back admitting that they feel something for each other is up for debate. I know they feel something more than just a Dom / Sub thing for each other,” Yoongi said.

“Impressive,” Jac said.

“What?”

“I didn’t think you were that observant,”

“Shut the fuck up,”

Jac laughed hysterically.

“I love you, too,” she kissed him.

“Good night, Jac Candler,” he poked her in the ribs.

“Good night, Min Yoongi,” she poked him back.

**10:01pm**

Kookie pushed Hobi against the doorframe as he kissed him.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he smiled.

“You know I like it rough,” Hobi put his hands up the back of Kookie’s shirt.

“Good,” Kookie kissed him harder & pinned Hobi to the frame with his entire weight. Hobi scratched Kookie’s back & Kookie moaned. Hobi pushed down Kookie’s pants & grabbed his ass.

“What do you want to do to me?” Kookie breathed as he looked down at Hobi.

“I believe you said sucking my cock was an option?” Hobi replied.

“Unless you have something you want more,”

“Do I want something else from my insanely hot boyfriend who already offered to blow me? Did you have any ideas?”

“Spank me,” Kookie kissed Hobi’s neck. “Then hold my head down while I blow you. Make me do what you want. Make me get you off.”

“Are you asking me to Dom you?” Hobi asked.

“I am,” Kookie kissed him again. “Tell the Baby Dom what you want. I’m here for your pleasure. Sir.”

“Then take off your clothes & show me your ass,”

“Yes sir,” Kookie replied.

Once their clothes came off, Kookie climbed on the bed. He put his chest on the bed & left his ass in the air. Hobi crawled behind him.

“Have you been a bad Baby Dom?” he asked.

“I have,”

“What did you do?”

“I bit my Dom without permission,”

“That is a bad Baby Dom,” Hobi slapped him. “Did you do anything else?”

“I was mean to my Dom,”

“You shouldn’t do that,” Hobi slapped him again. “Anything else?”

“I didn’t let my Dom get me drunk,” he said.

“That’s not so bad. Your Dom needs you to be able to get you up. I’ll still punish you anyway,” Hobi slapped him. He slapped him a few more times & Kookie moaned each time.

“You can suck my cock now, Baby Dom. No getting my legs wet this time, though,” Hobi said.

“No sir,” Kookie put a towel under him as he positioned himself between Hobi’s legs. Kookie licked up the shaft & tickled the tip with his tongue when he got to the top. Hobi adjusted himself & grunted. Kookie put his mouth around Hobi’s cock & slowly moved his tongue side to side. He took the tip of his tongue & made short strokes on the underside. Hobi pushed his cock deeper into Kookie’s mouth. Kookie pushed Hobi’s knees apart & took his whole dick in his mouth. He ran his hands up & down Hobi’s thighs as he licked around the base of his cock. Hobi groaned & held Kookie’s head down. Kookie grabbed Hobi’s hips & increased the pace he was licking. Hobi ground against Kookie’s face.

“Fucking finish me, Baby Dom,” he grunted. Kookie wrapped his lips around his teeth & lightly bit down. Hobi came. After a few thrusts into his mouth, Kookie came. He clawed at Hobi’s thighs & pounded into the bed as he came. Hobi had a solid grip on Kookie’s hair as he arched his back & screamed. Kookie’s nails in his leg only made the feeling more intense. Hobi let go of Kookie’s hair when he finished. Kookie finished a few seconds later & rested his head on Hobi’s thigh.

“Did I please you, sir?”

“Very much, Baby Dom,” Hobi brushed his hand through Kookie’s hair. “Would you rather do this until we leave?” Kookie thought about it.

_You won’t get an answer if you act like his Sub_.

“No, I just wanted a Dom session. That’s all,” Kookie sat up & looked at Hobi.

“So next time I’ll take you slow again?” Hobi smiled.

“Please god yes,” Kookie straddled Hobi & kissed him.

“We’re going to be having sex all night, aren’t we?”

“Yup,”

“Perfect,” Hobi replied.

**April 6, 2019**   
**12:45am**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Hobi trailed a finger up Kookie’s chest. Kookie stretched & put his arm behind Hobi’s shoulders. He kissed the side of Hobi’s head. Hobi rested his finger in the space between Kookie’s collarbones.

“I don’t want to go back tomorrow,” Kookie said.

“It is tomorrow,” Hobi said.

“Then today,”

“Why not?” Hobi asked.

“I like this. I like feeling…wanted,” he replied. Hobi rolled onto his stomach & propped his chin on Kookie’s chest.

“Tae doesn’t want you anymore?”

“It feels like he wants Jimin more,”

“I know how you feel,” Hobi said. “I stayed with you that night because you made me feel needed. I haven’t felt needed in a long time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Maybe it's just something that happens over time or maybe it’s because he got into a relationship with Tae, but I feel like Jimin doesn’t need me anymore. Not like need me to open jars or kill cockroaches, but need me to satisfy him. To make him feel whole. I miss feeling like that,” Hobi told him.

“I feel the same way about Tae. I love him more than anything, but I feel like he doesn’t need me anymore. I could disappear & he wouldn’t notice,” Kookie sighed.

“Now I know that’s not true,” Hobi said.

“What?”

“That you’d disappear & he wouldn’t notice. He had me use the collar on him so he could be a better partner to you. He’s been working with me a lot to be a better partner to you. He loves you, Kookie. It would kill him if you disappeared,” Hobi told him.

“Really?”

“Really,”

“I’m sorry I got mad at you for hurting him,” Kookie said.

“Apology accepted,”

“I guess I just want to protect him from everything & if he can handle being with you, then I’m not sure what to do. Who am I if he doesn’t need me to protect him?”

“You can still be his boyfriend. I spent a long time protecting Jimin. I’m still not very good at letting him fend for himself even though I know he can. His eating disorder was hard on both of us. It almost killed him & almost broke me. I felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall when I’d tell him how perfect & beautiful he was then find him purging 2 hours later. We went on like that for 7 months. I hid him from cameras. I hid him from the world. He never told me what made him stop. I never asked because I didn’t want to trigger anything again. I was grateful & moved on. It killed me when I realized he’d been too afraid to tell me he’d started again because of how hard it was last time. All I wanted was to be there for him, but he tried to hide it from me. He wanted to protect me in a bizarre, backwards way. Didn’t change how much it hurt,” Hobi told him.

“Even if Jimin doesn’t need you right now, I do. I didn’t just mean that I needed you to fuck me or I needed you to Dom me when I said it last time. I need you because you understand. You understand me in a way Tae never can because he doesn’t get off on it. You understand how much it hurts when you want to be with your partner, but he’s with someone else. Someone he loves. Maybe more than he loves you,” Kookie’s voice wavered. “And you understand the doubt that creeps into your head even though he swears he loves you & would never leave you. I need you because you understand me, Hobi. Please don’t make me go through this alone.”

Kookie’s shoulders shook as he tried not to cry. Hobi sat up & pulled Kookie into his chest.

“It’s okay. Let it all out,” Hobi told him.

“He swears he won’t leave me, but I see how he looks at Jimin. I know that look. He used to look at me that way. I can’t remember the last time he looked at me that way. I know how bad I screwed up when we started dating. I should’ve listened to myself & not everyone else. I didn’t know any better. I thought I was doing the right thing. I love him so much. I don’t know what I’d do without him,” Kookie sobbed.

“I’ve been there, Kook. I screwed up a lot with Jimin for a long time. He put up with a lot of my crap when he didn’t have to. He told me on our wedding night that he always knew he’d marry me. Even after all the times I screwed up, he never gave up on me. When the time came, I refused to give up on him. I see the way they look at each other, too. I see how Tae looks at you. You may not see it, but he still looks at you like you’re the only man in the room. I’ve probably had sex with him more times than I have with you. Our pillow talk is always about how he can make you happy. He adores you & maybe you’ll be able to see that again someday,” Hobi hugged him. “But I won’t make you do it alone. I’ll stay with you.”

“Thank you,” Kookie sniffed & buried his face in Hobi’s neck.

“I love you, Jungkook,” he whispered into Kookie’s hair.

“I love you, too, Hoseok,” Kookie replied.

There. He’d said it. He hadn’t forced himself or guilted himself into saying it. Hobi loved him if for no other reason than his love needed somewhere to go & Kookie desperately needed someone to love him.

Kookie picked up his head & wiped his nose.

“Sorry. I got your shoulder all snotty,”

“It’s not the first time you’ve gotten bodily fluids on me & it won’t be the last,” Hobi grabbed a tissue & wiped off his shoulder. He grabbed another one & gave it to Kookie.

“Does this mean we stay boyfriends? Or do we go home & go back to being Dom & Sub?” Kookie asked.

“What do you want?” Hobi asked, brushing tears off Kookie’s cheek with his thumb. Something he wished he’d done for Jimin in the early days.

“I want to stay like this, but I still want to be your Sub,” he said.

“You can love me & be my Sub. I can love you & be your Dom. There aren’t any strict rules,” Hobi replied. _Okay, maybe there are, but moving on…_

“Can you spend the night with me sometimes?” he asked. Hobi nodded.

“Can we have normal sex?”

Hobi nodded again.

“Can you keep a secret?”

“If it’s not about you hurting yourself or hurting someone else, then yes,”

“Your cock is better than Tae’s,”

Hobi laughed a little.

“Your secret is safe with me,”

“If you’ve had sex with all 3 of us, who’s the best?” Kookie asked.

“Is that really a question worth asking?” Hobi smiled at him. “You’ve had sex with everyone else, too.”

“I know you’ll say Jimin, but you took Tae’s virginity so that’s why I asked,”

“Never bother yourself when it comes to a virgin’s technique. There isn’t any,” Hobi brushed Kookie’s tear sticky hair off his face. “Jimin will always be my first, even if he wasn’t my literal first.”

“Tae said Jimin was his best, too,” Kookie rested his forehead on Hobi’s.

“And you want to be somebody’s favorite,” Hobi said.

“I know it’s silly,” Kookie sighed.

“I don’t even put you in the same category as Jimin. I don’t compare you to each other because my relationship with you is different,” Hobi told him.

“You said I have a silver medal ass,” Kookie looked at him.

“You missed the gold by millimeters. Does that make it better?”

“I guess,”

“Kook, I’ve watched you grow up into who you are now & it’s hard to believe that someone as sexy as you wants me to fuck him. You’re not just a set of great abs & toned arms. You’re a good person. You care about people. That’s just as sexy as a great body. It’s the whole package. I’m not exactly a catch. Remember that you chose me. Even if it was some backwards way to get to Tae, for some reason you were okay with sleeping with me. You were okay with being Dommed. You didn’t have to do any of that & you did. That put the power in your hands not mine. Yes, I may have molded you into something a little more than either of us bargained for. Yes, mistakes were made. I said hurtful things because I was angry or frustrated. I’m sorry for the things I said that hurt you. I’m willing to start over if you are,” Hobi said.

“How would we start over?” Kookie asked.

“Tell me what you want. I’ll tell you what I’m able to give you,” Hobi replied. Kookie thought for a moment.

“You said I could be your Sub & your boyfriend?”

“Yeah,”

“Then can you stay with me after you Dom me? Like spend the night?”

“I can do that,”

“Then let’s start there,” Kookie said.

“Sure,” Hobi agreed. They settled back down in the bed.

“Good night, boyfriend,” Kookie said.

“Good night, boyfriend,” Hobi replied, kissing the top of Kookie’s head. Kookie cuddled against Hobi’s side as he went back to sleep. At least one person loved him.

**1:14pm**

“Take me standing up,” Kookie said.

“How do you suggest I do that?” Hobi asked.

“I think I know how,”

“Am I going to have to clear my search history?”

“No, but thanks for the implication,” Kookie stuck his tongue out. “You know how you usually take me when I’ve got the collar on?”

“Uh huh,”

“Start like that & I just stand up. That should work,” he said.

“Anything else?” Hobi was still skeptical.

“Remember that thing you did to me on Halloween?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t have my dick in your ass that time,”

“I have hands, too,” Kookie kissed him.

“You’re going to jerk yourself off while I’m fucking you with my arm around your neck?”

“That’s what I want to try,” Kookie told him. “Your husband is quite a good storyteller.”

“He is,” Hobi agreed. “I don’t know if I can think of a good story to tell.”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Kookie kissed under Hobi’s chin as he ran his hands down his back.

“Is calling you Baby Dom fair game?” he asked.

“Everything is fair game,” Kookie slid his hand between Hobi’s legs & ran his fingers down Hobi’s cock.

“That’s dangerous territory,” Hobi told him as he smacked Kookie’s ass.

“I’m not afraid of a little risk,” he replied as he licked up the side of Hobi’s neck.

“Then bend over & let me have my way with you,”

“Yes sir,”

Kookie bent over the bed & Hobi entered him.

“Now we see if this works,” Kookie said. He stood up & Hobi moved with him.

“Not bad,” Hobi said. He wrapped one arm around Kookie’s neck & locked it in place with the other one. He thrust up. Kookie grunted.

“Good?”

“You’re going to have awesome quads when we’re done,” Kookie breathed.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Hobi thrust up again. “You wanted me to tell you a story?”

“Yup,” Kookie grabbed his cock.

“Let’s see,” Hobi thrust. “There was a Baby Dom who didn’t know how to behave himself. He bit his Dom without permission. He pushed his Dom around. He got another Sub to help push his Dom around.”

Another thrust.

“So the Dom had to discipline the Baby Dom. First he got on top of the Baby Dom & bit him. He had to show the Baby Dom who was in charge.”

Another thrust. Kookie moaned.

“Then he made the Baby Dom roll over & confess to what he’d done. The Dom spanked him for it. The Dom didn’t hold back. He gave the Baby Dom a good spanking,”

Another thrust.

“Then what?” Kookie groaned.

“Then the Dom took a belt, but he didn’t put it on the Baby Dom. Instead he thrust into the Baby Dom,”

Another thrust.

“And pounded him. He told the Baby Dom to make noise. He needed everyone to hear that the Baby Dom was being punished for being bad,”

Kookie ground his ass against Hobi’s crotch & moaned.

“Fuck Hobi. Keep going,”

“When the Dom felt the Baby Dom getting close, he took the belt & put it around the Baby Dom’s neck,” Hobi flexed his arms a little to illustrate the point. “Then he made the Baby Dom wait.”

He listened to Kookie pant & gasp. He was sweating against Hobi’s body. Hobi’s legs were close to giving out.

“He told the Baby Dom - ‘you can come now’,” Hobi thrust into him one more time. Kookie came. Hobi was only holding him up by his neck. Kookie bent at the waist, forcing himself further back onto Hobi’s cock. Hobi let go & Kookie fell forward back onto the bed.

“Finish,” Kookie breathed.

“Sure,” Hobi kept thrusting into Kookie. Kookie grunted & moaned as Hobi got closer. Hobi clawed at Kookie’s arms as he came. His legs were almost too tired to support his weight as he came.

“Well?” Kookie said after Hobi rolled off him.

“You’re heavy,” Hobi breathed.

“Gee thanks,”

“It’s all those muscles,” Hobi grinned.

“You’re a pretty good storyteller, too,” Kookie said.

“Thank you,”

Kookie rolled over & snuggled up against Hobi.

“I had no idea you were such a cuddler,” Hobi smiled.

“I love cuddles,” Kookie said.

“Wanna know a secret?”

“Sure,”

“So do I,” Hobi gave him a little squeeze. Kookie smiled up at him.

“I love you, Hobi,”

“Love you too, Kook. You too,” Hobi rested his chin on the top of Kookie’s head & they went back to sleep.

**1:30pm**

“How do you think they’re doing?” Tae asked Jimin.

“No idea. Hobi was pretty torn about how he felt about Kookie,” Jimin replied.

“Kookie seemed reasonably certain he loved Hobi,” Tae said. “I don’t think he liked that he felt that way, though.”

“I wasn’t particularly thrilled when I realized I was falling in love with you,” Jimin replied.

“I wasn’t either honestly. I didn’t want that complication. Oh well,” Tae said. Jimin laughed a little.

“And look at us now,”

“Look at us now,” Tae kissed him.

“I just want them to be happy. I’m not picky about the outcome,” Jimin said.

“Me too. Though I’m not sure how I’ll feel if I look them in the face & they’ve accepted that they do love each other,” Tae replied.

“Probably the same way they felt when we accepted that we loved each other,” Jimin told him. “Like shit.”

“Karma?”

“Maybe,”

“I guess I got used to Kookie swearing that I was the only one he’d ever love & then this happens,” Tae sighed.

“Hobi did the same thing. He cried when he thought he might love Kookie. He thought he was betraying me,” Jimin replied.

“Nothing can be simple around here, can it?”

“No, no it can’t,” Jimin shook his head.

**3:44pm**

Kookie felt something tickling his chin & swatted at it.

“Go away,” he mumbled.

“Do you want to sleep through the last few hours we have?” he heard Hobi’s voice.

“I guess not,” he rolled over & opened his eyes. Hobi was lying on his stomach looking down at him. “Did you want something or did you just want to wake me up?”

“I always want sex, but there’s also food & alcohol to consider,” Hobi said.

“Are you going to get me drunk again?”

“You say that like I got you drunk the first time,”

“Fair,”

“Get up & no clothing allowed,” Hobi told him.

“Why not?”

“Because if I decide I want to fuck you on the living room floor then I don’t have to get your pants off first,” Hobi kissed him.

“Oh really?”

“Yes really,”

“Come here you horny bitch,” Kookie grabbed Hobi & pulled him on top of him. He kissed him intensely as he wrapped his fingers in Hobi’s hair. Hobi thrust his hips into Kookie’s.

“Fuck you’re so hot,” Hobi breathed as he ran his hands up Kookie’s arms to his shoulders.

“Thank you,” Kookie replied as he held onto Hobi’s waist. Kookie slowly licked across Hobi’s bottom lip. “What do you want to do to me?”

“What do you want me to do to you?”

“It’s your turn to think of something. I did last time,” Kookie replied.

“Then I think I’ll blow you. We’ll play your favorite game,” Hobi smiled.

“I’m tired. I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold still,” Kookie told him.

“Then in that case, you’ll need to let me know how I’m doing,” Hobi kissed him. “Squirm. Moan. Say my name. All of it.”

“Now that I can do,” Kookie grinned.

“You better,”

Kookie pushed himself up into a sitting position. Hobi kissed his way down to right above Kookie’s cock. He idly drew circles around the base with his finger. Kookie started to squirm. Hobi grinned.

“What are you waiting for?” Kookie asked.

“I’m thinking,” Hobi replied. “About what I want to do.” He flicked the tip with his tongue. Kookie jumped. Hobi went back to drawing circles.

“I could do this…” Hobi licked up the underside. Kookie squirmed.

“Or I could do this,” he closed his lips over the tip & dragged his tongue across it. Kookie grunted.

“Maybe this,” Hobi took all of Kookie in his mouth & brushed his fingertips down Kookie’s thighs. Kookie moaned. Hobi slowly pulled his head back.

“What about this?” he rolled his tongue around the bump under the head & licked with the center of his tongue.

“Fuck,” Kookie grabbed Hobi’s hair.

“Looks like we found a winner,” Hobi grinned. He closed his mouth & focused on licking the same spot. Kookie writhed & cussed under him. Hobi didn’t bother to hold him down. Kookie tightened his grip on Hobi’s hair & pushed his head down. Hobi curled his lips over his teeth & lightly bit him. Kookie came hard. Harder than Hobi had seen in a while. He held Hobi’s head down as he pounded into his mouth & yanked at his hair. His chest was heaving & he hadn’t even screamed. When he finally finished, he let go of Hobi’s hair & collapsed against the wall. Hobi sat up & rubbed his head.

“Looks like teasing you is the way to go,” he said.

“If I didn’t love you before, I love you now,” Kookie rolled his head over to look at him.

“Love you too, Kook. You too,”

“Why do you repeat yourself?” Kookie asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You say ‘you too’ again after you say ‘I love you, too’,” he said.

“I guess if I drop dead in the next second, the last thing you heard me say was that I love you. Again,” Hobi replied.

“Do you do that with Jimin?”

“No. The last thing he’d ever hear me say is his name. Well, Jiminie, but that’s splitting hairs,” he said.

“Why not?”

Hobi pulled himself up next to Kookie & put him under his arm.

“Because the last memory you would need of me is that I love you. The last memory he would need of me is the name I gave him the moment after I kissed him the first time & I became his forever. I

told you, not all relationships are created equal,”

Kookie thought about what he said.

“The last thing Tae would ever hear me say is ‘baby’. That seems silly,” Kookie rested his hand on Hobi’s stomach.

“But it means something to you,” Hobi said.

“Yeah,”

“Then it’s not silly,” he put his hand over Kookie’s. He kissed the side of Kookie’s head. “Something that means something to you is never silly.”

“Okay,”

“Don’t make me beat it into you. You know I will,”

“No I get it,” Kookie laughed a little.

“Good. Now let’s get something to eat & drink Jac’s wine before we have to leave,”

“Sounds good,” Kookie replied. Hobi got off the bed & pulled Kookie up. He kissed him gently when he stood up. Kookie let himself fall into the kiss. He felt his heart start to race. Hobi rested a hand on Kookie’s cheek.

“I love you, Kook,” he whispered.

“Love you too, Hobi. You too,”

Hobi simply smiled at him before taking his hand & leading him back down the hall.

**9:45pm**

Tae looked up when he heard the door slam. Hobi & Kookie came up the stairs.

“Success?” Jac asked from her spot on the couch.

“Yeah, I think so,” Kookie said. Hobi half shrugged half nodded. Tae noticed they were holding hands.

His heart hit stomach. Karma, truly was, a bitch.

**April 9, 2019**   
**7:43pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

“Hey, you got a sec?” Tae tapped on Jac & Yoongi’s door.

“Lemme go get Jac,” Yoongi put down his notebook & went to get up.

“No, I want to talk to you,” Tae said.

“Oh. I don’t know how much I can help you with anything,” he said.

“I don’t need help. I just need someone to listen,” Tae told him. Yoongi pulled out what was left of his birthday Scotch & 2 glasses.

“Now that I can do,” he said, pouring them drinks. He handed one over to Tae & he drank almost all of it in one gulp.

“I’m all ears,”

“I know I told Kookie it was fine whatever happened between him & Hobi. I mean, I’m in love with Jimin. He’s my boyfriend. I guess. Maybe? The whole time we’ve been together Kookie has sworn he’d never love anyone but me. Then when I saw them come home & they were holding hands, I knew. I knew they’d taken the same path Jimin & I had. I shouldn’t be angry. I shouldn’t be hurt. I am, though. I’m angry. I’m hurt. I feel like I watched the only person I ever loved walk out on me. I know that’s wrong. I know I should just be okay with it. He had to deal with me & Jimin. Maybe this is punishment. Maybe this is karma. I don’t even know anymore. All I know is I hurt & I don’t know how to make it stop,” Tae looked worn down. He’d obviously been fighting with himself over this for days.

“Have you tried telling Kookie any of this?” Yoongi asked.

“What good would it do? He won’t stop loving Hobi. I won’t stop loving Jimin,” Tae replied.

“But at least he’d know how you feel,” Yoongi shrugged. Tae didn’t know what to say.

“What if it starts a fight?”

“Have make up sex later,”

Tae blinked at him.

“What?” Yoongi asked.

“That’s just an...odd take on things,” he said.

“You didn’t want advice. That’s my opinion on the subject,” Yoongi shrugged.

“Is that what you’d do?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t want to start a fight, but I’d want her to know how I felt. Otherwise it ends up turning into a blowup over the smallest thing because you’ve been ignoring what’s really upsetting you,” he said. “I hardly think you want to get into a fight over a house plant when you’re really mad that he’s in love with someone else.”

“Did that happen to you?”

“No, but I’ve watched Hobi & Jimin enough to see it happen,” he replied.

“So I should tell him even though there’s nothing we can do about it,”

“Pretty much,”

“If you hear yelling, it’s your fault,” Tae got up.

“And when I hear the sonorous sounds of Kookie’s orgasm, I’ll know that’s also my fault,” Yoongi took a drink.

“Thanks Yoon,” he said.

“Good luck,”

**9:01pm**

Tae steeled himself for a fight. This was absolutely where this was going to go. It couldn’t go any other way. Kookie was sitting on the bed playing on his phone.

“Can I talk to you about something? Well, more like tell you something,” Tae said as he got in bed.

“Sure,” Kookie put his phone down.

“I know I said that I was fine with whatever happened between you & Hobi. I know I should be okay with it. You have to deal with me & Jimin. When I saw you walk in holding hands with him it hurt me. I know I shouldn’t have been hurt, but I was. I am. I thought you’d come back & realize that you were into each other, but not that you loved each other. I guess after hearing you say that you’d only ever love me for so long stuck with me. You came back in love with someone else & I felt like you didn’t love me as much. I dunno. I know I can’t do anything about it & I know it’s not fair. I can’t have Jimin & say that you can’t care about Hobi. I guess I just needed you to know that it hurt. That I hurt,” Tae told him. Kookie looked at him for a painfully long amount of time. Then he leaned over & kissed him.

“I don’t love you any less, baby. I’m sorry that you’re hurting,” he said.

_What? He’s supposed to yell. He’s supposed to tell me that I’m being selfish. This isn’t supposed to turn out like this._ Tae was stunned.

“What?” was all Tae could manage.

“I know I said I’d only ever love you. That was true for a long time. It was true for years. I guess when Hobi treated me like a partner & not a Sub is when things changed. I liked that feeling. I felt like you didn’t want me anymore & he did. He felt the same way about Jimin. We needed each other. I’m not trying to blame you. It’s just the truth,” Kookie told him.

“I’m sorry. I had no idea you felt that way,”

“Hobi told me that you’d been working with him to be better with me. You didn’t have to do that,”

“I know. I wanted to. I want to give you what you want when he can’t,” Tae replied.

“Thank you. I can’t tell you how much that means to me,” Kookie kissed him again. “You’ll always be the one I come home to. You’ll always be my first.”

“I’ve loved you since you still had your baby fat. Nothing can take that away,” Tae smiled.

“Don’t remind me,” Kookie smiled a little.

“I don’t care what you say. You were adorable,” Tae kissed him.

“I’ve loved you since...you look exactly the same,” Kookie said.

“I’m a little taller,” Tae replied.

“Okay, since you were short,”

“Sure,” Tae laughed.

“Loving Hobi doesn’t change how much I love you, Tae,” Kookie pulled Tae into his side.

“Loving Jimin doesn’t change how much I love you either,” he said. He put his hand on Kookie’s stomach. “Though it’s no fun having to share these again.”

“You get priority,” Kookie kissed him & slid Tae’s hand under his shirt. Tae giggled & rubbed his hand across Kookie’s abs.

“Why thank you,”

“And you already know what you without your shirt does to me,” Kookie put his hand under Tae’s shirt.

“What does it do?” Tae asked him through the kiss. Kookie pulled off Tae’s shirt.

“It makes me absolutely crazy. It makes me want you so much that I can’t even think. I just want my hands on you,” he pulled Tae over so he was sitting on top of him. “I want my hands all over you.” He pulled his head down in a kiss & ran his hand down Tae’s back. Tae braced his hands against the wall as he kissed Kookie back. He uncrossed his legs & stretched out on top of him. Kookie’s hands were warm & smooth across his back. They moved when he moved. Kookie finally rested his hands on Tae’s lower back. Tae moved his hands off the wall to either side of Kookie’s head.

“Well?” Tae asked.

“Wanna show me what Hobi has been teaching you?”

“I might not be a very good Dom,” Tae said. Kookie kissed him.

“Give it a try. I won’t judge,”

“I mean the Baby Dom this is his thing & I’m not…” he started.

“Baby, it’s okay. You know the safe word as well as I do. Just try,”

“Okay,” Tae lowered himself so his mouth was right next to Kookie’s ear. “You still have your shirt on.”

“I do,”

“Take it off,” Tae sat up so Kookie could pull off his shirt. Tae rubbed his hand up Kookie’s bare chest. “So perfect. So unfair.”

“Why unfair?” Kookie asked.

“That you have to cover it up most of the time,” Tae kissed one of Kookie’s shoulders. “Though I suppose that would mean it isn’t just for me anymore.”

“It wouldn’t,”

“I’m selfish. I don’t like to share,” Tae leaned forward & his bare chest touched Kookie’s. All the air went out of Kookie’s lungs.

“Fuck,” he breathed.

“I haven’t even gotten your pants off yet,” Tae smiled.

“I know,” Kookie kissed him hard. He wrapped his fingers in Tae’s hair as he tried to keep their chests touching. Tae moved himself higher up in Kookie’s lap & put his arms around his shoulders. Kookie was breathing like he was running up a mountain.

“I fucking love you,”

“I love you, too,” Tae grinned.

“Fuck me. I don’t care how. Just fuck me,”

“Pants off,” Tae got off Kookie’s lap. He practically made his pants disappear. Tae sat back against the wall. “Sit on my cock.”

“Anything you want,” Kookie lowered himself onto Tae’s dick. He almost immediately started grinding against Tae’s lap. He wrapped his arms around Tae’s shoulders & rested his chin on Tae’s shoulder. Tae put his arms under Kookie’s arms to support him. Kookie breathed hot & hard onto the side of Tae’s face. Tae thrust up into him. Kookie moaned.

“Do it again,” Tae thrust again.

“Fuck baby,” Kookie breathed into his neck. He ground harder on Tae’s cock. “I can’t remember the last time I wanted you so bad.” Tae thrust up into him again. Kookie let out a combination of a squeak & scream.

“How bad do you want to come?” Tae whispered. Kookie looked over at him & simply panted. “That bad, huh?” Kookie nodded. Tae tightened his grip under Kookie’s shoulders.

“Come for me, baby,”

Kookie threw his head back & screamed as he came. Tae reached up & put his hand over Kookie’s mouth to muffle the sound but it was too late. They’d heard him in North Korea. Probably Siberia. Tae was praying he didn’t lose a finger as Kookie bucked & thrust against him. When he finished, he collapsed forward onto Tae’s shoulder. Tae scratched his head.

“I love you too, baby,”

**9:43pm**

Jac & Yoongi looked at each other when they heard Kookie coming.

“Sorry, my fault,” Yoongi said.

“I do not want to know,” Jac held up her hands. Yoongi laughed & went back to his notebook.

**April 11, 2019**   
**5:37pm**   
**New York City, New York**

“Welcome back to my part of the world, gentleman,” Jac said as they got off the plane at JFK. The Grammys were Sunday night & they’d flown over for all the pre-show interviews & rehearsal. Jimin had been upgraded from crutches to a walking boot. He still wasn’t cleared to put weight on his ankle without any kind of support much less dance. It had only been a little over 5 weeks since he injured it. They’d be performing without him. Jimin had argued with the doctor for a good half an hour before Jac literally slapped him upside the head & told him to stop.

They’d come in a private gate so they wouldn’t be ambushed by fans & paparazzi. Namjoon & Yoongi led the way with Jin behind them. Kookie & Tae were already trying not to hold hands. Hobi would poke the one who tried to reach for the other one. Jac brought up the rear with Jimin.

“I don’t know why I even came,” he sighed.

“Because you’re part of the group,” Jac said.

“I can’t perform,”

“Neither can I,”

“You’re not supposed to,”

“You heard Joon. I’m the 8th Bangtan Boy. We’ll ignore the fact that I’m a girl,” she grinned.

“Stop,” he said.

“Seriously, you’re part of the group & if you win then your skinny ass better be on that stage accepting that award with your brothers & your husband. I’ll drag you up there if I have to,” she told him.

“We won’t win,” he said.

“You’re just the bluebird of fucking happiness right now,” she rolled her eyes. Jimin stopped to look at her. He opened his mouth to say something then grabbed her in a hug & started to cry.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’ll be okay,” she hugged him back.

“No it won’t,” he cried. “I can’t perform at the biggest thing we’ve ever been nominated for because of some stupid freak accident. My foot hurts. I’m tired. I’m afraid we won’t win. I’m afraid we will win.”

“Okay, let’s get you to the hotel & settled. We’re all tired,” she took him around the waist & walked him out of the airport. The rest of them were waiting.

“Jiminie, what’s wrong?” Hobi asked. Jac passed him off to Hobi.

“I think he’s just tired & a little sore. Nothing a nap & some pain meds can’t fix, right?” she smiled at him. Jimin nodded. “There you go.”

As she got settled in the van for the ride to the airport, Jac thought back to what Jimin said. _I’m afraid we will win._

Then what?

**7:09pm**

Hobi helped Jimin into bed.

“Here we go. We don’t have to go back out again tonight. We can get room service. We can go to sleep early. Whatever my Jiminie wants,” Hobi adjusted the pillows under his left foot.

“I want my stupid foot to be better,” he sighed. Hobi got into bed next to him.

“I know. At least you’re here. I wouldn’t have known what to do with myself if we left you behind,” he kissed Jimin’s ear.

“You’d have to share a room with Kookie & Tae,” Jimin said.

“Then I’m definitely glad you’re here,” Hobi laughed. He looked at Jimin & smiled.

“What?”

“I’m so lucky to have you. I don’t know what I did to deserve you,”

“You were yourself,” Jimin replied. “For better or worse.”

“Well thank you. Do you want some dinner?”

“Sure,”

“Let’s see if I was actually paying attention when Jac was going through the menu,” Hobi laughed a little.

“You know what I want,” Jimin said.

“Hours of hot sex isn’t on the menu,” Hobi teased as he kissed him.

“Then I’ll have steak,” Jimin kissed him back.

“Sounds good,” Hobi went to order dinner & Jimin’s phone went off. It was Tae.

_Want some company?_  
Jimin: _Thanks, but I think it’ll just be me & Hobi tonight_.  
Tae: _Okay._  
Jimin: _Sorry. Really tired & need hubby time._  
Tae: _Understand. Feel better._  
Jimin: _Thanks. You & Kookie have a good night._  
Tae: _You too._  
Jimin: _*heart emoji*_  
Tae: _*heart emoji*_

Jimin put his phone back on the side table. He felt bad turning down Tae, but he only wanted Hobi tonight. He was the only one who could make him feel better when he felt this bad. Hobi knew how to make him smile when it was the last thing he wanted to do. Hobi could lull him to sleep when he felt like sleep was impossible. He loved Tae, but Tae wasn’t Hobi. Tae wasn’t his husband. Tae couldn’t fix his problems just by smiling at him.

“I think I ordered the right thing,” Hobi came back in the bedroom. “I guess we’ll find out.”

“I guess we will,” Jimin replied. He held out his arms. Hobi got into bed next to him. Jimin nestled into Hobi’s shoulder.

“How’s my Jiminie?”

“Tired & my foot hurts,” he hugged Hobi’s waist. Their internal clocks were telling them it was around 8am on Friday morning.

“We’ll have dinner & then go to bed. How about that?” Hobi suggested.

“Hobi- _hyung_ cuddles?”

“You can always have those,” Hobi smiled & kissed him. “You know the last time we were here we got married. It was a different hotel, though.”

“I guess we did,” Jimin agreed. “Four months on Saturday.”

“It feels like it’s been forever, but at the same time it happened yesterday,”

“In a good way,” Jimin said.

“Absolutely,” Hobi kissed him. They heard a knock on the door. “That must be dinner.”

**7:20pm**

Tae put down his phone. Jimin had turned him down. That was the first time Jimin had ever turned him down that he could remember. Hobi was his husband. Tae had said they needed to spend more time with their partners & less with each other. It still stung, though. Then what would Hobi have done? Come in here with Kookie? They’d spent one night together since they got back last week. Kookie hadn’t given Tae any details & Tae hadn’t asked.

“You okay?” Kookie asked.

“Yeah. I’m fine,” Tae said. “Just jet lagged.”

“Do you want to see if Jac will take us to dinner? I know Hobi & Jimin are in for the night,” Kookie said.

“I’m not really hungry. I might just have a shower & go to sleep,”

“What is it?”

“What?”

“Something is bugging you,”

“It’s nothing,” Tae told him.

“Obviously not if it’s bothering you,” Kookie sat next to him on the bed.

“I asked Jimin if he wanted company & he said he only wanted to spend time with Hobi. It hurt my feelings,”

“I’m sorry, baby. You’ve got me, though,” he put his hand on Tae’s leg.

“I do,” he smiled. _Except it’s like having to order your second favorite flavor of ice cream because they’re out of your first._

“Maybe a bath?” Kookie suggested.

“Sure,” Tae put his hand on top of Kookie’s.

“Did it upset you that much?” Kookie asked.

“What? No, like I said, I’m tired,” Tae replied a little too quickly. Kookie gave him a look.

“Okay, maybe I was hoping Jimin & I could do something tonight. When I saw he was upset, I thought I could make him feel better,” Tae told him.

“Were you expecting Hobi to just leave?”

“I hadn’t really thought that far ahead,” Tae admitted.

“Hobi is his husband. You can’t really argue if he wants to spend time with him over you,” Kookie said. Tae dropped his head.

“I know,”

“We don’t have to do anything. You can have a shower & go sleep,” his hand was still on Tae’s thigh.

“What would you do?”

Kookie shrugged.

“See what Jac & Yoongi are up to? Dick around on my phone? I dunno,”

Tae thought for a moment.

“I know what will make me feel better,”

“What?”

He took Kookie’s hand & put it behind his head. He put his other hand on Kookie’s thigh & leaned in to kiss him. Kookie put his free hand on Tae’s waist & pulled him closer. _Maybe that second flavor of ice cream isn’t so bad after all,_ he thought as he licked across Kookie’s bottom lip. Kookie crept his fingers under Tae’s shirt as he nipped at his lip.

“You’re so transparent,” Tae said, kissing under Kookie’s chin.

“Am I?”

“What's it worth to you for me to take my shirt off?” he leaned back & grinned at Kookie.

“What does that mean?”

“Maybe I won’t just let you pull it off me,” Tae pulled the hem up revealing a little of his stomach. Kookie grunted.

“What did you want?” Kookie felt himself getting harder by the second.

“I never get to watch you squirm. Since I know how much you love seeing me topless…” Tae brushed his hand up his chest again, showing more of his stomach this time.

“Are you going to make me sit here & wait for you to take your shirt off?”

“I mean, you could try to get it off me, but you might rip it. I wiggle,” Tae leaned over & pressed his lips against Kookie’s ear.

“I wouldn’t want to rip it,” Kookie said.

“No,” Tae kissed just below his ear. “You wouldn’t.” Tae leaned back & made an exaggerated stretch. It exposed about an inch of his stomach. He propped himself up on his hands & stared at Kookie. Kookie adjusted himself. Tae grinned. He lightly scratched at his ribs showing off most of his abs.

“Stop,” Kookie moaned.

“Stop what? I had an itch,” Tae smiled innocently.

“Sure you did,”

“I think it still itches,” Tae switched hands & scratched the other side. Kookie couldn’t look away from Tae’s abs.

“Just fucking take it off already,”

“Nope,” Tae kissed him. “Not when I’m getting you this wound up.”

“I hate you,” Kookie said.

“No, you don’t,” Tae pulled at the neck of his shirt a little before kissing Kookie again. Tae ran his hand over Kookie’s crotch. “Definitely all wound up.”

“My cock feels like it’s going to explode,” Kookie said.

“In that case,” Tae pulled off his shirt. Kookie shoved Tae onto his back & pinned him to the bed. He kissed him violently as he ran his hands over Tae’s torso.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he breathed.

“Thank you,” Tae said as he unbuttoned & unzipped Kookie’s jeans. He heard Kookie breathe a sigh of relief. “Better?”

“Much,” Kookie sat up & yanked off his own shirt. Tae reached up & grabbed Kookie’s cock. He gasped in surprise.

“Hi,” Tae grinned.

“Hi,” Kookie grunted.

“How about my specialty since I teased you so much earlier?”

“Yes please,” Kookie managed to choke out.

“On your back,” Tae said. Kookie rolled off of him & onto his back. “You might want to take your pants off unless you’re okay with me getting them messy.”

“Right,” Kookie shimmied out of his jeans & leaned back again.

“Enjoy yourself, baby,” Tae kissed him & started the ripple motion up Kookie’s shaft. Kookie shifted & moaned. Tae stopped & rubbed the bump with his index finger.

“Shit,” he gasped. Tae flicked it a few more times. He kissed Kookie deeply as he rippled his fingers up & down his dick. Kookie squirmed & grunted under him. Tae lightly kissed him as he took the tip between his index & middle fingers.

“Oh fuck,” Kookie panted. Tae brushed the top with his index finger. “Goddammit, Tae.”

“What?” He switched to brushing the underside with his middle finger.

“I’m gonna come in like 2 seconds,” he unconsciously thrust his cock up toward Tae’s fingers. Tae wrapped his whole hand around Kookie’s cock. He kissed him.

“You can hold out a little longer, can’t you baby?” he grinned as he squeezed him.

Kookie whimpered.

“Just a little longer?” Tae kissed him again & moved his hand about an inch up his shaft. Kookie put his hand on the back of Tae’s head & kissed him back hungrily. Tae lightly squeezed again.

“Jesus Christ, Tae,” he could barely catch his breath. Tae had him dangling on the edge of coming. It was torture, but it was also hot as fuck. Tae knew what he was doing & he was good at it.

“Ask me,” Tae whispered.

“What?”

“Ask for permission,”

“Can I please come now?”

“You may,” Tae squeezed him one last time & Kookie exploded. He violently thrust his cock into Tae’s hand. He grabbed the back of Tae’s neck & pulled him down toward his face. He cussed & screamed Tae’s name. Tae kept stroking him while he was coming. Kookie finished in a panting, sweaty mess. Tae held out his hand & Kookie licked his fingers. It was a habit he’d picked up from Hobi.

“Fuck, that was amazing,” Kookie breathed.

“I’m glad,” Tae smiled down at him.

“I’ll fuck you good later,”

“Only if you want to,”

“Always,”

**7:21pm**

“Don’t rip it,” Jin laughed as Namjoon pulled off his shirt.

“I won’t if you hold still,” Namjoon kissed his nose.

“You don’t like it when I hold still,” Jin grinned.

“Guilty,” he grinned. He took off his pants & got on top of Jin. “I did not appreciate you teasing me for 14 hours.”

“It wasn’t 14 hours. I was asleep for at least 3 of them,” Jin kissed him.

“The vast majority of an international flight then,”

“It’s not my fault that my hand kept falling in your lap. Planes bounce,”

“Of course they do,” Namjoon kissed Jin’s neck.

“They do,” Jin ran his hand down Namjoon’s back. He kissed him slowly as Namjoon ran his hand up Jin’s thigh.

“I love hotels,” Namjoon said.

“Why’s that?”

“The kids leave us alone,” he grinned. Jin laughed.

“So what do you feel like, my love?”

“You teased me the whole way here so I think it’s only fair that I tease you now,” Namjoon replied.

“Oh really?”

“All part of a successful marriage,” he said as he ran his hand back up to Jin’s hip. He brushed his fingers just inside Jin’s hip bone. He squirmed under him. Namjoon smiled.

“Fine. Do your worst,”

“Careful with that, dear. You forget I was a rapper with a flat top,” he kissed him.

“You’re still a rapper,” Jin said.

“I am,” Namjoon agreed as he trailed his finger up Jin’s side. Jin giggled & swatted at his hand. “You’re almost as ticklish as Jimin.”

“You say that like it’s a character flaw,”

“Nope. Just makes my job easier,” Namjoon kissed his collarbone. He blew out a breath where he’d just kissed. Jin shivered. Namjoon smiled. He kissed the other collarbone & did the same thing.

“Stop it. That’s cold,” Jin said.

“If you want cold, I can go get some ice,” Namjoon said.

“I’m good,”

“I thought so,” he slid his hand between them & toward Jin’s crotch. “Interested in something?”

“Your cock in me?”

“I think I can handle that,”

“You better,” Jin kissed him & pushed his crotch into Namjoon’s hand at the same time.

“Yes dear,” Namjoon grinned.

“Exactly. Respect your elders,”

“I’m pretty sure what I’m about to do to you doesn’t qualify as respect,” he kissed his neck.

“Then I’ll just discipline you for it later,” Jin ran a finger down Namjoon’s spine.

“You’re feisty,”

“Long plane ride,”

“Uh huh,” Namjoon ran his hand down Jin’s side as he kissed his shoulder.

“Stop talking & put your dick in me,” Jin put his hands on Namjoon’s ass.

“Feisty & demanding,”

“Long plane ride,”

“We gonna use that desk?”

 

Jin lied down on the desk after he threw the sheet over it. Namjoon entered him slowly.

“That’s disrespectful?” Jin looked up at him.

“I was testing the height,”

“Sure you were,”

“Fine. Hold on,” Namjoon put his hands on either side of Jin’s shoulders. He started pounding Jin. Jin started giggling & grabbed onto Namjoon’s forearms.

“That’s it?”

“You are horny,” Namjoon said. He stopped, bent his knees, & thrust into Jin as hard as he could. “Better?”

“Yes much,” Jin grunted. Namjoon continued the thrusting intervals & Jin kept grunting & moaning. He let go of Namjoon’s arms & put his arms over his head. Namjoon reached down & grasped his husband’s cock.

“Oh fuck,” Jin groaned.

“Now I’m going to finish you honey,” he said.

“Please do,”

Namjoon dipped his face closer to Jin’s as he squeezed him.

“I expect you to scream for me,”

“Make me want to,” Jin smiled.

“I will,” Namjoon alternated thrusting & stroking Jin’s dick. Jin grunted & moaned. He started to squirm & Namjoon braced his hand on Jin’s shoulder. Then he finished him. Jin arched his back & screamed as he came. Namjoon held him in place so he was forced to keep all of his cock in his ass. He watched Jin’s chest heave as he finished.

“Satisfied?”

“Yes, thank you,”

“My turn,” Namjoon kissed him & then started pounding him. It didn’t take long. He felt like he’d been punched in the gut when he came. He pitched all his weight into his arms as he thrust into Jin. He vaguely registered Jin’s hand on his chest. Jin was holding him up when he finished.

“I don’t need to ask if it was a good one,” he grinned. Namjoon shook his head. He pulled out & swayed over to the bed. Jin fell over next to him.

“Sleepy time?”

“Yup,”

**7:55pm**

“I think we might be on our own for dinner,” Jac said as she pulled her shirt back on.

“You reckon?” Yoongi said as he zipped his pants.

“Jimin was in toddler stage, Jin had his hand on Joon’s dick for 10 hours, & you know Tae & Kookie have at minimum fucked each other, but more likely fucked each other & went to bed,” she said.

“You know what that means,” he said as he stretched back into his sweatshirt.

“What?”

“We can sneak out & go on an actual date & eat food they hate,” he kissed her.

“I love the way you think,” she smiled.

“And maybe love me,”

“Maybe,”

“Use your magic for good & find us an Indian place. I require curry,”

“Especially after all the calories you just burned,” she winked.

“Once dinner goes down, shall we burn more?”

“Sure, but first actual date with food everyone else hates,”

“Can’t wait,” Yoongi kissed her. Kissing her would never get old. Ever.

**April 13, 2019**   
**10:48pm**   
**New York City, New York**

“So, if you thought the dirty tweets were bad I have succeeded in finding something worse,” Jac said as they ate a late dinner in Jin & Namjoon’s room.

“There’s something worse?!” Jimin squeaked.

“Dirty Would You Rather,” she said.

“Would you what?” Tae asked.

“You are given 2 options & you have to pick one. For example,” she fiddled with her phone. “Would you rather lick chocolate off Jungkook’s dick or have Hoseok lick whipped cream off of your inner thighs?” Kookie & Hobi blushed furiously & the rest of them burst out into a combination of laughter & disgust.

“Don’t worry. You all get your moment in the spotlight. There are a million of these things,” she grinned.

“And where did you find this?” Namjoon asked.

“YouTube,” she replied. “Next up. Would you rather have shower sex with Jimin or pool sex with Yoongi?”

“Do hand jobs count?” Hobi asked.

“TMI,” Jin said.

“We are NOT having sex in a pool,” Yoongi said.

“I’ll cross that one off the list then,” Jac said. “Here’s a good one. Would you rather dominate Taehyung,”

The maknae line & Hobi nodded.

“Or be dominated by Namjoon,”

“WHAT?!”

Jac laughed hysterically.

“Well Jin, is there something you want to tell us about Joon?”

“Nope,” Jin smiled. They all laughed.

“Okay, I didn’t even know this was a thing. Would you rather ride Hoseok’s thigh until you come or Jungkook’s. Y’all get paired up a lot,” she said.

“My thigh?” Kookie looked at his legs.

“I guess it’s a thing,”

“Find one for me,” Jin said.

“Would you rather have kitchen sex with Jin or elevator sex with Yoongi,”

“I guess we could’ve had sex in the elevator,” Tae said to Jac.

“Oh now you tell me,” she grinned. “Would you rather get gangbanged by the maknae line or the hyung line?”

“Well technically…” Hobi started.

“NO!”

Hobi cackled.

“Would you rather hear Jimin whimper or Yoongi moan,”

“I think that’s a little personal…” Jimin started.

“I know what I’d pick,” Hobi said.

“Me too,” Jac said. “It’s Yoongi moaning, right?”

“Not funny,” he glared at them. They both laughed.

“These really are terrible,” Jin said.

“But they are kind of funny,” Tae conceded.

“Would you rather have sex with Hoseok once & get pregnant or have sex multiple times with Taehyung using a condom?”

“We always use a condom!” Kookie protested.

“You also can’t get pregnant,” Hobi pointed out.

“Thank god,” Yoongi added.

“Here’s something I never understood,” Jac said as she adjusted her legs in Yoongi’s lap. “Flavored condoms. It’s not like my vag or your asses can taste it.”

“Blow jobs?” Tae suggested.

“Way to take the fun out of it,” Namjoon said. They all stared at him. He simply took a sip of his beer & smiled.

“Flavored lube?” Hobi said.

“That’s a thing?” Kookie asked.

“Why use that when you have spit?” Jac said.

“Some of us need lube for other things, missy,” Hobi said.

“Please refer back to my your ass doesn’t have taste buds comment,” she said.

“I am not hearing this,” Jimin buried his head in Hobi’s shoulder & covered his ears.

“It’s not like you’re exactly chaste & virginal,” Jin poked him with his foot. “I’ve heard you plenty of times.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to discuss it with seven other people. Just like I don’t want to walk around without my shirt unless I have to,” Jimin glared at him.

“Some people apparently enjoy sticking their tongues in other people’s asses,” Yoongi said.

“That’s just unsanitary. I can ditch a condom. I can’t wash my tongue,” Hobi wrinkled his nose.

“You could brush your teeth,” Tae said.

“And throw away the toothbrush every time,”

“Then I guess we’d know every time you ate Jimin’s ass. There’d be a toothbrush in the trash,” Yoongi said.

“STOP!” Jimin buried himself even further into Hobi’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, Jiminie. I’m not adding that to our sex life,” Hobi pet him.

“Thank you for making all of us feel better,” Jin said.

“I’ve seen bacon flavored lube. Maybe I should get some of that for you two. Just in case the taste of dick gets to be a bit much,” Jac winked at Namjoon.

“What’s your favorite flavor & I’ll be happy to return the favor,” Namjoon replied.

“NO!” “Pineapple,” Yoongi & Jac said in unison.

“Why are we even having this discussion?” Jimin asked.

“Because it’s funny?” Jac said.

“Given the circumstances, it’s pretty damn hilarious,” Hobi said. “Except maybe the ass eating part.”

“No one is forcing you to do it & I’m pretty sure no one is interested,” Yoongi looked at Tae & Kookie. They vigorously shook their heads.

“We’re good,” Tae said.

“Yup,” Kookie agreed.

“See?”

“You know if someone told me a year ago that I’d be sitting around with a bunch of KPop idols discussing the downfalls of rimming, I would’ve demanded some of what they were smoking because that shit was potent,” Jac said.

“And yet here you are,” Jin said.

“Indeed here I am,”

“And on that note, Mom & Dad are tired so you can all scurry off to bed now,” Jin stretched as he stood up.

“Yes Mom,” they said. They gave their goodnight hugs & filtered out. Namjoon & Jin settled back onto the couch in front of the TV. Namjoon stretched out his legs & put his arm around Jin’s shoulders.

Jin rested his head on Namjoon’s shoulder.

“So I guess we shouldn’t tell them that we tried it a couple times then, eh?” Jin looked up at Namjoon.

“Guess not,” Namjoon clinked his beer bottle against Jin’s & they turned on the TV.

**April 14, 2019**   
**5pm**   
**New York City, New York**

“Now all of you be good & smile pretty & have fun,” Jac told the boys as she kissed them on the cheeks before she sent them down to the limo.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t ride with us,” Kookie whined.

“Because they’ll be photographing you getting out & if I get out with you then the whole world will have a collective aneurysm. I’ll still be there. I just have to go with the rest of the peasants,” she told him as she straightened his tie & brushed the shoulders of his suit jacket. She stepped back & surveyed them.

“You look so good. It only took me almost 7 months,”

They were all in black suits. Some of them had jackets in different fabric like brocade (Jin) or sequins (Hobi). They all had different color ties. Jac still hadn’t changed yet, but the help wasn’t supposed to get there until an hour later.

“You must approve,” Namjoon said.

“Why?” she asked.

“You’re still smiling,” he replied.

“I’m happy that you won’t look like clowns when you accept your award,”

“You have no idea that we’ll win,” Tae said.

“With these 7 beautiful faces & all your charm? You’ll win,” she pinched his cheek & hugged him. “Off you go. I’ll try to find you & wave when I get there.”

“Be good,” Yoongi kissed her.

“Always,” she grinned. She smiled to herself as they left to get in the limo. Life really was long & weird.

**6:42pm**

Jac had just started wrestling another impractically large dress into a row when one of the crew approached her.

“Julia Candler?” she asked.

“Yes?”

“You’re the translator for BTS?”

“Yes,”

“Can you follow me, please?”

“Uh, sure,” Jac wasn’t sure if she was in trouble or if something had gone wrong with one of the boys & for some reason Namjoon hadn’t been able to help. Her mind was racing with possibilities when they stopped by the third row.

“You’ll be seated here with them. We apologize for mix up with the seating. No one told us until you arrived that they were bringing an additional translator,” she apologized.

“Oh, no problem. They called at the last minute asking if I could come just in case. You never know who’ll win, right?” Jac played it off. Who the hell told them that she was there? Beyond that who the hell on staff liked her enough to help her change seats? At best, they were indifferent. At worst, they hated her. Maybe Mr Bang’s assistant was still scared of her after their confrontation last month & this was his way of placating her? Except he was still in Korea. He had no idea that she made the trip with them. Other than the boys, she could count the number of people who knew she was here on one hand.

_Whatever_ , she thought. _Take it & say thank you._

“Jac!” Tae’s voice made her jump. He pushed his way into the row & hugged her. “How’d you get to sit with us?”

“I took the seat & hoped no one would notice,” she grinned.

“Really?” Namjoon looked at her.

“They got me & told me to sit here. Translators apparently get ringside seats,” she said.

“Huh,” he said.

“For once, I didn’t argue,” she held up her hands.

“I need to sit down for that,” Hobi teased from the other end. The seating order was Jac on the aisle then Tae, Jin, Jimin, Namjoon, Kookie, Yoongi, & Hobi. If they won there was no risk of accidental kissing in the excitement. Though Hobi had threatened to kiss Yoongi. Twice.

“When are you performing?” Jac asked.

“I think before our award is up?” Namjoon said

“So you won’t just be like ‘fuck it’ if you lost,” she said.

“You know we wouldn’t do that,” Tae said.

“I know. I’m teasing you,” she patted his leg.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous,” Jimin said.

“And the show hasn’t even started yet,” Yoongi added.

“Well I’m not going to give you some cheesy ass pep talk, but you did pretty damn good to make it this far. Be proud of yourselves. I know I am,” she leaned over to look at all of them.

“Thanks,”

“Though it would be pretty awesome if you won,”

“Who knows? Maybe we will,” Jin said.

_Then what?_

 

 

After sitting through a litany of awards they didn’t care about then getting up, performing, cleaning themselves up, & sitting back down - it was time. Tae was practically crushing Jac’s hand. None of them were moving. Jac wasn’t even sure any of them were breathing.

“The winner of best pop performance by a duo or group is…”

Worst pause of their entire lives.

“Idol by BTS!”

They stared at each other for a second. It had happened. It had actually happened. They won. They’d won a Grammy.

“Oh my god…” Jac was trying not to cry & failing as Tae picked her up into a hug. Yoongi & Hobi were half hugging half leaning on each other. Kookie looked terrified & hadn’t moved. Jin & Namjoon had helped Jimin stand up. Tae practically carried Jac out of the row as they went up to accept the trophy. She wiped her eyes & tried to pull herself together as they thanked everyone except God & the janitor.

“Julia Candler,” Tae held up the trophy. “This is for you, too.” Jac was able to mouth the words “Thank you” & give a small wave before she started crying again.

No, she hadn’t been there when they had to share a single room. No, she hadn’t been there to listen to the worst of the hate & derision they got. No, she hadn’t been there for a lot of their lives. She’d come in at the prime of their lives. She hadn’t suffered along with them, but they accepted her like she had. It was like she’d always been there.

In every life, through one hiccup of the universe or another, there are people who feel like they’ve always been there even if they’re brand new. Maybe it’s a rift in the space-time continuum or maybe deja vu. You know there was a time without them, a long time, but that time still includes them somehow. Memories are fallible. They fade & change over time. When one of these puzzle pieces falls into your life, even your memories change. They were only missing 1 puzzle piece. Jac had been missing 7. None of them even knew it until a crisp Fall morning in California 6 & a half months ago. Maybe it was because Jac was unapologetically herself right out of the gate. Maybe it was because she rose to Namjoon’s challenge. Maybe it was as simple as she needed a loud, messy, horny group of brothers just as much as they needed a sister who pulled no punches & took no shit. Whatever reason the universe might’ve had for putting them together, they were bound for life. Runny mascara & all.


	18. Mid / Late April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background music (if you’re so inclined):  
> “Serendipity” BTS (Jimin’s solo)  
> “Who Knew” Pink  
> “The Phoenix” Fall Out Boy  
> “Far From Home” Five Finger Death Punch
> 
> This chapter is a little light on the slash. I promise to make it up to y'all.

**April 15, 2019**  
**12:57am**  
**New York City, New York**

“When you said rooftop I thought you meant there was, like, a pool or something,” Kookie said as Jac picked the lock on the door.

“There is. You just don’t access it from here,” she replied.

“If they catch us, we’re going to get kicked out & probably arrested,” Jimin hissed.

“Stop trying to ruin the fun,” Jac said as the lock sprung open. She pushed open the door & they walked out onto the roof of their hotel to a view of Manhattan at night. “Now this is a view from the top.”

“Wow,”

They stood & took in the city lights. It looked like a whole different world up here. City skylines might have generally looked the same, but this looked magical. Maybe it was the high of the win or maybe the thrill of breaking in to get the view in the first place - The City That Never Sleeps twinkled before them like millions of fireflies in a Southern summer.

“This is amazing,” Tae said.

“Better than from the rooftop pool?” she asked.

“Definitely,”

“You know boys, I can call you a lot of things, but you know what I can’t call you?” she said.

“What?” Kookie asked.

“Losers,” she grinned, cracking open the bottle of champagne.

“You can call me artist,” Namjoon started.

“ARTIST!”

“You can call me idol,”

“IDOL!”

They passed around the bottle of champagne singing to no music. Yoongi lit a cigarette as he twirled Jac around. Tae, Kookie, & Hobi had started a conga line. Namjoon & Jin were singing at each other. Jimin had taken out his phone & was filming.

“YOU CAN’T STOP ME LOVING MYSELF!” They yelled out over the city lights. Yoongi couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he watched Jac make faces into Jimin’s camera. Hobi put his arm around Yoongi’s shoulders.

“You made a good choice with that one,” he said taking a drink out of the bottle of champagne.

“I’m glad you approve,” Yoongi laughed.

“I told you, if she’d been a dude I would’ve nailed her in second,” Hobi grinned.

“Yes, please, talk about hypothetically banging my girlfriend,” Yoongi took the bottle of champagne from him.

“You should be flattered. I have excellent taste,” Hobi said.

“Of course you do,” Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“I’m telling Jimin you said that,”

“Said what? I didn’t say anything,”

“That I have poor taste,” Hobi said.

“I did not say that,” Yoongi said.

“It was implied,”

“What are you two bickering about now?” Jac came up next to Hobi.

“Yoongi thinks I have poor taste,” he said.

“I dunno, I’d say you picked a pretty good husband,” she said.

“See?”

“Fine, fine. I don’t need you two ganging up on me,” Yoongi conceded.

“Would I technically be part of the hyung line?” Jac asked.

“No, no, stop right there!” Yoongi said. Hobi & Jac leaned on each other & laughed.

“He really is no fun,” Jac said to Hobi.

“I should’ve warned you. Sorry about that,”

“I’ll never forgive you,” she said.

“Eh, I live,” he shrugged.

“Love you too, Hobes,”

**April 18, 2019**  
**10:17am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“As much as I enjoy hotels, it’s good to sleep in my own bed,” Hobi said as he helped Jimin onto their bed.

“Agreed,” Jimin yawned. They’d just gotten home from their trip to the US & had the next 2 days off. Then it was the 10 / 6 schedule until they left for Japan on the 2nd.

“How’s my Jiminie?” Hobi crawled into bed next to him.

“Sleepy & sore,” he replied, resting his head on Hobi’s shoulder. Hobi rubbed Jimin’s thigh.

“Feeling better at all?”

“Only a little,” he sighed. Hobi kissed the side of his head.

“I’m sorry,”

“Not your fault,”

“I can still feel bad when you don’t feel good,”

Jimin took Hobi’s hand & interlaced their fingers.

“Tell me a story,” he said.

“What kind of story?” Hobi asked.

“A happy one,” Jimin replied.

“Let’s see,” Hobi started. “Once upon a time there was a handsome prince. He was the most handsome prince in the whole world. Everyone adored him. Everyone wanted to marry the handsome prince especially a lowly guard from the royal torture chamber.”

Jimin laughed.

“The guard came up with an excuse to meet the prince. He learned that the prince liked music & would listen to the musicians play in the afternoons. So one day the guard walked by the prince as he was going to listen to his afternoon music. The guard brushed his hand against the prince’s & they knew it was fate. Their eyes met & the prince knew he’d found his true love,”

“What happened next?” Jimin asked.

“Well a prince couldn’t be seen with a lowly guard. The guard would sneak into the prince’s room at night where they’d make passionate love for hours,” Hobi grinned.

“Did the prince ever sneak down to meet the guard?”

“He did. The prince wanted to see what the guard did all day. He’d never seen a torture chamber before,”

“What happened when he saw it? Was he afraid?” Jimin asked.

“At first. Then the guard showed him what everything was & what it was supposed to do,” Hobi said.

“Then the prince wanted the guard to show him what he did,” Jimin said.

“Who’s telling the story here?” Hobi poked Jimin’s nose.

“Well?”

“Yes, the prince wanted the guard to show him what he did. The guard was afraid that he might hurt the prince. He didn’t want to damage the prince’s perfect porcelain skin,” Hobi kissed him.

“The prince told the guard that he wasn’t worried,” Jimin kissed him back. “That he trusted him.”

“Then the guard showed the prince some of the lighter torture methods,” Hobi said.

“And the prince loved it,” Jimin let go of Hobi’s hand & slid his hand between his legs.

“What does my prince want?” Hobi whispered.

“To see what the lowly guard can do,” Jimin whispered back.

“The collar is in Kookie & Tae’s room,”

“You’re smart. I know you’ll think of something,” Jimin slowly ran his hand over Hobi’s crotch.

“How about some handcuffs & something I haven’t done to you in a long, long time,” he said.

“What’s that?”

“When’s the last time I finger fucked you?”

Jimin moaned a little.

“After I spank you, of course,”

“Of course,” Jimin felt his pants getting tight. Hobi enjoyed actually fucking him so much that he hadn’t finger fucked him in over a year. Jimin was getting hotter just thinking about it.

“How’s the ankle?” Hobi asked.

“I’ll live,” Jimin replied.

“Then get undressed my prince. The lowly guard will show you what he can do,”

They stripped & Jimin held out his arms for Hobi to put the cuffs on.

“On your hands & knees, my prince,”

Then Hobi put his hand between Jimin’s shoulders & carefully pushed his chest on the bed.

“Is my prince ready?”

“Yes,”

Hobi smacked him. Jimin groaned. He hit him again & Jimin groaned louder. Hobi ran his hand across Jimin’s ass.

“Does my prince like what the lowly guard does?”

“Yes, the prince does,” Jimin replied. Hobi hit him & Jimin moaned.

“That’s what I like to hear,” he smiled. He spanked Jimin more, each blow eliciting a moan or squirm. Hobi reached down & wrapped his fingers around Jimin’s cock. It was rock solid.

“Are you ready for my fingers in your ass?”

“Yes please,” Jimin breathed.

“Perfect,”

Hobi ran a finger up Jimin’s spine. He rolled a condom over his index & middle finger.

“Relax, my prince. The guard will take good care of you,” he said.

“I trust you,”

Hobi carefully slid his fingers into Jimin’s ass. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d finger fucked him. Judging from Jimin’s moan, he’d forgotten how much his husband liked it. Hobi moved his fingers slowly in & out of Jimin, hitting every nerve & sensitive spot as he did. Jimin writhed & groaned, pushing against the handcuffs to get more of Hobi’s fingers in his ass.

“I forgot what this does to you,” Hobi grinned as he stimulated a particularly sensitive spot.

“So did I,” Jimin breathed. Hobi was sitting next to Jimin’s hip, gently stroking his outer thigh with his free hand as he moved his fingers. Jimin started to pant.

“However, the guard did make the prince beg. The prince needed the full experience,” Hobi said, pulling his fingers almost all the way out. He tickled just inside the rim as he brushed his fingertips up Jimin’s thigh.

“Please finish me,” Jimin whimpered.

“It’s not that simple, my prince,” Hobi inched his fingers deeper.

“What do you want to hear?” Jimin panted.

“Ask me for permission,”

“May I come, guard?”

“You may,” Hobi pushed his fingers in as far as they would go & hit a sensitive spot. Jimin came. Hobi held onto his hip as he bucked & strained against the cuffs. He felt Jimin contract around his fingers as he shoved his face in a pillow to muffle his screams. He shuddered one more time around Hobi’s hand after he finished. Hobi slid his fingers out, disposed of the condom, & helped Jimin on his back. He undid the cuffs then laid down beside him.

“Did my prince enjoy?” he asked.

“Your prince enjoyed it very much,” Jimin snuggled into Hobi’s chest. “I love you so much Hobi- _hyung_.”

“I love you more Jiminie,” Hobi kissed him.

They fell asleep in a jet lagged post orgasm stupor into a world where all they ever needed was each other.

**April 21, 2019**  
**1:45pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Hobi stepped out on the balcony. Yoongi was sitting there smoking & scribbling in his ubiquitous notebook with a glass of scotch next to him.

“Isn’t it a little early to be drinking?” Hobi said as he sat in the other chair.

“It’s our last day off that won’t be spent sleeping off 6 previous days of ass busting work. I’m getting day drunk,” he replied.

“If that brings you joy, then who am I to argue?”

“You argue all the time,”

“Only because you start it,”

“Oh really?” Yoongi put his notebook down. Hobi stuck his tongue out at him. They both laughed. “How’s Jimin?”

“Getting there. He’ll walk around the room without his boot, though it’s really more like a hop,” Hobi said.

“Still down on himself about it?”

“I’m trying to discourage it. I’ve been moderately successful,”

“All you can do is keep encouraging him,” Yoongi replied.

“Thank you, zen master,” Hobi said.

“You want more? I’ve got plenty,”

“I’ll just get a fortune cookie instead,”

Hobi poured himself a drink & clinked glasses with Yoongi.

“Happy last day off,”

“Happy last day off,”

**3:22pm**

Tae felt something on his face. As he woke up more, he realized Kookie had kissed his cheek to wake him up. He brushed at the side of his face & rolled over.

“What if I’m not done napping?” he muttered. He heard Kookie laugh.

“You want to spend our last day off asleep?”

“Did you have a better idea?” Tae stretched. Kookie brushed his fingers across Tae’s lower stomach.

“I always have a better idea,” he grinned. Tae looked up at him.

“And?”

“What? You want details?” Kookie said.

“Maybe,” Tae put his hands behind his head.

“Let’s see,” Kookie slid his fingers under Tae’s waistband, barely brushing the base of his cock. “I can start by kissing you.” He kissed him.

“I can touch you,” Kookie slowly slid his hand out from Tae’s pants & up his stomach. He rested his hand on Tae’s abs & kissed him again. He moved his hand up to Tae’s neck & rested his hand under his jaw as he kissed him harder.

“I can taste you,” he licked under Tae’s jaw & lightly sucked on the same spot.

“Hey, nothing visible,” Tae told him.

“Was that a challenge?” Kookie asked.

“Maybe,” Tae grazed his fingers down Kookie’s back.

“Challenge accepted,”

Kookie kissed his way down to Tae’s navel & licked right below it. He watched him as he sucked. Tae started to wiggle. Kookie held onto his hips to hold him still. He tasted like dark brown sugar & something earthy that Kookie couldn’t place. He’d never actually given anyone a hickey before. They’d gone straight for belts & collars. There was something strangely intimate about this, though. It may have seemed juvenile on the surface, but tasting his boyfriend’s skin & leaving a mark to show where he’d been got Kookie hot. He pulled down Tae’s pajama pants just enough to reveal his hip bones. He kissed & licked his way over to one side & sucked right inside the bone. He heard Tae moan a little. Kookie could feel Tae’s cock hard against his chin. He kissed & licked his way over to the other hip. Tae was starting to move more as Kookie sucked on the other side. He propped his chin up on Tae’s hip & looked up at him.

“You like?”

“Very much,” Tae ran his hand through Kookie’s hair.

“Though I admit your cock is getting in the way. Would you like me to do something about that?” Kookie ran a finger up the bottom of Tae’s dick.

“Yes baby,”

“Anything to make you happy,” Kookie replied. He took only the tip in his mouth & started teasing him with the tip of his tongue. Tae groaned & squirmed in Kookie’s grip. He inched his way down Tae’s cock working his tongue in quick, short strokes. Tae wrapped his other hand in Kookie’s hair & pushed his head down. He took all of Tae in his mouth & used his whole tongue on the bottom of his dick. Tae moaned.

“Fuck baby,”

Kookie extended his index fingers & started rubbing Tae’s sides at the same rate he was licking.

“Just fucking finish me,” he groaned as he pulled Kookie’s hair. Kookie held on to his sides, pulled back his head, & licked the bump under the tip. Tae began to pant & Kookie felt him start to twitch. He licked with just the tip of his tongue & Tae came. He screamed & pounded into Kookie’s mouth. Kookie let go so he could squirm & thrash all he wanted. He took a second to let go of Kookie’s hair when he finished. Kookie slid up next to him.

“Looks like I found a new way to tease you,” he grinned.

“Looks like,” Tae breathed.

“And it won’t even show in your costume,”

“You marked me,”

“Yes, yes I did,” Kookie kissed him & they settled on top of each other back to dozing off.

**April 25, 2019**  
**10:57pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Yoongi was already sound asleep when Jac came to bed. Their schedule was technically 9am to 8pm with a half hour break each for lunch & dinner. Realistically, they were up between 6 & 7am to get breakfast & wake up enough to be effective in rehearsal. When they got home, it was a fight for the shower (and hot water) then they all passed out. Jac was teaching an evening class this semester so at least half of them were already asleep when she got home. Jimin stayed up to greet her since he was still stuck in the boot. She knew Yoongi always tried to stay awake for her. This was the third day in a row that she’d found him asleep sitting up.

“Hey sleepyhead,” she kissed his cheek when she got in bed next to him. He rolled his head away from her & opened his eyes.

“I tried,” he yawned.

“I know,” she smiled. “Come on.” She pulled him down on the bed with her & wrapped his arms around her waist. He nuzzled his face in her hair.

“Can I ask you something?” he said.

“I might not know the answer, but go ahead,”

“When we had our fight over...getting married…”

“You really want to talk about this when you’re half asleep & have to be up in 7 hours if you fell asleep right this second,” she interrupted.

“Will you please let me talk? You’re as bad as Hobi,”

“Okay. Go ahead,”

“If I weren’t an idol, if I were just a regular guy with a regular job, would you feel the same way that you do now?” he asked.

“I feel the way I do because you are an idol, Yoongi. If you weren’t an idol, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” she replied. He was silent for a moment.

“Do you only love me because I’m an idol?”

“Don’t be an idiot. I had no clue who you were until you showed up in front of me the day of the interview. I’m not one of your delusional fangirls on Twitter,” she said. She rolled over to look at him. He looked hurt. “Yoongi, I love you for who you are. You sure aren’t lovable on the surface, but lucky for you I don’t take things, or people, at face value. I don’t love you for your status or money. I have those. I love you because you’re intelligent, opinionated, & loyal to a fault. It’s because I love you that I don’t want anything to hurt you. We’re risking a lot right now. I know you say you don’t care, but you’d care when you got tossed out of the group. I’d care. It would hurt me. It would hurt your brothers. But I can promise you one thing.”

“What?”

“When this crazy ride is over & you don’t have to pretend anymore, I’ll marry you,”

Yoongi’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Really?”

“Yes,”

“Thank you,” he hugged her. She coughed & he loosened his grip.

“You’re welcome,” she laughed. “Now go to sleep. You have to be up in less than 7 hours.”

“Yes Future Mrs Min Yoongi,” he kissed her.

“Now Future Mr Jac Candler,” she kissed him again.

“I love you,”

“I love you, too,”

**April 27, 2019**  
**5:15pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Jac sat grading homework on the balcony with a glass of wine. The boys wouldn’t be home for over three hours & the house was eerily quiet. She didn’t realize how many noises it made when there was no one making noise over it. She still hadn’t gotten used to it. Yoongi told her she watched too many horror movies. He wasn’t wrong.  
They’d be leaving for Japan in 4 days. She’d taught herself enough Japanese to get around & could wing the rest of it. Her new title was “official accompanying member”. It sounded better than “babysitter”. Jac realized she’d been staring at the same paper for the last 5 minutes.

“Guess it’s time for a break,” her habit of talking to herself also got worse when they weren’t home. She grabbed her glass & the papers & went back inside. When she opened the desk drawer to grab the folder she kept her work in one of Yoongi’s notebooks fell out. It flopped open to a certain page like he’d kept the book open to that page longer than the other pages. As she went to close it & put it back, she saw her name. Yoongi’s handwriting was atrocious, but her name was written in English. She knew she probably shouldn’t read it, but these were pages he pored over with her name on them. She couldn’t stop herself.

_Jac,_  
_I hope you’ll remember the good times when you read this. Jimin’s birthday. The football game. The “quickie” as you call it backstage. The times you made me laugh. The times I made you laugh. Our first kiss. Our first time. I hope you still listen to the song I wrote for you. Please don’t share that. It was for you, not the world. I slept with your earrings under my pillow every night. I read your note hundreds of times. I told myself when we were together that I had to memorize you. I had to remember everything so I could feel you in my hands even when you were half a world away. I have pictures, but those aren’t the same. I want you to remember the good times._  
_I know you’ll ask why I did this. You’ll blame yourself. My brothers will ask the same questions. Don’t blame yourselves. It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. Why did I do this? I decided dying was easier than living. Living was too much effort. I was tired. I decided to go to sleep & never wake up. Nothing any of you said or did would’ve changed that. So that’s why._  
_I know you’re angry. I’d be angry at me, too. I hope one day you can forgive me. If you can’t, I understand. I might not forgive me either._  
_Above all, know that I loved you with everything I am. Tell my brothers I loved them, too. It was never about feeling unloved. I was exhausted. I couldn’t keep it up anymore._  
_As I said, please remember the good times. Remember how I lived, not how I died._  
_I love all of you,_  
_Yoongi_

Jac read the page 3 times to make sure she was reading it correctly. It was a suicide note. That he’d gone over enough to damage the book. Hobi hadn’t said anything about a note when they did catch him. He definitely would’ve told her if there had been a note. So then what was this? She sat on the floor not sure if she wanted to throw the book across the room or start sobbing. Maybe throw it across the room, then start sobbing.

“I need a drink,” she got up, dropped the book on the bed, & went to kitchen.

**8:37pm**

“Honey, we’re home!” Hobi yelled when they opened the door. Jac poured the rest of the bottle into her glass.

“You okay?” he asked when he saw the empty bottle.

“No,” she said flatly. She looked at Yoongi. “I found the note.”

“What note?” Kookie asked.

“Jac, that was when I was in a really bad place…”

“Yet you didn’t bother to leave it out when you actually tried to kill yourself?” she snapped.

“You wrote a suicide note?” Hobi looked at Yoongi.

“I didn’t see it,” Jimin added.

“Why were you even going through my stuff in the first place?” Yoongi asked.

“I wasn’t. I was trying to put my stuff away & it fell out. How many times did you try to write that note? The book practically opened itself,” she replied.

“I wrote it after, okay. I wrote it after they brought me back & I read it every time I felt like trying it again. Then I thought about you reading it & I’d stop myself. That’s why,” he snapped. They all jumped.

“You thought about it that much?” she said quietly.

“I told you. I was exhausted,”

“I’m so sorry,” she hugged him.

“For what?”

“That you felt that way. No one should have to feel that way,”

“I don’t anymore,” he told her.

“Good, because replacing you would take forever,” Hobi said.

“Stop it,” Jin elbowed him in the ribs.

“Sorry Mom,”

“Let’s go out to dinner tonight,” Namjoon said.

“I thought you took a dinner break during practice,” Jac said.

“We can always use more calories,” he replied. “And more importantly family time.”

“Sounds good to me,” she smiled.

“Back out we go,” Hobi said.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Yoongi said when the others were back down the stairs.

“I’m sorry you had to write it in the first place,” she said.

“Not anymore,” he put his arm around her waist & his nose in her hair. “I love you Jac Candler.”

“I love you too, Min Yoongi,”

**April 30, 2019**  
**8:56am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

When the boys walked into the studio, they were surprised to see Mr Bang’s assistant waiting for them.

“What’s going on?” Tae asked.

“We’re postponing the tour until further notice,” he said. “We spoke with the physical therapist & she doesn’t think Jimin’s ankle is up to the rigors of dancing for an entire tour.”

“I can do it,” Jimin insisted. “I’ll be fine.”

“She seems to think otherwise,”

Jimin looked like he was going to cry. Hobi hugged him.

“We’re hoping for June, but don’t push yourself,” he said. Hobi knew that Jimin would push himself until his whole body gave out.

“Thanks for the update,” Namjoon said.

“You can go home. There’s really nothing more you need to do until we determine new dates,”

They all nodded. Hobi kept his arm around Jimin’s waist as they walked back outside. He was down to wearing just a brace & could put weight on his leg, but it would still swell & hurt before the end of the day.

“It’ll be okay, Jiminie. Everything will work out,” Hobi said.

“I guess,” Jimin’s shoulders slumped. As they walked back outside, they heard a tiny meow coming from behind the trash can next to the main door.

“What’s that?” Kookie asked.

“A cat, genius,” Yoongi said. Kookie walked over & there was a tiny gray & white kitten sitting behind the trash can. It looked at him & meowed again.

“Hi there,” he held out his hand.

“Don’t touch it. It might have diseases or something,” Jin said.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Kookie replied. The kitten got up & hopped over to Kookie. It was missing a back leg.

“Now we can’t leave it,” he said.

“Jac won’t like it because she’ll end up taking care of it,” Yoongi said. Kookie picked up the kitten & started petting it.

“How can she say no to this face? And it might not survive out here if it’s missing a leg,” Kookie said.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Tae asked. Kookie checked under the tail.

“It’s a girl,”

“Come on, Yoongi. Let us bring her home?” Tae said. The kitten meowed again.

“Who thinks we should take her home?” Namjoon said. Hobi, Jimin, Tae, & Kookie raises their hands.

“Majority rules,” Namjoon looked at Yoongi.

“Great,” he grumbled.

**9:47am**

Jac heard the door slam & the thunder of the boys coming up the stairs. She also thought she heard a meow. They’d only been gone less than 2 hours.

“She followed us home. Can we keep her?” Kookie held out a gray & white kitten toward Jac.

“A kitten?” she said. Kookie nodded enthusiastically.

“You wanna hold her?”

“Sure,”

Jac took the kitten from him & noticed that she was missing one of her back legs.

“Her name’s Peanut,” Kookie said.

“Peanut?” Jac replied.

“Isn’t that what they call Georgia? The Peanut State?”

“You mean The Peach State?”

“Oh. Well, I already started calling her Peanut,” Kookie said. Jac shook her head & laughed a little.

“I told him you’d be stuck taking care of her,” Yoongi said.

“Probably,” Jac replied. Peanut had started to purr.

“You’re not mad?”

“What kind of person would I be if I tossed a 3 legged kitten back out on the street?” she said.

“So we can keep her?” Kookie asked.

“What do your parents think?” she looked at Jin & Namjoon.

“Fine,” Jin sighed. “We can keep her.”

“Well welcome to the family, Peanut,” Jac said.

**Noon**

“So what happened?” Jac asked Yoongi while Tae & Kookie set up a corner for Peanut.

“They postponed the tour until Jimin’s foot is fully healed. He’s pretty upset about it,” Yoongi told her.

“Why’d they wait this long?”

“I guess they wanted to give it as much time as they could before postponing,” he said.

“So he’s going to spend a month beating himself up,” she said.

“Or longer,”

“Where’s Peanut?” Kookie asked.

“Probably hiding. She is in a new place,” Jac said.

“Should we look for her?” Tae asked.

“Give her a little time. She might come out on her own,”

“Okay, but I’ll go looking for her if she hasn’t come out in a few hours,” Kookie said.

“Fair,” Jac replied.

“Never thought of you as a cat person,” Yoongi said.

“But she’s so cute,” he said.

“And the way she hops around,” Tae added.

“Suckers,” Jac grinned.

**2:45pm**

“How you doing?” Hobi asked. Jimin just sighed. “That bad?”

“It’s my fault the tour got postponed,” he said.

“It’s not like you did it on purpose,” Hobi replied.

“I know. That doesn’t make me feel any better,”

“I know what will make you feel better,” Hobi kissed him.

“What’s that?”

“What always puts you to sleep?”

“Do I look like I need a nap?”

“It certainly can’t hurt,” Hobi ran his hand across Jimin’s crotch.

“I’m okay with that,” Jimin smiled. Hobi positioned himself between Jimin’s thighs & kissed him slowly. Jimin rested his arms on Hobi’s shoulders & kissed him back. Hobi pushed down Jimin’s pants & started massaging his cock. Jimin jumped.

“I couldn’t resist,” Hobi grinned.

“Of course you couldn’t,” Jimin kissed him again. Hobi kissed & licked his way down to Jimin’s dick. He took all of him in his mouth & used his entire tongue on the bottom. Hobi drew circles as he slowly pulled his head back.

Then Hobi felt something fuzzy on his thigh & a wet nose just inside his shorts.

“PEANUT!”

The kitten crawled over the back of his thigh & onto the edge of the bed.

“Stupid cat…” Hobi muttered. Then he heard Jimin laughing. He’d picked her up & was cuddling her.

“What’s so funny?” Hobi asked.

“Your face,” he laughed. “What’d she do? Stick her nose up your butt?”

“No, she just surprised me,” Hobi replied. “How’d she get in here, anyway?”

“She was probably hiding under the bed, right little miss?” Jimin scratched her ears & she started purring.

“You’re taking this awfully well for someone who just had his blow job interrupted,” Hobi sat up next to him.

“Sometimes a good laugh is better than an orgasm,” Jimin looked over at him. Hobi smiled back.

“I will finish you off later,”

“I know,”

“Just check under the bed first,” Jimin grinned. “Right Peanut?” She looked up at him & meowed. Hobi just shook his head.


	19. Early May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background Music (if you’re so inclined):  
> “Begin” BTS (Jungkook’s solo)  
> “Crown” TXT  
> “Quit Playin' Games With My Heart” Backstreet Boys  
> “East Coast Girl” Butch Walker
> 
> Your slash has returned! Horny bitches, rejoice!

**May 2, 2019**   
**7:34pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

“Since we aren't going anywhere for a while, I thought I’d spend some quality time with my boyfriend,” Kookie straddled Hobi on the bed in Jac’s apartment & ran his hand through his hair. He kissed him deeply. Hobi rested his hands on Kookie’s thighs.

“Just wanted to spend time with me, eh?”

“Mmhmm,” Kookie noised as he kissed him again.

“Does this time include my cock in your ass?”

“I hope so,” Kookie ran his hands across Hobi’s shoulders. Hobi unbuttoned Kookie’s jeans. He immediately heard a happy sigh.

“Is somebody that hard already?” he asked.

“I was hard the minute my ass hit your lap,” Kookie told him.

“Good,” Hobi grinned. “I love it when my boyfriend wants me that badly.”

“You know I want you,” Kookie put his hands under Hobi’s shirt & pulled it off.

“Tell me how much you want me,” Hobi pulled Kookie’s head next to his mouth. “I want to hear it.”

“I want you so much that thinking about you gets me hard. I have to stop myself from moaning when I think about your cock in my ass. I start to breathe too fast when I think about you touching me. I have to stop myself from thinking about you naked & how badly I want to be under you when we’re in public. I want you so badly that I think about sucking your dick & all the sounds you make when I’m bored. I can keep going if you want…”

“That’s good for right now,” Hobi tugged off Kookie’s shirt & looked up at him. Kookie smiled down at him, his eyes full of lust & mischief. Hobi walked his fingers down Kookie’s spine.

“You want Baby Dom or boyfriends?”

“Boyfriends,” Kookie replied without hesitating. “I want my boyfriend all night long.”

“Well then, I better get my stamina up,” Hobi grinned.

“And maybe something else,”

“That’s already up. You just can’t tell because you’re sitting on it,”

“Oh I can tell. Trust me, I can tell,” Kookie scooted further up Hobi’s lap, put his hands on Hobi’s cheeks, & kissed him hungrily. He ground his hips into Hobi’s lap as he kissed him. Hobi rested his hands on Kookie’s waist as he let him assault him with his tongue. Kookie wanted him the way Jimin used to want him. He was kissing him the way Jimin used to kiss him. As he listened to Kookie pant in between kisses, he wanted him more. Hobi didn’t only want Kookie. He needed him.

“Time to take off those pants, _maknae_ ,” he said.

“Yes _hyung_ ,” Kookie replied. Hobi’s hackles momentarily went up. As long as he didn’t call him Hobi-hyung, he’d let it slide. Kookie got off him & took off his pants. Hobi lied back on the bed & took his off. Kookie almost immediately got back on top of Hobi. He stretched out so their entire bodies were touching. Hobi grazed his hands over Kookie’s back & down to his ass. Kookie had his arms resting over Hobi’s head.

“Tell me what you want, maknae. Tell me what to do to you,” Hobi hissed into Kookie’s neck.

“I want you inside me, _hyung_. I want you to take me slowly. I want you to torture me. I want you to make me come like only you can,”

“Are you sure? Your _hyung_ is very good at torture,” Hobi kissed under his jaw. Kookie responded by kissing him again.

“Please _hyung_?”

“On your back, _maknae_ ,” Hobi told him.

Hobi entered Kookie slowly. He stared down at him as he slid into him a little bit at a time. Kookie had his arms crossed over his head. Hobi watched Kookie’s pulse increase in the hollow between his neck & collarbones. He licked his lips as he fully entered him & waited there. Kookie bit back a moan.

“No, _maknae_ , you’re not allowed to be quiet. Your _hyung_ wants to hear you,” Hobi grinned.

“Yes _hyung_ ,” Kookie groaned.

“Good _maknae_ ,” Hobi brushed back Kookie’s hair. He slid back out of him almost completely, then back in. Kookie whimpered.

“That’s the sound your _hyung_ likes to hear,” Hobi grinned as he did it again. Kookie clenched his hands into fists. “I can’t hear you.”

“Fuck,” Kookie grunted. Hobi slid his hand up Kookie’s thigh, grazed past the base of his cock, kept going up his abdomen, & stopped at the base of his neck.

“Such a pretty throat,” he said as he slid back out of Kookie. He curled his finger down the side of his neck. Kookie started to squirm under him. He whimpered louder.

“Please Ho-,” Hobi gave him a look. “Please _hyung_.”

“You asked for torture, _maknae_. Be careful what you wish for,” Hobi stroked Kookie’s throat. Kookie started panting. He slowly slid back in. Kookie moaned.

“Oh god,”

“I wish,” Hobi smiled. This was almost better than Domming him. This was erotic. This was sensual. Kookie was at his mercy. He had him begging. Hobi felt powerful & he hadn’t felt powerful in a long time. He loved it. He loved him.

Hobi took his hand & ran in back down Kookie’s chest. He drew a circle around the base of his cock then trailed one finger up the length. Kookie groaned. He was hard as a rock.

“Do you want your _hyung_ to play with your cock?” he asked, lightly brushing the tip.

“Please,”

“Please…?”

“Please _hyung_ ,”

“Of course, _maknae_ ,” Hobi wrapped his fingers around Kookie’s cock one at a time. He slid out of him almost completely so only the tip was still in Kookie’s ass then massaged his cock. Kookie let out a combination of a squeak & a moan. Hobi slid all the way back in & rubbed the bump under the tip with his thumb. Kookie grabbed onto Hobi’s biceps & started clawing at him. Hobi repeated the cycle.

“ _Hyung_ …”

“Yes?”

“Finish me,”

“Did you just give your elder an order?” Hobi asked.

“Please finish me, _hyung_ ,” Kookie was about to draw blood from Hobi’s arms.

“Yes, _maknae._ But only because I’m a good _hyung_ ,” he put all of his cock in Kookie’s ass, gave him a few strong strokes, & Kookie came. He bucked his hips against Hobi as he cussed & screamed. He clawed at Hobi’s back. Hobi kept stroking his dick as he came. It seemed like his orgasm went on forever. He let go of Hobi when he finished & flopped back into the pillows. Hobi held out his hand. Kookie turned his head & licked Hobi’s palm.

“Good _maknae_. Now it’s time for your hyung to finish,” Hobi said. Kookie nodded. Hobi thrust into him. Listening to Kookie grunt & moan even after he’d already come got Hobi hotter. He braced his hands on the wall as he thrust into him. Kookie looked up at him & licked his lips.

“Fuck me, _hyung_ ,”

“Was that an order?”

“A suggestion,”

“Good suggestion, _maknae_ ,” Hobi started pounding him. Kookie looked up at him & licked his finger. Fucking tease. Hobi felt himself start to twitch. Kookie obviously felt it too because he put one arm behind his head & slowly dragged one finger across his lips as he put the other one behind his head. He stared at Hobi & mouthed “Do it”.

Hobi came. He thrust hard into Kookie as he grunted & twisted above him. Hobi threw his head back as he pushed harder against the wall. He heard Kookie grunting & moaning under him. He couldn’t remember the last time he came this hard. When he finished, it took him a second to get his bearings. He pulled out & fell on the bed next to Kookie.

“Fuck,” he breathed.

“Thank you,” Kookie rolled over on his stomach & kissed him.

“You’re welcome,” Hobi replied. “You fucking tease.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist,” Kookie grinned.

“Come here,” Hobi grabbed him & hugged him. “I love you, you nasty little tease.”

“I love you too, you amazing fuck,” Kookie laughed as Hobi nuzzled his ear.

“In another life,” Hobi said.

“Yeah,” Kookie agreed.

They fell asleep - Kookie on top of Hobi, his head resting on Hobi’s chest - dreaming of different lives with different people in different worlds.

**May 5, 2019**   
**3:14pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Tae opened the door to the balcony. Yoongi was sitting there writing & turned around when he heard the door.

“Hey, can I talk to you?” Tae asked.

“Sure,” Yoongi put down his notebook & lit up a cigarette. “What’s up?”

“Well you helped me before with Kookie & I kinda need advice again,” he said.

“I’ll try,”

“I feel like he’s totally ignoring me for Hobi. Jimin hasn’t been responding to any of my texts to see if he’s interested in doing anything. This is probably TMI, but I haven’t gotten laid in 2 weeks or so. Kookie & I have fooled around, but we haven’t had sex. I know I’ll always be Jimin’s second choice. I know it’s probably karma or something for when I spent more time with Jimin than Kookie, but we still had sex. I don’t know what to do,” Tae sighed.

“Have you told Kookie any of this?”

“No,”

“You might want to,” Yoongi tapped the ash off the end of his cigarette. “He might not even realize how you feel.”

“You think?”

“He might think you’re fine with just fooling around & he might not know that you haven’t been spending time with Jimin. Communication is key. I know you know that,”

Tae shoulders slumped.

“I know,”

“So what are you afraid of?” Yoongi asked, stamping out his cigarette.

“I dunno,”

“I have a pretty good idea of the dynamic in your little love...whatever. Hobi isn’t interested in butting in on your relationship with Kookie. Their dynamic may have changed recently, but he’s not interested in having Kookie to himself. Too much work. Jimin is enough on a good day,”

“He’s not that bad,”

“Oh really?”

“He can be a little high maintenance,” Tae conceded.

“And Kookie isn’t?”

“I mean...I never really thought about it like that…”

“Might be worth giving it a thought or two,” Yoongi replied. Yoongi picked up his notebook & went back to writing.

“Thanks Yoongi,” Tae said, feeling like he was being brushed off. Right as he was about to open the door, heard Yoongi’s voice again.

“You’re his anchor, Tae. Don’t forget that,”

“Don’t forget yours either,” Tae said once he understood what Yoongi was trying to say.

“Wasn’t planning on it,”

**6:37pm**

Tae decided to approach Kookie after dinner.

“Did you have plans tonight?” he asked Kookie when they got back to their room.

“Not that I know of,”

“I want to spend time with you, baby. I miss you,” Tae took Kookie’s hands & kissed him.

“I miss you, too,” Kookie replied.

“Really?”

“Mmhmm,” Kookie kissed him again & hooked his fingers in Tae’s belt loops. Tae hugged Kookie’s shoulders as he kissed him back.

“I love you so much, baby,” Tae breathed.

“I love you more,” Kookie replied. “I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you.”

“You can make it up to me,”

“How’s that?”

“I haven’t been fucked in longer than I care to think about,” Tae replied.

“That’s not acceptable,”

“What are you going to do about it?”

Kookie put his lips next to Tae’s ear as he unbuttoned his jeans.

“Fuck you like the first time,”

“You tease,” Tae put his hands under Kookie’s shirt.

“It’s not teasing if I do it,” Kookie kissed his neck. “And you know I can, baby.”

“Prove it,” Tae pulled off Kookie’s shirt. Kookie gave him a devilish look & shoved him on the bed. He stretched his body out on top of Tae’s. Tae dug his fingers into Kookie’s back as they kissed each other like their lives depended on it. Kookie had one hand down the side of Tae’s pants & the other one behind his head.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” Kookie said when they came up for air.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Tae grinned. Kookie laughed.

“Thank you. Now strip so I can fuck you properly,”

“Only if you do,”

“Of course,” Kookie took off his shorts & flung them toward the closet. Tae pulled off his shirt & wiggled out of his jeans. Tae got up on his hands & knees while Kookie got ready.

“Now for the fun part,” Kookie ran his hand over Tae’s ass.

“Can’t wait,” Tae replied. Kookie smacked him. Tae groaned. Kookie hit him again. Tae groaned again. Kookie grazed his fingers up Tae’s thighs & wrapped his hands around his waist. He thrust into him & Tae grunted. Kookie rested his chest on Tae’s back as he thrust into him with his arms wrapped around Tae’s chest.

“Did you miss this, baby?”

“I did,” Tae tilted his head back & pushed his ass back onto Kookie’s cock.

“If you do that then I can’t fuck you right,” Kookie kissed between Tae’s shoulders.

“Fine,” Tae swayed his back.

“That’s better,” Kookie sat up. He put his hands on Tae’s thighs & started thrusting in him. Tae clutched the sheets & started breathing harder. It really did feel like the first time. When they wanted each other so much that they couldn’t hold back even if they wanted to. It was everything he wanted. It was everything he needed.

“Harder,” Tae panted.

“Of course, baby,” Kookie moved his hands up to Tae’s waist & sped up.

“Fuck,” Tae moaned. “Keep doing that.”

“Anything for you,” Kookie replied. Tae squirmed as Kookie pounded into him. He dropped down onto his elbows & swayed his back even more.

“You ready to come for me, baby?” Kookie asked. Tae nodded. “Good.”

Kookie slowed down & thrust into him every few seconds. Tae buried his face in the pillow when he came. He took all of Kookie’s cock in his ass while he grunted & screamed into the pillow. He came hard. He came really hard. Kookie was holding him up when he finished. He thrust into him a few more times then he came. He somehow managed to hold them both up as he pounded into Tae & buried his face in his back. When he finished, he unceremoniously dropped them face down onto the bed. Tae stretched his arms over his head to help catch his breath. Having Kookie on his back didn’t help. Kookie was resting his hands on Tae’s shoulders. He kissed the back of Tae’s neck then rolled off of him. Tae rolled on his side to face him.

“So did I deliver on my promise?” Kookie asked.

“You did,” Tae kissed him.

“Good,” he grinned.

“Nobody does it for me like you do,”

“Same,” Kookie put his hand on Tae’s cheek. “You know I was beginning to think you didn’t care about me as much anymore.”

“Never, baby. You’ll always be my first choice,”

“That’s what Hobi said,” Kookie told him.

“He’s right,” Tae scooted closer to Kookie & hugged his waist. Kookie kissed him delicately.

“I love you, Kim Taehyung. I’ll love you for the rest of my life,”

“I love you too, Jeon Jungkook. I’ll love you until the day I die. Maybe longer if you believe in ghosts,” Tae replied. Kookie laughed. They looked at each other until they couldn’t keep their eyes open any longer.

**May 7, 2019**   
**8:45pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Yoongi had just cracked open a fresh notebook when Peanut jumped on the bed. For having only 3 legs, she was surprisingly agile.

“Aren’t you supposed to be Kookie’s cat?” he looked at her. She simply crawled in his lap & settled there. “Guess not.”

He looked at the blank page. There was something exciting about a blank page, but also intimidating. Ever since Jac had found his notebook with the suicide note in it, Yoongi had struggled with how much to put into writing. Originally, they’d been a place to write down ideas for songs. It was somewhere to jot down what he was thinking before he forgot. It had slowly evolved into part work part diary. His music was intensely personal, but there were some thoughts that didn’t need to be put in a song yet couldn’t keep bouncing around in his head. These were thoughts he either couldn’t or didn’t want to share. Then Jac found the note & part of his secret was revealed. That was another part of his dilemma. If he really was going to spend the rest of his life with her, shouldn’t he be willing to share everything? But he knew how dark his thoughts could get. He didn’t want to worry her when he knew they would pass. He’d tell her outright if something was wrong. Right?

He felt his pen move & looked down. Peanut had swatted at it & was trying to chew the end.

“Excuse you,” he said. He went to pull it away & she jumped after it.

“Nut,” he rolled his eyes. She looked at him. “What? You’re okay if I call you Nut?” The kitten meowed at him. He dangled the pen in front of her. She jumped at it. Yoongi kept dangling the pen & Peanut would jump at it. Periodically he’d let her catch it & chew on it.

“Made a friend I see,” Jac’s voice surprised them both. Peanut jumped off the bed & went scrambling into the hall.

“Didn’t mean to interrupt playtime,” she grinned.

“Eh, we were just getting used to each other,” he replied.

“And to think you didn’t want her,”

“It’s not that I didn’t want her. I didn’t want you to feel like we were making you do extra work. I’m not so heartless that I’d turn away a 3 legged kitten,” he told her.

“I knew you were a big softie,” she teased, sitting next to him on the bed.

“Don’t tell anyone,” he said.

“Your secret is safe with me,” she smiled. He patted her thigh.

“Have I told you I love you today?”

“Not that I recall,”

“I love you Jac Candler,”

“I love you too, Min Yoongi,” she kissed him.

**11:15pm**

Namjoon couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t unusual for him. Now that they weren’t expending every ounce of energy they had 6 days a week, he had trouble sleeping. Jin was sound asleep beside him.

“I’ll be back,” he kissed him & got up. He wandered into the living room & flopped down on the couch. He heard a trilling noise next to him.

“Sorry Peanut,”

The kitten stretched, walked in a circle, & settled back down.

“Lucky,” he sighed.

“Our fearless leader’s insomnia has returned,” Hobi said.

“I’m not used to being this sedentary for this long,”

“Hubby not wearing you out enough?” Hobi winked.

“Shut up,” Namjoon went to poke him with his foot. “You wear yours out?”

“The painkillers do most of the work for me these days,” Hobi sat on the couch next to Namjoon.

“I feel like we need to do something other than just sit around,” Namjoon sighed.

“Take up parkour? I dunno,” Hobi shrugged.

“Do you remember when we first started?”

“I’d like to forget some of those outfits,” Hobi replied.

“I almost feel like I’ve lost that spark. I’ve lost the drive I had when we were rookies & looking to make our mark. We’ve won a Grammy. We sell out stadiums. You would think I’d be even more driven, but I’m not. I dunno. It’s hard to explain,” Namjoon had never said any of that out loud before. It had been steadily weighing on his mind for months.

“We’re at the top. It’s up to us to stay here. We clawed our way up here with almost no support. We were the little guys. Now look at us. No one is going to keep us here except us. I dunno about not feeling the spark any more, but I know what it’s like to feel exhausted. Maybe you do need a break even if you get a little fidgety. It might give you time to not be Dad for a while,” Hobi said.

“I’ll always be Dad,” Namjoon smiled a little.

“True,”

“Thanks Hobi,”

“No problem. I’m going to get the water that I came down here to get & go back to my gloriously needy husband,” Hobi grinned.

“You do that,”

“Enjoy your pussy,” Hobi nodded toward Peanut.

“Oh always,” Namjoon rolled his eyes.

“G’night Dad,”

“G’night Hobi,”

Namjoon thought about what Hobi said long after he left. Maybe it was time for a break. He just needed to figure out how do it.

**May 9, 2019**   
**8am**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Namjoon’s phone rang & he clawed around on his nightstand for it. He’d only gotten to sleep two hours before.

“Hello?”

“Namjoon, how are you?” Mr Bang sounded far too awake for his liking.

“I’m fine. How are you?”

“I’m well. I was wondering if you’d be able to come down to the rehearsal studio?”

“Right now?”

“As soon as you can get here,”

“What’s this about?” Namjoon asked.

“Nothing bad. I’d just like your help with something,”

“Okay. I’ll be down there in an hour,” he stifled a yawn.

“Excellent. See you then,”

“What was that about?” Jin asked.

“I’m not sure. Mr Bang wants me down at the rehearsal studio, like, now,” Namjoon replied.

“Huh. Wonder what’s so urgent,”

“Me too,”

**9:05am**

Namjoon stifled a yawn as he walked into their usual rehearsal studio. Mr Bang was standing there with five rather anxious looking boys next to him. Namjoon had been dimly aware that they were forming another group, but they’d been too busy to give it much thought.

“Namjoon, glad you could make it,” he smiled.

“Of course,” _You’re my boss. What do you expect?_

“I’d like to introduce you to Tomorrow X Together or, much like you, TXT for short. Boys?”

“I’m Soobin. I’m the leader,” he gave a slight bow. He was tall & bore a striking resemblance to Kookie.

“Yeonjun,” the second one bowed. He looked familiar, but Namjoon couldn’t place him. Other than looking like a mini version of Tae.

“Beomgyu,” the third one bowed. He had a Daegu accent you could cut with a chainsaw.

“Taehyun,” the fourth one bowed. He looked like a younger Jin.

“Huening Kai. Or Kai, if you’d prefer,” the fifth one bowed. He looked about 12 & he was already as tall as Namjoon.

“Their debut is next month & I thought since you’ve got some free time now, you might be able to give them some help before then,” Mr Bang said. Oh hell.

“We’d be happy to,” Namjoon replied. “Should I get everyone else out here?”

“I leave that to your discretion. I won’t delay you any longer,” Mr Bang said.

“Thank you,” the younger ones said. Mr Bang left & there was an awkward silence.

“It really is an honor to work with you. You’re the best,” Soobin finally spoke.

“Thank you,” Namjoon replied. He recognized the looks on their faces. He’d had that same look 6 years ago. They hadn’t had anyone to guide them. He wanted to do right by these kids.

“So how long have you been together?”

“End of February,” Soobin said.

“And your debut is?”

“June 10th,” Kai spoke up.

“Let me guess, you’re the _maknae_ ,” Namjoon said.

“How’d you know?” he asked.

“Our _maknae_ always interrupted me, too,”

Kai blushed. Namjoon winked at him.

“No need for formality here. Though I wouldn’t suggest getting mouthy with Hobi during rehearsal,”

“Hoseok?” Taehyun asked.

“The same,” Namjoon said. “Sit. Tell me what you need from us.”

They all sat on the floor & the younger ones looked at each other.

“Ummm, everything?” Beomgyu said.

“It can’t be that bad,”

“I mean, no one has said it out loud, but they kind of look at us like we still don’t know what we’re doing after 2 months,” Yeonjun said.

“People looked at us like we didn’t know what we were doing for longer than 2 months. Don’t worry, we’ll do everything we can to make sure you look as good as you can by next month,” Namjoon told them.

“We?” Kai said.

“What, you didn’t think I was going to do this by myself, did you?” he grinned.

 

The other 6 came into the rehearsal room about an hour later with various levels of knowledge regarding the situation. Introductions were made & Namjoon caught them up to speed.

“I know you,” Tae said to Yeonjun. “You worked with me on my solo.”

“I did,” he said.

“Good to see you here,” Tae smiled. Yeonjun’s body language relaxed.

“Who’s the best dancer?” Hobi asked. Yeonjun tentatively raised his hand. “Come show me the choreography for your first song.”

“Okay,” he nodded, tensing up again.

“Kid looks like he’s 10 seconds away from a heart attack,” Yoongi leaned over to Namjoon.

“Wouldn’t you be if you were his age & Hobi asked you to show him choreography?”

“Fair,”

“Speaking of which, your turn to traumatize one of them,” Namjoon said. “Or more.”

“You just made my week,” Yoongi grinned as he stood up. He waved Soobin & Kai over. “You two, you’re going to get some rap lessons.”

“Beomgyu & Taehyun, go see Jimin & Kookie for some vocal tips. Welcome to BTS Bootcamp,” Namjoon said.

**1pm**

“Ready for lunch?” Namjoon asked.

“Yes,” the five of them said in unison.

“Get plenty to eat. The afternoon is dance practice,” Hobi told them. Once Yeonjun had showed him the choreography, he’d been working out the blocking & refining some of the rough edges.

“There’s a place down the street we usually go to,” Jin said, leading the herd. Kai fell in step with Kookie.

“Jungkook- _sunbaenim_ , can I ask for some advice?”

“Kookie,” he said.

“What?”

“Call me Kookie. I don’t think I’m quite qualified for _sunbae_ status yet,” he grinned.

“Oh, okay,” Kai said.

“What did you need?”

“I’m the _maknae_ & I was wondering if you could give me some advice. I know you were about my age when you started,” he said.

“How old are you?”

“Sixteen,”

“I was technically 15 when I started. What do you want to know?” Kookie grabbed a sandwich out of the case in the deli.

“Um, what do you wish someone told you?” Kai asked.

“A lot of things,” Kookie laughed as they sat down. “Anything someone wants to teach you, learn it. Whether it’s from us or your brothers. If you see something you want to learn, ask. Don’t be shy. Believe it or not, I was actually really shy when I came here. They brought me out of my shell a lot.”

“You were shy?”

“I was. Ask any of them,”

“Were you nervous?” Kai asked.

“We were all nervous. Though I wasn’t as good looking as you when I was your age,” Kookie replied. Kai blushed. “That’s something you’ll need to get over.”

“What?”

“Getting embarrassed when someone gives you a compliment. You’ll be hearing things like that in interviews regularly. It’s cute for a while, but as you get older you’ll need to be more confident,” Kookie told him.

“Right,” Kai nodded.

“You’ll get there. If you really want to be thrown in the deep end, we’ll get Jac out here. She’ll get you over that really fast,”

“Jac?”

“Our sister,” Tae chimed in.

“You have a sister?” Soobin asked.

“In a manner of speaking,” Namjoon said. “You’ll meet her at some point.”

“Let’s train them up a little first,” Jin said. The younger ones all looked at each other.

“She could do interview training,” Hobi poked Yoongi in the ribs.

“Shut the fuck up,” he punched Hobi in the arm. The older ones laughed.

“Alright, enough punching each other. Back to work,” Namjoon got up. They got up & walked back to the studio.

“What do you think so far?” Jin asked as they brought up the rear.

“They’ve got potential & I think we can get them ready in a month,” Namjoon replied.

“Agreed,” Jin said. “And I think Kookie has an admirer.”

“You mean idolizer?”

“That too,”

“We all had to start somewhere,” Namjoon said.

“That we did,” Jin agreed. “That we did.”

**5:07pm**

“I think that’s enough for today,” Hobi said.

“Oh thank god,” Beomgyu flopped on the floor.

“I went easy on you today,” Hobi nudged him with his foot.

“Seriously?” Taehyun said. He had his hands on his knees.

“Seriously,” Jimin said from the corner.

“It’s a simple routine. There’s no reason it can’t be sharp & perfect,” Hobi told them.

“Don’t worry, we’ll have you doing our choreography in no time,” Tae said. They all looked at him wide eyed.

“Way to scare them,” Jin said.

“Anyway, get some rest, make sure you eat, & we’ll see you back here tomorrow at 8,” Namjoon said. Kai helped Beomgyu off the floor.

“Got it,” Soobin said. “Thank you.”

“Our pleasure,” Jimin said. They watched the younger ones shuffle out the door.

“I feel old,” Tae said.

“You’re not that much older than Yeonjun,” Yoongi pointed out.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t feel old,” Tae replied.

“Though I did feel nostalgic hearing that Daegu accent,” Yoongi said.

“They’ll probably make him get rid of that,” Namjoon said as they walked outside to the van.

“Guess we’ll enjoy it while it lasts,” Tae said.

 

Jac was at the coffee table grading with a glass of wine when they got home. She kept having to push Peanut off the papers.

“So where have you lot spent today?” she asked.

“We met our little brothers,” Hobi said.

“Little brothers?”

“The new group they formed. Their debut is next month & we’ve been tasked with getting them ready for it,” Namjoon said.

“That’s one way to spend your free time,” she said, picking up Peanut off the coffee table & handing her to Kookie. “Think they’ve got potential?”

“Definitely, they just need some polishing up,” Jin said.

“That’s good. Are you going to let me meet them or will I traumatize them?” she grinned.

“You’re interview prep,” Namjoon said. Hobi cackled. Yoongi punched him in the shoulder again.

“My favorite,” she grinned.

“I thought you’d enjoy that,” he said.

“You would be correct,”

“I’m getting a drink & getting away from you losers,” Yoongi said.

“Hey!” Jac said in mock insult.

“I was talking to them,” he kissed her.

“Sure you were,” she said. Peanut wiggled out of Kookie’s grip to follow Yoongi into the kitchen.

“How come she likes him better?” Kookie huffed.

“Cats pick their people,” Jac said. “Though she won’t be happy when we don’t let her outside.”

“Then maybe she’ll sit with me,” Kookie said.

“Now I’m starting to feel unloved,” Tae said. They laughed.

Sure enough, Peanut scratched & howled to be let out while Yoongi was on the balcony.

“Nut, no,” he said through the glass door. She kept scratching.

“Here, come see Uncle Jiminie,” Jac picked her up & put her in Jimin’s lap. She considered jumping down for a moment, then walked in a circle & settled down.

“I’m still insulted,” Kookie said.

“That’s a cat for you,” Jac said.

“I dunno, maybe Kai’s attention will make up for it,” Hobi teased.

“Shut up,” Kookie said.

“Got a little shadow?” Jac asked.

“Their _maknae_. He took to our _maknae_ almost immediately,” Hobi said.

“That’s kinda cute,” Jac said.

“He just wanted some advice,” Kookie said. “I didn’t have any help when I came here.”

“You had us,” Jimin said.

“I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. The leader knows what he’s supposed to do. The oldest knows what he’s supposed to do. What does the _maknae_ do? Look cute? Be annoying? A little of both? You guys raised me, but I had to navigate this alone. I don’t want Kai to feel the same way I did,”

They were all stunned.

“I had no idea you felt that way,” Namjoon said.

“I didn’t see much point in telling you. I know what I’m supposed to do now,” Kookie replied.

“So you kept this to yourself for almost 6 years?” Tae asked. Kookie nodded. Tae hugged him.

“Baby, I’m so sorry,”

“It’s over now. I can help someone else,” Kookie hugged him back.

“Still,” Tae kissed him.

“I’m sorry,” Hobi said. “I didn’t realize.”

“I told you. It’s fine,” Kookie said, clearly starting to get irritated.

“Let’s go lie down,” Tae suggested.

“Sure,” Kookie sighed. Tae took his hand & led him down the hall, leaving the others behind still processing what had just happened.

**9:59pm**

“Being back there with them reminded me of when we first started,” Hobi propped his head up on his hand. Jimin looked up at him.

“Me too,”

“And your adorable baby cheeks,” Hobi grinned as he went to pinch Jimin’s cheeks.

“Stop,” Jimin covered his face.

“Though your abs were worth looking at, too,” Hobi kissed him.

“Thank you,” Jimin kissed him back. “I couldn’t stop watching the way you moved. I spent most of my life in dance class. You move like it’s second nature. You captivated me from the very beginning, Hobi.”

“So did you,” Hobi replied.

“Then why did we wait so long?” Jimin asked.

“Because we were young & stupid?” Hobi laughed a little.

“Sounds good enough to me,” Jimin smiled.

“So if we could do it all over again, what would you want me to do?” Hobi asked.

“Other than ask me out like a normal person on a normal date?”

“Other than that,”

“I’d want our first time to be different,” Jimin said.

“Me too,” Hobi agreed. “Same passion, maybe less spanking.”

“And maybe no handcuffs?”

“You want to give our first time another shot?”

“I think it’s worth trying,” Jimin smiled. “Just check for kittens first.” Hobi shook his head & rolled his eyes, but checked the room anyway. Peanut was nowhere to be found. Hobi got back on the bed & lied facing Jimin.

“Forgive me if I say some things I may not have said then,”

“Hobi- _hyung_ , I knew you loved me even then. And I loved you. We’re just brave enough to say it now,” Jimin kissed him. Jimin was right. Hobi had fallen in love with him long before he’d ever had the guts to say it. It’s why part of him would always feel guilty for putting Jimin through so much. Yet Jimin loved him anyway.

“I love you so much, Jiminie,” Hobi kissed him.

“I love you too, Hobi- _hyung_ ,” Jimin pulled himself closer to Hobi & kissed him passionately. He kissed him with the slow burning fire that had been building for months, if not years, between them. He’d wanted him so desperately, but had no idea how to go about it. Hobi had asked him to Sub for him & if that was his in, then Jimin took it. This time it would be different. This time it would be what it should’ve been. Jimin got goosebumps where Hobi’s hands were under his shirt. He weaved his hands in Hobi’s hair as he pressed their bodies as close together as he could. He felt Hobi’s chest heave against his as he kissed him. Hobi crept his hands down the back of Jimin’s pants & squeezed his ass. Jimin sighed happily.

“You like that?” Hobi whispered.

“Always,” Jimin replied. “I feel like we have too many clothes on.”

“Then let’s fix that,” Hobi grinned. They stripped, sending clothes flying all over the room. Jimin giggled as Hobi got on top of him.

“What’s so funny?”

“It took us almost 4 years & marriage to get our first time right,”

“Don’t get too excited. We haven’t gotten to the main event,” Hobi kissed him.

“I’m confident,” he smiled. “Kiss me like you wanted to then. Like you really wanted to.”

Hobi thought back to when they first got to know each other. He thought back to when he first realized Jimin was the one he wanted. He remembered how he wanted it to feel, but he was too scared to be that vulnerable. He kissed him in deep, panting kisses. The kind where he had to catch his breath every few seconds.

Jimin wrapped his arms around Hobi’s shoulders & arched his back so their chests touched. Hobi’s skin was sticky against his. He’d already started to sweat. He’d already let himself go there.

“Give me more,” Jimin breathed.

“More what, my prince?”

“Get inside me. Make me come like only you can,” Jimin whispered in his ear. He felt Hobi shiver.

“Anything for my prince,” Hobi kissed him. Jimin lied back on the bed with his arms above his head. Hobi couldn’t believe that this beautiful boy was his. And had promised to be his forever.

“I love you,” Hobi said as he entered Jimin.

“I love you, too,” Jimin smiled up at him. He brushed Hobi’s hair off his face. “Already sweaty?”

“What can I say? You get me hot & bothered,” Hobi kissed him.

“Good,”

He started slowly sliding in & out of Jimin, drawing it out as long as he could. Jimin moaned & burrowed into the pillows. Hobi pushed all of his dick in his ass & walked his fingers up Jimin’s torso. He rested his fingers at the base of his throat.

“Why are you so beautiful?” Hobi asked.

“Because you believe I am,” Jimin replied.

“You need to believe it, too,” Hobi slid his hand behind Jimin’s head & lightly massaged the back of his head. “You’re perfect, Jiminie. You always have been.”  
  
“Thank you, Hobi- _hyung_ ,” Jimin rubbed Hobi's back.

“Now let me give my prince what he deserves,” Hobi ground his cock into Jimin’s ass as he kissed him. Jimin pushed himself up a little, grabbed the back of Hobi’s head, & kissed him harder.

“You know what I want,” Jimin whispered when they parted.

“Getting pounded or having your cock played with?”

“Dealer’s choice,” Jimin kissed under Hobi’s jaw.

“Then lie back down,”

“Of course,” Jimin grinned coyly. That smile made Hobi’s heart skip a beat. He put one hand by Jimin’s shoulder & slowly ran the other one up his thigh. He drew a circle around the base of his cock & slowly ran his finger up the under side. Jimin moaned. Hobi grasped Jimin’s cock & slowly ran his fingers up the entire length. He stopped & massaged the bump with his thumb. Jimin started to writhe under him & whimpered.

“I’m not done with you that quickly, my prince,” Hobi smiled. Jimin breathed harder. Hobi almost completely pulled out & ran his fingers in a ripple motion up & down Jimin’s cock. Hobi slowly slid back in & kept an even pace with his hand. When he was as deep in Jimin’s ass as he could go, he let go of his dick.

“Now I’m going to finish you,” he hissed. Hobi ground his hips against Jimin’s ass & Jimin responded. He grabbed Hobi’s biceps & dug in his fingers. Hobi leaned over as close to Jimin’s ear as he could get.

“Come for me, my beautiful prince,” he murmured. He bucked his hips once & Jimin came in a fit of screaming & clawing at Hobi’s arms. He was simultaneously pushing himself further on the bed & grinding onto Hobi’s cock. Hobi came a few seconds later. He had a hard time staying upright as he pounded into Jimin.

This was what their first time should’ve been. Except that neither of them knew any better. They were young &, though neither wanted to admit it, naive. This time they knew what they really wanted, they knew who they really were, & they weren’t afraid to hold back.

Hobi collapsed onto Jimin. They were both sweaty & completely spent.

“I love you,” Hobi managed to say.

“I love you, too,” Jimin replied, running his hand down Hobi’s hair.

“Marry me?”

“Always,”

**May 11, 2019**   
**1:08pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

“Can you bring us back something? We need to stay here & plan out the afternoon session,” Namjoon told Yoongi.

“Yeah sure,” he shrugged. He led the group of sweaty & slightly out of breath teenagers with their unofficial partners trying to help them along.

“Planning the afternoon session, huh?” Jin said when he was confident they were out of earshot.

“I already know exactly what they’re doing. I just wanted a little time alone with you,” he kissed him. “In the studio,” he kissed him again. “Like old times,” he kissed him a third time.

“Like old times?” Jin grinned.

“Maybe with a few modifications,” Namjoon said.

“Such as?”

“Avoiding the mirrors,”

Jin simply giggled & pulled Namjoon up off the floor. Namjoon pushed Jin into the corner & kissed him hungrily. Jin put his hands up Namjoon’s shirt while Namjoon slid his hands around Jin’s hips & grabbed his ass.

“I can’t wait to get you home,” Namjoon whispered.

“What are you going to do to me?” Jin asked, lightly running his nails over Namjoon’s waist.

“I’m going to put you in handcuffs & I’m going to fuck you hard just like we used to. You’re going to tell me to fuck you until we’re both sore. Then we’ll both have to pretend we aren’t sore tomorrow. But we can’t be loud when we come. The kids can’t know what we’re up to,” Namjoon told him as he slid his hands down the back of Jin’s shorts & grabbed his ass. Jin groaned as Namjoon kissed him.

“I love it when you talk dirty to me,” he pulled Namjoon closer & dug his fingers into Namjoon’s back. He moaned.

“Stop that,”

“Why?” Jin practically batted his eyes at Namjoon.

“I’m already going to have enough trouble hiding this boner,” he kissed Jin’s jaw.

“If I thought I could get away with it, I’d make you come now,” Jin kissed him.

“Tease,”

“One of the many reasons you married me,”

“Yup,” Namjoon took his hands out of Jin’s shorts & pinned him to the wall with his hips. They kissed each other like their first kiss. Like somehow it might be their only chance. Somehow they’d made it work for almost 6 years.

“I love you so much,” Namjoon breathed into Jin’s neck.

“I love you too,” Jin wrapped his fingers in Namjoon’s hair. “Think they’ll be back soon?”

“I hope not,” Namjoon replied.

“Only 4 more hours then you can take me home & fuck me senseless,” Jin ran his hand up Namjoon’s side.

“Too long,”

“I know. And you still have to run rehearsal,” Jin kissed him again.

“Why do you do this to me?”

“What?”

“Make me want you so badly?”

“All part of my charm,” Jin grinned. They heard the external door slam. “Back to work.”

**8:44pm**

“Yeah 4 more hours, my ass,” Namjoon said as he pushed the door to their room closed a little harder than he intended. They’d come home, had dinner, & gone over how rehearsal had gone that day.

“It’s a very nice ass,” Jin kissed him.

“You flatter me, love,”

“Only telling the truth,”

Namjoon backed Jin onto the bed & climbed on top of him. He slid his hand behind Jin’s neck as he kissed him. Jin pulled Namjoon’s shirt off & dug his fingers into Namjoon’s back. Namjoon grunted.

“No need to hide anything now,” he kissed Namjoon harder. Namjoon ground his hips against Jin’s.

“Nope,”

“So where are those handcuffs?”

“Patience, my love, don’t you want to enjoy at least a little foreplay?”

Jin put his arms over his head & looked up at Namjoon.

“Do you?”

“No,” he laughed. “I have been thinking about this all day.”

“Off you go then,” Jin sat up & pulled off his shirt. He grabbed Namjoon’s shorts as he leaned over to get the handcuffs out of the bedside table & pulled them half down.

“Very funny,” he said.

“I thought so,” Jin giggled. Namjoon turned over & kicked them off completely. Jin was already naked. He held out his hands & Namjoon put the cuffs on.

“Over,”

Jin rolled over & put his chest on the bed. He stayed up on his knees. Namjoon wrapped his hands around Jin’s thighs & thrust into him. Jin took a sharp breath in.

“Being quiet isn’t going to be any fun,” he said.

“We’ll still have fun,” Namjoon replied. “Ready to be sore?”

“So ready,”

Namjoon started pounding into him & Jin buried his face in the bed to muffle his moans. He pushed his ass back onto Namjoon’s cock as he pounded into him. They hadn’t gone at each other this hard in years. Maybe it was nostalgia that got them hot & bothered. Not only had they settled into a routine in their relationship, but also in their professional lives. They’d forgotten what it was like to be young & ambitious, but anxious as hell at the same time. Now that they were nurturing the next generation, they remembered what it was like when they were young. When they got the mirrors sweaty. When they fucked each other until they were sore. When they took every chance they could to sneak away & be with each other however they could. Now they were fucking each other like they had in the beginning, trying to muffle moans & swallow groans of raw pleasure.

“I fucking love you,” Namjoon breathed.

“I love you, too,” Jin panted.

“Come for me,” he thrust into him & Jin buried his face in the bed, bordering on suffocating himself to muffle his screams. He bucked his hips against Namjoon’s crotch. Namjoon decided not to wait & let himself go before Jin was finished. He settled for heavy breathing through his mouth to stay quiet. Jin picked up his head when he finished trying desperately to catch his breath. Namjoon flopped down next to him & helped get him out of the cuffs.

“Did I make good on my promise?” he asked.

“You did,” Jin kissed him.

“Good,”

“I will definitely be sore tomorrow,”

“Me too,”

“Good night, Kim Namjoon,”

“Good night, Kim Seokjin,”

**May 13, 2019**   
**11:30am**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Jac walked in wearing her translator costume.

“These them?” she looked at Namjoon.

“None other,” he replied.

“Is this your sister?” Kai asked.

“I see my reputation precedes me,” she grinned. “I’m Jac, translator turned sister & I will be your interview coach.”

Hobi snickered. Yoongi huffed.

“Three of you speak English?” she asked in English. Kai, Beomgyu, & Taehyun nodded. She looked at Soobin & Yeonjun. “Can you at least understand me?” They nodded.

“Which one of you is the leader?” Soobin raised his hand. She looked at Namjoon. “The leader doesn’t speak English?”

“I don’t make the rules,” he shrugged. She heaved a sigh.

“The day I understand these decisions is the day I drop dead,”

Kookie & Tae had set up three chairs & two stools.

“How do you sit?” she asked them.

“In the chair…?” Beomgyu ventured.

“What order? If I told you to sit with no instructions, what order should you sit in?”

Five blank looks.

“ _Mon Dieu_ ,” she put her head in her hands. She heard the boys snickering behind her. She turned around. “You knuckleheads weren’t much better.”

“Sorry,” Hobi said.

“Thought so,” she turned her attention back to the younger ones. “In a Korean speaking country, the leader sits closest to the interviewer. Then you’re able to pass questions off to the other four. In an English speaking country, you’ll sit in the middle. Who’s the oldest who speaks English?” Beomgyu raised his hand. “Then you’ll sit closest to the interviewer. Actually just make my life easier & line up according to age.”

Yeonjun, Soobin, Beomgyu, Taehyun, & Kai got in line like they were being inspected by a drill sergeant. It wasn’t far from the truth.

“Yeonjun,” he said.

“I think we’re going to end up with a Jun & Joon,” she said. Namjoon shrugged. Yeonjun gave her a look, but didn’t say anything.

“Soobin,”

Jac nodded placidly.

“Beomgyu,”

“Bo,” she said.

“What?” he asked.

“I’m not going to trip over that name every time I need to get your attention,” she said.

“Uh okay,” he said.

“You don’t have a choice, dude,” Hobi called from the corner.

“Taehyun,”

“Really? Because it’s not like we don’t already have a Taehyung,” she said. “TH.”

“Okay,” he said realizing it was futile to argue. Jac stopped & looked up at Kai.

“Kai,” he said.

“You’re the _maknae_?”

“Yes,”

“How old are you?”

“Sixteen,”

“What have they been feeding you?”

“My dad’s American,” he replied.

“So’s mine,” she said. She patted him on the chest. “This one’s gonna be a big’un someday.” He blushed again.

“I told him you’d break him of that habit,” Kookie said.

“That I can do,” she grinned. Kai looked mildly terrified.

Jac managed to get them sitting in the correct order & took her spot next to Soobin as the interviewer.

“Introductions are important. Like a first impression, they set the tone for the interview & give insight into your personalities,” she said. “None of you have stage names?” They all shook their heads.

“Kookie, Hobi, would you be so kind as to give them a demonstration of your introductions?”

Hobi plastered on his cheesiest grin.

“I’m your hope. You’re my hope. I’m JHope,”

Kookie gave a well practiced smile & wave.

“I’m Jungkook,”

“Which one are we supposed to do?” Taehyun asked.

“I don’t recommend Hobi’s approach. Or Jin’s,”

“It’s not my fault I’m Worldwide Handsome,” he said.

“Or that you have no friends,” she retorted.

“Thank you for bringing that up again,”

“Anytime,” she smiled. “Things you say in interviews can & will come back to haunt you. Like your hyung saying he had no friends & almost getting his ass beat by the _maknae_ line.”

“We’re family,” Jin insisted.

“Unfortunately we are,” she turned her attention back to the younger ones. “Introductions should be short & to the point. Enunciate & speak up. Don’t mumble like Yoongi does. You’ll have mics, but don’t expect those to do the work for you.”

“Should we be taking notes?” Soobin asked.

“If you want, but this will be drilled into your pretty little heads well before you’re expected to participate in an interview,” she replied. “Now let’s get started.”

**7:25pm**

“So what do you think of them?” Yoongi asked Jac when they got home.

“They’re cute,” she said. She’d stuck around & watched the afternoon rehearsal.

“Just cute?”

“I think they have a lot of potential. Someday they might even be better than you,” she said as she changed out of her nice clothes & into sweats.

“No one will ever be better than me,” Yoongi said.

“Of course they won’t,” she pinched his nose. “But they’re pretty good now.”

“They are,” Yoongi agreed.

“What?”

“What do you mean what?”

“I know that tone. You’re holding something back,” she said. Then they heard a scratching at the door. Jac went over & opened it. Peanut came hopping in & sat down in front of Yoongi.

“Hi Nut,” he said.

“I think she wants to be picked up,” Jac told him. Yoongi hesitantly leaned over & picked her up. She snuggled into his armpit & started purring.

“You appear to have charmed the only 2 ladies in the house,” she laughed.

“Whatever,” he said.


	20. Mid / Late May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background music (if you’re so inclined):  
> “Pied Piper” BTS  
> “Blue Orangeade” TXT  
> “Body Movin’” Beastie Boys  
> “Dream On” Aerosmith

**May 16, 2019**  
**8:10am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“We’re going to try something different today,” Namjoon announced.

“Uh oh,” Bo said.

“It’s not bad,” he said.

“We’re going to stretch your choreographic legs,” Hobi said.

“What does that mean?” Soobin asked.

“We’re going to teach you one of our routines & see how you do,” Hobi said.

“But we’re not ready for that! We’ve barely got our own down!” Kai insisted.

“You’re not being graded. It’s just to push you a little. We won’t get upset if you mess up, right?” Jimin said. The others nodded.

“Which one is it?” TH asked carefully.

“Run. It’s a challenge, but not completely out of your reach,” Hobi said.

“It’s not like we’re tossing you into Idol,” Tae added.

“Let’s try,” Soobin looked at the others. They nodded.

 

“Don’t hop, you’re just switching your feet. Keep them low to the ground. Watch,”

“Shrug, then roll your shoulders. There you go!”

“Other left, Bo!”

“Other right, Kai!”

 

“I’m not sure I like this game,” TH huffed after they’d been working for almost 2 hours.

“You’re better than you think,” Jimin said.

“That’s because Hobi’s being nice,” Yoongi said.

“I’m always nice,” Hobi said.

“Of course you are,” Jin glared at him.

“Children,” Namjoon said. “Go take a break & we’ll start working on your performance.”

“Thank you,” they said & went to go get water.

“You looked good trying to help them. Is your ankle feeling better?” Hobi asked Jimin.

“It’ll be sore later, but I feel okay now,” he replied.

“Good,” Hobi grinned.

“I want to ask about the tour, but I’m afraid they’ll say I’m not ready still,” Jimin said.

“Have you talked to the physical therapist?”

“Not really,”

“Talk to her. Then maybe she can talk to them about it,” Hobi replied.

“I will,” Jimin said.

“Promise?”

“I promise,”

“Good,” Hobi kissed him. “I love you, Jiminie.”

“I love you too, Hobi- _hyung_ ,”

**7:48pm**

“Hi,” Tae said awkwardly.

“Hi,” Jimin replied.

“Been a while,” Tae said.

“Yeah,” Jimin agreed.

“Why do I feel like this is a really awkward first date?” Tae laughed a little.

“Well the last time we were together was over two months ago & I basically told you to get off me in the middle of making out,” Jimin said.

“I guess so,” Tae replied.

“I didn’t mean to freak out like that. I guess I just panicked when I realized what I’d done to everyone,” he said. Tae took Jimin’s hand.

“It’s okay. It’s better now,” he said. “You’re better now.”

“I’m working on it,” Jimin smiled a little. Tae took Jimin’s other hand & kissed him softly. He led Jimin to the bed & pulled him down on top of him. Tae grazed his fingers under Jimin’s shirt causing Jimin to kiss him more intensely. He heard Jimin’s breath deepen as he ran his hands down Tae’s thighs.

“You remember now?” Tae whispered.

“Yeah,” Jimin replied.

“Do you still want it?”

“Yeah,”

“Good,” Tae pulled off Jimin’s shirt & ran his hands over his chest. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

“Thank you,” Jimin sat up & slowly unbuttoned Tae’s shirt. He made sure to brush his fingertips over Tae’s chest with each button. Tae held on to Jimin’s hips as he took his time with his shirt.

“You’re such a goddamn tease,” Tae said.

“You love it,” Jimin smiled, trailing his finger right above Tae’s navel. He moved down to the next button.

“I love you,” Tae replied.

“I love you too,” Jimin said as he unbuttoned the last button & pushed Tae’s shirt open. He leaned down & kissed his collarbone, drawing a tiny circle with his tongue before kissing about an inch lower. Jimin felt Tae’s chest start to move more quickly under his mouth. He kissed right next to one of Tae’s nipples. Tae reached down & grabbed Jimin’s hair.

“Now what are you doing?”

“I want you nice & anxious before you fuck me. Enjoy it,” Jimin grinned. Tae didn’t let go of Jimin’s hair as he kept kissing his way down his torso. When he got to his hips, Jimin pulled his shorts & underwear down. Tae was so hard it was throbbing. Jimin kissed on one side of his cock, then the other. He made sure his cheek rubbed against it when he kissed him.

“Oh fuck,” Tae gasped. Jimin slid back up Tae’s body & kissed him.

“Anxious yet?”

“I think my dick might explode,” Tae replied.

“Then how about you fuck me & let it,” Jimin pressed his lips to Tae’s ear.

“I hope you don’t mind a quickie,” Tae kissed him as Jimin rolled off of him.

“Would I have teased you that much if I did?” Jimin smiled.

“Show me that ass,” Tae reached over to the bedside table while Jimin got out of his pants. He rolled over & got on his hands & knees. Tae slid into him. They both moaned.

“Jesus, I forgot how good this felt,” Tae breathed.

“Me too,” Jimin replied. Tae ran his hands up Jimin’s sides, over his shoulders, & down his chest. He was careful to avoid his cock as he ran his hands over hips & down his thighs. Jimin dropped his head & started to breathe heavily.

“I can tease you too, beautiful,” Tae said.

“Yes you can,” Jimin tried to catch his breath. Tae rested his hands on Jimin’s waist & thrust into him.

“Fuck,” Jimin grunted. Tae thrust into him again & they both grunted.

“Just fuck me,” Jimin pushed his ass back onto Tae’s cock.

“Of course,” Tae replied. He started pounding Jimin & they both squirmed & moaned against each other. Jimin grabbed the sheets until his knuckles were almost white & Tae was digging his fingers into Jimin’s waist.

“I’m close,” Tae gasped.

“Me too,” Jimin panted. “Finish us.”

Tae leaned over on Jimin’s back & wrapped his arms around his chest. He stopped moving for a moment.

“Ready?”

Jimin nodded. Tae gave one hard thrust & they both came. Jimin almost hit Tae in the face when he threw his head back. Tae tried to bury his face in Jimin’s shoulders. They bucked & thrust against each other. It had been a long time since they’d been together & they’d forgotten what it felt like when they came with each other. It came from a deeper, more carnal place. Jimin looked over at Tae & smiled once they’d finished & parted.

“I forgot how intense this was,”

“Me too,” Tae reached over & brushed his fingers against Jimin’s cheek. “You going back to Hobi tonight?”

“I told him to stay with Kookie. You’ve got me all night,” Jimin replied.

“Good,” Tae grinned.

“You’re welcome,” Jimin kissed him. Jimin rolled over on his back & Tae cuddled up against him with his head on his chest.

“I might wake you up for another round later,” he said.

“I know,” Jimin ruffled his hair.

“Good,” Tae said, closed his eyes, & listened to Jimin’s heartbeat.

**8pm**

“So you get me all to yourself tonight,” Hobi said, putting his arms around Kookie’s waist.

“Oh really?” Kookie rested his arms on Hobi’s shoulders.

“Jimin wanted to spend the night with Tae so you get to spend the night with me,” Hobi told him.

“Remind me to thank Jimin later,” Kookie kissed him.

“I can thank him for you,” Hobi pulled Kookie closer to him.

“Or that,” Kookie grinned, kissing Hobi’s neck. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Though Hobi found the words sticking in his throat a little as he said them. “What do you want to do tonight?”

“Well my legs are tired from going over the choreography with the little ones all day,” Kookie said.

“So lying in bed…” Hobi said.

“I want to feel you, Hobi. Every inch of you. I want to feel your skin on mine. I want to feel your breath on my lips. I want to feel your hands all over me. Then I want to suck your cock. I want to feel you squirm under me. I want you to order me to finish you after I’ve made you moan until you can’t stand it anymore. I want you to hold my head down as you pound into my mouth. I want to suck you dry. Then I want to kiss you until my lips hurt. That’s what I want to do tonight,” Kookie replied. He’d wrapped his fingers around the back of Hobi’s neck & had put his lips just a tiny bit away from his ear. Hobi had unconsciously tightened his grip on Kookie’s waist. His breathing was shallow & short.

_Where the fuck had he learned to talk like that?_

“Take off your clothes & get on the bed,” Hobi breathed.

“Yes _hyung_ ,” Kookie replied, slowly backing away from Hobi. He slowly pulled off his shirt & tossed it across the room. He watched Hobi as he pushed down his pants & underwear, then kicked them off. He sat on the bed & slid himself up toward the head. His cock was hard & pulsing. Kookie put his arms behind his head. “Your _maknae_ is ready for you.”

 _Fuck_. It was going to take everything Hobi had not to turn him over & fuck him senseless. Hobi took off his clothes & practically pounced on Kookie. He ground his cock against Kookie’s hip bone as he kissed him hungrily. Kookie ran his hands down Hobi’s back to his ass & squeezed it. Hobi grunted.

“ _Hyung_?” Kookie asked.

“Good _maknae_ ,” Hobi replied as he moved to Kookie’s neck. Kookie moved his chin up & Hobi licked up the front of his throat. Kookie bucked his hips.

“Did my _maknae_ miss that?”

“Yes _hyung_ ,” Kookie breathed. Hobi grazed his teeth across the side of Kookie’s neck. He felt him shiver.

“Do I bite you or would that traumatize the children too much when they see the mark?” Hobi breathed on Kookie’s neck.

“We can’t traumatize the children yet,” Kookie arched his back & weaved his fingers in Hobi’s hair.

“Yet,” Hobi grinned. Kookie smiled back & kissed him fiercely.

“Ready for me to suck you dry yet?” he hissed.

“Don’t forget a towel,” Hobi replied.

“Never,”

Hobi sat up against the wall & Kookie positioned himself between Hobi’s legs on top of the towel. Kookie took all of Hobi in his mouth. He licked up the shaft in quick, short flicks. Hobi squirmed under him. Kookie used all of his tongue & focused on the bump below the tip. Hobi moaned & grabbed Kookie’s hair.

“Keep doing that, maknae,” he groaned. “I want to come quick.”

Kookie grazed his fingers on the inside of Hobi’s thighs as he focused on the same spot. Hobi moaned louder. Kookie felt himself get closer. Ever since he discovered he could come while giving a blow job, he was more than happy to suck his partners’ cocks. He ground his hips into the bed as he licked Hobi more aggressively. Hobi flexed his hands & pulled on Kookie’s hair. Kookie felt Hobi twitch in his mouth, then he felt himself twitch. He put his hands on Hobi’s thighs & licked as fast as he could. Kookie wrapped his lips over his teeth & lightly bit down. Hobi thrust into Kookie’s mouth as he came. A few seconds after he started, Kookie came. He ground his hips against the bed while he tried to focus on taking all of Hobi. When Hobi finished, Kookie sat up & wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He wrapped up the towel & pulled himself up to Hobi’s mouth between his legs.

“Hello _hyung_ ,” he grinned.

“Hello _maknae_ ,” Hobi replied.

“Kiss me?”

“Always,”

They kissed each other, as Kookie predicted, until their lips hurt & they couldn’t stay awake anymore.

**May 18, 2019**  
**10:30am**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Tae & Kookie had been designated to help them go over the choreography for the morning session. Tae wasn’t as flexible as Kookie & had a different quality of movement because of it. Namjoon had thought it would benefit them to see the 2 different styles & how they could work together.

“Now the movements need to be sharp, but look at the difference in how we move,” Tae said as they went over a count of 8. He noticed that Jun was staring at him. In more than just a willing student way.

“Let’s take a quick water break,” he said. As Jun walked past him, he let the back of his hand brush against Tae’s. Tae looked up at him, but Jun had turned his head too quickly for Tae to see the look on his face.

_What the hell is going on?_

**3:17pm**

“I need a quick break,” Jun said, wiping the sweat off his face with his shirt.

“You feeling okay?” Tae asked.

“Yeah, I just need a minute,” he replied

“I’ll come with you just in case,” Tae said.

“Thanks,” Jun wiped his face again as they walked into the hall.

“I know a good place to take a break,” Tae said. He opened the door to the storage closet & flicked on the light. “Cool off for a minute in here.”

“This isn’t a place to cool off, is it?” Jun asked.

“The opposite usually happens in here,” Tae replied. Jun stepped closer to Tae & put his hand on his hip.

“Is that why you brought me in here?”

“I brought you in here because you’ve been flirting with me all day & I’m curious about your intentions,” Tae told him.

“My intentions?”

“What do you want, _hubae_?” Tae leaned his head closer so his breath tickled Jun’s lips.

“You, _sunbae_. I want you,” he replied.

“That could be arranged,”

“How?” Tae could feel Jun’s pulse increasing against his chest.

“I’ll think of something. Right now you have to be patient,” Tae played with the hem of Jun’s shirt. “Can you do that for your sunbae?”

“Yes,” Jun nodded vigorously.

“Then we need to get back before they get suspicious,” Tae said. “No more flirting the rest of the day.”

“Yes _sunbae_ ,”

“Good _hubae_ ,”

**5:30pm**

Jac registered the thunder of the boys coming home, but realized it sounded louder than usual. Peanut had been sitting on her lap & she got up & darted down the hall. Twelve of them came up the stairs instead of 7 of them.

“I thought we could all go out to dinner,” Namjoon said. “As a family.”

“And where exactly can accommodate 13 people on no notice?” she asked.

“Our favorite noodle place,” Jimin said. “Who doesn’t like noodles?”

“Fair enough. Everybody get changed & we’ll go. You all stink,” she got up. They not so subtly sniffed themselves. She rolled her eyes.

“Boys,”

**7:18pm**

Jun slid his hand onto Tae’s thigh. Tae looked at him out of the corner of his eye, then moved his hand on top of Jun’s. Jun turned his hand over & brushed Tae’s palm with his index finger.

 _Later_ \- Tae spelled out against Jun’s palm. Tae moved his hand back on the table while Jun kept his on Tae’s thigh. He’d inched it closer to Tae’s crotch. Tae went back to looking interested in whatever story Jac was telling at maximum volume. The others were laughing, so he joined in. Jun leaned over to Tae.

“When’s later?” he whispered.

“When I can figure out how to get you alone,” Tae replied. “Be patient, _hubae_.”

“Yes _sunbae_ ,” he said.

Tae put his hand on Kookie’s back.

“I’m going to the bathroom,”

“Okay,” Kookie replied only half paying attention. Tae got up & gave Jun a subtle nod. By the time he was washing his hands, Jun came in.

“Isn’t this a little public?” he asked.

“How about this?” Tae pulled him into one of the stalls. “Better?” Jun nodded.

Their mouths crashed into each other as Tae pinned Jun to the wall with his hips. Tae tangled his fingers in Jun’s hair as Jun put his hands up the back of Tae’s shirt.

“I’ve wanted this for so long. I’ve wanted you for so long,” Jun gasped between kisses.

“I know,” Tae replied. He reached down between them & unzipped Jun’s pants. “I’ve seen how you look at me in rehearsal. I can feel your eyes on me.” He ran his hand slowly over Jun’s crotch. “Your _sunbae_ can show you a lot of things. You just have to be willing to ask, _hubae_.”

“What do you want me to know?” Jun asked.

“I want you to know how good your _sunbae_ can make you feel,” Tae slid his hand into Jun’s underwear & ran a finger down his cock. “I want you to know that you can want your sunbae even more than you do right now.”

Jun put his hand on the back of Tae’s neck to steady himself while Tae lightly stroked his cock.

“Are you going to do it right now?” he asked.

“I’m going to make you wait for it. It’s always better if you have to wait for it,” Tae smiled. He took his hand out of Jun’s underwear & redid his pants.

“Then when?”

“Patience, _hubae_ ,” Tae kissed him. “You’ll get what you want.”

“I’ll have to go back to our dorm. I can’t stay at yours. Everyone would notice,” Jun started.

“Don’t worry that pretty little head of yours,” Tae ran his hand up Jun’s back. He kissed his neck & he felt Jun shiver. “Time to get back before they realize how long we’ve been gone.”

**10:08pm**

Tae caught up with Jac as they were leaving.

“Can you drop me off at your place tonight?”

“Did you & Kookie have a fight or something?”

“No, I just need a little...private time,” he said. Jac gave him a knowing look.

“So, you & Jun. And to think Jimin used to be the slut,”

“I want to help him. Is that so bad?”

“Not at all,” she replied.

“Then why are you bugging me about it?” he asked.

“I just want you to be careful. He’s young, he’s vulnerable, & he might get the wrong impression about his potential relationship with you. That’s all I’m saying,” she told him.

“I don’t know what my relationship is with him,” Tae admitted.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s had a crush on me for years, but I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t want to hurt him, but Kookie & I are gonna get married someday. I’m already fucking a married guy. Kookie’s fucking a married guy. You’re right. I don’t want to be the slutty one,” Tae’s shoulders slumped.

“What do you want him to be?”

“I dunno. I just want him to have a better experience in the beginning than I did,”

“Was yours that bad?” Jac looked concerned.

“I mean it wasn’t horrible, but when you lose your virginity in a BDSM session, it sets a bit of a skewed view of what sex is supposed to be. I don’t want that for him. Unless he wants it,” Tae told her.

“I was only teasing you about the slut thing,” she patted his arm.

“I know,”

“I’m sure you’ll be a very good teacher,”

“I hope so,”

“I’ll drop you two off & cover for you to the best of my abilities,” she replied.

“Thanks Jac,” he replied.

“What good are big sisters if they don’t lie for their little brothers from time to time,” she hugged him.

**11pm**

“If Jac has her own apartment, why does she live with you?” Jun asked when they got inside.

“It’s complicated,” Tae replied. “You want a drink?”

“Water’s fine,”

“I meant the alcoholic kind,” Tae pulled a bottle of wine out of the fridge.

“Oh, um, I’ve never drank before,” Jun said.

“And I’m supposed to be shocked by this?” Tae grinned as he opened it & poured some in a cup. “Just try it. If you don’t like it, I can finish the rest of the bottle myself.”

Jun took it & took a tiny sip.

“Not bad,” he said.

“You want more?”

“Sure,”

Tae filled up his cup, then poured one for himself. Tae led Jun over to the couch & they sat.

“So we have the entire apartment to ourselves until Jac comes to pick us up tomorrow. How would you like to spend it?” Tae asked.

“I…” he started.

“Yes?”

“I don’t want to sound silly,” he said.

“Say what you want to say. You won’t sound silly,” Tae told him.

“I’ve wanted you so badly for so long & now that I have the chance to do something with you, I have no idea what to do,” Jun replied.

“Then let me help you get started,” Tae put down his drink & straddled Jun. He kissed him passionately as he slid his fingers down the back of his pants. Jun kissed him back circling his arms around Tae’s hips. Tae ground his hips into Jun’s lap.

“How does that make you feel?” Tae breathed in his ear.

“Really good,” Jun replied.

“Good,”

“What were you going to do to me in the bathroom?” Jun whispered.

“Tease you. Why, did you want more?” Tae asked.

“Yes,”

“Tell me what you want, _hubae_ ,”

“Well...um...I…”

“It’s okay. You can tell me,” Tae put his hand on Jun’s cheek.

“I’ve fantasized about having sex with you for a long time, but I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. I know you’re with Kookie, too & I don’t know if that would be okay,” he told him.

“Do you want me to take off your pants? Do you want me to play with your cock? There’s plenty I can do that isn’t having sex,” Tae replied. He felt Jun’s pulse increase in his chest.

“What’s close to sex, but...not?” he asked.

“I know just the thing, but you’re going to have to relax. A lot,” Tae told him.

“Okay,” Jun nodded.

“First of all, we have too many clothes on,” Tae kissed him again. “But we can fix that in the bedroom.”

He got off Jun’s lap & led him to the bedroom. They stood at the foot of the bed. Tae watched Jun’s pulse increase in his neck.

“Kiss me like you did earlier in the bathroom. Don’t hold back,” Tae told him. “I can take it.”

“You promise?”

“I promise,”

“Okay,” Jun took a deep breath, then pushed Tae onto the bed. He climbed on top of him & aggressively kissed him. He shoved his hands up Tae’s shirt & Tae’s hands were between them undoing Jun’s pants. Jun pulled off Tae’s shirt & ran his hands down Tae’s arms. Tae tugged at Jun’s shirt & threw it off to the side.

“How bad do you want me, _hubae_? Tell me,” Tae said.

“I’ve thought about having sex with you almost since the first day. I wondered what it would feel like to have you inside me. I...want you…,”

Jun started to get nervous again.

“I’ll teach you how to talk dirty. Don’t worry,” Tae smiled up at him.

“How do you do that?” Jun asked. Tae took the back of Jun’s neck & pulled his ear next to his lips.

“Once I get you out of those pants, I’m going to finger fuck you. I’ll have your dick between my legs so you can’t move. You’ll be completely at my mercy. You won’t know you can feel that good. I won’t make you wait to come because it’s your first time. Next time though, I’ll make you beg. Then when I finally do get my cock in your ass, you’ll fantasize about it for days. Nothing will feel as good as me fucking you because I know how to do it right. Only your _sunbae_ can satisfy you because that’s how I want it to be,”

Jun had started to sweat & his chest was heaving.

“That’s how you talk dirty,” Tae replied.

“Are you really going to...do all that?” Jun asked.

“Well you’re definitely getting finger fucked. The rest is up to you,” Tae slid his hand down the back of Jun’s pants. “Time to take these off.”

“Yes _sunbae_ ,” Jun got off Tae & fumbled getting his pants & underwear off while Tae flicked his off without thinking.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Tae told him.

“I do. I do want to. I promise,” Jun replied.

“Then get back on top of me,” Tae said. Tae grappled for a box of condoms & lube in the bedside table. He lied on his back & motioned for Jun to get on top of him. He carefully moved Jun’s dick between his legs & moved his in between Jun’s legs.

“I’m going to need you to really, really relax,” Tae told him. Jun nodded. Tae rolled the condom on his index & middle fingers & opted to put the lube on his fingers instead. The last thing he needed was Jun getting tense again.

“I promise this is gonna feel good, okay?”

“Okay,” Jun breathed. Tae immediately met with resistance.

“Breathe out,”

Jun did as he was told & Tae slid his fingers into him. He held his hand there to let Jun get used to the feeling of something inside him.

“Keep breathing, _hubae_. Your _sunbae_ will take care of you,” Tae told him. He felt Jun relax a little. “Tell me again how much you want me.”

“I’ve wanted you almost since the day I met you. I wanted you to kiss me. I wanted you to touch me. I wanted to know what that felt like. I wanted to know what your body felt like,” Jun breathed.

“Kiss me,” Tae whispered. Jun kissed him, unconsciously relaxing & letting Tae move his fingers a little. Tae carefully moved his fingers in the “come here” motion. Jun gasped.

“Okay?” Tae asked.

“Yes. Do it again,” he buried his face in Tae’s neck & dug his fingers into Tae’s biceps.

“Are you going to stay relaxed for your _sunbae_?” Tae moved his fingers again. He brushed the fingers of his free hand up Jun’s back. He rested his hand on the back of Jun’s head as he slowly massaged his prostate.

“Oh god,” Jun dug his fingers into Tae’s arms harder.

“You like that?”

“Yes _sunbae_ ,” he panted into Tae’s neck. He started to squirm against Tae’s fingers.

“Be still, _hubae_. You’ll enjoy it more,” Jun nodded into Tae’s neck. Tae kept going in small movements. He could feel Jun trying to hold still. His dick was twitching between Tae’s legs.

“I’m close,” Jun gasped.

“Are you going to come for your _sunbae_?”

“Yes,” he breathed.

“Then come for me, _hubae_. Come for your _sunbae_ ,” Tae said in his ear as he slightly increased the pressure against Jun’s prostate.

“Oh god,” Jun clawed at Tae’s arms & pounded into his thighs as he came. He writhed against him as he moaned. Tae kept his fingers inside him as he came. Jun’s breath was hot & ragged on Tae’s neck. He let go of Tae’s arms & rested his head on Tae’s shoulder when he finished. Tae slowly pulled his fingers out & removed the condom. He hugged the sweaty & heaving younger on top of him.

“Good?”

“Uh huh,” was all Jun could manage. Tae smiled.

“Perfect,” Tae kissed the top of Jun’s head. As he held him, Tae felt something he’d never felt before when he’d been with someone. With Hobi, he’d always been the Sub & the student. With Jimin, it was firecrackers of raw desire. With Kookie, it was a deep, comforting love that withstood far too many tests. He wanted to protect Jun. He wanted to make him his. He wanted to shield him from all the pain & heartbreak he had endured over the past year. If no one could get to him, then no one could hurt him. Tae knew what that meant for his love life. Yet he was determined to keep this innocent, bright eyed boy the way he was for as long as he could.

“You asleep down there?” he asked.

“Still recovering,” Jun yawned.

“Roll over,” Tae told him. Jun rolled on his side & Tae cuddled up behind him.

“Good sort of first time?” Tae asked as he ran his hand through Jun’s hair.

“Yeah,”

“What you thought it would be?”

“Better,”  
“I must’ve really worn you out,” Tae laughed.

“You did,” he could hear the smile in Jun’s voice.

“So we should do this again sometime?”

“Yes please,”

“I think you need some sleep first, though,” Tae said.

“Okay,” Jun yawned.

“Good night, Jun,”

“Good night, Tae,”

**May 21, 2019**  
**3:27pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“Now I can show you how this room is supposed to be used,” Tae grinned when Namjoon let them take a break. He took Jun back to the storage closet & slammed the door behind them.

“How do we use this room?” Jun asked in between kisses.

“You’re about to get your cock sucked,” Tae grinned.

“Seriously?” he pulled back & looked at Tae.

“Do you not want me to?” he asked.

“I do...what if someone walks in on us?”

“Trust me they won’t,” Tae reached his hand down Jun’s shorts & started massaging his cock. Jun groaned. “So you up for it?”

“Yes,” he breathed.

“You might want to hang on to the edge of the sink,” Tae winked as he got on his knees & pulled Jun’s shorts & underwear down. He slowly took Jun in his mouth & worked his lips all the way to the base.

“Oh my god,” Jun moaned. Tae held on to Jun’s hips as he licked figure 8s back to the tip. He flicked the tip a few times with the tip of his tongue. He used his whole tongue to lick up the underside.

“How you doing?” he asked.

“I don’t think I can breathe,” Jun panted. Tae took him back in his mouth & focused on the bump. Jun almost lost his grip on the sink. Tae tightened his grip on Jun’s hips. He pulled his head back & lightly sucked on the tip.

“Oh god,” Jun gasped as he came. He didn’t thrust into Tae’s mouth nearly as hard as Kookie or Hobi did. Tae was actually surprised by how delicate it was. He was used to having his teeth rattled. He almost couldn’t tell when Jun finished. Tae pulled up his bottoms as he stood up. Jun curled up into him when Tae stood up.

“Did you enjoy it?” Tae asked, putting his hand on Jun’s back.

“Yes _sunbae_ ,” he breathed.

“You promise?”

“Yes,” he replied. “Can I spend time with you later?”

“I have some things to take care of tonight, but I’ll see what I can do for later this week, okay?”

“Okay,” Jun picked up his head & looked at Tae. Tae smiled softly at him.

“I promise I’ll find time for us,”

“Thank you, _sunbae_ ,” he smiled back. Tae kissed him.

“Of course. Now I think we need to get back to work,”

**7:36pm**

“J, you got a minute?” Tae caught up with him in the hall after dinner.

“Sure,” he said. They went into Tae & Kookie’s room & closed the door.

“I really don’t know any other way to say this, but I don’t think we should sleep together anymore,” Tae blurted out.

“I think you’re right,” Jimin replied.

“Really?”

“We’ve been drifting apart for a while & I enjoyed the last time we were together, I really want to devote my time to Hobi,” Jimin said.

“I also think my Sub days with Hobi are officially over, too,” Tae said.

“Probably for the best,” Jimin agreed.

“I still care about you. I’m not ending this because I don’t love you anymore,” Tae said. Jimin put his hand on Tae’s shoulder.

“I know. I know this is about Jun,” he said.

“Is it that obvious?”

“To those of us who know what to look for, it’s very obvious,” Jimin replied. “His brothers aren’t wise to it yet.”

“I don’t want him to go through what I went through & I can’t be sleeping with a married guy to accomplish that,” Tae said. Jimin hugged him.

“Stop trying to justify yourself to me. I understand completely. I know you still love me. I’m married to someone else. You’ll eventually marry someone else. You’re doing what you think is right for him. No one can fault you for that. I still love you & I’m still here for you if you need me. Okay?”

“Okay,” Tae hugged him back.

“Now go be the white knight for him. We all need one of those,” Jimin gave him a squeeze.

“Thanks, J,”

“Anytime,”

**May 24, 2019**  
**5:23pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

“We need to talk,” Kookie told Tae as he was packing an overnight bag.

“About?” Tae already knew the answer.

“Jun,”

“What about him?”

“You’re spending an awful lot of private time with him & haven’t suggested anything to me about expanding his horizons,” Kookie said.

“I’m trying to protect him, okay? I don’t want him to get mixed up in all this crap that we did. How many times did you let me down because you went to fuck Jimin or Hobi instead? How many times did I get back at you by fucking Jimin? I don’t want that for him. I want him to have what I didn’t get. Until he tells me he wants to try group sex, I’m not suggesting it,” Tae snapped. Kookie stood there & stared.

“Wow…”

“What?”

“I never knew you felt that strongly about our sex life,” Kookie replied.

“I feel strongly about his. Would you want what we have for Kai when he’s old enough?”

“No…”

“That’s my point. It’s not about me or us. It’s about him. Jimin & I broke up so I could give Jun what I think he deserves.We made a lot of mistakes that he doesn’t have to repeat. That’s all I want ,” Tae told him.

“Wait, what?” Kookie was stunned. “You & Jimin broke up? When?”

“Couple days ago. It needed to happen. Ever since that day in the studio, things have been a little weird between us. I still love him & he still loves me, but it was time to move on. He’s got Hobi & I’ve got you. Now I’ve got Jun, too. I don’t want you to think I’m keeping him from you, but he’s really sensitive. He needs a lot of patience & coaxing. I love you, Kookie, but you have no patience,” Tae told him. Kookie smiled a little.

“Guilty,”

“He might be up for it eventually, but right now he’s still learning. I don’t know if you remember those days, but they can be a little intimidating,” Tae said.

“I went from Jimin to Hobi, so it was a pretty steep learning curve,” Kookie smiled.

“Exactly,”

“Just don’t forget about me in the process,” Kookie hugged Tae’s waist.

“How could I forget the best partner I’ve ever had?” Tae kissed him.

“Never hurts to remind you,”

“Fair enough,”

“Go train him up then,”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Tae kissed him again.

“I love you, baby,” Kookie replied.

“I love you more, baby,”

**8:53pm**

“Well, we have the place to ourselves until I tell Jac to come pick us up tomorrow,” Tae said when they walked into the apartment. “We can do whatever you want.”

“Even if it’s just watch TV all night?” Jun said.

“Anything you want,” Tae kissed him.

“I don’t think I’m ready for sex yet,”

“That’s fine,”

“But I want to do something with you,”

“I’m listening,” Tae put his arms on Jun’s shoulders.

“I definitely don’t want any clothes on,” Jun said.

“A good first step,”

“I want your hands all over me,”

“Uh huh,”

“I want you to make me come,”

“And how do you propose I do that?” Tae put his lips next to Jun’s ear.

“There’s that thing you did before with your fingers,” he replied.

“There is, but there are also other things I can do to you,” Tae hooked a finger in Jun’s waistband & ran it back & forth across his stomach.

“Like what?” Jun breathed, easing his hands down toward Tae’s ass & resting his face in his neck.

“I can put your cock between my legs & then I can tell you a story. I can tell you what I’m going to do to you when you’re ready for me to fuck you. How does that sound?”

“That sounds good, _sunbae_ ,” Jun had his hands on Tae’s ass & breathed hard into his neck.

“Then take off your clothes,”

 

Tae got on top of Jun & put his cock between his legs. He situated his cock between Jun’s legs.

“What’s this part?” Jun asked.

“The part where we both enjoy it,” Tae told him. “Just do what feels right. Okay?” Jun nodded. Tae kissed him & ground his hips against Jun’s.

“Good,” Tae rested his elbows on Jun’s shoulders & Jun hugged Tae’s waist.

“When it’s finally time for me to fuck you, you’ll be begging me for it. You’ll be begging for my cock in your ass. I’ll give it to you. I thrust my cock hard into your tight, perfect ass because I know you want it rough. I know you’ve been fantasizing about what it would be like for me to be rough with you,” Tae hissed in his ear. Jun had started grinding his hips against Tae.

“I’ll start out teasing you. I’ll thrust into you, then I’ll wait. I’ll wait to watch you squirm. Then I’ll thrust into you again. I’ll keep going until I hear you start to whimper. Then that’s when I start to pound you. I don’t go fully, though. I have to hold something back for later,”  
Jun had started to sweat & breathe hard onto Tae’s neck. He was constantly grinding his dick between Tae’s legs.

“I’ll pull your head back & I’ll ask you if you’re ready to come,”

“I’m close, _sunbae_ ,” he panted.

“Not yet, _hubae_. You don’t come until your _sunbae_ tells you to,” Tae kissed Jun’s neck & ground his dick between his legs. Tae had never actually had dry sex. He’d only ever read about it. It was a lot more pleasurable than he anticipated. Especially when he was on top of an eager partner.

“Please _sunbae_ ,” Jun whimpered. Tae looked down at him.

“You can come,”

Jun grunted & moaned as he thrust against Tae’s legs. He held onto him tighter. Tae felt every muscle relax in Jun’s body when he finished.

“My turn,” he kissed Jun’s jaw. Tae braced his elbows against Jun’s shoulders as he ground his crotch against Jun’s legs. He imagined what it would be like to take him hard, to hear him whimper from pleasure, to hear him moan, to leave him in a sweaty, spent mess. That pushed Tae over the edge. He pounded against Jun’s thighs & wrapped his fingers in his hair. He cussed as he felt his dick rub against Jun’s skin. Tae kissed him hard when he finished.

“Will that be what it’s like when we really have sex?” Jun asked.

“Better,” Tae replied. Jun smiled.

Tae looked down at Jun & brushed his sweaty hair back. Jun rested his hands on the small of Tae’s back.

“I want to make you mine,” Tae said.

“What does that mean?” Jun asked.

“It means I want to be the only one you’re with,” Tae told him.

“Like my boyfriend?” Jun asked.

“Something like that,”

“But you’d stay with Kookie,”

Tae nodded.

“What if I want to be with someone else?” Jun asked.

“Then you can,” Tae replied.

“I don’t want to be with anyone else,” Jun whispered. “I only want you. I’ve only ever wanted you.”

“Then you can have me, Yeonjun. You can have every inch of me,” Tae whispered back. Jun kissed him deeply. Tae felt butterflies in his stomach for the first time in a long time when Jun kissed him.

“I’m yours, Taehyung. Make me yours,” his breath was warm on Tae’s face.

“I can certainly mark you while we’re recovering for a second round,” Tae kissed him. “Places that will be our little secret.”

“Our little secret?”

“Can’t have anything showing in any of your costumes, now can we?”

“No, we can’t,” Jun smiled. Tae kissed his way down to Jun’s collarbone. He lightly licked the spot in between his collarbones, then lightly sucked on his skin. Jun’s skin was still salty with sweat, but there was something more underneath it. Something sweet that Tae couldn’t quite place. He sucked harder & Jun moaned.

“You like?”

“Uh huh,”

Tae kissed to about 2 inches above his navel & started sucking again. Jun tangled his fingers in Tae’s hair. Tae ran his hands down Jun’s thighs as he licked his way down to right above his cock. He drew a circle with the tip of his tongue at the base. Jun slightly bucked his hips. Tae grinned & started sucking that spot. He watched as Jun’s breath got shallower. He felt him pull slightly on his hair. He licked around the base of Jun’s dick & over to just inside his hip bone. He sucked harder on that spot. He knew he could leave a stronger mark. No one would see it. No one but them. Jun started to whimper. Tae looked up & rested his chin on Jun’s lower torso.

“Am I doing something right, _hubae_? Is your _sunbae_ making you feel good?”

“Yes _sunbae_. Don’t stop,” he panted. Tae grinned. He licked his way around Jun’s cock & over to the other hip. He ran his hands down his thighs again as he sucked the same spot. Jun arched his back slightly. Tae slid his body back up Jun’s. Jun pulled Tae’s head down & kissed him passionately. He rolled them over so he was on top of Tae. He kept one hand on the back of Tae’s neck & ran the other one down his side. Tae held on to Jun’s hips as he kissed him.

“Take me,” Jun panted. “I’m ready.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Jun pushed his hips down into Tae’s as he kissed the crook of his neck.

“Then up on your hands & knees, _hubae_ ,”

“Yes _sunbae_ ,” Jun replied. Tae got the condoms & lube.

“Really, really relax. Even more than before,” Tae told him. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Okay,” Jun replied. He jumped when Tae used the lube.

“Breathe. Trust me, this is necessary,”

Jun nodded.

“Now breathe out when I tell you to,” Tae said. Jun nodded again. “Breathe out.” Tae slid into him as he exhaled. He was still really, really tight.

“You okay?”

“Just need a minute,” Jun replied.

“Of course,” Tae rubbed his back reassuringly. He felt Jun relax a little under his hand. “The first time might not feel very good.”

“I trust you,”

“We’ll save the pounding for later, how about that?” Tae kept rubbing his back.

“Sounds good,” Jun agreed. Tae felt him relax more. “I’m ready.”

“I’ll be gentle,” Tae told him. He slowly slid in & out of him. Jun started to breathe harder again. “Do you need me to stop?”

“I’ll be okay,” Jun told him. “Keep going.”

“Okay,” Tae leaned over & wrapped his arms around Jun’s chest. He rested his cheek between Jun’s shoulder blades. He carefully moved in & out of him again. This time he didn’t tense up as much.

“You feel better with me hugging you?” Tae asked.

“Uh huh,”

“Then we’ll stick with that,” Tae moved in & out of him again. He kept going at a steady rhythm hugging Jun’s chest. He could hear his heart pounding & his breath getting heavier. He could feel him start to sweat again on the side of his face.

“You still okay?”

“You can go a little harder,” Jun replied.

“You sure?”

“Yes,”

Tae sped up slightly & to his surprise Jun stayed relaxed. Or as relaxed as he had been anyway.

“That’s it. Just go with it. Feel me inside you,” Tae whispered. Jun moved slightly with him. Tae tried to match his movements & soon they were moving together.

“I’m close,” Jun breathed.

“Let yourself go, _hubae_ ,”

“Oh god,” Jun gasped as he came. Tae held onto him as he bucked slightly under him. He mostly breathed heavily & grunted. Tae kissed between his shoulders when he finished & lowered him down on the bed. He carefully pulled out & lied next to him.

“What about you?” Jun asked.

“I’m fine,” Tae smiled as he brushed back Jun’s hair. “This was about you.”

“Thank you,” he smiled. “I think I need a shower & a lot of sleep.”

“Want some company in the shower?” Tae asked.

“Of course,”

They got up & Tae held onto Jun to steady him. He would take care of this amazing boy. He had to.

**May 29, 2019**  
**9:15pm**  
**Seoul, Korea**

Tae’s phone went off. It was a text from Yoongi.

 _Mind if we talk?_  
Tae: _Be there in a minute._

Peanut was curled up on Yoongi’s lap purring & half asleep.

“What did you want to take about?” Tae asked.

“Jun,” Yoongi replied.

“Is everyone all up in my business?” Tae huffed.

“If it was worth breaking up with Jimin over then it has to mean something,” Yoongi said.

“What do you want me to say, Yoon? That I’m in love with him? That I’m going to run away with him? You're shit outta luck on that one,” Tae replied.

“Are you in love with him?”

“What the fuck, Yoongi? I just told you that I’m not,”

“No, you just told me that you weren’t going to say you were or that you were going to run away with him,” Yoongi replied.

“No, I’m not. I’m trying to give him a better start to his sex life than I had. Is that so wrong?”

“No,” Yoongi said.  
  
“Then stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong,” Tae snapped. Peanut jumped & Yoongi picked her up to cuddle her back to sleep.

“I just don’t want anyone to get hurt & things to get weird. We’re going to be stuck together for a while,” Yoongi said.

“So I should stop fucking Kookie then? Or Hobi should divorce Jimin? Or Namjoon should divorce Jin? We’ve all gotten hurt plenty of times & we’ve survived just fine. Don’t tell me what to do Yoongi. If I’m recalling correctly, you’re the one who ignored me & took an entire bottle of pills six months ago,”

Yoongi looked like Tae had punched him.

“Just don’t give him the wrong impression,”

“Of what? I’m not asking him to marry me. Jac has already told me the same thing. I don’t need both of you hopping on me about it,”

“Then maybe it’s worth considering,” Yoongi said.

“You know what? I’m done. You don’t know shit about what’s going on here or understand my motives at all. Stay the hell out of my business. If I want your advice, I’ll fucking ask for it,” Tae turned around & stalked out, slamming the door behind him. Tae was confident he was doing the right thing. He just wished everyone else could see it, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, this chapter isn't some of my best work. I've been adjusting to a new medication that makes me sleepy & brain foggy basically all the time. I hope you still enjoyed it. I'm doing my absolute best to keep up with my posting schedule because that's the type of person I am. Also, how are feeling about the TaeJun ship? All opinions welcome, obvs.
> 
> I also began posting the spin off to tide y'all over should I fall behind in posting this one. I've linked it to this story as part of a series even thought it's really a spin off. That one is for all my HopeKook shippers out there.


	21. Early June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Background Music (if you’re so inclined):**  
>  “Singularity” BTS (Tae’s Solo)  
> “Nap of a Star” TXT  
> “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems” Notorious B.I.G.  
> “99 Problems” Jay Z
> 
> (Extra credit to the readers who get the reference with the last 2 song choices)

**June 3, 2019**   
**8am**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Namjoon was the last one in the rehearsal room. The rest of them were stretching & milling around getting ready for the day.

“I have good news & I have bad news,” he told them.

“Bad news first,” Jimin said.

“We won’t be able to run BTS Bootcamp this week,” Namjoon said.

“But our debut is next week! We need you!” Soobin insisted.

“Because our tour to Japan has been officially rescheduled & we leave on the 15th. Boys, you’ll be coming with us for your first international experience,” Namjoon finished.

“What?” Bo said. “We’re going with you?”

“Can’t you help us at least a little?” TH asked.

“Yes, but your old & stiff big brothers need to get in their own rehearsal time over the next 2 weeks,” Namjoon explained. “I did outsource your coach for the week, though.”

Jac came walking in wearing workout clothes carrying a folder of notes presumably from Namjoon & Hobi.

“Miss me?” she asked.

“Oh boy,” Kai said.

“Don’t worry. I’m slightly nicer than Hobi in dance practice,” she smiled.

“Don’t scare them too much,” Jin said.

“No promises,”

The older ones left to go to a different studio down the hall & left Jac with the younger ones.

“Why’d they have to leave the week before our debut?” Jun sounded desperate.

“All this week is about is polishing everything up. You know this stuff. You know the songs. You know the choreography. You know the performance. All we’re doing is making it look the best it can possibly look,” she told them.

“So what do we do?” Kai asked.

“Run it until you can’t feel your legs,” she replied.

“Seriously?”

“No, because you’re no good if you can’t stand up,”

“So what are we actually doing?” Soobin asked.

“You’re going to run it with your eyes closed,” Jac replied.

“But we’ll just bang into each other,” Bo said.

“Not if you know your blocking. If you know your blocking, then you won’t hit each other. Jimin did an entire routine on national TV blindfolded,” she replied. “Hobi positioned him in the correct starting position & he went from there.”

“But he’s way better than us,” TH said.

“Correction, he has more experience. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t have the raw talent. You are more than capable of measuring up to your big brothers. You just need to practice,” she told them.

“Now get in your opening formation & we’re going to try this.”

They looked at each other anxiously.

“Move it. I don’t have all day & make sure your blocking is right before you start,” she shooed them to middle of the floor.

“You’re worse than Hobi,” Bo said.

“You’ll thank me later,” she said. She sat in a chair off to the side & cues up the music. “Eyes closed?”

“Yes,”

“And go,” she hit play. They did okay for the first thirty seconds or so then Kai bumped into Soobin during a transition.

“Stop,” Jac said. They all opened their eyes. “Again.”

“Again?” TH said.

“We’re gonna start from the beginning until you get the whole thing right,” she told them.

“Do you know how many backwards transitions we have?” Jun said.

“I’m well aware of the choreography & I’m confident you can do this,” she said. “Again.”

After three more attempts where they didn’t make it past a minute, they were frustrated & cranky.

“I want Hobi back,” Kai huffed.

“You need to stop thinking. You’re all way overthinking this. You aren’t trusting your bodies,” she told them.

“What do you mean?” Soobin asked.

“It’s called muscle memory. Your body knows how to do the movement without you thinking because of constant repetition. You’re messing up because you’re thinking too hard. If you just trust that you know it, then you can get through it. Having your eyes closed is testing your confidence in your training. That’s it,” she replied. “Try again & this time think about something else. Say the alphabet or make a list of countries you want to visit.”

“You’re serious?” Bo said.

“Absolutely,” Jac replied. “You know this. Trust yourselves. Trust your training. Trust your bodies.”

Okay,” Jun sighed.

“If you don’t start trusting yourselves, I’m going to make you start doing flexibility drills & trust falls,” she sat back down.

“We’ll get it,” Kai said. He was almost comically inflexible.

“If you get it right this time, I’ll take you on a field trip to see your big brothers practice,”

“So you threaten us then offer a reward?” Soobin raised an eyebrow.

“It’s worked with them so far. Figured it wouldn’t hurt to try,” she grinned. “No more dicking around. Get set.”

To their shock & delight, they got through the whole thing with their eyes closed (except lifting Soobin. Jac determined that was a safety hazard.)

“I told you!” she got up & hugged them.

“I don’t think I breathed for most of it,” Bo said.

“Me either,” TH agreed.

“Since I keep my promises, we’ll go bug your brothers,” she told them. Jac led them down the hall like a tiny duck & her overgrown ducklings.

**10:50am**

Hobi looked up when he heard a knock on the door. Jac poked her head in.

“I promised the babies they could see what your practice looked like if they completed the task I gave them,” she said.

“Sure,” Hobi wiped his face with his shirt. Jac waved them in. They filed in anxiously like they weren’t supposed to be in there.

“Sit,” she said. They sat against the wall facing their brothers. “Whatcha working on?”

“Fake Love,” Jimin stretched.

“I love that one. Watch & learn, little ones,” Jac sat down next to Bo. They were enthralled as they watched their older brothers move. TH audibly gasped when Jimin came back up out of the drop split.

“Is he supposed to lift his shirt?” Kai leaned over to Soobin. Soobin shrugged.

“The answer is yes,” Jac said even though they were the furthest away from her.

“How’d you do that?” Kai asked.

“Hush & watch,” she said.

When they finished, Jac clapped. The younger ones joined in.

“Your turn,” she said.

“What?” they said, looking at each other.

“Show them what we worked on today,” she told them.

“Do we have to do it with our eyes closed?” Soobin asked.

“You can do it with your eyes open,” she replied.

“You made them practice with their eyes closed?” Tae asked as they switched places.

“Their blocking is impeccable,” she said. “Places!” Jac turned on the music & the boys went through the routine. Jac was right. Their blocking was perfect & they moved with a lot more confidence. They looked expectantly at their brothers when they finished.

“Excellent!” Hobi clapped. The others joined in. The younger ones smiled at each other.

“I told you it was worth it,” Jac grinned.

“Break time, then back with your tiny drill sergeant,” Namjoon said.

“Oh goodie,” Kai huffed.

“You know you love me,” she hugged him & pinched his cheek. She was right. They did love her & they’d need her even if they didn’t want to admit it.

**June 5, 2019**   
**3:15pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Jun practically dragged Tae into the supply closet.

“I didn’t realize you were feeling frisky,” Tae said. Jun grabbed him into a hug.

“I’m scared,” Jun whispered into Tae’s shoulder.

“I know. I was scared before our debut, too,” Tae told him.

“What if I screw up & mess it up for everybody?”

“You won’t. You know this better than you think you do. I promise,” Tae hugged him tighter.

“I know Soobin is the leader, but I’m the hyung. I have to set a good example. I can’t panic, but I can’t seem to calm down,” Jun told him.

“And you’re a great hyung. They’re lucky to have you. You’re gonna do great,” Tae rubbed his back.

“Can you stay with me tonight?”

“I’ll see what I can do. I do have a boyfriend who needs attention, too,”

Jun sniffed & nodded. Tae felt a stab of guilt. He wanted to be there for Jun. He felt like he needed to be there for Jun. Kookie had spent a lot of nights alone lately. Tae had promised him that he wouldn’t forget about him in all of this.

“Let me talk to Kookie & see what he says, okay?”

“Okay,”

“I promise I’ll spend at least one night with you before your debut,” Tae kissed the side of Jun’s head.

“Thank you,”

“Of course,”

**7:10pm**

“Jun asked me to spend the night with him tonight & I told him that I’d ask you first,” Tae said.

“What makes tonight so special?” Kookie asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t asked me any other time,”

“I guess I don’t want you to feel like I’m ignoring you. I told you I wouldn’t & I feel like I am. Like it’s Jimin all over again,” Tae told him.

“Baby, I was mad at first. I admit that. I do wish that you’d asked me. I see the way he looks at you, though. He needs you way more than I do right now. I still share a bed with you. I still love you. I assume you still love me. We’ll be okay,” Kookie told him. “And I’m getting plenty of ass from Hobi.”

“How does Jimin feel about that?”

“He & Yoongi argue over custody of Peanut. I think Yoongi is winning right now,”

Tae laughed.

“I feel like the pussy jokes are writing themselves,”

“Oh they are. Trust me, they are,” Kookie grinned. Kookie got up off the bed & kissed Tae. “Go be with the little one. He needs you.”

“Thanks, baby,”

“I love you,”

“I love you too,” Tae smiled.

**9:08pm**

Tae handed Jun a glass of wine & they settled on the couch in Jac’s apartment. Tae had stretched out on the couch & Jun was resting between his legs with his back on Tae’s chest. Tae idly ran his hand through Jun’s hair.

“You feeling any better?” he asked.

“Not really,” Jun swirled the liquid around in his glass.

“I don’t know if you’ve ever seen footage of our debut, but there was a part where I was wearing glasses & they were supposed to come off during part of the song. It didn’t work in the live performance. I felt awful afterward. It wasn’t my fault, it turned out that the prop was faulty. I still felt bad. That’s ignoring the fact entirely that we looked completely ridiculous,” Tae told him.

“Like how?”

“You’ve really never watched your big brothers when we first started? Big Hit’s ace trainee?” Tae teased him.

“I guess I was too busy being Big Hit’s ace trainee,” Jun replied leaning his head into Tae’s shoulder.

“Then allow me to educate you, _hubae_. Prepare yourself to be stunned,” Tae wrestled his phone out of his pocket & pulled up the video for “No More Dream”.

“They dressed you like that?” Jun said when he got a good look at all of them.

“Unfortunately,” Tae laughed. “Though I do miss that eyeliner sometimes.”

“Kookie can rap?”

“Your _hyung_ is our Golden Maknae. What he can’t do is a shorter list,” Tae replied. “I’m not much of a rapper.”

“You’re good at lots of other stuff,” Jun said.

“I almost didn’t make it. Technically Jin was the last member to join, but I was second to last. It was down to me & 1 other trainee. I made it because Namjoon fought for me. I’ll always be grateful to him for that. I asked him once why he picked me over the other trainee. He said he saw something in me that he didn’t see in him. He couldn’t put a name to it, but I belonged with them. In 2 months, we’ll have been together for 6 years. I never thought that would happen. There were days we wanted to rip each other’s throats out or give up or cried until we ran out of tears or wondered why the hell we thought this was a good idea in the first place,” Tae rested his cheek on the side of Jun’s head. “I hope your lives will be easier than ours were.”

“But it was worth it?” Jun asked.

“It was worth every ounce of blood, sweat, & tears,” Tae replied. “Even if it didn’t feel like it at the time.”

Jun put down his drink & wrapped Tae’s arms around him.

“You think we can do it?”

“I know you can do it. If two underground rappers, two professional dancers, a pretty face, & a couple kids who hadn’t finished puberty can do it, you’ll make us look like amateurs,” Tae squeezed him & kissed the side of his head.

“We’ll never be better than you,” Jun said.

“Give it a couple years & I’ll have you reassess that statement. Wanna get in bed?”

“Please,”

“Up you get,”

Jun got up & Tae finished his wine in 2 large gulps.

They took off their clothes & crawled into bed.

“What do you want to do?” Tae asked.

“Can you just...hold me?” Jun replied.

“You’re certainly easy to please tonight,” Tae hugged Jun into his chest & put his nose in the younger’s hair.

“I didn’t want to be alone tonight. I don’t know why,” Jun sighed. Tae ruffled Jun’s hair with his nose.

“That’s okay. Not everything has a reason. Sometimes we just...feel,” Tae told him.

“I don’t like how I feel right now,”

“And how’s that?”

“Scared,”

“I’d be more concerned if you weren’t scared,” Tae said.

“Why?”

“Overconfidence always blows up in your face. Always,”

“I guess,”

Tae kissed the back of Jun’s head.

“Try to sleep, _hubae_. You’re almost there. I’ll be here when you wake up,”

“Promise?”

“Always,”

**June 9, 2019**   
**10:25pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Tae felt someone shaking his shoulder.

“What?” he yawned.

“I can’t sleep,” Jun said. It was the night before their debut & the older boys decided to let the younger boys spend the night at their dorm.  
Kookie was dead asleep next to Tae.

“Gimme a second,” Tae grabbed his pillow & some extra sheets out of the closet & made a makeshift bed on the floor. He lied down & waved Jun down with him.

“Now you know we can’t do anything because my boyfriend is right there,” he told the younger.

“I know. I just...didn’t want to sleep alone tonight. Plus TH is snoring,” Jun burrowed in the sheets next to Tae.

“I needed to make sure,”

Jun practically glued himself to Tae’s side. Tae put one arm behind Jun’s neck & hugged him with the other. Jun was quiet for so long that Tae was convinced he’d fallen asleep.

“Tae, I think I…” he whispered.

Tae put his finger to Jun’s lips.

“Don’t,” he told him

“You don’t know what I was going to say,” Jun said.

“Yes, I do. You’re anxious about your debut, you’re about to come with us on our tour, & I’m sure there are a lot of other feelings jumbled up in there. I don’t want you to say something that you might have to take back later because you were anxious or overwhelmed,” Tae replied.

“So what do I do? Pretend I don’t feel this way?”

“Of course not. Just don’t say it until you’ve gotten past all these new things & you’re sure that’s what you’re really feeling,” Tae pushed his hair back. “It’s better for both of us this way.”

“Okay,” Jun sounded hurt.

“I’m not telling you this because I don’t care about you, Jun. I’m telling you because I do. I’ve made the mistake of saying it to someone & then having to take it back later. I want you to understand that I don’t want you to repeat my mistakes. If I didn’t care about you, then I’d let you say something you might regret later,” Tae said. “I don’t want you to hurt like that. Ever.”

“Maybe I need to make mistakes,” Jun replied.

“Not these kind,”

Jun heaved a sigh & rested the side of his head on Tae’s chest.

“Get some sleep. You’ve got a big day tomorrow,” Tae said.

“You know what I want to say,” Jun said.

“I know,” Tae rubbed his arm. “When it’s time I’ll say it back.”

“Okay,” Jun wrapped his arms around Tae’s neck.

“Good night, Tae,”

“Good night, Jun,”

**June 10, 2019**   
**5:30pm**   
**Seoul, Korea**

“I think I might puke,” Bo said when they got backstage for their debut show.

“You’ll be fine,” Namjoon said.

“Are you sure?” Kai was trying to keep his hands from shaking.

“You’ve been preparing for this for a month. You’re ready,” Kookie said. “We’ll be right here.”

“And I’ll be in the audience,” Jac added.

“What if I forget the words?” Soobin looked at Jin.

“You won’t. You know this performance inside & out,” Jin put his arm around Soobin’s shoulders.

“We don’t want to disappoint you,” Jun said what the rest of them were thinking.

“There’s no way you could disappoint us,” Yoongi told them.

“Really?” TH asked.

“Really,” Jimin said. They all looked relieved.

“Go get dressed & warm up. We’ll be here before you go on,” Namjoon said going into Dad Mode. They nodded & shuffled off to the dressing rooms.

“God, I’m having flashbacks,” Hobi said.

“I think we all are,” Tae said.

“Except we didn’t have us to live up to,” Jin pointed out.

“Bet you never thought that would happen,” Jac said.

“Nope,” Kookie said.

“I’m gonna go find a good seat. Give the babies hugs for me before they go on,” she said. They agreed & Jac walked back to the audience. She took a deep breath & tried to stop her hands from shaking.

She was more nervous now than when she’d been on national TV translating for BTS. This was different. She’d been in the weeds with them. She’d watched them grow in only a month. She was emotionally invested up front. She loved her brothers fiercely, but she didn’t watch them grow up. She was going to watch this generation grow & become what their brothers, and she, knew they could be. They just couldn’t see it yet.

**7pm**

The lights went out in the studio & then the lights came up on the stage. “Crown” started playing. When the boys looked up in their opening choreography, Jac shot them a thumbs up. She knew at least Soobin & Kai saw her. Jac actually got up & stood on her chair to get the best view. She sang along. When the song ended, she cheered so loud that she was convinced her lungs would give out. She felt her phone go off in her pocket. It was a group text.

Yoongi: _THEY FUCKING KILLED IT._  
Jac: _HELLZ YES THEY DID!!!_  
Hobi: _Jimin is crying._  
Jimin: _Am not._  
Jac: _I have something in my contact._  
Tae: _You don’t wear contacts._  
Jac: _My eye then._  
Namjoon: _Stop texting. Their next song is up._  
Kookie: _Yes Dad._

Jac put her phone away & looked back up at the stage. They’d changed costumes & came back out to perform “Blue Orangeade”. They all smiled a little bigger when they saw Jac waving. They performed flawlessly. Jac started running backstage right as they ran offstage. She quickly flashed her credentials, but she was moving so fast it would’ve been impossible for anyone to stop her.

“You killed it!” she screamed as she jumped up to hug Kai who was the closest. He almost didn’t catch her.

“Thank you,” he laughed. Hugs, pats on the back, & more than a few happy tears were being shed.

“We are popping some bottles to celebrate,” she told them as she wiped her eyes.

“What?” Bo asked.

“Champagne,” Kookie said.

“We’re not old enough to drink,” TH said looking among Bo, Kai, & himself.

“That has literally never slowed her down,” Tae said. The older ones laughed.

“Come on kids, we’re going to the Sex Den & celebrating,” Jac said.

“The WHAT?!” Kai said.

“We’ll tell you when you’re older,” Hobi grinned.

“Or in, like, 2 hours when you can’t stop sticking your tongue down Jimin’s throat,” Yoongi said. The younger ones kept looking more & more traumatized.

“Alright, clean yourselves up & let’s get this afterparty started,” she said.

**9:39pm**

The thirteen of them piled into Jac’s apartment. Jac & Yoongi got the champagne & cups out of the kitchen. Jac took great pleasure in popping the cork of the first bottle.

“Happy debut day, little ones!”

“How’d you do that?” Kai was letting the curiosity get the better of him.

“I’ll show you how to open the next one,” she winked.

“You’re contributing to the delinquency of minors,” Hobi teased.

“I was 13 the first time I got drunk which, I’d like to point out, is the age of consent in this country. If they’re old enough to fuck someone, they’re old enough to have a drink,” she replied.

“In case you haven’t noticed, your big sister isn’t a big fan of rules,” Namjoon said.

“We did,” Soobin said.

“It’s very simple. Will someone die or suffer serious bodily harm if I don’t follow this rule? If the answer is no, then no point in following it,” she shrugged as she handed out cups. The younger ones looked in theirs suspiciously. “Think of it as sour grape juice.”

“To the debut of our little brothers. May your path be easier than ours & know we’ll be with you every step of the way,” Namjoon raised his cup.

“Cheers!”

After the first round, all of TXT had started to get giggly except Kai.

“Are you supposed to feel something?” he asked, looking in his empty cup.

“Must be those German genes,” Jac said. “More for you.” She poured him another cup.

“You’re a horrible influence,” Jimin said.

“And this is news how?” she asked.

“Fair,”

“Can I have more?” Bo asked, holding out his cup.

“Half,” she said noticing he was teetering even sitting down.

“Thank you,” he grinned.

“Me too!” TH said.

“All of you can have half a cup more then you’re cut off,” she said. They nodded.

“Grown ups get to keep going, however,” Hobi said.

“Yes, grown ups get to keep going,” Jac laughed.

**11pm**

Jimin & Hobi had reached the point of intoxication where they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

“Bedroom,” Namjoon said. “Don’t traumatize the children.”

“They won’t remember,” Hobi replied, not getting out from in between Jimin’s legs as Jimin kissed his neck.

“Now,” Namjoon said.

“Fine,” Hobi sighed. He pulled Jimin up & they went down the hall.

Bo was sitting on the floor with his back to one of the chairs. He’d pulled Jac into his lap & was rocking back & forth like a rocking horse.

“You’re gonna make me seasick, kiddo,” she said, trying not to spill her drink.

“It’s like being on a boat. A Bo boat!” he laughed & kept rocking.

“Looks like we have a goofy drunk,” Jin smiled.

“I’m not sure I am drunk,” Kai said. He was on his third cup.

“Maybe you’re like Yoongi & don’t have a liver,” Jac teased. She’d put her cup on the coffee table & was hanging onto Bo’s thighs for dear life. He was still gleefully rocking side to side.

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“She’s being mean,” Yoongi stuck his tongue out at her.

“I speak the truth,” she replied.

Jun had surreptitiously slid his hand closer to Tae’s. He brushed Tae’s pinky with his. Tae looked over at him & the look in Jun’s eyes was unmistakable.

_I want you._

Tae gave him a slight nod & got up.

“I’m gonna get some fresh sheets in case anyone wants to use the bed after Jimin & Hobi are done with it,”

No one acknowledged him. Tae got up & walked down to the hall closet. It was actually a walk in closet. Only Jac could find an apartment with a walk in hall closet. Jun appeared behind him about a minute later. They didn’t bother to greet each other. Jun grabbed Tae in a passionate kiss. His tongue forced Tae’s mouth open & explored the inside of his mouth. Tae put his hands down the back of Jun’s sweatpants & pulled him as close as possible to him. Both of them were breathing like they’d just finished a race as they kissed.

“I can’t decide what I want,” Jun whispered as he kissed Tae’s neck. He tasted the faintest hint of brown sugar & something else he couldn’t place.

“Let me give you my specialty,” Tae replied.

“What's that?”

“When Kookie, Hobi, or Jimin want a hand job, they come see me,” Tae kissed Jun’s ear.

“Is that like what I do to myself?”

“Better,” Tae put his nose in the younger’s ear & kissed his jaw. “Pants off, _hubae_.”

“Yes _sunbae_ ,”

“Or you can take everything off so your _sunbae_ can feel all of you,”

“Yes _sunbae_ ,” Jun replied.

“Perfect,” Tae dragged his hands out of Jun’s pants & up his back. He pulled off his shirt on the way up. “Your turn.”

Jun tentatively pulled Tae’s shirt over his head. Tae pushed Jun’s pants & underwear down. He loosely held onto his cock. Jun’s breath hitched when Tae touched him. They hadn’t done anything in over 2 weeks & Jun had been increasingly craving Tae’s touch since.

“Nice & hard for your _sunbae_. Such a good _hubae_ ,”

“Please _sunbae_ ,” Jun dug his fingers into Tae’s shoulders.

“I won’t make you wait since you did so well on your debut,” Tae kissed him & eased him onto the floor of the closet. He put his arm around Jun’s shoulders & slowly wrapped his fingers around Jun’s cock with the other. Jun groaned with only the slightest touch.

“Why do I get the feeling this won’t take long?” Tae teased. Jun simply breathed heavily into Tae’s ear. Tae began the ripple motion up the shaft. Jun bucked. “Easy _hubae_.”

“Trying,” he breathed. Tae lightly ran his index finger across the bottom of the head. Jun buried his face in Tae’s shoulder & moaned. Tae went back to using his whole hand & Jun started squirming. Tae felt him twitch.

“Close _hubae_?”

“Yes,” he panted. Tae looped his index finger & thumb around the tip & started making quick strokes.

“Oh god,” Jun grunted. He thrust into Tae’s hand & panted into his neck. He clawed at Tae’s stomach as he came on Tae’s hand & his own stomach. He rested his head back on one of the shelves when he finished. Tae grabbed a washcloth & wiped them down.

“That was amazing,” Jun breathed.

“You’re welcome, _hubae_. Happy debut,” Tae kissed him.

“Thank you _sunbae_ ,”

“Always,”

Tae pulled some sheets off the shelves & made a bed on the floor of the closet. Jun snuggled up against Tae’s chest.

“Good night, _sunbae_ ,”

“Good night, _hubae,_ ”

**June 11, 2019**   
**12:34am**   
**Seoul, Korea**

Namjoon, Jin, Hobi, & Jimin had decided to go home. Jac & Yoongi opted to stay & babysit. TH & Soobin had fallen asleep on the floor. Jac carefully put pillows under their heads & covered them with blankets. Tae & Jun hadn’t reappeared so she assumed they were asleep on the floor of the linen closet. It was times like these she was glad that she kept extra sheets & pillows in other places. Then she didn’t have to wake up Kookie or send Yoongi in there to get what they needed.  
Kookie & Kai had fallen asleep on the couch. Kookie had his arm around Kai’s shoulders. The message was clear.

_I’ll protect you_.

Kookie had never had a younger brother. He’d always been the younger brother. Now he had 5 younger brothers. Kai was special, though. Kai was the maknae. He’d sought out Kookie for guidance & advice. Kookie would do whatever it took to make Kai’s life easier. He’d be more than his hyung. He’d be his protector.  
Jac smiled to herself as she put the blanket over them. They adored each other more than most blood siblings did.

“Sweet dreams, _maknaes_ ,” she kissed the top of their heads gently. Neither even twitched.

“Big Sis,” Bo whined when Jac came back into the bedroom.

“Yes dear,”

“Cuddles!” he held out his arms. Yoongi was sitting on the other side of the bed trying not to roll his eyes.

“No Bo boat?”

“No Bo boat,” he replied.

“Then you can have some cuddles,” she said. She got in bed & he hugged her, almost completely engulfing her. “Don’t squish me, little one.”

“Sorry,” he loosened his grip.

“Good boy,”

He was asleep within a matter of minutes.

“Are you really gonna let him sleep in the bed?” Yoongi asked.

“He’s not going to wake up anytime soon,” she replied. “Besides, you let Peanut sleep in the bed.”

“She weighs 3 pounds!”

“And yet somehow takes up half the bed,” Jac replied. “It’s just for tonight. I’m not leaving you for an 18 year old.”

“He’s taking my spot,” Yoongi huffed.

“You’ll live,”

“You’re such a loving girlfriend,”

“Exactly. Good night, Yoongi,” she worked an arm loose & patted him. Yoongi got under the covers.

“He owes me,”

“Of course he does. Now unwad your panties & go to sleep,”

“Fine,”

“I love you Min Yoongi,”

“I love you too Jac Candler,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm only 2 days late. Yay! Also, can y'all believe it's almost over? Only 3 more chapters left. Not gonna lie, I'm gonna miss this story & the crazy ride I've sent them on. Don't miss them too much, though. More Than That (aka Spin Off #1) will be posted regularly until the next story in this 'verse is ready to go. It won't be 500 pg behemoth (in theory). Sometimes I don't write the story, the story writes itself. ANYWAY...
> 
> I hope this chapter was worth waiting an extra 2 days for. Comment or kudos if it suits you.


	22. Dance Break AKA Author’s Lengthy Note

This isn’t a real chapter & I apologize to those who got excited when they clicked on it thinking they were getting the next chapter. I didn’t mean to give you a bait & switch. 

What I wanted to do is explain myself in a space larger than chapter notes or the intro to the story itself. This story started life back in the middle of October when I was in a very dark place. It was my solace, my place to hide, & somewhere I could express my feelings when I couldn’t do it in my real life. It sounds ridiculous that writing gay porn could do that for a person, but it did for me. Now that I’m 3 chapters from the end, I’m realizing that I’ll have to let this story go. I have plans for both a sequel & an origin story, but they don’t have the emotional significance this story does. I know my other fics don’t. I love them & I’m proud of them, but they aren’t my baby. They aren’t the one I clung to when I felt like I had nothing to keep me grounded. 

I see fics with 10,000 hits, thousands of kudos, hundreds of comments & wonder where I went wrong. I feel like I’m just as worthy, but don’t get the attention. Maybe they market themselves better or have more followers on Twitter or write more popular ships (I’ll never be able to write Yoonmin. Believe me, I’ve tried). Maybe it’s not meant to be. I stumbled across a girl who actually shut down her Twitter because writing fics & the feedback she was getting was negatively affecting her mental health. I write because I love it. It would be awesome to have tons of hits, kudos, & comments. It would not be awesome to deal with negative fallout to the point of having to quit a social media platform entirely. I’m happy to listen to what people have to say. I want to know if you like what I’m putting out. That was my first glimpse of the downside of being popular. 

The general point of all this is I’ll likely be dragging my feet posting the last 3 chapters. I promise they will be posted, but it’s going to take time. In the meantime, More Than That, Princess & the Pack, & Without You I Am... will be updated regularly. I’m also participating in the Namseok (Namjoon / Hobi) Kink Bingo Challenge starting later this month. I encourage you to check those out (if you aren’t already) if you’re looking for a fix of my writing. If you’re only here for this story, all I ask is that you’re patient with me. I really do appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read my humble story. I hope it makes your day a little brighter. Or hotter. ;)

XOXO,

The Huntsman’s Boss (AKA Emily)


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